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kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER
sprite never tasted lemon-lime to me. it's just clear, bubbles and sweet


worst snipe yet

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Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

Malcolm Excellent posted:

Y'all need to start sipping on Beverley

My friend will never quite forgive me for suggesting this to him at the Coke museum. His face when he tried it was absolutely priceless.

kntfkr
Feb 11, 2019

GOOSE FUCKER

Midnight Voyager posted:

My friend will never quite forgive me for suggesting this to him at the Coke museum. His face when he tried it was absolutely priceless.

ohhhhhh I had that poo poo in Epcot. the Italian horse piss drink right

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Midnight Voyager posted:

My friend will never quite forgive me for suggesting this to him at the Coke museum. His face when he tried it was absolutely priceless.
gently caress, I had no idea that this was a common childhood experience for people of a certain age.

Again, the irony is that now I drink vermouth on the rocks.

Bruceski
Aug 21, 2007

The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

kntfkr posted:

sprite never tasted lemon-lime to me. it's just clear, bubbles and sweet


worst snipe yet

I'm inclined to agree. Fizzy sugar seltzer.

holtemon
May 2, 2019

Dancing is forbidden

quote:

My birthday sucked
Mid 30s here. Normally not one to complain but today is my birthday and it sucked. So I’m going to be a whiny bitch.

Married, sole bread winner. Wife is a stay at home mom.

My (really clearly requested) birthday present requests:

An enthusiastic BJ

Breakfast made for me (even a bowl of cereal I dont care just a little effort and showing that they care)

Birthday timeline:

Wake up at 6am, super quick vanilla quicky with wife (no BJ) Toddler cries as we’re finishing. So ends super quick(er).

6:15 Take my kid downstairs, make him breakfast, roll some cars around. He’s cute. don’t make myself breakfast, that would be loving sad after my request.

7:45 Wife heads across to another city for a 100% unimportant PTA type meeting she could totally skip if she wanted to. I see her off, don’t even get a ‘happy birthday’.

7:45 -> 8:30 I do the housework (like most days) prep the child, walk him to daycare go to my office to start work.

Birthday breakfast was a plastic wrapped convenience store scone.

8:30 -> 11:30 work, child #2 (was at a friends the night before) gets sent home from school due to being sick…. Even though she’s not sick. I leave work, take her home and look after her. Wife still in pointless PTA. I remind kid it’s my birthday and I get an ‘oh I forgot, happy birthday’. Make sandwiches for her and generally keep her happy. She’s cute too.

13:30 kid goes to grandmas, I go back to work.

17:00 wife gets back from PTA meeting, finds i have taken the ~$12 she left on my card / money / wallet pile assuming it was mine. Apparently she received it from someone and didn’t write down how much it was. Get aggressively lectured for no reason.

She is ‘too tired’ to pick up toddler. I rush to go do it.

17:30 She asks what I’ve prepared for the kids dinner… ahh, I was working?!? I try to suggest cheerfully, hey it’s my birthday let’s Uber something tasty! get told off for that taking to long and told to ‘make something’ - so I make the kids some ravioli.

18:00 Wife grumpily folds a few towels from the 3 loads of washing I did. Then goes to play with her phone in our bedroom while I feed the children.

18:30 Birthday dinner was ravioli scraps and some toast, too burned out to be hosed making anything at that point.

19:00 I bathe the kids and feed them a slice of birthday cake I bought. I invite wife downstairs for cake. Nope.

20:00 I bring the kids upstairs to bed, put the big one to bed and the little one decides he wants to cuddle mommy.

20:30 Big kid falls asleep. Wife falls asleep next to little one.

20:30 -> 22:00 clean up the kitchen and two kids worth of carnage by myself.

That’s it. Birthday done.

22:00 -> now I mindlessly scroll Reddit wishing someone cared about me, not just needed me for money / food / changing diapers.

Honestly a card, a letter, a cuddle and a ‘happy birthday’, a loving coffee made for me. Any glimmer of hope that someone cared would have been enough…

I’ve got money, food and a roof over my head. I know at the end of the day it’s not so bad and I’m just being a bitch. But I guess it’s a bit lonely hey.

Not from /relationships but still a doozy. All the comments are saying she's out cheating on him during the 9 hour PTA meeting

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

holtemon posted:

Not from /relationships but still a doozy. All the comments are saying she's out cheating on him during the 9 hour PTA meeting

It 100% reads like cheating lol.

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
I finally realized not that long ago that 7-Up tastes like liquid Froot Loops.

TheWeedNumber
Apr 20, 2020

by sebmojo

holtemon posted:

Not from /relationships but still a doozy. All the comments are saying she's out cheating on him during the 9 hour PTA meeting

Lol

A Pack of Kobolds
Mar 23, 2007



trickybiscuits posted:

American chocolate is garbage. Years ago when I went to the UK I was mailing British candy bars back to my family in NY like an immigrant sending money back to their family in the old country.

I'm not defending Hershey here, but British chocolate is garbage compared to Belgium, Switzerland, Austria, Germany, etc.

titty_baby_
Nov 11, 2015

Pope Corky the IX posted:

My ex-wife once tried to give me a blowjob while drunk and ended up puking on my dick. It was dark so I didn't immediately realize what had happened so she slurred that everything was fine while picking chunks of curry chicken out of my pubic hair.

My ex and I were having sex in my car in my parents driveway and I farted and it stunk so bad I got nauseous (idk how she didn't notice) and I suggested we just sneak inside the house and keep going. We did, and I still felt nauseous, and after I came I ran outside naked and puked in the backyard and she was offended for a little bit

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

holtemon posted:

Not from /relationships but still a doozy. All the comments are saying she's out cheating on him during the 9 hour PTA meeting

What exactly does the stay at home wife do if he's doing the cooking, cleaning, and cildcare?

Other than disappear for an amount of time equal to having a job.

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


AITA for not letting my MIL babysit my daughter?

quote:

My daughter is breast fed exclusively and my MIL knows this. When I bring my daughter to my MIL’s house I bring enough breast milk that she will have plenty with all the bottles and equipment for her. I’ve recently found out she is only feeding my daughter formula because she believes breast milk is dirty and has been throwing out all my breast milk. She said to my face breast milk is dirty because mothers who have s*x pollute their own bodies. She has never liked me and I’ve tried to get along with her but my husband just keeps his heads down and refuses to speak up in my defence. I’ve hired a babysit and won’t let my MIL babysit my daughter and my husband and I have been fighting because she is crying to him and he doesn’t see it was a big deal how she is fed. I feel like my family is getting split apart. I’m gritted my teeth and let my MIL walk all over me because of my husband but this is outrageous to me because it should be my choice how I feed my baby. But am I wrong for not letting her babysit her anymore because I don’t trust her to follow how I want to feed my baby

Lots of advice in the comments that she tell the husband they won't be having any more sex to avoid compromising the breast milk.

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not letting my MIL babysit my daughter?

Lots of advice in the comments that she tell the husband they won't be having any more sex to avoid compromising the breast milk.

This logic is genuinely the most insane sex weird I've ever seen. You have to have sex to have a baby, you produce milk to feed the baby, how does that lead to "sex pollutes breast milk"?

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
Sex without the purpose of procreation is what's poisoning her breastmilk.

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Sex without the purpose of procreation is what's poisoning her breastmilk.

But she could be immediately trying for another baby, right???

duck trucker
Oct 14, 2017

YOSPOS

I love my grandchild but I refuse to feed her the mother's WHOREMONGER MILK

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
Grandma should ask for a maternity test.

Nyan Bread
Mar 17, 2006

Only the purest mountain breastmilk harvested by hand from the bep of a Himalayan sherpa, bottled lovingly in the basement of a bombed out bunker turned artisanal family cannery, transported on the wings of Archangel Gabriel herself right into your babby's gaping maw.

The Maroon Hawk
May 10, 2008

holtemon posted:


quote:

22:00 -> now I mindlessly scroll Reddit wishing someone cared about me, not just needed me for money / food / changing diapers.

Honestly a card, a letter, a cuddle and a ‘happy birthday’, a loving coffee made for me. Any glimmer of hope that someone cared would have been enough…

Not from /relationships but still a doozy. All the comments are saying she's out cheating on him during the 9 hour PTA meeting

Even setting aside the fact that this guy's totally being cheated on, this is just sad :smith:

Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

I really miss this lemon-lime soda



It had a much smoother taste than 7-up or Sprite. They always had commercial where some dude shows up at a party/the beach/etc in a jacket, getting all sweaty, and when someone offers him water he instead asks for potato chips. Then the dude quenches his thirst with a refreshing bottle of Teem.

AnoHito
May 8, 2014

Amish Birch Beer, sold in an unmarked jug from a shop in the middle of fuckall, Pennsylvania.

or failing at that those Pellegrino limonatas are pretty great.

Elissimpark
May 20, 2010

Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Inceltown posted:

The only correct 'soda' to drink in Australia is



Sure, if you live in the foetid wasteland off the coast of Real Australia.

Otherwise you drink this:

BIG FLUFFY DOG
Feb 16, 2011

On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.


Hmm you do all the cooking, cleaning, childcare and finances and receive v little sex and affection from your wife whose obviously cheating? Normally I’d say you have to marry them to keep from losing a catch like that but since you’ve already done that you must get super married

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

holtemon posted:

Not from /relationships but still a doozy. All the comments are saying she's out cheating on him during the 9 hour PTA meeting

I mean she's being taught all right

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.
I demand virgin breastmilk for my grandchild!

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
Just do away with breastmilk entirely and put some Diet Squirt in the bottle.

StrangersInTheNight
Dec 31, 2007
ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON
Babies love Limca, right?

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
I'm pretty sure one of the infants on that Honey Boo Boo show was fed with a baby bottle full of Mountain Dew. The one with three thumbs.

holtemon
May 2, 2019

Dancing is forbidden

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I'm pretty sure one of the infants on that Honey Boo Boo show was fed with a baby bottle full of Mountain Dew. The one with three thumbs.



Gotta carb up for the pageant

Oh and there's Red Bull in there too

Invisible Clergy
Sep 25, 2015

"Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

trickybiscuits posted:

American chocolate is garbage. Years ago when I went to the UK I was mailing British candy bars back to my family in NY like an immigrant sending money back to their family in the old country.

In history, sometimes the milk in chocolate would go bad when shipping it for long periods of time. Old people got used to the taste so now the taste of sour milk/vomit is added on purpose to lovely American chocolate by putting butyric acid in it, which is what gives cheap brands that horrible smell.

Bruceski posted:

Soda chat, as far as colas go I wish Coke made a sugar version in general US. I prefer the flavor to Pepsi but have the same gross aftereffects of HFCS. All artificial sweeteners bug me, I try to cut down on the amount I drink instead and substitute seltzer as appropriate (just store brand, they have some same price as soda).

You can get Mexican Coke online or at costco in the US. It costs a little more because they insist on using heavy, expensive glass bottles for whatever stupid reason, but it's worth it if you want a beverage that tastes good.

holtemon posted:

Not from /relationships but still a doozy. All the comments are saying she's out cheating on him during the 9 hour PTA meeting

See, this kind of cuck post, on the other hand, is perfectly believable.

limp_cheese posted:

What exactly does the stay at home wife do if he's doing the cooking, cleaning, and cildcare?

Other men.

RenegadeStyle1
Jun 7, 2005

Baby Come Back

StrangersInTheNight posted:

Babies love Limca, right?

Limca balls

feedmegin
Jul 30, 2008

A Pack of Kobolds posted:

I'm not defending Hershey here, but British chocolate is garbage compared to Belgium, Switzerland, Austria, Germany, etc.

That's because American companies bought all the British ones in the last decade or so.

DoubleNegative
Jan 27, 2010

The most virtuous child in the entire world.
This discussion is reminding me of that time when I was a kid when my family had this container of chocolates from around the world. Most of them were fine or even delicious. But one of the little bars from somewhere in Europe tasted like loving ham. It's really disconcerting to bite into what you think is chocolate, only to taste pork.

pentyne
Nov 7, 2012

DoubleNegative posted:

This discussion is reminding me of that time when I was a kid when my family had this container of chocolates from around the world. Most of them were fine or even delicious. But one of the little bars from somewhere in Europe tasted like loving ham. It's really disconcerting to bite into what you think is chocolate, only to taste pork.

in europe this is very normal

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not letting my MIL babysit my daughter?

Lots of advice in the comments that she tell the husband they won't be having any more sex to avoid compromising the breast milk.

I'll tie this into soda chat and say MIL needs to feed her grandchild only the very best and healthiest drink in existence

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8NJRRnnatw&t=35s

Azuth0667
Sep 20, 2011

By the word of Zoroaster, no business decision is poor when it involves Ahura Mazda.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Everyone post your favorite soda!

Does tonic water count?

Scaevolus
Apr 16, 2007

Soylent Pudding posted:

Lots of advice in the comments that she tell the husband they won't be having any more sex to avoid compromising the breast milk.
I will never jeopardize the milk

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?

Azuth0667 posted:

Does tonic water count?

I’ll allow it.

EDIT: On second thought, no.

Pope Corky the IX fucked around with this message at 23:57 on Nov 8, 2021

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JnnyThndrs
May 29, 2001

HERE ARE THE FUCKING TOWELS

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Even setting aside the fact that this guy's totally being cheated on, this is just sad :smith:

All I could think of was the first episode of Breaking Bad where Skylar gives him an exceptionally disinterested handy.

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