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You can open a 529 in a state that you do not reside in, my father in law used to be a financial advisor and he gave us some good advice. We live in DE and use Utah (https://my529.org) for their 529, it has had a hell of a ROI for our daughter.
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Nov 9, 2021 10:57
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We also use the Utah plan for our daughter’s 529
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Nov 9, 2021 11:47
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Before opening in another state, check your own state's tax code to see if you'd get benefit from opening an account in your home state's program. For example, Ohio let's you deduct $4k of 529 contributions per beneficiary from your taxes with unlimited carry forward if you use Ohio's 529 program (which is a decent program with access to Vanguard funds).
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Nov 9, 2021 12:49
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Our state has poo poo 529s, so we opened one through Vanguard. It's technically through Nevada I think? Doesn't matter anyhow. Super low ERs, and they have "target date" funds just like their retirement accounts (also other kinds of funds if you're more hands on). $3k minimum opening balance, though, and IIRC deposits must be $50 or more. So if you're doing monthly or quarterly recurring contributions, it has to be at least $50. Anything less has to be manual. I think Vanguard has other options too through other states, like an Iowa option that has slightly higher ERs but lower account/deposit minimums. calandryll posted:You can open a 529 in a state that you do not reside in, my father in law used to be a financial advisor and he gave us some good advice. We live in DE and use Utah (https://my529.org) for their 529, it has had a hell of a ROI for our daughter. You can, but for the handful of states that offer tax benefits they only apply to residents. Good-Natured Filth posted:Before opening in another state, check your own state's tax code to see if you'd get benefit from opening an account in your home state's program. For example, Ohio let's you deduct $4k of 529 contributions per beneficiary from your taxes with unlimited carry forward if you use Ohio's 529 program (which is a decent program with access to Vanguard funds). This is key. Some states will offer tax deductions for contributions for residents, and that will often make them better than a lower fee plan from a different state (even if other parts of the plan suck). The hard part there is if you take unqualified distributions, the states will want their money back, so if there's a chance that the money won't be spent on college then you have to be prepared to handle the tax implication.
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Nov 9, 2021 13:33
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DaveSauce posted:You can, but for the handful of states that offer tax benefits they only apply to residents. Interesting, I just let my accountant wife take care of all that stuff  .
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Nov 9, 2021 14:38
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I remember when I used to lift weights for like 10-12 hours a week and cook good food from scratch nearly every day and now it’s a major achievement to get a 20min workout in and make something that’s not a heat-and-serve dinner. I remind myself that the baby+toddler combo stage is temporary and I’ll get some of that time back but oh boy does it just completely sap the ability to get non-childcare non-housework things done. Free time and bodily autonomy is wasted on 22 year olds.
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Nov 9, 2021 15:42
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BadSamaritan posted:I remember when I used to lift weights for like 10-12 hours a week and cook good food from scratch nearly every day and now it’s a major achievement to get a 20min workout in and make something that’s not a heat-and-serve dinner. Gah I hear this so much. I desperately miss having blank space time, especially for working out. I've gained like 30 pounds since my kid was born and I hate it.
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Nov 9, 2021 15:49
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I've actually lost weight since my twins were born and my blood pressure has dropped to a normal level after being slightly elevated. /brag I used to eat lunch out almost every day and now I can't do that with the kids, so I've been able to reduce the high-calorie high-sodium food intake. It's definitely challenging to make meals because the drat wiener kids keep bugging me, but I can usually throw a few things in the slow cooker real quick every few mornings and have a pretty tasty meal that lasts us all for a few days. Also they really like going outside and either walking or going in the stroller for a walk. Now that the weather is real nice in Florida I've been getting 15,000+ steps in a day.
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Nov 9, 2021 15:57
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I get mad jealous when Im out taking my kid for a walk and I see people who jogging after what seems to be a full and long nights sleep
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Nov 9, 2021 16:39
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Tom Smykowski posted:a full and long nights sleep 
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Nov 9, 2021 16:44
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BadSamaritan posted:I remind myself that the baby+toddler combo stage is temporary and I’ll get some of that time back but oh boy does it just completely sap the ability to get non-childcare non-housework things done. Free time and bodily autonomy is wasted on 22 year olds. I feel this so much. I used to cook good things from scratch, and it occurred to me the other day that I haven’t bought an onion in a very long time.
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Nov 9, 2021 17:20
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BadSamaritan posted:I remind myself that the baby+toddler combo stage is temporary and I’ll get some of that time back but oh boy does it just completely sap the ability to get non-childcare non-housework things done. Free time and bodily autonomy is wasted on 22 year olds. It’s borderline impossible to work up the motivation to even suggest to the toddler to pick up his toys, especially on a day he’s chosen not to nap. And the baby is sick this week and she’s letting us know it. I was trying to cook chipotle honey shrimp last night for tacos and I didn’t even get to that until like 6:30, and that was when I had just the baby for the day since she didn’t go to daycare. She was just onnery and needy so like, yeah
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Nov 9, 2021 17:34
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We've given up on managing screen time. Our nearly three year old has discovered Ghibli films and just wants to watch them all the time now. I don't have the willpower to constantly drag her away and force her into another activity, and my wife isn't super interested in enforcing that boundary either. I've mostly made my peace with it but my mom is visiting right now, and having raised me without TV I can feel her silent judgment. I'm telling myself that no one can be a perfect parent, and we're really good in other areas: we don't yell, we're attentive, we do enriching activities like baking muffins together. If we're going to slip up then there are a lot worse things we could be doing than over-exposing her to Kiki's Delivery Service.
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Nov 9, 2021 17:47
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wizzardstaff posted:We've given up on managing screen time. Our nearly three year old has discovered Ghibli films and just wants to watch them all the time now. I don't have the willpower to constantly drag her away and force her into another activity, and my wife isn't super interested in enforcing that boundary either. I've mostly made my peace with it but my mom is visiting right now, and having raised me without TV I can feel her silent judgment. There's a big difference between watching movies (with an actual narrative with fleshed out characters and requiring more than an hour of attention) and unstructured screen time (cocomelon/blippi/unboxing short bursts of meaningless youtube fodder). 3 years old is certainly old enough to have some structured screen time like movie watching.
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Nov 9, 2021 18:06
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We’ve got a 10 hr road trip coming up tomorrow and you better believe we’re going to test the limits of how much cocomelon one child can stand
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Nov 9, 2021 18:39
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Gonna try to make my kid watch Stop Making Sense so I can entertain her entirely with David Byrne related weirdness.
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Nov 9, 2021 18:41
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wizzardstaff posted:We've given up on managing screen time. Our nearly three year old has discovered Ghibli films and just wants to watch them all the time now. I don't have the willpower to constantly drag her away and force her into another activity, and my wife isn't super interested in enforcing that boundary either. I've mostly made my peace with it but my mom is visiting right now, and having raised me without TV I can feel her silent judgment. Go easy on yourself. A lot of the screen time recommendations are based on the extrapolation of dicey research or just plain old data. https://www.motherjones.com/media/2021/06/kids-screen-time-science-panic/
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Nov 9, 2021 18:46
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Insurrectum posted:There's a big difference between watching movies (with an actual narrative with fleshed out characters and requiring more than an hour of attention) and unstructured screen time (cocomelon/blippi/unboxing short bursts of meaningless youtube fodder). 3 years old is certainly old enough to have some structured screen time like movie watching. This is super comforting to hear because if my 2.5 year old had it his way we would just have Toy Story 1-4 on in a continuous loop all day. We can get him to watch other movies (mostly also Pixar), but he really only watches things like Cocomelon when it's just before bedtime and we need him in a bit of zombie state to be able to brush his teeth/clip nails/etc. I've always been a bit uneasy about the amount of screen time he gets, but he really only gets it on the 3 days a week he doesn't go to daycare, and even then we'll try to keep it down to 2 Pixar movies a day.
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Nov 9, 2021 19:48
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The screen time thing has always just felt like a moralistic stance from parents/people who can more easily afford to "non screen time" parent their kids, and my assumption was that any sort of ill effects seen in higher screen time kids is just correlated with lower socioeconomic status.
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Nov 9, 2021 19:54
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illcendiary posted:The screen time thing has always just felt like a moralistic stance from parents/people who can more easily afford to "non screen time" parent their kids, and my assumption was that any sort of ill effects seen in higher screen time kids is just correlated with lower socioeconomic status. According to Emily Oster’s book (I know she’s way more controversial now than she was two years ago so not saying this is gospel) this is basically true with the possible exception of obesity. Personally our kid has been watching screens since he was about 1.5, we limit it to 25 minutes a day although now that we’re nearing two years old we’ve let him watch a couple movies. My guiding principals are just (1) is he getting plenty of non screen time at home so he can develop those skills/interests and (2) are the things he’s watching something other than just a dopamine rush, either by being educational in some way or at least having a story to teach empathy. Once when the grandparents were visiting they let him watch cocomelon and baby shark crap on YouTube and it took a really long time to break him off that and get him to enjoy watching other stuff again.
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Nov 9, 2021 20:59
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Ada Twist Scientist is a good show. Well I thought today was going to be the day that everything would be decided. Turns out it was a meeting for our future hearings and it took all of 15 minutes. Actual hearing won’t happen until January. All that stress for nothing.
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Nov 9, 2021 22:09
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I wish my 3 year old was into movies. We can only get him to pay attention to maybe 10-15 minutes of a movie. I blame it on cocomelon and YouTube and it’s constant shifting of material.
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Nov 9, 2021 22:57
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nwin posted:I wish my 3 year old was into movies. What I would give for my 3.5 year old to watch pixar movies or something, but instead its robot vacuum reviews on youtube. 
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Nov 10, 2021 00:35
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Raimondo posted:What I would give for my 3.5 year old to watch pixar movies or something, but instead its robot vacuum reviews on youtube. Show them How It's Made on netflix. Lots of whirring machinery and industrial equipment, and nominally educational.
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Nov 10, 2021 01:12
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My son is mostly focused on developing an encyclopedic knowledge of vehicle names from Kids Picture Show videos. Is worth it to hear him talk about Hobbercrabs (hovercrafts) though.
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Nov 10, 2021 01:17
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Tamarillo posted:My son is mostly focused on developing an encyclopedic knowledge of vehicle names from Kids Picture Show videos. Is worth it to hear him talk about Hobbercrabs (hovercrafts) though. Show him transformers to up the difficulty level. Robot names AND vehicle names.
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Nov 10, 2021 01:22
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My baby boy has discovered that he can grab himself. Unfortunately when he gets tired he does it too hard and starts screaming and then in his distress he grabs harder and I’m trying to dislodge his surprisingly strong hand, dry him off, and diaper him before he can repeat and I guess what I’m saying is evening bath has become more of an adventure.
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Nov 10, 2021 01:33
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Raimondo posted:What I would give for my 3.5 year old to watch pixar movies or something, but instead its robot vacuum reviews on youtube. I pray my child never finds out these exist
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Nov 10, 2021 01:54
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I've watched so many Minnie's Bow Toons that I've nearly written an academic paper on the analysis of how the world of Mickey Mouse is just a planet where some humans uplifted select species and left sentient animatronics to watch over their creations. Thankfully, she's getting into the two other Mickey shows, Peppa Pig, and Curious George so there's some variety. Plus the 1964 Rudolph show now that it's November.
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Nov 10, 2021 01:55
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What's the educational value of just youtube videos of different garbage trucks picking up trash? Asking for a friend.
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Nov 10, 2021 02:24
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Raimondo posted:What I would give for my 3.5 year old to watch pixar movies or something, but instead its robot vacuum reviews on youtube. My dude is scared shitless of our robovac when it’s on the move. Unless I hold him then he yells at it how he’s not scared. If it’s parked he’ll say “hi robot!” How it’s made could be good…dude wants to know how loving everything works.
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Nov 10, 2021 02:48
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My oldest is back into watching The Polar Express now that Halloween is over. It’s honestly the most horrid animation I’ve ever seen in my life. He loves the book too and it’s such an incredibly boring read. How could a story and movie about a magical Christmas train suck this much?
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Nov 10, 2021 03:05
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davebo posted:What's the educational value of just youtube videos of different garbage trucks picking up trash? Asking for a friend. My nephew just got done with this two year long phase If it makes youv feel any better, an adult in their prime can only absorb information for about 4 hours, that's all MI5/6 allots for rapid language immersion as your brain just shuts off after that Probably if you sneak in 30 min of sesame street you're probably pulling a net positive for the day I am not a child psychologist
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Nov 10, 2021 03:18
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ukrainius maximus posted:My oldest is back into watching The Polar Express now that Halloween is over. It’s honestly the most horrid animation I’ve ever seen in my life. If it helps, The Polar Express existing led to this work of art https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5RzTKU7Q3jg
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Nov 10, 2021 14:32
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I don't think it helps, and I've just now watched another minute and 47 seconds of that abomination.
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Nov 10, 2021 15:33
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What's the thread's opinion on Santa, tooth fairy, Easter bunny and other untruths we were all brought up on. My wife and I had an unexpected disagreement about whether Santa is coming to visit our 2 year old. She's all for perpetuating these stories, she's believes they're a big part of childhood innocence and wonder. I'm more ambivalent. The more small lies you tell, the easier it is to tell the big lies to your children.
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Nov 10, 2021 15:38
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I don't think you're actually lying until you get the "is Santa real?" question.
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Nov 10, 2021 15:46
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davebo posted:What's the educational value of just youtube videos of different garbage trucks picking up trash? Asking for a friend. Our youngest loves garbage trucks at times, other times he loves to watch lawn care videos - especially when it's starting from a state of hella overgrown. They all love those Malaysian or whatever guys who make the insane pool house things in the clay dirt. Wife is in the hospital with mastoiditis and we have God-knows-what ripping through the house. EDIT: Afriscipio posted:What's the thread's opinion on Santa, tooth fairy, Easter bunny and other untruths we were all brought up on. My wife and I had an unexpected disagreement about whether Santa is coming to visit our 2 year old. I sort of think of these things as fun and sometimes instructive. Santa, to me, is the embodiment of the spirit of Christmas - giving without necessarily getting in return, and getting enjoyment from seeing the recipients enjoy gifts. We might threaten coal in the stocking but we'd never actually follow through. Also, they're limited to like one present each from Santa, and it's not even the Big Gift. Easter Bunny is just a fun way to give candy and have an egg hunt, but I fail to see what a loving rabbit has to do with the resurrection of Jesus. Tooth Fairy, I think, is a way to assuage the "ahhhhh my loving teeth fell out" of childhood. Makes grown-up teeth something to look forward to. White lies are unfortunately part of parenting. Did you tell your kid that the baby food carrots taste good or did you tell the truth? When your three-year-old asked where babies come from, did you say it's when two people have sex or did you say the whole "when a mommy and daddy love each other very much" knowing full well people that hate one another can reproduce, as can two people that don't know each other at all beyond 2 drinks and drunken groping? D34THROW fucked around with this message at 16:10 on Nov 10, 2021 |
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Nov 10, 2021 16:04
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In a world where the concept of Santa didn’t exist, I would not feel the need to invent him in order to make my child feel innocence and wonder. So really for me it’s a question of whether she’ll be harmed by not having the same experience as her peers. And I’m very much leaning toward her being okay.
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Nov 10, 2021 16:06
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Santa is awesome and it's fun as heck to see your kids jazzed out of their mind for a month or more about him. I asked my 4yo if Santa should just give her all the presents this year and she said (paraphrasing) "NO! I just need some of the presents because all the kids should get presents" - so this year we are going to go pick out gifts to donate! I just need to figure out how to explain why we need to donate presents if Santa is supposed to just be handing out presents to everybody regardless of their parents' financial situation...
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Nov 10, 2021 16:16
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