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Yeah no in the context of the scene "comfort" very clearly means "on a physical level that is a very bad idea". She is all but throwing herself at Hisao here.
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Nov 10, 2021 18:31
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I wonder if the lack of choices in this route reflects a conscious choice, or if the writers were just lazy.
Cobalt-60 fucked around with this message at 19:47 on Nov 10, 2021 |
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Nov 10, 2021 19:33
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If this route was better written in general I'd call it a deliberate artistic choice reflecting Shizune's controlling/manipulative nature compared to the other girls, buuuuut...
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Nov 10, 2021 20:02
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Cobalt-60 posted:I wonder if the lack of choices in this route reflects a conscious choice, or if the writers were just lazy. I wouldn’t say LAZY; it takes a lot of effort to write this much, you know  . But the route writer just was not up to everybody else’s standards. Frankly, I’ve read professionally published, well-reviewed literary fiction that was both more sloppily written and less emotionally real than Shizune’s route. But when compared to the rest of the game, it’s just problematic and unexceptional.
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Nov 10, 2021 20:12
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Captain Oblivious posted:Yeah no in the context of the scene "comfort" very clearly means "on a physical level that is a very bad idea". She is all but throwing herself at Hisao here. Yea, my read through of the update made "comfort" very apparent what the option was going to do. The time I played through this route I definitely assumed it was comfort like a pat on the back and a heart to heart talk, but I think that's mostly because I was powering through the rather underwhelming story at this point and didn't give this scene the careful read it needed. I wouldn't be surprised than a few people fell into this exact scenario and hence it's reputation as a surprise. At least I did the "VN save at every choice" thing so it wasn't the end of the world when I ran into the bad end (actually I think I might have reloaded when the sex scene started playing since that was absolutely not my intent).
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Nov 10, 2021 21:37
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ZevGun posted:since that was absolutely not my intent Such copulation... This was not my intention!
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Nov 11, 2021 00:27
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i remember being a teenager and i would not have been able to maintain self-control if i was in this situation and it absolutely would have worked out for the worse. talking to her on the rooftop is a much better alternative because it's easier to resist temptation there than literally on his loving bed.Update 79 posted:That stunned and dismayed a lot of players who read the choices as “talk her through her issues and make her feel better” and “coldly give her the boot”: they picked the first option and belatedly realized they’d overestimated Hisao’s strength of character. the Hisao we've seen in the last two routes, the ones where he made all the right choices, comes off as astoundingly mature, thoughtful, and wise for a teenager, so depending on the order people play the routes in, i could see that affecting the choice they make here.
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Nov 11, 2021 00:40
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Well I wasn't totally crazy about Misha crushing on someone, but I will own up to my own biases coloring my read on the situation. That is a rough situation regardless, and while they absolutely could have set it up a lot better I'm still impressed it was handled with some tact.
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Nov 11, 2021 00:45
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... Yeah, I don't remember this bit at all. I remember the bad end, though.Falconier111 posted:Honestly? Their use as insults. If you want to say someone else can’t understand something you think is obvious, you call them an idiot or a moron; if you want to say they missed something they shouldn’t have, you call them blind. The perception of Less runs so deep in the English language that trying to dislodge it runs into the same issue you mentioned with trans rep: plenty of people see challenging their use of that language as a challenge to themselves, so they respond deeply negatively. It’s a tragedy of the human condition that many people would choose a broader selection of insults over treating people like human beings, but that’s the nature of society right now. A few years back, when I realized that those insults were so problematic, I tried to think of an appropriate substitute. My immediate thought was "dumbass". About ten seconds late I went "wait..." I honestly have a hard time thinking of many common insults that aren't either gendered/sexual or reference disabilities. The remainder is mostly scatological. From a detached academic standpoint it's fascinating how that insults reflect societal insecurities. From a personal standpoint I wince whenever I hear someone at work use the r word. Chloe Jessica posted:A Comparison of Societal Treatment of Disabled People and Transgender People Also just want to say that I appreciate this. I'm coming from the opposite perspective transition-wise (heavily in the closet) so there's some elements I missed, but this definitely hits home and puts in words many of the feelings I'd been having re: commonality of experience. Sure, if you feel I posted something worth it then be my guest. I hereby grant you permission to use my posts in this thread going forward unless specifically stated otherwise on a post-by-post basis.
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Nov 11, 2021 03:28
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Karia posted:... Yeah, I don't remember this bit at all. I remember the bad end, though. rear end, rear end in a top hat, asshat are pretty okay. douchebag, maybe, although im not sure why the association with feminine hygiene products. my previous girlfriend and i started calling each other out on using "lame" and decided to bring "bogus" back as a replacement
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Nov 11, 2021 03:47
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Karia posted:I honestly have a hard time thinking of many common insults that aren't either gendered/sexual or reference disabilities. The remainder is mostly scatological. From a detached academic standpoint it's fascinating how that insults reflect societal insecurities. I think scatological is really the only remaining category of insults that aren't demeaning to some minority. It still feels like most of them are slightly male-gendered, though, because in the same situation that you'd call a man an rear end in a top hat, (several decades of gendered media has indoctrinated in me that) you'd call a woman a  .Chloe Jessica posted:rear end, rear end in a top hat, asshat are pretty okay. douchebag, maybe, although im not sure why the association with feminine hygiene products. Bogus is good, I should use bogus more. I think I still use "sucks" in that context, which is the last homophobic insult left in my lexicon. I think it's still there because in high school, I internalized the completely bogus rationale of "I'm not using it to say it sucks cock!" (We were totally using it to say it sucks cock and it was a bad thing to do so)
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Nov 11, 2021 08:03
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I recommend 'jerk', 'jerkbag', 'jerkalumpagus' (seriously), or 'jackass'.
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Nov 11, 2021 08:09
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come to think of it, i don't know that there's anything wrong with (mother)fucker as an insult.
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Nov 11, 2021 09:03
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Chloe Jessica posted:come to think of it, i don't know that there's anything wrong with (mother)fucker as an insult.
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Nov 11, 2021 13:07
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How about "fool", is that safe? And what about "dick"? That one's obviously male-genitalia-related, but so far as I'm aware doesn't have its roots in homophobia or otherwise oppressing people.
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Nov 11, 2021 15:35
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TooMuchAbstraction posted:How about "fool", is that safe? "Online Etymology Dictionary” posted:fool (n.1) Nope, drat. Stupid comes from the same source as stunned and originally meant something like punch-drunk, though, so that’s probably solid. E: though it is probably a good idea not to get too caught up in excising language that might be problematic and just focus on slurs. Ask a Native American what they think about white people trying to stamp out “Indian” sometime. Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 19:58 on Nov 11, 2021 |
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Nov 11, 2021 19:55
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Falconier111 posted:Nope, drat. Stupid comes from the same source as stunned and originally meant something like punch-drunk, though, so that’s probably solid. E: though it is probably a good idea not to get too caught up in excising language that might be problematic and just focus on slurs. Ask a Native American what they think about white people trying to stamp out “Indian” sometime. Not First Nations/Native but dont some people reclaim that word? They spell it as NDN though Violet_Sky fucked around with this message at 23:21 on Nov 11, 2021 |
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Nov 11, 2021 21:12
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How about "absurd" or "ridiculous"? Asburd: mid 16th century: from Latin absurdus ‘out of tune’, hence ‘irrational’; So far so good! "related to surdus ‘deaf, dull’." drat. Ridiculous: mid 16th century: from Latin ridiculosus, from ridiculus ‘laughable’ This seems safe.
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Nov 11, 2021 23:01
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I think "wretch" is a relatively non-ablest insult. Google gives a few suggestions from there, though they might make you sound a touch old-fashioned: rotter, blackguard, knave, cad Personally can't really think of any that are harsher than just playground insults eg. "meanie", or calling someone akin to a farmyard animal.
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Nov 12, 2021 09:24
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Bastard is technically gender-neutral I guess, but is mostly applied to men so I dunno. I usually go for dickbag which does refer to male genitalia but I use it on pretty much anyone who deserves it.
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Nov 12, 2021 09:28
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TBH I do not think this is a great way to interact with language - when taking long-defunct denotations of a word as fully accurate and meaningful through the present when that meaning was ableist at any point throughout its history, the primary effect is to privilege and empower long-dead notions over the present living language. What somebody used a word for in 1600 or even 1900 is not guaranteed to map super well onto how a 2021 person uses the same set of phonemes or letters. I am not saying that ableist language is insignificant in 2021 English by any means ("fell on deaf ears" is a phrase I've heard twice this week at work), but that this kind of historical mining just kind of feels like doing other's work for them.
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Nov 12, 2021 12:59
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Update 80: Off By One (Act 4, Scenes 1-2).png) Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies Only a day later, the weekend has already arrived. I drop a heavy stack of books on the librarian's desk, not meaning to slam them, but they weigh so much that it happens anyway. .png) Yuuko bolts out of her chair with enough force to dislodge her glasses. She barely holds on to them.  YUUKO: "Oh, hi."  HISAO: "Sorry. I'm here to return all those books I was supposed to." YUUKO: "That's great, but I wish you had brought them back sooner. It wouldn't be a problem if the library had more copies of everything, but it doesn't... and they act like that's my fault." HISAO: "“They?”" YUUKO: "Other students. They can be... um, pretty pushy." HISAO: "Sorry. It just kind of slipped my mind. It's been a pretty rough couple of days." YUUKO: "Oh... Um, I suppose you don't want to talk about it..." Yuuko meekly turns to the task of logging all the books I've brought back as returned, treating them with extreme care and precision, like she's a bomb disposal technician rather than a librarian. Over the past couple of days, I've been thinking about something Misha said. Of course, I'd thought about everything she said, but one thing in particular keeps coming back. She talked about how she didn't want to miss people or think about being apart from them any more. When I recalled those words, they stopped me cold, like a sharp slap across the cheek. In just a few months, we'll be graduating. Misha and Shizune were nearly inseparable, but after graduation, they might never see each other again. I wonder if that thought is what started all of this. If Misha were to try and talk to Shizune about it, Shizune likely wouldn't think about it at all. It would sadden her, and for that reason, she would try and toss it away. For someone like Shizune, who is so quick to suppress her worries, it would be easy. Misha turned out to be more sensitive than she seemed. It would have crushed her, even more so because Shizune's reaction could come off as pretty cold. I don't know if that's how Shizune handled it, but it seems likely, and I can understand why she would act that way. I can also understand why Misha would be troubled by the thought of drifting away from someone who is such an important part of her. I'd never thought about graduation until that moment. Then I began to think things like, “Has it really only been less than a year?” I started thinking of everyone I've met. Not only Shizune and Misha, but everyone else. They were fond thoughts. Then, I thought of losing them. Suddenly, I could understand Misha's anxieties. It could be nice to talk to someone about it. HISAO: "Actually, I kind of want to." YUUKO: "With whom?" I can sense an obvious tinge of apprehension in her voice. HISAO: "With you." YUUKO: "Ah... Really? Are you sure? W-why me?" HISAO: "Because you're an adult." YUUKO: "That's it? Ahhhh... that's..." Wincing, she fidgets a little in her seat, trying to get comfortable in a pretty uncomfortable-looking way. I guess this means she's okay with it. HISAO: "Is it hard, being an adult?" YUUKO: "Yes. I don't think I'm that old, though... It's surprising that students now, l-like Shizune and you, wear stuff like perfumes or cologne... I never did. I still don't use them... Um, by the way, you're not wearing your grape cologne today." HISAO: "Yeah, it wasn't working out for me." YUUKO: "Oh, that's good. I thought the same thing... Sorry." Yuuko looks genuinely sorry, and I feel a pang of guilt. I smile, despite myself. A tiny lie like that can come back to bite me in the butt. For Misha, trying to conceal how she felt in order to put on a happy face for Shizune for so long must have been crushing. HISAO: "Someone I know brought up that we're going to be graduating, and I realized that I've never thought about it before. I feel stupid that I could go so long and never think about these things. I've met a lot of great people, and I've never thought about what it's going to be like to graduate and maybe never see them again." YUUKO: "There are still ways you could keep in touch..." HISAO: "Yeah, I guess. I feel childish. I know everyone is going through the same thing, probably. I bet you hear this kind of problem a lot." YUUKO: "N-no... I haven't been working here that long... I worried about the same thing when I graduated from high school. Um, I didn't go to school here, though. I also miss my friends... and I wish I had kept in touch with them better. I should have tried harder." Yuuko isn't really helping me feel better, and she clams up quickly when she sees it on my face. HISAO: "I don't want to look back and have those same regrets. I wonder if Shizune even thinks about that kind of stuff. Because she goes on sometimes, about how she doesn't want to live with any regrets." YUUKO: "Wow... That sounds impossible, to me..." I nod, only halfway wanting to agree. YUUKO: "Even so... I think that is kind of admirable, too... Kind of brave. Don't you think so?" HISAO: "“Brave” is a new way to put it." Yuuko shakes her head insistently. YUUKO: "It's true, though. And also kind of intimidating..." HISAO: "Geez. You shouldn't be intimidated by high schoolers." YUUKO: "I'll try..." She turns away to start folding a sticky note over and over. Pretty idle behavior for a university student, but more importantly, I wonder if I said the wrong thing to her. Being around Shizune for so long, I can't stop reading as much as I can into every moment of silence. If Yuuko were the type of person who didn't get intimidated by high schoolers, it probably wouldn't be so easy to talk to her. It's all too easy to want to shed some negative quality of yours. When I think of everyone I know, it's those qualities that I like the best. YUUKO: "Um... I don't think I really regret it. I thought, as long as I could remember the good times, that was enough. I don't know. ...Sorry." I notice a couple students starting to trickle into the library, and decide that my time is up. HISAO: "No, that was helpful. I feel like two of my friends are fighting because one of them is taking the fact that we might not see each other again after we graduate really hard. And the other is probably being stoic about it, which only makes it worse. I don't get how I'm supposed to handle this kind of situation. It doesn't seem like the kind of problem where I'll have to end up taking a side, but it could turn out that way, and then I have no idea what I'm going to do." YUUKO: "You should tell them they shouldn't fight." HISAO: "I know. Fighting is bad. It's not Shizune and Misha, by the way." YUUKO: "Okay... Um, I wasn't really thinking that, though..." How embarrassing. Even though I knew it would be, I still feel my cheeks redden, and even so, I still said something so transparent and blatantly a lie. But it could be that sometimes that is the right way." HISAO: "Do you have any books about people who have to make hard decisions? YUUKO: "We have a lot of self-help books..." It's funny that I can find that surprising, because I wouldn't have only a few months ago. HISAO: "I meant “about,” not “for.” There aren't many, right?" YUUKO: "Yes. Um, not many, I mean." (Silence Though I feel a bit apprehensive about it, I want to talk to Shizune. I don't understand why I feel nervous about it, and that disgusts me a little. It also motivates me to look for her, right then and there, although I don't have to look very hard. She's in the student council room, as always. Katawa Shoujo OST - Stride .png) Worryingly, Misha isn't with her. When Shizune notices me and looks up from her paperwork, the first thing I ask is where she is.  SHIZUNE: “[I don't know.]" There is so much uncertainty in her answer that I can't let it go just like that. HISAO: “[She's missing a lot of school.]" SHIZUNE: “[Are you the attendance police?]" HISAO: “[That's really strange, coming from the Student Council president.]" Shizune hides a laugh behind a cupped hand, and I start to think that I might be worrying for nothing, but then her laughter slowly fades away to a more serious and pensive expression. SHIZUNE: “[You're right. Yesterday,]" I catch the hint of a knowing smile on her face when she sees my poorly-hidden panic at the word. Despite her best efforts, she can't help being satisfied in eliciting surprise from everyone else, to the very end. Even then, I can see that she has bigger concerns from how quickly her smile vanishes. SHIZUNE: “[...before either of you noticed me, I saw what you were saying. I'm not stupid. If I hadn't, I could still see through Misha while we were walking back. Even if she hadn't told me everything later. She didn't make a big deal out of it, but any way you look at it, it's my fault, isn't it?]" HISAO: “[What did she tell you?]" Shizune winces at the question, though it's clear she's been expecting it. She follows it up with a very grand gesture. SHIZUNE: “[A lot. Like, that I can be selfish, and confusing. I try too hard to bring people around me, and then push them away. I didn't know what I should do. I thought she was right to mention all of those things, so I just agreed with her, but that only made things worse. I don't understand.]" Adjusting her glasses, she looks pretty tired. I hope it isn't because she's been busy avoiding Misha, but I can't help considering the possibility, seeing where this conversation is going. SHIZUNE: “[It's true. Even the Student Council being this small, and us always being swamped with work, is my fault. I might have even ended up driving a lot of people off, and away from the Student Council, acting like that.]" Shizune wags a finger mischievously, acknowledging that “might” is an understatement. However, from how wearily she does it, it's obvious the humor is only to put me at ease, and therefore not genuine. .png) SHIZUNE: “[Like Lilly, for instance. She was the first person to join when I started trying to recruit people again after everyone else left, because they couldn't stand me, I guess. We managed to put together the last festival, and even ran a booth together at the last minute. But I didn't like her because I thought she was selfish, always holding us up in order to tend to one friend of hers or another, and leaving Misha and I alone to sort out things involving the whole school by ourselves. If there were any problem she was going through, she would leave us high and dry while she panicked over it, and wouldn't come back until it was solved. She would focus on it one hundred percent, and be too preoccupied to focus on any student council work! That was the worst, to me, that she could be so nice and still take so many people for granted. Why even join the Student Council, then? It seemed so shortsighted and selfish, don't you think? But, it's actually me who's that way. Like Misha said, always trying to pull people close to me and then shutting them out. That is how I've treated her, which makes me a bad friend. And it feels like I did the same thing to you, then, so I guess I'm a bad girlfriend, too, even if Misha says that you might as well replace her. I'm angry that I screwed things up enough for it to get this out of hand. All I wanted was to...]" (Silence) She pauses to look for the right words, tenting her fingers in concentration. SHIZUNE: “[Make people happy, I think. Even though that seems like a simple way to put it.]" As she rests her head against her hand, Shizune's bangs fall delicately across her eyes, hidden behind those polished glasses reflecting just the tiniest bit of light. It may be wrong to think so, but right now, she seems especially beautiful. Like a more complete person. It feels like this is my first chance to respond to her outpouring of emotions. Replacing Misha as Shizune's interpreter? Misha must be joking. It took all my energy to keep up with her just now, her signing filled with gestures that I've never seen before. Likely, they're habits picked up from Misha, and developed from years of them being together. I could never replace someone so close to her. HISAO: “[I like you because I like you, not because I got tricked into it by you." Despite how hard she tried, anyway. I continue to stare back into her eyes, as sharp as ever. The first time I saw them, they had seemed a bit intimidating to me. Like the eyes of a predator. That hasn't changed, which I find reassuring. SHIZUNE: “[I still want to make everyone happy.]" HISAO: “[Starting with Misha?]" Katawa Shoujo OST - The Student Council (Shizune’s Theme) Shizune looks a bit annoyed that I would imply she would start with anyone else, and smiles confidently, as though a friend's sadness is a physical opponent she can just strangle into submission. SHIZUNE: “[Of course; obviously; naturally.]" .png) Taking off her glasses, she leans back in her chair and lets out a sigh. It's the first time I've seen her without them on, but I don't get a good look before she slips them back on. SHIZUNE: “[But, I'm too tired to start today. First thing tomorrow. Do you want to help?]" HISAO: “[Yeah.]" SHIZUNE: “[And... I have other student council stuff you could help me with, while you're at it.]" Although it turns out that there isn't much other work at all. Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time .png) (Silence) There's no school today, so I expected to be able to sleep in late. Unfortunately, I'm awakened by someone mercilessly pounding on my door at eight in the morning. At first, I think it could be Kenji, but when my shouts of annoyance go unanswered, I realize it's Shizune. Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies .png) She immediately backs away from the door when I open it, quickly concealing something behind her back. Kind of ominous. HISAO: “[What's that? Is it a surprise? I don't really like surprises.]" The displeased expression on her face says that she wants me to stop being such a wet blanket, but she's too busy fumbling with what's behind her back to sign it. It must be frustrating for her, because seconds later, she swings the object out, proudly, and also a little dangerously. .png) SHIZUNE: “[Ta-da. A picnic basket. We can have lunch together, the three of us.]" It's not really a basket, it looks more like a plastic bag. Taking a quick look inside, I can see that most of the food inside is also store-bought, not homemade. Some items still have the price stickers on. There's a very diverse selection here, though. Even a tiny tin of caviar. I'm slowly becoming more impressed with this lunch. I pick a grape out of there and pop it in my mouth. SHIZUNE: “[Don't just take things like that! I spent all night perfecting this final weapon.]" Shizune places it down on the ground to free up her hands, and immediately starts playfully tapping it between her feet like a soccer ball. Definitely not what you should do to anything you're going to call a “final weapon.” SHIZUNE: “[All part of my “get-Misha-to-stop-being-so-depressed” plan. I stayed up all last night working on it. When we tried to order in last time, Misha barely got anything, and used it as an excuse to leave early. I won't let her get off so easily this time. The food is already here. She'll have to sit down and eat with us. It's the perfect bait. Doesn't everything look irresistible? I tried to make it myself, but I don't know how to make it look all fancy, so I ended up buying everything. Still looks delicious, doesn't it? It should be.]" She's very perky today, juiced up on the thought of cheering Misha up. Although it's odd to see her so happy about it, I know that she's just as unsure now as she was yesterday. The only thing that has changed is that by viewing it as another sort of challenge for herself, she can put her worries aside and throw herself into it recklessly. It has worked well enough for Shizune so far. It wouldn't surprise me if it's the only way she knows how to live. HISAO: “[It's a little early, though...]" SHIZUNE: “[It's already eight in the morning, that's late! Even Misha gets up at eight or nine. She goes to bed at 7:00 p.m., but that isn't important.]" HISAO: “[It's very important.]" Shizune ignores me, gagging my hands by taking them in hers instead of a more proper rebuttal. The way she lingers against me a moment longer than expected feels really comforting. SHIZUNE: “[The point is, she's awake right now, walking around somewhere. Let's go find her.]" She sprints out the door impatiently, and her gusto as she drags me along looking for Misha makes me feel more like I'm following a hunter on a safari than looking for a mutual friend. We don't have to look very hard. Even cropped short, her pink hair stands out. The fact that she's just meandering around the grounds out in the open makes it even easier. Now I'm sounding like a safari hunter. SHIZUNE: "...!" HISAO: "Misha!" .png)  MISHA: "Huh~?" HISAO: "We were just looking for you." SHIZUNE: “[It's a good day for a picnic, you should join us. We even have caviar; not sturgeon, of course, but really tasty.]" MISHA: "Caviar? Surgeon?" Apparently finding it annoying to have to explain anything at length with only one hand, Shizune gives up quickly. SHIZUNE: “[Fish eggs.]" MISHA: "What?" SHIZUNE: “[It tastes good." MISHA: "Sorry, Shicchan, I think I'll pass for today." When Misha starts to walk away, Shizune holds the bag out towards me, needing me to take it so that her hands can be free. As soon as it's out of her hands, she darts in front of Misha, cutting her off. SHIZUNE: “[I made so much food, though." MISHA: "Sorry, I'm just not hungry right now." SHIZUNE: "... [When are you going to be hungry, then?]" MISHA: "Shicchan, that's impossible to know~." SHIZUNE: “[You can guess.]" The tension between them infuriates Shizune, and she's trying to deal with it by trying to tear through it. But that approach isn't going to work. I'd thought, and hoped, that Misha had gotten herself together, but I guess she was just cut too deep by what happened. In that case, it's really out of anyone's hands. I believe that Shizune might understand that, on some level. If she didn't, she wouldn't have any doubts at all. Because she can't speak, though, I've learned to notice her hesitation. It's very clear; she might as well be screaming. (Silence) Misha waves her hands in front of her, not wanting to continue the discussion any further, and quickly slips away. Shizune fumes silently, reluctant to let her go but having no way to keep her here. Misha's back grows smaller in the distance, I wonder where she's heading off to. Is Shizune wondering the same thing, as she bites her lip in frustration? I want to touch her reassuringly on the shoulder, but I stop myself, not knowing if it's the right thing to do. Not because she looks fragile, vulnerable, or sad. It's the opposite. After a while, her expression belies no emotion at all. Only contemplation. Suddenly, she whirls around. Katawa Shoujo OST - Raindrops and Puddles SHIZUNE: “[Now all this food is going to go to waste.]" HISAO: “[Yeah.]" SHIZUNE: “[That makes me mad.]" Although it's obvious Shizune is more hurt than mad. The bag dangling from my hand feels like it's filled with lead. SHIZUNE: “[Let's go on a date.]" HISAO: “[Let's use it, then.]" SHIZUNE: "... [Where do you want to go?]" HISAO: “[I don't know.]" SHIZUNE: “[The roof. It's my favorite spot.]" A wry smile appears on her face, disappearing just as quickly. .png) On the roof, I immediately crack open the caviar, ignoring a derisive look from Shizune all the while. I end up putting it down immediately. HISAO: “[Where are the toast points?]" SHIZUNE: “[I didn't make any. Like I told you, I bought everything.]" HISAO: “[Not toast points, though...]" SHIZUNE: “[Why is that important? Anyway, they don't sell just toast points. That would be stupid.]" HISAO: “[I bet they do.]" SHIZUNE: “[Maybe in stores for the exceptionally lazy, but not here. Why don't you use a tortilla chip?]" HISAO: “[A tortilla chip is not the same.]" SHIZUNE: “[They're both triangles. Stop being such a princess. I didn't know there was a proper way to eat caviar, this is the first I'm hearing of it.]" HISAO: “[It's not the same thing at all.]" I can't be decadent like this. And anyway, how can she not know? She lives in a huge mansion. Shizune takes the opportunity to scoop half the tin onto a single chip in the meantime. HISAO: “[Hey!]” I'm sure it doesn't even taste good like that. SHIZUNE: "..." There is too much food here for two people. Because we can't communicate with each other while we eat, both Shizune and I have a lot of time to sit in silence and think about the fact that Misha, the person she set all this up for, isn't here. SHIZUNE: “[It's annoying that she isn't here. I can't even enjoy my meal like this.]" I stare at the paper cup next to her, still half-full of juice. HISAO: “[I thought you didn't want all this food to go to waste.]” SHIZUNE: “[I wanted Misha to be here, too. That was the whole point. I wasn't able to accomplish what I wanted to, so it doesn't taste good. You should eat it. Eat more.]" HISAO: “[I want the fried things, though. You keep eating them all, even though you say they don't taste good.]" SHIZUNE: “[Fried things are always delicious. There is always an exception for them.]" HISAO: “[You'll get fat. I think you're being too aggressive.]" SHIZUNE: “[It's like I told you yesterday, I'm only trying to cheer her up.]" HISAO: “[Yeah, but it seems more like you're planning a military campaign.]" SHIZUNE: “[I'm only trying to take it seriously.]” .png) SHIZUNE: “[...And this is the only way I know how to do it seriously. I feel so powerless. I hate it. I can't even yell at her, too, even though I want to. Yelling is for serious occasions, right?]" HISAO: “[Yeah.]" SHIZUNE: “[You should yell at Misha for me. You can tell her that I want her to stop being so down. Even if she feels sad and alone, it's no reason to stay gloomy forever.]" HISAO: “[Why don't you?]" SHIZUNE: “[I already did. Over a game of dice. Under-Over, to be exact. I won! Five times!]" Only the two of them would take so much pride in winning games of pure chance. SHIZUNE: “[Then, I tried to talk to her, but it didn't go so well, obviously.]" HISAO: “[Well, so did I. I tried and failed.]" SHIZUNE: “[My goal has always been to do everything better, though.]" HISAO: “[Yeah, your one-upmanship is really something.]" SHIZUNE: “[But I failed too... That's why I want your help. I don't understand what I'm supposed to do any more.]" For someone like Shizune, who has only ever interacted with the world by locking horns with every obstacle in her path, understanding only goes so far. I want to tell her that she doesn't have to worry. That she is great at cheering people up, because she managed to cheer me up, my first week here. In retrospect, I must have looked like kind of a dick, being in such a sour mood from the moment I came here. Even though I don't think I was being unreasonable. Even having months to digest it, finding out that you have a heart defect like I did is hard to deal with. I'd had had much less time to mull over suddenly being transferred to Yamaku, on top of that. Spending the festival with Shizune really helped me out of a rut. I was happy, enough to forget that the entire time it had felt as though she were manipulating me. I understand now that I had allowed myself to be manipulated. Even though I felt like I was at the bottom of the world, I still wanted to have a normal life again, I'm sure, because I enjoy what I have now. I think it must be the same for everyone. Including Misha. Everyone wants someone there to pull them up, out of their self-pity. It's just that Misha always wanted Shizune to be that person, but because they can't be together, I think Misha feels that she can't accept Shizune's hand. And that frustrates Shizune. But if she could cheer up a stranger like me, then she'll die trying with Misha. I can see it in her eyes, too. Though she tries to treat it like any other problem in her life, Shizune cannot do that with Misha's depression. Her thought processes are entirely different, in some ways more careful, in some ways more reckless and frenetic. She cares that much more. I end up not saying anything. Partly because sitting next to her like this, just the two of us, is pleasant enough in itself that I don't want to interrupt the moment with a question. And partly for a more cowardly reason. I've started to think they weren't, but I don't know if her actions that day might not have been an afterthought, or even a fluke, just a collection of coincidences. I don't know if that would change anything, but I'm uncomfortable thinking about it. (Silence) The fence behind me trembles slightly, and I turn to see that it's because Shizune has fallen asleep leaning against it. Considering she was up all night, it's not surprising. Where does all that motivation come from? Not just in regards to Misha. I'm cynical, so it's hard for me to just accept that anyone can simply be that strong. My first thought was that maybe it's because she hates herself. It's very plausible. Leaning against her, I feel sad knowing that that might be the case. But it could be that we're similar in that we both want to be better people.
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Nov 12, 2021 15:40
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quote:YUUKO: "Yes. Um, not many, I mean." Oh come on that's like half of all fiction at least
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Nov 12, 2021 16:31
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The giant head anime art style makes the opening splash screen really weird to look at since both the kid and Shizune have the same head to body ratio. It's like she's some kind of giant.
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Nov 12, 2021 17:18
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Decoy Badger posted:The giant head anime art style makes the opening splash screen really weird to look at since both the kid and Shizune have the same head to body ratio. It's like she's some kind of giant. the kid is Shizune, isn't she? they have the same hair and facial features and the chapter is called "My Other Self". i have speculation as to what that's about, but ill keep it to myself for now.
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Nov 12, 2021 22:26
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I just discovered the first two updates had never been tweaked to include the text in the images. It’s been over six months 
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Nov 12, 2021 22:46
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Update 81: Parfait (Act 4, Scenes 3-4) Content warning: Shizune’s dad. At least he moves through quickly. Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time .png) Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight It seems like I ate too much yesterday, because I wake up in the morning feeling just nauseous enough for it to be a problem. I really can't postpone going into town for shopping, though. So despite wanting to roll over and sleep it away, I force myself to get up and dress instead. Somewhere between buying toothpaste and a few other groceries, I end up walking it off. Then, I feel hungry. After stopping for breakfast, it hits me how much time has gone by. I hadn't expected to be out this long at all. I'm not even sure if I bothered to lock my door. I should really get back. .png) When I get back to the dorm, I see Hideaki standing in front of my room from the entrance. I can think of few things more unexpected, and I can't help thinking I might have a heart attack just from the surprise. Fortunately, it doesn't happen. As soon as he sees me, he says hello in his usual detached way. I'm a little slow to reply to him, so he repeats the greeting, without missing a beat.  HIDEAKI: "Hello. Is something wrong?" HISAO: “I'm just surprised to see you here." Not as surprised as I could have been, since it's impossible to mistake him for anyone else. I'd recognize those weird clothes anywhere. Come to think of it, I've really surrounded myself with distinctive-looking people lately. Hideaki's head lolls slightly to one side, a little too easily. HIDEAKI: "Why? Is it unusual to see someone's family come to see them?" HISAO: "Well... yeah, actually." He visibly jerks. So, Hideaki isn't such a robot after all. In fact, it's almost as if he's more caught off guard by the fact he even can be caught off guard, but he recovers quickly. Nevertheless, in that brief moment, he looks his age. That uncomfortable side of his seems like the more honest, and I wouldn't mind seeing more of it. Not so much, though, that I'd go out of my way to pry. Only Shizune would be that zealous. That my thoughts get so far is proof she is rubbing off on me. HISAO: “I'd think that you'd have a reason, that's all." HIDEAKI: "There is one." HISAO: "See? Anyway, we can talk while we're looking for her. That's why you're here, right?" HIDEAKI: "Shizune is in the student council room. I was looking for you. We might take a trip soon, a family trip. Do you think she would want to come with us?" HISAO: "Yeah, I don't know. She's kind of been on the warpath lately, with a lot of stuff. And once she's focused on something, she won't just drop it. ...I guess you would know that." HIDEAKI: "Mm." .png) Hideaki looks much more at ease walking around than I did my first week. HISAO: "So, this isn't your first time here?" Just throwing it out there. Of course, completely ignoring the surrounding environment could just run in the family. It'd explain why Hideaki seems so distant from Shizune. I get the feeling there's more to it than just her deafness. HIDEAKI: "No, but this is the first time I could walk around so much. It is kind of weird here. I bumped into a person who told me women are not allowed in the dorms. After I told him I am not a woman, he told me I was misleading, and then accused me of being an assassin. I was warned that he was not only invincible, but strong enough to probably destroy the building with a punch, or at least knock over the painting hanging in the hallway. By the way, that painting is actually screwed to the wall." HISAO: "Yeah, that's the guy across the hall from me. He's okay." HIDEAKI: “I see. Oh, you left your door open. It was unlocked when I came here." I'm a little annoyed that Hideaki knows that. The only way he could is if he had opened my door. But the feeling passes. HISAO: “It doesn't matter. I have nothing to hide, or steal." HIDEAKI: "Your soccer ball is really nice." HISAO: "That's one of the things that doesn't matter." HIDEAKI: “If you are a soccer player, a soccer ball is very important." I guess it is. The thought makes me smile. .png) HIDEAKI: “I'm here because my father bought a new phone, and he wanted to update Shizune, in case she needs to call him. I thought that you should know, too, since you're her boyfriend, aren't you?" HISAO: "Yeah... ...Why?" HIDEAKI: "Just in case there is something wrong, or she needs anything." It isn't what I meant, but I'll go along. HISAO: "Even if she did, she probably wouldn't call." HIDEAKI: "That is how she is." HISAO: "Well, if you know... Coming all the way here for that, though? He could have updated her via e-mail." HIDEAKI: "He does not like using e-mails." HISAO: "That's so old-fashioned. Don't tell me he still does business through regular mail, or something." (Silence) Silence. Now it's my turn to feel awkward. Is Hideaki taking it literally, or did I hit the mark? Nah. I'm sure that what it really comes down to is that he does want to see his daughter and stay in contact with her. In the end, they are still family, after all. Even though they play at being at each other's throats. Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies .png) The door to the student council room is open, and Hideaki and I walk in on Jigoro in mid-rant. He sees us, but decides that it's not something worth stopping rambling at Shizune over. This is really shaking my faith in my previous assumption.  JIGORO: "When I was in the Student Council, our room was smaller. Colder, too. Like working out of a meat locker. Not like you spoiled kids. What a waste. Sitting here in your giant room, doing nothing." SHIZUNE: "..." JIGORO: "Aren't there only three of you? That makes having so many desks only seem like an unnecessary display of mindless decadence. Appalling. You must use the desks you need, and not one more. It is part of my code." It may be odd of me to think so, but... hearing only one half of a conversation is pretty strange. Also, that's some code. Now that I've arrived, he changes the subject, and starts talking about the reason he's here. JIGORO: "Hideaki and I are going on a trip." SHIZUNE: "..." JIGORO: "What are you doing? Does everyone who uses sign language mumble while they do it?" HISAO: "No, but I'm just an amateur. It helps me think. It's kind of like force of habit." JIGORO: "Just an amateur... unbelievable... Fine." He turns back to Shizune just in time to catch her shaking her head from side to side. JIGORO: "Are you sure you won't be coming along?" She reiterates the gesture. JIGORO: "Fine. Can you tell her to call me if she needs anything?" HISAO: "Yes. I really think sending an e-mail would have been easier, though." JIGORO: 'm not going to read e-mails on my phone. If she won't speak, she can call Hideaki. I suppose if I have to be reached, you would have to call me, or that other girl would have to call me. ...Hmph. Actually, all three of you can just call Hideaki." (Silence) And with that, he swiftly turns and leaves, Hideaki trailing behind him. A long trip, for something that took five minutes. Neither of them can express their feelings very well. In Shizune's case, I have to question whether she would if she could. It explains a lot, but she doesn't seem unhappy with the arrangement. Even so, I wonder if she might be. When the door closes behind them, leaving Shizune and I by ourselves, she lets out a deep breath that seems to echo in the silence of the room. Katawa Shoujo OST - School Days .png) SHIZUNE: “[It's totally ridiculous asking me to go on a trip. The timing couldn't be worse, it overlaps the student council elections, for one. Second, I haven't even cheered up Misha. If you consider that, it's annoying to even have anything else to think about.]" HISAO: “[Yeah, but you might be too focused on all of that stuff right now.]" Shizune adjusts her glasses roughly. SHIZUNE: “[Completely, one hundred percent right. The minute I decided I was going to cheer up Misha, everything else went on the back burner, I suppose.]" HISAO: “[I think your dad might care about you more than he lets on.]" SHIZUNE: “[I know.]" HISAO: “[So, then, it could be a good idea—]" SHIZUNE: “[No.]" And then again, more firmly, as if for both of us. SHIZUNE: “[No. After coming this far, I can't take a break. A vacation would be jarring. It would be like waking up in a different life. Yesterday was like my vacation. So now we have to go all-in. I'm sorry, but it's just how I am." I remember what Yuuko said, that she found Shizune brave, in a kind of way. I think I understand what she meant, and I have to agree. Even though it could also be called recklessness, and foolishness, and pointless stubbornness, I guess you could call it “bravery” too. However, I can see that there is a fundamental flaw in Shizune's thinking that I hadn't noticed until now. I'm sure that Shizune has reflected longer, and more arduously than I could, about where she messed up to create such a bad situation between her and Misha. However, as typical for her, she wouldn't let it hold her back and immediately set out to fix the problem. This completely ignores a large part of the problem: Misha herself. Moving from critical introspection to holding Misha up as part of a goal causes the person to get lost in the shuffle. Shizune has “said” a lot in the past few days, but nothing about how Misha feels. Shizune's way of thinking is abnormal. Few normal people would reject a friend, and then expect things to go back to the way they were so easily. Shizune does, because she sees life as, if I had to put it simply, capable of being segmented and compartmentalized. Misha, like anyone else, sees it as a whole experience. A long, continuous journey, where one moment of heartache can follow you forever. For Shizune, an event is an event, and few of them cross over. Life is compartmentalized around triumphs, failures, and decisions, where each one stands as its own story. It's why the thought of a vacation is jarring to her. It's why she can only appreciate people's immediate emotions. It's exactly how someone obsessed with living in the moment would think, really. Likewise, Shizune can see Misha as a friend, but I doubt that she has ever thought of Misha as anything more until recently. Or questioned anything about her. “Misha is Misha” would be enough for her, even if to Misha it must be unbelievably stifling. Shizune is just Shizune to herself. It's likely she doesn't even think about the aftereffects of her actions in the long term, as long as they stir up other people's lives. To Misha, though, I'm sure it made her seem almost heroic. Like Yuuko admiring her bravery, and even myself. And Shizune's thoughts on that sentiment are that it was good she could touch someone's life. But it ends there. It's easy to captivate; much harder to nurture. On to the next thing. Thinking of life in terms of almost completely isolated events has a tendency to isolate a person, too. Though she's trying to remedy it now, the point remains: There is simply no way Shizune could have avoided hurting Misha. Her emotional investment in Shizune was something Shizune couldn't account for, so she didn't. Combined with her personality, it was inevitable. Both of them have pretty much told me all of that in bits and pieces over the past couple months I've known them. In the middle of considering their differences, an idea begins to take shape in my mind. HISAO: “[Are you working on your plan right now? This second? Your cheer-up-Misha plan.]" SHIZUNE: “[Of course. I was thinking about it the whole time I was being yelled at.]" Flicking her glasses up the bridge of her nose with an oddly triumphant air, she taps her finger against her temple. SHIZUNE: “[It's multitasking!]" (Silence) Really? Isn't it more like you're able to concentrate on something like that because you can't hear? Well, whatever. When I ask her what she thinks of mine, it turns out we've both arrived at a similar idea. Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time .png) Katawa Shoujo OST - Stride Although it makes me feel kind of uneasy, since we're talking about a human being, the first step is to corner Misha. Oh, NOW you care. Though the situation is a little too much like something out of a cop drama for me, it's come to this because talking to her normally is proving to be near impossible. But we do have classes together. Even the very first class of the day. .png) Although it takes a while for the announcement to come, the second that I hear we're going to be working in groups today, Shizune and I try to make sure Misha is in ours. HISAO: "You know, I think Mutou assigns a suspiciously large amount of group work and self-study, don't you think so?" MISHA: "Hm~, but it's easy, so it's ok, right~?" HISAO: "Yeah? There's other stuff that I've been thinking about lately, that might not be okay, though." Misha nods after each sentence, then brushes it all aside. MISHA: thought about it, and~... I don't do enough work when I work with you and Shicchan! So, I'm going to try harder today. So~!, don't distract me, Hicchan~. I have to stay focused~." That was an annoyingly transparent dodge. Shizune doesn't look too happy either, since Misha didn't bother to sign any of it, opting to twirl a pen in her hands instead. From the shaky way she was doing it, I'm sure it was so she wouldn't sign anything inadvertently. From the way Misha looks, distracted and uneasy, I doubt it's because she wants to keep Shizune out of the loop for any malicious reason. Although, it's still obviously a way of distancing Shizune from herself. HISAO: "Shizune wants to talk to you." MISHA: "... Can't it wait until later, Hicchan?" SHIZUNE: “[No.]" HISAO: "Why not now?" MISHA: "We're in the middle of class~..." Now she's spinning a pen in each hand. I'm beginning to think her signing has turned into a kind of nervous tic for her. This isn't a good replacement, although the sight of her dual wielding is pretty impressive. HISAO: "After class, then." After class, I don't waste a second bringing it back up. As everyone else files out of the classroom, leaving the three of us alone, Misha takes increasingly longer glances in every direction except forward. HISAO: "Do you want to get something to eat?" MISHA: "Why do you and Shicchan keep asking me if I want to eat something~? ~Hicchan?" HISAO: "Because we're all headed to the cafeteria, and we haven't eaten together in a long time. So, why not?" MISHA: “Is this about the Student Council?" SHIZUNE: "..." Taking Shizune's lack of a reply as admission, Misha sighs. MISHA: "Shicchan, is that all you ever think about?" Before Shizune can reply, she leaves. I have to say, I'm not left feeling very confident after what's just happened. Neither of us were expecting it to go smoothly, but it would have been nice. Reading my mind, Shizune curls a finger around her glasses for awhile before signing. SHIZUNE: “[I know what you're thinking, but no, it's not that I think we should give her some space now. I told you I wouldn't give up so easily.]" HISAO: “[Yeah, well, now I'm starting to wonder if it's not too soon.]" SHIZUNE: “[Cold feet? Well, I'm not going to. That would be giving up on her. There's a fine line between helping someone and smothering them. But I just want Misha to pull herself together and stop acting so weird. I know she can do it. Even if she wants to try, people don't change overnight. If they could, the world would be a much easier place.]" HISAO: “[Okay, you win. Then I guess this is the part where we split up and look for her.]" Though I'm the only one who is really supposed to find her. Katawa Shoujo OST - Afternoon SHIZUNE: “[If I run into her first, I'll call your cell phone." Smiling, Shizune takes out her cell phone, turning it on to prepare. I notice that she has an extremely high number of unread messages, and looking at her expression, so does she. Twirling it around by the strap a couple of times, she grimaces. SHIZUNE: “[I don't like using this thing. Why can't I just snap my fingers?]" HISAO: “[And then what? I'm not a dog. And it doesn't travel as far as a phone signal. You're having a lot of fun with this, aren't you?]" Shaking her head from side to side, she continues. SHIZUNE: “[It's obvious where she will go. You can't look for her on the school grounds, she would want to go as far away as she can. Check the tea shop? It's usually empty this early; Misha loves to go there if she feels like skipping class, and she loves the parfaits they have there." “You really know a lot about her.” But she would overthink it, and turn it into something that would seem a lot more backhanded than it actually is, so I choose to just nod and leave instead, until I feel her holding on to my sleeve. HISAO: "What?" I say instinctively, forgetting that she can't hear me. SHIZUNE: “[It feels nice that I don't have to do it all by myself any more, because I can trust you. I'm really happy.]" It makes me happy to hear it. I can't think of a way to respond, and end up only nodding again. .png) Heading outside, I catch a glimpse of pink hair behind some other girl's head, and as I head that way, I realize that this isn't the way you go if you want to leave school. It's the way to the student council room. If I wanted to avoid Shizune, I wouldn't head there. It's strange that Misha would be going in that direction, then. Maybe she wants to talk things over with Shizune. In which case, I have to wonder if letting things play out naturally would be such a bad idea after all, especially if it seems to be going in a good direction. Suddenly, Misha stops and spins around, catching me by surprise. .png) MISHA: "Surprise~, Hicchan~! Were you looking for me? I had a feeling~!" I was going to say “Hey, I was just looking for you”, but I suppose that's no good now. She isn't even finished with her sentence before she blows past me, heading for the exit. I have to admit that Misha is infuriatingly sharper than I'd expected. Also, surprisingly fast. Although it's more physical activity than I think I should be getting, I manage to catch up with her halfway to the gate. HISAO: "You're really being the rudest woman in the world right now. Can you just stop trying to run away for one second? I want to talk to you." .png) Misha turns on her heel, looking mildly amused, and raises her hands as if to tell me to go on. Now that I've got her attention, though, it's hard to think of the right thing to say. HISAO: "Where are you going now?" MISHA: "The Shanghai~." HISAO: "Can I go with you, then?" Waiting for her to answer feels like an eternity. It's almost as if I can hear my wristwatch ticking off the individual seconds. MISHA: "Okay, then, Hicchan." (Silence) I get the sense that she only agreed because she doesn't want to argue any more today. .png) When we get there, a couple comes in after us, causing Misha to jump slightly at the noise. Seeing that it isn't Shizune, she relaxes again, smiling almost as usual to order a parfait from Yuuko, and sliding into the nearest booth. HISAO: "You ran off too fast. You could have at least waited to see what she was going to say." Misha's angry reaction tells me it could be that she was afraid of what Shizune might say. MISHA: "Why are you both doing this, Hicchan?" HISAO: "Because Shizune still wants to be your friend. I guess that for her it's kinda like launching a nuclear missile from a submarine, you need two keys to do it." MISHA: "..." HISAO: "What else can she do, though?" She isn't automatically signing whatever she hears or says any more, and I'm sure that is the reason Shizune's been having so much trouble with her. HISAO: “If she tried to just talk it over, you wouldn't listen." Misha's guilty expression tells me I've hit the mark. Katawa Shoujo OST - Nocturne HISAO: "Do you really hate Shizune that much?" MISHA: "No, Hicchan. I told you that." She answers without even flinching, idly playing with a spoon. HISAO: "Yeah, I know. I'm sure she knows it too, but I wonder if it might be easier if you did. The only thing she's really thought about for the last week is how to make you happy. Since Shizune is still attached to you. Yesterday, though, she thought that maybe it would be easiest for you if you just hated her. Since you didn't tell her you hate her, Shizune thinks that you can both still be friends. She's like that, only thinking in extremes." Her parfait is starting to melt, the ingredients coming together in tiny rivers that remind me of the growing roots of a tree being shown through time-lapse photography. MISHA: "That's stupid. Shicchan isn't that stupid, Hicchan. Don't be ridiculous~." HISAO: “It's got nothing to do with intelligence. Smart people can do stupid things. And anyway, isn't it true? I was terrified last week when we talked, but at the end, I was relieved because it sounded like things might go back to normal. I wasn't expecting you two to have a fight right after." MISHA: “It wasn't a fight, Hicchan. It was just me yelling at her." I've noticed that Misha's voice never really changes in tone, just volume. It's so low with guilt that I can hardly believe it came from her. HISAO: "Either way, I was happy, because I thought you and her could still be friends. Since she needs you." MISHA: "Hm~. No she doesn't, Hicchan." HISAO: "So? How do you know that? There's a lot of things Shizune doesn't..." Vocalize? Say? Talk about? I'm afraid if I say the wrong thing, it'll ruin the mood. I get to finally have a conversation with her and don't want to screw it up. I wonder if this is the first time she's had an honest conversation with me. HISAO: "Just because she didn't tell you doesn't mean she doesn't like you." MISHA: "That doesn't make sense..." HISAO: "Yes, it does. Otherwise, she would argue back." MISHA: "Wahaha~." HISAO: "You don't think so? She picks fights with everyone, so why not you? Obviously, because you're her friend, and she values you. And Shizune is hurt, too. She's just awful at showing her feelings. Usually does it the wrong way, too. But she still likes you." MISHA: "Hicchan, do you remember when I said I didn't want to hate Shicchan, or upset her? The truth is~, I ended up doing both. Now it's like there's, like, an awkwardness between us. It's hard to explain." HISAO: "Both of you are so stubborn. You were talking about how you didn't want to drift apart from Shizune, but then you're going to let it happen. And Shizune is just as bad. She wants to be your friend, but respects you too much to be as aggressive as she'd be with anyone else." And I'm sure that Misha interprets Shizune giving her space as a lack of caring. MISHA: “I screwed up already, Hicchan. It'll happen again~, I'm sure. When I think about it that way, I don't know what I'm supposed to do. It feels like either way, I'll end up making things worse. Then, it might be better if I didn't do anything at all, right~?" HISAO: "Don't be ridiculous. Why would you even think that way in the first place? Be more positive." t should be easy for you,” I want to say, but that would be presumptuous. MISHA: "Hicchan~, I never knew you were so optimistic. I never expected it." HISAO: "..." MISHA: "You always act so gloomy when I try and surprise you." HISAO: "No, this is a recent thing. Really. I just hate it when people give up easily now." MISHA: "Haha~. “Now,” huh~...?" HISAO: “It makes me mad when people give up. I used to think that giving up was kind of like running away, since that's how people always describe it, but now that I think about it, it's usually more like throwing something away. When you run away from something, you can think of it as still being there. So, I was in the hospital, and I didn't just want to run away from my problems, I wanted to never think about them again." Misha eats a spoonful of her gray ice cream goo. Did she only just remember it was there now, or could it be she likes it that way? HISAO: "Anyway, my point is, you can't do that. People are too sentimental to just throw their memories out like that. It's impossible. Shizune can't think of life in terms of anything but winning and losing; don't you think she wishes she didn't have to remember the parts where she loses? You can't pick and choose, though. That's like wanting to live in a bubble. The worst part is, your way of thinking is so wasteful. It's making you so pessimistic you're afraid of everything. Come on." (Silence) I grab her hand as I wave Yuuko over with the other to pay for our food. MISHA: "Where are we going now?" HISAO: "Back to school before lunch is over, but I want to check out a few places before then." Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 16:28 on Nov 15, 2021 |
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Nov 15, 2021 15:00
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I don't know what the letter "I" did to you but you appear to have kicked it out of the update and told it to start a solo band from the number of lines that start with "t".
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Nov 15, 2021 15:17
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yeah, there's a bunch of open quotes and Is missing from the transcript. at least Shizune and Hideaki don't take after Jigoro. Shizune is forceful like he is, but she's not up her own rear end about it, and Hideaki just does his own thing and i love him for it. quote:And then again, more firmly, as if for both of us. ASL speakers, how would one emphasize a word in sign? do you just sign more forcefully, or is there more to it than that?
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Nov 15, 2021 15:22
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Missing "I"s on the start of a bunch of lines. I don't have a keyboard right now, otherwise I would point them out directly. Beaten.
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Nov 15, 2021 15:37
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Chloe Jessica posted:ASL speakers, how would one emphasize a word in sign? do you just sign more forcefully, or is there more to it than that? From the media I've seen, and anyone with actual knowledge feel free to correct or confirm, it is basically just more forcefully. The ASL equivalent of yelling is only academically distinct from throwing hands at a person.
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Nov 15, 2021 15:54
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 I really hope that was a problem in the transcript rather than something that hosed up on my end. I'd have to fix the VBA script, and between the debugging process and how it constantly reopens the VBA window until I close word, I'm not looking forward to that. E: ZevGun, I wanted to include one of your posts but I'm not sure I asked for your permission. Did I? DoubleE: Would anyone be willing to type up why you do or don't like how I put the text in screenshots under the screenshots? The accessibility disability corner is up next and I'd like to work that commentary in. Falconier111 fucked around with this message at 17:05 on Nov 15, 2021 |
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Nov 15, 2021 16:26
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Goddamn it. Shizune, Hisao, give Misha some goddamn space and stop badgering her.Falconier111 posted:HISAO: “[I think your dad might care about you more than he lets on.]" Ugh. This is really not a good thing to say to someone in an abusive situation. This is very much in the "intentions aren't magic" space: it really doesn't matter what the abuser intends or thinks their actions mean, that doesn't change the effect they have on their victim. This is a really good way to signal to someone that you're not a safe person for them to talk to about their abuse, because you might accept the abuser's narrative. (This isn't quite gaslighting, but if the abuser is already encouraging them to doubt their own perceptions, the last thing they need is for their friends to reinforce those doubts.) It's also not telling them anything they haven't already heard before. (Although once again, I'm not sure how seriously to take this in the context of the whole story, because I'm getting the impression the writer is playing Jigoro for silly laughs more than actually engaging with his behaviour and the effect it would have on the people around him...)
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Nov 15, 2021 17:05
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Explopyro posted:Goddamn it. Shizune, Hisao, give Misha some goddamn space and stop badgering her. Maybe it's just me, but I'm getting the impression that they might be under a time-limit of some sort. I'm not entirely sure when the elections are held in Japan for the student council, but I assumed that it's coming pretty close to the end of the year. After they all graduate, it's entirely possible they could lose contact with Misha entirely. If that happens, the odds of her and Shizune's relationship being repaired just vanish. So that may be having an affect on Hisao and Shizune's actions, about as much as Shizune's personality even. But that's just my interpretation and it could be completely wrong.
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Nov 15, 2021 17:27
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Falconier111 posted:DoubleE: Would anyone be willing to type up why you do or don't like how I put the text in screenshots under the screenshots? The accessibility disability corner is up next and I'd like to work that commentary in. So, not a person reliant on screen readers, just a guy. You have permission to include this post in any reposting or reporting about this LP. I am a big fan of the duplication of text for a couple of reasons. The simplest explanation is that the scaling of the text inside the image does not play well with every device I use, to the extent that on mobile I just don't read text in images in people's SSLPs. It's just not worth it, if I miss some text I miss the text and I'll struggle less trying to figure it out from context clues than trying to get the image readable. Second, from a pure flow perspective. Switching between reading plain text (in the font that I have the rest of the forums in) and text inside an image is jarring. It takes reader attention off the content of the words and onto their typography. I'm a big nerd about that sort of thing and I will swoon over even pretty amateur gimmicks with fonts and colors, but I also know that in an LP that isn't an element of artistic intent it is an artifact of translation, which means that some of my reading attention is going from the content of the words and just down a drain. Third, functionality. The plain text is both copyable and searchable. I can't say the same about the images. So in summary: I prefer the text out of images formatting because I end up reading more of the words, the words are presented in a more aesthetically pleasing manner on the level of the whole update, and my ability to interact with the words for secondary functions is improved. e: If anybody is wondering why I felt like it was worthwhile to have an abled person comment on this, I do think my opinion here highlights how thinking through accessibility can and does create things that are better for more people than might have been initially intended. Tulip fucked around with this message at 18:39 on Nov 15, 2021 |
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Nov 15, 2021 18:37
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Falconier111 posted:E: ZevGun, I wanted to include one of your posts but I'm not sure I asked for your permission. Did I? Not sure if you did or not, but go for it. Though could you please use Z in place of my username for anything off site? Also this is a blanket approval for any of my posts in this topic (with the same request for the letter Z elsewhere) I like the full text under the screenshot. I wrote up some stuff but upon previewing my reply Tulip's post came in and said what I was thinking more eloquently.
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Nov 15, 2021 18:57
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Falconier111 posted:DoubleE: Would anyone be willing to type up why you do or don't like how I put the text in screenshots under the screenshots? The accessibility disability corner is up next and I'd like to work that commentary in. I think the only thing I dislike, and this is a real nitpick, is the fact that Misha's character picture wasn't updated when she got her haircut. It just gives me a little jolt when my eyes move from short-haired Misha in a screenshot to her with her drills below. Again, it's a nitpick and a minor one at that. But I do think it messes a little with how the story goes, hearing about how Misha cut her hair and not having it updated when reading her lines below a screenshot.
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Nov 15, 2021 19:06
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Falconier111 posted:DoubleE: Would anyone be willing to type up why you do or don't like how I put the text in screenshots under the screenshots? The accessibility disability corner is up next and I'd like to work that commentary in. As an able person, my only peeve is that it's a little annoying for me to read the text in the image and then read it again in the text block following it. Other than that, any pros other people have (especially for screen readers users) way, way outweigh this particular con. Ideally this should be in the alt text of the image. Although now that I think about it, it's weird how a lot of accessibility (in the web at least) is kinda always... tucked away from the majority. Maybe if they were a little more prominent then it wouldn't feel like busywork implementing them in web pages. SimplyUnknown1 posted:I think the only thing I dislike, and this is a real nitpick, is the fact that Misha's character picture wasn't updated when she got her haircut. It just gives me a little jolt when my eyes move from short-haired Misha in a screenshot to her with her drills below. Again, it's a nitpick and a minor one at that. But I do think it messes a little with how the story goes, hearing about how Misha cut her hair and not having it updated when reading her lines below a screenshot. Also seconding this.
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Nov 15, 2021 22:37
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I guess I basically just want to second everything Tulip already said. I mostly browse on my phone, and having to read the text in images is either eye-straining or annoying to open up each image so I can zoom in. But it's so nice to have the images! So I'm very happy with the decision to include that text again in the text part of the updates. I especially agree with the bit about it illustrating how accessibility features can be helpful for everyone.
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Nov 15, 2021 22:44
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Falconier111 posted:DoubleE: Would anyone be willing to type up why you do or don't like how I put the text in screenshots under the screenshots? The accessibility disability corner is up next and I'd like to work that commentary in. I love that you do it. I admire that you put the thought and effort in to make this LP accessible, and appreciate that it's provided a tangible benefit for many other people. On a personal level, I also am grateful that it allows others to contribute to the thread so that I get to learn about their experiences. I wouldn't want you to change a thing. But, as an abled reader: honestly it's mildly annoying. I read the text in the images. It's not that I actually prefer text in the images, but it always jumps out at me first: it's a larger font, it's next to a colorful image so it stands out first, just force of habit from other LPs, etc. Most of the time it's totally fine, but it's very very slightly awkward when you've got really long lines from a single person that didn't fit entirely in that textbox, like this: Falconier111 posted:
Once I've read the text in the image, it takes me an extra second to figure out where I need to jump to in the full paragraph to resume reading. If the text wasn't duplicated, then I'd just keep on flowing down the screen. Or if there wasn't any text in the images, then I'd just read the script and be just fine. But the transition where I have to jump between the different options is a little awkward. Now, this is an extremely minor nitpick. But I actually think this reinforces the idea that implementing information in an accessible way can be better for everyone. The problem isn't that you've provided text instead of images, the problem is that you've provided multiple forms of the content in a way that's overwhelming. Rather than duplicating information in an accessible format, I wonder if you'd be better off just providing the accessible format as the main option: i.e., just turning the text off in the images. It seems like that might be the best of all worlds: fully accessible for the people who benefit from that, while losing the possibility to distract anyone with the big textboxes in the images. This doesn't work as a general principle in all cases of course: providing options is good! But it's also important to make sure that that the transition between different options is as seamless as possible. It also feels like have the accessible option as the default would help normalize it more, rather than treating it like a specific solution for people who have problems with text in the screenshots. Like I said, this is a very minor thing. I wouldn't have raised it if you hadn't asked. But since you did... (Also text on images is such a defining thing for visual novels that I wonder if it'd just look weird. Just spitballing here!)
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Nov 16, 2021 00:09
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