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I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
https://twitter.com/wimremes/status/1041039369484861440

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I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
https://mobile.twitter.com/GarrettPetersen/status/1460405362549407747

Samovar
Jun 4, 2011

I'm 😤 not a 🦸🏻‍♂️hero...🧜🏻



I Love Loosies posted:

These Forums are gay AND dead. Dead usually means sexually inactive

Spoken like a person who never heard of Jimmy Saville.

Antigravitas
Dec 8, 2019

Die Rettung fuer die Landwirte:


Five injured during a Fight Of The Ice Cream Vendors in Wuppertal

Wuppertal. Ice cream cart vendors attacked each other with iron bars and chains on Saturday in front of the Wuppertal zoo. The five men were no longer fit to be questioned after the heavy brawl in front of children.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


Ice cream is apparently serious business.
:gonk:

Sir Lemming
Jan 27, 2009

It's a piece of JUNK!

* Eh?

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


https://twitter.com/consequence/status/1460645918294822917

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Antigravitas posted:

Five injured during a Fight Of The Ice Cream Vendors in Wuppertal

wtf I thought that Wuppertal was Bielefeld with a suspended monorail.

You’re telling me that stuff actually happens there?

thepopmonster
Feb 18, 2014


SAVING THE SIX-NIPPLED BREED: Mr. [Alexander Graham] Bell's Last Contribution to Science, with An Introduction by Mrs. Bell

"The problem therefore at the very outset narrowed down to the problem of multiplying the number of nipples found on a sheep".

Firewalled, alas, but here's the first page: https://academic.oup.com/jhered/article-abstract/14/3/99/791411?redirectedFrom=PDF

(yes, I know it's not as weird as I made it sound, but that sentence made me do it)

Humbug Scoolbus
Apr 25, 2008

The scarlet letter was her passport into regions where other women dared not tread. Shame, Despair, Solitude! These had been her teachers, stern and wild ones, and they had made her strong, but taught her much amiss.
Clapping Larry

ultrafilter posted:

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favourite (or Request): I'm existing just for listing!!! > Weird News Headlines, Quotes, & Articles: the main thing is that there's no incest involved

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Antigravitas posted:



Five injured during a Fight Of The Ice Cream Vendors in Wuppertal

Wuppertal. Ice cream cart vendors attacked each other with iron bars and chains on Saturday in front of the Wuppertal zoo. The five men were no longer fit to be questioned after the heavy brawl in front of children.

I scream, you scream, we all scream for grievous bodily harm.

GWBBQ
Jan 2, 2005


Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



‘Creepy’ GOP lawmaker censured after AOC denounces him for tweeting anime video of her murder
:stare:

StillFullyTerrible
Feb 16, 2020

you should have left Let's Play open for public view, Lowtax

that's the same congressman whose family put out ads saying "Don't vote for this guy, we're his family and he's been a hosed up creep since he was a kid"

Cleretic
Feb 3, 2010


Ignore my posts!
I'm aggressively wrong about everything!

He retweeted someone else's reposting of the video minutes after being censured.

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



StillFullyTerrible posted:

that's the same congressman whose family put out ads saying "Don't vote for this guy, we're his family and he's been a hosed up creep since he was a kid"

lol and they voted for him anyway

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
https://twitter.com/MidTrojan/status/1461245579703595009

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS

Why does it seem like every picky eater on the planet lives on that island?

Is it a product of the nationwide awful cuisine?

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
https://twitter.com/BBCNews/status/1461278866325098497

bobjr
Oct 16, 2012

Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

https://twitter.com/antonjaegermm/status/1381906425090355201?s=21

Lobok
Jul 13, 2006

Say Watt?

Yeah, everyone knows the modern format for the title should be

This Philosopher Had Sex With Underage Boys in a Tunisian Cemetery in the Sixties and We Are Here For It

Phlegmish
Jul 2, 2011



They probably should have put him into one of those prisons he hated so much

Pope Hilarius II
Nov 10, 2008

Antigravitas posted:



Five injured during a Fight Of The Ice Cream Vendors in Wuppertal

Wuppertal. Ice cream cart vendors attacked each other with iron bars and chains on Saturday in front of the Wuppertal zoo. The five men were no longer fit to be questioned after the heavy brawl in front of children.

1. I've always found 'Wuppertal' an insanely hilarious city name. Do native speakers of German also find that it sounds funny?
2. I love the word 'Schlägerei' :black101: (funnily enough, its Dutch cognate 'slagerij' just means 'butcher shop').
3. My native town had a similar (though not as violent) turf war going on between two stalls of confectionary (a local conical sweet known as cuberdon)


I like how with every additional word, that title becomes weirder and weirder. Also though, so the dude was a pederast, how was it relevant where he did it?

Lady Disdain
Jan 14, 2013


are you yet living?

Pope Hilarius II posted:

I like how with every additional word, that title becomes weirder and weirder. Also though, so the dude was a pederast, how was it relevant where he did it?

I read it as an attempt to change the tone from "he sexually assaulted children" to "whoa, what a wacky adventure he had this one time."

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
https://twitter.com/TB_Times/status/1461441560663502857

Cacafuego
Jul 22, 2007


Jeez, what an rear end in a top hat. But it’s not like he sexually assaulted and raped someone, right gang?

PhantomOfTheCopier
Aug 13, 2008

Pikabooze!
Because this is a political article, I'll go ahead and use a spoiler tag, but what I find weird about this is who cares that AOC is doing the denouncing? A censure is by the entire body, not just the person making the motion. The video depicts a murder of a Congressional representative and an attack on a (past) President. The headline should be "Rep Gosar censured for video depicting murder of lawmakers and President". Or perhaps "207 republicans voted in support of video depicting murder of a fellow congressman".

As written it's "weird" because it shifts blame: "Pet mouse of third cousin of mother of daughter of Frankenstein offended by elephant" (that trampled the mouse's sibling).

Lady Disdain
Jan 14, 2013


are you yet living?

PhantomOfTheCopier posted:

Because this is a political article, I'll go ahead and use a spoiler tag, but what I find weird about this is who cares that AOC is doing the denouncing? A censure is by the entire body, not just the person making the motion. The video depicts a murder of a Congressional representative and an attack on a (past) President. The headline should be "Rep Gosar censured for video depicting murder of lawmakers and President". Or perhaps "207 republicans voted in support of video depicting murder of a fellow congressman".

As written it's "weird" because it shifts blame: "Pet mouse of third cousin of mother of daughter of Frankenstein offended by elephant" (that trampled the mouse's sibling).

I believe you've hit the nail on the head; that was exactly the author's intention.

PhantomOfTheCopier
Aug 13, 2008

Pikabooze!

Lady Disdain posted:

I believe you've hit the nail on the head; that was exactly the author's intention.
The only truth left is memes. :downs: I guess we need more news reporting agencies, ie places that report how much bullshit comes from news agencies.

ultrafilter
Aug 23, 2007

It's okay if you have any questions.


https://twitter.com/RawStory/status/1461773082104938503

Antigravitas
Dec 8, 2019

Die Rettung fuer die Landwirte:

Pope Hilarius II posted:

1. I've always found 'Wuppertal' an insanely hilarious city name. Do native speakers of German also find that it sounds funny?

"Wupper" is just an inherently funny word imo.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
https://twitter.com/MarketWatch/status/1462160448665665544

aardwolf
Apr 27, 2013

By popular demand posted:

Ice cream is apparently serious business. :gonk:

Lobok posted:

I scream, you scream, we all scream for grievous bodily harm.

Somebody should have explained to those guys that ice cream isn't the only dish best served cold.

Detective Thompson
Nov 9, 2007

Sammy Davis Jr. Jr. is also in repose.
So you're saying they should drop the ice cream and get into the borscht game? Risky move perhaps for kids at a zoo, but sometimes a gamble pays off.

By popular demand
Jul 17, 2007

IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!


I picked a bad time to introduce my beetroot ice cream, I'm seeing red here.

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
https://twitter.com/DefectorMedia/status/1462077497550512131

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
https://twitter.com/FOX13News/status/1462107301029064722

I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
https://twitter.com/mjgault/status/1460653395992264707

Platystemon
Feb 13, 2012

BREADS
Claim salvage rights on it.

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I would blow Dane Cook
Dec 26, 2008
https://twitter.com/GuardianAus/status/1462900043317489667

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