r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

InsertPotPun: Apr 16, 2018; Pissy Bitch stan

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for refusing to get my father his beer?

How has the dad not fired this turd into the sun?

my mom used to look confused and say "get up for a minute?" and when i stood up she'd continue "can you get me a cup of coffee while you're up?"
i consistently fell for this for decades
and i always got that cup of coffee because you have to respect the game.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 06:44

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# ? May 30, 2024 11:08

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

a podcast for cats posted:

There's an influential right wing politician from the biggest nationalist/family values party in the country I'm originally from who is notorious for having been beaten up with a bunch of rhubarbs by his then wife to the point where he filed a police report. So, whenever his name comes up, Twitter etc blow up with rhubarb jokes.

I'm never sure how to feel about that. On one hand, gently caress that guy and his party is directly responsible for blocking legislation that would help DV victims. On the other, making fun of a domestic violence victim just for that is lovely in itself.

No idea who you're coyly referring to, but I get what you're talking about. The old "Trump won't see your lovely fatphobic comments but your fat friends will" thing.

AITA for not wanting to split the cost of a streaming service I didn�t want?
rear end in a top hat

quote:

(Throwaway + all fake names)

So basically I (24F) have three roommates (22F Jessica, 22M Mark, 19M Alex (fakes names)), we split most things, this includes streaming services. We split Netflix, Disney + etc. a few months ago Alex wanted to try out this new streaming service, it�s one filled only with like Horror stuff, not really my thing tbh. Well Jessica and Mark agreed to try it out so they got the free trial and all three of them loved it, I didn�t use it at all during this time bc Horror just really isn�t my thing.

They decided to sign up for it and I told them since I don�t use it I didn�t want to split the cost, they said that was fine. Fast forward to now, I actually had a look at it and there were some series and movies that I watched and actually liked, there were less gory and horror. Apparently sometimes when I use it, it won�t let one of my roommates watch stuff.

I accidentally let it slip that I�ve been using it (i was talking about one of the series that was only available on it.) they explained that it kicks one of them off if we are all using it at once, they then asked me to chip in if I was using it. I said no, it was their idea to get it it wasn�t a streaming service I wanted initially and there isn�t much harm in me using it occasionally if we already have it. That happened last weekend, and since then things have been tense, they have been ignoring me and no longer inviting me when they go out. I feel really left out and like I�m being punished for something that really inst a big deal, it literally decreases how much they each have to pay by less than a dollar. I feel like this is really stupid but AITA?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 07:23

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for not wanting to split the cost of a streaming service I didn’t want?
rear end in a top hat

Doesn't that mean it costs less than $3 for her to just pay?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 07:30

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Beachcomber posted:

Doesn't that mean it costs less than $3 for her to just pay?

Yes, but she's a huge piece of poo poo so obviously is unwilling to do this.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 07:41

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Is there an estranged account sharers forum? Cause OP gonna be there soon

# ? Nov 20, 2021 07:59

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

AITA for driving away after a homeless person approached my car asking for money after I already said no multiple times?

quote:

I already feel in the wrong for this but let me start by saying I see this particular woman everytime I head home from night shift. She always hangs around a very busy intersection where there is a lot of cars stopping at the red light just off the freeway.

At first, I was sympathetic the first few times she approached but I was straight up honest with her. I don't have any cash, and I only have cards. She begged me to go to the gas station with her to get food but I politely said no because I do not know who she is, despite if she was being genuine or not, I wasn't going to risk getting out of my car for a stranger.

The last few times is when I started being more suspicious and guarded. I saw her again and this time I had at least 10 dollars in my wallet so I gave it to her. She took it and asked if I had anymore. I was taken aback and said no, that I was sorry but that's all I had and she sighed heavily and walked away without saying anything else.

The next time I saw her I offered a box of granola that I had in my car and some water bottles. She straight up declined then asked me again to accompany her to the gas station to get her pizza when I said I had no cash.

Thats when I got suspicious and started keeping my windows up and car doors locked. It felt like she was trying to lure me somewhere. I'm overly paranoid about that because a lot of people in my city go missing. She approached my car again last night and this time I straight up told her through the window I had no cash then ignored her. I felt terrible because she looked distressed and begged me to roll down the window, but I just continued to ignored her and drove off quickly when the light turned green.

I told my fianc� about this and they said I did all I could, but when I told one of my friends over Instagram, they tore into me and said I was terrible for how I treated that poor woman and that I needed more compassion. So AITA? Should I have done more? Or was I justified?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 08:07

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Not to mention that yeah, sure, the basic mechanics of just having sex might be something that comes fairly quickly and easily, but having good, satisfying sex absolutely is not. Last I checked, lions don�t give a poo poo if the sex is good.

Actually the fun part (and I don't mean the male cat's penis being barbed) is that lions DO need to have good sex, or at least overall not horrible bloody sex because lions are strangers when a pride forms. Usually the females are sisters or cousins, and new males move in or join. In order to get along, mating takes a lot of time. I don't mean the act, the act itself is quick, but they have to do it a lot. And since lions are overall apex predators, they can afford to gently caress the day away and get used to their new partners/pride. Yeah there can be issues, but a lioness can give as good as she gets.

On the flip side, when I worked at the zoo, we had a fairly new zebra group, and the male died; the new male brought in was young, and super excited to have a half dozen females. The females, however, were older and weren't going to take some random youth as their leader. Watching him try and fail to mount the females because they'd step away or he'd get up enough to spray all over the ground was the job an intern had, to mark down how many times he tried and failed.

Now don't get me wrong, lots of animals have bloody sex, or sex we would just call rape, but many species do need to learn the basics, learn the social aspects of it, and humans are no different.

Now for the part that can come after sex, and no, lions don't do this.

AITA for not wanting to be part of my mothers pregnancy reveal?

quote:

I know that the title kinda sounds bad. But hear me out. I (21F) am my moms oldest child. She had me at 18, the middle child in her 20's, and my baby sister in her 30's. She just turned 40 this year (2021) and she just called me tonight to announce she's pregnant again. I have a baby (2M) and thought she'd be done having kids because now she's technically a grandmother.

My mother hated the idea of me being pregnant when I told her, and she even suggested I "get rid of it" when I told her. She's with her husband that I absolutely hate. The three of us (my mothers children) all have different fathers but the youngest is his only biological child, other than this new baby. My mothers husband is a terrible man and has done terrible things to me and the middle child. My mother knows about these and hasn't done a thing about any of it. Tonight, she called me and announced it to me. She said not to tell my family because she wants to do a special announcement. She wants pictures of all her children holding signs. Mine will say Teens, the middle's will say 20's, the youngest will say 30's, and the ultrasound of this baby will say 40's.

I don't want to do this. My mom has a history of miscarriage and has had dangerous deliveries in the past. Not only that, but I basically raised my youngest sibling and I moved away so who knows who's actually going to be taking care of this baby. I'm glad she's happy, but I don't think this pregnancy is something to celebrate. At least not right now. I'm not happy because her age and history of difficult pregnancies and deliveries is very scary. I know it sounds like I hate this baby and pregnancy, and maybe to some extent I do currently because the situation is so fresh in my mind. I just don't want to lose my mother because she wants more kids she can't even really handle.

I haven't told her yet that I don't want to be included, but would I be the a$$hole for telling my mother I don't want to be part of her announcement?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 08:17

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

cumpantry posted:

when i have sex with the missus i make loud sustained grunts like i'm searching walls in an old fps for secrets so the kids just think dad's playing doom wads again

unch unch unch

where is it?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 09:42

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

OhAreThey posted:

I think it's weird that some people are like "a 21 year old virgin?? What a creep!" but think a 14 year old having sex is A-OK!

(to be clear, I'm not saying that you're going to be hosed up if you become sexually active at a young age, especially if it's consensual...just that people seem more comfortable with literal children loving than a virgin in their 20s))

Because they were taught exactly that that for generations until very recently. Also, loving teenagers (almost entirely adult men loving teenage girls) was so normalised that entire popular genres of music are dominated by songs about it.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 10:01

A Festivus Miracle: Dec 19, 2012; I have come to discourse on the profound inequities of the American political system.

NTA. The eldest kid has her own life and her own problems now. At some point, I don't feel a sibling owes another sibling their time and that point is when the difference in age is so massive that being involved in their life is impossible outside of visiting their parents.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 10:09

Malachite_Dragon: Mar 31, 2010; Weaving Merry Christmas magic

Cowslips Warren posted:

On the flip side, when I worked at the zoo, we had a fairly new zebra group, and the male died; the new male brought in was young, and super excited to have a half dozen females. The females, however, were older and weren't going to take some random youth as their leader. Watching him try and fail to mount the females because they'd step away or he'd get up enough to spray all over the ground was the job an intern had, to mark down how many times he tried and failed.

"And what did you do for your job season this summer, Joshua?"
"I had to keep track of how many times an idiot zebra had premature ejaculation :geno:

# ? Nov 20, 2021 10:28

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

Malachite_Dragon posted:

"And what did you do for your job season this summer, Joshua?"
"I had to keep track of how many times an idiot zebra had premature ejaculation "

An intern at my old job had to count how many times the words gently caress and oval office were used in the film Sexy Beast.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 10:56

Mellow_: Sep 13, 2010

therattle posted:

An intern at my old job had to count how many times the words gently caress and oval office were used in the film Sexy Beast.

Well? Were they 69 and 420?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 11:01

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

Mellow_ posted:

Well? Were they 69 and 420?

More fucks and fewer cunts. Something like 250/150.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 11:09

Mellow_: Sep 13, 2010

therattle posted:

More fucks and fewer cunts.

Story of my life.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 11:23

Ziv Zulander: Mar 24, 2017; ZZ for short

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Because they were taught exactly that that for generations until very recently. Also, loving teenagers (almost entirely adult men loving teenage girls) was so normalised that entire popular genres of music are dominated by songs about it.

Entire popular genres of music referring to classic rock, and uh� what else?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 11:28

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Ziv Zulander posted:

Entire popular genres of music referring to classic rock, and uh� what else?

All those country songs about pretty girls aren't talking about grown women.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 11:36

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

a podcast for cats posted:

There's an influential right wing politician from the biggest nationalist/family values party in the country I'm originally from

My esteemed posting colleague, you know how this thread feels about semi anonymization.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 13:52

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

Malachite_Dragon posted:

"And what did you do for your job season this summer, Joshua?"
"I had to keep track of how many times an idiot zebra had premature ejaculation "

That and rake animal poo poo for 6 hours a day. Sitting down and counting the times the male slipped off was likely a nice break.

AITA For quitting on the spot even though we were understaff and it made my manager cry?

quote:

I worked at a retail store in the mall. The store is divided into men�s, women�s and children�s clothes. I always worked women�s and on the weekdays I was always the only employee in that entire section.

Yesterday myself and two other employees clocked into ours shifts. My manager Lisa pulled my aside and told me �Your dads called the store five times asking for your schedule please tell him to stop�. I got extremely confused because that didn�t sound like something my dad would do. I even texted him and he said he never called the store once. I had a bad feeling and asked Lisa if she gave �my dad� my schedule and she did she did. I then told her that wasn�t my dad and she had no right telling a strange man my schedule. She got annoyed and told me that it wasn�t a big deal and I was being dramatic.

I then quit on the spot which only left her and two other employee to watch the entire store. She kept apologizing and even burst into tears because they were understaffed.

AITA?

When I worked at a pet store, my manager told me I got too many personal calls. This was in an age before cell phones, so it'd tie up the store line. I told her I didn't get calls at work. Turns out any time someone called in with any question that wasn't about dogs or cats, the idiot answering the phone would page me. "Cowslips, line one and two." Questions ranging from how to breed parakeets to how to medicate koi. poo poo I had no idea about. And most of the time I didn't hear the pages, someone else would tell me a caller had a question for me. But this would happen once or twice a shift, and I almost got written up for it.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 15:58

Underwhelmed: Mar 7, 2004; Nap Ghost

So was she being stalked by someone with anterograde amnesia?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 16:24

Propaniac: Nov 28, 2000; SUSHI ROULETTO!; College Slice

Would anyone have a link or copy of the article (it wasn't a Reddit post, it was published on some site) by the woman who was married and then got a boyfriend but her marriage was fine, and then the boyfriend moved in but her marriage was fine, and then her husband moved to a downstairs bedroom and the boyfriend slept with her every night but her marriage was fine, and then her husband moved out but her marriage was fine, and then they got divorced but it had nothing to do with her boyfriend, and I think her ex-husband had stopped talking to her but again, totally normal and healthy and unrelated to the boyfriend?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 16:28

A Wizard of Goatse: Dec 14, 2014

a podcast for cats posted:

There's an influential right wing politician from the biggest nationalist/family values party in the country I'm originally from who is notorious for having been beaten up with a bunch of rhubarbs by his then wife to the point where he filed a police report. So, whenever his name comes up, Twitter etc blow up with rhubarb jokes.

I'm never sure how to feel about that. On one hand, gently caress that guy and his party is directly responsible for blocking legislation that would help DV victims. On the other, making fun of a domestic violence victim just for that is lovely in itself.

Sorry but that's the way of the world, you're never gonna make getting your poo poo kicked in by a vegetable not at least kinda funny, doubly so if it's a thoroughly deserved beating from the crisper drawer.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 16:54

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL: Feb 21, 2006; Holy Moly! DARKSEID IS!

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA For quitting on the spot even though we were understaff and it made my manager cry?

NTA and I hope some people encouraged her to reach out to corporate and let them know the manager is giving out an employee�s schedule to a total stranger. As poor as my former employer was way back when that chain educated people on protecting safety and privacy, especially in the nascence of social media. We had more than one incident of stalkers and creeps trying to prey on underage employees, awfulness I�ll never forget. Even when nothing extreme happened that sticks with you - talk about �instantly angry.�

Now I�m in healthcare and I�ve had coworkers threatened for giving vaccines. If it weren�t for state licensing requirements I�d insist on a fake name on my badge (and I wonder if there�s still a way around that tbh).

# ? Nov 20, 2021 17:05

elise the great: May 1, 2012; You do not have to be good. You only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves.

SUPERMAN'S GAL PAL posted:

Now I�m in healthcare and I�ve had coworkers threatened for giving vaccines. If it weren�t for state licensing requirements I�d insist on a fake name on my badge (and I wonder if there�s still a way around that tbh).

Our facility gets around it with �badge covers� that contain our first names and last initials + our credentials. If someone wants a last name they can talk to a supervisor.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 17:44

GrunkleStalin: Aug 13, 2021

I don�t think I saw this one posted yet.

AITA For Telling Off A Homophobic Uncle At A Family Dinner?

To start off this post, I'm gay. My whole family knows I'm gay, including the uncle that I told off. So we were having our Thanksgiving dinner(SUPER early, I know, but we had two reasons. We had family coming up from Florida(we live in Michigan) that actually hit the road right after this dinner. We wanted to include them, obviously, since we don't get to see them a whole lot. The other reason is basically just the pandemic. Everyone in our family is currently healthy and since that could change at any moment we just had the dinner as soon as possible.) So, everyone gets to the dinner, and I'm on the couch, texting the guy I'm currently dating. The Uncle in question, let's call him Sam, looks over my shoulder and sees me texting him. By the way, he's met this person and knows he's my boyfriend. The first words out of his mouth, and I quote, are, "When are you going to stop messing around with other guys and get a girlfriend?"

I ask Sam what he meant, and he repeats the question. I tell him that I don't ever plan on having a girlfriend, since I am both dating someone and not interested in girls. He says that it's "just a phase", and that I'll "grow out of it soon enough". So after just looking at him for like 5 seconds trying to determine whether he was actually serious or not, I ask him if it was also a phase to not have a job, girlfriend, or even a house(This is true, he literally lives in a family member's basement because he can't hold down a stable job.). Now it was his turn to stare at me. He just says that you can't talk to adults that way and goes up to bother someone else.

So my mom and step-dad are currently arguing on whether or not to ground me over this, since in my step-dad's family, talking back to adults is not allowed whatsoever and heavily punished. You essentially have to go along with whatever they say, because they're older than you. If you talked back to an adult when he was a kid, you'd be grounded for a long time, like a couple of months(although I don't know exactly what they would've taken away when he was a kid, because he didn't have a phone and I doubt gaming consoles were around.). On the other hand, my mom thinks that I was in the right since he was being homophobic and I was just defending myself.

So I was wondering, AITA for telling him off?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 18:09

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Step-Dad's family had to invent a rule about not letting kids own their parents because it happens too often. the Simpson's gene is real

# ? Nov 20, 2021 18:28

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

OhAreThey posted:

I think it's weird that some people are like "a 21 year old virgin?? What a creep!" but think a 14 year old having sex is A-OK!

(to be clear, I'm not saying that you're going to be hosed up if you become sexually active at a young age, especially if it's consensual...just that people seem more comfortable with literal children loving than a virgin in their 20s))

Adults who gently caress teenagers are weird, but teenagers wanting to gently caress each other is extremely normal, and not being able to seal the deal with at least one other teenager before you turn 20 is a red flag.

It�s not a big deal in the long run, but it definitely puts you in the �latest bloomer� quintile, where most other people will have experience with this life step and the emotional experience that comes with it and you won�t.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 18:29

Strategic Tea: Sep 1, 2012

Sad lol at the idea that being violent, abusive or even muderous is any obstacle at all to losing your virginity. Evidence: this entire thread

# ? Nov 20, 2021 18:32

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Do you wipe your rear end? Then you're in the top 1%.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 18:36

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

and not being able to seal the deal with at least one other teenager before you turn 20 is a red flag.

What's the normal place to have sex for teens if they don't go to college and live with their parents? One person's house or the other?
I can't shake the class disparity latent in the question.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 18:39

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Invisible Clergy posted:

Do you wipe your rear end? Then you're in the top 1%.

Yeah but thats the % not getting laid. If anything based on these stories you need to be a self-destructive literal poo poo goblin with a love of arguing and not holding gainful employment. Works for all genders and orientations.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 18:39

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

kimbo305 posted:

What's the normal place to have sex for teens if they don't go to college and live with their parents? One person's house or the other?
I can't shake the class disparity latent in the question.

In someone's car or at whoever's place while the single parent or both parents are working

# ? Nov 20, 2021 18:44

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

kimbo305 posted:

What's the normal place to have sex for teens if they don't go to college and live with their parents? One person's house or the other?
I can't shake the class disparity latent in the question.

Google says the average age for someone in the us to have sex for the first time is 17. So that�s like half of them, before college age, loving in the back of the car or behind the weed smoking tree in the woods or climbing up onto balconies and thru bedroom windows or whatever teens do. Hormones makes you sex crazed and makes you reckless 🤷🏼‍♂️

# ? Nov 20, 2021 18:45

Walh Hara: May 11, 2012

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

not being able to seal the deal with at least one other teenager before you turn 20 is a red flag.

What the heck are you talking about? I really don't understand how anyone could believe this? It reads to me that you only know or talk to people in a very specific cultural niche that are all very similar.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 18:52

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

loving in the back of the car or behind the weed smoking tree in the woods or climbing up onto balconies and thru bedroom windows or whatever teens do.

Still pretty middle class to have a car or a house you can sneak in through a window. Obviously horn dog teens will find a way, but I still feel like it's much easier if you go to college or aren't stuffed into an apartment with more people than rooms.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 18:57

Fruits of the sea: Dec 1, 2010

Is this some kind of troll to out virgin goons

# ? Nov 20, 2021 19:02

EIDE Van Hagar: Dec 8, 2000; Beep Boop

Walh Hara posted:

What the heck are you talking about? I really don't understand how anyone could believe this? It reads to me that you only know or talk to people in a very specific cultural niche that are all very similar.

Numbers don�t lie? If the average age is 17 then you are really really on the tail end by the time you are 20-21, like last 5% or something.

If you are the last virgin anyone knows people are gonna worry about it, like, that�s exactly what happened in the post where she�s worried the experience might be too much for him, or that he might not know what he is getting into. The older you get missing out on an experience everyone else has had the more people are gonna wonder if something is wrong.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 19:03

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

Lol are we going to imply only rich teenagers gently caress?

# ? Nov 20, 2021 19:07

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

kimbo305 posted:

What's the normal place to have sex for teens if they don't go to college and live with their parents? One person's house or the other?
I can't shake the class disparity latent in the question.

So money gatekeeps teens from having sex. Got it. That certainly checks out.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 19:08

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# ? May 30, 2024 11:08

Walh Hara: May 11, 2012

EIDE Van Hagar posted:

Numbers don�t lie? If the average age is 17 then you are really really on the tail end by the time you are 20-21, like last 5% or something.

Numbers are meaningless though? W.r.t. determining whether it's a red flag you need to know way more about somebody his/her culture and circumstances before you can apply such a ridiculous broad brush.

Plus, if you find stats that important then don't invent them: post a distribution plot to prove your point.

# ? Nov 20, 2021 19:10

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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