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(Thread IKs: sharknado slashfic)
 
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my bony fealty
Oct 1, 2008

something in Loeb's book got me tripped up. he says the Spitzer Space Telescope "spent almost two decades circling about a hundred and fifty-five million miles above us" - did we really launch a telescope orbiting the sun that far away that gathered data for that long? that fuckin owns

I know about new horizons and stuff but that one just seems whack for some reason

my bony fealty has issued a correction as of 05:57 on Nov 20, 2021

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wilfredmerriweathr
Jul 11, 2005
https://www.nasa.gov/feature/jpl/spitzer-space-telescope-begins-beyond-phase

I was part of a team that used spitzer for studies of variables in far off galaxies, it was pretty cool and I wish it was still ongoing but such is life and I am glad I got the opportunity!

https://arxiv.org/abs/1701.01151

The Saucer Hovers
May 16, 2005

wilfredmerriweathr posted:

https://www.nasa.gov/feature/jpl/spitzer-space-telescope-begins-beyond-phase

I was part of a team that used spitzer for studies of variables in far off galaxies, it was pretty cool and I wish it was still ongoing but such is life and I am glad I got the opportunity!

https://arxiv.org/abs/1701.01151

is it true what they say about telescopists?

The Saucer Hovers has issued a correction as of 06:53 on Nov 20, 2021

Hodgepodge
Jan 29, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 217 days!

Wheeee posted:

Murray Templeton was forty-five years old, in the prime of life, and with all parts of his body in perfect working order except for certain key portions of his coronary arteries, but that was enough.

The pain had come suddenly, had mounted to an unbearable peak, and had then ebbed steadily. He could feel his breath slowing and a kind of gathering peace washing over him.

There is no pleasure like the absence of pain – immediately after pain. Murray felt an almost giddy lightness as though he were lifting in the air and hovering.

He opened his eyes and noted with distant amusement that the others in the room were still agitated. He had been in the laboratory when the pain had struck, quite without warning, and when he had staggered, he had heard surprised outcries from the others before everything vanished into overwhelming agony.

Now, with the pain gone, the others were still hovering, still anxious, still gathered about his fallen body –– Which, he suddenly realised, he was looking down on.

He was down there, sprawled, face contorted. He was up here, at peace and watching.

He thought: Miracle of miracles! The life-after-life nuts were right.

And although that was a humiliating way for an atheistic physicist to die, he felt only the mildest surprise, and no alteration of the peace in which he was immersed.

He thought: There should be some angel – or something – coming for me.

The Earthly scene was fading. Darkness was invading his consciousness and off in a distance, as a last glimmer of sight, there was a figure of light, vaguely human in form, and radiating warmth.

Murray thought: What a joke on me. I’m going to Heaven.

Even as he thought that, the light faded, but the warmth remained. There was no lessening of the peace even though in all the Universe only he remained – and the Voice.

The Voice said, “I have done this so often and yet I still have the capacity to be pleased at success.”

It was in Murray’s mind to say something, but he was not conscious of possessing a mouth, tongue, or vocal chords. Nevertheless, tried to make a sound. He tried, mouthlessly, to hum words or breathe them or just push them out by a contraction of – something.

And they came out. He heard his own voice, quite recognisable, and his own words, infinitely clear.

Murray said, “Is this Heaven?”

The Voice said, “This is no place as you understand place.”

Murray was embarrassed, but the next question had to be asked. “Pardon me if I sound like a jackass. Are you God?”

Without changing intonation or in any way marring the perfection of the sound, the Voice managed to sound amused. “It is strange that I am always asked that in, of course, an infinite number of ways. There is no answer I can give that you would comprehend. I am – which is all that I can say significantly and you may cover that with any word or concept you please.”

Murray said, “And what am I? A soul? Or am I only personified existence too?” He tried not to sound sarcastic, but it seemed to him that he had failed. He thought then, fleetingly, of adding a ‘Your Grace’ or ‘Holy One’ or something to counteract the sarcasm, and could not bring himself to do so even though for the first time in his existence he speculated on the possibility of being punished for his insolence – or sin? – with Hell, and what that might be like.

The Voice did not sound offended. “You are easy to explain – even to you. You may call yourself a soul if that pleases you, but what you are is a nexus of electromagnetic forces, so arranged that all the interconnections and interrelationships are exactly imitative of those of your brain in your Universe-existence – down to the smallest detail. Therefore you have your capacity for thought, your memories, your personality. It still seems to you that you are you.”

Murray found himself incredulous. “You mean the essence of my brain was permanent?”

“Not at all. There is nothing about you that is permanent except what I choose to make so. I formed the nexus. I constructed it while you had physical existence and adjusted it to the moment when the existence failed.”

The Voice seemed distinctly pleased with itself, and went on after a moment’s pause. “An intricate but entirely precise construction. I could, of course, do it for every human being on your world but I am pleased that I do not. There is pleasure in the selection.”

“You choose very few then?”

“Very few.”

“And what happens to the rest?”

“Oblivion! – Oh, of course, you imagine a Hell.”

Murray would have flushed if he had the capacity to do so. He said, “I do not. It is spoken of. Still, I would scarcely have thought I was virtuous enough to have attracted your attention as one of the Elect.”

“Virtuous? – Ah, I see what you mean. It is troublesome to have to force my thinking small enough to permeate yours. No, I have chosen you for your capacity for thought, as I choose others, in quadrillions, from all the intelligent species of the Universe.”

Murray found himself suddenly curious, the habit of a lifetime. He said, “Do you choose them all yourself or are there others like you?”

For a fleeting moment, Murray thought there was an impatient reaction to that, but when the Voice came, it was unmoved. “Whether or not there are others is irrelevant to you. This Universe is mine, and mine alone. It is my invention, my construction, intended for my purpose alone.”

“And yet with quadrillions of nexi you have formed, you spend time with me? Am I that important?”

The Voice said, “You are not important at all. I am also with others in a way which, to your perception, would seem simultaneous.”

“And yet you are one?”

Again amusement. The Voice said, “You seek to trap me into an inconsistency. If you were an amoeba who could consider individuality only in connection with single cells and if you were to ask a sperm whale, made up of thirty quadrillion cells, whether it was one or many, how could the sperm whale answer in a way that would be comprehensible to the amoeba?”

Murray said dryly, “I’ll think about it. It may become comprehensible.”

“Exactly. That is your function. You will think.”

“To what end? You already know everything, I suppose.”

The Voice said, “Even if I knew everything, I could not know that I know everything.”

Murray said, “That sounds like a bit of Eastern philosophy – something that sounds profound precisely because it has no meaning.”

The Voice said, “You have promise. You answer my paradox with a paradox – except that mine is not a paradox. Consider. I have existed eternally, but what does that mean? It means I cannot remember having come into existence. If I could, I would not have existed eternally. If I cannot remember having come into existence, then there is at least one thing – the nature of my coming into existence – that I do not know.

“Then, too, although what I know is infinite, it is also true that what there is to know is infinite, and how can I be sure that both infinities are equal? The infinity of potential knowledge may be infinitely greater than the infinity of my actual knowledge. Here is a simple example: If I knew every one of the even integers, I would know an infinite number of items, and yet I would still not know a single odd integer.”

Murray said, “But the odd integers can be derived. If you divide every even integer in the entire infinite series by two, you will get another infinite series which will contain within it the infinite series of odd integers.”

The Voice said, “You have the idea. I am pleased. It will be your task to find other such ways, far more difficult ones, from the known to the not-yet-known. You have your memories. You will remember all the data you have ever collected or learned, or that you have or will deduce from that data. If necessary, you will be allowed to learn what additional data you will consider relevant to the problems you set yourself.”

“Could you not do all that for yourself?”

The Voice said, “I can, but it is more interesting this way. I constructed the Universe in order to have more facts to deal with. I inserted the uncertainty principle, entropy, and other randomisation factors to make the whole not instantly obvious. It has worked well for it has amused me throughout its entire existence.

“I then allowed complexities that produced first life and then intelligence, and use it as a source for a research team, not because I need the aid, but because it would introduce a new random factor. I found I could not predict the next interesting piece of knowledge gained, where it would come from, by what means derived.”

Murray said, “Does that ever happen?”

“Certainly. A century doesn’t pass in which some interesting item doesn’t appear somewhere.”

“Something that you could have thought of yourself, but had not done so yet?”

“Yes.”

Murray said, “Do you actually think there’s a chance of my obliging you in this manner?”

“In the next century? Virtually none. In the long run, though, your success is certain, since you will be engaged eternally.”

Murray said, “I will be thinking through eternity? Forever?”

“Yes.”

“To what end?”

“I have told you. To find new knowledge.”

“But beyond that. For what purpose am I to find new knowledge?”

“It was what you did in your Universe-bound life. What was its purpose then?”

Murray said, “To gain new knowledge that only I could gain. To receive the praise of my fellows. To feel the satisfaction of accomplishment knowing that I had only a short time allotted me for the purpose. – Now I would gain only what you could gain yourself if you wished to take a small bit of trouble. You cannot praise me; you can only be amused. And there is no credit or satisfaction in accomplishment when I have all eternity to do it in.”

The Voice said, “And you do not find thought and discovery worthwhile in itself? You do not find it requiring no further purpose?”

“For a finite time, yes. Not for all eternity.”

“I see your point. Nevertheless, you have no choice.”

“You say I am to think. You cannot make me do so.”

The Voice said, “I do not wish to constrain you directly. I will not need to. Since you can do nothing but think, you will think. You do not know how not to think.”

“Then I will give myself a goal. I will invent a purpose.”

The Voice said tolerantly, “That you can certainly do.”

“I have already found a purpose.”

“May I know what it is?”

“You know already. I know we are not speaking in the ordinary fashion. You adjust my nexus is such a way that I believe I hear you and I believe I speak, but you transfer thoughts to me and from me directly. And when my nexus changes with my thoughts you are at once aware of them and do not need my voluntary transmission.”

The Voice said, “You are surprisingly correct. I am pleased. – But it also pleases me to have you tell me your thoughts voluntarily.”

“Then I will tell you. The purpose of my thinking will be to discover a way to disrupt this nexus of me that you have created. I do not want to think for no purpose but to amuse you. I do not want to think forever to amuse you. I do not want to exist forever to amuse you. All my thinking will be directed toward ending the nexus. That would amuse me.”

The Voice said, “I have no objection to that. Even concentrated thought on ending your own existence may, in spite of you, come up with something new and interesting. And, of course, if you succeed in this suicide attempt you will have accomplished nothing, for I would instantly reconstruct you and in such a way as to make your method of suicide impossible. And if you found another and still more subtle fashion of disrupting yourself, I would reconstruct you with that possibility eliminated, and so on. It could be an interesting game, but you will nevertheless exist eternally. It is my will.”

Murray felt a quaver but the words came out with a perfect calm. “Am I in Hell then, after all? You have implied there is none, but if this were Hell you would lie to us as part of the game of Hell.”

The Voice said, “In that case, of what use is it to assure you that you are not in Hell? Nevertheless, I assure you. There is here neither Heaven nor Hell. There is only myself.”

Murray said, “Consider, then, that my thoughts may be useless to you. If I come up with nothing useful, will it not be worth your while to – disassemble me and take no further trouble with me?”

“As a reward? You want Nirvana as the prize of failure and you intend to assure me failure? There is no bargain there. You will not fail. With all eternity before you, you cannot avoid having at least one interesting thought, however you try against it.”

“Then I will create another purpose for myself. I will not try to destroy myself. I will set as my goal the humiliation of you. I will think of something you have not only never thought of but never could think of. I will think of the last answer, beyond which there is no knowledge further.”

The Voice said, “You do not understand the nature of the infinite. There may be things I have not yet troubled to know. There cannot be anything I cannot know.”

Murray said thoughtfully, “You cannot know your beginning. You have said so. Therefore you cannot know your end. Very well, then. That will be my purpose and that will be the last answer. I will not destroy myself. I will destroy you – if you do not destroy me first.”

The Voice said, “Ah! You come to that in rather less than average time. I would have thought it would have taken you longer. There is not one of those I have with me in this existence of perfect and eternal thought that does not have the ambition of destroying me. It cannot be done.”

Murray said, “I have all eternity to think of a way of destroying you.”

The Voice said, equably, “Then try to think of it.” And it was gone.

But Murray had his purpose now and was content.

For what could any Entity, conscious of eternal existence, want – but an end?

For what else had the Voice been searching for countless billions of years? And for what other reason had intelligence been created and certain specimens salvaged and put to work, but to aid in that great search? And Murray intended that it would be he, and he alone, who would succeed.

Carefully, and with the thrill of purpose, Murray began to think.

He had plenty of time.

Here we find the instructional case of an infant Brahma, barely a few billion years into its first kalpa. In time, you will be ready to assist such demiurges through the transition into being true Gods.

Hodgepodge
Jan 29, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 217 days!
ooh ooh prophecy

in a future lifetime, Wheeee will be known as the Bodhisattva Not Giving A poo poo

e: guess what Hodgepodge has been reading and win your own shitposting dharma prophecy, in the style of the text!

Hodgepodge has issued a correction as of 08:07 on Nov 20, 2021

Plumps
Apr 21, 2010
was it lord of light?

that was an awesome story

The Saucer Hovers
May 16, 2005

searching for vimana in the vedic pdfs

The Saucer Hovers
May 16, 2005

i wish i didnt want this

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/ufotarot/the-ufology-tarot?ref=discovery&term=ufology%20tarot

Think Less
Dec 29, 2016

Rad

Edit: it's only the major arcana :(

Think Less has issued a correction as of 17:50 on Nov 20, 2021

Rah!
Feb 21, 2006


p'nutty please

i beg u

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EaYwmv7hcA

D-Pad
Jun 28, 2006

Picked up some sweet wisdom yesterday at half price!



















And this







Jazerus
May 24, 2011


PURITY THROUGH SMUT

Hodgepodge
Jan 29, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 217 days!

Plumps posted:

was it lord of light?

that was an awesome story

think source material

Tighclops
Jan 23, 2008

Unable to deal with it


Grimey Drawer

Wheeee posted:

reminder that in 1976 two experiments performed by the Viking landers to detect life on Mars returned positive-but inconclusive-results and that no missions since then have been equipped to run experiments for existing life

I know this is from a page ago but it's still melting my brain has been for the past few years, like holy poo poo

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

Tighclops posted:

I know this is from a page ago but it's still melting my brain has been for the past few years, like holy poo poo

You kinda have to assume that somehow our top scientists or incredibly inept or something forced their hand

The Saucer Hovers
May 16, 2005

there are half a dozen recovered meteorites that show signs of life, dont even have to leave the atmosphere for stifling forced scientific consensus to ruin things

Rickshaw
Apr 11, 2004

just a coconut going for a stroll

wilfredmerriweathr posted:

https://www.nasa.gov/feature/jpl/spitzer-space-telescope-begins-beyond-phase

I was part of a team that used spitzer for studies of variables in far off galaxies, it was pretty cool and I wish it was still ongoing but such is life and I am glad I got the opportunity!

https://arxiv.org/abs/1701.01151

Very cool. I also used to do IR observational astronomy of distant galaxies. Spitzer's IRAC data is gnarly as hell.

Delta-Wye
Sep 29, 2005

The Saucer Hovers posted:

there are half a dozen recovered meteorites that show signs of life, dont even have to leave the atmosphere for stifling forced scientific consensus to ruin things

it turns out life is plentiful in the universe, you can't step foot anywhere without getting some stuck to your shoe.

my bony fealty
Oct 1, 2008

dick hoover says theres meteorites with fossil bacteria and by Ra i believe him

https://thejournalofcosmology.com/Life102.html

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

I'm waiting peanuts
https://twitter.com/SandiaWisdom/status/1462079635764748299?s=20

goochtit
Nov 2, 2021



the hole in my heart left by the passing of aitee is now filled with many aitees

Good Soldier Svejk
Jul 5, 2010

goochtit posted:

the hole in my heart left by the passing of aitee is now filled with many aitees

Sandia's is gonna be a bit more fun because when nothing happens she can't just disappear like the aitee guy. She's got too much invested in those pastel drawings

The Demilich
Apr 9, 2020

The First Rites of Men Were Mortuary, the First Altars Tombs.



Going to be pretty funny when we find out Jan 3rd 2022 that the P''nti jacked as many p'olo shirts and cash money hats as they could before bailing out of the solar system.

At least Sue might paint a sick rear end picture of the whole thing.

Jazerus
May 24, 2011


i think i might have just witnessed their p'olo heist. saw a weird orb that i thought was a star until it started moving, it was clearly not the blinkers of a plane. a commercial jet was flying normally nearby and the orb buzzed past the plane real close, then followed for a while before scampering away real quickly.

i guess it could have been a fighter jet inexplicably loving with a commercial flight because it didn't display any weird flight characteristics really but like, why

The Saucer Hovers
May 16, 2005

gratitude pays off again

Delta-Wye
Sep 29, 2005
remember your "blink blink"s and your "thank you"s

Jazerus
May 24, 2011


i wasn't grateful for poo poo. those little bastards weren't doing it for anybody but themselves

Wheeee
Mar 11, 2001

When a tree grows, it is soft and pliable. But when it's dry and hard, it dies.

Hardness and strength are death's companions. Flexibility and softness are the embodiment of life.

That which has become hard shall not triumph.

few weeks ago i spent some time out on a beach at night looking up at the milky way, first time i'd gotten away from urban light pollution in years, honestly felt pretty amazing and i highly recommend if you have the means

there was what appeared to be a satellite in the sky, slightly shifting colours, but it would sort of 'wiggle' around, moving around a patch of sky in ways satellites don't. i imagine it was a balloon or something with a light beacon on it, but the presently existing context at least made me pay attention to it for a bit until my gf wanted to go because it was cold

toggle
Nov 7, 2005

Wheeee posted:

few weeks ago i spent some time out on a beach at night looking up at the milky way, first time i'd gotten away from urban light pollution in years, honestly felt pretty amazing and i highly recommend if you have the means

there was what appeared to be a satellite in the sky, slightly shifting colours, but it would sort of 'wiggle' around, moving around a patch of sky in ways satellites don't. i imagine it was a balloon or something with a light beacon on it, but the presently existing context at least made me pay attention to it for a bit until my gf wanted to go because it was cold

could of been space junk doin the ol tumble?

but yes, being out under a completely clear night really recharges the spirit

Wheeee
Mar 11, 2001

When a tree grows, it is soft and pliable. But when it's dry and hard, it dies.

Hardness and strength are death's companions. Flexibility and softness are the embodiment of life.

That which has become hard shall not triumph.

toggle posted:

could of been space junk doin the ol tumble?

but yes, being out under a completely clear night really recharges the spirit

Possibly, but it was illuminated and held a generally stable position in the sky, just moving around within a limited space, like you'd expect of like a tethered balloon or a drone or some poo poo

Bilirubin
Feb 16, 2014

The sanctioned action is to CHUG


toggle posted:

could of been space junk doin the ol tumble?

but yes, being out under a completely clear night really recharges the spirit

I recall a few years ago pointing the Milky Way out to my partner when we were in rural lands away from our urban lights, she was blown away at how "obvious" it was

goochtit
Nov 2, 2021



Wheeee posted:

few weeks ago i spent some time out on a beach at night looking up at the milky way, first time i'd gotten away from urban light pollution in years, honestly felt pretty amazing and i highly recommend if you have the means

there was what appeared to be a satellite in the sky, slightly shifting colours, but it would sort of 'wiggle' around, moving around a patch of sky in ways satellites don't. i imagine it was a balloon or something with a light beacon on it, but the presently existing context at least made me pay attention to it for a bit until my gf wanted to go because it was cold
bird was on its way to communicate vital nothings to yous, bring some sherpa blankets along next time :fluffy:

also drat I've gotta see an actual night sky

Delta-Wye
Sep 29, 2005


squatch furry so what

Wheeee
Mar 11, 2001

When a tree grows, it is soft and pliable. But when it's dry and hard, it dies.

Hardness and strength are death's companions. Flexibility and softness are the embodiment of life.

That which has become hard shall not triumph.

i kinda love su and the peanuts

dodecahardon
Oct 20, 2008

Bilirubin posted:

I recall a few years ago pointing the Milky Way out to my partner when we were in rural lands away from our urban lights, she was blown away at how "obvious" it was

light pollution is really really bad for the soul

my bony fealty
Oct 1, 2008

Delta-Wye posted:



squatch furry so what

et bigfoot slash is my favorite crossover genre

Jazerus
May 24, 2011


does that squatch have a vape pen in his hand

my bony fealty
Oct 1, 2008

aw hell! just p'nutted in the dang ol gravity drive again!

Wheeee
Mar 11, 2001

When a tree grows, it is soft and pliable. But when it's dry and hard, it dies.

Hardness and strength are death's companions. Flexibility and softness are the embodiment of life.

That which has become hard shall not triumph.

Charles Mansion posted:

light pollution is really really bad for the soul

city life is bad for the soul

i regret moving to a large urban center and in this new age of work from home kinda want to just move to the fuckin yukon at some point

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toggle
Nov 7, 2005

Wheeee posted:

Possibly, but it was illuminated and held a generally stable position in the sky, just moving around within a limited space, like you'd expect of like a tethered balloon or a drone or some poo poo

hmm strange. would of been cool to see.

Bilirubin posted:

I recall a few years ago pointing the Milky Way out to my partner when we were in rural lands away from our urban lights, she was blown away at how "obvious" it was

i remember being out in the middle of Australia for work and the milky way was casting a shadow on trees and things. just unreal to experience

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