r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

The Glumslinger posted:

Asked fiancé to take a break from porn so he left

Booooooo

is the fetish blue balling strangers by telling them a story about Thanksgiving related kink and then not elaborating further

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:02

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# ? May 29, 2024 16:24

The Chad Jihad: Feb 24, 2007

Feeder seems the most likely

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:07

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

It�s pilgrims

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:14

Captain Fargle: Feb 16, 2011

The Chad Jihad posted:

Feeder seems the most likely

I mean it's either that or colonialist exploitation of Native Americans and one of those is just gross instead of gross and racist so I know which answer I'm hoping for.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:14

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Feederism is gross and physically harmful though

I'd say that makes it worse but they're both bad

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:19

TheWeedNumber: Apr 20, 2020; by sebmojo

The Chad Jihad posted:

Feeder seems the most likely

What if it�s just fisting

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:20

Nooner: Mar 26, 2011; AN A+ OPSTER (:

Lol dude wants to gently caress his dinner

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:21

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

I have a HUGE gratitude fetish

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:21

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

he's into bugchasing for smallpox

AITA for reminding my GF that a Roomba is just a Roomba?

quote:

Two years ago on Black Friday my live-in girlfriend bought a Roomba on sale. She was really excited because we have a lot of pets and we did have to vacuum a lot. We still have to vacuum the furniture but the Roomba handles the floors. He's on a strict routine she set up and gets every part of our apartment. I definatly like the thing but my girlfriend has become .. obsessed with it? She immediately gave him a name of an anime character, and she changed the language it says errors in to Japanese, which is kind of a pain in the rear end because we never know what the error is. She has just really personified this thing and when she brushes the dogs and cats once a week, she thoroughly cleans the Roomba with special tools she bought and everything. But the thing that made me feel weird is how she talks to it. She just coos to this Roomba all the time about what a good job he does and how much we love him, just like he's a pet. It's weird to me.

This morning it kinda came to a head because as she was fixing the animals breakfasts before we went to work, she poured out some sprinkles on the floor and brought the Roomba to them, and sung happy birthday to it and made it suck them up. I just watched this all from the table and when she was done, I gentlely said, do you think this is normal? She was confused so I was like, it's just a Roomba. You are so extra with it and it's kinda creepy. I have made comments before but she always said, it's because I appreciate how hard he works/how much he helps us! But feeding it sprinkles for me took it over the line of annoying to concerning. I told her I was kinda worried that she was obsessed with it and a little worried about her. She was I guess not sure what to say, but we didn't have a lot of time before we both went off to work.

I've tried texting her and she hasn't responded, which she usually does because she walks to our apartment for her lunch break to let the pets out and stuff. I'm kind of worried that I hurt her feelings but I feel justified in bringing up the issue because I really don't think this behavior is normal and I am honestly worried about her mental health because of this.

EDIT: I need to stop goofing off at work and get stuff done, but thanks everyone for the comments. Not what I was expecting from Reddit. I was expecting the usual: "THIS IS A MAJOR RED FLAG BREAK UP NOW!" response. Maybe I was looking into it too much. Someone hilariously suggested to get it a gift for its birthday so I think I will bring that home with an apology for saying she was weird and obsessed. I still think its weird but like a lot of you said, it's not hurting me. I think I'm pick up stickers and maybe a birthday hat for it

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:26

packetmantis: Feb 26, 2013

That's really cute oh my god. Feeding it sprinkles. :kimchi:

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:43

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

B-Rock452 posted:

Gonna go out on a limb and assume stuffing is involved.

Stick a dildo in his rear end and cook him at 325 for three hours

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:44

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for reminding my GF that a Roomba is just a Roomba?

I recall reading somewhere that when Roombas first came out, they shipped a replacement for issues under warranty. This upset a lot of people who didn't just want a working Roomba, they wanted their Roomba.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:47

muscles like this!: Jan 17, 2005

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA for tricking my husband to coming to a school event and inviting her to my house?

Redditors think this was actually posted by the mom, because it's the only way the bit about being a goddess for raising the kids instead of giving them up for adoption makes sense.

There's also the opening where it says how the mother does hate the husband but doesn't actually ever treat him differently.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:47

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

The Glumslinger posted:

Asked fiancé to take a break from porn so he left

The possibilities here are why I didn�t change the title just yet.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 00:47

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Stick a dildo in his rear end and cook him at 325 for three hours

With slight modification this kind of works with "Yankee Doodle"

Stick a dildo in his rear end and cook him for three hours

# ? Nov 27, 2021 01:02

Jamie Faith: Jan 13, 2020

DemoneeHo posted:

he's into bugchasing for smallpox

AITA for reminding my GF that a Roomba is just a Roomba?

This is just like the borderlands story where the person the OP is complaining about sounds like a wonderful person lol

# ? Nov 27, 2021 01:10

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

it does sound obnoxious but it's also definitely one of those "if that's the biggest problem you've got..." cases

# ? Nov 27, 2021 01:12

Barudak: May 7, 2007

DemoneeHo posted:

he's into bugchasing for smallpox

AITA for reminding my GF that a Roomba is just a Roomba?

Do you feel sad for the little lamp? Why the new one is much better

# ? Nov 27, 2021 01:20

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

Barudak posted:

Do you feel sad for the little lamp? Why the new one is much better

They made a retraction commercial for that, iirc.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 01:21

kru: Oct 5, 2003

He likes to put his weenus into Turkeys bums :<

# ? Nov 27, 2021 01:22

Sodium Chloride: Jan 1, 2008

The Glumslinger posted:

Asked fiancé to take a break from porn so he left

The same person posted this six months ago:
Whenever I tell my boyfriend that he has hurt my feelings, he gets angry.

quote:

This morning, I (33f) spent a few moments processing my feelings and then calmly and casually explained to my boyfriend (40m) that something he had done earlier this morning hurt my feelings. He immediately became defensive and started attacking me (that I�m lying about the exact words he used, that I�m too sensitive, that I brought it up in the wrong way and at the wrong time, etc). I�m not trying to make myself seem like the good guy and him the bad guy. This is just how it happened.

I have noticed that this is a pattern. I can�t recall a time I expressed that he�d hurt my feelings and that he didn�t get angry. His anger can be easily triggered by anybody, not just me. We�ve been together nearly three years now and I�m learning his triggers. One is feeling in any way that I am accusing him of doing something wrong.

So, such as today, if I say something like, This morning when you responded this way it made me feel like this, he will generally raise his voice and turn it on me instead of on the issue. Whenever I ask him to lower his voice, as I�ve told him it makes me uncomfortable (previous abusive relationship, tinnitus), he usually gets more upset and leaves. And, generally, all of the fallout is blamed on me, no matter how I try to approach or handle or prepare for how things will go.

What are some good ways to approach a subject that is difficult for your partner/makes them angry? And what are some good strategies for handling the anger?

All the comments are dump him and that he is trash and he is red flag city. OP should have taken that advice.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 01:26

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Beachcomber posted:

They made a retraction commercial for that, iirc.

I know, and it was pathetic. I don't think I've bought anything from Ikea since then.

Edit: Why yes the film Brave Little Toaster is infuriating to me.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 01:29

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

I don't think I've ever replaced anything that still worked. Waste of money.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 01:37

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for reminding my GF that a Roomba is just a Roomba?

Humans will pack-bond with anything.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 01:43

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZdIJOE9jNcM

# ? Nov 27, 2021 01:45

Xlorp: Jan 23, 2008

He has to be eating corn the whole time

# ? Nov 27, 2021 02:22

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for wanting to play D&D online with headphones in?

quote:

My (34F) partner (34m) of 15 years is blaming me for his ongoing depression because I play D&D online with headphones in.

I�ve played D&D for years, one casual homebrew campaign and one recent Curse of Strahd campaign. My partner always said he wants lots of kids, and last year our first was born. I stopped playing until I wasn�t breastfeeding any more, then attempted to return to the homebrew game one Saturday a fortnight.

While I was pregnant he suddenly demanded to meet everyone I was playing with and see where we were playing. When I tried to return after giving birth he resented me going to the game, would often try to delay me going and would sometimes call and interrupt the game for minor issues. On the saturdays I did not play, I was in charge of baby�s care and bed time while he had drinks and games with his friends.

The Strahd game started after baby was born and initially was played in our home but became impossible for me to concentrate on the game with the baby around so we moved to playing at a different house. He was still seemed to me leaving on time and would call and interrupt the game. Even if baby was with a sitter.

With COVID I have been playing online, in a different room with my headphones in. Usually I arrange for the grandparents to have baby because otherwise I still find myself interrupted too much to focus on the game (max 5 hours).

2 weeks ago the game was cancelled but the group still chatted. I had headphones and my partner kept trying to interrupt & ask me things, which splits my focus, so I was getting annoyed. Afterwards we talked about it, and he said that he doesn�t like the headphones because it excludes him, it�s making him chronically depressed, and that there�s no point in him getting therapy for the depression if I�m going to keep doing the thing that causes it, which is isolating myself and putting in headphones to play D&D.

The following week I tried without headphones. But it is so hard for me to focus on the game, especially around him and baby, that I was brought to tears and we only played for 2 hours, but he was still unhappy about it.

He says I need to �adjust my standards about how I play� but I want to be able to focus and immerse properly in the game. I�ve already changed the hours that I play & tried without headphones, but it doesn�t work.

At the same time he�s been increasingly concerned about IT security so I currently can�t use my laptop, he reset my iPad & phone multiple times and he wants me to get a new phone number.

I�ve also, at his request, reduced my work hours so I�m more available for baby, even though I had full time work and he is technically unemployed but trading crypto.

I�changed what I can change for him, but I don�t want to give up D&D or play in a �less engaged� way because I enjoy it so much and lean on it for my mental health.

I want him to get therapy, but have I been the Ahole?

Update: AITA for wanting to play D&D online with headphones in?

quote:

Hi folks, just wanted to offer you all a little update since so many of you offered the perspective on reality to get myself and my kid into a better place.

So I gave my ex the ultimatum that either he and/or we get therapy, or we separate. And he chose no therapy because �therapists always take one person�s side� so I forced the separation. He moved out 6 weeks ago, I�ve been in my new home for a month, and it is like the fog has lifted, life is basically better in every way.

The more time I spend away from him, the better I feel. I�m back up to almost full time hours, which suits me well with a toddler, I have significantly more freedom and am going to make our home beautiful for the two of us.

Since the separation, some of the highlights of his behaviour include:

not packing anything at all with almost a month�s notice until the last 4 hours before he had to leave.

When he came to visit our kid at my home (he already knew where I would be living) he wanted me to look up the closest train station, the bus route, and the direction for him instead of figuring that out on the 3 hour trip himself

Walked into my home like he owned the place, lay on my bed to pat the cat, raided my pantry, said he was going to take my remaining tea because I don�t drink it and he does (I said no, it�s for guests), and after our child was in bed offered to cook everyone (himself, myself, and my three friends serving as guardians) dinner out of my freezer and still-packed kitchen!

I found a journal of his while I was packing his things. Turns out he did think I was having an affair at D&D. His reasoning was that I was always happy after a game, and he�d noticed changes in my appearance and behaviour (which, for the record, he had requested I do a few weeks earlier). Also turns out his version of �enough� sex in a day is 3-5 encounters.

He paid a junkie down the street for a blowjob when I was pregnant. He seems to have felt bad about that.

At various points in our conversations he has blamed me for trying too hard in the relationship, for misinterpreting his actions and words (even direct quotes), for not booking a therapist for him and for not assuming the best of him any more.

The kiddo is doing great though. She hasn�t actually noticed his absence at all and is having the best time in the new house.

I�m also going to turn the dining room into a Dungeons & Dragons & Dining room, because I can.

So, thank you. I know a lot of you read these things just for entertainment, but seriously, thank you.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 02:31

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

3-5 sexual encounters a day? I'm hoping a deep hug counts because drat dude, you've got a kid good luck

Well, moot point

# ? Nov 27, 2021 02:39

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

The Glumslinger posted:

He said I know how important Thanksgiving is to him and how much he�s been looking forward to this. I said I�d never agreed for Thanksgiving to be all about porn

this line should have been bolded. its incredible.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 02:41

Flared Basic Bitch: Feb 22, 2005; Invading your personal space since 1968.

the holy poopacy posted:

is the fetish blue balling strangers by telling them a story about Thanksgiving related kink and then not elaborating further

It�s walking around with your head jammed up the rear end of a giant uncooked turkey looking like you�ve been attacked by a very festive headcrab.

No wait that�s me.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 02:43

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Oh yeah, Mr. Beaning [everything about it]

# ? Nov 27, 2021 02:45

Flared Basic Bitch: Feb 22, 2005; Invading your personal space since 1968.

mind the walrus posted:

If you've got the feeling and it won't go away, bail. You can do better.

But don�t miss your chance to make it look like the climax of a nefarious two year long revenge scheme.

Note to self: Why am I so sad and all alone?

# ? Nov 27, 2021 02:59

les enfants Terrific!: Dec 12, 2008

OP said it was considered taboo so I'm betting it's some weird family reunion step incest roleplaying.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 03:12

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Mx. posted:

AITA for wanting to play D&D online with headphones in?

Update: AITA for wanting to play D&D online with headphones in?

quote:

The kiddo is doing great though. She hasn�t actually noticed his absence at all and is having the best time in the new house.

simultaneously :smith:

and

# ? Nov 27, 2021 03:12

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Mx. posted:

AITA for wanting to play D&D online with headphones in?

Update: AITA for wanting to play D&D online with headphones in?

This went from very sad to optimistic. It's kind-of incredible what sad nerds will normalize.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 03:15

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Flared Basic Bitch posted:

It�s walking around with your head jammed up the rear end of a giant uncooked turkey looking like you�ve been attacked by a very festive headcrab.

No wait that�s me.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 03:27

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

It�s pilgrims

I put on my robe and pilgrim's hat

# ? Nov 27, 2021 03:33

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Sodium Chloride posted:

The same person posted this six months ago:
Whenever I tell my boyfriend that he has hurt my feelings, he gets angry.

All the comments are dump him and that he is trash and he is red flag city. OP should have taken that advice.

I'm just going to assume this dude can literally only get off once a year, so that's why he's a porn elemental on Thanksgiving and a rage elemental the rest of the time

# ? Nov 27, 2021 03:36

TheDeadlyShoe: Feb 14, 2014

R/relationships: he's technically unemployed but trades crypto

# ? Nov 27, 2021 03:38

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# ? May 29, 2024 16:24

Funktastic: Jul 23, 2013

My office thinks I insulted a coworker but I didn�t mean it like that

quote:

I work for a small nonprofit. I have one boss and about 14 coworkers with whom I�m �office friendly,� meaning I don�t socialize outside of work/discuss personal matters. Though I�ve been employed the longest, I know very little about people�s personal lives.

The other day my coworker �Susan� came into the office carrying a rock she�d found on a hike. She showed it to me saying that she thought it was a fossil and wanted to ask �Nancy,� our volunteer coordinator, what it was. Without thinking, I laughed and said, �Whatever would Nancy know about fossils? That�s not her background.� Susan gave me a strange look and walked away.

Later that day, our boss called me into her office, shut the door, and told me that �accusing a coworker of falsifying information on her resume is a serious issue.� She then asked me for proof that Nancy had lied. Apparently, Nancy has advanced degrees in paleontology and had taught at our local junior college before switching fields and joining our team. I confessed that I had no idea; what I said to Susan was based my not knowing Nancy�s background. The idea seemed ridiculous: Nancy coordinates volunteers at a nonprofit that has nothing to do with science. How was I to know her background? My response didn�t go over well. I received a verbal warning as well as �advice� about being more aware of how my words came across.

I was also asked to apologize to Nancy � which I reluctantly did. She accepted my apology, but seemed strangely hurt. I still feel that I did nothing wrong. I was merely responding to something that sounded silly to me; the others blew it all out of proportion. My boss said that my words had come across as �dismissive and sexist� because I�m a man and it sounded like I�d assumed Nancy wasn�t really a scientist. I did assume that, but not because she was a woman, because she�s working in a field that has absolutely nothing to do with her scientific background. What say you? Was I out of line? I want to return to friendly terms with my boss and coworkers, but I don�t want admit unwarranted guilt.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 03:52

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