r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Lasca: May 8, 2007

hallo spacedog posted:

No that's exactly the story. Iirc the family took the kid and won't speak to the op and wife anymore

Weren�t they also baffled by the silence and wondering when the family would get over it and talk to them again?

# ? Nov 28, 2021 18:04

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# ? May 28, 2024 04:51

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Splicer posted:

In which runcible cat takes a strong stand against the concept of progression.

drat right. Sequence breaking 4 lyfe.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 18:05

TheWeedNumber: Apr 20, 2020; by sebmojo

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I mean, that sounds like the right call, certainly preferable to the kid growing up with them as parents.

Where�s pick when you need her lol

# ? Nov 28, 2021 18:09

Funky Valentine: Feb 26, 2014; Dojyaa~an

There's also the story about OP's sister giving her daughter up for adoption when she had a son and not telling the family until after it was done.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 18:31

DorkusMalorkus: Aug 4, 2009; "That's not Latin!"

I can't find text of the original post, just an update (https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5ib2k7/kyupdate_laws_surrounding_giving_child_up_for/)

quote:

Some of you may have seen my posts (1, [2] (https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5cq0h0/ky_laws_surrounding_giving_child_up_for_adoption/)), or reactions to my posts (1, 2, 3, 4), previously. I must express genuine surprise at the responses my family's story generated. I expected some controversy because such seems to be the nature of things when it comes to decisions regarding parenting. The sheer amount of feedback, however, was unanticipated.

Such feedback, however, is why I make this post. I wanted to thank those who provided their advice and opinions, positive or negative, as it provided my wife and I a great deal to consider.

First, a summary. My wife [33] and I [35] had a planned child, our daughter, now 4 months. I first expressed concern when I noticed my wife did not engage with our daughter is the same way I or my MIL did. There were multiple reasons behind this, including my wife's personal beliefs about child-rearing and her expectations of what child-rearing would consist of.

We decided as a team that adoption was our most reasonable option, but could not settle on in- or out-of-family adoption. Seeking advice from Reddit did little to clarify this issue for us, and resulted in a broader online discussion.

Now, the update. My wife broke the news to my MIL of our decision to adopt just prior to Thanksgiving. She reacted poorly, which is to be expected, and with a great deal of yelling. This did not endear her to my wife, who finds yelling annoying, but attempts to placate the yelling resulted in more yelling. In short, my MIL first blamed her deceased ex-husband for my wife "turning out like this" and then myself for our decision. I was called a number of names, learned that my MIL had disapproved of me from the start of the relationship, and otherwise trashed.

It went on to the point that Catherine eventually threatened to ensure my MIL never saw our daughter again if she would not be reasonable. That quieted my MIL enough for my wife to layout how the upcoming months would go. Our daughter was going up for adoption; this was non-negotiable. My MIL, having assisted in her care, could take custody if she so wished. My SIL would be a permissible alternate. Otherwise, we would pursue outside arrangements. As many predicted, my MIL opted to assume custody herself and we started that process after Thanksgiving.

The night of the argument, my MIL took Elizabeth and stayed at a hotel. We offered to pay expenses until such a time that my MIL had proper housing, but the offer was not well received. Shortly thereafter, my SIL called; in the end, she threatened to call the police if we attended the family Thanksgiving. I took my wife out to dinner for the holiday instead. I assume the same threat applies for the Christmas holiday as well, but cannot say for certain. Communication from MIL/SIL has been sparse since MIL left. From what we know, she and Elizabeth are staying with my SIL for the time being.

Moving forward, we are cooperating as much as possible to ensure the transition of legal custody over Elizabeth goes smoothly. MIL has thus far refused any and all offers of financial aid, but we are prepared to pay child support if/when the time arrives.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 18:41

wizardofloneliness: Dec 30, 2008

Funky Valentine posted:

There's also the story about OP's sister giving her daughter up for adoption when she had a son and not telling the family until after it was done.

This is the one I was thinking about that had a happy ending. OP and family were freaking out originally but ended up getting information about the kid and pursuing adoption.

DorkusMalorkus posted:

I can't find text of the original post, just an update (https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5ib2k7/kyupdate_laws_surrounding_giving_child_up_for/)

I thought this was a different one at first, but it looks like that's it. The original post that's linked there is pretty sparse, but all the details come out in the comments. He and his wife just seemed to totally not get it at all. All they cared about was getting it done before Christmas so it wouldn't be awkward for them, which is just mindboggling on multiple levels. Everything seems to have worked out for the best though and I hope to god they never have any more kids.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 19:08

hallo spacedog: Apr 3, 2007; this chaos is killing me
💫🐕🔪😱😱

I also thought it was different but yes from the missing posts it seems to be it. Thanks!

# ? Nov 28, 2021 19:37

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for improvising my scene in a play?

quote:

So this situation played out a couple days ago and I�m still dealing with the aftermath. A buddy of mine put on a small play/production as part of a course he was taking at community college. I�m not in the class, but he asked me to play a pretty small role with a couple lines in one scene. He wrote the play and I honestly thought it was pretty good, and as someone who writes in my own spare time I had a lot of story suggestions for him. In particular I wanted to expand the role of the character I was playing and add some more dialogue to my scene � not because I wanted to steal the spotlight, but I genuinely felt it would improve the play.

My friend was completely not receptive to the additions I was proposing, and he was pretty dismissive when I voiced my opinion. I will admit this annoyed me a bit, and perhaps made me feel more comfortable taking it upon myself to insert some improvisation into my scene. I essentially went ahead with the expanded monologue I had written as best I could remember, which caused my scene to go on 3-4 minutes longer than planned. However, I very naturally transitioned back into the written material, and every other actor involved seemed to understand what I was doing and flow really well with it (the audience seemed to like it also). Essentially the only person who was upset was my friend, who yelled at me afterwards and basically tried to claim I was disrespecting his vision. I tried to explain that my intention was to enhance the scene, not detract from what he had written, and I also explained that everyone else seemed to like what I did. He was not having it and pretty much hasn�t spoken to me since. I feel he�s being extremely unreasonable, and I think the conflict would have been avoided in the first place if he had considered my suggestions to begin with (if he had given me a legitimate reason why he didn�t like my proposals, I absolutely would not have gone through with it).

TL;DR: Expanded my role in a play with some improvisation, the playwright (my friend) is now pissed at me and claiming I disrespected his vision. I believe I improved the play.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 20:07

Blue Moonlight: Apr 28, 2005; Bitter and Sarcastic

Hughlander posted:

AITA for improvising my scene in a play?

The OP says �community college,� but the story says �high school, sophomore year�.

There are times that I miss doing theatre, but then I recall this sort of nonsense and get over it.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 20:30

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

Serious case of main character syndrome

# ? Nov 28, 2021 20:32

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

I really wanted the improvisation to be a fart that lasts three to four minutes.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 20:34

titty_baby_: Nov 11, 2015

Hughlander posted:

AITA for improvising my scene in a play?

3-4 minutes is a long time to add to a play, especially since its all a monologue

# ? Nov 28, 2021 20:34

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

What the hell do you talk about in a 4 minute monologue. 4 minutes is a long time to just continually talk.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 20:42

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

Midnight Voyager posted:

We have a more local company called "Wickles" that make pickles and pickled okra, but spicy. I'd start a fight over those things.

Re: pickled okra, I have tried many and Rick's Picks Smokra or bust, I will also throw hands over this

Also if you are around the NYC area in October there's an annual Pickle Day and that poo poo is amazing. All the local pickle folks come in and you can try their wares, as well as various pickle-based carnival foods. I had a peanut butter and pickle sandwich at that event one year and holy poo poo that is loving delicious, my eyes were opened.

StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 21:23 on Nov 28, 2021

# ? Nov 28, 2021 20:44

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Hughlander posted:

AITA for improvising my scene in a play?
(if he had given me a legitimate reason why he didn’t like my proposals, I absolutely would not have gone through with it).

Sssuuuuuuurrrrreee you wouldn't.

quote:

and every other actor involved seemed to understand what I was doing and flow really well with it (the audience seemed to like it also)

I'm sure this is also totally true.

limp_cheese fucked around with this message at 21:04 on Nov 28, 2021

# ? Nov 28, 2021 21:02

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Hughlander posted:

AITA for improvising my scene in a play?

There's a reason actors are often compared (fairly and unfairly) to prostitutes. You aren't there for you. Your body and voice are a tool for someone else.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 21:03

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

mind the walrus posted:

There's a reason actors are often compared (fairly and unfairly) to prostitutes. You aren't there for you. Your body and voice are a tool for someone else.

Eh I mean productions are a team effort where everyone should be able to give feedback and whatnot within their role's scope(though not expecting it to be utilized), but a small private project of a friend is the absolute last place to pull that poo poo lmao. Also way the gently caress out of scope lol.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 21:15

oh jay: Oct 15, 2012

The monologue in question:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B14asZIPVP8&t=53s

# ? Nov 28, 2021 21:21

MagusofStars: Mar 31, 2012

Grape posted:

Eh I mean productions are a team effort where everyone should be able to give feedback and whatnot within their role's scope(though not expecting it to be utilized), but a small private project of a friend is the absolute last place to pull that poo poo lmao. Also way the gently caress out of scope lol.

Sure, they're a team effort and you should be able to give feedback.

But that's miles different from what OP did in "taking it upon myself to add improvisation to the scene"...in a 3 to 4 minute monologue during the actual live performance, after explicitly being told ahead of time to stick to the script.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 21:28

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

A nice one!
Update: AITA for not wanting to change my name and asking fianc�e to change hers?

quote:

Hello, my original post got so much more attention than I expected and I figured you all deserved an update.

It was very rough for me to read literally thousands of messages calling me an rear end in a top hat. I even lost my cool a little bit (shoutout to the mods for not permabanning me for my tantrum even though it would have been fair). But my wife and I read every comment together and discussed things thoroughly.

I had not considered the patriarchal/historical angle of asking a woman to take a man�s name and give up her own. It�s just not something I�d been exposed to much. It turns out this was there �in the background� for my wife and was bothering her, but she wasn�t fully aware of it, much less how to explain it to me. So it wasn�t just about the paperwork/hassle of changing her name, she was also resisting because she felt weird about giving up her name. I had no idea that she felt that way and was glad some commenters gave her the language to actually talk about it with me.

Part of our process in resolving this difference was to do 23andme tests and build family trees. This ended up being really enjoyable and we both found out some great family stories and tidbits from relatives. I highly recommend for other couples to do this too. We both feel much more connected to our personal histories and therefore our last names now. And it was very moving for me to link our trees together and gave me that sense of romantic connectedness I was seeking through the names.

The end result? We got married two weeks ago without a legal name change. In the future, we are thinking of hyphenating our names...maybe. Neither of us are pressed to do it immediately as we are basking in the newness of our marriage. Our kids will also have hyphenated names too if we are blessed with some.

I am thrilled to be married to the love of my life even if we are not a matching �Mr. and Mrs.� for now. I would still like to be someday, but if we do then the hassle of changing our names will be something we suffer through together instead of an unequal burden.

Most of all this experience has massively changed the way my wife and I approach our differences or conflicts together. We work through things slowly, gently, and without assumptions until we understand each other and that has been the best thing to come out of this experience. So although I didn�t expect to say it�thank you to everyone who called me an rear end in a top hat a few months ago. My wife thanks you too.

ETA: Thank you sincerely for all the well wishes for my marriage 🙏 My wife will read them all too and we are grateful to anyone wishing us well

# ? Nov 28, 2021 21:35

PancakeTransmission: May 27, 2007; You gotta improvise, Lisa: cloves, Tom Collins mix, frozen pie crust...; Plaster Town Cop

Arsenic Lupin posted:

A nice one!
Update: AITA for not wanting to change my name and asking fiancée to change hers?

Lol that he somehow, in 2021, thought that women taking the men's name was unrelated to sexism/patriarchy

quote:

Part of our process in resolving this difference was to do 23andme tests and build family trees. This ended up being really enjoyable and we both found out some great family stories and tidbits from relatives.

Ugh, I must be in the minority but I couldn't give a poo poo about my non-living relatives in this way

# ? Nov 28, 2021 21:46

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

I tend to regard 23andMe as (A) we have always lived in the Panopticon and (B) great way to find out that Grandma cheated. So much buried ordnance there. There's a reason that smart public schools no longer do Punnet squares for parents eye color/family trees/blood types.

I don't have a say in the matter, because both my parents already did 23andMe.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 21:48

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Honestly that post ends up reading as a commercial for those creepy gene testing databases

# ? Nov 28, 2021 21:50

Dazerbeams: Jul 8, 2009

Don't ever willingly give up your DNA to the authorities.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 22:00

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Police can subpoena commercial DNA databases, so 23andme falls under the umbrella of "don't talk to the police".

# ? Nov 28, 2021 22:01

Xakura: Jan 10, 2019; A safety-conscious little mouse!

AITA for not calling my husband "my honored husband" in front of his parents?

quote:

I am a 28-year-old woman, and have been married to my husband, a 32-year-old man since 2018.

My husband is ethnically Japanese, and a second-generation American. His parents are from Osaka. He kind of sort of half speaks Japanese, mostly sentences he has memorized/greetings, and his parents speak great English.

On the other hand, I lived in Japan for three years, so I am conversationally pretty good. I have studied hard to get to the level I'm at, and I have passed level 2 of the Japanese Language Proficiency Test (not great, but not bad).

Lately, my husband is super into me calling him goshujin sama, which can be translated to "my honored husband." It's extremely unusual to call your own husband this, as it is usually reserved for other people's husbands as a respectful term, but it's kind of an anime/Japanese geek culture thing. I was OK with it in private because it makes him happy.

Last week went to his parents' house for dinner, and on the way over he asked if I could call him goshujin sama all evening. I immediately shot his idea down with a firm "no," because that would be SUPER embarrassing. His parents are native Japanese speakers in their 60s. I'm not going to subject them to what you'd pay a waitress in a maid cafe $20 for a cup of coffee to call you. To be honest, I don't think my husband really gets how the phrase is properly used, despite his insistence.

He kept trying to convince me, reminding me that he is Japanese and knows what is proper (despite the fact that I speak better Japanese than him), but I was having none of it. I just shut down and tuned him out.

We got there, and some time into the night I called his name to ask if he wanted a drink. Despite him being in hearing range, he ignored me. I said it again, and this time he looked at me, gave me this pleading shrug, and then turned back to the TV. I didn't get him a drink and just got myself one.

A while later, I said his name again, and he audibly sighed. He told me that he wanted me to call him what I call him at home, to which I responded I would most certainly not be calling him what I call him at home. This was ALL in front of his parents by the way.

On the car drive home, I told him that I wasn't going to call him goshujin sama anymore because he can't draw the line between fun playful couple stuff and his parents. He has sulked for the past week and I don't even know what to do. Normally I would not even consider the possibility that I was wrong here, but he's normally a very rational, reasonable, and respectful person. I feel like I'm being gaslighted and don't know what to do.

Edit: thank you all for the comments. I haven't been responding but I have read almost all of them, and have taken your opinions to heart. With that said, I have determined that I was the rear end in a top hat in this case. As some posters have noted, I am not ethnically Japanese, and it is wrong of me to assume I know more about Japan, Japanese marriages, and the Japanese language because of it.

I talked to my husband and we agreed that I would continue calling him goshujin-sama. I told him I would need time and request his patience for doing it in public and in front of other people. He has been incredibly understanding and I believe this has moved our marriage in the right direction.

Thank you again everybody. I'm so sorry for making you read all of this. I learned a lot from this post about marriage in general.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 22:26

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

WIBTA if I kept letting my partner watch adult videos?

quote:

Firstly, I�m not sure if I can use the P word here so please bear with me.

Recently I(f) was hanging out with some of my other female friends and we had gotten on the topic of adult content usage. It had come up because we saw a tiktok video of a guy saying that using it is disrespectful to your partner. My friends agreed that they wouldn�t want their boyfriends using videos or other media, but I feel differently about it.

Me and my partner are currently long distance and had had a proper discussion about nsfw content usage. We both agreed that using it is totally ok with the exception of a few things. For example, I don�t like my partner watching videos of women with huge chests because I am insecure about my smaller chest. He�s very respectful of this because I also avoid certain videos that he doesn�t like. We both felt that watching adult content was ok because we aren�t always available to attend to each other�s needs.

I told this to my friends and they had a pretty negative reaction. One of them said that I am letting my partner objectify women. Another one said that he�s probably just addicted to porn. But the one that hurt me the most was �maybe he�s just covering up the fact that he�s not that attracted to you.� Not once have I ever felt unattractive to my partner. He�s very affectionate and always compliments me, even when I look disgusting.

I know everyone has their own opinion on nsfw media, but I didn�t think mine was such a big deal.

Would I be TA if I let my partner continue using it?

# ? Nov 28, 2021 22:28

50s girl groupon: Jul 17, 2010; I woke up like this

Arsenic Lupin posted:

I tend to regard 23andMe as (A) we have always lived in the Panopticon and (B) great way to find out that Grandma cheated.

I found out my mom cheated because of 23andme, and that her mom cheated as well lmao

I�m sure the government is using the DNA for nefarious purposes but eh.

That post definitely feels SPONSORED BY 23ANDME but I gotta agree it is kinda fun to compare and contrast your ancestry and your spouse�s. Also OP shouldn�t be such a big baby and just take his wife�s name like I did. Last name drama is for dipshits.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 22:31

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Arsenic Lupin posted:

(B) great way to find out that Grandma cheated.

Yup this literally happened in my family lol. Both grandma and grandpa had been dead for a few years, and they were divorced for a few decades anyways. So, no real hard feelings to be had, and my younger aunts had kind of suspected it anyways. But, lol.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 22:38

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

50s girl groupon posted:

I�m sure the government is using the DNA for nefarious purposes but eh.

This doesn't keep me up at night, but once forensic genealogy came out, I realized that my parents' decisions meant that I, and my brother, and our four children, and all their children can be uniquely identified by any cop with a discarded cup and mild curiosity. The consequences aren't on my parents, they're on society. It's still scary.

It could have spread farther, but both my parents were only children. The closest cousins I have are second cousins, and there aren't many of them.

hasty edit: My brother's and my children are two separate sets of children, tyvm.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 22:39

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

Xakura posted:

AITA for not calling my husband "my honored husband" in front of his parents?

This one is really weird because the comments unambiguously say "NTA" and here she edits it to say "yes I was an rear end in a top hat I will be a good little wifey now." So the question is how did husband get her reddit pw?

# ? Nov 28, 2021 22:42

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Xakura posted:

AITA for not calling my husband "my honored husband" in front of his parents?

This post is bait 'cause it also means "Master".

# ? Nov 28, 2021 22:46

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Xakura posted:

AITA for not calling my husband "my honored husband" in front of his parents?

This reads like otaku fanfic

# ? Nov 28, 2021 22:54

50s girl groupon: Jul 17, 2010; I woke up like this

Piell posted:

WIBTA if I kept letting my partner watch adult videos?

OP had garbage friends. Imagine telling someone who is supposedly your friend that their partner doesn�t find them attractive, especially someone who already has body issues.

Go watch porn with your partner OP

# ? Nov 28, 2021 23:00

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Hellblazer187 posted:

This one is really weird because the comments unambiguously say "NTA" and here she edits it to say "yes I was an rear end in a top hat I will be a good little wifey now." So the question is how did husband get her reddit pw?

Ah right I was wondering if it had been weebswarmed. Must've been bait.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 23:03

sullat: Jan 9, 2012

mind the walrus posted:

There's a reason actors are often compared (fairly and unfairly) to prostitutes. You aren't there for you. Your body and voice are a tool for someone else.

Also because in the old days the used to do that too.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 23:03

CHUCK WAS TAKEN: Aug 1, 2004; this kid has heart

DorkusMalorkus posted:

I can't find text of the original post, just an update (https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/5ib2k7/kyupdate_laws_surrounding_giving_child_up_for/)

There's no way. It cannot be

I used to just lurk this thread for entertainment light entertainment, but this poo poo is getting so outlandish lately that it has to be just troll attempts right

# ? Nov 28, 2021 23:45

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Overly paranoid, untrained-in-firearms mom is now open carrying her new pistol in the house. yayyy

quote:

I [29] moved back in with my mom last year. My mom is nice enough, but she's not very smart or mentally stable. She's also very afraid of a lot irrational things, like the idea of a random murderer in our small town crawling through my small bathroom window while I'm at work and murdering her, and also strangers in general.

A few months ago she bought a revolver pistol. She said when she bought it that she was going to take a firearms safety course, but then never did. I talked to her encouragingly about taking this course, but she said she didn't need to because all she'll ever use the gun for ("hopefully") is to "shoot at the ground at someone's feet if I'm out walking in the forest trail and someone gets too close." (Oh no.)

Anyway, she basically tucked the gun away in a drawer forgotten about. Never took it on walks or anything. But today I got home from work and she's wearing it on her belt, with her shirt pulled up over the holster. It's kind of comical, but also my mom is a very anxious person who gets scared of the sound of our central heating warming up and shouts in fright every Thursday when I bring my trash around the front of the house in the morning. So I'm kind of afraid of getting shot right now.

This is mostly just a rant. I don't know what advice you could give me. I'm not gonna tell her it makes me uncomfortable because she's very defensive and will just yell and get mean and sad. I know I should move out, and I will, but my options are tightly limited right now. My only option is to cross my fingers and hope for the best I think.

So anyway, just no mom, please don't carry a loaded pistol you don't know how to use in our nice peaceful home

# ? Nov 28, 2021 23:59

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for being upset at my brother for potty training / wiping my 3 year old son's bum without asking my permission?

quote:

So some background information. I am a single mother of a 3 year old son. His father is not in her life and is in a different state trying to be a rapper/NBA player, whatever.

My brother has recently moved in with me. He isn't interested in having a wife and children of his own and is happy being forever single, going to work and then playing online video games after work for the rest of his life, so he is happy to help me out with raising my son, helping out with chores and to contribute financially to raising the child. Us living together also helps reduce the financial strain on me.

Now, my son is still too young to properly wipe his bum properly, so I still have to do it for him.

The other day, I hear the toilet flush and moments later I saw my brother and my son walking into the living room. I didn't think anything of it. I assumed it was my brother who had used the toilet. Later that day, close to my son's bed time, I asked him why he hadn't needed to poop yet. He told me that he had gone to poop earlier that afternoon. I was surprised. I asked him why he didn't tell me so that I could wipe his bum for him. What he said next made me feel very uneasy. He told me that my brother took him to the toilet and wiped his bum for him. I interrogated my son about this and he said that brother was showing him some video game and then when my son said he needed to go poop, my brother immediately offered to take him and to wipe his butt...

Now that made me feel very uncomfortable. I know that dads will naturally help potty train their own sons, but my son is not my brother's son and my brother wiping his nephew's butt just seems... like a red flag.

So I confronted my brother about this and he hand waved all my concerns as complete paranoia. He said he knew I was busy with my cardio on the treadmill and he thought he might as well step in and help my son so I wouldn't be interrupted. I then told my brother to please not to do it again and that the whole situation sounded like the start of some seriously unholy and messed-up true-crime story.

My brother got extremely upset, called me a paranoid rear end in a top hat. He told me about how men constantly get unfairly accused of being a "t0ddler f0ndler" for any kind of interaction with kids, like when they take them to a park and so forth. He reminded me that he was doing me a favour helping me take care of my little "Jigaboo" and that I most likely won't find many other Caucasian men willing to do so. He made me feel bad for my reaction and so I apologized, but in retrospect I still think him wiping my son's but without even asking my permission was a red flag, but I'm still confused about it.

Was my brother just being helpful and I overreacted, or is this a red flag?

The racist poo poo just kinda slides in there.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 23:59

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 28, 2024 04:51

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for being upset at my brother for potty training / wiping my 3 year old son's bum without asking my permission?

The racist poo poo just kinda slides in there.

that definitely took a turn

# ? Nov 29, 2021 00:02

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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