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Nuns with Guns
Jul 23, 2010

It's fine.
Don't worry about it.

Nemo2342 posted:

I kickstarted this and the black and white sketch companion volume, and they are wonderful showcases of Elmore's art. The biography is a bit rough, but that seemed fairly in-character so it didn't really detract from the book.

Honestly that kind of looks awesome to me, I love books that provide sidebars and context to art pieces alongside the works themselves. I'm a bit surprised how many of the ones BardicBroadcasts looked at where Elmore went "Yeah I hated this thing so I painted over a huge block of the image."

Lemon-Lime posted:

Couldn't see a single orb being pondered in that video. Shameful.

I'm sorry Lemon, let me correct that error:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9UAcubDVUk0

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tuyop
Sep 15, 2006

Every second that we're not growing BASIL is a second wasted

Fun Shoe
Is there a thread for co-op board games discussion? I’m looking for a recommendation.

CitizenKeen
Nov 13, 2003

easygoing pedant

tuyop posted:

Is there a thread for co-op board games discussion? I’m looking for a recommendation.

Just the board game thread, I think. You'll get plenty of fine advice there.

Rand Brittain
Mar 25, 2013

"Go on until you're stopped."
Is it just me or does DTRPG have every book for L5R 4e except The Book of Water?

Plutonis
Mar 25, 2011

Rand Brittain posted:

Is it just me or does DTRPG have every book for L5R 4e except The Book of Water?

It's a dry season.

Maxwell Lord
Dec 12, 2008

I am drowning.
There is no sign of land.
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand.

And I hope you die.

I hope we both die.


:smith:

Grimey Drawer
Do not become addicted to water!

tuyop
Sep 15, 2006

Every second that we're not growing BASIL is a second wasted

Fun Shoe

CitizenKeen posted:

Just the board game thread, I think. You'll get plenty of fine advice there.

Oop how did I miss that

Nemo2342
Nov 26, 2007

Have A Day




Nap Ghost

Nuns with Guns posted:

Honestly that kind of looks awesome to me, I love books that provide sidebars and context to art pieces alongside the works themselves. I'm a bit surprised how many of the ones BardicBroadcasts looked at where Elmore went "Yeah I hated this thing so I painted over a huge block of the image."

It makes more sense when you think about the fact that he got to keep the original painting for a lot of those freelance novel covers, and probably didn’t have a lot of attachment to the original concept.

Leperflesh
May 17, 2007

Some artists just do that, too. My wife's mom was a painter and she'd stand in the living room and alter paintings that were hanging on the wall. There'd just be some part of it that she wasn't satisfied with.

It's like lucas and the original trilogy, except that sometimes the artist actually improves the original painting.

Xiahou Dun
Jul 16, 2009

We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.



Leperflesh posted:

Some artists just do that, too. My wife's mom was a painter and she'd stand in the living room and alter paintings that were hanging on the wall. There'd just be some part of it that she wasn't satisfied with.

It's like lucas and the original trilogy, except that sometimes the artist actually improves the original painting.

I mean, if your medium is an actual physical thing chilling there in front of you it makes perfect sense. Once you phrased it like that, I realized I’d secretly wanted to do that with music forever but I can’t rewind time so it never occurred to me like that cause I just do it again instead.

SkyeAuroline
Nov 12, 2020

I'll try not to get too E/N, and if I need to go to the philosophy thread instead that's fine. (I may do so anyway because "frame of mind of participants" can be an interesting topic.)

Doing more deliberation on why I can't run games, solo or group, over the last few days while some GURPS ideas marinate in my brain, and unlike the last time I posted I think I've actually figured out what my problem is. Can't manage to make characters, whether as a player or a GM, who have the agency to do anything and the initiative to use that agency - unfortunate reflection of real life in that way, I suppose (but, trying not to get too into the E/N weeds). Explained it to a friend like "describe a rainbow to me without using any color-related words" - I don't have the experience/mental "vocabulary" to create that kind of driven, free-choice character. This is probably why I keep chasing after sandbox games and falling flat on my face both running and playing them, and why I always play the "straight man" in games - I'm good at reacting, not acting. Unfortunately "purely reactive character" is not enjoyable in the slightest and it's been really burning my will to play over our last few games.

I have no idea if there is any way to train myself out of this, or something, but I feel better at least knowing what my issue is. Now I just have to figure out how the hell to do anything about it. Don't know if anyone else has gone through similar experiences and might have advice.
and I still have to figure out my game writing projects but we are NOT repeating Western discourse

Alien Rope Burn
Dec 5, 2004

I wanna be a saikyo HERO!

Rand Brittain posted:

Is it just me or does DTRPG have every book for L5R 4e except The Book of Water?

Looks like this should be the page for it, but it got borked somehow:

https://www.drivethrurpg.com/m/product/126504

hyphz
Aug 5, 2003

Number 1 Nerd Tear Farmer 2022.

Keep it up, champ.

Also you're a skeleton warrior now. Kree.
Unlockable Ben

SkyeAuroline posted:

Doing more deliberation on why I can't run games, solo or group, over the last few days while some GURPS ideas marinate in my brain, and unlike the last time I posted I think I've actually figured out what my problem is. Can't manage to make characters, whether as a player or a GM, who have the agency to do anything and the initiative to use that agency - unfortunate reflection of real life in that way, I suppose (but, trying not to get too into the E/N weeds). Explained it to a friend like "describe a rainbow to me without using any color-related words" - I don't have the experience/mental "vocabulary" to create that kind of driven, free-choice character. This is probably why I keep chasing after sandbox games and falling flat on my face both running and playing them, and why I always play the "straight man" in games - I'm good at reacting, not acting. Unfortunately "purely reactive character" is not enjoyable in the slightest and it's been really burning my will to play over our last few games.

How does this manifest in terms of feeling on deciding actions in play? There are game factors that make this easier or harder.

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

yeah thats pretty good


SkyeAuroline posted:

I have no idea if there is any way to train myself out of this, or something, but I feel better at least knowing what my issue is. Now I just have to figure out how the hell to do anything about it. Don't know if anyone else has gone through similar experiences and might have advice.
and I still have to figure out my game writing projects but we are NOT repeating Western discourse

The best advice I ever got about making characters for RPGs (and I think I learned it from a book of writing advice, maybe le guin?) is to start with what they lack rather than what they have. And the deeper and more abstract the lack the better. A character that lacks something tangible will give you one direction forward, a character who lacks something abstract that can be fulfilled tangibly (e.g. a character who lacks security but that can be fulfilled by acquiring wealth which is tangible) will give you a general direction but will not a straight line (in this example, while more wealth would fulfill some of the need for security, it can come into conflict with other avenues of acquiring security like community membership or a good reputation or eliminating rivals, and how the character weighs those strategies is going to be worth finding out through play), and a character that has abstract lacks without an easy tangible metaphor will provide a good set of active motivations without limit (though with less guidance, so that may not help you as much).

Start with what the character needs and wants, and come up with how that interacts with the system in a difficult-to-fulfill way. A character who has violent urges that they struggle to suppress is going to have too easy of a time with those urges in a system that rewards combat for example, or if they desire great wealth then a system that's about gaining money to get rich will also feel pretty flat. You want some texture there - a character that has violent urges in a world where most problems are solved with words, or they ant to get rich and "rich" isn't a stat that all characters are oriented around but a tag or something. If the character's lack plays directly into a game central mechanic then your decisions become just kind of flat optimizations, you want some friction so that you can get some grip when your character tries to do things.

Anyway that's my paradigm for fictional characters, they're active because they want something and they want something because they don't have it and they don't have it because at some level they can't have it.

SkyeAuroline
Nov 12, 2020

hyphz posted:

How does this manifest in terms of feeling on deciding actions in play? There are game factors that make this easier or harder.

I'm not totally sure I understood the question correctly but I'll try anyway. I apologize for the run-on sentences.
I haven't been a player much recently, besides one comedy one-shot with another goon and some friends. (Playing Wyrlocks, with our little Black Mage knockoffs crashing a Vegas magic convention in search of "real wizards".) In that one-shot for the most part I just followed other people's actions, because I didn't have anything "funny" to fit the theme. I did have one spotlight sequence (we all had at least one), in which I just went with the first thing to come to mind (throwing card tricks); I wasn't disappointed per se but in hindsight I do wish I'd come up with something more interesting. My brain tends to default back to "fight the problem" even though I'd really rather not fight everything in my way, and that definitely causes brain-tension. Overall it was "fine", I got bored with doing the path of least resistance but I was just there to hang out for that game, so "go with the flow" wasn't a big deal.
In general I just fall back to "do what the group wants to do, fill in with my specialty where I can" which... doesn't work well. Prior to Wyrlocks the same group tried Hard Wired Island, where I played as a thief (a parkour courier who was part of the main crew, initially trying to play as a mixed social & stealth archetype and later refocusing to stealth). I have a really hard time getting in the brain of my characters at all - I think I brought this up prior in this thread, but it was probably quite a while ago. It's pretty much like... third person narration from a first person perspective, if that makes sense? There's no connection to feelings or emotions that I can play on, I'm just remote-controlling them. So the social archetype fell apart pretty fast and I let others take over. Stealth archetype just didn't have much use, since it's a very player-driven thing to do and I kept not being able to come up with anything to do in play, which was frustrating as hell. It got bad enough I had to drop from the game and let the others continue without me, because I just couldn't contribute or do anything, not through any fault of anyone else.

I have no idea if that answers your question through examples or if I have to try and be more direct (...somehow) in answering it.

edit because reply while typing:

Tulip posted:

The best advice I ever got about making characters for RPGs (and I think I learned it from a book of writing advice, maybe le guin?) is to start with what they lack rather than what they have. And the deeper and more abstract the lack the better. A character that lacks something tangible will give you one direction forward, a character who lacks something abstract that can be fulfilled tangibly (e.g. a character who lacks security but that can be fulfilled by acquiring wealth which is tangible) will give you a general direction but will not a straight line (in this example, while more wealth would fulfill some of the need for security, it can come into conflict with other avenues of acquiring security like community membership or a good reputation or eliminating rivals, and how the character weighs those strategies is going to be worth finding out through play), and a character that has abstract lacks without an easy tangible metaphor will provide a good set of active motivations without limit (though with less guidance, so that may not help you as much).

Start with what the character needs and wants, and come up with how that interacts with the system in a difficult-to-fulfill way. A character who has violent urges that they struggle to suppress is going to have too easy of a time with those urges in a system that rewards combat for example, or if they desire great wealth then a system that's about gaining money to get rich will also feel pretty flat. You want some texture there - a character that has violent urges in a world where most problems are solved with words, or they ant to get rich and "rich" isn't a stat that all characters are oriented around but a tag or something. If the character's lack plays directly into a game central mechanic then your decisions become just kind of flat optimizations, you want some friction so that you can get some grip when your character tries to do things.

Anyway that's my paradigm for fictional characters, they're active because they want something and they want something because they don't have it and they don't have it because at some level they can't have it.

These are good suggestions and things that I need to keep in mind. I don't know how much it'll help the "lack of ability to come up with ideas or act on them" but being able to tap into a wider array of ideas, by setting a broader path to follow in the first place, may be very helpful once I get over that hurdle.

Tulip
Jun 3, 2008

yeah thats pretty good


I think it helps to start with a fiction archetype and work from there. Don't start with an RPG archetype that will just put you back where you started. Think of a character from a TV show or book who consistently over reaches. Quark or Ahab or Walter White, and think about how they draw a line between what they lack and causing immediate problems.

Quark lacks social approval. He's kind of not that good at business, which means that within Ferengi culture he's quite low status. He's unable to break himself of his commitment to those values like Nog, so he is instead over rigid about following those norms and excessively defensive about how the Ferengi are viewed by Star Fleet. A better Ferengi would just make money off of Star Fleet and quietly brag on Ferengar about how stupid those hoo-mans are. Quark instead acts impulsively, making him penny-wise and pound-foolish, and has to fight Odo and Benjamin and Julian over the virtues of his cultural norms because he knows his own success doesn't stand on its own.

So having done this, I'd put my own twist on it but I think I'd be ready to sit at a table and produce decent actions by asking "how would Quark gently caress this up. "

hyphz
Aug 5, 2003

Number 1 Nerd Tear Farmer 2022.

Keep it up, champ.

Also you're a skeleton warrior now. Kree.
Unlockable Ben

SkyeAuroline posted:

So the social archetype fell apart pretty fast and I let others take over. Stealth archetype just didn't have much use, since it's a very player-driven thing to do and I kept not being able to come up with anything to do in play, which was frustrating as hell. It got bad enough I had to drop from the game and let the others continue without me, because I just couldn't contribute or do anything, not through any fault of anyone else..

Is perception of opportunity a thing in this? Because it’s certainly an issue in RPGs (and RL!)

SkyeAuroline
Nov 12, 2020

hyphz posted:

Is perception of opportunity a thing in this? Because it’s certainly an issue in RPGs (and RL!)

To make sure I'm understanding what you're saying: whether I'm not seeing opportunities to actually do things that are there? Yeah, that's pretty likely. That killed my will to play Cyberpunk RED in another still-ongoing game, where I played a Media but found nowhere to actually use any of my Media abilities (because every use of them I could think of would actively undermine the rest of our group - even with us talking beforehand to make sure I would fit into the group fine, plot developments meant we really had to keep off the radar and were in water where contacts weren't much help). I did get a little bit of "tapping my info networks" in but there was definitely a lack of opportunity to use abilities that maybe I just wasn't seeing opportunities. Unfortunately I'm long out of that game by now and can't really go back for round 2 and try again. Running theme in general - even if I find later "oh poo poo, I could have done x", these aren't video games and we don't get redos. Which is... less than great, of course.

Xiahou Dun
Jul 16, 2009

We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.



SkyeAuroline posted:

To make sure I'm understanding what you're saying: whether I'm not seeing opportunities to actually do things that are there? Yeah, that's pretty likely. That killed my will to play Cyberpunk RED in another still-ongoing game, where I played a Media but found nowhere to actually use any of my Media abilities (because every use of them I could think of would actively undermine the rest of our group - even with us talking beforehand to make sure I would fit into the group fine, plot developments meant we really had to keep off the radar and were in water where contacts weren't much help). I did get a little bit of "tapping my info networks" in but there was definitely a lack of opportunity to use abilities that maybe I just wasn't seeing opportunities. Unfortunately I'm long out of that game by now and can't really go back for round 2 and try again. Running theme in general - even if I find later "oh poo poo, I could have done x", these aren't video games and we don't get redos. Which is... less than great, of course.

It's miles from a perfect solution to your problems, but this specific instance seems like a great opportunity to talk to your group and say stuff like, "I'd really like to use ability X here, but I don't want to mess with our situation." Maybe someone has a good idea, or maybe they'd actually love you to shake things up and think it's a cool idea. Remember, the goal is always to have fun, and that is at most correlated with performing the function you set out to do as a group ; some of the best stories are created by people taking an authorial stance and not just treating characters as disposable, but actively trying to make them go boom. As long as you discuss it with the group and they're cool, treat your character like a car you stole from someone you don't like.

xiw
Sep 25, 2011

i wake up at night
night action madness nightmares
maybe i am scum

Cpig Haiku contest 2020 winner

SkyeAuroline posted:

To make sure I'm understanding what you're saying: whether I'm not seeing opportunities to actually do things that are there? Yeah, that's pretty likely. That killed my will to play Cyberpunk RED in another still-ongoing game, where I played a Media but found nowhere to actually use any of my Media abilities (because every use of them I could think of would actively undermine the rest of our group - even with us talking beforehand to make sure I would fit into the group fine, plot developments meant we really had to keep off the radar and were in water where contacts weren't much help). I did get a little bit of "tapping my info networks" in but there was definitely a lack of opportunity to use abilities that maybe I just wasn't seeing opportunities. Unfortunately I'm long out of that game by now and can't really go back for round 2 and try again. Running theme in general - even if I find later "oh poo poo, I could have done x", these aren't video games and we don't get redos. Which is... less than great, of course.

Part of this is the focus on internal vs external conflict in RPGs - in games where there's a high level of external threat and the GM is expected to set up challenges like D&D or Shadowrun the general assumption is that the PCs will gel together into a single group and focus on handling the external problems, which leads to people stepping forward when their niche is useful and potentially not getting to do much when it's not. It's kind of a shame in cyberpunk - you'd hope from the fiction that you'd have that internal disagreement between PCs and be able to get interesting gameplay out of that exampler. In your example there's a real tension between 'we should go public with my story' vs 'we have to keep off the radar' and my fave moments in TTRPGs are often when you do get that internal disagreement without it dissolving into D&D intraparty fights.

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

SkyeAuroline posted:

To make sure I'm understanding what you're saying: whether I'm not seeing opportunities to actually do things that are there? Yeah, that's pretty likely. That killed my will to play Cyberpunk RED in another still-ongoing game, where I played a Media but found nowhere to actually use any of my Media abilities (because every use of them I could think of would actively undermine the rest of our group - even with us talking beforehand to make sure I would fit into the group fine, plot developments meant we really had to keep off the radar and were in water where contacts weren't much help). I did get a little bit of "tapping my info networks" in but there was definitely a lack of opportunity to use abilities that maybe I just wasn't seeing opportunities. Unfortunately I'm long out of that game by now and can't really go back for round 2 and try again. Running theme in general - even if I find later "oh poo poo, I could have done x", these aren't video games and we don't get redos. Which is... less than great, of course.
When this kind of thing happens I find it helpful to crowdsource. Just say to the group "Hey us there anything you guys can think of for me to do? I'm drawing a blank". In fiction your character cane up with it though.

hyphz
Aug 5, 2003

Number 1 Nerd Tear Farmer 2022.

Keep it up, champ.

Also you're a skeleton warrior now. Kree.
Unlockable Ben
I thought it was also to do with the (possibly too-philosophical) question of how opportunity is presented.

Suppose you've got a character who's a stealth expert. In the real world, there'd be a single view and experience of the corp's reception desk where the stealth expert might be able to identify areas where they would be unseen, where others would not identify those.

In an RPG, though, it tends to be torn between two options:
a) the GM has to specifically mention "you think you could sneak here.." (or "and there's a grate leading into a dark shaft.."), which makes doing so feel reactive rather than proactive.
b) the player has to suggest sneaking even though it wasn't mentioned, which makes the sandbox setting feel very weird and can add political issues for quieter players.

Threading the needle between those two seems rather tricky.

bewilderment
Nov 22, 2007
man what



I see no issue in the GM just explicitly stating the scenarios they're thinking of catering for. Like saying "you could brute force your way in, or try to socially finesse things, or try being sneaky, if you're prepared to go loud if any of those go sideways".

Nothing wrong with putting all the options on the table.

Xiahou Dun
Jul 16, 2009

We shall dive down through black abysses... and in that lair of the Deep Ones we shall dwell amidst wonder and glory forever.



When in doubt just talk and shoot out ideas to workshop. PbtA and other fiction first gaming helped me a lot cause you can totally figure out what the approach is, resolve any rolls, figure out the consequences and then the actual narration/description of the action is one fluid thing after the fact.

Hel
Oct 9, 2012

Jokatgulm is tedium.
Jokatgulm is pain.
Jokatgulm is suffering.

I just go something like " the obvious options you notice are A,B and C" and that usually leads to player's mixing and matching or using them as a springboard.

Coolness Averted
Feb 20, 2007

oh don't worry, I can't smell asparagus piss, it's in my DNA

GO HOGG WILD!
🐗🐗🐗🐗🐗

Hel posted:

I just go something like " the obvious options you notice are A,B and C" and that usually leads to player's mixing and matching or using them as a springboard.

Yeah I've found even with narrative games putting "hey so these are the things I can think of that are appropriate, do you have other ideas?" helps a lot. I think early on I leaned a little too into "play to find out" and interpretting that as planning very little including not making anything important until the other players focused on them, and it sometimes hurt the games and led to decision paralysis on their part or disappointment that the games were too meandering rather than having a full narrative arc.

SkyeAuroline
Nov 12, 2020

I think we got dragged into the weeds a bit by drilling down on the inconsequential parts and not the significantly more troublesome "I literally cannot envision running a character, let alone multiple or a world of them, with any agency; the concept does not process in my brain" that's completely independent of "how much I 'mother may I' my group for given actions" or "how much I ask other people to play my character for me".

Y'all's call on what's interesting to talk about, of course.

Subjunctive
Sep 12, 2006

✨sparkle and shine✨

Xiahou Dun posted:

It's miles from a perfect solution to your problems, but this specific instance seems like a great opportunity to talk to your group and say stuff like, "I'd really like to use ability X here, but I don't want to mess with our situation."

Yeah, someone might suggest using your media contacts to keep your run off the radar (“I’ll give you an exclusive when it’s over but there won’t be much to tell if it leaks now”) or put someone else on the radar as a distraction—or an actually good idea. Collaboration even for thinking up what a single given character does is part of good group role playing, I think.

hyphz
Aug 5, 2003

Number 1 Nerd Tear Farmer 2022.

Keep it up, champ.

Also you're a skeleton warrior now. Kree.
Unlockable Ben

SkyeAuroline posted:

I think we got dragged into the weeds a bit by drilling down on the inconsequential parts and not the significantly more troublesome "I literally cannot envision running a character, let alone multiple or a world of them, with any agency; the concept does not process in my brain"

I was trying to guess at what might be causing it. What do you think a character with agency would do or feel or achieve that one without it would not? Or is that also difficult to answer?

SkyeAuroline
Nov 12, 2020

hyphz posted:

I was trying to guess at what might be causing it. What do you think a character with agency would do or feel or achieve that one without it would not? Or is that also difficult to answer?

I'm probably still explaining badly - I sure as hell don't know how to word it and "agency" may not be the right term or even close. (Tried sleeping on it and I'm pretty sure this is more disjointed than if I hadn't.) Again without treading too e/n, enough wrong with my brain to make explaining why it doesn't work the way it should difficult.

Just sick of spinning up projects, especially solo projects where it should nominally be easy for me to chase my gaming white whales without having to worry about what other people need, and the answer to "I have a setting and a system, now what can I do in this setting and system" coming up as "nothing" every time. Doesn't make a difference what setting or system or what "drives" I give a character, the best I can do is react to the starting situation and then nothing evolves, nothing new comes up to follow up on, I'm just stuck. Like I said, marginally less of a problem for group games since I can just react to what other people are doing, but that's not enjoyable either versus being able to direct even a little of the action.

gradenko_2000
Oct 5, 2010

HELL SERPENT
Lipstick Apathy
I was talking to some friends about early 2000s internet speeds and it triggered a memory of me staying up all night to download a program that was a digital character sheet for D&D 3rd Edition characters. Like, it wasn't a spreadsheet, and didn't use the Windows interface nor the UX (like the 4e character creator does) but was this full-screen program that had the whole dungeony theme of the PHB around it and the buttons would make sound effects like you pressing a stone block or something, which is why it was a more-than-100-megabyte download circa 2004

does anyone else remember this or do I just have a false memory

My Lovely Horse
Aug 21, 2010

I have never encountered this but can vividly imagine the kind of sound effect you describe, all with audible background noise clearly denoting the sample's start and end point

I have no trouble believing this existed

Five Eyes
Oct 26, 2017
I think I remember the 3e PHB including a cd-rom with a character creator thing? Was it that?

gradenko_2000
Oct 5, 2010

HELL SERPENT
Lipstick Apathy
I found it!

At the bottom-half of this blog post: https://seangamingcorner.blogspot.com/2016/10/old-ad-2nd-edition-character-creation.html



Glagha
Oct 13, 2008

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAaaAAAaaAAaAA
AAAAAAAaAAAAAaaAAA
AAAA
AaAAaaA
AAaaAAAAaaaAAAAAAA
AaaAaaAAAaaaaaAA

Holy poo poo I've used that piece of software I think and totally forgot that it existed

Whybird
Aug 2, 2009

Phaiston have long avoided the tightly competetive defence sector, but the IRDA Act 2052 has given us the freedom we need to bring out something really special.

https://team-robostar.itch.io/robostar


Nap Ghost

SkyeAuroline posted:

I'm probably still explaining badly - I sure as hell don't know how to word it and "agency" may not be the right term or even close. (Tried sleeping on it and I'm pretty sure this is more disjointed than if I hadn't.) Again without treading too e/n, enough wrong with my brain to make explaining why it doesn't work the way it should difficult.

So are you saying that that you see a setting and can't come up with some interesting character goals for someone in the setting? Or having created a character in the setting, you can't then decide how they would go about accomplishing their goals?

Splicer
Oct 16, 2006

from hell's heart I cast at thee
🧙🐀🧹🌙🪄🐸

SkyeAuroline posted:

I'm probably still explaining badly - I sure as hell don't know how to word it and "agency" may not be the right term or even close. (Tried sleeping on it and I'm pretty sure this is more disjointed than if I hadn't.) Again without treading too e/n, enough wrong with my brain to make explaining why it doesn't work the way it should difficult.

Just sick of spinning up projects, especially solo projects where it should nominally be easy for me to chase my gaming white whales without having to worry about what other people need, and the answer to "I have a setting and a system, now what can I do in this setting and system" coming up as "nothing" every time. Doesn't make a difference what setting or system or what "drives" I give a character, the best I can do is react to the starting situation and then nothing evolves, nothing new comes up to follow up on, I'm just stuck. Like I said, marginally less of a problem for group games since I can just react to what other people are doing, but that's not enjoyable either versus being able to direct even a little of the action.
Oh I definitely misunderstood your problem. So it's that you can only play reactively rather than proactively? That's a pretty common problem with RPGs and people playing them, so much so that I doubt most people even consider it a problem.

It's not just RPGs. Most mainstream fiction features reactive heroes vs proactive villains. To go full Wendy's, it's a symptom of most of the real problems in the world (and fake problems in fictional worlds) being systemic issues that the author and the industry that supports them have no real problems with, or don't even think of questioning. Kill the bad usurper to put the rightful and just king back on the throne - good. Kill all the nobility because monarchy is an inherently unfair system - that's a "villain plan" that the heroes react to and prevent. Blow up an oil pipeline that only a couple dozen rich people want and everyone else thinks is a bad idea? Well your heart is in the right place but you're going too far, you should work within the system to solve this issue. Actual meaningful change within the "good" empire is not really a narrative priority.

To be less "and a large fries", another issue is that RPGs (e: and most serialised media) are based on genre assumptions, and meaningful change transforms the genre. Detonate EMPs over the world's major financial centers? Well you've "solved" one of the main cyberpunk issues, but now you're playing apocalypse world. e: which is not a bad thing

A third issue is that the world is complicated and broken and most of the time there's not a whole amount one person can do to fix it, and it's easy to carry this across to fictional world power fantasies where the entire point is for one person to be able to do something about it.

Practical advice? "Drives" aren't working for you, come up with a concrete goal with various prerequisite subgoals and pass it to the GM and make the sky the goddamned limit.

tl;dr: Your brain has been programmed to see heroes as maintainers of the status quo and also you're depressed because the world sucks. Go smash some fictional class systems via magic, murder, and mayhem to cheer yourself up.

Splicer fucked around with this message at 16:47 on Nov 29, 2021

Siivola
Dec 23, 2012

You've got depression. See a doctor.

SkyeAuroline
Nov 12, 2020

Siivola posted:

You've got depression. See a doctor.

Diagnosed and poorly medicated severe depression and ADHD, diagnosed autism. I know my poo poo's hosed and I do see a doctor. Just trying not to wallow in "brain broke do nothing" and figure out how to actually do something. And keeping it board relevant by focusing it on "making one of my favorite hobbies work".

Whybird posted:

So are you saying that that you see a setting and can't come up with some interesting character goals for someone in the setting? Or having created a character in the setting, you can't then decide how they would go about accomplishing their goals?

The latter. I can usually have a broad goal - tying into next quote, I did spin up some Godbound character-crafting a while ago with the end goal of "have a folk hero overthrow the iron boyars of Nezdohva". Stumbling block: step 1 of doing literally anything, not helped by an entire nation of robot-Tsarist-Russia getting one two-column page of details to cover every possible thing to use as a "lever". (And not helped by Godbound's systems being jacked in general.)


Splicer posted:

Oh I definitely misunderstood your problem. So it's that you can only play reactively rather than proactively? That's a pretty common problem with RPGs and people playing them, so much so that I doubt most people even consider it a problem.

It's not just RPGs. Most mainstream fiction features reactive heroes vs proactive villains. To go full Wendy's, it's a symptom of most of the real problems in the world (and fake problems in fictional worlds) being systemic issues that the author and the industry that supports them have no real problems with, or don't even think of questioning. Kill the bad usurper to put the rightful and just king back on the throne - good. Kill all the nobility because monarchy is an inherently unfair system - that's a "villain plan" that the heroes react to and prevent. Blow up an oil pipeline that only a couple dozen rich people want and everyone else thinks is a bad idea? Well your heart is in the right place but you're going too far, you should work within the system to solve this issue. Actual meaningful change within the "good" empire is not really a narrative priority.

To be less "and a large fries", another issue is that RPGs (e: and most serialised media) are based on genre assumptions, and meaningful change transforms the genre. Detonate EMPs over the world's major financial centers? Well you've "solved" one of the main cyberpunk issues, but now you're playing apocalypse world. e: which is not a bad thing

A third issue is that the world is complicated and broken and most of the time there's not a whole amount one person can do to fix it, and it's easy to carry this across to fictional world power fantasies where the entire point is for one person to be able to do something about it.

Practical advice? "Drives" aren't working for you, come up with a concrete goal with various prerequisite subgoals and pass it to the GM and make the sky the goddamned limit.

tl;dr: Your brain has been programmed to see heroes as maintainers of the status quo and also you're depressed because the world sucks. Go smash some fictional class systems via magic, murder, and mayhem to cheer yourself up.

Congratulations, bold text you found my perfect games, how did you know I treasure my copy of Spire so much? That's the goal, part of that now is finding a GM to do it. We were trying to make it happen with Hard Wired Island but got sidetracked fast from my preferred "class struggle in a space city" to "hunting robot cryptids in the maintenance corridors". Might be doing it again when the new Tribe 8 edition releases since our GM is a huge fan and really wants to do it justice, and I enjoy the social themes of the game and seeking liberation for the people of the tribes. Let's hope they don't gently caress up the new edition...

You did hit the problem this time around - I'm sure it's common, it's just aggressively bad for me that makes it a "problem" for me. When it's impacting your ability to enjoy something, etc etc. Concrete goals, probably a better idea than "picking a direction" so to speak, yes. I appreciate the Wendy's sidebar, don't feel bad about it - it's analysis worth having and that I agree with. Difficult to break out of those frames of mind sometimes to see it from an angle of "how can we do meaningful change as heroes". Which... often comes back to status quo, yeah.

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hyphz
Aug 5, 2003

Number 1 Nerd Tear Farmer 2022.

Keep it up, champ.

Also you're a skeleton warrior now. Kree.
Unlockable Ben

Glagha posted:

Holy poo poo I've used that piece of software I think and totally forgot that it existed

I remember it too! It came on a CD-ROM in the back of the first printings of the 3e PHB. It was incredibly helpful (although it was very confusing if you were used to D&D 2e)

What I don't remember is ever downloading it like Gradenko mentioned. Maybe that came later?

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