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World’s most generic new parent worry but my newborn eats too much. Cluster feeding, but every day and night for the past 7-10 days of his 14 day life. Eats steadily for 20-45 minutes, seems content, crying and rooting again in 20-60 minutes, repeat. Some breaks (3-4 hours of sleep sometimes, often less), but just eats so often. I don’t think it’s a medical issue, he’s gaining weight normally and his stool is fine. It’s just so frustrating, wearing out his mom and making her cranky, and I spend my nights and half the day with an infant screaming or rooting, and/or with a wife frustrated at her very sore nipples. Pediatrician says it’s too early for bottles but I may push back on that hard. There wouldn’t be a problem if I could satisfy him without waking my wife constantly but not much I can do without a bottle. This sucks.
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Nov 29, 2021 05:28
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Too early for bottles? Really? I had to supplement my son with bottles of expressed breast milk at that age because his crappily released tongue tie meant he'd get tired and fall off before he had a proper feed. We never experienced nipple confusion or anything like that, he was still 100% passionate about and 90% incompetent at breastfeeding.
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Nov 29, 2021 06:41
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I wonder if the doctor is expecting your wife's supply to increase, and is worried it won't if you supplement now. Tiny babies are always hungry though. Sleepy or hungry. e: the doctor should say that's why they're not recommending bottle feeding until you know there's a supply issue, but to just say it's too early for bottle feeding is ridiculous.
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Nov 29, 2021 06:49
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Academician Nomad posted:World’s most generic new parent worry but my newborn eats too much. Cluster feeding, but every day and night for the past 7-10 days of his 14 day life. Eats steadily for 20-45 minutes, seems content, crying and rooting again in 20-60 minutes, repeat. Some breaks (3-4 hours of sleep sometimes, often less), but just eats so often. That schedule sounds about right, I think that’s just kind of how breastfeeding is supposed to go. We did that schedule for a month or so until my wife started to lose it and then she pumped milk intensely so that I could feed at night. Pumping has its own set of ridiculous schedule and comfort and logistical challenges that rival breastfeeding so it’s not a magic bullet but it can help. We also started supplementing with formula which makes the intervals a bit longer because they can eat more of it quicker. I don’t want you to have to get into A formula vs. B Milk debate with your significant other but it does help a lot with sleep, sharing responsibility with a male partner, and peace of mind that they’re eating enough. Ideally you could do both but it is hard to maintain production (see pumping woes above). “Too early for bottles” doesn’t make a lot of sense because that means that single fathers can never successfully feed newborn babies, which is not true. I know nipple confusion can be a thing but anecdotally we never experienced it.
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Nov 29, 2021 06:57
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Top early for bottles is some bullshit given that you can absolutely bottle-feed from birth. They ask you at the hospital here what you're gonna do when you go in.
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Nov 29, 2021 08:32
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Academician Nomad posted:World’s most generic new parent worry but my newborn eats too much. Cluster feeding, but every day and night for the past 7-10 days of his 14 day life. Eats steadily for 20-45 minutes, seems content, crying and rooting again in 20-60 minutes, repeat. Some breaks (3-4 hours of sleep sometimes, often less), but just eats so often. Hi! Congrats on the newborn! Is the initial feed one breast or two? At this age, both of mine would feed until satisfied on one breast, rest on me for a period (up to half an hour), then have the second breast. The next feed would be 3-4 hours from the start of the first feed. A complete feed including rest period usually took an hour. In the future your baby will become more efficient at feeding and the rest between breasts will become shorter, then disappear. The time baby takes to feed will also become shorter as baby becomes bigger and stronger. Look into the Thompson method if you want a bit more info on this.
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Nov 29, 2021 08:38
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Just adding some more anecdata here to the "too early for a bottle" suggestion. By the time my kiddo was 5 days old she'd completely shredded my nipples and breastfeeding her wasn't a viable option for me. So I pumped, which was tolerable, and she was fed using bottles without issue until she was about 8 weeks old and I was able to let her latch again.
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Nov 29, 2021 11:50
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*6:00AM, just got up and am in the living room sofa pulling my socks on, the door to one of the boys rooms open and a kid walks out* Me: "Awake already? I wasn't gonna wake you for almost an hour yet, why are you awake this early?" Him : "... because I love my daddy!"
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Nov 29, 2021 12:25
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Adding my voice that bottle feeding can in fact be a lifesaver, especially if you're worried about your wife's mental health /postpartum experience. Feel free to check my post history, my wife had serious postpartum psychosis issues which were really sparked by extreme sleep deprivation. I took over feeding w formula and it was the first step on the long road to more normal thoughts, combined of course with meds and therapy. Not to like freak you out or anything - you're well past when it happened for us, which was about six days post birth.
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Nov 29, 2021 12:25
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Bottle 4 lyfe gently caress the boob-only haters
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Nov 29, 2021 12:46
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His Divine Shadow posted:*6:00AM, just got up and am in the living room sofa pulling my socks on, the door to one of the boys rooms open and a kid walks out* Some days when my kid wakes up, when I put him down he'll turn around and give me a big hug and I melt This morning, he turned around and grabbed the tv remote and handed it to me then pointed to the tv
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Nov 29, 2021 13:20
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For her final act of this long, relaxing holiday weekend my kid was up from 3:30-5:30 last night before conking off for an hour. Then she had a morning-long tantrum before finally being dropped off to daycare. I still heard the screams while I showered.
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Nov 29, 2021 14:26
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My 3yo son's being a bit of a butt lately. He finds it fun to step on things that shouldn't be stepped on. It's mostly toys, but yesterday he took a picture frame off a shelf, set it on the ground, stepped on it, and broke the glass. He didn't hurt himself, thankfully, but it's still angering. I'm not sure if it's a sensory thing or what. We don't think it's an attention-grabbing thing because he does it in the middle of us playing directly with him as equally as when we aren't with him. Other than continually reminding him or punishing by removing him or his toys from the situation, any ideas to curb this behavior? Good-Natured Filth fucked around with this message at 15:52 on Nov 29, 2021 |
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Nov 29, 2021 15:49
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Academician Nomad posted:Pediatrician says it’s too early for bottles but I may push back on that hard. It's not too early for bottles, but even if that was the only concern for the baby, your Pediatrician should also consider the impact this may be having on mom's health and well-being.
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Nov 29, 2021 16:09
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Yeah breastmilk is good but that sort of statement is loving heartless to all the moms who cannot breastfeed for whatever reason.
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Nov 29, 2021 16:29
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Academician Nomad posted:Pediatrician says it’s too early for bottles  Every single one of our kids was on the bottle, augmented with the boob, from birth. Your pediatrician sounds like a loving idiot. Give the kid a loving bottle, let your wife sleep, and tell Dr. Dipshit to pound sand.EDIT: Also, on tubes, just anecdotal, but issues with tubes hosed my hearing up permanently, and it only gets worse as I get older. Right side is maybe 25%-40% of where it used to be and left side is maybe 65%-75%, because the holes didn't close properly, patches didn't take, and lasers created hella scar tissue. Just something to think about - make sure you get a good pediatric ENT. D34THROW fucked around with this message at 16:44 on Nov 29, 2021 |
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Nov 29, 2021 16:41
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Here's my charitable take: When your child is first born they ask you at the hospital (and your first Pediatrician visit) if you're going to breast or formula feed. Many first-time parents enthusiastically opt to breastfeed--which is great--but that's interpreted as wanting to exclusively breastfeed and so the staff never informs them of supplementation or even pumping/expression options, which results in this kind of madness. I mean, sure, if you start bottles right away there's a risk of nipple aversion. But if you're willing to accept "hey, we might have to just use bottles in the end" then so be it. There's also such a thing as bottle aversions which IMO are much more difficult because having one seriously limits feeding options for the baby and mother.
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Nov 29, 2021 16:46
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Good-Natured Filth posted:My 3yo son's being a bit of a butt lately. He finds it fun to step on things that shouldn't be stepped on. It's mostly toys, but yesterday he took a picture frame off a shelf, set it on the ground, stepped on it, and broke the glass. He didn't hurt himself, thankfully, but it's still angering. I'm not sure if it's a sensory thing or what. We don't think it's an attention-grabbing thing because he does it in the middle of us playing directly with him as equally as when we aren't with him. If it's a sensory thing, maybe rub his feet or apply different textures to them occasionally as you play? My kids younger but we get good miles out of doing stuff like that with his sensory stuff. Keeps the need satisfied etc Tom Smykowski fucked around with this message at 16:58 on Nov 29, 2021 |
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Nov 29, 2021 16:55
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ExcessBLarg! posted:When your child is first born they ask you at the hospital (and your first Pediatrician visit) if you're going to breast or formula feed. Many first-time parents enthusiastically opt to breastfeed--which is great--but that's interpreted as wanting to exclusively breastfeed and so the staff never informs them of supplementation or even pumping/expression options, which results in this kind of madness. This is exactly what happened to us.
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Nov 29, 2021 17:37
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Yeah I have never managed to pump successfully and my baby has never figured out how to use a bottle... I'm home with her all the time so it's not a big deal but I see how this could be frustrating to people in general.
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Nov 29, 2021 18:51
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I dunno how anyone remembers all that poo poo they tell you in the hospital. Seemed like a blur of information then I was suddenly taking a baby home like wth
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Nov 29, 2021 19:01
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I feel like some of the pro-breastfeeding stuf crossed the line into propaganda, lying either directly or by omission. Breastfeeding is hard. It will usually hurt at first until the skin on your nipples get used to it. Cluster feeding it brutal, will drain you, and can leave you seriously touched out. Some people's bodies just straight up aren't built to do it, and some babies can't either. But all the literature and talk about it is that it is so easy and natural, shouldn't hurt at all, and is this amazing bond between mother and child; a narrative that leaves a lot of people thinking that they are a failure and doing it wrong when they don't get that. Cluster feeding is awful, and that schedule doesn't sound too far out from what we read as being "normal" when we were going through that stage. Things got better for a few weeks and then we had another burst of it at about 8-9wks. After that eventually it got to the point where feeds were only 5 minutes per side but still the hormones that come from actively breastfeeding have negative effects on the mother like feeling tired, difficulty concentrating, dryness, and a nearly nonexistent sex drive. Blockages and engorgement also are horrible to deal with as the kid starts to space out feedings more. We were quite glad to be done.
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Nov 29, 2021 19:40
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One of my favorite things the first two week was having to console my wife, full of post-pregnancy hormones, as she wept and said she was an unfit mother because she wasn't producing enough to exclusively breastfeed. Treasured memories indeed.
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Nov 29, 2021 19:51
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Re: eustacian tubes. I had non stop ear infections as a kid and had many, many tubes placed. What I remember is 1. Throwing up an orange popsicle after waking up from sedation 2. In third grade my tube fell out and my teacher thought it was a life threatening emergency 3. My quality of life was SO MUCH better with tubes. As an adult, my hearing is perfectly intact, the only thing I have problems with is the scarring on my ear drums, which manifests itself in altitude changes, like in an air plane. Taking off is fine, but landing is excruciatingly painful. That being said, I’d much rather not tolerate an airplane landing than live with the consequences of not having tubes, which include hearing loss, vertigo, tinnitus, and continued ear infections. Re: frequent breastfeeding. I used the Glow app that tracked feeding times for my first baby in a nice chart view, but the updated app doesn’t do that? Anyway, for both my kids, the first few months is nonstop boob or sleep. I know my supply was enough, and they still wanted to eat constantly. They’re trying to grow! If your wife is literally going nuts (which happens to so many people), you could supplement with formula. So now on to my complaint. I’ve had a recurring plugged milk duct in one boob. I’ve been able to relieve it with heat, massage, and using my Haaka to soak with salt water and express the clot. This time around, I can’t get the plug out, and I’m miserable. Anyone have any other ideas?
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Nov 29, 2021 19:55
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Shifty Pony posted:I feel like some of the pro-breastfeeding stuf crossed the line into propaganda, lying either directly or by omission. Agreed. I was lucky to have minimal problems, but even then it gets tough when you’re looking at your feeding tracker and realize you’ve been directly connected to your baby for 5+ hours that day. The other part that gets glossed over, imo, is the difficulty if the mom goes back to work. Pumping is tough, and chances are that supply will dip and it’ll be tough to keep up, especially before solids really kick in as an option. I had way more dysphoria with pumping than with direct breastfeeding, and I generally found it stressful and awkward to do during the work day. That was with a supportive employer, supportive manager and colleagues, and a nice dedicated space with hospital grade pumps. Many women do not have that combo, but feel like they need to push through pumping in a closet with a coworker asking them questions through the door to avoid supplemental formula and that’s really not cool.
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Nov 29, 2021 19:56
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Rev. Bleech_ posted:One of my favorite things the first two week was having to console my wife, full of post-pregnancy hormones, as she wept and said she was an unfit mother because she wasn't producing enough to exclusively breastfeed. Treasured memories indeed. Mmm, gotta love that postpartum breastfeeding sparked meltdown. I think I had two? At least two anyway. Aside from the immunity benefits and bonding from breastfeeding (although when she's screaming because she's decided she doesn't want to stay latched who knows how much bonding is happening), there is something to be said for the convenience of just being able to pop out a boob most of the time. However, it's only convenient if I'm with her, which I only am most of the time right now since I'm on leave. I'm the one who does most of our errands though, since I like it (and getting out of the house) more, so my husband has to be able to feed her. She's also not getting enough calories just from breast milk or even normal formula feeds (thanks, reflux) so we're having to add a bit of (extra) formula to fortify her bottle feeds.
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Nov 29, 2021 20:04
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D34THROW posted:Give the kid a loving bottle, let your wife sleep, and tell Dr. Dipshit to pound sand.
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Nov 29, 2021 20:06
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Koivunen posted:So now on to my complaint. I’ve had a recurring plugged milk duct in one boob. I’ve been able to relieve it with heat, massage, and using my Haaka to soak with salt water and express the clot. This time around, I can’t get the plug out, and I’m miserable. Anyone have any other ideas? Hasn't happened to me yet with #2, but with my first kid it happened a lot. A nurse suggested I put the baby on his back on the floor and get on hands and knees over him to nurse with the boob with plugged ducts. Stretching the boob out and letting the kid nurse the milk out of it always seemed to help me, in conjunction with hot showers and massages. Good luck!
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Nov 29, 2021 20:31
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Shifty Pony posted:I feel like some of the pro-breastfeeding stuf crossed the line into propaganda, lying either directly or by omission. I'm all for breastfeeding and I think it's important that mother's have the option to do it--feeding in public, feeding/pumping at work, etc. But at the same time there's no shame in supplementation or exclusively formula feeding if you are able to afford it and that's what works best for you. Rev. Bleech_ posted:One of my favorite things the first two week was having to console my wife, full of post-pregnancy hormones, as she wept and said she was an unfit mother because she wasn't producing enough to exclusively breastfeed. Treasured memories indeed. In short, don't be afraid to ask questions if you feel things aren't going right and sometimes you just have to change up the plan to make it work. But it's all OK. ExcessBLarg! fucked around with this message at 20:43 on Nov 29, 2021 |
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Nov 29, 2021 20:40
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Emily Spinach posted:Mmm, gotta love that postpartum breastfeeding sparked meltdown. I think I had two? At least two anyway. Our OB was the only one who was real with us about breastfeeding and she highlighted the convenience as the biggest benefit to it. But it did lead to Mrs Pony feeling a bit like she was on an invisible leash - could only do certain things nearby to the house since she needed to be home in time for any feeding. Koivunen posted:So now on to my complaint. I’ve had a recurring plugged milk duct in one boob. I’ve been able to relieve it with heat, massage, and using my Haaka to soak with salt water and express the clot. This time around, I can’t get the plug out, and I’m miserable. Anyone have any other ideas? This is going to sound really silly but... a vibrator. The vibrations can help loosen up the clog enough to let it get out. If you have a waterproof one doing it in the shower is ideal and doing it while feeding is also a good idea.
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Nov 29, 2021 20:44
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Koivunen posted:So now on to my complaint. I’ve had a recurring plugged milk duct in one boob. I’ve been able to relieve it with heat, massage, and using my Haaka to soak with salt water and express the clot. This time around, I can’t get the plug out, and I’m miserable. Anyone have any other ideas? Vibrator or these things: LaVie Warming Lactation Massager, https://smile.amazon.com/dp/B07MZD5GVZ/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_glt_fabc_EZQG03ZGY1CV3W9W8ZZN?_encoding=UTF8&psc=1 were the only things that helped my wife with mastitis. Dr also wrote a prescription for some “all purpose nipple cream” which is an expensive compounded cream from a pharmacy. She also supplemented with sunflower lecithin pills which may help (they at least didn’t hurt). Supposedly they make the milk a tad thinner/less likely to clot. slave to my cravings fucked around with this message at 20:53 on Nov 29, 2021 |
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Nov 29, 2021 20:51
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I had awful recurring clogs and discovered that cold compresses worked best for me. I found that warm compresses and massaging just increased my production to really painful levels, and it turns out I was experiencing engorgement rather than a clog that needed to come out at times. So cabbage leaves (used sparingly) and cold compresses really did the trick.
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Nov 29, 2021 20:54
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My daughter is back home and all is right in the world. At least until fuckface picks her up again on Thursday for yet another loving expanded weekene, but in the mean time we've already got some storytimes and playdates lined up. And unlike at horsefucker's house we don't have to get her up at 5.30a to make it to school before the tardy bell... She also asked why her dad told her about all the times he took her to pick lemons at his house when the place he's renting now doesn't have a lemon tree and before that he was in an apartment. Fun times. Additional annecdote: "i told my dad that I only want short visits at his house not long ones and he said it was normal to miss the parent you're not with, but that doesn't make any sense because I don't miss him when I'm with you and mom." We were also politely asked by the ogre toddler's montessori if we could go back to halfdays, since he is not napping there and waking other kids up. He also managed to break apart a train track that was epoxied together which left them dumbfounded at the sheer strength he has. Since December's a short month we're okay with it but still. He naps *great* at home - over 90 minutes on average. But there? 20 minutes tops.
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Nov 29, 2021 23:49
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citybeatnik posted:the ogre toddler's montessori ...also managed to break apart a train track that was epoxied together which left them dumbfounded at the sheer strength he has. I thought ogre toddler was just a name, this sounds great can you expand on this
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Nov 30, 2021 01:28
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Hadlock posted:I thought ogre toddler was just a name, this sounds great can you expand on this The little dude is 3 feet tall and weighs like 27 pounds. He just picks things up and slams it back down until it breaks. https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MQXX66K/ref=cm_sw_r_awdo_navT_g_C65BF541K82QEC96XHKR These are around the same size of the chairs he pushes around with his older sister sitting in them. Him beeg. citybeatnik fucked around with this message at 01:41 on Nov 30, 2021 |
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Nov 30, 2021 01:35
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Toddlers are insanely strong. My little twink daughter barely 22lbs at 23 months requires a team of two to bathe every night ever since she randomly decided a couple months ago that she will never willingly bathe again.
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Nov 30, 2021 03:43
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Might be a bit off topic, but I’m assuming it’s safe to get the 3rd vaccine if you *are* pregnant or potentially pregnant?
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Nov 30, 2021 03:53
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Yep, just fine. It's the same as the first two 
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Nov 30, 2021 04:04
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We were hoping to exclusively breastfeed our month old but his hunger far exceeds how much my SO can pump, as well as latching issues probably from nipple confusion since we pretty much supplemented formula from day 1. Now we just breastfeed as much as we can as well as pumping around 3-4 times a day, he's getting a little better at latching now. The rest of the time we just use HiPP formula with their human milk probiotics. I'm sticking with fed is best, and we haven't had to use a pacifier to calm him down yet.
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Nov 30, 2021 04:51
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I tried the recommendations for the plugged duct, I even tried upside down salt and suction soak with the Haaka, stretching/ massage and vibration, and I think it helped a little? The lump that was the size of my middle finger is now the size of my pinky finger… Took some ibuprofen and I’m going to bed. If I can’t get it out tomorrow morning I’m going to make an appointment with a lactation consultant because the last thing I need is to go septic from mastitis.
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Nov 30, 2021 05:09
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