Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

«‹›236 »

Turpitude II: Nov 10, 2014

Fuschia tude posted:

So she's the living incarnation of ADHD

mean rachel is too

quote:

But when I tried, I realized to my shock that I couldn�t. It was strange. Like. like when I tried to use that part of my brain, the planning part? No one home.

Was Cassie right?

I tried again. Nothing. Not just like I couldn�t come up with a great plan. It was like I couldn�t come up with any plan. Couldn�t really think ahead like that. Like the future wasn�t real, or possible, or � it just wasn�t there.

# ? Nov 26, 2021 10:03

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 05:27

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 21-Nice Rachel

quote:

I was, like, in the restaurant? Having a croissant? I didn�t want one, duh, but you had to, like, order? Or they don�t let you sit there?

Anyway, I had my croissant, and I told the waitress my dad would want coffee when he got there.

The display board showed flight 545 on time, and the restaurant was right across from his gate. He knew where to meet me.

But he would be totally surprised when he found out why I wanted to talk to him. I mean, it�s, like, �Dad? There are these aliens? And they, like, go into your brain and all?�

He would freak.

Unless he already knew. Of course he probably wouldn�t know unless he was one. A Controller, I mean. That would be really bad.

I�d have to make sure he wasn�t. I mean, I like, like, Tobias. I don�t want anything bad to happen to him. Or Cassie, who is my best friend forever and ever.

And I owe them. something. Yes, I owed them. I had to protect them. Had to be sure.

There was a croissant right in front of me. Why was there a - �Daddy!� I squealed, catching sight of him. I jumped up and waved. He waved back and came toward me.

He didn�t look like a Controller.

Of course, I guess they don�t. I guess there�s no way to tell.

�Hi, honey,� he said. He gave me a kiss and a hug.

�Hi, Daddy.�

�Need some coffee.�

�I know. I, like, told the waitress, okay?�

The waitress actually remembered and came over with coffee.

�So. What�s the emergency?� he asked me.

�What?�

�Well, you kind of implied there was something major. Something you couldn�t tell your mom.�

I nodded. �That�s right. I couldn�t tell her because she might be one of them.�

�One of what?�

�So could you.�

�I could be? What?� he asked.

I looked at him. Very shrewdly. �You tell me.�

He shook his head. �Okay, back up. What is it I could be? Or is it your mom?�

He seemed confused. But maybe that was all a ruse. I waved my hand to chase away a fly. I leaned forward. �Look me right in my eyes and tell me you�re not.�

�I can�t do that unless -�

�That�s right, you can�t because you don�t even know what I�m talking about, do you? Oh, poor Daddy! Poor, poor Daddy, you don�t know. But I�m going to tell you. No more secrets, please?�

�Absolutely.�

I glanced left and right. I mean, after all the times Jake and Marco reminded us all about keeping secrets, I�m not some idiot. And something was nagging at me, needling the back of my brain. Couldn�t betray the others. I couldn�t.

Then, in glancing left and right I saw something frightening.

She glared at me from across the room. From over my dad�s shoulder. I felt like just dissolving.

She jerked her head.

I felt the tears start. �I have to. to. I have to go to the ladies� room!�

Sigh. Poor Rachel

Chapter 22-Mean Rachel

quote:

The wimp blew past, all tears and snot. I tried to trip her, you know, just for fun, but I missed.

�T�sup?� I demanded of my father, twisting the chair around backward so I could sit astride it.

�What�s up?� my father said. He looked closely at me. �Did you just change clothes?�

�Yeah. Leotard. Big thing now.�

�Are you barefoot?�

�Hey, I see why you�re a reporter. You�re a regular genius.�

�Rachel, have you joined some kind of a cult?�

�Yeah. The Cult of Me!� I laughed. �What, is there NO service in this dump? Where�s the waitress? Get over here and wait on me! On ME!�

My dad put his hand on my arm. I flashed on the silverware. It�d be funny to see how fast he could yank that hand back after I planted a fork in it!

�Sweetheart? The waitress is busy with -�

�Stop waiting on that ugly old woman and get over here!� I yelled. �The strong should be served before the weak!� I pounded my fist on the table to emphasize this fairly obvious point.

�Rachel! Stop it. Now!� my father rapped.

Okay, now he was gonna get the butter knife. Only � there were people all around. Not now. Later.

�You�re on my list,� I said with a contemptuous sneer.

�I don�t know what�s gotten into you!�

�It�s what�s gotten out!� I said and roared with laughter.

�Sweetie, listen to me, I don�t have much time. It�s just a connecting flight. You need to tell me what�s bothering you.�

�Right now? You.�

He hung his head. �Okay, look, I know I�ve missed a weekend or two. But I�ve been really, really busy. You know I love you.�

�Bet you don�t anymore,� I said and guffawed again at my wit.

Suddenly, to my amazement, I spotted the wimp. She was actually edging back. Not right for the table, more like she was going to circle around behind me and � but why?

I had to think it through. Why? Okay, she would circle around behind me. Then � kill me?

�Listen, Rachel, I am still your daddy, even though I -�

�Shut up, I�m trying to think!�

If the wimp kept moving around till she was behind me, well, um � my dad would see her!

That was it! My dad would see her!

A plan! I had to stop her!

Oh � oh � what? What? I -

�FOOD FIGHT!� I screamed. I jumped up on my chair and pitched a croissant speedball at the next table.

No one joined in.

My dad grabbed my arm and dragged me away. I�d have to kill him for that. But for now, it was working. The wimp was left behind.
Ten minutes later my dad was on his plane, and I had left.

�Nice try, Wonder Wuss,� I sneered at my nitwit double.

I'm just thinking that none of this will convince Rachel's dad that she's not on drugs.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 06:27

t3isukone: Dec 18, 2020; 13km away

Mazerunner posted:

You know what... I'm just gonna assume V3/Alloran did this same sort of split and that's why the difference between Hork-bajir chronicles and main series

This...this is my absolute new headcanon.

Also, man, I don't remember about the conclusion of this book but I feel really bad for Rachel's dad, who has to be absolutely certain that his daughter is on drugs now.

# ? Nov 27, 2021 16:10

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 23-Nice Rachel

quote:

I was trapped!

Mean Rachel had cut me off from my father. I had nowhere to turn. I could go to my mom, sure, but we�ve never really shared our secrets and all.

Not that she�s not a good mother. She is. We just don�t have that whole spill-your-guts thing going on.

Spill your guts! What a horrible phrase.

Anyway, I went to see Cassie. But she was on her way to meet up with the others.

I�d forgotten. There was going to be a mission.

Tonight!

�Don�t worry, Rachel,� she said. �I don�t think Jake will want you to come along.�

We were in the barn. Cassie was administering medicine to a raccoon with an infected leg.

�Oh, good,� I said with relief. �Because it sounds dangerous. You know?�

�Yeah, I know.�

Tobias was the next to arrive.

�Hi, um, Tobias,� I said.

<Hi.>

Nothing else. Just �hi.� I was getting the feeling I wasn�t all that welcome among my friends. Not even Cassie or Tobias liked me.

�Are you guys mad at me?� I asked.

�Mad? No, of course not. It�s just � you know. You�re different.�

�But I�m better,� I said. �I mean, I�m, like, nice. I�m not all crazy.�

<We�re used to crazy,> Tobias said. <l mean, who else would, you know, care about someone like me? It takes a fairly crazy girl to like a Bird-boy.>

�You like her better?� I asked in total amazement.

�Her? Oh, you mean Evil Rachel?� Cassie laughed. �No. She�s insane and dangerous. I just want old Rachel back. No offense.�

�But, you can�t expect me to ever want her back inside me, can you?� I asked.

No answer, because right then Jake came in with Marco, and Ax in his human morph.

They looked wary.

�What do we have here?� Marco asked Cassie.

�Wimp Rachel,� she said. Then winced. �Sorry.�

�Oh fine, if you all like her so much, I guess I�ll just go home!� I pouted. �Only � it�s getting dark out. Can someone walk me home?�

Jake rubbed his head like his hair was annoying him. �Rachel, look, we need you.�

<We do?> Tobias wondered.

�And, Mean Rachel, I assume you�re here in some morph spying on us, so you can hear this, too,� he said. �Look, we have this convoy thing. Three trucks. Three directions. If we eliminate both Rachels that leaves us with five people for three trucks. Meaning that someone is on their own. I don�t like that. Everyone needs backup.�

<l would not require backup,> Ax said. He had morphed back to Andalite. I had looked away.

�Even you need someone to give you some cover, Ax,� Jake said. �I�m sorry, but this has �trap� written all over it. If the Yeerks are being this careful, it�s because they�re worried. Which means they could be waiting for us. We need six people, minimum.�

Marco backed him up by holding up six fingers. �The question is, who is number six? The psycho killer or Baby Spice, here.�

�I can�t go!� I cried in horror.

�Yes, you can,� Cassie said firmly.

�I would have to morph!�

<You have morphed hundreds of times,> Ax pointed out. <Although you have been altered, your memories are apparently intact. Can you not draw on those memories for courage?>

�No.�

<She said no,> a new voice said.

It was Mean Rachel, of course. Jake had been right: She was hiding, in morph. Something hideous was growing inside one of the empty stalls. It looked like someone had taken a Barbie doll and a Beast Wars Transformer and melted them together in the microwave.

Jake instantly began to morph to tiger. Ax moved toward her, tail ready. Marco, too, began to change.

By the time Mean Rachel was fully human, she was facing a tiger, a gorilla, and a very alert Andalite.

Only Cassie stayed human.

Mean Rachel looked around and burst out in a loud guffaw. �Got you all scared, haven�t I? Come on, fight fair, at least. I�ll take on any one of you. I morph to grizzly and we go at it.�

<You would lose,> Ax said confidently.

Mean Rachel seemed to consider that for a moment. Then she got a crafty look on her face. �You know what the wimp tried to do today?�

<Yes,> Tobias said.

That startled Mean Rachel. �What?�

�We watched you both,� Cassie said. �I was close by at the airport. The fly you waved off, Nice Rachel. Tobias watched you on the way there and back.�

Mean Rachel�s lips were white with growing rage. �You all think you�re smart? You think you can handle ME?�

Jake moved with liquid feline grace over to stand in front of her. <Let me remind you of something, Rachel. We�ve been through this before. David had morphing powers and he attacked the group. He�s a nothlit now, trapped in the body of a rat on that godforsaken little pimple of rock out in the ocean.>

�I�m not David!� Mean Rachel spat.

Marco answered, <No, you�re not. David might have been able to forge an alliance with the Yeerks. You can�t. The Yeerks believe in control. And you are out of control.>

�I can fight! She can�t!� Mean Rachel yelled, sticking a quivering finger in my face. �She�s useless!�

<No, you are useless,> Tobias said. <You�re nothing but rage and violence. You�re a pile of gunpowder, ready to go off with any spark. You blow up.>

�I blow up Yeerks!�

<Gunpowder is only really dangerous when it�s confined, controlled, used in the right way at the right time,> Jake said.

�I am going on this mission!� Mean Rachel screamed. �You can�t stop me!�

She lunged at Jake. She attacked him with bare hands. Jake ignored her assault. He waited, while she punched and clawed and pounded on his head and shoulders. Occasionally he would deign to block a blow with one of his lightning-quick paws.

At last Mean Rachel sat down, spent. Burned out.

<Bare-handed, you attack a tiger,> Jake said. <That�s why you aren�t going.>

�I am going,� she said weakly.

<No.> Jake turned his orange and black face to me. <You are.>

�No way!�

<Not to fight. Just as backup. Just to run and find the others if I get into trouble. You�ll have to morph, but you won�t have to fight. I know you don�t like it. But, Nice Rachel, you are going.>

�Why do I have to go?� I wailed.

<Because. It�s your duty.>

�My duty?� I thought about the word. Duty? What was duty? What did that mean to me? Nothing!

Only. it did mean something. To my surprise, it did. It was kind of weird. But down inside me, untouched by the split, I felt the word resonate.

Mean Rachel got the courage. I got the sense of duty.

And now that I had touched that part of me, it seemed powerful. Irresistible.

�Okay, now that was just, like, totally bad planning,� I muttered under my breath

Hey, they brought up David! Also, there were actual Animorph transformers. Here's Rachel as a lion!

Chapter 24-Nice Rachel

quote:

�If she goes, I go,� Mean Rachel yelled.

<Okay,> Jake relented.

Mean Rachel looked happy. Until Ax slapped her on the side of her head with the flat of his tail. Then she just looked unconscious.

�We can�t restrain her,� Cassie said, looking down at my double. �She has all our powers. We can�t exactly tie her up.�

<No,> Jake agreed. <And she may come after us. If she does � if she does, assume that she is an enemy.>

<Great,> Marco said. <The Yeerks ahead, Mean Rachel behind. This should be fun. If by �fun� you mean terrifying and insane.>

Cassie looked thoughtfully at me and smiled. �I told Jake I thought your sense of duty was part of this half of you.�

�And I thought you were my friend.�

Marco and Jake were demorphing. I forced myself not to look away. It was hideous, horrifying, but I tried not to look away.

I wasn�t brave. I wasn�t. But Cassie, as usual, was right. Jake had touched something still alive and strong inside me: duty.

Stupid word! Stupid idea!

No, not a stupid idea. But definitely a stupid word. I mean, it sounds like �doody.� I mean, puhleeze. I had to go and get killed because of something that sounds like you�re talking about what dogs do on the lawn?

�Okay, here�s the plan,� Jake said. �Ax with Cassie. Marco and Tobias. Me and Rachel.�

Of course. Jake didn�t trust me, duh. He wanted me with him so he could watch me.

�We assemble in the air over BRI. The Chee have been alerted to take our place at our homes.� Marco groaned. �I hate it when we do that. The Chee who plays me always cleans my room. I can never find anything!�

�We stay on alert till we see the trucks move out. One member of each team demorphs each half hour. That way we all stay fresh and don�t have time limit problems. Questions?�

Marco held up his hand. �If I split into two halves can I stay home?�

Everyone laughed. That nervous laugh we all have when we know Marco�s just trying to ease the tension.

It would take more than that to ease my tension. I felt like I must be as stiff as an ironing board. I knew what was coming.

�Okay, let�s morph,� Jake said.

He winked at me. It was supposed to make me feel confident. It didn�t.

I closed my eyes tight. Owl. That was the right morph for flying at night. Everyone knew it. Owl. They weren�t too scary. Not too scary. Not too scary.

I squinched my eyes as closed as I could. And I let it start.

I saw nothing. And, of course, there was no pain. I mean, if you could, like, really feel morphing

it would be beyond any pain. It would be like burning alive while being put through a garbage disposal or something.

So I didn�t feel it, not in that way. But I felt parts of it. Faraway, like when you go to the dentist and they give you Novocain and it doesn�t exactly hurt, only you know it should, because, like, they�re drilling into your teeth, so it kind of does hurt?

That�s what morphing is like.

And you can hear it, too. You can hear your bones crunching and grinding as they shrink and twist and hollow out. You can hear your skull as it changes shape and you think, Oh! Oh! My brain is being squished!

And you feel yourself totter, off balance, as your body changes shapes and your feet become hard, scrabbly talons, and when you wave your arms around to keep from falling you feel the extra resistance because now you have, like, feathers?

But through it all, I kept my eyes shut.

<Rachel? You�re done,> Cassie said kindly.

I opened my eyes.

<Yah!> I yelped in surprise. Owl vision, of course. Too, too much. I closed my eyes. Then, slowly, peeked again.

<You okay?> Tobias asked me.

<Noooo,> I wailed.

<Let�s fly,> Jake said.

Duty. Stupid, stupid word.

Honestly, the more they describe morphing, the more horrible it sounds.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 05:08

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

quote:

<You would lose,> Ax said confidently.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 07:49

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

freebooter posted:

<You weren't there, but I killed a T-Rex once.>

<I'm not boasting. Andalites never boast.>

I mean, Ax is 2 for 2 in knocking her out with his tail this book, so, honestly, I don't think she's going to be a threat to him.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 08:01

HIJK: Nov 25, 2012; in the room where you sleep

I think the big weakness of this book is that it�s a bit tedious.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 09:39

Bibliotechno Music: Dec 30, 2008

quote:

Marco held up his hand. �If I split into two halves can I stay home?�

Marco�s comment here makes me wonder, what kind of �halves� would the other Animorphs split into? Marco, I think, would be a sadboy, very anxious and depressed, and a bully � not violent like Rachel, but relentlessly cruel and cutting. Would Tobias just be half human Tobias and half hawk at this point?

# ? Nov 28, 2021 15:57

QuickbreathFinisher: Sep 28, 2008; by reading this post you have agreed to form a gay socialist micronation.
`

Bibliotechno Music posted:

Marco’s comment here makes me wonder, what kind of “halves” would the other Animorphs split into? Marco, I think, would be a sadboy, very anxious and depressed, and a bully — not violent like Rachel, but relentlessly cruel and cutting. Would Tobias just be half human Tobias and half hawk at this point?

Due to the way the morphing works both would probably have to be hawks at the start. His might actually be the most inconvenient, because the side that considers itself more human might keep trying to purposely become a nothlit. the other hawk would simply disengage to go do hawk poo poo and be impossible to find and even tougher to convince. It would be interesting for a book like this to have any lasting effect on the plot.

Cassie's two sides would be a caring soft emotional horse girl and a manipulative nihilist mastermind that could play herself off as the useful one, turning out to have created some plan for "the greater good" that sacrifices some or all of the rest of the team. Jake would get like an unaware sports doofus and idk a totalitarian leader who has no concern for the rest of the group's safety?
Ax's sides would be a deeply analytical and self conscious little brother type and an Andalite-supremacist fascist. both would be hopelessly addicted to taste and TV.

actually, in the right hands, this could have been an interesting David-narrated book, they could kill off or trap his dark shithead side and maybe permanently gain a competent animorph out of it. Or, if the starfish book had happened before meeting David, they could try to do it to him on purpose and go a Frankenstein route. There's no way the two halves would have split that conveniently, but it honestly would have made more sense for David to recklessly morph on a beach in broad daylight to get a Slayer CD or something than it did for Rachel. Probably not the greatest messaging though – that rear end in a top hat kid in school just has an evil side that needs to be killed? :shrug:

# ? Nov 28, 2021 16:41

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

My guess is that Tobias is half boy/half bird. Cassie is half hippie earth princess/half cold blooded amoral killer, Jake,I agree, half totaltarian and half basketball obsessed slacker, and Ax is half perfect Andalite warrior/half goofy jock.

QuickbreathFinisher posted:

actually, in the right hands, this could have been an interesting David-narrated book, they could kill off or trap his dark shithead side and maybe permanently gain a competent animorph out of it. Or, if the starfish book had happened before meeting David, they could try to do it to him on purpose and go a Frankenstein route. There's no way the two halves would have split that conveniently, but it honestly would have made more sense for David to recklessly morph on a beach in broad daylight to get a Slayer CD or something than it did for Rachel. Probably not the greatest messaging though – that rear end in a top hat kid in school just has an evil side that needs to be killed?

�If only it were all so simple! If only there were evil people somewhere insidiously committing evil deeds, and it were necessary only to separate them from the rest of us and destroy them. But the line dividing good and evil cuts through the heart of every human being. And who is willing to destroy a piece of his own heart?�-Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, The Gulag Archipelago

Epicurius fucked around with this message at 16:50 on Nov 28, 2021

# ? Nov 28, 2021 16:47

t3isukone: Dec 18, 2020; 13km away

That 'duty/doody' line stuck with me, of all things. The strangest things from this series. I might have even thought that was a Marco line before this.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 18:26

rollick: Mar 20, 2009

If the five arms of a starfish correspond to the Big Five personality traits, it would depend on where the cut happened imo.

# ? Nov 28, 2021 21:07

Fuschia tude: Dec 26, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Epicurius posted:

Chapter 24-Nice Rachel

Honestly, the more they describe morphing, the more horrible it sounds.

It's interesting that without the ruthless part of Rachel she can't dissociate and zone out on things like this, and has to focus on all the details as they happen.

Fuschia tude fucked around with this message at 04:27 on Nov 29, 2021

# ? Nov 29, 2021 04:25

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 25-Nice Rachel

quote:

It wasn�t that flying isn�t cool. It is cool. I mean, parts of it. Like being able to see everything from up in the air. That was kind of interesting.

But here�s the thing about flying? You�re up in the air!

There is nothing holding you up but air. Nothing. You�re a hundred feet up, or whatever, and in your head you�re still a human, still looking at the world like a human, still thinking �Oh. My. GAWD! I�m up in the air!�

I mean, if you lean out of the window on the third floor of a building it scares you, right? Even though you know most of your body is still inside the building. Well, when you�re flying, it�s not just three stories up and there is no building and if you start falling you�re going to have a lot of time to scream and think about it before you hit the ground and smash every bone in your body.

<You okay?> Cassie asked me.

<Nnn-hnnn,> I said.

We flew through the night. The six of us. The Animorphs. We�d done it � I�d done it a hundred times, probably. I remembered all those times. I remembered flying to some mission or other and being filled with anticipation.

I used to look forward to it. The fighting. The missions.

And yet, when I thought back on it now, it wasn�t all Mean Rachel. I was there, too. I�d been scared. It wasn�t that I wasn�t scared. It was just that Mean Rachel had gotten us past it. She�d made us brave, with a mixture of courage and recklessness and desperation and insecurity. And there had been insanity, too. Something down deep inside that was dark and hard and cruel.

I wondered about the others, my friends. If they had been split like this, what would they have become? Did Jake have a Mean Jake inside him? Oh, yes. Definitely. And Ax. Neither of them might be as wild or out of control, but they had that same core of darkness. Cassie? No. Or at least a split-screen Cassie would be this huge portion of nice and this tiny bit of rotten.

As for Tobias? He flew, still his own hawk self, a little above, and a little apart from all of us.

If you split Tobias into halves you�d have what you already had: a hawk, and a boy.

It was okay to think about all that. It took my mind off what was coming.

Which was?

Oh, yeah. Following some trucks.

Well, maybe that wouldn�t be so bad. I mean, I was already morphed. I was already flying. All we�d have to do is fly above the trucks.

<There�s BRI,> Jake said. <Okay, separate. We don�t want to look like an owl convention.>

For a while after that we just floated in the air. Me and Jake stayed close together, mostly. He didn�t ask me how I was doing. Probably he didn�t want to know.

Then �

<They�re on the move!> Marco reported. <Doors opening. Three trucks visible inside the building.>

<Okay, everyone get set,> Jake ordered. <Left to right we call them trucks number one, two, three. Ax and Cassie, truck number one. Marco and Tobias? Number two. Rachel? You stay on my wing. We have truck number three. As soon as our truck clears the building we intercept and try to land.>

<Land?> I asked shrilly.

<On the truck.>

<Excuse me? I thought we were, like, following them?>

<Rachel, an owl cannot keep up with a truck that may go sixty miles an hour.>

<So � so � NO!>

<Rachel, we need you.>

<NOOOOOO!>

The trucks began to move, big, lurching boxes below us and a couple of hundred feet ahead. Jake slanted down in an intercept dive.

I hesitated.

Duty.

Doody.

I let the air spill from my wings and dove after him.

That's the thing about nice Rachel. She does have that sense of duty, and she's willing to let it overcome her fear, whereas mean Rachel is not really reflective at all and doesn't seem to have any sense of loyalty.

Chapter 26-Nice Rachel

quote:

Down, down, down. Faster, faster, faster. And all in the most eerie silence. Owl wings make not a whisper.

The truck, blazingly bright to my owl eyes, grew closer fast.

We were going to crash into it!

No, we were going to shoot past it and hit the ground!

No, we were going to hit short and slide under the huge wheels!

<Aaaaahhhhhh!> I cried. <I�m scared! I�m scared! I�m scared!>

<Me, too,> Jake grated. <Just stay on my wing. Don�t think. Get out of yourself, pretend you�re somewhere else.>

<What? What? I�m an owl on a collision course with a truck!>

<Let the owl do the flying, Rachel. It�s just like swooping down on a mouse. See that strap that goes across the top of the truck?>

<Y-y-y-yes.>

<See the overlap? The row of rivets? That�s your target. Your mouse. Just let the owl do the flying.>

I tried. I honestly did, but Jake was INSANE!

What did he mean let the owl do the flying? We were ten seconds from impact. Nine. Eight.

And then, to my amazement, the owl took over. It was so weird! It was like one second I was in the cockpit of a plane and I had no idea how to fly it, and then, suddenly, the pilot came in and took over.

I focused on those stupid rivets. I focused and the owl focused and we got closer and closer and closer and �

Strike!

Talons grabbed.

Scrabbling, slipping �

The truck lurched hard. I lost my grip, rolled over on my back, blown back along the top of the truck�s box. My talons slashed, desperate, looking for a hold where there was only slick, featureless steel.

<Aaahhhhh!>

Tick!

A talon grabbed! A tiny hole, a screw hole. One nail of one talon snagged in that tiny hole.

I saw Jake, latched on to the strap up ahead of me. The others? All gone, by now. I wanted to cry. Wanted to just sob and weep and boo hoo. I was shaking. My feathers were quivering. My mind was sinking fast, sinking into dark despair.

<Rachel! Demorph!>

<What?>

<Demorph! Now!>

<Here?> I couldn�t be hearing him right. Was he crazy?

<You have to demorph to morph,> he said. <Just listen to me, Rachel. Listen to me. Stop crying, stop freaking out, just listen to me.>

I focused on his thought-speak voice. I tried to shut out everything else.

I began to demorph. Better to be human than owl. Just one problem: my talon. At any moment it might turn into a toe. A toe would not hold on. I would go rolling off the edge of the truck onto the street to be crushed by -

<Rachel! Listen to me. Demorph. Do it!>

<I�m t-t-trying!>

I began to change. To grow. I mean, I understood what Jake was going for. I understood that he figured my human skin would help hold me to the steel. He was right. As skin replaced feathers I began to stick better. I kept my eyes pressed tightly
closed.

�Rachel. You�re done demorphing,� Jake said in his human voice.

�Good,� I whispered. The truck swerved. I slapped my hands down on the metal, trying to hold on. �Okay, now you have to morph again.�

�What?�

�Roach. Cockroach.�

�No! No way! Never! No no no no no no no ��

A lot of people don't like cockroaches, but I think they're kind of amazing animals. Also, I know some people in the thread see ADHD in nice Rachel , but what I see is anxiety. Maybe it's just because it's something I identify with, but like Cassie said, this Rachel got all the long term planning. She can't react spontaneously because whenever she tries, she keeps seeing all the ways what she's doing can go wrong, so it forces her into indecision.

# ? Nov 29, 2021 05:35

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

quote:

I wondered about the others, my friends. If they had been split like this, what would they have become? Did Jake have a Mean Jake inside him? Oh, yes. Definitely. And Ax. Neither of them might be as wild or out of control, but they had that same core of darkness. Cassie? No. Or at least a split-screen Cassie would be this huge portion of nice and this tiny bit of rotten.

Interesting that she speculates what we've already speculated! I suppose it's natural KA did as well, but I'd completely forgotten this.

Personally I think she's completely wrong about Ax - I don't think he has any kind of dark half. Even the bits where he feels compelled to kill V3 to avenge his brother seems to come from soldierly and cultural duty rather than any kind of personal drive for vengeance. If we take this war as a WWII analogy, he strikes me as the kind of sweet and sensitive kid who would have been a smart, competent and thoughtful soldier who then would have had absolutely no problem going back to the Midwest and selling refrigerators or whatever for the rest of his life. Would never miss the war for a second.

# ? Nov 29, 2021 10:42

t3isukone: Dec 18, 2020; 13km away

I think Rachel is definitely wrong about Cassie. Cassie's got a lot of nice, sure, she's a very empathetic person, but she is ruthless when it comes down to it.

I think Nice vs Mean Ax would definitely be about how much he buys into Andalite culture, as others here say. Probably Mean Ax would be really, really into revenge.

Nice Marco would probably be even more hosed in the head than Nice Rachel. Mean Marco, on the other hand, would be absolutely loving terrifying on a Mean Cassie level.

# ? Nov 29, 2021 19:39

Comrade Blyatlov: Aug 4, 2007; should have picked four fingers

Mean Marco would be Visser One, basically. Except, you know, inherent, not Yeerk.

# ? Nov 29, 2021 20:31

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 27-Nice Rachel

quote:

�Rachel!�

�No no no no no ��

�Rachel! There�s a tunnel up ahead. This truck is too tall. The tunnel is too low. If you�re still human when you get there you�ll be scraped off.�

My mind was reeling. You know, you see that phrase in books: My mind was reeling and you think, Whoa, what�s that about? But I can tell you: My mind was reeling.

It was totally impossible. I had to choose between being killed by a tunnel, or turning into a cockroach?

What kind of world is it when you have to make choices like that? A bad world, that�s what. Bad, bad, very bad.

�Listen, just close your eyes like before,� Jake urged. �Come on, hurry! It�s the only way to stay alive.�

It did occur to me that maybe Jake was lying. Maybe he was only telling me this in order to get me to do what he wanted. But how could I know? How could I possibly know?

I squeezed my eyes shut and kept myself pressed as closely as I could to the cold steel box of the truck.

Roach? I had done it before. I�d morphed to cockroach lots of times. Lots of times. Nothing to be afraid of. Nothing to worry about.

Except for the fact that I would be turning into a cockroach!

�Eyes closed, Rachel. Eyes closed.�

It was so strange. Not the morphing. I mean, yes, the morphing, but that�s not what I meant. What was strange was that you know you can be scared of something, then you go ahead and do it, so the next time you�re not as scared? Like the fear wears off, becomes weaker?

That�s the normal way for things to be. Only it wasn�t that way for me. I had now morphed to owl. And I had demorphed. So it should be easier for me now, right? Plus, I�d done it, like, hundreds of times: bear, fly, whale, flea � I had all those memories, perfectly preserved. I knew � I mean, I knew that had been me doing all those things. So why should I be so scared?

But I was. The fear was untouched. Undiminished. Not one iota less powerful. It was like the part of my brain that was capable of thinking, Hey, that wasn�t really so bad, was just gone. It was. It was in my twin.

The thought made me very sad. It meant that I was never going to be able to get brave again. Never. Like there was some kind of fear-coping organ and mine had been surgically removed.

I was trembling. Shaking. Teeth chattering. Until I had no teeth. Until I had no flesh to tremble. I was aware that I was shrinking. I could tell because my palms were dragging across the steel as hands and feet all became much closer.

But I kept my eyes shut and told myself it wasn�t happening to me. Wasn�t me. Someone else. Not me.

Then, the two legs erupted from my chest.

I yelled. Only I didn�t, because now I didn�t have a mouth. I tried to make a yell but I no longer had lungs. No throat. No vocal chords. No tongue or lips. All gone!

I screamed in thought-speak.

<It�s okay, Rachel. It�s okay, Rachel,> Jake kept saying. <Keep at it. Bridge is coming up. Hurry. Keep morphing. There�s time, but don�t stop!>

I kept morphing. Only I wasn�t even there anymore. My mind was off, faraway. Off in a warm, cozy place with a big comforter pulled up to my chin and my eyes closed and � The cockroach feelers activated. I was flooded with sensations. Smells! Vibrations! My eyes weren�t closed anymore.

<Good work, Rachel,> Jake said. I guess he said it about a hundred times before, at long last, my panicked mind came floating down to Earth again and I heard him.

<Are we past the bridge, yet?> I whispered.

He didn�t answer.

So. He had lied. That�s Jake: The mission comes before anything.

I didn�t want to see, feel, hear, but I had no choice. Roach sight is almost nonexistent, just vague shapes floating in shadow. But hearing and �smell� were pretty good. And I could not turn them off.

So I was aware that the truck was slowing down now. And I felt it when the truck passed from cool outside air to much, much warmer air.

In the distance I saw a huge, dull glow. And I felt vibrations that my roach brain interpreted as vast, low-pitched sounds.

Then, I felt the difference in pitch as the truck headed downhill.

<Some kind of tunnel,> Jake said, sounding worried.

The truck stopped.

There was a smell �

Gas!

<De �> Jake said.

And I was gone.

Chapter 28-Nice Rachel

quote:

I tried to open my eyes. No eyes. No vision.

My antennae brushed something above me, sending a tingle through my body.

I was in roach morph!

Oh, God. Oh, God, I was in roach morph!

I ran. Panic. Fired my six legs and ran.

A wall!

Left. RUN!

A wall! I was in a corner.

Turn around. Other way! RUN!

Wall!

NO, no, no! Not walls. A box! I was in a box! In a box! An inch taller than me, an inch wider, an inch longer. A box! Trapped!

<Rachel, try and stay calm,> Jake said.

Demorph! I screamed to myself. Demorph!

I began to change, to grow, but instantly I felt the awful, unyielding pressure. Walls all around me!

<Don�t demorph, you�ll die!> Jake yelled.

I could barely stand to listen. I morphed back, but the panic, the terror!

Oh, God, they had me! At long last, they had me! Trapped. As a roach! As a cockroach!

I started screaming. I kept screaming. Screaming and screaming and screaming.

See. it was a trap.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 05:25

Fuschia tude: Dec 26, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Did a tunnel turn into a bridge and then... back into a tunnel, in the previous chapter? :raise:

# ? Nov 30, 2021 10:58

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

I totally can't remember this part of the book - I think all I remember from here is the specifics of the ending - and I'm wondering if this is a ruse they've cooked up, maybe with Erek's help.

quote:

But I was. The fear was untouched. Undiminished. Not one iota less powerful. It was like the part of my brain that was capable of thinking, Hey, that wasn�t really so bad, was just gone. It was. It was in my twin.

The thought made me very sad. It meant that I was never going to be able to get brave again. Never. Like there was some kind of fear-coping organ and mine had been surgically removed.

Being harsh on herself - the very definition of coping is being frightened of something but doing it anyway. I think that's inseparable from the definition of "courage" or "bravery," and in fact I think it was Animorphs that taught me that in the first place and there's probably a quote about it somewhere wayyyy back in this thread.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 12:37

pile of brown: Dec 31, 2004

Fuschia tude posted:

Did a tunnel turn into a bridge and then... back into a tunnel, in the previous chapter?

It morphed

# ? Nov 30, 2021 18:20

Tree Bucket: Apr 1, 2016; R.I.P.idura leucophrys

pile of brown posted:

It morphed

Architecturemorphs spin off series

# ? Nov 30, 2021 21:47

Fuschia tude: Dec 26, 2004; THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

Tree Bucket posted:

Architecturemorphs spin off series

It'll never catch on

# ? Nov 30, 2021 22:01

Pwnstar: Dec 9, 2007; Who wants some waffles?

Is this like when you are driving down the street and turn into a driveway?

# ? Dec 1, 2021 01:36

CidGregor: Sep 27, 2009; TG: if i were you i would just take that fucking devilbeast out behind the woodshed and blow its head off

Fuschia tude posted:

Did a tunnel turn into a bridge and then... back into a tunnel, in the previous chapter?

I honestly read this as just part of Jake's deception with the hazard not actually being there and him being unable to keep his lie consistent in the heat of the moment.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 01:59

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

CidGregor posted:

I honestly read this as just part of Jake's deception with the hazard not actually being there and him being unable to keep his lie consistent in the heat of the moment.

Probably. Rachel does go out of her way to explicitly say that Jake lied to her to get her to morph.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 04:14

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Just a note....I had a minor medical procedure this afternoon/evening, and while I'm fine, I'm still kind of out of it. Next two chapters tomorrow, though.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 05:36

GodFish: Oct 10, 2012; We're your first, last, and only line of defense. We live in secret. We exist in shadow.

And we dress in black.

A minor medical procedure like.... being cut in half?!?

# ? Dec 1, 2021 08:49

nine-gear crow: Aug 10, 2013

GodFish posted:

A minor medical procedure like.... being cut in half?!?

Nice Epicurius posts chapters for Animorphs and we think they're cool. Mean Epicurius posts chapters from Ernest Cline's Armada, and we all think they're a loving rear end in a top hat.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 09:39

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

nine-gear crow posted:

Nice Epicurius posts chapters for Animorphs and we think they're cool. Mean Epicurius posts chapters from Ernest Cline's Armada, and we all think they're a loving rear end in a top hat.

Chapter 1

quote:

I was staring out the classroom window and daydreaming of adventure when I spotted the flying saucer.

I blinked and looked again�but it was still out there, a shiny chrome disc zigzagging around in the sky. My eyes struggled to track the object through a series of increasingly fast, impossibly sharp turns that would have juiced a human being, had there been any aboard. The disc streaked toward the distant horizon, then came to an instantaneous stop just above it. It hovered there motionless over the distant tree line for a few seconds, as if scanning the area beneath it with an invisible beam, before it abruptly launched itself skyward again, making another series of physics defying changes to its course and speed. . ..

# ? Dec 1, 2021 15:57

Rosalie_A: Oct 30, 2011

Mean Epicurius posts an Animorphs Let's Read because he likes us to suffer. Nice Epicurius is the same way but pokes HA to keep the thread title updated.

# ? Dec 1, 2021 21:27

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Ok, so Mean Epicurius has made you read the beginning of Armada (but not the entire first chapter, because he's not a total monster.) Nice Epicurius has asked Hieronymous Alloy to change the thread title to something perpetual so it'll never be out of date. Because he's notoriously indecisive, though, he let HA pick the new title, and he was nice enough to give us David Bowie.

Now that I've put myself back together and am feeling more like my old self, here we go!

Chapter 29-Mean Rachel

quote:

My eyes snapped open. I saw rafters. I saw a stall around me. Someone had rolled up a blanket and put it under my head.

Another blanket was laid over me.

"Aaarrrgghhh!� I yelled and jerked up off the ground.

I was awake, up, and mad within a split second.

�Knock me out? Knock ME out? I�ll kill you! I�ll kill you all!�

The animals in their cages shrank back from me. As well they should.

That does it, I thought. Now they all die! I don�t need any of them anymore. Especially not that simpering, mewling, uptalking nitwit double of mine.

But how to get them? Had to follow them. That was the first thing. Had to follow them. But how?

How? I didn�t even know how long they�d been gone. I could have been under for minutes or hours.

I slammed outside into the evening air and scanned the sky. A hawk! No, just a crow.

How was I supposed to find them? The lights were on in Cassie�s house. Did her parents know she was gone? No. No. Of course not. The Chee. That�s how we�d done it in the past. The Chee would send one of their androids over, armed with a hologram that would perfectly duplicate Cassie.

So �Cassie� was probably in there right now having dinner.

I was hungry.

I could kill something and eat it!

Focus!

It had been one thing following them to the BRI. I�d been able to see them then. This was harder. How was I supposed to track them through the sky?

Wait, maybe they weren�t too far gone, yet. That was it! Take to the air and hope to get lucky! Good plan.

Moments later I was in owl morph and pushing for all the altitude that low-altitude bird could give me. I scanned the skies ahead, behind, left, right, up, down, NOTHING! Out over the interstate I flew. The car headlights were painful, the taillights lurid. Too bright!

Had to go after them. Had to hunt them down and kill them! Now! Right now! But � but I couldn�t find them!

<AARRRGGGHH!>

I could feel the rage frenzy coming on. I was losing control. My wings were trembling. My talons were clutching compulsively at the air. I wanted to scream and scream and find something, anything, to kill, kill, KILL!

Then, I spotted the truck. The truck with something that could only be a girl morphing to cockroach.

Nice Rachel! I crowed to myself. Jake and my twin, both together! Perfect!

But the truck was moving away at a pretty rapid speed. Too fast for me to catch. All I could do was watch helplessly as it veered down a circular off-ramp, then turned onto a smaller four-lane road.

The turn around the off-ramp gave me a few seconds to play catch-up. But then the truck was off again and pulling away fast. In five minutes it would be out of sight.

Once it was out of sight I would have to think, think about what it had done, think of a plan. No!

No, I had to maintain contact. It was the only way.

<NO! NO! I will not be denied my vengeance!> I cried.

Then, at the very limit of my sight I saw brake lights blaze. The truck was slowing. I pushed my wings for all they were worth. I flew as fast as an owl has ever flown. I was practically delirious with the wondrous images that filled my head: Jake and Nice Rachel, both as cockroaches. Hah! Killing them would be almost too easy. I could. I could eat them! Yeah, that was it! I could eat them, ah hah hah HAH!

Or maybe I would rip off their legs and leave them helpless on their backs to. no, wait. That wouldn�t work, would it? But why? Some reason. They � I strained my mind, trying to figure out what it was that was bothering me about that scenario.

I pull off their legs. Okay. That was good. Then, I put them on their backs so they can�t roll over. And then �

I would eat them! Yeah! Swallow them in one big bite!

But even that made me feel uncomfortable. Like I was overlooking something.

Frustration was building now. It was a physical thing, like a pot coming to a boil in my guts. And the more it boiled, the less I could focus, the more it boiled, the less I could focus, the more �

<Aaaarrgghh!>

The truck was slowing. Turning down a side road at right angles to me. I could keep up, now! Barely. The truck approached a vast, rusty fantasy of steel. A foundry? Where they made steel or something? Maybe. It glowed a deep orange in the night.

The truck entered a doorway. Gone from sight!

I could eat them. One big bite.

The frustration! I felt like I wanted to claw my own brain open. Not working. My brain was not working. Now, what? And then, what?

<After them! Follow them!>

That was easy enough. Down I went. Catch them. Kill them. Yeah, yeah. That soothed me a little.

Don�t worry about the details.

Down and down and down. I swept through the huge, open doorway.

That's part of why Mean Rachel can't make long term plans. She's distracted by her constant, ever-present rage. just like Nice Rachel can't make short term plans because of her constant anxiety.

Chapter 30-Nice Rachel

quote:

<No! No! No! No! No!>

<Rachel! Rachel, it�s Jake!>

<No! No! No!>

<Rachel, listen to me. Listen to me, Rachel. I know you�re scared. I know you�re scared, Rachel. Listen to me.>

Moaning. A moaning cry came from deep down inside me. A soundless sound, a voiceless, pitiful mewling. My brain. gone. Thinking. impossible.

Just terror. Animal terror.

<Listen to me, Rachel. We�ve been in lots of tough spots, Rachel. Lots of tough spots.>

<Oooooh, ooooh, oooooh.>

<Remember when the Yeerks were trying to get to the President and the world leaders at that conference? Remember how we thought we were done for, trapped by, like, a hundred Hork-Bajir?>

<Oooooh, oooooh, ooooooh.>

<We made it, though, right? Or remember when we were dolphins and we were in that fight with the sharks? Or how about the time we � come on, Rachel. Hang in there. Hang on.>

<Ooooh, oooooh, ooooh.>

<Okay, look, I can�t see much, okay, just like you. But I don�t think we�re the only ones. I think I see other � containers. You know, like the ones we were in. I think what happened is the Yeerks hit the truck with nerve gas and just grabbed everything that fell out. You know? Bugs of whatever kind. Not just us.>

<Oooooh, oooooh, oooooh.>

<There are Hork-Bajir here, walking around us, I think. Can you tell? Can you look and see, Rachel? I know roach eyes are pretty lame, but see if you can make any sense of the shadows and movements. It may help. Rachel? Rachel?>

I couldn�t. Couldn�t look. Think. Just scream and scream. Scream. SCREAM! SCREAM! SCREAM!

<Rachel! Stop it, stop it right now!>

I fell silent.

<I�m going to tell you what to do, Rachel, and you are going to do it.>

Silent. Waiting. Feeling the terror stalking me, feeling it tickle up beside me, feeling its cold hand reaching right through me. Trapped! A roach in a clear, plastic matchbox. No way to demorph. No way out. Trapped!

<Listen to me, Rachel, I want you to tell me everything you see. Do it!>

<I-I-I-I see � I see � shadows � Moving. All around. Tall, huge!>

<Are they Hork-Bajir?>

<Yes. Don�t know. Maybe. Yes. Hork-Bajir. Oh, God!>

<Listen to me, Rachel. What else do you see?>

<A light. Red, maybe. A clock, I think! Numbers in red. Counting down. Ooooohhh!> I moaned. I knew why they were counting down.

<Rachel, listen, it�s the Yeerks playing mind games. They want us to be scared. It�s a countdown to make us think we�re running out of time in morph. But listen, Rachel? They aren�t even sure we�re not just real bugs, okay? They don�t know, Rachel. They�re hoping. They�re guessing. They don�t know. Do you understand?>

Counting down. Trapped. The rest of my life as a roach! Not a hawk like Tobias, a cockroach!

No! No! NONONONONO!

<Listen to me, Rachel, you can�t say anything to them when they come. You can�t say anything. No matter how much ->

Say? Say? My feverish mind grabbed on to that thought. I could talk to them! I could beg them to let me go, let me go, let me go.

<Rachel, listen very carefully to me,> Jake said. <You cannot say anything. It�s the only way to survive. It�s your duty.>

<Help me! Help me!> I began to scream in open thought-speak.

<Rachel, no!>

<Help me! I�ll tell you anything, just let me go!>

Suddenly, movement!

They were coming for me! The Hork-Bajir! Yes, they would let me out, let me out and I would tell them anything.

WHAM!

My box was snatched up.

Fwit!

I flew through the air.

Then, slice!

I fell through the air.

I will say this is amazingly clever of the Yeerks, with the timer and all. Of course they're going to pick up any animal that goes through that door, even the bugs.

# ? Dec 2, 2021 04:03

freebooter: Jul 7, 2009

quote:

<Remember when the Yeerks were trying to get to the President and the world leaders at that conference? Remember how we thought we were done for, trapped by, like, a hundred Hork-Bajir?>

<Oooooh, oooooh, ooooooh.>

<We made it, though, right? Or remember when we were dolphins and we were in that fight with the sharks? Or how about the time we � come on, Rachel. Hang in there. Hang on.>

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/51f5bc1c-b407-42d2-8620-99cfee45e06c

(Probably not a great idea to try to overcome her anxiety by reminding her of all the awful things they've been through, though)

# ? Dec 2, 2021 06:10

HIJK: Nov 25, 2012; in the room where you sleep

The kids are poo poo at handling this lol

# ? Dec 2, 2021 09:38

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 31-Mean Rachel

quote:

Turned out I didn�t need some big plan. I saw Hork-Bajir, I morphed to Hork-Bajir and joined them. Hah! All I had to do was march along like they told me.

The room was gloomy, lit only by faint, greenish luminescence that seemed to glow from the walls. There were a dozen pedestals. On each pedestal a small, glass box. And in each glass box a bug or other small animal. Roach, ant, snail, beetle, fly. Weird. Like some kind of insane collector had gone to a lot of trouble to capture and display some rare animals that were not at all rare.

One thing was for sure: Jake and my idiot twin were two of those bugs. And they were dead meat!

I laughed. Silently, of course. The Yeerks thought they were going to kill Jake and the other Rachel. Hah! I was going to kill them! No one was going to deprive me of that.

I was in Hork-Bajir morph. Not any different than the other three Hork-Bajir in the claustrophobic little room. Except that those three didn�t know who I was. They didn�t know what danger they were in.

Me against three? I had the benefit of surprise. Besides, I was me. ME!

�Boring, huh?� I said to a big old Hork-Bajir beside me.

He glared at me. Probably a little thrown off by my use of correct English. Hork-Bajir mouths and brains don�t handle English all that well, so they use a mix of languages: their own, and ours, and Yeerkish, of course, and Galard, and I didn�t care, because he was eyeballing me, and I was enjoying the moment of suspense, the point where time slowed down to a crawl as I prepared to attack!

He said something about how it wouldn�t be boring once Visser Three arrived, and as soon as he�d garbled out the last word, I struck! Right wrist blade to his throat!

Ah HAH!

He slumped, looking surprised.

The second Hork-Bajir just stood there, puzzled, but number three was a smart Yeerk. He knew right away. He leaped at me. Too late!

I had a foot up, cocked, as I leaned my weight back on my tail, waited for him to rush me, STRIKE!

�RrrrAAAARRRGG!� he bellowed in pain.

<Figure it out, yet, genius?> I said in thought-speak as I mocked the slow one. And then I swung. But even though he was dumb as dirt, he was quick. He dodged. I slammed into a pedestal and knocked it, like a domino, into more pedestals that fell over, sending their little bug boxes skittering.

The Hork-Bajir who I�d gut-taloned was up, holding his insides with one hand and fumbling for an alarm switch with the other.

BrrrrrEEEEET! BrrrrrEEEEET!

The dumb one lunged. Dug an elbow into me! I windmilled my arm, tore his blade loose, and slammed the side of his head with my own head.

He didn�t drop. I didn�t drop. And now it was one-on-one mayhem!

Slash!

Slash!

Hork-Bajir blood was flying!

<Ah hah hah HAH!> I cried in sheer pleasure.

BrrrrEEEEET! BrrrrEEEET!

Old Gut-rip had definitely set off the alarm. And now the doomed fool was throwing the stupid bug boxes at me!

Hah!

Slash! Slash! Slash! Slash!

Four bug boxes, four sliced in half by my supernaturally fast blades.

My main antagonist saw this and worried. He hesitated.

<Come on, Yeerk, let�s dance,> I crowed. He lunged. I lunged.

Crunch. I heard the sound of a bug squashed beneath my foot. I could only hope it wasn�t Jake or Rachel. I wanted them to know I�d killed them.

Slash! I ducked. Swiped up, caught my foe beneath the chin.

Bye-bye chin!

Three of them! I�d taken three of them down! I was a goddess. Nothing could stop me! No one!

Invincible!

And now, to find Jake and the pitiful creature who called herself Rachel.

Suddenly, whooosh! The wall behind me slid up. Gut-rip staggered out. Out into a much brighter room beyond.

A dozen more Hork-Bajir waited, vibrating with destructive energy. And in the middle of them, the one, the only, the most dangerous creature I had ever fought.

Visser Three.

<Close it, you fool! You�ll let them escape!> he shouted in a deafening thought-speak roar. I saw his Andalite tail whip and catch Gut-rip with the blade that was sharper than any Hork-Bajir blade.

The wall slammed down.

<Well, well,> he said, more calmly. <l had my doubts that we�d caught an Andalite. But now, I doubt no more.>

<Come on in!> I yelled. <Come in here and I�ll kill you!>

<Yes, you might,> he said smugly. <So I think I�ll have to decline. Instead, I think I�ll simply wait. Call me when you are ready to submit to me, Andalite.>

<Submit? I�ll cut your heart out!>

<No, I don�t think you will. See, I have an Andalite body. I control an Andalite mind. And I know how to break you. Oh, yes, I do.>

I heard a strange sound. Sliding. Slipping.

I looked up. It was hard at first to tell in the dim light, but then I realized it was true: The ceiling was coming nearer and nearer. And one wall was closing in as well.

<Is there anything an Andalite fears more than being slowly, inexorably, crushed?> Visser Three said softly. <Is there anything a free-running, herd animal like you fears more?>

<I�ll kill you!> I roared. <I�ll kill you!>

<When the room begins to squeeze the air from your lungs, call for me, Andalite. Call for me.>

See, this would work against an actual Andalite, claustrophobic as they are. Also, we got another reference to Gallard, the galactic lingua franca.

Chapter 32-Nice Rachel

quote:

I was on the floor! Out of the box!

Huge, Hork-Bajir feet stomped all around me. But then, after a while, all was quiet. All but the sound of my twin�s thought-speak voice raging at Visser Three.

Then, the terrible realization of Visser Three�s threat: that I had escaped one box only to find myself trapped in another.

Demorph! I told myself. But, no, morphing was horrible. And Rachel � the other Rachel � might kill me. She had to be furious.

What should I do? I was trapped, unable to decide. To demorph was terrifying, to stay in morph was terrifying. It was the ultimate horror of the coward: I was caught between two frightening choices.

Logically if both choices were terrifying, then it didn�t matter. But it did! There was more at stake than fear. I had to find a way out! I had to survive!

Demorph, Rachel, you idiot! I berated myself. You pathetic coward. It was true. Without my other half, what was I? Someone too scared and weak to save myself, someone who could be trapped, helpless, paralyzed between alternatives.

The demorphing began. I don�t even know when I started. I just did. And slowly, then more quickly, I began to emerge, to grow, to feel flesh on my returning bones.

�You,� Mean Rachel grunted in disgust.

She had demorphed. She was human again.

�I came here to kill you. You and Jake,� she said. �But as you can see, we have other problems.�

She jerked her head up at the ceiling. It was slowly descending. The back wall was simultaneously moving forward. It would have been impossible in a normal room. But the Yeerks had the technology.

�J-J-Jake?� I managed to stammer as my lips and tongue and throat formed out of roach shell.

She shrugged. �Who knows. I stepped on a bug. Maybe that was him.�

�Oh, my God!� I wailed.

�It�s a war, he was a warrior, warriors die,� Mean Rachel said dismissively. �The important thing is I�m in charge now.�

�We shouldn�t be human,� I said softly, crying hot tears for Jake. �Visser Three ��

�I don�t think he can see in here,� she said. But she was doubtful. Obviously the thought had just occurred to her. But still, she was probably right. If Visser Three had visual contact with us he�d have come in by now, seeing us as humans. Mean Rachel was right. By accident.

�I�m gonna morph to grizzly bear,� Mean Rachel said. �I�ll kick butt!�

�But the walls are closing in,� I moaned. �If you get bigger you�ll just get squashed sooner.�

She looked up at the ceiling. She bit her lip. Soon, very soon, there wouldn�t be room for a bear. Soon after that there wouldn�t be room for a human.

�If he wants to kill us, why doesn�t he just kill us?� Mean Rachel demanded.

�He doesn�t want to kill us,� I said. I was sitting, eyes closed, hands over my head.

�Of course he wants to kill us, moron!�

�No. He wants our bodies. Only not our bodies. He thinks we�re Andalites. He wants us to surrender. Wants to break us so we�ll let him take our Andalite bodies to use as hosts for Yeerks.�

I could feel Mean Rachel staring at me. I cracked one eye to look at her. She was troubled.

�Yeah. That�s it,� she admitted. She hesitated. She looked like she was fighting something inside her own head. Then, �So � so what do we do?�

Both my eyes opened. Mean Rachel was asking me what to do? Asking me? Me?

�I�d kill them, but I can�t get at them!� she yelled.

I was amazed. It was insane. Mean Rachel, psycho-killer Rachel was asking me what to do. But when I even tried to think about it I couldn�t. I mean, I could, but I couldn�t think about me doing anything.

I could see possibilities: The Visser thought there was only one of us. He wanted us alive. I could see possibilities, plans. But not for me!

However, I could think of Mean Rachel doing them.

This is what Erek was jealous of. Also, note that Nice Rachel is actually calmer than Mean Rachel here.....Nice Rachel can work out plans, Mean Rachel can just react.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 05:28

HisMajestyBOB: Oct 21, 2010; College Slice

quote:

<Submit? I’ll cut your heart out!>

If Rachel was an Andalite, she would have said hearts, plural. Good thing V3 isn't observant!

# ? Dec 3, 2021 16:34

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

HisMajestyBOB posted:

If Rachel was an Andalite, she would have said hearts, plural. Good thing V3 isn't observant!

See, this....this is why we only let Ax speak to Yeerks.

# ? Dec 3, 2021 17:05

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

Chapter 33-Mean Rachel

quote:

<You lose, Visser,> the nitwit said, trying hard to sound like me. You know, brave.

<You�re the one in a box, Andalite.>

Nice Rachel laughed with a mixture of defiance and fear. The fear was real.

<These Hork-Bajir blades are wonderfully useful, almost as useful as our own Andalite tail blades.>

<Do you think you can slice your way out?> Visser Three mocked.

<No. I think I can slice my own throat.>

The reaction was instantaneous.

Swoosh!

The wall slid out of view. Through my compound fly eyes I could see thousands of tiny images of heavily armed Hork-Bajir. Thousands of images translated as dozens of actual Hork-Bajir. All were poised, ready.

So was Visser Three.

I felt the shudder of fear pass through my twin�s Hork-Bajir morph. I fired my wings.

<Make this easy for yourself,> Visser Three urged. <Before you could die from self-inflicted wounds, I�d have surgeons repairing the wound. And if you try and fight your way out we will overpower you with sheer numbers. Surrender, brave Andalite. I have won. You have lost.>

I flew. I flew as only a fly can fly: wild, rolling, jerking, drifting, but ultimately with weird precision.

It was hard to make out the Visser visually in the shattered glass world of my compound eyes. But I could smell the difference between the Andalite body he had and the surrounding Hork-Bajir.

I zipped like a rocket with a busted fin. I landed on a vertical surface. In shadow. And I crawled toward darkness on my six, tiny fly legs.

<Give up,> Visser Three said.

<l � I � I �> my gutless twin mumbled.

I was in far enough. <Visser,> I said. <Oh, Visser Three?>

His head jerked. It knocked me loose from the blue hair I�d been clinging to. I fought the fly�s instinct to escape, escape, escape! I stayed within the shadow.

<There�s a second one!> Visser Three hissed.

<Yeah. And guess where I am, Visser?>

He hesitated. <Come out and show yourself and I won�t have you killed.>

<Visser? I�m in your ear, Visser. Way down inside your head. I can practically see the real you, the Yeerk slug. And here�s the thing you need to think about, Visser: What happens when a morphed Andalite the size of a fly demorphs inside your head?>

<You�d die!> he yelled.

<So would you,> I said.

There was a silence that lasted at least two full minutes.

<You!> he roared for no reason. Then more minutes of silence. Then, I felt his body slump, go limp.

<What do you want?> he said at last.

<What do we want?> I asked Nice Rachel in private thought-speak. <l forget this part.>

<We just want safe passage outside. No guards. Once we�re outside, you�ll fly out of his ear. After all, you don�t want to commit suicide, right? So he�ll believe you.>

I relayed this to Visser Three. Five minutes later, we were outside, in the fresh night air. I flew out of his ear.

The Visser backed away. We backed away.

<Next time I�ll simply kill you. I won�t take chances. I�ll just kill you.>

<Likewise,> I said.

I flew, Nice Rachel ran, and we put distance between ourselves and the foundry. She collapsed in a mess of tears and sobs - weird coming from a Hork-Bajir - when we reached a patch of shabby woods.

<l have to demorph, okay?> she cried. <Then you can kill me if you want.>

I was already demorphing. Soon we were just two identical girls, both named Rachel.

�Poor Jake. I can�t believe �� Nice Rachel boo-hooed.

<I�m fine,> a voice said.

Nice Rachel jerked like someone had stuck a power line in her nose. �Jake?�

<Who else?>

I saw what looked like a cockroach demorphing. Nice Rachel looked away, the gutless simp. <That�s why I like roach morph,> Jake said. <Hard to kill. I was stuck to the bottom of Mean Rachel�s foot for a while. Then I limped over onto Nice Rachel.>

�What, were you just too scared to let us know you were alive? We could have used some help back there! I�ll kill you for that!�

�I wanted the two of you to find a way out,� Jake said calmly as he became more human than roach. �You had to figure out that you need each other.�

I barked out a laugh. �Me need her? Her? The wimp? The wuss? The simp? The mall-crawling nitwit?�

�Yes,� Jake said, almost fully human. �You had no plan, no clue. She came up with the plan. She�s the one with the ability to think long-term. Without her you�re nothing but rage and violence and yeah, courage.�

�Rage is all you need!� I protested.

�Nice Rachel?� Jake said, turning to the twit.

She nodded. �Yes. I know. I do need her. I can�t � I can�t do anything without her. I know she�s crazy, but, you know, she makes me be able to be, like, strong and all.�

�Of course you need me!� I yelled. �I�m me! But you? You�re just you!�

�Mean Rachel,� Jake said. �Without her, you�re out of the Animorphs. Period. You can�t join the Yeerks. You can�t fight them alone. You want to be a warrior? You need to be able to plan, to have a healthy capacity for fear, and, by the way, a sense of duty.�

�Doody,� Nice Rachel said and giggled.

�Look, Ax has a plan. Both of you have to go along, or it won�t work. May not work anyway. But Mean Rachel, if it wasn�t for her, your other half, you�d have lost back there. She saved you, and you saved her, and you�re both just huge pains in all our butts the way you are now, so do it, do it, just do it, or I swear I�ll give you both to Visser Three.�

See, they do need each other. Visser Three is also surprisingly good at sticking to deals in hostage situations, and I think he kinds of respects the Animorphs for all that he hates them and wants them dead.

Chapter 34-Nice Rachel

quote:

It was the barn. We were all there. None of the others had been ambushed. Their trucks had all been decoys. The Anti-Morphing Ray had not been destroyed.

Tobias was perched in the rafters, silent, watching with his intense hawk eyes.

Erek the Chee was there, too. I did not know why. Perhaps he was, like, curious?

<You may begin at any time,> Ax said.

I looked at her. At the face that was identical to mine. At the eyes that were so different, so hot and wild and dangerous. She scared me.

I reached a trembling hand to lightly touch her bare shoulder.

Mean Rachel rolled her eyes. �If this doesn�t work, you�re dead, Ax. Dead! Do you hear me?�

Mean Rachel looked at me with contempt in her half-smile. Then she reached for my shoulder and gripped it hard.

�Do you, Dr. Jekyll, take Ms. Hyde, to have and to hold -�

�Shut up, Marco, you�re already on my list!� Mean Rachel snapped.

<You must begin the acquisition at the same time,> Ax instructed.

�Count of three,� Cassie said. �One � two � three!�

I began to acquire my twin. Her DNA flowed into me, as mine flowed into her. I felt the soft listlessness of the acquiring trance.

Would this really work? I was acquiring her, she me, but I didn�t feel any less like myself.

<Erek,> Ax said.

Erek moved swiftly, smoothly. He dropped his hologram and appeared as the slightly canine looking android we knew as the real Erek.

He placed one hand on me, one on Mean Rachel. Suddenly, I had a bad feeling about this.

�Sorry,� Erek said. Then.

�AAAAARRRRGGGHHH!�

The pain was indescribable! Both halves of me twitched and jerked and seized. Every nerve ending exploded with energy. I couldn�t hear. Couldn�t think. My eyes were blinded by a sizzling halo of light.

<Morph!> Ax yelled in my head. <Morph into the other! Do it!>

Insane! I was being electrocuted! No way could I � and yet � the strangest � strange � melting � warmth � impossible �

I fell to my knees. The assault of electrons was over. I could see dirty hay. I could see the feet of the others.

I tried to stand up. Too shaky. Cassie and Jake helped me up.

�Sorry about that,� Erek said. �Ax said you needed a massive jolt of energy, and we didn�t think you�d tolerate it voluntarily.�

I nodded, confused. I looked around. She was gone.

No, not gone.

�Are you okay?� Cassie asked.

Okay? I wanted to cry. I was me again. For whatever that was worth. The coward was in me.

The killer, too. Human and animal.

�Rachel, do you want to sit down? Maybe talk?� Cassie asked.

�I � I don�t know �� I said.

�I�m here for you,� Cassie said.

I looked up. Tobias. Half-human, half-predator. Our eyes met. �Thanks, Cassie,� I whispered.

�But � Tobias?�

<Yeah. Let�s go, Rachel,> he said. <The two of you and the two of me. Let�s go.>

And so we end our book, as Rachel leaves with somebody else who's caught between his two selves. Also, Erek is a lot more willing to inflict pain on people than he was when we first met him. The writing is a little inconsistent here.

So, that's the book. I know a lot of people didn't like it, but I thought it was ok. It was a lighter, sillier book, and the Rachels were annoying, but they were supposed to be, and after the fairly heavy drama and angst ridden books we got prior to this, silly and light isn't always bad, Anyway, what did people think? Did you like the book? Did you hate it? For those of you who had read it before, did your opinion of it change at all?

The next book is going to be a Tobias book, The Illusion, and it was ghostwritten by Ellen Geroux, the most prolific of the Animorph ghostwriters (5 books!). This is, however, the first book we've encountered by her.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 05:25

Epicurius: Apr 10, 2010; College Slice

So, I haven't done this before. These are children's books and were written like 25 years ago, but that being said, this book has descriptions of torture, of disfigurement, of abuse, and of mental illness. None of it is gratuitous or written lightly, and I think most people will probably be ok with it, but if but you think it's going to bother you, just skip the book and the discussion. As you know, I generally try to post two chapters a day, unless I've got medical or other issues going on, and this book is 27 chapters long, which means we should be done with the book on or around December 19th. So if you want to come back then, that's fine. If you want to talk to me about the book or get advice as to what chapters to skip or whatever and don't want the entire thread to know, my PMs are on, and I'm in the Book Barn discord....not active in it, but I hang out there, so feel free to message me there.

For everybody else, though, we'll start the book tomorrow.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 05:38

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 27, 2024 05:27

cptn_dr: Sep 7, 2011; Seven for beauty that blossoms and dies

Oh man it's this one. Yeah, good call on the content warning.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 06:34

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > Let's Read Animorphs! The Whole Series! Ch-ch-ch-chaaanges

«‹›236 »