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This is pretty much how I handle any social situation as well. I pick a wall to lean on (it might be one that I'd painted, if I could paint) and watch people do whatever they're doing. If someone attempts to engage in activities with me, I let them do that, but I'm rarely going to participate actively. And while I hate spending idle time doing nothing, "being in the location where a social activity is happening" seems to be enough activity, so I usually won't feel compelled to take any other action. I've become a lot more proactive lately about having a novel hidden in a pocket in the event of a boredom (I learned that lesson the hard way at my college graduation), but if the situation makes me feel like reading would be inappropriate, I probably will just think about whatever I can find, and if someone asks me about it, that's about what I'll tell them. If I'm feeling saucy, I'll bring my own folding chair.
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Nov 29, 2021 17:53
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Fwiw the last update is at the bottom of the last page.Nidoking posted:This is pretty much how I handle any social situation as well. I pick a wall to lean on (it might be one that I'd painted, if I could paint) and watch people do whatever they're doing. If someone attempts to engage in activities with me, I let them do that, but I'm rarely going to participate actively. And while I hate spending idle time doing nothing, "being in the location where a social activity is happening" seems to be enough activity, so I usually won't feel compelled to take any other action. I've become a lot more proactive lately about having a novel hidden in a pocket in the event of a boredom (I learned that lesson the hard way at my college graduation), but if the situation makes me feel like reading would be inappropriate, I probably will just think about whatever I can find, and if someone asks me about it, that's about what I'll tell them. I am very, very grateful I can read things on my phone. It’s made my life a LOT easier.
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Nov 29, 2021 19:42
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Nidoking posted:This is pretty much how I handle any social situation as well. I pick a wall to lean on (it might be one that I'd painted, if I could paint) and watch people do whatever they're doing. If someone attempts to engage in activities with me, I let them do that, but I'm rarely going to participate actively. And while I hate spending idle time doing nothing, "being in the location where a social activity is happening" seems to be enough activity, so I usually won't feel compelled to take any other action. I've become a lot more proactive lately about having a novel hidden in a pocket in the event of a boredom (I learned that lesson the hard way at my college graduation), but if the situation makes me feel like reading would be inappropriate, I probably will just think about whatever I can find, and if someone asks me about it, that's about what I'll tell them. Yeah, this is basically my go-to as well in very large social situations. Ones with just people I'm close with, like family, are easier to handle. But boy, does it make holidays complicated. I spent Friday just sitting on my couch reading and surfing the web to recover from Thanksgiving. Also, I try to keep at least one book on me at all times, usually in a purse, to read too. Glad I'm not the only one!
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Nov 29, 2021 21:05
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 Jesus loving Christ, Katawa Shoujo Reddit.
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Nov 29, 2021 23:30
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I'm not touching that, that would be like reading the comments on a news article.
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Nov 29, 2021 23:33
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I have to admit: I liked the Shizune/Misha sprite swap some posts below that one.
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Nov 30, 2021 01:43
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Rin is pretty blunt when she wants to be, even compared to Shizune when trying to start something, and that's part of why Rin owns. I can also kinda sorta get what she means by "it's a mural that portrays a mural."
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Nov 30, 2021 03:53
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Taberquol posted:I'm not touching that, that would be like reading the comments on a news article. I am impressed to learn that there's still a reasonably active subreddit for this. Even if it is, apparently, like 20% lovely NSFW doodles. Ugh.
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Nov 30, 2021 04:14
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We're in the art route, so it's probably appropriate to talk about probably the most common congenital disability in the world, colour vision deficiency (CVD), specifically deuteranomaly (red-green colourblindness). Something like 8% of the male population lives with this, which means that if you're male you have about the same odds of having CVD as being left-handed. To explain by analogy: Imagine most people have a circle detector and triangle detector. When pointed at a square, the circle detector gives a value of 0.2 and the triangle detector gives 0.8. An octagon gets a circle detector value of 0.9 and a triangle detector value of 0.1. By examining the relative values, someone can figure out how many sides any given shape has. People with deuteranomaly (deutans) have a square detector instead of a triangle detector: although it is obvious there is a shape present and that it isn't a circle, triangles and squares are not readily distinguishable. Colour vision works roughly the same way, with wavelengths substituting for shapes. In practice, this means that many colours that include red and green elements look the same to deutans:    There's a whole gallery of these images here if you're interested. You can't become a pilot, but for the vast majority of deutans living with CVD just isn't an issue, it's just something you deal with or work around the few moments it affects you. What is interesting is how, from this thread has shown me, this relatively minor condition runs the whole gamut of disability experiences. You have people assuming that your disability is a personal moral failing: 'I had an art teacher that complained about me putting coloured pencils back in the wrong section. I told her I was colourblind and her response was, "that's still no excuse to not follow instructions."' People invariably trying to force someone to "prove" their disability from a position of profound ignorance, especially with the classic "you said that blue thing is blue, you can't be colourblind." Designers building critical systems on the assumption that everyone is able-bodied - red and green for danger/safety. This one is especially weird since so many engineers are male. A disability aid that doesn't really work in a usable way hailed as a complete cure by mass media. People immediately amping this up to 11 to produce inspiration porn by the truckload. With the accompanying followup of deutans being expected to act out these scenes for a product that might not work at all for them. Parents forcing this "cure" on their children in lieu of learning how to accommodate. Even if it doesn't work for the kid. Deutans forced to mask their CVD since it is not considered a disability worthy of legal protection. It's kind of gratifying but mostly sad to see everyone experiencing the same issues over disabilities that are much more immediately obvious, and for that I appreciate this thread. (p.s. please don't scrape this for AOOO or wherever)
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Nov 30, 2021 05:32
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Decoy Badger posted:Something like 8% of the male population lives with this, which means that if you're male you have about the same odds of having CVD as being left-handed. This reminds me of something. While being left-handed isn't a disability, this hasn't prevented certain people from treating it like one (and not in any sort of good way, obviously). I don't think this happens as much anymore, but it used to be that left-handed children were often forced to use their right hands to "correct" them. They tried doing it to me back in kindergarten, but my mother found out and suffice it to say they did not attempt to make me use my right hand again after that. Just goes to show that there is literally no non-conforming identity that the quote-unquote "normal" people won't try to erase, even if it's as inconsequential as the hand one writes with.
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Nov 30, 2021 06:11
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EclecticTastes posted:This reminds me of something. While being left-handed isn't a disability, this hasn't prevented certain people from treating it like one (and not in any sort of good way, obviously). I don't think this happens as much anymore, but it used to be that left-handed children were often forced to use their right hands to "correct" them. They tried doing it to me back in kindergarten, but my mother found out and suffice it to say they did not attempt to make me use my right hand again after that. Just goes to show that there is literally no non-conforming identity that the quote-unquote "normal" people won't try to erase, even if it's as inconsequential as the hand one writes with. As a fellow lefty, I don't recall anyone trying to force me to correct my handedness, but I've lived in a right-handed world for so long that I've become nearly ambidextrous just as a defensive measure. The greatest difficulty I have is with scissors, because it turns out yes, you do need to use right-handed scissors in your right hand, or the blades won't meet at the proper angle and they won't cut. Handwriting is another issue, and common among lefties from the memes I've seen. My handwriting is completely illegible with my right hand, and with my left I need to adopt a high arm position or I drag my hand across what I've just written, potentially smearing it. And let's talk nomenclature a little bit. The Latin for left-handed? Sinister. The sense of "evil and false" for the term dates from the 15th century (The bend sinister in heraldry indicates illegitimacy, but aside from that mildly negative connotation, is literally just indicating something's on the left side of the shield), but had unfavorable connotations in Greco-Roman times because omens occurring on the left side of the augur were seen as unfavorable. Interestingly, Greek augurs faced north to prophesy, while Roman augurs faced south, and thus during Roman times sinister had conflicting meanings.
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Nov 30, 2021 08:18
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The left/right handedness is weird* for how often it pops up. Even the little things like right meaning both chirality and correctness in English. Here in Italy it's the same, "sinistra" means left while "sinistro" means sinister. In ancient Rome, the mythical left handed guy was Muzio Scevola. His claim to mythological fame? loving up an important assassination at the last moment (he managed to reach the target but missed with the stab) and then deciding to burn off his fuckup of a right hand as penance afterwards, becoming left handed by necessity. The obvious subtext to this myth: if you're a lefty you're a fuckup. *Not really, humanity can be horrifyingly tribal at any and all times
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Nov 30, 2021 08:46
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I went researching because I remembered hearing about kids being punished in school for using their left hand to write* and ended up in a deeeeep rabbit hole. Did you know that the biblical God uses their right hand to accept good people and their left hand to judge bad people? This thing goes all the way to the top! Although, "religious views on disability" is probably outside this thread's scope. *I ended up remembering that it was a specific anecdote from a left-handed friend about her pre-school. Which she attended in 1999. So that's fun.
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Nov 30, 2021 11:54
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Colorblindness seems like one of the easier disabilities to accommodate in professional settings - I worked on a project once with entire groups for things like safety and interface design, and one of the requirements from the interface team was that no interface could ever use color alone as a distinguishing feature. Colored indicators also needed to have text like "ON/OFF" or "YES/NO" with sufficient contrast. It was easy to check because our lead was red-green colorblind. Of course, not everyone took that to heart - he once found himself giving a presentation (created by someone else and handed to us sight unseen) to management and had to tell them to read the stoplight chart for themselves, because his notes didn't have specifics and he couldn't distinguish the colors in the slide. I've taken that to heart and raise a protest any time someone on the same team as me designs an interface that uses only color, although I work with a lot of legacy systems that were built that way and changing them isn't part of our scope. I'm even making a tile-matching game, and one of my earliest design notes was to ensure that the different colored tiles have distinguishable symbols.
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Nov 30, 2021 12:44
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mycelia posted:*I ended up remembering that it was a specific anecdote from a left-handed friend about her pre-school. Which she attended in 1999. So that's fun. I had one of those moments again. "Wait, three years ago? poo poo, this poo poo's still going- wait. No. 1999 was twenty loving years ago, that friend is old enough to drink." The basic observation that this poo poo is still going on is still valid, but.
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Nov 30, 2021 12:45
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I'm not left-handed, but I mouse left-handed these days because my right was starting to have overuse issues after so many years. So I get the minor issues of things like problems buying mice with specific functions that can be comfortably used ambidextrously (a lot of fancy mice are very hand-specific and sometimes only right versions exist), games whose tutorials cannot recognise that I have flipped right/left buttons in the Windows settings and therefore tell me to click the opposite of the button that actually works, and games that are bypassing the windows mouse access entirely and force the use of the left button for main actions. The tutorial being wrong just takes a moment to mentally readjust, but games that absolutely have to be played with left button as primary make me give up and swap hands.
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Nov 30, 2021 16:11
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mycelia posted:I went researching because I remembered hearing about kids being punished in school for using their left hand to write* My paternal grandfather had that happen to him. his left hand was tied behind his back I believe.
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Nov 30, 2021 17:48
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I believe NBA star Ben Simmons is busy having his career ruined (in part) because his father taught him to shoot with the wrong hand.
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Dec 1, 2021 11:32
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Update 88: A Wider Field of Vision (Act 2, Scenes 1-2) Cloudland Swing - Katawa Shoujo OST/Cinematic .png)  A yellow dandelion sprouts in the clouds..png) .png) Someone picks it and holds it in their hand. .png) .png) We jump to Rin dipping her brush in a palette and painting in a schoolroom in the afternoon sun. She leans back in her chair as she paints, her vision blurs, and her eyes close… .png) .png) … And we watch as the scene transforms, her body and surroundings recast in the same disembodied body parts aesthetic as her mural but taken to a nightmarish beautiful extreme. .png) .png) The dream startles her awake. .png) She puts her foot down and we see she’s making a self-portrait. An extremely detailed self-portrait. .png) It cocks its head curiously at her. .png) Back in the clouds, the dandelion has matured in a man’s hands. .png) Rin lies sleeping. .png) .png) Hisao grimaces, holding the dandelion in front of him as Rin rests in a bed of a short distance away. .png) .png) He shakes off the seeds, and they drift over her head. .png) .png) She wakes up and turns to look. .png) Her eyes are clouded. .png) There’s no one there.  And with that we begin Act 2. Katawa Shoujo OST - School Days It's already half past eight, but this morning's class has not yet begun. We were supposed to have physics but the teacher is nowhere to be seen. Had I known this beforehand, I would have slept in too. Suddenly the classroom door slams open and Mutou grunts his morning greeting to us from the doorway. .png)  MUTOU: "Good morning, everyone!" Mutou looks like he has not slept at all. The stubble, his messier-than-normal hair, and the stained dress shirt create a less than favorable impression. I guess he had fun last night at the festival too. MUTOU: "Excuse my being late, I ran into unexpected problems. I'm usually not one for festivals like this, but I hope you all had a good time. After all, these sorts of events are important for you all, since they give you a short reprieve from schoolwork." The class replies with various degrees of enthusiasm, and Mutou proceeds to take roll and get started. MUTOU: "Right, then. Today's subject is photon particle physics..." Before long, I have descended into a comfortable coma-like state along with the rest of the class, letting Mutou's rambling speeches pass through one ear and exit the other without leaving a trace. MUTOU: "Now, who could tell us the solution to this problem?" He's written a rather easy equation on the blackboard. Desperately, he tries to get the class to participate. MUTOU: "Nobody? Come on, guys. Nakai, how about you?" Unfairly singled out and cornered, I give him an answer. It causes his shaggy features to twist into a genial smile that would scare little children senseless. MUTOU: "Precisely! Good work, Nakai!" I'm both disturbed and honored by the fact that he can remember my name only one week after I transferred here. From what I've seen, Mutou has serious trouble remembering the names of anybody else in the class, and most of them have been here since the first year. The room settles into a dreary mood, students and teacher alike trying to get back on track after the festival. I figure last week must've been frantic for everyone. Not a minute too soon, the lunch bells ring. Katawa Shoujo OST - Hokabi ???: "MAKE WAY! IMPORTANT BUSINESS!" I turn my head just in time to see other people scatter out of the way as someone charges from the far end of the corridor towards the stairwell. It's too late to realize that I'm standing in the middle of the corridor, directly in the way of the oncoming human projectile. I try to skip back towards the doorway. Unfortunately, the person running towards me dodges in the same direction. In the following fraction of a second several things come to mind in sequence, yet almost simultaneously. First, I recognize that the girl who is on a collision course with me is Emi. Second, I realize that it feels somehow very natural to be tackled by Emi once again. I could feel almost comfortable if not for the reflexive panic and terror. Third, Emi seems to be carrying a foot-tall stack of papers while running in the hallway. She crashes into me, but at least the impact was a grazing one on my arm this time. .png)  HISAO: "Gee, I wonder. Could it possibly have anything to do with you running through the corridor like you were on fire?" She whimpers regretfully, looking like a hurt puppy. The sight makes me regret my snappish comment the very instant it emerges from my lips.  EMI: "But... I was in a hurry." HISAO: "I can tell." EMI: "Sorry." HISAO: "Don't worry about it." Emi wails weakly one last time and rubs her forehead as if to expel the ache while her gaze sweeps over the hallway floor. As she notices her neat stack of papers spread all over the floor in one big mess, she lets out a horrified yelp. EMI: "Aah! The printouts! Oh no oh no, what am I going to do? Teacher will give me hell if they get dirty." HISAO: "They're probably fine. Let's gather them back up; it won't be a problem." We quickly round up the papers, and Emi tries to sort the scattered pile in her hands back into the orderly stack it was. EMI: "Where are you going?" HISAO: "Nowhere in particular, I guess. Didn't want to be left alone with Mutou in the classroom. I think he has a hangover." .png) EMI: "Have you eaten lunch?" HISAO: "Not yet, but I'm not feeling very hungry anyway." She looks at me incredulously, as if doubting my sanity for letting such a thing out of my mouth. EMI: "You should go to the roof! I promised Rin I would eat lunch with her. I bet she'd like company." Uh-oh. My lunches with Rin have been remarkably unsuccessful. I know where this conversation is going and it's hard to not get drawn along, so I have little choice but to play ball. HISAO: "OK, I'll go pick up some bread or something first." Emi smiles brightly before I say anything further. EMI: "No no, I'll go and deliver these super-quick, and then go buy lunch for us. And Rin, too, of course. What kind of bread do you like?" HISAO: "It's fine, you really don't need to..." EMI: "Don't worry, it's all right. Consider it an apology. I'll be back before you know it!" HISAO: "That's what I'm worried about. Don't get into another accident." Emi starts walking down the hall, but since she's still talking to me, she isn't watching where she's going. EMI: "I won't!" (Silence) Famous last words. She's already jogging down the stairs as she shouts that not-so-reassuring promise back to me. Sighing quietly, I start plodding along in her wake. But instead of taking the stairs down, I climb upwards. The stairwell up to the roof is unlit and just as creepy as it was before. (Wind) The door squeaks weakly in protest as I push it open. Rin is there too, like Emi said, lying on her back at the other end of the pebble-covered rooftop for some reason. Predicting something unnecessarily strange again, I walk to her as slowly as possible. .png)  RIN: "Helloooo." She sounds very drowsy as she says that, stretching the end of the word with a slurred voice. Despite that, her eyes are wide open. .png) I look down at her, my shadow overlapping her face. HISAO: "What are you doing?" Rin raises an eyebrow. RIN: "I thought you had a heart problem, not an eye problem." She answers, challenging the rationale of my perfectly valid question without even tilting her head to look at me. Rin's smartass comments are infuriating. The worst thing is that I'm not sure if she's doing it on purpose or not. HISAO: "All right, then. Let me rephrase: Why are you lying on your back on the rooftop?" She gives a lazy shrug and sniffs dismissively. RIN: "I'm trying to experience. People probably don't do this enough." HISAO: "What exactly are you trying to experience here? I can't really tell, but there's probably a reason people don't do... whatever." She's playing dodgeball with me again, answering my attempt at small talk with riddles I don't want to puzzle out. But I don't want to ignore her, either. RIN: "Yeah, but the reason is that everyone is too busy with their lives to pay attention to the really important things." HISAO: "Like watching the sky?" She tears her gaze away from the sky and finally looks straight at me. The penetrating deepness of her eyes once she focuses them on something is startling. RIN: "You know, if you were a girl I could see your panties." HISAO: "If I was a girl, I wouldn't come this close to anyone who tried to sneak a peek at my panties. I have that much common sense." RIN: "I wouldn't either, but sometimes it can't be avoided. Like now, for example. To tell you the truth, I don't even really want to peek at your panties though. Underpants are the soul of a girl. You shouldn't peek at someone else's soul. Even if you are not a girl." HISAO: "As a guy, I guess I can understand that. To us, they're some sort of half-mythical object that we can't quite comprehend." RIN: "Yeah, that's exactly how I think about them too. What a coincidence." HISAO: "It really is. So did you have world history in the morning class?" RIN: "I skipped class." HISAO: "To do this?" RIN: "Well, I'm not actually doing what it looks like I am doing, or at least I think that what I am doing doesn't look like what I look like, but from your perspective... probably…” RIN: “Yeah, I skipped class to do this." HISAO: "I guess whatever your reason is, it's as good as any." Giving in to the tired feeling in my legs, I sit down on the roof next to Rin. The pebbles are not the most comfortable bed in the world, but if she can stand it, then I should be able to as well. RIN: "What are you waiting for?" HISAO: "Hmm?" RIN: "Try it." I bend my neck backwards to take a look where she is looking. .png) The silvery blue sky, dotted by herds of cloud-sheep, fills my field of vision entirely. While it's pretty, the view is nothing special even though the weather is fair. I give a shrug, trying my best to imitate the nonchalant manner which Rin seems to have evolved to perfection, and lie down on my back. The stones poke at my back through my thin shirt whenever I shift my weight even a little, forcing me to keep as still as possible. I try to ignore the discomfort and myself, instead concentrating on the vastness over us. Far above, the summer clouds drift soundlessly across the dome of the sky. Neither of us has anything more to say, thus silence covers the rooftop. The subdued noises of students on their lunch break, cicadas in the trees and traffic buzzing past the school are humming pleasantly somewhere in the background. HISAO: "Listen, I had a great time yesterday." RIN: "Did you?" HISAO: "Well, to be honest, no. But it was all right. It was probably the longest time I've ever sat in one place without doing anything, which is kinda impressive." I try to make it sound as convincing as possible. RIN: "Is that impressive?" HISAO: "I think it is. I'm usually too restless to do anything like that." RIN: "I think I had a good time too." A cloud passes above us, casting its shadow on the school. A chill surges through me from the sudden change of sunlight to shade. I realize that summer is not in its full bloom quite yet. The only measure of time passing is the slow pace of the clouds moving towards the town. Stray beams of golden sunlight leak through the gaps, blinding me for a moment whenever they hit me directly in the eyes. The blue of the sky looks so unreachable. This reminds me of the time I spent in the hospital, where I was bored out of my mind on a daily basis. Somehow, it didn't matter after a while. I learned to appreciate other things besides watching TV and gossiping with people I didn't even like. A comprehensive sensation of calmness spreads from my sight to my other senses, finally hitting my brain. An airplane zooms by, leaving two thin contrails in its wake like a pair of chalk lines drawn from one end of the sky to the other. I wonder where it is heading to. The low din of its engines carries all the way down to my ears, although it's barely audible over the racket from the quad. RIN: "It's nice." HISAO: "It's nice, but I don't understand why this is more important than going to class." RIN: "Isn't it good to do something you like? Every once in a while?" HISAO: "Of course, but—" (Wind Stops) EMI: "What are you doing?" Emi has snuck up on us without either noticing and is only a step away from me, holding several packages wrapped in plastic film in her arms. .png) She leans forwards and peeks over me, overshadowing my face almost exactly the same way I overshadowed Rin before. I wonder how weird this looks, the two of us lying on our backs on the rooftop. HISAO: "That's what I asked, too." RIN: "I would be more concerned about what you are doing. If I were you, I wouldn't come that close to people who could see your panties." Katawa Shoujo OST - Katawa Shoujo OST - Generic Happy Music EMI: "Rin!" Emi's voice is scandalized, but she quickly takes a step backward, pressing her hands against the front of her skirt so abruptly that the parcels of bread she was carrying fall. I quickly avert my eyes, and glance angrily at Rin. She pretends not to see me. EMI: "Hisao isn't like that, right?" HISAO: "Right." Emi scowls at Rin and crouches down to pick up the packages. She wipes the dust off them, and skips lithely around me to Rin's other side where she sets herself down. EMI: "Anyway, here's your bread. Sorry it took a while." HISAO: "That's all right. Thanks for treating me." I pull myself up into a sitting position and gratefully accept the bread Emi is offering. All three of us ravenously dig into the simple meal. The bread is surprisingly decent and readily fills my stomach. .png) I follow from the corner of my eye the skill with which Rin handles her bread between her feet. EMI: "I haven't seen you on the track in a few days." HISAO: "Oh. Right, I... figured it was too heavy a routine for me to start with." EMI: "So you've been doing something else?" HISAO: "I've been considering my options." She frowns but doesn't pursue the issue further, for which I'm thankful. Emi seems pretty headstrong and I wouldn't really want to get pestered by her about this on a daily basis. I have enough burdens to bear with Shizune and Misha already. We barely finish the lunch before the bells ring, calling us back to our classrooms. .png)  MISHA: "Hicchan!" Misha waves at me as soon as I enter, and starts talking before I even make my way across the classroom. MISHA: "How was your festival? Did you have fun?" HISAO: "Umm... still somewhat undecided on that. I'd say “probably.” Why?" MISHA: "Wahaha~, just asking, just asking!" Her eyes glint in a way that tell me she's not just asking. I can't even start to guess her motives, though. As the well-timed entrance of the English teacher prevents us from talking further, Misha falls back to plan B. .png) Misha’s note posted:I was there all day with Shicchan! We had a lot of fun! Hisao’s note posted:Weren't you supposed to be doing work? Misha’s note posted:Don't worry! Everything went really well. I don't reply to that, and she leaves me alone after Shizune demands her attention. (Silence) My own attention, on the other hand, is directed out the windows. Now that I look at it from here, through the window and the foliage just outside, the sky seems smaller. I catch only small glimpses of blue; everything else is a clutter of noise right in the middle of my field of vision. What “experience” did Rin want out of staring at the sky? Surely she's done it before. Everyone has. It's no use trying to guess her mind, but if I don't do that, then I have no excuse for not concentrating on the teacher's words. I look at the scribbles appearing on the blackboard, trying to figure out their meaning with little success. English really is not my favorite subject. We have a strong mutual dislike for each other. Katawa Shoujo OST - School Days Thick, hot afternoon light invades the corridor, making the air feel heavy and lazy. My body feels weighed down by it as I drag it two doors down the hallway to the art classroom. Maybe this is part of the reason why I didn't join any clubs before: afternoons just aren't suited for activity. .png) I knock on the door of the art room and open it. A girl who was possibly doing something important with the scroll of paper she's carrying turns to reckon me, and smiles in a sweet if a bit confused manner. .png) STUDENT: "Hello...?" HISAO: "This is the art club, right?" STUDENT: "Yep. You interested in joining?" HISAO: "Yeah. In fact, I might already have done so, but we'll see." .png) I give her a weak smile, and her own widens a notch, making me feel less nervous. STUDENT: "Great! Have a seat, then. We'll start when the teacher gets here." .png) Without even scouting the room for a good spot, I walk quickly to the back of the room and settle myself on a free seat, apart from everyone else. A few other members are lounging in their seats, waiting for the teacher. Rin sits alone in a window seat, looking outside. She's the only person here that I know, although a guy I've never really gotten along with from my own class is here, too. Nobody else comes to greet me - maybe introductions are left for later? - so I just settle for silent observation as well. One boy has sunglasses on; an odd sight indoors, were we not at Yamaku. I'll bet he's the blind student Rin was talking about." (Silence) The wait proves to be extremely short. Katawa Shoujo OST - Fripperies .png)  NOMIYA: "Good afternoon, everyone! First things first: Hisao there is a new member, so everyone get along with him." He winks at me unsettlingly. All eight members of the club, including myself, answer his greeting with considerably less enthusiasm. Still, people finally straighten up in their seats and begin to pay attention. NOMIYA: "I think some of you still have projects to work on, so please continue with those if you like. As for the rest, I was thinking that today, we could do some rough studies. "How does that sound?" Nobody answers except with some unintelligible murmurs, which Nomiya apparently interprets as unanimous approval. NOMIYA: "All right, then! Everyone not working on other projects, choose a partner and draw a sketch of one another. You should be able to complete this today, but if not, we can continue it next time, or even do it again if you find it interesting. Remember to pay attention to lighting and shadow, and give it your best!" Pairing up? I feel pretty awkward about it, hardly knowing anyone here. I wish someone would ask me to be their partner. People stand up and move their chairs closer together, but nobody comes to me. Pretty soon, everyone else has paired off. Friends team up with each other, but I'm left alone. Well, there is Rin. She's sitting in the furthest corner of the classroom, still staring out the window and seemingly uninterested in taking part in the exercise. Since she's the only other one without a partner, I walk to her seat. I can't see her face because her hair is covering most of it and she's looking away from me. HISAO: "Rin?" I call out to her. No response. HISAO: "Hey, want to partner up? You're the only one I know here." .png) She seems to finally acknowledge my presence, head turning like a robot as she looks to see who is addressing her. ... Rin doesn't answer, and I don't want to repeat the question, either. I'm sure she heard it the first time. ... Why doesn't she say anything? It can't be such an awful fate to be paired up with me, can it? She doesn't look at my face, and instead stares directly at my chest and stomach. ... RIN: "Oh, okay. Why not?" … HISAO: "Okay. Good. Great. I'll get the stuff for us." Looking at the equipment Nomiya has prepared for today's meeting confuses me. Instead of graphite or pencils, we are apparently supposed to do ink sketches. I've never done anything like that before. The teacher, however, seems confident in my abilities to adapt to this medium. NOMIYA: "Simple! First you do the outlines in ink. You let them dry, and then you shade with the diluted ink. This is called India ink, it works like watercolors. If you're uncomfortable with it, use a pen instead of a brush for the outlines." HISAO: "Got it." I pick up paper, water cups, one pen for me, one brush for Rin and ink for both of us, then return to Rin. Grabbing a vacated chair from nearby, I seat myself directly opposite her. (Sudden Silence) .png) RIN: "Do you want me to do it with my foot or my mouth?" HISAO: "What did you say?" Katawa Shoujo OST - Everyday Fantasy She tilts her head, her brows forming questioning arches, as if she doesn't understand that I didn't understand the question. RIN: "I don't mind drawing either way. You'll look better if I do it with my foot, though." HISAO: "With your foot, then, if it's all the same to you." Nodding in answer, Rin gets up from her seat and kicks off her sandals. In two fluid motions, she picks up the paper sheet and drops it on the floor, then snatches the brush between her toes before sitting on the floor in a weird half-crosslegged position. Although I've seen her do everything with her feet already, from eating to painting, this display of dexterity is so prodigious that I just stare at her, stunned. Rin contemplates her blank paper intently. The sharp tip of her brush hovers over the paper in anticipation. When she raises her head to see if I'm ready, I quickly turn my face away. RIN: "I'll go first. Make a pose." HISAO: "What kind of a pose?" RIN: "It doesn't matter. That's the point. You have to make the sketch of the impression you get, not decide beforehand." I end up just sitting in my chair, my hands hanging limply between my knees. I look at her, and she looks at me for a moment before beginning. Rin's stare is piercing, but impassive, as if she were trying to absorb a part of me into her own self. I feel like I'm physically shrinking under the pressure of her gaze. I get the feeling that for the first time since we met, Rin is actually looking at me, instead of in my general direction. She sketches with confident, bold sweeps of the delicate brush, not caring about the potentially destructive consequences of an accidentally misplaced stroke. After she's happy with the outlines, she stands up to pose for me, stretching her back and legs. This time, she doesn't look at me. Instead, Rin lets her gaze wander around the room. I'm relieved; it's easier to stare at someone when they aren't staring back at you. Even so, I find it hard to get the sketch going. I'm not especially artistically talented, so I'm scared my portrait will turn into something disfigured, especially when compared to my partner's skill. I don't want to embarrass myself too badly on the first try. Rin is not helping the process, either. She doesn't stand still for even ten seconds; tilting her head from side to side to judge her drawing, biting at her lower lip, looking unsatisfied, and constantly shuffling around like she was on hot coals. I finally manage to make some headway on my sketch, and with my outlines done, we both start inking in the shadow and light. Nomiya passes by, and remarks on the beginnings of our sketches. NOMIYA: "Very good! Standing figure is easier for a beginner to get a grasp of." HISAO: "But I didn't choose the pose..." I look at him and then at Rin in confusion, but he's already moving onto the next pair, and Rin seems unresponsive. Just like when she was painting the mural, Rin has become so engrossed with her work that it seems she has shut me, the classroom and the entire world itself out from her own little sphere of existence. Every now and then, she leans backwards, seemingly to get some perspective. Sometimes she bends forward, leaning down until her nose almost touches the paper. This rocking back and forth looks silly. Suddenly, Rin proves she hasn't completely drifted off into a world of her own, and speaks. RIN: "Are you having fun already?" She doesn't raise her eyes from the drawing, which is a good thing. The breaking of the silence sends a jolt of surprise through me, as if I'd been electrocuted. HISAO: "I... don't know, yet. It's hard to say." I can't hear how she replies to my answer because it seems she is suddenly having a private, whispered conversation with her sketch. I don't understand how she can draw so well when she has the attention span of a butterfly. As it seems she lost her interest, I go back to work on my drawing as well. I try to add texture to Rin's hair, to somehow grasp the way the golden afternoon sun lights her bright red tousle aflame and transfer it to my paper in shades of black and gray. Somehow, this pen and the bottle of ink seem like such lousy, inadequate tools for the task. Minutes pass, but the sketch doesn't magically look any more like Rin than it did before. Her voice wakes me up from my despair. RIN: "What about now?" HISAO: "Excuse me?" RIN: "Are you having fun already?" HISAO: "Why do you keep asking that?" RIN: "Because it's a club, right? Clubs are meant to be fun. You joined to have fun. Are you having fun?" HISAO: "Is it important that I'm having fun?" RIN: "...Yes." HISAO: "...Okay, I'm having fun." RIN: "Good." I wonder if I said that just to please her, or if I really meant it. I can't really decide which it was. I don't hate this, though. I can honestly say that much. It's good enough for now.
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Dec 1, 2021 15:26
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Falconier111 posted:Update 88: A Wider Field of Vision (Act 2, Scenes 1-2) I love this one. The mural was also awesome as heck
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Dec 1, 2021 15:47
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Falconier111 posted:
Who decided to let Piers Anthony write dialogue for Katawa Shoujo and can we make him stop
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Dec 1, 2021 18:16
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Explopyro posted:Who decided to let Piers Anthony write dialogue for Katawa Shoujo and can we make him stop Should I be concerned about Hisao turning out to be a giant spider in this route? Or will we be off to see Humphrey soon?
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Dec 1, 2021 18:50
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Explopyro posted:Who decided to let Piers Anthony write dialogue for Katawa Shoujo and can we make him stop He might not be great, but I read that as “Piers Morgan” at first and thought it would be a lot worse. By the way, how is the new image/text format working for everyone?
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Dec 1, 2021 20:17
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I really like it. Even in cases where the text can't be removed from the image, I like how it makes it easier to read the text without flow interruptions.
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Dec 1, 2021 21:54
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Falconier111 posted:He might not be great, but I read that as “Piers Morgan” at first and thought it would be a lot worse. Oh god. That's a horrifying thought, but I'm genuinely not sure which is worse. They're both off the charts on the misogyny scale, though perhaps in different ways. (For anyone lucky enough not to have read any of his oeuvre, Piers Anthony had a fixation on 'panties' and could not seem to stop talking about them. In YA fantasy novels. Just seeing that word makes me remember so many things I wish I'd never read.) Falconier111 posted:By the way, how is the new image/text format working for everyone? I'm liking it. I didn't have a problem with the earlier formats, personally, but this does seem to be an improvement.
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Dec 1, 2021 22:38
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Falconier111 posted:By the way, how is the new image/text format working for everyone? I think it makes updates easier to read as well.
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Dec 1, 2021 23:22
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I'm obviously biased here but I think the new format's good! I'm impressed by the amount of unique art we've gotten just in the first update of Act 2. Rin lying on the roof, a maybe-unique sky shot, and everybody in the art club. Pretty sure the other routes didn't have this much this early on.
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Dec 2, 2021 05:55
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This rooftop scene put some weird thoughts in my head, so I promise this is all relevant once I get to the end. One of my life philosophies is "The best conversations you'll ever have are the ones with people you've never seen before and never expect to see again." Usually, this happens in grocery store lines, because the grocery stores here have all removed most of the cashier stations and replaced them with dozens of self-checkouts that are closed most of the time anyway, so I'm always in line behind someone who's buying a year's worth of produce, has to pay by check, has a government benefit payment method that doesn't work for some reason nobody can figure out, and also needs three things the cashier needs to leave to get. And then can't find the receipt once they leave and have to ask the cashier to dig through the trash to find when it was in their pocket the whole time. (Yes, the same person.) It's annoying having to wait so long, but I share the burden with other people in line, and it gives us some common ground. And my brain is full of ideas that are never going to make sense to anyone else, but that I still want to discuss with someone in the hope of making something useful out of them. Talking to total strangers carries a completely different set of social expectations, including significantly fewer potential consequences for failure. As long as I don't say something illegal or more offensive than context permits, it's unlikely that anyone will ever even know I said it, including the person I'm talking to. I'm not trying to impart useful information, learn anything, or maintain any sort of reputation, like I do when I'm talking to people I know. All I need to do is become a memorable part of that person's day. It's amazing how much I can be myself when free of those constraints. And it can even be a learning experience if I do step over a social line I wasn't aware of, minus the disciplinary writeup, Twitter block, or silent treatment that usually comes with it when I make the same mistake in a friend group. The rooftop conversation with Rin, before Emi arrives, very much has the vibe of meeting one of the people I've had such a conversation with and recognizing each other.
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Dec 2, 2021 12:19
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Falconier111 posted:By the way, how is the new image/text format working for everyone? I said before that I thought it'd be weird to not have the text in the images, but I have to admit that I didn't even notice the format change while I was reading the update, so I guess it's fine after all. 
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Dec 2, 2021 12:24
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Yeah, I love the conversations. So many people in the world are just boring conversationalists; it's refreshing (if sometimes confusing) to have interesting conversations. Half the reason I wish the other routes had more Emi and Rin.
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Dec 3, 2021 01:44
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Karia posted:I'm impressed by the amount of unique art we've gotten just in the first update of Act 2. Rin lying on the roof, a maybe-unique sky shot, and everybody in the art club. Pretty sure the other routes didn't have this much this early on. I’m pretty sure the Rin on the roof shots were also in Emi’s route in an equivalent scene. But aside from those,  .Update 89: Hisao’s Smile (Act 2, Scenes 2-5) (Silence) As the allotted time to finish the studies quickly ticks away, I desperately try to improve my awful sketch, but it doesn't seem to get any better. I want to start again from scratch, but what would be the point? There's no time for that, either. Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight NOMIYA: "Okay everyone, that's it for today! Please turn in the drawings on my desk, and I'll see you all next Monday!" I glance at my portrait. .png) It doesn't exactly look like Rin. I guess you could say it portrays her, but that might be a bit generous. The nose and jaw look hideous, and the shading is terrible. Granted, it's my first attempt at drawing with ink, but it's still pretty bad. RIN: "That's not bad." She sneaked up behind me while I was lost in thought. HISAO: "drat it. I was hoping I could smuggle the portrait to the teacher without you seeing it." RIN: "Why?" HISAO: "I'm not really happy with it. I wish I could draw better." RIN: "You just need some practice. Could you take my drawing to the teacher too?" Curious myself about how the sketch turned out, I peek at the picture. From the way Rin was drawing, it looked like she was really into it. .png) It's excellent. Somehow the seemingly arbitrary strokes come together to form an image of my face, from the shape of my chin, to the messy hair, to the somewhat gloomy expression. .png) Her sketch blows my mind. >"You're amazing!" >"I wish I was as good as you." Rin’s route, fittingly, is the most internally convoluted one in the game. In most routes, choices trip flags directly; here, they usually just influence exactly which options you can pick from later – and that goes double for the first few. This time we’ll be going with tempered positivity instead of pure  . >"I wish I was as good as you." HISAO: "Wow, I wish I was that good. I kind of embarrass myself." RIN: "Wouldn't you have to be me to be as good as me? I don't think you'd want to be me." HISAO: "No, I guess not. Maybe just some sort of approximation then." I take a closer look at her work. It's still glistening with slowly drying ink. HISAO: "You know, I look kind of grim here." RIN: "You do look kind of grim. I mean, I agree; but it's also true otherwise, too. Like this you, not the you I made." HISAO: "I do?" RIN: "I think so at least." Her simple statement makes me suddenly feel incredibly self-conscious. I feel like I need a mirror right now, to confirm or debunk Rin. It's a nasty feeling. Maybe it's just her. I hope it's just her, and that I don't look like that sketch to everyone. It's a good sketch, but somehow I get a really oppressive feeling from it. HISAO: "I see. Anyway, it looks really good. You really are amazing." .png) RIN: "Thanks. I'm glad I could draw you. You are an interesting person." HISAO: "You're an interesting person too, but that didn't help me much." My self-deprecation has no limits today, but Rin ignores it all. I knew that I could never compare, but to see the difference with my own eyes is quite humbling. RIN: "See, I tried to make you look like you think a lot, since you did a lot of thinking. And yeah, I might have overdone the fed-up-with-life expression, but cynics are like that, right?" I want to retort something snappy, but Nomiya gives me no time to think, ushering us to the door. NOMIYA: "Hurry up, you two!" While we've been chatting the rest of the club has taken their leave. I quickly pick up our drawings and take them to the teacher's desk before hurrying after Rin, who has already left the classroom. (Silence) She is not in the hallway, to my surprise. I wonder where she managed to run off to in just a few seconds. Would've been nice to talk more. Well, not that I had much to say, except maybe get back at her for calling me a cynic. It's surprisingly late. I already got used to school ending at the same time every day, so I can feel the extra hours in my head. And my gut. My growling stomach reminds me that I am absolutely ravenous. I'm so hungry that I'd dare to try anything the cafeteria staff has deemed edible. Even when I see today's delicacy, fried mystery lumps, my steely resolve doesn't fade. I stuff the dinner down without tasting it at all, which is probably for the best. I don't have much homework to do, but what little I have won't get done by itself, so I stroll toward the dormitories. Preparing for the post-homework lull, I knock on Kenji's door. He responds from the other side, although I can't make out what he said. I try the door, but it's locked. .png) After several seconds, the locks click open and he opens the door. HISAO: "Hi. Hey, could I borrow a book? The library was already closed after I got away from my club meeting." He is squinting even more than usual and his eyebrows are twitching nervously. Katawa Shoujo OST - Out of the Loop  KENJI: "Club? That's dangerous, man. Indoctrination, groupthink, brainwashing, you name it. High school clubs sow the seeds of conspiracy. Do you know how many secret societies have grown from high school clubs? Watch your back and don't get too deep in. You might not come back." HISAO: "Okay, Kenji. So, how about that book?" KENJI: "Er, sure, but return them and don't spoil any of my books. No drinks, no food stains, no bodily fluids, capisce?" HISAO: "Sure. Thanks." Instead of letting me in, he retreats from the door, closing it again. After a few seconds he returns with a stack of three thick books and hands them over to me. Opening the topmost one, a familiar emblem stamped on the copyright page greets me. HISAO: "Er, your books? These are from the school library." KENJI: "They are now mine." HISAO: "You stole these?" KENJI: "What are you talking about, man? I've been liberating these from the oppressive feminist movement that controls the library." HISAO: "Please say “oppressive feminist movement” doesn't mean that poor librarian girl, Yuuko. She couldn't even oppress a wet towel." Kenji turns away, mumbling something I can't make out, and closes the door behind him. (Silence) Before going to my own room, I enter the bathroom. While washing my hands, my eyes catch my reflection from the mirror above the sink. .png) I try to look for the grimness Rin saw in me, but it's just the usual me inside the mirror that stares back. I attempt to tell myself that this is what I've always looked like, but I realize I don't remember what I looked like half a year ago. Katawa Shoujo OST ~ Passing of Time .png) (Silence) I wake up all sweaty, as if I had run a half-marathon in my sleep. Odd; I don't recall sleeping badly. It sends a little pang of worry through me; I wouldn't want to have my heart acting up without being able to notice it. Still, apart from this odd exhaustion right after waking up, I'm feeling just fine. Katawa Shoujo OST - Stride My mouth is like sandpaper and I have nothing to drink, so I have to go all the way to the bathroom to take my meds. On impulse, I decide to take a shower while I'm at it. While I'm in the shower, I make up my mind that this counts as morning exercise, if I properly compensate with a nice half-hour walk after school. Obviously, I wouldn't want to risk possible complications by going running now. Besides, Emi will never know, and I think she's giving up on me, in any case. Walking could be nice, anyway, just to get to know the area. There's a big forest in the hills behind the school, or I could go down to the convenience store. While still dabbing the moisture off my skin, I set out to find my uniform. I quickly button up my shirt and pull on my pants before going outside. Normally during this time of the year, I'd be eagerly awaiting summer vacation. Having only been at school for a little over a week, I don't really have that kind of feeling. I'm still savoring the school life and considering the sharp and awkward turn my life has taken. I haven't had the time to become preoccupied with getting free of it. Besides, once vacations hit, it'll be a nice surprise for me if I'm not expecting it. Especially with the end of term exams looming ahead. At least I don't have any catching up to do with my studies. My diligence has finally paid off. I push myself past the boys gathered in the doorway and flop into my seat." (Silence) From the corner of my eye I can see Shizune and Misha pause their unavoidably animated conversation and turn almost simultaneously in my direction. They clearly want something from me; I can tell from the way Shizune smiles. It's too obnoxiously bright to be sincere and too calculated to be spontaneous. Katawa Shoujo OST - School Days .png) MISHA: "Good morning~!" Her greeting is made of one hundred percent cheer and bursting energy. HISAO: "Mornin'." I fail to put either of those into my response. MISHA: "You don't look very energetic." HISAO: "No wonder. I don't feel very energetic either. I think I didn't sleep well, but I'm not sure." She slaps me in the back and grins. MISHA: "Cheer up a bit! It's a great day~!" I catch Shizune's eyes. She has a strange, focused expression on her face, but she furrows her brow a little at direct eye contact and looks away. For a moment, I think that Shizune caught a glimpse of my worries, somehow, and is pondering how to respond. But then she quickly straightens her glasses, and with them, her expression.  SHIZUNE: "..." MISHA: "Anyway, we were wondering if you're still interested in that student council position, because we're going to make an offer that you can't decline~" HISAO: "Wait, what? I wasn't really interested in the first place. You're putting words in my mouth." SHIZUNE: "..." MISHA: "Not as such. But, wouldn't it be nice to hang out with us every day while also being useful to your school?" HISAO: "Well, to tell you the truth, I... I kinda joined a club. So it'd actually be sort of hard for me to join the council too. Even if I wanted to. Which I don't, as I said." SHIZUNE: "..." MISHA: "Is that so? Which club is it, Hicchan~?" HISAO: "The art club." SHIZUNE: "..." Shizune's eyes glint in a sinister way as she scowls at me. With the way she looks, I'll be expecting the art club to lose its funding before lunch break, or the art teacher to mysteriously disappear from the face of the Earth. Before she manages to comment, the teacher finally enters the classroom, getting Shizune and Misha off my back, and sending everyone rummaging in their bags for books and pens. I did join the art club, but the first meeting didn't really boost my confidence. I'm not really sure what I'm doing it for. I wish I could draw like Rin, but I don't know what I would do if I could. To what end would I use such a skill? I don't really know. Katawa Shoujo OST - School Days (Muffled) .png) Ignoring the teacher's sleep-inducing voice, I open my notebook to an empty page and press the needle-sharp graphite tip of the pencil onto it. What to draw? I can't really think of anything good to draw. As I hesitate and raise my hand, a meek black mark left on the previously blank paper seems aggravating. I can't even seem to get to the starting line, let alone get started. It's almost a physical feeling of being held back. Annoyingly, it reminds me of my failed attempt at jogging with Emi. I look out of the window in desperation. Right then, a small bird takes flight from one of the cherry trees that grow everywhere on the school grounds. I can't really see it clearly, and it's not like I could tell one tiny bird from another. But I pick it as my subject anyway. .png) Conjuring up the image of a bird in my mind's eye, I turn my gaze back to the notebook and deliberately draw a thick line across the paper to get started. It seems to be mocking me, as I can't follow up right away. Still, it's a start. Getting started is good. .png) I slowly sketch the picture on the notebook page, the image in my brain becoming clearer as the drawing takes shape. .png) It's really nothing, just that nameless nothing bird on paper, but that's not important. .png) My hesitation fades into the background along with the teacher's voice as I continue my struggle. The feathers form a simple pattern in my mind, but on paper it's a mess of too many rough lines despite my best efforts. .png) I realize that I don't really know what a bird's wing should look like, even if I try to think about it. I even put the pencil down and close my eyes for a moment, trying to trace the shape of a wing in my mind. .png) Being this serious about it all of a sudden makes me a little frustrated. .png) Art class in middle school was the “easy” class in between exhausting subjects like math or Japanese. But there's this other side to art, the one that you see when you don't just fool around. .png) It's almost like a completely different thing. (Silence) MISHA: "Hicchan?" .png) I look up to see two girls staring back at me. Katawa Shoujo OST - Katawa Shoujo OST - Generic Happy Music Misha and Shizune have carried their chairs to my desk and are now standing by my sides, looking at my drawing. HISAO: "How long have you two been there?" MISHA: "I think you need more practice." Shizune draws a few sharp signs in the air between herself and Misha. MISHA: "Shicchan agrees." Rin said the exact same thing yesterday, but why did it sound less condescending? HISAO: "You shouldn't judge before I'm finished. Besides, don't you know it's bad luck to see an unfinished piece of work?" Misha cracks in exuberant laughter. MISHA: "What? Don't be silly~! There's no way that could be true." HISAO: "Whatever." Shizune's eyebrows furrow dangerously, and the movements of her hands become abrupt, like the slashing of a knife. SHIZUNE: "..." MISHA: "You should learn to take constructive criticism better." HISAO: "I would if you'd actually offer some." I know I'm getting too defensive and that Shizune is taking advantage of it, but I can't help it. HISAO: "What are you two doing here, anyway?" SHIZUNE: "..." Misha wags her finger admonishingly at my nose. MISHA: "Tsk, tsk, Hicchan. Were you not listening to the teacher at all?" SHIZUNE: "..." MISHA: "We have a group assignment, now." I nod bleakly, and let them take the lead. MISHA: "So, what do you think of the lesson for today?" HISAO: "Not much of anything... I didn't listen to a word of it." Misha slaps her forehead and shakes her head theatrically. MISHA: "What are we going to do with you, Hicchan?" Luckily, Shizune and Misha together are more effective than three or four normal people, so I can mostly slack on the assignment. I try my best to offer at least some assistance, but I end up being mostly useless. (Silence) The teacher keeps us in class five minutes past the lunch bells, but eventually lets us off the hook. I quickly stuff my books into my bag while Shizune and Misha carry their chairs back to their own seats. The failure of a bird-drawing ends up crumpled and stuffed in my pocket as I hurry outside. After that morning class, and throughout the week, I keep bumping into Rin. .png) RIN: "Hello." Katawa Shoujo OST - Daylight (Crowd Sounds) This is somewhat natural, as our classrooms are adjacent. But rather than just cross paths in the hallway like people regularly do, we seem to pause at the sight of each other. We invariably end up talking a little bit, or just silently hanging out together. I think I'm getting used to being quiet in Rin's company, as it doesn't feel as awkward, any more. I am, by nature, somewhat introverted like her, so we fit together well. I think it's actually an anomaly for someone in this school to be so quiet. Most people here seem to love socializing. It's something that I've noticed already, even though I haven't been here very long: people here talk a lot, and they talk all the time. It's a rare case when I see someone sitting alone, just spacing out or whatever. Obviously there are people like that here, too; that Hanako girl and myself, just to name two from my own class. But overall, they are a minority. At any rate, I wouldn't exactly call what Rin and I do “socializing,” either, but it's something, at least. These occurrences themselves don't bother me, but the fact that they happen at all does. I'd hesitate to say that we are drawn together by something, but we certainly act as if we were. However, this sense of a budding friendship is completely wrecked every time Rin opens her mouth. (Sudden Silence) RIN: "Can I listen to your heartbeat?" Katawa Shoujo OST - Parity (Rin’s Theme) She says this, or something else about as outrageous, and I have to fend off whatever nonsense her mind has cooked up during the preceding class of a subject that she is not interested in. It seems Rin has taken a shine to my heart condition as some kind of an extension of her interest in the odder disabilities that people here have, and the consequences of said afflictions. As I stand in front of her for a second too long, looking as flummoxed as I am, she concludes it is necessary to further clarify her request. RIN: "I know I can, but I mean, will you let me?" HISAO: "Why?" RIN: "Do I need a reason? I'm usually pretty bad with reasons." HISAO: "Not per se, but if you want to do it, you probably do have a reason." RIN: "That's kinda clever. You are smarter than you look." HISAO: "Also, I'd rather you not. I think these things should be private." RIN: "Private. I get it." HISAO: "I can tell you something though, if it amuses you. I'm pretty sure it will. My heartbeat does sound very weird. Because of the... you know, condition. And I hear it. All the time." RIN: "So you're paranoid." It's not a question, it's a statement. HISAO: "No, I'm not paranoid. The doctors said that abnormal attention to heartbeat is a common symptom of my... condition." RIN: "So, for you, it's normal to be paranoid." It's not a question either. HISAO: "One could also say that me being like this in the first place isn't normal, either, but what the heck. Paranoia fits me fine." RIN: "I don't think it's something that actually can fit anyone or anywhere. You know, I ate an orange today for breakfast." HISAO: "How was it?" I'm vaguely proud of myself, managing to keep up with Rin's sudden change of topic. RIN: "Excellent. I don't remember when I last ate an orange. Because it's annoying to peel one. It's on the list of things I want to learn properly." HISAO: "How come you ate one, then?" RIN: "Emi had some, so she peeled one for me." HISAO: "Good for you." (Silence) Rin stretches her back and yawns, and says nothing further. She throws me a glance from the corner of her eye while she watches people pass by, but I couldn't say why. I realize, though, that this is the first time I've talked naturally about my condition with anyone. In a way. A group of boys walk past us to Rin's classroom, but she doesn't pay them any mind. They pay none to her, either. My mind wanders off, spurred by the silence. Katawa Shoujo OST - Stride (Crowd Sounds Stop) Maybe I should've let her listen to my heart. It's not like it matters. Nothing really matters that much, at the end of the day. I start feeling depressed for no reason, again. It's like a tidal wave out of nowhere rolling over my consciousness, submerging me underwater. I feel a sigh coming out of my mouth, and I turn away from Rin, pretending to read a poster on the wall. It's an advertisement for the school festival, promoting an event almost a week past. The difference between me and Rin is that I'll be more likely than not dead before turning thirty, while she can't eat oranges without help. I can't decide which one of us is worse off. .png) I try to grasp the passing of time, but it seems hard. I'm still used to the rhythm of the hospital, where trivialities such as the day of the week or time of day didn't really matter. Everything was the same, no matter what. Rediscovering the significance of time is an oddly disorienting experience, and I find myself enjoying the fact that I can categorize events in this fashion. The relevancy of a ticking clock is surprisingly delightful, and I decide to start wearing an analog wristwatch, something I didn't use to do before. When I finally ask Rin on Thursday about something that's been bothering me for the entire week, it's already lunch time. (Crowd Sounds) .png) The time is somewhere between 11:06 and 11:07, as my watch doesn't have a hand to show seconds. It's the old-fashioned kind with a black leather strap and titanium casing. It doesn't look flashy, but a wristwatch doesn't need to. HISAO: "Hey. Remember that sketch you made of me? How you said I looked grim and gloomy or something? I'd like to know what you meant by that." She gives me a weird look and tilts her head a few degrees to the left, but doesn't say anything for a while. (Sudden Silence, Crowd Sounds Stop) RIN: "Well, you see... We've known each other for two weeks and I haven't seen you smile even once." Her striking observation gives me pause. Have I stopped smiling? I have to take what she says as truth. She has no reason to lie. Something about the way she puts it annoys me. I frown at Rin, then try to correct my expression to look less depressed. I haven't been in the cheeriest of moods during the past few months or so, this is true. Does it show so much that someone like Rin can tell, after so little contact with me? Should I try to smile more at Rin? Maybe she could appreciate it, having such a neutral face herself almost all the time. Have I really stopped smiling? (Crowd Sounds) HISAO: "I see. Should I smile more?" RIN: "I don't mind either way. Be as you are; you can't help being Hisao anyway." HISAO: "But it bothers you?" RIN: "I just noticed it, that's all." Katawa Shoujo OST - Standing Tall (Emi’s Theme) .png) Emi skips along the hallway, jumps to a sharp stop when she reaches us, and lightly pats Rin's shoulder. EMI: "Ready for lunch?" RIN: "Depends on what lunch is today. Remember that stew from March? Never again, that." EMI: "Let's go anyway. I'm starving!" As they are about to depart, Emi turns from her friend to me, seemingly as an afterthought, and smiles charmingly. EMI: "By the way, Hisao..." Her tone is way too sweet and soft to be sincere. I can sense the trap about to be sprung upon me by this miniature health-devil. I know what she's about to say even before she continues, because I've been trying to avoid her all week. EMI: "I still haven't seen you at the track this entire week." HISAO: "Maybe I've been there when you haven't." EMI: "That's impossible. I'm there all the time." HISAO: "But you sleep and go to class." EMI: "I do those at the same time as you do." HISAO: "Yeah, I know, I know. I just... haven't been able to pick myself up. Don't rat me out to the nurse, okay? Running just isn't my thing, and I haven't come up with a good alternative." EMI: "Why don't you come to the track meet this weekend? Maybe you'll get inspired." HISAO: "Track meet?" EMI: "Yeah! People from a few other schools come here for some friendly track and field action. It's on Sunday afternoon." I can't think of any reason not to go. HISAO: "Sure. I'll come and cheer for you. I guess you'll be running?" EMI: "Of course! You'll get to see me beat them all! But bye now! If I don't get something to eat, I'll die." HISAO: "See you later.” (Silence, Crowd Sounds Continue) HISAO: "Bye Rin. I promise I'll smile next time." I call after her, as a bit of an afterthought. Afterward, I feel embarrassed about it, and wonder why I said anything at all. (Crowd Sounds Stop) .png) That night, when I'm doubly certain that Kenji won't be barging in the bathroom, I look in the mirror and smile at my reflection. The me in the mirror smiling at the me in the bathroom looks awfully fake.
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Dec 3, 2021 15:53
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"you need more practise" no poo poo Shizune he's been in the Art Club for like a week. Argh. This is why no-one wants to join the Student Council! I'm already enjoying this route the most of the ones we've seen, which makes me very worried for where it's going to go from here. The way Rin bounces from subject to subject reminds me of ~my wife~, which is probably helping endear her to me. Wife is not quite as socially awkward as Rin, though. (Although...Can you even call what Rin does "social awkwardness"? She doesn't seem to feel all that awkward about it. "Social not-giving-a-gently caress-ness"?)
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Dec 3, 2021 16:21
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mycelia posted:"you need more practise" no poo poo Shizune he's been in the Art Club for like a week. Argh. This is why no-one wants to join the Student Council! Yeah, I agree on that. Also, Hisao definitely had a point on constructive criticism. 'You need more practice' is really not a helpful critique. Rin's route is definitely more interesting to me than I anticipated. I like all the new CGs and the art drawings; the artist did a really good job with the differences between Rin and Hisao's first portraits, though I'm not sure if they were done by the same person. I also like how Hisao is a bit more subdued in this route than in others. I don't know why, but it feels more natural to me that he'd still have some difficulties adjusting to the new school and his reactions to things like time after being in the hospital for so long. Rin is sweet, and I too can appreciate not eating oranges because of how difficult they are to peel and then the shock of how good they are once I do eat one. Also, I thought the bird looked really good. Definitely better than anything I could draw!
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Dec 3, 2021 16:31
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It's a pretty dang good drawing of a bird.
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Dec 3, 2021 17:09
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This is bothering me a bit and could probably be answered by going back and rereading Emi's route, but I guess Emi and Rin know about Hisao's condition where as the other girls didn't at this point? It just threw me off a tad when Rin just casually mentions it and Hisao takes it in stride vs the previous two routes we've seen where he clearly goes out of his way to hide it. Context kinda answers my question already but man it feels a little off putting when put next to Hanako and Shizune's routes where he hid it. Gotta say Hisao's current headspace in this route is a bit close to home for my own experience during high school. He's definitely shown signs of depression in previous routes but Rin's so far really seems to bring it in focus a lot more and examine it. It's kind of rough already and I can really see this going places that are gonna be tough.
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Dec 3, 2021 17:57
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mycelia posted:(Although...Can you even call what Rin does "social awkwardness"? She doesn't seem to feel all that awkward about it. "Social not-giving-a-gently caress-ness"?) Evil Kit posted:This is bothering me a bit and could probably be answered by going back and rereading Emi's route, but I guess Emi and Rin know about Hisao's condition where as the other girls didn't at this point? It just threw me off a tad when Rin just casually mentions it and Hisao takes it in stride vs the previous two routes we've seen where he clearly goes out of his way to hide it. Context kinda answers my question already but man it feels a little off putting when put next to Hanako and Shizune's routes where he hid it. Dareon fucked around with this message at 18:01 on Dec 3, 2021 |
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Dec 3, 2021 17:59
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Tulip posted:It's a pretty dang good drawing of a bird. 
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Dec 3, 2021 23:05
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Dareon posted:Yeah, when he first meets Rin, she asks if his problem is in his pants or his chest, because otherwise his disability is non-obvious and he basically just tells her. And Emi of course is working (or in this route, attempting to work) along with the nurse on Hisao's heart problem. It's been so long I'd totally forgotten, makes sense considering Rin's personality.
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Dec 4, 2021 00:54
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The writing in this route is so much better than Shizune's, it's wild. It feels like the writer had experience writing actual scenes and dialogue.
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Dec 4, 2021 01:47
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So far I like Rin the best. Emi is too energetic for me to sync with, and Shizune and Mishha are too overbearing, and I'd find myself avoiding contact with them. Hanako is nice, but I don't know how well I'm equipped to deal with PTSD. With Rin, though, she's really chill, and her head's in the clouds in a good way. She offers a bizarre, but valid, perspective on things. If you took about half of Rin's out-there-ness and added about half of Hanako's shyness and trauma, you'd get a pretty good approximation of my girlfriend.
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Dec 4, 2021 04:00
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