r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

pentyne posted:

lol buddy you did her a huge favor, she can now jettison your rear end and avoid your trash family without ever having to deal with their "jokes"

Option 1: Piss off your girlfriend by not letting her bring her hair towel.
Option 2: If anyone in the family makes any comments about the towel, tell them to gently caress off. Girlfriend appreciates you taking her side. If no one makes any comments about it, great.

hm, this is a difficult dilemma

# ? Nov 30, 2021 04:04

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# ? May 29, 2024 10:53

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

It is very important to always know where your towel is, so don�t let anyone interfere with that

# ? Nov 30, 2021 04:05

Hellblazer187: Oct 12, 2003

It's not just a towel, though. If someone secretly unpacks something you had wanted to pack, that's just a huge weird manipulative breach of trust. So yeah, it's "just a towel" but it's also "I'm going to decide what she needs, secretly."

# ? Nov 30, 2021 04:11

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

One towel for all the guests? Ewwwwwwww.

I wash my towels in with the clothes (gasp, horror) and it's once a week or so, but the idea that all the houseguests get one between them is gross.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 04:26

thunderspanks: Nov 5, 2003; crucify this

I was with my ex for 10 years who was obsessed with her curly hair maintenance and boy howdy there would have been some god damned hell to pay if I pulled a stunt like that. Christ almighty don't gently caress with your partner's self care routine.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 04:30

oh jay: Oct 15, 2012

You know what's weird, when you go to a house that has no towels hanging in the bathrooms. No hand towels. No bath towels. It's like you want guests to walk around touching things with wet, slightly pissy hands.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 04:32

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

One of the ways I sucked as a daughter-in-law (thankfully, my MIL loved me anyway) was that I used the decorative hand towels. And the decorative soap. Also, once, the decorative dishtowel.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 04:39

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for playing baby shark for my 7 year old until his room was clean?

quote:

My 7 year old son hates, and I mean hates the song baby shark. Always has. And I�ve been after him for the last hour to get him to clean up his toys! So I decided that I would try to speed things along and play this song on repeat until his room was clean.

I kid you not, the kid had his room spotless in like 5 minutes, it was great! He clearly didn�t like it, and I only played the song when he got distracted from cleaning, he would let out this big dramatic sigh and he�d start cleaning again, then I�d pause it.

Now everything is picked up and he�s got the song stuck in his head and he�s singing it under his breath, and it�s bothering his dad now. He said that if I have to use this technique, I should pick a less annoying song to play in the future. I feel kind of like a jackass now because while it worked, I don�t want to subject my kid to some kind of weird audio torture. AITA?

Edit: Reviews are mixed but I�ve decided to take my YTA rating with good grace. I�ve apologized to my son, gave him a treat for cleaning his room and now we�re watching a Goofy Movie together.

Next time I will let him pick the song and we will have a fun race game to see how much he can clean while the song is playing.

Thank you everyone for weighing in and I hope you are having a good Monday.

New idea for all the posters whose manchild husbands/bfs won't clean/wipe their asses.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 04:41

DeeplyConcerned: Apr 29, 2008; I can fit 3 whole bud light cans now, ask me how!

bell jar posted:

I'm not saying that I eat my steaks well done *because* of guys like this, but it is a significant factor (they are also delicious)

Mr. Trump, i had no idea you posted here!

# ? Nov 30, 2021 04:47

Miserable Maid: Apr 22, 2010; Cat Army

Because of this thread, I looked up the emotionless robot couple that gave away their kid to the MIL on Reddit to see some comments.

They posted in r/childfree, presumably to get more favorable reactions? And the posters there, (who hate kids and call them crotch goblins and parents breeders) were STILL genuinely disturbed by the OP and worried for the child's mental well-being

# ? Nov 30, 2021 05:02

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Miserable Maid posted:

Because of this thread, I looked up the emotionless robot couple that gave away their kid to the MIL on Reddit to see some comments.

They posted in r/childfree, presumably to get more favorable reactions? And the posters there, (who hate kids and call them crotch goblins and parents breeders) were STILL genuinely disturbed by the OP and worried for the child's mental well-being

/r/childfree also just MURDERED the infamous person who was pissy over a kid winning a Harry Potter contest. They have some standards! I don't know what exactly they are, but they're there.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 05:25

The Lone Badger: Sep 24, 2007

Miserable Maid posted:

Because of this thread, I looked up the emotionless robot couple that gave away their kid to the MIL on Reddit to see some comments.

They posted in r/childfree, presumably to get more favorable reactions? And the posters there, (who hate kids and call them crotch goblins and parents breeders) were STILL genuinely disturbed by the OP and worried for the child's mental well-being

I mean, I hate children but I'm perfectly capable of understanding that that's my problem not theirs.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 05:38

PetraCore: Jul 20, 2017; 👁️🔥👁️👁️👁️BE NOT👄AFRAID👁️👁️👁️🔥👁️

Yeah frankly generally the people who hate kids but know they hate kids so they're not going to have any are doing alright or at least are the rear end in a top hat for other anti-kid actions they take, two people having 0 interest in having a kid but having one anyway bc it's what is done usually ends up pretty badly.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 06:05

Pookah: Aug 21, 2008; 🪶Caw🪶

RoboRodent posted:

It's this, plus there's nothing a parrot likes more than drama, so making a big deal about it and yelling at them is most likely to get them to do it again, because they want to see you react.

Greys are plenty smart enough to figure out what words get a fun reaction out of people.

Exactly what I was about to post

# ? Nov 30, 2021 06:49

GigaPeon: Apr 29, 2003; Go, man, go!

Does anyone have the story where a guy was getting married and the father's present was to do a special dance with his brothers and wife but the guy wasn't allowed to dance cause he was too much of a goof or something?

I think about it a lot. WHAT WAS THE DANCE???

# ? Nov 30, 2021 07:02

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

AITA For unpacking my GF�s towel

Helping your GF and family bond by letting your mom and sisters know about this special hair towel that could save them time and money when it comes to their hair was right loving there. Jesus, instead of the easy open layup he somehow gets an own goal. Beautiful.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 07:13

Barudak: May 7, 2007

GigaPeon posted:

Does anyone have the story where a guy was getting married and the father's present was to do a special dance with his brothers and wife but the guy wasn't allowed to dance cause he was too much of a goof or something?

I think about it a lot. WHAT WAS THE DANCE???

Well the dance was forbidden, so obviously Lambada

# ? Nov 30, 2021 07:15

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

GigaPeon posted:

Does anyone have the story where a guy was getting married and the father's present was to do a special dance with his brothers and wife but the guy wasn't allowed to dance cause he was too much of a goof or something?

I think about it a lot. WHAT WAS THE DANCE???

Narcissalsa

# ? Nov 30, 2021 08:01

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA For asking my wife to get rid of her blankie that has a name I hate?

quote:

(Throwaway for privacy)

My (31M) wife (34F) has this little blanket that she�s had since she was a baby. Her dad gave it to her when she was 2 I think. For whatever reason, they named it, it�s name is �Benjamin.� My wife loves this thing. She took it with her to college and when she studied abroad for a year. It�s all old and ratty but she�ll still hold it sometimes.

The problem is with the name. She dated a guy named Ben in college (we met when she was 27). When we first got together we told each other everything sexual we�d done with other people, and she�d done a lot with him. A lot of stuff I wanted to do, including something she said she didn�t want to do again (with me) even though she did it with him. She said they never hooked up outside, but then I found pictures on her hard drive while she was away that proved she lied. I was really pissed that she lied but she apologized a lot and promised to tell me the truth from now on. But the damage was done, and just hearing his name makes me feel sick.

Since we had our daughter (1.5yrs), my wife lets her play with Benjamin and takes pictures with her and this blanket. I hate seeing it and hearing its name but my wife doesn�t think it�s a big deal. She says the blanket came along way before she ever met Ben and they have nothing to do with one another. She doesn�t even think about Ben from college anymore and he�s not associated with the blanket. I feel like that�s really dismissive and she doesn�t care about my feelings, because of course I associate Ben with this blanket.

Here�s the issue: we�re packing up the apartment to move into a new place, and I asked her to not bring �Benjamin� to our new home. She can donate him or whatever, but I want to have a fresh start together, without this bad reminder of her past.

She got really upset and doesn�t want to get rid of Benjamin. She says it�s really special and it�s not fair of me to ask her to throw away a part of her childhood. But I feel like, I�m her husband, and she should care more about my feelings and how much it hurts me more than some blanket.

In conclusion and TL;DR: AITA for asking my wife to get rid of her blanket because it has a name that triggers me about her ex and her lying about her past?

# ? Nov 30, 2021 08:32

TheWeedNumber: Apr 20, 2020; by sebmojo

Evil Willow posted:

AITA For asking my wife to get rid of her blankie that has a name I hate?

Someone sure wrote that huh

# ? Nov 30, 2021 08:39

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

I'm the guy haunted with visions of rear end to mouth when I see my daughter holding a blanky.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 08:53

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for kicking my dad and his wife out of my (technically their) house after they said they wanted to name their unborn twins after my deceased siblings?

quote:

Using a throwaway because my step siblings use Reddit.

Some background:

My (27f) younger brother, sister and mom passed away in an accident 8 years ago. My father (52m) and I used to be very close before this but we�ve drifted apart since then. I think some of it has to do with the fact I look a lot like my younger sister. She was always close to my dad and we would often joke she would take care of him when he got older. My father also isn�t really a �believer� in therapy and refuses to go. When I started going to therapy a few months after the accident, he said that I should be stronger and quote �stop giving people the satisfaction of seeing you weak�.

He remarried two years ago, his new wife and I don�t get along. Some things she�s done include telling my father not to invite me to the wedding, telling him I was bullying her children because I refused to let them have an unsupervised party at my beach house and I also told them they can gtfo if they continued to treat the staff disrespectfully. Her kids were 18F and 17M at the time. When she married my dad she was also under the impression that the money he spent on her and the house he lived in was his (he never said it was, she just assumed). My mom left me a nice amount of money in her will and I used it to invest and also work in the tech field so I�m well off. However, considering my age I don�t think she was expecting this and I don�t think she was very pleased either.

Onto the issue:

At their gender reveal party (they are expecting a boy and a girl) my dad announced they will be naming the kids after my dead siblings. I�m shocked and I interrupt to tell him that naming the twins after my siblings is weird. His wife tells me to stop being jealous. At this point I�m pissed I ignore her and tell my dad that he would always stick up for me in the past yet let�s his wife belittle me now, how hurt I was he didn�t invite me to his wedding, how he never once said he was proud of me or even a thank you or I love you after I bought this house for him. And basically said that if my siblings were here they�d be disappointed in him and ashamed to call him dad since he�s been a pretty lovely one so far. My father told me to get out of his house and as I am about to leave his wife comes up to me and I kid you not says �don�t let the door hit your rear end on the way out�. So I walk back in tell my dad that he and his wife had a month to leave my house. Well wife started crying, dad said I was pathetic and her family has been messaging me telling me to apologize. But my friends, and family on both my mom and dads side agree with me although they think I should let my dad stay and kick wife out however I want both out. I get that I acted a bit emotionally and I am starting to feel bad for stressing a pregnant women. So AITA?

is the hand that feeds really that delicious

# ? Nov 30, 2021 08:58

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Hello goons,

This peculiar little thing has been brought to my attention. As I know little about Python, and many people have told me �no keep it that way, trust me�, I do feel others may get a kick out of this. Terrible relationship advice into a program.

https://github.com/tykavanaugh/rfuck

Currently very much a work in progress since most basic operators besides very, very simple loops and variable assignment has not been implemented yet.

A functional "hello world" program (or just "hello" right now) that prints "HELLO" to the console:

quote:

Backstory: my family has lots of political drama
so dad, for clarity lets call him d, is generly it
more backstory by that I mean the source the drama
so trump, for ease lets call him t, is kindaa important
the thing, who for simplicity lets call it l, is superly online
kinda guy, you know just for more backstory
my family, for clarity lets call f, is a f a
mily that likes to argue about politics and history stuff
our cat, for clarity lets call it dad, is a cuddly guy

I calmly explained to dad I was poly

he yelled that d would never have a vegan son
i proclaimed that t was a bad president
i told him that l my bro is also poly
he told us that l was a bad son as well
and for more backstory my mom was around
my mom, for ease lets call her m, is against aborition
she declared to us that m jepordized the beans
for some more backstory, m is my mom and she buried the beans

my room, for clarity lets call it room, is too sm
all for me I think, just adding more backstory
our house, for clarity lets call it house, is a b i
t too big if you ask me while we continue to add relevant history

our family, for simplicity lets call it fam, is a not no
bit of a mess

our dad, for clarity lets call him dad

has some anger issues, just to add more backstory

dad refused to discuss and stormed off before we could talk about them giving me their house

Output:

quote:

HELLO

# ? Nov 30, 2021 09:08

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

PetraCore posted:

two people having 0 interest in having a kid but having one anyway bc it's what is done usually ends up pretty badly.

And a shitload of kids are all too aware.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 09:11

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

YTA

# ? Nov 30, 2021 09:11

Antivehicular: Dec 30, 2011; I wanna sing one for the cars
That are right now headed silent down the highway
And it's dark and there is nobody driving And something has got to give

Mx. posted:

AITA for kicking my dad and his wife out of my (technically their) house after they said they wanted to name their unborn twins after my deceased siblings?

is the hand that feeds really that delicious

You know, this thread has seen a lot of "remarried parent replacing their first family" stories, but I feel like "I'm gonna name my new babies after my dead kids" is still novel. Does the new wife have the same name as the old one, by any chance?

# ? Nov 30, 2021 09:14

webmeister: Jan 31, 2007; The answer is, mate, because I want to do you slowly. There has to be a bit of sport in this for all of us. In the psychological battle stakes, we are stripped down and ready to go. I want to see those ashen-faced performances; I want more of them. I want to be encouraged. I want to see you squirm.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA For asking my wife to get rid of her blankie that has a name I hate?

This is absolute pro-tier spoiler usage, I was totally expecting it to be a parrot

# ? Nov 30, 2021 09:38

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

webmeister posted:

This is absolute pro-tier spoiler usage, I was totally expecting it to be a parrot

Lol me too

I slightly suspected that recent parrot stories had encouraged the OP to word-search 'parrot' and this was the result. The spoiler is even the right length!

# ? Nov 30, 2021 09:41

Beachcomber: May 21, 2007; Another day in paradise.; Slippery Tilde

This is just another front of birb internet trying to convince people that they should get a parrot.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 09:45

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Beachcomber posted:

In my darker periods I fantasize about carrying around something gross smelling and spraying it at people with too much perfume and smokers smoking where they aren't supposed to.

Try liquid rear end fart spray.

El Spamo posted:

what the gently caress is with people trying to sneak stuff into peoples food

Many people do not value consent.

Hellblazer187 posted:

I should buy a sous vide machine (is it a machine I don't even know what it is)because I'm pretty bad at cooking steak.

Specifics vary, but if you're just going to use it yourself in your house, you can find an inexpensive one that's a cylinder that clamps on to the edge of your pot and plugs into the wall to get it to x temperature. That way, you can see if you like sous vide cooking.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 10:11

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

Should I try to re add a girl I used to like on social media?

quote:

I (22m) used to talk with this girl (22f) a few years ago. We both liked each other, but I came on too strong too fast. I didn�t come on too strong sexually, more just like me wanting to be involved with her life, if that makes sense. Things ended, before they fully began, and she removed me from social media. Basically cutting off all ties, since awhile after I got a new phone and number, and never save old contacts. A few years have gone by and I still think about her, and can�t help but think she has thought about me too. Should I try to add her back again on social media and see if she is open to communication? Or just leave her be for good? I don�t want to come off as a total creep, but I keep telling myself to try one last time, but call it quits if she is not receptive. I�m honestly so torn by this. Any advice would be great.

TLDR: should I try to rekindle an old friendship/relationship from a few years ago?

quote:

Even making this post made me feel like a creep, even though I swear I�m not lol.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 10:32

SilvergunSuperman: Aug 7, 2010

I feel like that's barely a blip on the creep meter to say hi unless he's lying about how badly things ended.

Is this a trap? Am I the creep?

# ? Nov 30, 2021 10:36

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

SilvergunSuperman posted:

I feel like that's barely a blip on the creep meter to say hi unless he's lying about how badly things ended.

Is this a trap? Am I the creep?

Look in your heart - you know the answer.

(Yes).

# ? Nov 30, 2021 10:58

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

I have never �fallen out of touch� with someone so severely they deliberately cut ties on social media and lose my number; I�m pretty sure you have to be real creepy or otherwise lovely for that to happen.

And from the tone of the post there�s no way he can say �hi� without coming off as a turbo-creep, and you can bet his resolve to never bother her again will falter time and time again.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 11:19

ilmucche: Mar 16, 2016; What did you say the strategy was?

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

I have never “fallen out of touch” with someone so severely they deliberately cut ties on social media and lose my number; I’m pretty sure you have to be real creepy or otherwise lovely for that to happen.

And from the tone of the post there’s no way he can say “hi” without coming off as a turbo-creep, and you can bet his resolve to never bother her again will falter time and time again.

I feel like this is what the dude in love with the lesbian from last page should do. Just drift away. They're 18 and have graduated anyway, they'll drift apart regardless but he can get a head start

# ? Nov 30, 2021 11:34

Microplastics: Jul 6, 2007; It's what's for dinner.

People hate letting go, it's like an addiction for some people isn't it

# ? Nov 30, 2021 12:19

Noir89: Oct 9, 2012; I made a dumdum

SilvergunSuperman posted:

I feel like that's barely a blip on the creep meter to say hi unless he's lying about how badly things ended.

Is this a trap? Am I the creep?

I read it like he stalked her with the whole "I came on too hard to get into her life" thing.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 12:59

DoubleNegative: Jan 27, 2010; The most virtuous child in the entire world.

AITA for not wanting to spend my honeymoon with my wife's brother?

quote:

Her parents paid for the trip and it is quite lavish. They decided to have her brother come along. He is in the room next door.

I do not want to spend my honeymoon with her family that we just spent a week straight with. She is making me feel badly.

He is coming to most events and is very overbearing and obnoxious. I think it is pretty cut and dry that we shouldn't have to be with her brother on this trip.

He is already joining us for dinner, breakfast, a desert safari, and a boat cruise....

Imagine being so passive that you actually ask Reddit the question, "am I the rear end in a top hat for wanting to be alone with my wife on my own honeymoon?"

# ? Nov 30, 2021 13:21

Bargearse: Nov 27, 2006; 🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.

Angry steak man did absolutely nothing wrong, nor did sweary parrot man.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 13:28

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# ? May 29, 2024 10:53

greazeball: Feb 4, 2003

Steak man should have burnt the everloving poo poo out of her steak, then microwaved it for 10 minutes and then made her eat it.

# ? Nov 30, 2021 13:30

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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