r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Local man never fed once in his entire life, says local man.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 13:29

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# ? May 29, 2024 12:38

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

Das Boo posted:

Local man never fed once in his entire life, says local man.

hes already thinking like a cat. this puzzle could be cracked yet

# ? Dec 4, 2021 13:40

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

hes already thinking like a cat. this puzzle could be cracked yet

But a cat can�t open the food either

What if he is the Cat?!?

# ? Dec 4, 2021 13:55

AnoHito: May 8, 2014

CharlestheHammer posted:

But a cat can�t open the food either

What if he is the Cat?!?

Oh my god, it all makes sense now. All he did was jump up on the keyboard a few times, and she completely freaked out at him. And after he spent so much effort meowing for attention, how callous!

# ? Dec 4, 2021 13:58

Pomme de Terror: Sep 30, 2021; Well, one of us must have killed him!

AITA for calling my sister a manipulative b*tch?

quote:

I�m 24f and my sister is 26f. I�ve been with my boyfriend �Ben�, 29, for 3 years. He�s a stripper. I always knew because I met him when he was hired at my friends 21st birthday party.

I�m used to women throwing themselves at him. I can live with it because I know that he comes home to me every night and tells me about his day. He has a no touching rule about the �you know.� So it doesn�t bother me about what he does.

Here�s the problem. I�m not in his league and my sister uses this at every turn. He met my family a few months after we met and she wouldn�t stop flirting with him. She kept mentioning that I need to be careful he�ll cheat.

He came to a Halloween party as Aquaman (he�s Samoan with long hair so he looked the part) and my sister made inappropriate jokes. She�d say things like �I�ve got $1s in my pocket.� It was making him uncomfortable so we left early. I text her that he is a man, not just a stripper, and to treat him like it. She told me I was imagining things because I�m paranoid he�ll leave me for someone more attractive.

The next time was last Valentine�s Day when her then boyfriend asked us all on a double date to a small casino opening. He was awesome so I thought her attention would be on him. She would sneak in between me and Ben as we were playing so she could be near him, she�d �blow on his dice for good luck� etc. Completely forgot about her boyfriend the whole night. My boyfriend is still friends with him to this day.

Last weekend, her best friend held a bachelorette party that my sister had to organise (as the MOH). I don�t know many details but I know it was the classic bachelorette. I didn�t know when it was, where or anything like that, so when Ben told me he was hired for a bachelorette party, which he often is, I didn�t put two and two together.

He got home and said �we need to have a serious talk.� I thought he�d cheated at work, so I was on edge. He told me that my sister had used her friends details to book him and that he didn�t know she was the one who hired him, or he would have passed it to one of his friends. She was all over him, giving him money and encouraging him to �take it all off.� She knew he didn�t take underwear off. It�s one of the first questions she asked when he met my family.

I drove to her house and confronted her. She told me he was the only stripper she knew and that she had an obligation to hire one for her friends party because she was like a sister to her. I AM her sister. She said he was lying about the night and that she took a back seat. She said it was all in my head because I knew he would leave me. I called her a manipulative b*tch using her friend as a way to get what she wants and for trying to put this on me out of jealousy and she closed the door and called my father, that just so happened hated me being with a stripper anyway.

They�re both pissed at me for making it personal and causing drama in the family.

I�ve just had a talk with �Ben� and we�ve discussed it. I asked if he wanted to take a break until I make my sister not, well, be her. He didn�t want that. I said I would support him taking legal action against her but he�s convinced him being a stripper sets him back already.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 14:02

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Cat man reminds me of my childhood cat that would whine and cry and lead you to his food bowl but it would be full and he just wanted me to look and it and shake the food around before he ate.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 14:06

Xun: Apr 25, 2010

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Cat man reminds me of my childhood cat that would whine and cry and lead you to his food bowl but it would be full and he just wanted me to look and it and shake the food around before he ate.

My dog does that too when he has kibble and I'm nearly certain it's an attempt to guilt us into giving him wet food.

your food bowl is full dog stop it

# ? Dec 4, 2021 14:12

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

CommissarMega posted:

I still can't get over how helpless that guy is. Is there somewhere in the world where opening a tin or bag of cat biscuits is somehow much more difficult? All that's coming to mind is that maybe he and his wife have a really complicated IOT can opener or some such garbage. Even then though, if push comes to shove and he's well and truly worthless he can order some fish and chips or something to give to the cat.

I can only imagine OP is this guy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8oOPn1t0Wiw

# ? Dec 4, 2021 14:16

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Foo Diddley posted:

also when i moved out i found out there was a lot of domestic poo poo i actually had no clue how to do, so what i'd do is call my folks and ask them. it really made them happy to 1) hear from me and 2) still feel necessary in their kid's life. mom appreciated it the most

My parents will never let me live down phoning up my mum to ask what 'simmer' meant when I was 21 (I was trying to make pasta). I got better.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 14:18

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Thread locked because manbaby is a horrific slur

# ? Dec 4, 2021 15:36

Ravenfood: Nov 4, 2011

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Thread locked because manbaby is a horrific slur

It is pretty rude calling a cat smart enough to post on reddit a "manbaby" to be fair.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 15:43

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

feedmegin posted:

My parents will never let me live down phoning up my mum to ask what 'simmer' meant when I was 21 (I was trying to make pasta). I got better.

I wonder how much of this was beaten into us verbally as kids. Mom did all the cooking, and I don't blame her for not teaching us, not when she was battling my dad their entire marriage, trying to keep us afloat from all his cheating and money going to his side pieces. Seriously even getting McDonald's Dollar Menu poo poo was enough to set him off about wasting money, but I digress.

I remember being told once, after their divorce, to make chicken; my mom's instructions were to wash the breasts, put them in a pan, and set the stove to 6. What she didn't say was to loving add water to the pan. Thankfully I got to the kitchen before the smoke alarm went off.

You gotta teach your kids poo poo. And it's hard because often they don't want to learn, but you're the parent.

AITA for not giving my babies �normal� names?

quote:

I�m 24f and my fianc� is 27m. We�re currently expecting twin boys after trying for a year. We�ve never been more happy.

My family are non-religious and his are practicing catholics. He is not. I�m 7 months along and his family are asking what we�re thinking of naming them. We�ve already decided on their names. Phoenix Grey and Griffin Dean.

We�ve never been ones for the run of the mill names. My name is out of the ordinary and my fianc� goes by his middle name Cassius. The idea of calling our children, not that these names are wrong or bad, Daniel or Thomas or Samuel doesn�t sit right with us. It isn�t us.

My in laws are furious. One: because they�re not traditional names, two: do not bare any affiliation to family members; my fianc� is named after his grandfather, his sister is named after his aunt etc, and three: because they�re mythical creatures from other cultures. That is apparently what they dislike the most. But we really love the names. We already have a girls name picked out too, Valkyrie Lee to pay homage to my Danish grandparents that cared for me when I was a teen. We actually came up with this name before I even got pregnant. We like that all the names match in that they are powerful beings that can fly. We want to make our children feel powerful too.

My FIL says to use them as middle names and give them family names as first names but we are already in love with the full names we�ve given them. We�ve even started calling them by them and bought embroidered blankets and clothes.

As these are the first babies of both families, my MIL thinks I�m being selfish by not giving them traditional family names and that not doing so will set a bad precedent for the others.

Am I being too stubborn?

Edit: People are bullied for all kinds of reasons. Hair. Eyes. Glasses. Braces. Style. Foot size. Ears. Biting fingernails. Makeup. No makeup. Fat. Thin. Short. Tall. Rich. Poor. Being called Phoenix or Griffin may not be as common as Sophie or Max, but they�re not bully worthy. Also, I didn�t ask if you liked the names just about the concept. Don�t judge us by American standards because we�re not American.

Many people with all three of these names have messaged me privately and I�m sure I am not the rear end in a top hat now. Thank all of you nice and respectful people. No need to give your opinions now.

Many worse geeky/fantasy names.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 15:47

Alchenar: Apr 9, 2008

Don't wash chicken.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 15:48

DreadUnknown: Nov 4, 2020; Bird is the word.

Lady I think you're savagely underestimating how creative kids can be when inventing new terrible things to call each other.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 15:52

Barudak: May 7, 2007

DreadUnknown posted:

Lady I think you're savagely underestimating how creative kids can be when inventing new terrible things to call each other.

Hell if the names too hard they just make a new one up. Hrm don't have any go to insults for Jejune, time to just call you "pants pooper"

# ? Dec 4, 2021 15:55

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Phoenix and Griffin are kind of people's names, I guess, at least in the terrible American tradition of using last names as given names, but Valkyrie is an absolute turd of a name. If you wanna respect your Scandinavian ancestry, you give your kids viking names, which are both actual names and cool as hell.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 15:56

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

Griffin just made me think Family Guy jokes.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 16:05

ScienceSeagull: May 17, 2021; Figure 1 Smart birds.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for telling my Granny to stop using slang?

M-Y-O-B isn't even TikTok slang! My boomer mom used it when I was a kid.

CharlestheHammer posted:

But a cat can�t open the food either

What if he is the Cat?!?

Just give the cat some canned food and a can opener and tell the kitty to figure it out!

# ? Dec 4, 2021 16:09

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Alchenar posted:

Don't wash chicken.

Or boil it, wtf.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 16:19

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

my(f29) gf (27f) holds extremely prejudiced views and i don�t know what to do about it.

quote:

I�ve always known that my(f29) girlfriend(27f) had very strong opinions that often led extremely to the right or extremely to the left but these views she shared with me..were downright discriminatory. At one point she insinuated that ending a specific cohort of people would be better for the world. Her views on some groups of people were so disgusting and downright shocking, it literally sounded like she didn�t even see them as humans. I�m so in shock and was so upset that i started crying when i heard my girlfriend�s views.I love her so much, she�s a very kind person and she has been such a great addition to my life but i�m having trouble deciding whether i should overlook this racism or shut it down.I let her know that her views upset me and she just tried to defend them. Aside from this she�s been a perfect girlfriend and i see her as the love of my life but this is hard for me.Should i overlook the fact that she�s racist because she�s perfect in every other area or should i take more drastic measures?

TL;DR! I found out my girlfriend holds extremely prejudiced views, aside from that she�s perfect but i don�t know if i can overlook her racist views.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 16:28

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Are we talking European girlfriend hearing the word "Roma" in her partner's presence for the first time, or is the OP a dweeb making GBS threads her pants over her expressing perfectly respectable views on landlords/white supremacists/Belgians/billionaires? The word "racist" implies the former, but I've seen enough tweets about reverse racism to be on guard. Plus the part where she has other "extreme right" views that are apparently cool.

E: gently caress, missed an f

Zulily Zoetrope fucked around with this message at 16:37 on Dec 4, 2021

# ? Dec 4, 2021 16:33

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

You showed up late
To our very first date;
I said, "How are you?", you said, "White power".
Call me paranoid,
But I'm not overjoyed
When you ask me if I want to shower...

# ? Dec 4, 2021 16:35

exmachina: Mar 12, 2006; Look Closer

Alchenar posted:

Don't wash chicken.

Well not under the tap, for sure.

But when most people say they wash their chicken they mean in a bowl with lemon juice and salt, which is not really a problem. It is closer to a brine than to "clean" the chicken.

I don't wash chicken btw, but it is important for many cultures

# ? Dec 4, 2021 16:35

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Are we talking European girlfriend hearing the word "Roma" in her partner's presence for the first time, or is the dude a dweeb making GBS threads his pants over her expressing perfectly respectable views on landlords/white supremacists/Belgians/billionaires? The word "racist" implies the former, but I've seen enough tweets about reverse racism to be on guard. Plus the part where she has other "extreme right" views that are apparently cool.

they're both women, and it's a tossup between roma and jews imo

# ? Dec 4, 2021 16:36

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Whoops, yeah, fixed.

Jews would fit well with the "other extreme right-wing views that are cool" element, yeah. Or it could even be a comment about Israel which becomes a real spicy take when heard third-hand.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 16:40

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

I do ~~love~~ hate how smug center-left Europeans suddenly become aspiring Uberstrumfuhers when the word Roma comes up and tell us we don�t �get it� if we say it�s racist.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 16:43

StrangersInTheNight: Dec 31, 2007; ABSOLUTE FUCKING GUDGEON

E: nm

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:04

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

hes already thinking like a cat. this puzzle could be cracked yet

Maybe this was an attempt to hide a boner.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:05

CannonFodder: Jan 26, 2001; Passion’s Wrench

ScienceSeagull posted:

Just give the cat some canned food and a can opener and tell the kitty to figure it out!

Study the parts.

Explain the parts.

Everything that moves does so for a reason.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:06

a podcast for cats: Jun 22, 2005; Dogs reading from an artifact buried in the ruins of our civilization, "We were assholes- " and writing solemnly, "They were assholes."; Soiled Meat

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

If you wanna respect your Scandinavian ancestry, you give your kids viking names, which are both actual names and cool as hell.

Berthe and Ellpup, for example.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:11

Cream-of-Plenty: Apr 21, 2010; "The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering."

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Phoenix and Griffin are kind of people's names, I guess, at least in the terrible American tradition of using last names as given names, but Valkyrie is an absolute turd of a name. If you wanna respect your Scandinavian ancestry, you give your kids viking names, which are both actual names and cool as hell.

I am thinking of naming my child "God of War" or "GW" for short.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:12

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

Griffin isnt that uncommon of a name. I've met quite a few and it seems pretty popular in the south. Phoenix is not really a name ive come across but as far as weird names go it's not that outrageous.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:12

Butter Activities: May 4, 2018

Griffin is like well within the range of �normal�

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:13

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

a podcast for cats posted:

Berthe and Ellpup, for example.

Berthe is really more of a grandma name than a viking name, but hey, grandma names are also classic.

E:

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Griffin is like well within the range of �normal�

Assuming you live in a country where "Jackson" and "Jefferson" are also valid first names, yeah, but I don't personally respect that.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:19

axolotl farmer: May 17, 2007; Now I'm going to sing the Perry Mason theme

Viking names are great. Very straightforward. Sten = rock, Stig=path, Bo=house, Bj�rn = bear, Ulf=wolf Sven= man, and so on.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:27

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Breaking it the Kids

quote:

My wife (29F) is filing for from me (29M) after 10 years of marriage with four kids ranging from 3-12. This kind of took me by surprise as generally she�s been pretty mentally abusive since early on and I�ve been the one threatening to divorce if she doesn�t change or get counseling for various things that cause the abuse. I�m stuck. Part of me wants to try and talk it out. But part of me wants to keep our family unit together. The youngest ones won�t even remember this unit the way it is. And trauma comes with divorce. There may have been some from us arguing in the home,but I don�t feel it�s more than what comes with divorce. Also. I don�t know when to break it to them. We are filing next week, and keeping it from them through Christmas feels deceitful. If I was the oldest child I�d want to know that this was my last Christmas with my family in its current state. Not sure how to go about this.

TD;LR Wife is divorcing me after 10 years. Not sure if I should try and hold things together despite them being broken, or when to break the news to the kids.

I like how this idiots real question is if it's a good idea to ruin his children's Christmas by announcing their bitch mother is divorcing him in the most traumatic way he can as a way to hurt her.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:27

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Batterypowered7 posted:

Maybe this was an attempt to hide a boner.

I forgot about that, thank you for reminding me.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:29

OzyMandrill: Aug 12, 2013; Look upon my words
and despair

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Griffin is like well within the range of �normal�

Griffin is a traditional Welsh name, tho Griffith (spelt Gruffudd or variants) is more common.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:36

Nameless Pete: May 8, 2007; Get a load of those...

Phoenix is a bad name for your child on its own, but calling them Phoenix Grey is making it unmistakable that you named your firstborn after one of the X-Men.

Nameless Pete fucked around with this message at 17:40 on Dec 4, 2021

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:37

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# ? May 29, 2024 12:38

les enfants Terrific!: Dec 12, 2008

The Bramble posted:

Breaking it the Kids

I like how this idiots real question is if it's a good idea to ruin his children's Christmas by announcing their bitch mother is divorcing him in the most traumatic way he can as a way to hurt her.

Love the weird insistence that divorce is more traumatic than living in a family where the parents clearly hate each other and there's ongoing abuse between them.

If it's that bad of a situation, I can almost promise you the kids will be like "Oh, thank god" when they're old enough to understand.

# ? Dec 4, 2021 17:46

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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