(Thread IKs:
Josherino)
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Seatbelts posted:I've always worked in labor so conversations like this are disturbingly common; but I used to loved talking to them about it cause I found most of the time they just have a poo poo hot take that they had never considered from any other angles. When my coworkers get weird - I always get weirder. I usually answer that question with whatever my credit card statement is for the month.
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Dec 3, 2021 18:36
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Josherino posted:When my coworkers get weird - I always get weirder. lol For the record I think the problem is expectations; I just can't promise results. Imagine yourself the recipient of an unwilling blowjob... that just wouldn't work for me.
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Dec 3, 2021 19:08
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Thanks for that explanation of mitigation vs management. It's a different use than what I'm familiar with but I think I get it. And yea I'm not a fan of most of my coworkers. We're already union so it's not a matter of like organizing a new union, it's just poo poo heads without any solidarity. The one coworker that I am not afraid of is planning to quit soon for his mental health lol
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Dec 3, 2021 19:10
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thehandtruck posted:the jist of it is if you get your leg broken in a factory accident you go to the doctor and he tries to fix the leg. maybe that process takes a few years. there's some improvement, they try different things, but eventually the doctor realizes, okay, there's nothing left to try. now it's time to adjust your life with a lovely leg. you start thinking about how you have to adjust your house, your exercise routine, etc. you've now moved to not trying to fix the issue to just simply living with it and managing it for the rest of your life. There is the other side of it which is not switching between the two fast enough, in which you become the mental health equivalent of the guy who keeps tearing his ACL/shoulder over and over and over again. Seatbelts posted:I've always worked in labor so conversations like this are disturbingly common; but I used to loved talking to them about it cause I found most of the time they just have a poo poo hot take that they had never considered from any other angles. I stopped mine from doing this by just staring at them silently with that face of disgust and confusion Tucker Carlson does and they stopped asking me such things and oftentimes just stopped talking to me at all outside of stuff directly related to work, which was a double win. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 06:05 on Dec 4, 2021 |
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Dec 4, 2021 06:02
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Ronwayne posted:There is the other side of it which is not switching between the two fast enough, in which you become the mental health equivalent of the guy who keeps tearing his ACL/shoulder over and over and over again. There are good reasons for this. The quality of life one can expect at the end of this path is dreadful, if not non-existent. It's not just that one become a burden on society, although this is surely part of it, but that nobody with a shred of empathy wants to see someone go down that road if there is any hope.
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Dec 4, 2021 09:19
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Past a certain point, trying to force people back into the workplace is *cruelty*, not compassion, and I really wish you'd dial back on the "dreadful if non existent" stuff, life out of the workplace is stressful and hosed but I am nowhere near constant death by my own hand as I was when in it. I actually have hope now and days or even weeks without suicidal ideation as when compared to being in a job/losing a job/retraining for a job where I thought about the release of death literally every waking hour. Nor am I a burden, there are many many people who make the world worse everyday they exist despite being economically productive, in fact, BECAUSE they are productive with no thought to anything else. Although I am in a dire situation, I am literally healthier and living better in every way now that I've taken steps to live without working, and I don't know what to do to drive that home for this thread. Learning the skills to survive as a person on the margins sucks, but is more fulfilling and less hideous than any job I've subjected myself to. Eating dumpster pizza was grotesque but less awful than day-in day-out life at the job that had catered lunches. When I repeatedly slam my head against a wall and then hear "get plugged back into the matrix," sometimes it can feel that what a mentally ill person is telling others is falling on deaf ears. That said mentally ill person is some combination of confused, ignorant, or just wrong and need to be corrected as to the harsh reality of the world. Sometimes this can be true, but a lot of times it isn't. Which leads to my next concern re: quote:". "no, no im just depressed, i cant be helped, don't even try, i know my body, i know my life, ive been to every doctor, i traveled back in time and talked to plato and freud and Best Doctor and Best Neurologist and even they couldnt help me, my problems are too unique, im too unique, im too smart to fix, too depressed, it's mental, it's biological, don't you know?" That caveat at the end is what I'm trying to get across: yes, there are people who give up too quickly, but that doesn't mean that everyone who is giving up and learning to live with their condition has given up too quickly and not explored the possibilities. Nor does it mean that a life in desperate financial straights/potential homeless is always the worst option when attempts to find/hold a job have failed 100% of the time over a 20 year period. When chuds and liberals say "work or die", it gets really, really disheartening to also see fellow leftists saying "well, it sucks but they're right, work or die". instead of "let's figure out what the other options are, with an a priori that such options exist and are viable" I am damaged, above and beyond what I started off as, by continuing to futility go down this path. After my fourth or fifth case over the years after I lost a job and went back to them, The state work rehabilitation case worker told me, as I was trying to smile and saying I wanted to get back on the horse, but finally broke down in the middle of the meeting into crying and snot and open public weeping in front of other adults, to look into disability, and that continuing to try to work would only hurt my chances. When you take too long to switch to management, in these cases, you are actually causing harm. It can feel like the worst of liberal means testing! ("are you actually that broken?? according to these criteria you must meet...") It might be harm borne out of love but honestly, that's usually the worst sort of harm you can inflict on people. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 15:04 on Dec 4, 2021 |
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Dec 4, 2021 10:11
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Ronwayne posted:When I repeatedly slam my head against a wall and then hear "get plugged back into the matrix," sometimes it can feel that what a mentally ill person is telling others is falling on deaf ears. That said mentally ill person is some combination of confused, ignorant, or just wrong and need to be corrected as to the harsh reality of the world. Sometimes this can be true, but a lot of times it isn't. Nah, I hear you, and I don't think you're any of those things. it's just a very untenable situation for most who encounter it. If you can make a fulfilling life for yourself without ever working I would never begrudge you for doing so. I have a lot of mental scars from back when I was unemployed and depressed for years, so I do find it somewhat difficult to empathize with the conclusion you seem to have come to. Being employed and doing well at work is so integral to my own mental health, as well as my continued existence in the society I live in, and yet I don't have a rosy image of what it can be like either. As such, if it seems like I am challenging you, I don't really think that has anything to do with you being mentally ill. As of now, not all mental illnesses can be resolved, and maybe I am guilty of assuming that coming to terms with work would be a necessity for you. Maybe it's not. I hope your situation continues to improve.
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Dec 4, 2021 22:49
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Mine mostly stem from fear of being controlled and ordered to perform on someone else's expectations, working for myself might change that but that requires a degree of energy and "hustle" that, I, quite frankly, do not have. I don't just rot all day, when I have a place to plug in the computer I try to write, draw, work on some projects, but I could not handle things that involve constant pressure to meet standards in exchange for money. Especially when part of that is expected to be an emotional punching bag for some tier 1 or 2 bosses hosed up life. I think about doing commissions, which is one reason I keep practicing but I'm wondering how insane crazy person clients over the internet stack up to real life bosses that take swings at you or throw things at you or ask "what is wrong with you?"
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Dec 5, 2021 00:43
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I can't take it anymore. The world is collapsing and everyone around me in meatspace is doing the best to pretend that it isn't. It's utter torture to read news about COVID, the climate, etc and meanwhile my family talks about buying a house or "when I finally get a girlfriend" (I am 34 and never had one, it's not happening and even if it were, I'd be hestiant to get even more attachments only to see them die in the collapse). Even my therapist tells me just to shut off the news. The gently caress am I supposed to do?
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Dec 5, 2021 18:54
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i am finding meager pleasure in at least fighting against the dark sometimes. other times i'm lazy and dumb and do drugs but sometimes I'm helpful  https://twitter.com/GarrettLacan4/status/1448124104041762822
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Dec 5, 2021 19:06
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(i am not the guy the video lol, he's advanced)
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Dec 5, 2021 19:12
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I don't want to fight. I hate drugs. I hate alcohol. Everything that I like is tied to bougie AF civilization. I like video games. I like travelling with my family. I like sitting in a room, doing a very specific task and being praised for it. I hate cleaning. I hate the 5 billion maintenance tasks that life requires. I hate having to keep track of everything I have to do and everything I owe everyone. I hate vague tasks. Maslow's Pyramid is upside down for me. An existence only based around eating, sleeping and loving is hell for me. I don't want to fight for any person. I don't want to fight for any cause. I have no cause nor do I wish to have one. I want an eternal unchanging framework I can point to and say "I acted according to that. Any blame relies on that". I don't want to take responsibility for my own actions. If we are all responsible for what we do, we all deserve to go to Hell. The only God I would recognize is one who would get on Its knees and apologize to me for all the suffering They have put me through. And I would kick Them in the face and scream "NO". This is who I am. This is what the world has made me be. I am a horrible, lazy, despicable person. And I can't force myself to delude myself into the madness that is "intrinsic motivation", " confidence", etc. Values are meaningless if we create them ourselves. I want instructions and the means to carry them out. I guess I ultimately want to go back to school when I could simply read a text book, ace an exam without studying and be told I was a genius. And everyone around me seems to think I will still be rich and successful. I did not ask for this. AceOfFlames has issued a correction as of 19:29 on Dec 5, 2021 |
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Dec 5, 2021 19:20
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AceOfFlames posted:I don't want to fight. I hate drugs. I hate alcohol. Everything that I like is tied to bougie AF civilization. I like video games. I like travelling with my family. I like sitting in a room, doing a very specific task and being praised for it. I hate cleaning. I hate the 5 billion maintenance tasks that life requires. I hate having to keep track of everything I have to do and everything I owe everyone. I hate vague tasks. Maslow's Pyramid is upside down for me. An existence only based around eating, sleeping and loving is hell for me. I don't want to fight for any person. I don't want to fight for any cause. I have no cause nor do I wish to have one. I want an eternal unchanging framework I can point to and say "I acted according to that. Any blame relies on that". I don't want to take responsibility for my own actions. If we are all responsible for what we do, we all deserve to go to Hell. The only God I would recognize is one who would get on Its knees and apologize to me for all the suffering They have put me through. And I would kick Them in the face and scream "NO". Sounds like you should listen to your therapist, shut off the news and go back to school then; maybe pursue a job in academia and never leave your office. There's no point to any of this except, perhaps, doing something that makes it an enjoyable experience, and like you said, you don't want to fight.
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Dec 5, 2021 19:29
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thotsky posted:Sounds like you should listen to your therapist, shut off the news and go back to school then; maybe pursue a job in academia and never leave your office. There's no point to any of this except, perhaps, doing something that makes it an enjoyable experience, and like you said, you don't want to fight. I can't even get a job in academia because as it turns out I don't even like or am good at studying. It was literally just that grade school education is soo poorly designed I managed to get through it. I thought I might have ADHD but so far none of the psychiatrists I have seen have even considered it despite it being a textbook case (they tried Ritalin and it didn't work) I am just an utter waste.
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Dec 5, 2021 19:32
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platzapS posted:i am finding meager pleasure in at least fighting against the dark sometimes. lol. this is how we create lasting friendships as adults
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Dec 5, 2021 19:48
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Making it a point that the next time I see some sign about NoBoDy WaNtInG tO wOrK, going to ask the manager on duty what their starting pay is, then read them the loving riot act about being a cheap-assed petty loving tyrant. These assholes don't fear their employees, but they will fear an angry customer raising a stink Gene Hackman Fan has issued a correction as of 01:44 on Dec 6, 2021 |
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Dec 5, 2021 21:49
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A project I was working on for months has been stillborn for months, and I just realized it. And I'm doing a zombie degree - COVID has shown me that no one will listen to a pessimistic epidemiologist. What is even the point any more?
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Dec 6, 2021 01:28
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StratGoatCom posted:A project I was working on for months has been stillborn for months, and I just realized it. for what it’s worth I work quite closely with an epidemiologist on something that isn’t covid and our years of effort came to very clear fruition at a government policy level this past week because of things he had said and done that made people listen
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Dec 6, 2021 01:32
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I'll just be reduced to trying to raise alarms on twitter or whatever while pseudoanon assholes spread copium. There's no way out of this zombie degree, as it's my only ticket out of home and transition. What's the point of all the work I've put in? I've sacrificed so much, put aside my real passion, cladistics, in an attempt to try and save lives and it will be for nothing. I am beyond broken at this point.
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Dec 6, 2021 02:00
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StratGoatCom posted:I'll just be reduced to trying to raise alarms on twitter or whatever while pseudoanon assholes spread copium. I don’t know hard it is to switch if you’re in viral but there are tons of queer orgs looking for cultural epidemiologist stuff to do research on HIV, PREP, etc
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Dec 6, 2021 02:04
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Arivia posted:I don’t know hard it is to switch if you’re in viral but there are tons of queer orgs looking for cultural epidemiologist stuff to do research on HIV, PREP, etc It's early, but it's either souless buiz garbage, jerking myself off with cladistics or being a loving Cassandra.
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Dec 6, 2021 03:53
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Cassandra-ism can be quite fun, if you're hosed up on that particularly goony mindset of "I told you so   "
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Dec 6, 2021 05:33
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I just loving did course selection for the next term, and its like ashes in my mouth.
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Dec 6, 2021 16:21
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platzapS posted:i am finding meager pleasure in at least fighting against the dark sometimes. https://twitter.com/sportsstatsball/status/1448327655200280583
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Dec 6, 2021 19:45
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AceOfFlames posted:I don't want to fight. I hate drugs. I hate alcohol. Everything that I like is tied to bougie AF civilization. I like video games. I like travelling with my family. I like sitting in a room, doing a very specific task and being praised for it. I hate cleaning. I hate the 5 billion maintenance tasks that life requires. I hate having to keep track of everything I have to do and everything I owe everyone. I hate vague tasks. Maslow's Pyramid is upside down for me. An existence only based around eating, sleeping and loving is hell for me. I don't want to fight for any person. I don't want to fight for any cause. I have no cause nor do I wish to have one. I want an eternal unchanging framework I can point to and say "I acted according to that. Any blame relies on that". I don't want to take responsibility for my own actions. If we are all responsible for what we do, we all deserve to go to Hell. The only God I would recognize is one who would get on Its knees and apologize to me for all the suffering They have put me through. And I would kick Them in the face and scream "NO". I've been mentioning this, but I often have trouble getting my brain in gear. All I can do is focus on one thing until time passes and I realize I need to do something else. I have better days where I'm more aware, but I can't bank of those happening to get stuff done. I put a bunch of my daily routine into google calendar, and anything out of the ordinary goes in the calendar. If I need to do something by a specific time, I set an alarm an hour ahead of time so I know when to prepare, then an alarm close to the event itself so I know when to leave/start the project. It's nice for getting stuff done, but it's especially helpful for me to manage my anxiety. When I'm stressed about what I think I should be doing, or what I might have forgotten, I just glance at the calendar. I know exactly what needs to be done and by when. I can push everything else out of my head until then. On good days (probably when I'm a bit hypomanic) I notice all of that bullshit around me that needs to be maintained and done. I don't know how much anxiety might be an issue for you, but that's how I cope. I honestly think people attribute too much to motivation. For me, motivation never even enters the equation if I don't notice that there's stuff to be done. Anxiety/depression give me tunnel vision. When those symptoms lessen, I have a better idea of what I want to do or think I need to do. That's when I set my reminders in my calendar and alarm clock. I write down all kinds of inane stuff in my calendar so I know I can keep track of it without having to specifically focus on it. I don't know if any of that is helpful, and I don't know you well. From what I've seen though, I wouldn't consider you horrible, lazy or despicable. It sounds like you want some structure and direction? I create some structure with my calendar and alarm clock. AceOfFlames posted:I can't even get a job in academia because as it turns out I don't even like or am good at studying. It was literally just that grade school education is soo poorly designed I managed to get through it. I thought I might have ADHD but so far none of the psychiatrists I have seen have even considered it despite it being a textbook case (they tried Ritalin and it didn't work) I am just an utter waste. Some universities/colleges have the option to "survey" a class. You sign up, learn what you can, but don't have to worry about a grade. I'm not a fan of the grading system. It seems designed to put people in different strata, and weed out anyone who doesn't perform like everyone else. Even in a class where's there's no ambiguity for answers and solutions like math, professors can have incredible leeway to assign grades/set a curve. I've seen plenty of examples of students performing better than others and receiving lower grades, or performing better than others and receiving lower grades. Maybe some institutions are more consistent than the ones I attended, but it seems like many professors get a reputation for giving out better/worse grades. That's not even factoring in whether or not the professor actually communicates the information clearly. I get that we need to ensure people know what they're doing at the end of their training. I wish we had a system that focused more on helping people in the areas where they struggle, rather than categorizing people as good or bad students. Rarely, I would have a professor who allowed me to redo a project that I struggled with. That allowed me to learn from mistakes, and address the areas where I had trouble. In a challenging and fast-paced class, a bad grade just feels like a scarlet letter. I end up trying to preserve my GPA, which adds incentive to drop a challenging class before the withdrawal deadline. When giving up feels like the best strategy, there is something very wrong. Arivia posted:for what it’s worth I work quite closely with an epidemiologist on something that isn’t covid and our years of effort came to very clear fruition at a government policy level this past week because of things he had said and done that made people listen I don't want to pry, but I think that sounds incredibly interesting. Congrats on actually getting something done! Gene Hackman Fan posted:Making it a point that the next time I see some sign about NoBoDy WaNtInG tO wOrK, going to ask the manager on duty what their starting pay is, then read them the loving riot act about being a cheap-assed petty loving tyrant. You have my full and unironic support in this endeavor. Uganda Loves Me has issued a correction as of 22:22 on Dec 6, 2021 |
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Dec 6, 2021 22:20
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today in bad ideas, I’m contemplating taking out loans so I can go back to school for a different degree, because my only options with my current career are to do mind numbing entry level bullshit forever or move into middle management, which I wouldn’t want to do even if I wasn’t politically opposed to management existing in the first place Is there such a thing as career advice that isn’t just, like, rise and grind financial snake oil
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Dec 6, 2021 23:21
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The longer time goes on, the more bullshit that develops, the more I am convinced there is no unity to be had with liberals. An associate of mine I knew from back east is with the DSA (and a county election official w/ the Dems) posted something about Mississippi and the abortion poo poo. Somebody posted as a reply the usual Karenesque bullshit about how if the residents of Mississippi were intelligent, they would vote for democrats. I replied that maybe if we had an actual opposition party instead of Republicans who at least excuse themselves before calling the police on a black person maybe that person wouldn't be such a huge piece of poo poo. In the eyes of my associate, that was more obscene than, say, the loving concentration camps that are still operating. She then asked what organizing I did ("clawed my way out of abject loving poverty for one. Can't organize when you depend on other people to get a loving ride everywhere."). Organizing might be more of an attack point if it wasn't for the fact that she was organizing for an organization that has repeatedly demonstrated it holds her and her opinions in complete contempt. Did I go overboard on this? Hell, probably. But I am also just so fuckin sick and tired of having to entertain any idea that I have to work with these absolute motherfuckers just because they say their on my side. Fuckin prove it, then come back to me.
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Dec 7, 2021 03:28
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I mean another good answer is that Mississippi has a much lower percentage of people living in urban centers (causing all kinds of hilarious problems re: districting and gerrymandering, along with people in rural and suburban areas being way more likely to be republican) and a long, long history of voter suppression based primarily on race But liberals don't have an answer for those problems other than "vote!" which does not work very well when you are not allowed to have a meaningful vote, if you are lucky enough to get one at all I don't think you went overboard but I'm also a pretty aggressive person re: politics which is why I never discuss it in person anymore
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Dec 7, 2021 04:00
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DoubleDonut posted:I mean another good answer is that Mississippi has a much lower percentage of people living in urban centers (causing all kinds of hilarious problems re: districting and gerrymandering, along with people in rural and suburban areas being way more likely to be republican) and a long, long history of voter suppression based primarily on race Yeah, that was another part of it -- nobody goes on loving Facebook of all places to get their minds changed. They go on Facebook to have their beliefs reinforced that it is actually good and proper to think shits better because we got more women guards running the loving crematoriums. But, no, everything is political. Somebody runs their mouth on some bullshit that I know is bullshit, I'm not going to just let that slide. Letting that poo poo slide is how ppl keep supporting a party that thinks the best accomplishment possible is two loving cents off the price of gas. gently caress me running these people deserve curbstomping. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Dec 7, 2021 04:56
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gently caress it, don't be afraid to discuss politics. I have never seen, heard, nor smelt anything so dangerous it couldn't be talked about. Discuss politics. Discuss religion. Get into arguments and shout down the other fucker for being wrong and dumb and banally evil. It may be a bad idea in polite society but ask yourself: when the gently caress was the last time this was a polite society? The CHUDs are willing to talk about what they believe in, why aren't we?
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Dec 7, 2021 05:16
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Gene Hackman Fan posted:The longer time goes on, the more bullshit that develops, the more I am convinced there is no unity to be had with liberals. Probably tangential to this thread, but I unironically think that modern leftist theory needs to incorporate the petit boug, of both chud and right-lib variants*, as a major enemy alongside the bourgeoisie and security apparatus, not just a side villain like they are in the manifesto. Whether girl-hitler bosses or more traditional reactionaries, they by and large would be fine with killing, brutalizing, and enslaving the poor before their little slice of privilege and property is threatened. (and in the case of liberals, being the Moral Ones is part of that privilege, you say liberalism is full of poo poo and they're one of history's greatest supporters of pure evil while putting on a smiling face and well, yeah... ) and as the years go on, and that property and privilege is either destroyed by climate change or hoovered up by the rich, well, it will get faster and get worse. The suburbs and the lifestyles of those that live there will have to be militantly broken up, not just banks and corporations. Not only are the suburbs an economic and enviromental blight, they're a political blight as well where toxic individualism and reactionaryism are bred to keep a populace divided and isolated. Trying to find the original poster but the quoted post I got is: quote:Middle class values are fascist values, and vice versa. * as opposed to a hypothetical left lib that simply does not have the education to know that liberalism is not going to save them. The coming years will see a huge winnowing between salvageable former liberals and extra polite nazis. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 06:02 on Dec 7, 2021 |
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Dec 7, 2021 05:56
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Literally everything is political. Every god drat advancement we ever made as a society was the product of a hard-fought uphill battle against the establishment (ie. liberals and conservatives). After the battle is won (for now), liberals are right there to claim credit. They legitimately can't tell the difference between themselves and leftists. They think we both stand for the same things, but that liberals are somehow more realistic. Hillary accused Bernie supporters of demanding a pony. If not wanting to die penniless on the street and not wanting to be murdered by cops means wanting a pony, then I want my loving pony yesterday. It'd certainly be more economical than the mass murder we've been committing since America was first called America. I can't find the source on google, but I remember reading a quote about the Holocaust. It was something along the lines of how "good" people didn't discuss "politics" in nazi Germany. I have a theory that people only think something is political if they disagree with it. I took a class on sociology of science years ago, and learned just how entrenched eugenics was in America. Tens of thousands of people were forcibly sterilized right in my own backyard of California, and Hitler cited my home state as an inspiration for genocide. I don't know if it's true or not, but I've read accounts of forced sterilization taking place in America's concentration camps today. There's certainly more than enough evil poo poo going on in American "immigration" policy already. I read a whole lot of D&D back when Trump was first elected, and I felt obligated to do something to resist fascism. I joined the ACLU, DSA, and my local chapter of Indivisible. I realized just how few people actually opposed Trump's policies. Indivisible was full of liberals chiding leftists for being melodramatic about concentration camps or acknowledging that this poo poo pre-dated Trump. It seems like the vast majority of "resistance" against Trump had more to do with the way he talked than any actual policies. I just can't express in words how upsetting it was to see liberals rehabilitate George W. Bush's image to make Trump look worse. My sister's birth family are from Iraq, and they're Yazidi. ISIS did their best to exterminate her people, and WE made that possible. Close relatives shared memes about how we could all learn from Ellen's friendship with Bush. I bit my tongue, but I don't think I'll be doing that in the future. I can honestly barely tell the difference between a liberal and a fascist these days. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sbD1XDhKr8U
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Dec 7, 2021 06:13
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No No No. Please post in a different way that is appropriate for this thread.
Somebody has issued a correction as of 09:16 on Dec 7, 2021 |
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Dec 7, 2021 06:48
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Gene Hackman Fan posted:mod edit: Don't quote this. See, stuff like THIS is why I say I am a horrible person. I WOULD be this coward. I DO want a quiet life. Yet everything says that makes me a bad person. I am supposed to sacrifice the little peace of mind I have for people who in my experience would not piss on me if I was on fire and would at best look at me side-eyed. I do not want to join any tribe. I want everyone to like me. I want to live a life in which everyone, even a hypothetical God would think I was following some sort of virtue. Cowardice is manipulation. I don't want to be a fighter. I want to be a victim. If the raiders come, they can have everything I have as long as they kill me quickly. I don't want to die screaming. Am I THAT much of a bad person for that? I did not ask nor was raised for ANY of this and for that I deserved to be lumped up with literal monsters because of radicalization? And you are discussing THIS is a freaking mental health thread? I do want to be a good person, I do. It's just that it requires more and more and I get back less and less. I can't even get people I personally called to wish a happy birthday to do the same for me. Why the hell am I supposed to fight a revolution for them? I can't even clean my house, how am I supposed to become a survivalist? AceOfFlames has issued a correction as of 09:26 on Dec 7, 2021 |
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Dec 7, 2021 09:18
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AceOfFlames posted:
This is where mindfulness and expectation management plays a huge roll in how we quantify what we receive when we give. As difficult as it may be, it's crucial that we reshape how we define "good person" and the rewards that may or may not come with it. It took me a long time to finally understand that being a good person (in my opinion), means that I should not expect something in return. Being a good person means being a steward for change, and not every interaction you face may result in a relationship where your input and care is reciprocated. It's not about what we can GET people to do, it's about who we can stop in their tracks when we move the way we do.
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Dec 8, 2021 00:49
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I see your point, I really do. I used to believe that. My childhood dream was to change the world and help people. But the pandemic in particular just seems to have really opened my eyes as to how utterly selfish most people really are. Their brains will literally shut down their empathy the minute their lives are the least bit inconvenienced. Most people will run away from you if you have any sort of problems. You give them gifts and they don’t return your kindness. The only way people consider you a “friend” is essentially if you know only cool places to take them to and only if you knew them literally from childhood. and once they get a family, everyone else ceases to matter (my own mom once told me with no irony “my children are the only people in the world who matter to me. Everyone else can die in a hole for all I care”. I used to think it was just her but now I am convinced this is most people) I don’t expect an EXACT one to one quid pro quo but when I give and give and other people don’t return the favor, I feel like I am being taken advantage of.
AceOfFlames has issued a correction as of 01:09 on Dec 8, 2021 |
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Dec 8, 2021 01:05
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AceOfFlames posted:I see your point, I really do. I used to believe that. My childhood dream was to change the world and help people. But the pandemic in particular just seems to have really opened my eyes as to how utterly selfish most people really are. Their brains will literally shut down their empathy the minute their lives are the least bit inconvenienced. Most people will run away from you if you have any sort of problems. You give them gifts and they don’t return your kindness. I don’t expect an EXACT one to one quid pro quo but when I give and give and other people don’t return the favor, I feel like I am being taken advantage of. I believe you, and I know I'd feel the same exact way if I were in your shoes. From what you've shared in the past and looking at what you're extending now, your heart is in the right place here. I've noticed that the pandemic as a whole has messed with how I perceive time, considering every day seems to mesh into the other one with little to no differences-so it can definitely feel like what's going on now is now the permanent norm. I know I fall into these thinking traps where I catastrophize a lot of what's going on when I don't see or feel the results of the emotional equity I've built pre-pandemic. I usually just have to pinch myself in a way and remind myself that this era is just another phase in a number of other phases that have yet to happen in my life. I think we're all meant to have these emotional droughts, you know?
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Dec 8, 2021 01:12
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Stop trying to be good! I can't think of any posters itt that aren't at least some bit of empathetic or kind. By any measure other than the ones you're judging yourself by you're probably pretty decent so go into survival mode if you get the feel-bads and follow America's new motto: "Just try to make it out alive, fuckhead"
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Dec 8, 2021 06:44
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AceOfFlames posted:I see your point, I really do. I used to believe that. My childhood dream was to change the world and help people. But the pandemic in particular just seems to have really opened my eyes as to how utterly selfish most people really are. Their brains will literally shut down their empathy the minute their lives are the least bit inconvenienced. Most people will run away from you if you have any sort of problems. You give them gifts and they don’t return your kindness. The only way people consider you a “friend” is essentially if you know only cool places to take them to and only if you knew them literally from childhood. and once they get a family, everyone else ceases to matter (my own mom once told me with no irony “my children are the only people in the world who matter to me. Everyone else can die in a hole for all I care”. I used to think it was just her but now I am convinced this is most people) I don’t expect an EXACT one to one quid pro quo but when I give and give and other people don’t return the favor, I feel like I am being taken advantage of. 
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Dec 8, 2021 06:59
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| # ? May 25, 2024 17:18 |
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I got a good night sleep for the first time in a very long time. I had forgotten what it was like to wake up refreshed and ready to start the day. I have a meeting with some NAMI board members this morning, and I was really regretting that I agreed to schedule it early in the morning. Now I'm looking forward to it. I've been getting exercise recently, and I think that's playing a role.
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Dec 8, 2021 16:55
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