- Adbot
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ADBOT LOVES YOU
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May 10, 2024 07:12
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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The greeter checking for membership cards as you enter Costco but he's treating it like an actual bouncing gig. Bluetooth headset. Black shirt, pants, and shoes. Clipboard with a single sheet that has the image of a valid card printed out.
On his break he wanders over to the sample station "I saw that guy come back for seconds do you want him out of here?"
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Dec 4, 2021 00:28
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- Karate Bastard
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No.... no, not doing it for me. I'm thinking more like double pipe wrench, grease and oil and an air of single malt, sly grin and a cigar in each corner of the mouth
They call me Schwarzenegger, can fit a double-decker
touch me on the back and make it Ro... Ro...
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Dec 4, 2021 11:32
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- Karate Bastard
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Because he is laying pipe, you see.
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Dec 4, 2021 11:38
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Mobster Jesus.
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Dec 4, 2021 15:10
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- google THIS
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Its a Galilean message. It means "5,000 men ate the fishes."
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Dec 4, 2021 20:27
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- google THIS
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One time I made a great post about farts, but instead of feeling good afterwards I felt kind of down. I had postfartum depression
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Dec 5, 2021 21:53
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- frump truck
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hello... again!
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the jerk store called, they're all out of you (because they never had you in stock to begin with (because you are cool and nice and my friend))
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Dec 5, 2021 22:41
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- deep dish peat moss
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a soda jerk bullying young Dr. Pepper
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Dec 6, 2021 05:03
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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The first person to invent the triangle gets a frosty reception.
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Dec 6, 2021 15:51
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- Gene Hackman Fan
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by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
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A saddle that says "If you can read this the rider fell off"
"My other horse is your mom"
"Keep hollering, varmint --I'm reloading!"
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Dec 6, 2021 15:53
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- free Trapt CD
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*~ ~*
I've got plenty of java
and Chesterfield Kings
*~ ~*
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A clueless detective kind of like Columbo except he really doesn't know what he's doing and the reader of the stories is left wanting to throw a brick at something when he never puts two and two together.
Oh, just one more thing, Mr Gacy: you said the last time you saw the victim, they were on their way to the bathroom. But, see, here's the thing: I've been looking all over, and as far as I can tell there's no bathroom in this house!
...What's that? Down the hall, turn left, first door on the right after the three paintings of clowns? You don't say! Well then I'd better let you get on your way, especially since I've been waiting for hours to 'report in' to 'headquarters'. 
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Dec 6, 2021 18:00
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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a soda jerk bullying young Dr. Pepper
He gets his revenge in the look on Mr. Pibb's face on learning it'll be Dr. Pepper performing his ice removal and going to play golf with Rockstar afterwards.
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Dec 6, 2021 19:02
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Cutting out gloryholes in places you might not expect gloryholes. Like at the bookstore during an author meet. Or an Anarctic research station.
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Dec 6, 2021 20:18
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- alnilam
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Cutting out gloryholes in places you might not expect gloryholes. Like at the bookstore during an author meet. Or an Anarctic research station.
When you think about it, The Thing started because they were cutting a glory hole deep into the antarctic ice
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Dec 6, 2021 20:21
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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They dug too greedily and too deep. In their quest for D they awakened something long forgotten.
The Ballrog.
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Dec 6, 2021 20:41
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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The Amish encourage young ARmish to go out into the "English" world to see what it's like before making a commitment.
Take this to it's logical conclusion in the form of a Christian sect that actively encourages its members to "try out" Satanism for a bit to see the difference and make up their own mind.
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Dec 8, 2021 00:25
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- Jestery
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Not a Dickman, just a shape
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A Christmas themed Italian/French fusion restaurant
"Gnocchi or Níce"
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Dec 8, 2021 02:30
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- canyoneer
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I only have canyoneyes for you
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a 10,000 word essay in which I insist the film "We Need To Talk About Kevin" is actually part of the broader Home Alone Cinematic Universe
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Dec 8, 2021 02:47
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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My Little Polar Bear
A young girl in a small northern town "adopts" an actual polar bear. While she goes on magical adventures in her mind using the power of imagination the bear straight up eats people and nobody does anything to stop it since they don't want to hurt the little girl's feelings plus it's basically a tank that can easily outrun them so they go about their business resigned to the fact they might become bear chow.
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Dec 8, 2021 04:08
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- Bright Bart
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False. There is only one electron and it has never stopped
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Seinfeld as a manga comic.
'Her eyes didn't go he when she saw my *you know* Jerry. No huge eyes. How can I be with this woman who has normal sized eyes?'
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Dec 8, 2021 04:13
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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Gandalf: Sauron has orcs, Saruman has his own orcs that opperate under his own command. gently caress it, I'm getting my own orcs. Where in the rules does it say I can't?
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Dec 8, 2021 15:39
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- deep dish peat moss
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Using CheatEngine to apply a speedhack to your browser so you can binge watch shows faster
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Dec 8, 2021 17:54
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- Viginti Septem
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Oculus Noctuae
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Resetting my dark mode option to "on" in my Jesus app. How did this get turned off? All the pages are hosed up.
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Dec 8, 2021 19:45
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- Finger Prince
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You should've gone to school, you could've learned a trade
But you played with the cats at the cat cafe
Now all the time you're crying that your skin is flayed
It's like that, and that's the way it is.
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Dec 8, 2021 19:52
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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The Amish encourage young ARmish to go out into the "English" world to see what it's like before making a commitment.
Take this to it's logical conclusion in the form of a Christian sect that actively encourages its members to "try out" Satanism for a bit to see the difference and make up their own mind.
No. A reality TV show where a Christian church and a Satanic church switch religions for a year.
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Dec 9, 2021 14:40
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- Jestery
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Not a Dickman, just a shape
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A twitch plays Pokemon style audience interaction where the audience members can dose the participants of the sport with DMT
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Dec 9, 2021 14:50
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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I don't know if this is a joke but I just had a sort of visual idea of a feudal era Japanese general on the field of battle getting an arrow through the throat and then just being so baddass he carries on.
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Dec 9, 2021 17:13
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- Prof. Crocodile
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I don't know if this is a joke but I just had a sort of visual idea of a feudal era Japanese general on the field of battle getting an arrow through the throat and then just being so baddass he carries on.
I guess it depends on who plays the general. I am imaging the 3 stooges in a b&w Kurosawa film and it seems p funny to me.
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Dec 9, 2021 17:43
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- Karate Bastard
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The Fast and The Furious, but everyone is 19 and has just bought their first car.
The Fast and the Furious 19 where they cut out the boring parts and it's an opening cut with a frowny buff guy stomping the accelerator to the floor and then it's just the engine gradually revving to chipmunk rpms over the course of 90min and roll credits.
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Dec 9, 2021 18:46
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- google THIS
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The Fast, where The Furious gets kidnapped or something so The Fast finally gets a solo film
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Dec 9, 2021 22:58
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- Prof. Crocodile
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The Fast, where The Furious gets kidnapped or something so The Fast finally gets a solo film
The Hobbs and The Shaw: Fast vs. Furious
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Dec 9, 2021 23:15
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- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
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#
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May 10, 2024 07:12
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- Prurient Squid
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Tiddy cat Buddha improving your day.
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The Doctor regenerates into a Chinese person and admits in a plot twist that their true name all along was Doctor Hoo.
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Dec 10, 2021 17:13
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Dec 3, 2021 22:41
