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Kenshin
Jan 10, 2007

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for offending the bride and groom?

hooo boy is Maya gonna be mad when she finds out that that is very much not normal here and her friends lied to her

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Junius
May 14, 2006

Thank you, entertainment committee.

Fatkraken posted:

relatively recent post, but does anyone have a link to the story about the screaming gamer girlfriend which featured a line to the effect of "I thought she stayed up all night gaming because she was afraid of the sun" or something? I've been having a bad few months (years) headspace wise and that's one of the few things that has really made me laugh in these dark times, I want to save it forever and treasure it like the gem it is.

I’m a bit further back in the thread so not sure if someone has already responded but I think this is the one?

Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


Mortified by the queef

quote:

The other day I queefed during sex for the first time with a new guy that I’m seeing. I’m completely mortified to the point where I just keep having crying spells and freaking out. How do I even have sex with him again without guarantee-ing that it doesn’t happen again? It’s literally eating away at me. How the gently caress do I get over it? Should I talk to him about it?

Backstory; we’re both in our late 20s and well experienced in the bedroom. When I queefed (I’m cringing right now at the memory of that pseudo farting sound) I was so confused and so startled that my dumbass was like “what was that?” & he was like “you queefed babe” and just went on his marry way, continuing to be intimate. IN THE 10+ years since I lost my virginity, this has NEVER happened :’c Within a min I had to stop because I was “tired” but really I was just trying to prevent it from happening again. I switched the bed convo in a different cuddly direction to distract him. I was trembling inside. He’s a really relaxed and chill guy but I feel like that’s why he’d be even more confused as to why it bothers me and why I didn’t bring it up sooner. At the time he SEEMED unphased, I’m freaking out that maybe he really wasn’t. I’m overthinking everything and it’s keeping me up at night, nauseous at the memory & especially the sound. Someone please tell me what to do and how to stop feeling embarrassed, lovely & crazy!

Kenshin
Jan 10, 2007

Mx. posted:

Mortified by the queef

this person needs anti-anxiety meds and maybe some light therapy

but mostly anti-anxiety meds

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Ten years of no queefs? Was she loving ninjas?

big dyke energy
Jul 29, 2006

Football? Yaaaay
You queefed, babe.

rain dogs
Apr 19, 2020

Smirking_Serpent posted:

AITA for telling my girlfriend to cover up her body when strangers enter the home?

Congrats to him for dating someone so rich she doesn't have to see the help as people. Suck it up and enjoy the perks or run the hell away

teen witch
Oct 9, 2012
it came from r/legaladvice

Bf bought me 6k in crypto but won’t give it to me...

quote:

My bf rather than buy me a ring to propose bought me 6k in crypto. He put this in text message and screenshot the confirmation number as it happened and said he thought investing would be smarter because I’d be able to take the money and buy whatever I wanted with it. He then joked in person that it’s up to $46,000. When I asked if I can choose when to take it, he smiled and said no, it’s his. He said he’d consider giving me the original investment but after he takes the earnings when he chooses. As of now, he’s cheated and I’m heavily pregnant. I quit my job to be a full time mother but have since been told to stay away because I don’t condone his cheating. Do I have a right to the money? I’m scared to ask him because I don’t want him to think I was ever after the money. It was his idea. But now I need the money because I’m single, jobless, and in debt. Is the screenshot admissible in court? Can I even go to court over this since all I have is his word and texts shown he purchased it as an alternative to a ring way early on? Thank you, I’m sorry for the drama.

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde

teen witch posted:

it came from r/legaladvice

Bf bought me 6k in crypto but won’t give it to me...

This is just sad.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

JFC that woman needs to get pulled out of there and into a shelter for serious rehabilitation and care. It sounds bad.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

Hughlander posted:

AITA for “overreacting” and telling my bf he can’t be in our guest


Normal failboi story only reason I posted it was for this gold of a comment:
"Op, You are not a foster home for another woman’s future husband"

Worth revisiting for the buried lede that the boyfriend is 36, just moved out for the first time, fucks around on rent payments and then gets insecure that everyone is holding him to a basic adult standard.

I ain't shaming for moving out when you're 36. Housing prices and wages suck and that's just how it be sometimes. But mentally/emotionally how do you get to be at middle age before wrapping your head around the concept of "don't gently caress with rent payments?"

Flared Basic Bitch
Feb 22, 2005

Invading your personal space since 1968.

Mx. posted:

Mortified by the queef

Ah, to be young again.

Arzachel
May 12, 2012

Flared Basic Bitch posted:

Ah, to be young again.

quote:

we’re both in our late 20s and well experienced in the bedroom.

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?

Blue Moonlight posted:

We’ve pointed out how awful the OP of the headliner is, and the reply letter, but let’s not sleep on this:

quote:

Dear Amy: I’m sharing my family’s holiday strategy in case someone else thinks it’s workable for their family.

We have had our own disagreements and hurt feelings over the years.

I remind everyone that the holidays are not about the hurt, but about celebrating together as a family and creating memories of togetherness.

I tell them to keep their hurt and anger at home in “storage,” so that during family events they can focus on fun and celebrating togetherness.

At Thanksgiving dinner, we each share what/who we’re thankful for.

At Christmas, we have the same requirement – to leave our “issues” at home.

I believe that we can choose to be above the squabbling for the holiday season and behave kindly toward one another.
– Cathy S., in California

You just know this woman is telling someone to suck it up while half the drat family talks about a Trump/JFKJr. ticket and how Kyle Rittenhouse had the right idea.

Both sides of my family had this idea for every Christmas Eve and Day. Which is why I hate Christmas, because they were all putting on the biggest smiles and handing out gifts and candy canes to hide decades of abuse, addiction, mental illness, legal trouble, child molestation, and whatever the gently caress was wrong with Aunt Cheryl's left hand.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof
So what was wrong with her left hand?

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000


Ultra Carp

teen witch posted:

it came from r/legaladvice

Bf bought me 6k in crypto but won’t give it to me...

That could be a question on a Contract Law exam! What an interesting one

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

Vim Fuego posted:

That could be a question on a Contract Law exam! What an interesting one

It’s pretty clear that he intended to give her the coins by oral contract and there is evidence to that effect. It’s actually too straightforward to be interesting: they are hers.

ChickenDoodle
Oct 22, 2020

Mortified by the queef
Revved up like a douche
We’re gonna fart into the night

Chef Boyardeez Nuts
Sep 9, 2011

The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

Vim Fuego posted:

That could be a question on a Contract Law exam! What an interesting one

Gains aren't realized until sale, so if he's HODLing she could absolutely take a swing in small claims court.

Alchenar
Apr 9, 2008

A gift has to actually be effected to be enforceable, what we have here is a promise of a gift which is governed by the classical legal principle of 'gently caress off and stop wasting my time'.

OhAreThey
Oct 12, 2012

I like your nurse's uniform, guy.

Mx. posted:

Mortified by the queef

Just wait til you straight-up fart during sex.

Variable 5
Apr 17, 2007
We do these things not because they are easy, but because we thought they would be easy.
Grimey Drawer

OhAreThey posted:

Just wait til you straight-up fart during sex.

women don't fart, duh

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Mx. posted:

Mortified by the queef

How did this woman ever manage to venture outside of her home in the first place? Legit baffled by the level of crippling anxiety here.

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


AITA for ruining thanksgiving?

quote:

I (30f) met my bf (30m) 3 years ago. Before me he was together with his HS sweetheart. They fell out of love and broke up. A year later we started dating. His mom however was still heartbroken about it. I was very understanding and thought she needed time to get to know me. The ex basically grew up with them and they saw her as a part of the family.

For the first year of my relationship his mom would call me ex’s name, until bf got angry once and told her to be nice. She laughed it off and said it was just a habit. After that she started calling me the wrong name. (Janet instead of Jenny; fictional names just for the story). I corrected her a couple of times but she seemed to like hurting me so I ignored it later.

My bf has two sisters and a couple of weeks before thanksgiving we were invited to bbq at the older sister’s house. I was in the kitchen with my bf’s mom, the sisters and one of their husbands. The older sister then talked about how my BF praised my cooking to her husband and the mom was listening. She then said iut loud “SURE! Why don’t we let Janet make the turkey this year?”. The sisters giggled and looked at each other and I said “thats a great idea!” I didn’t tell my bf what happened.

On thanksgiving we went to his mom’s house with the usual wine and dessert. She was shocked l, everybody was shocked. I said “what? I thought Janet is bringing the turkey!”. There was yelling, crying and then we got kicked out. My bf is so angry with me he hasn’t talked to me since. I think it’s over tbh. But I still don’t think I did anything wrong! Did I?

keep punching joe
Jan 22, 2006

Die Satan!

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for ruining thanksgiving?

Lol

bobjr
Oct 16, 2012

Roose is loose.
🐓🐓🐓✊🪧

Janet is the rear end in a top hat for not bringing the Turkey duh

The Glumslinger
Sep 24, 2008

Coach Nagy, you want me to throw to WHAT side of the field?


Hair Elf

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for ruining thanksgiving?

This lady owns

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Oh mom got jokes? I got jokes

Blastedhellscape
Jan 1, 2008
I worked with someone once who intentionally misremembered my name over and over as some sort of dumb bullying power-move, so I appreciate that. gently caress those people.

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe
what kind of weak rear end Thanksgiving doesn't have multiple meals' worth of sides, anyhow

if you show up to Thanksgiving without a turkey the only thing you have ruined is weekend leftovers

sexy tiger boobs
Aug 23, 2002

Up shit creek with a turd for a paddle.

Dazerbeams posted:

How did this woman ever manage to venture outside of her home in the first place? Legit baffled by the level of crippling anxiety here.

If you can't leave the house without queefing you might want to consult a doctor...

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
Consult your doctor if you experience a queef lasting more than 4 hours.

AITA for telling my boyfriend that he should’ve covered up his tattoos if he wanted ANY respect from my family?

quote:

My bf and I have been together for almost 2 years. We’re polar opposites but managed to work through our differences in the past. For some context: he’s almost 90% tattooed (up to his neck) and comes from a difficult background to put it mildly. Today he’s employed and doing well for himself but his upbringing was quite rough. I wouldn’t describe myself as “posh” at all but I come from a family where image, looks and your accomplishments matter. However I’d say I’m a little more casual than them.

A few months ago I finally got the courage to introduce him to my family. This was a HUGE deal to me and I told him that first impressions would make or break everything. I told him that he will cover his tattoos - no ifs, ands or buts - because my parents are super old fashioned. I bought him an outfit for the night to ensure he’d look presentable and classy.


We had a practice run and I told him what he should or shouldn’t say, how to talk, how to address any of my dad’s concerns etc. At no point did he ever show any enthusiasm so that was a bad sign.

Fast forward to the dinner. It was an absolute DISASTER. Yes my parents and sister were a little critical but they’re like that with any guy I date. My bf was so pissed that he purposely unbuttoned the top of his shirt so you could see his tatted neck. Of course that offended my parents and a huge argument ensued. Not only were they telling him that he’s not good enough for me, they were telling me how disappointed they are. It was a nightmare.

To make it worse my bf told them that I like his tattoos (which I do but he was just adding fuel to the fire) and that it didn’t matter what they think. They told him to leave.

It goes without saying that my parents have 0 respect for him now. It was already difficult to convince them that he’s much sweeter than he may appear. My mom has been hysterical and asking why I’m having “intimate relations” with someone who looks like they belong in prison(he’s not a criminal!). I have been guilt tripped and made to feel like complete poo poo all because he chose to wreak havoc.

A couple of days ago we were arguing and I told him that he should’ve hid his tattoos if he wanted any respect from people like my family. He was hurt and said that it’s hosed up that I want him to change to gain respect from them. He even claimed that I’m obviously embarrassed to be associated with him and not even worthy of respect in his eyes. None of that is true, just saying.

After that argument we haven’t talked much.

So am I the rear end in a top hat for telling my bf that he should’ve covered his tattoos if he wanted to establish a level of respect my parents could work from? It’s not that they bother me (I think he’s crazy attractive, tattoos or not) but he knew that my parents would freak out.
I guess she was planning to hide his tattoos until her parents die.

LanceHunter
Nov 12, 2016

Beautiful People Club


Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for telling my boyfriend that he should’ve covered up his tattoos if he wanted ANY respect from my family?

I guess she was planning to hide his tattoos until her parents die.

It seems like deep down op kinda agrees with her parents about the whole tattoo and image thing. I guess better that the boyfriend find out about it now instead of waiting a few years when those sublimated feelings found some other way to express themselves.

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for telling my boyfriend that he should’ve covered up his tattoos if he wanted ANY respect from my family?

He even claimed that I’m obviously embarrassed to be associated with him and not even worthy of respect in his eyes

Ding ding ding ding We have a winner here folks!

He should dump her or resign himself to painful full body tatoo removal.

Pope Corky the IX
Dec 18, 2006

What are you looking at?
I like that she continues to act as though was just the tattoos even though she had to do a loving practice run with him that included things like what he should and shouldn't say out loud.

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for ruining thanksgiving?

Just laughing at the mordant joke, OP got a good slam in.

Grimdude
Sep 25, 2006

It was a shame how he carried on

LanceHunter posted:

It seems like deep down op kinda agrees with her parents about the whole tattoo and image thing.

Absolutely. She's hoping he'll change but using her family as as excuse.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
More Tattoo Troubles!

AITA for telling my sister that her wedding will never be that important to me?

quote:

My sister is getting married and I'm a bridesmaid.

The dresses she picked for the bridesmaids were a shade of light orange and pink tones. I'm not a fan of pink at all but it's a dress, I can handle it. As usual in every wedding, if you're a bridesmaid you're expected to pay for the dress. The dress cost $150. That already for me is a huge sacrifice, paying $150 for a dress I'll never wear again.

I have some visible hand and arm tattoos, I have a back tattoo (which will be visible because the dress is backless) and my hair is brown with some pink highlights. My sister demands that I dye my hair brown and get rid of the pink highlights. She also demands I cover my tattoos with body makeup because she wouldn't like having me with pink hair and tattoos in the wedding pictures and that bridesmaids are supposed to look classy and if I have pink hair and tattoos visible people will focus more on my "crazy style" than the bride and the groom.

I told her I'm not doing any of that. The conversation went like this

Sister/Bride : What do you mean you're not? You bought a dress you hated and you have an objection on temporarily hiding your tattoos and dyeing your hair? It's not like you can't dye your highlights back after the wedding is over, try to understand where I'm coming from.

Me : You knew I had dyed hair and tattoos when you asked me to be a bridesmaid, this is how I love myself and its insulting how you expect me to change myself like this so you can have your picture perfect wedding. I bought the dress because its a dress. You expect me to be someone else for the day. This is how I am and I've been like this for years why are you suddenly surprised?

Sister/Bride : I didn't think my own sister would throw a tantrum over fuckin tattoos and fuckin hair, it's my wedding so yes I want it to be perfect and you either go with it or you're out of the bridal party.

Me : I'm out then. Your wedding is not that important to me to lead me to a point of changing myself. You either accept me like this or you don't. Don't expect me to change because you're scared of not having a classy wedding because of me. Blessings!!

Since then my parents and my brother have called me and cursed me out for not honoring my sister's wishes. AITA???

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Pope Corky the IX posted:

I like that she continues to act as though was just the tattoos even though she had to do a loving practice run with him that included things like what he should and shouldn't say out loud.
That was the line that stuck out to me the most. I wonder why he wasn't enthusiastic about this dinner?!

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B-Rock452
Jan 6, 2005
:justflu:

Blastedhellscape posted:

I worked with someone once who intentionally misremembered my name over and over as some sort of dumb bullying power-move, so I appreciate that. gently caress those people.

I have found that being completely oblivious is the way to handle morons that do those sort of "power" moved. I was in a meeting once where the guy had put all the seats down super low except his so I raised mine up to be even with his and he kept raising it up so I would and he got so flustered he ended the meeting. He wasn't even a supervisor

He would also try the trump power handshake so people one guy just held onto his hand for a super uncomfortably long time after he tried the handshake and it was really funny how angry he got

B-Rock452 fucked around with this message at 17:28 on Dec 7, 2021

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