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Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for kicking my aunt's husband out of my house and family holiday gathering when he was homophobic?

Heck of a way to find out your parents are also homophobes, even if they aren't throwing slurs around.

A strong contender for the Pete/Petra backbone award. The trophy is a titanium spine.

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Total Meatlove
Jan 28, 2007

:japan:
Rangers died, shoujo Hitler cried ;_;

Soylent Pudding posted:

A strong contender for the Pete/Petra backbone award. The trophy is a titanium spine.

Is the spine used to thrash the deserving because it better be

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


Total Meatlove posted:

Is the spine used to thrash the deserving because it better be

Anyone receiving the award will know how to use it

AITA for paying my children’s nanny so I could spend more time with them without their dad knowing which caused her to get fired?

quote:

My children live with their dad full-time and how much I see them depends on how generous my ex is feeling. Earlier in the year he was angry at me so it meant I was seeing them less than once a month. I got desperate so I offered their nanny money if she would let me spend time with them after school. I expected her to tell my ex straight away but she accepted and things were wonderful until my ex found out.

He fired her as soon as he found out and then asked me if I wanted to care for our children until he found a replacement. I agreed and he’s spent every day since making me feel guilty for being the reason she got fired right before Christmas. He said I was taking advantage of her when I offered her money and that it was my fault he had to fire her and that I was the reason our children were sad she wasn’t around anymore. He claims I also put our children at risk by not telling him she was so quick to accept bribes and essentially told me he was right to keep me away from the children since I was so devious.

AITA?

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
I was with the husband until the second paragraph; Jesus Christ.

Zulily Zoetrope
Jun 1, 2011

Muldoon
On the one hand, zero custody, but on the other, he's fine with letting her handle childcare after booting the nanny. I actually can't tell what's going on there.

E: Okay yes the dad clearly sucks

Piell
Sep 3, 2006

Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer


Young Orc
AITA for not allowing my kids to close the room door

quote:

We have a rule in our family whereby the kids (15F and 13M) are not allowed to close the room doors. The kids spend most of the time in the common study room, whether reading, studying, gaming etc. and their computer screens all face the door. My kids have told me they would like to room door to be closed and feel that their privacy is being violated and they cannot concentrate. However, my wife and I feel that this is a house rule and there should be no secrets between family members.We do not wish for them to spiral down a deep hole of secrets which might be too late when they realise they need help. Furthermore, when they grow up and work in an office, whatever they do on the computer screen will also be visible to their coworkers. My wife and I think this rule is quite fair, but the kids insist otherwise. So AITA?

AITA - For giving my husband only 3 days to return my jewelry set that he he gave his brother's wife as a wedding gift?

quote:

I f36 have always been into jewelry. I used to own of variety of jewelry sets but due to unfortunate circumstances most of them had to go so I could afford rent after I lost my job. My husband never got lucky to land a job since 2013. Thankfully now I have a stable job that gets us by from month to month.

I also kept one set of jewelry which is the most valuable wether momentarily and/or sentimentally since it's part of family herilom. The set includes a pair of earings - a bracelet and - a necklace. All gold material and again they are worth decent amount of money. My BIL has been with then gilfriend for 10 years and they recently got married. It was a huge deal for the family. My husband wanted to get them a decent wedding gift and tried borrowing money from friends and neighbors but got turned down. He kept stressing out about it for weeks and just the other day (the wedding was days prior and the groom and bride are off to their honeymoon) I discovered that my jewelry set was gone. I freaked after my husband nonchantly said he gifted it to his brother's wife as a wedding gift.

I was fuming I asked how could he and he replied that he had no money and nothing of value to give the newly weds and besides that that set has been sitting in the closet since July, 2019 and I never wore any piece of it so he figured I'd forgotten about it but he said he'll figure a way to pay me or get me a similar one once he starts working but I very loudly told him andolutely not and gave him 3 days, just 3 days to return the set or I'll stop paying for everything in the apartment. He looked puzzled like he couldn't believe I was serious. He said he doesn't want to cause an issue but I said it's already there and if he doesn't want issues all he has to do is contact his brother or his wife and retrieve the set or go get it himself. He tried to twist the argument and offer the same solutions as mentioned above but I refused I said I just want my set back and he has 3 days only. He kept talking about how tasteless and disrespectful it'd be for him to retreive a wedding gift and said this will damage his relationship with his brother and family and also how impossible it was to retreive the set in 3 days when the couple are on their honeymoon in another country.

AITA for this? He said I was financially abusing him by threatening to stop paying for anything knowing I'm the breadwinner. Also he refused to give me their new contact info to retreive the set myself.

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

On the one hand, zero custody, but on the other, he's fine with letting her handle childcare after booting the nanny. I actually can't tell what's going on there.

E: Okay yes the dad clearly sucks

Seems to fit the pattern of someone who has the financial leverage to keep custody of their kids away from their ex and is only interested in using it to punish and control them. I'm guessing that bribing the nanny is considerably cheaper than trying to go up against a well-funded legal team.

ilmucche
Mar 16, 2016

What did you say the strategy was?

Piell posted:

AITA - For giving my husband only 3 days to return my jewelry set that he he gave his brother's wife as a wedding gift?

Stop paying even if the jewelry comes back. If it doesn't come back press charges. Also, divorce

Johnny Truant
Jul 22, 2008




"My husband never got lucky to land a job since 2013"

:thunk:

BOOTY-ADE
Aug 30, 2006

BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Total Meatlove posted:

Is the spine used to thrash the deserving because it better be

I wanna see someone go full Predator on a motherfucker & rip their spine out to beat them with it :black101:

house of the dad
Jul 4, 2005

Where do I score one of these marriages where I can leech for 8 years and complain about the snacks my wife buys me while giving away her things

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
AITA for bringing a date to a wedding?

quote:

Cast: OP (me) Sarah (date for wedding) Tom (friend from college) Karen (Tom's bride, unfortunately)

Tom and I roomed together for two years in college. We became really good friends but sort of lost touch after we graduated because sometimes, life goes too fast to catch up with everyone.

Several years ago, Tom got engaged to Karen. I congratulated him on Facebook and he messaged me. We found out we actually live in the same city, so I met up with Tom and Karen. I told them I came out as bisexual and told them about my (at the time) boyfriend. Tom told me about his cool new job, etc. Karen seemed a little odd, especially while I talked about my boyfriend, but I shrugged it off, assuming it was because she didn't really know me. Plus Tom and I were chatting almost exclusively to each other since we hadn't seen each other in years.

Three months go by and Tom texts me to ask for my address so he can send me a wedding invitation. I get the invitation and RSVP, saying I will go and I'm bringing a +1. Karen later calls me and asks me if I'll be bringing my boyfriend. I say yes. She says her family is extremely conservative so I can't bring him because it might cause drama.

I ask my single neighbor Sarah, who is quite pleasant, if she'd like to come with me. I asked her because I knew she'd been stressed with work and I wanted to do something to help her get her mind off everything. She accepts, knowing full well I have a boyfriend and knowing we're just going as friends.

I get to the wedding and start catching up with everyone. I introduce Sarah to everyone. poo poo hit the fan when a few people who knew I had a boyfriend saw me and asked why I didn't bring him. I'm awful at thinking on my feet so I told them them the truth. They seem upset, but I pay them no mind.

Later, Tom and Karen confronted me, asking why I told people the truth about why I didn't bring my boyfriend. I apologized profusely and explained that I tried to think of an excuse but couldn't. Tom said I made Karen's family look like a bunch of jerks, for lack of a better word. Karen said I should not have brought a date. I haven't spoken to either of them since. AITA?
How dare you be honest about my family's homophobia!

Uncle Enzo
Apr 28, 2008

I always wanted to be a Wizard

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for kicking my aunt's husband out of my house and family holiday gathering when he was homophobic?

They said it was really against hosting etiquette to have someone fly across the country to visit and then put them out.

And no mention of how wildly, utterly against any code of human hospitality it is to mortally insult your host in their own home?

Even very conservative belief systems tend to have pretty ironclad rules about hospitality. Calling the host a slur in their own home? That poo poo wouldn't fly under loving Sharia law. How can a person even think they'd be welcome after speaking to their host like that. Incredible.

BlancoNino
Apr 26, 2010
Uncle and probably most of the family don't think it's a slur, so there's that.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Christ freezing mid-footwash, just like "the gently caress you just said, bro? Hit the loving bricks."

therattle
Jul 24, 2007
Soiled Meat

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for bringing a date to a wedding?

How dare you be honest about my family's homophobia!

It’s funny how so many people look like assholes because they actually are assholes.

Zulily Zoetrope
Jun 1, 2011

Muldoon

the holy poopacy posted:

Seems to fit the pattern of someone who has the financial leverage to keep custody of their kids away from their ex and is only interested in using it to punish and control them. I'm guessing that bribing the nanny is considerably cheaper than trying to go up against a well-funded legal team.

Yeah ok that tracks with the rest of his actions. Screw that guy

ArbitraryC
Jan 28, 2009
Pick a number, any number
Pillbug

Attitude Indicator posted:

I don’t see how the arrangement her bf proposes is any different than her just renting an apartment from any random landlord. No claim to any ownership and downpaying for his property?

Yeah as mentioned in the post you quoted everything else about it is bad, just that one detail I was replying to the other goon on was actually pretty normal (paying less down than you could hypothetically).

Midnight Voyager
Jul 2, 2008

Lipstick Apathy

Piell posted:

AITA for not allowing my kids to close the room door

Furthermore, when they grow up and work in an office, whatever they do on the computer screen will also be visible to their coworkers.

hey gently caress you, that's easily the most annoying part of working in a lovely open plan office, also "my kids will all work in an office!" is a weird thing to just assume.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!
I can feel ACE School radiating off of that post.

AITA for asking my brother to go home after he flew in to see me?

quote:

My brother (24m) doesn't live in the same city as me, so he doesn't know all my friends.

My friend (22f) said she was being followed by a man all throughout the and she saw a guy pretended she knew him by hugging him and asked how everything was. That guy was my brother, he pushed her away, and speed walked off. The man would follow my friend until she walked in a crowded Applebee's and texted her dad to come pick her up.

My friend was pretty sure that guy was my brother because of pictures she'd seen and knowing he was in town, I asked my brother did a girl hug him and he said yes.

I told him he should be ashamed that he didn't help a girl that was clearly scared and I called him a piece of sh*t. We argued and we both said some pretty bad things to each other, and I asked him to go home, and he's leaving tomorrow. My parents think I'm in the wrong, that he didn't do anything wrong and obviously my brother thinks I'm wrong. AITA?
This seems like a contrived scenario that has to end with someone getting stuck in a washing machine.

Arsenic Lupin
Apr 12, 2012

This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.


The room door one has the most magnificent reply of all time.

quote:

YTA

I am the mother of 3 children, ages 19F, 17M, and 13F. Here is why you are the rear end in a top hat:

1. Masturbation. I'm just throwing out the obvious here. Come on, guys. Be freaking real here. Give the youth their freaking bodily autonomy. If you want to go get your lonely freak on after a hard day, you have only to shut YOUR DOOR.
2. Sometimes, we need a good cry without prying eyes. Why? Cause we're human. We have private emotions and private thoughts. You wanting, nay, DEMANDING, to know these is a violation of not their privacy but their minds.
3. They are no longer children but young adults. Why would they want to be seen changing by their parents or siblings?
4. If you are so concerned about their computer histories, put something on their laptops.
5. Make a "no locking the doors" rule, not a "no closing the doors" rule.
6. Do you close your door? How about at night when you get sexy with the wife? Do you close it then? YES, because WE ALL NEED MOMENTS OF PRIVACY.
7. Siblings are loud. Households can be loud. Ever try to study physics when dad's shouting at the football game? How about learning linear equations when mom and sis are fighting over the curfew? Use your head.
8. This isn't about them. It's about you and your need for control. Learn to start letting go and trusting your children or the next few years are going to be really hard. Besides, didn't YOU raise them? If so, why can't you trust them yet?

AITA for wanting to file a restraining order against my future stepdaughter and preventing her from attending mine and her dad's wedding?

quote:

I (female-American 37) met my fiancè (Male 46 Canadian-Lebanese) 3 years ago. He has a 23yo daughter "Najwa" She was heavily against her parents separating which I had nothing to do with cause I met him 2 years after the separation. Najwa and I seemed to be doing pretty good getting along first but then she started doing things like damaging my car and legal documentations (she damaged my pasport to prevent me from traveling with her dad and threw away my dogs food) her excuse was always that her mom told her to do those things and was pressured by her. I did my best to let things go and she stopped and we sort of started getting along again until her dad and I announced our marriage date. She literally angerily screamed at us at dinner table but the next minute said "congratulation" with huge smile on her face. Her own 34yo, Lebanese-Canadian boyfriend called her "nuts".

She came over to her dad's house while I was out and found my wedding dress (I've never been married before this is my first experience ever and I was overjoyed with the dress) and ruined it with paint, literall wall paint she brought with her. She wasn't there when I got home but the door cam revealed everything. I had a very negative reaction I confronted her and she still denied. I made a police report but got talked into letting it go since her boyfriend paid for the dress.

Everything was expected to go back to normal but I was done with her (she didn't even apologize) and am now discussing filing for a restraining order against her cause this was the last straw. Her dad found out about the pitential RO and disagreed completely and said I went over the top by even considering it but she's an adult and she ruined hundreds worth of dollars and she should face the consequences. Where does it stop?. He insisted I let it go cause he wants her at our wedding and an RO will prevent her from being there. He said I already got paid for the dress and he'll get her to apologize if I wanted but I still refused. He told me to at least wait until after the wedding then do whatever cause he really wants Najwa there and called me cruel to dismiss how important that is for him. It got too much for me and I told him I could've made things worse and had her charged but I just want her to stay away and asked him to respect my decision. he said I was unreasonable to think he'd support me in this and begged that I reconsider cause this will ruin his relationship with her forever.

I feel like morally I could be wrong since she's my stepdaughter and we are family I think this might ruin the relationship between us (her, her dad, and my inlaws). Who are begging me not to do this.

Eta my fiance has always been supportive of me and helped me so much while struggling and he's unlike the family. He's kind and understanding.

Yes, definitely, hold on to this prize who wants you to keep accepting his daughter's actual abuse.

Beachcomber
May 21, 2007

Another day in paradise.


Slippery Tilde

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for wanting to file a restraining order against my future stepdaughter and preventing her from attending mine and her dad's wedding?

I look forward to finding out how she ruins the wedding.

Tarkus
Aug 27, 2000

Halloween Jack posted:

I can feel ACE School radiating off of that post.

AITA for asking my brother to go home after he flew in to see me?

This seems like a contrived scenario that has to end with someone getting stuck in a washing machine.

Assuming it's true OP is TA. Sounds like he didn't know who was hugging him or why and reacted accordingly. He can't be blamed for this.

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Arsenic Lupin posted:

The room door one has the most magnificent reply of all time.

Source: was a child, have raised/known children, have empathy

JackSplater posted:

It's cute that the parents think the kids aren't already keeping most of their lives a secret from their extremely controlling parents.

Mother and father have yet to locate T̵̲̖̅̌͒Ḧ̵͎̝̤́̀́Ẽ̸͚̩̯ ̷̜̬͈̀C̷̢̢̬̽͘R̸̳̙̓Ǎ̵̧̦͚͓̐͝W̸̡͖͕̥̄͂̈͊L̴̠̭̞̪̍͝S̷͖̗̀̽ͅP̸͕̟͒̆͘A̶̢͎̞̓ͅC̸̱̹̫̈́̈́͐̽Ẹ̶͕̆̏̉̽

Brawnfire fucked around with this message at 18:21 on Dec 21, 2021

JackSplater
Nov 20, 2014

Metal Coat? It's already active?!

Piell posted:

AITA for not allowing my kids to close the room door

We do not wish for them to spiral down a deep hole of secrets

It's cute that the parents think the kids aren't already keeping most of their lives a secret from their extremely controlling parents.

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


Was going back through some of the all time classics and am resharing a good grandma.

AITA for making a scene of my adult son and sticking my nose in his marriage

quote:

I’m 60 and bad with the whole text thing on mobiles so I’m hoping I won’t be judged on my grammar

Here’s the important background my daughter in law (32) and son(33) have 3 children aged 3 years 2 years and 4 months . He convinced her to be a stay at home mom and sell her business by telling her how good of a childhood he had and how happy my marriage was without telling her (which I today found out) that our arrangement was everything everything before 9am and After 5pm was split 50/50, Sunday was my day off and I was brought out twice a week.

On to the story- on my last visit I noticed my daughter in law was struggling mentally so I,my sister(55f) and her girlfriend (53) pulled our money together and paid for a spa weekend for them while we’d babysit the kids for her birthday last weekend.

I was preparing on Thursday evening for the kids to arrive when my dil rang me holding back tears saying they’d won’t be going because my sons friend came to town and he said he wanted to spend the weekend with his friends catching up. I pressed her a little and I’m talking a little about her situation , she came clean about him doing no chores,no date nights and her basically doing all of the child care because “that’s what stay at home moms do” I was honestly disgusted. I convinced her to drop me off the kids and bring a friend to the spa I even dipped into my savings to give her €500 to buy herself something nice. When she dropped me off the kids I begged her to tell me were son was after 5 minutes she told me the bar. She left for the spa while I left for the bar (she knew I was going there and knew my sister/my sister in law were taking care of the kids)

Here’s were I might be the rear end in a top hat I when to the bar were he and his friends were, I sat down next to the Group and asked my son “did i fail you as a mother or was it your father because we both thought your partner comes before your silly drunk friends” the post is getting long enough but long story short I humiliated him and got myself banned from a bar

My dil said she will taking the kids to her parents when she gets back tomorrow and my son is calling me an rear end in a top hat for humiliating him/ sticking my nose in his marriage Maybe I should have stayed out i don’t know

Edit I just wanted to say I’m heartbroken not by any judgement towards me or my parenting skills but the fact a lot of people are shocked I’m care about my daughter in laws mental health and stood up for her against my sons bad behaviour I just want to say as a mother my advice is Treat your daughter/son/non-binary in laws how you’d want YOUR children to treated. Respect goes along way

B-Rock452
Jan 6, 2005
:justflu:

Halloween Jack posted:

I can feel ACE School radiating off of that post.

AITA for asking my brother to go home after he flew in to see me?

This seems like a contrived scenario that has to end with someone getting stuck in a washing machine.

If someone comes up to me and quietly says they are being followed and ask me to pretend they know me I have no problem doing it. If I am out and someone randomly comes up and hugs me and starts talking about how they know me I am pushing them off and walking quickly away.

But this could also be solved by everyone apologizing to each other

Soylent Pudding posted:

Was going back through some of the all time classics and am resharing a good grandma.

AITA for making a scene of my adult son and sticking my nose in his marriage

This woman is a loving hero

B-Rock452 fucked around with this message at 18:31 on Dec 21, 2021

kimbo305
Jun 9, 2007

actually, yeah, I am a little mad

Halloween Jack posted:

I can feel ACE School radiating off of that post.

AITA for asking my brother to go home after he flew in to see me?

This seems like a contrived scenario that has to end with someone getting stuck in a washing machine.

Need the thread mugging expert to tell me if getting hugged by a stranger is a prelude to pickpocketing / purse snatching.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Cthulu Carl
Apr 16, 2006

Piell posted:

AITA for not allowing my kids to close the room door

The kids should stop asking and just consume massive amounts of food that gives them the shits, then leave the bathroom door open while taking the loudest, greasiest shits humanly possible. If anyone closes the door, they open it right back up - even if it means getting up mid-chocolate fountain - and scream through the farts and the pain "WE FOLLOW THE RULES IN THIS HOUSE."

les enfants Terrific!
Dec 12, 2008

Piell posted:

AITA for not allowing my kids to close the room door

All keeping the doors open and their computers facing out does is makes those kids really, really good at sneakily switching tabs.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

kimbo305 posted:

Need the thread mugging expert to tell me if getting hugged by a stranger is a prelude to pickpocketing / purse snatching.
Well, I can't guarantee that you won't be assassinated by the North Korean government.

Zulily Zoetrope
Jun 1, 2011

Muldoon
You don't actually just pretend to know a stranger, the whole point of going for the hug is to get a couple seconds to say "please play along, there's a creep following me" low enough for the guy to not hear you. Otherwise you're just gonna come off as a creepy stranger and spook them, then you've got a whole cascade failure event of people trying to get away from people trying to get away from people and that's just giving the creeps all the power.

Soylent Pudding
Jun 22, 2007

We've got people!


Another classic

AITA for not paying to change my father's gravely insulting gravestone?

quote:

My father and mother had a very bitter marriage towards the end of his life, he had a long running affair with another married co-worker and got her pregnant before he passed. He was planning to leave mom, skip the country and move to Canada to start a new life with her. They had a house picked out and all.

He had moved out and was living with his co-worker when he suddenly died of a heart attack while having sex. Divorce papers were never filed, no legal separation. They were in the process of moving all things legal. But on paper, they were still happily married.

Now me and my siblings are already out of home, our youngest sibling is 19 and is in college. I work for a tech company and I'm currently back in my hometown helping my mom manage his estate.

Well, my mom was hurt and petty and marked his gravestone as "In loving memory of John Doe, son, husband, father and adulterer."

My dad's family and his pregnant partner are mad and want me to fix it.

I personally think its fine, that's who he was. He was all of those things. And since it's my mom's plot, I can't do anything.

AITA?

limp_cheese
Sep 10, 2007


Nothing to see here. Move along.

Piell posted:

AITA - For giving my husband only 3 days to return my jewelry set that he he gave his brother's wife as a wedding gift?
said this will damage his relationship with his brother

No concern of how this will effect the rationship with his wife though, how curious....

So many people get upset being called a thief after they steal something loving lol.

El Spamo
Aug 21, 2003

Fuss and misery
They have the mentality of a Kender, "I'm just borrowing it" or some bs

coronatae
Oct 14, 2012

Soylent Pudding posted:

Another classic

AITA for not paying to change my father's gravely insulting gravestone?

Owns, same energy as the obituary about the lady who was an absolute piece of poo poo and abused her kids badly

Mr. Fall Down Terror
Jan 24, 2018

by Fluffdaddy

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

You don't actually just pretend to know a stranger, the whole point of going for the hug is to get a couple seconds to say "please play along, there's a creep following me" low enough for the guy to not hear you. Otherwise you're just gonna come off as a creepy stranger and spook them, then you've got a whole cascade failure event of people trying to get away from people trying to get away from people and that's just giving the creeps all the power.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aozqkVkUQ74

its_my_birthday
Sep 18, 2020
i read that at first that the brother was being a creep and following the woman, but that wasn't the case at all. why are they mad at the brother for not being a mind reader

Doctor Butts
May 21, 2002

Johnny Truant posted:

"My husband never got lucky to land a job since 2013"

:thunk:

He's holding out for a management position, obviously!

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exmachina
Mar 12, 2006

Look Closer

its_my_birthday posted:

i read that at first that the brother was being a creep and following the woman, but that wasn't the case at all. why are they mad at the brother for not being a mind reader

It stinks of a purity test

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