r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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gvibes: Jan 18, 2010; Leading us to the promised land (i.e., one tournament win in five years)

olylifter posted:

AITA for giving my sister 13k to pay for her I.V.F cycle without consulting my husband?

Man, where can you find a 13k IVF cycle? I think mine cost >40k/cycle.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 21:00

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# ? May 30, 2024 07:29

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

gvibes posted:

Man, where can you find a 13k IVF cycle? I think mine cost >40k/cycle.

Kid's Stuff Superstore ?

# ? Dec 31, 2021 21:05

Rescue Toaster: Mar 13, 2003

The entire IVF thing could just be a grift especially if the husband is a deadbeat and in on it too.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 21:13

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Rescue Toaster posted:

The entire IVF thing could just be a grift especially if the husband is a deadbeat and in on it too.

Wow, imagine if the I.V.F. could only be done in Puerto Vallarta, or Key West.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 21:16

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

Rescue Toaster posted:

The entire IVF thing could just be a grift especially if the husband is a deadbeat and in on it too.

Yeah, I was gonna say, I doubt that money is being used for IVF.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 21:18

Nae: Sep 3, 2020; what.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

Yeah, I was gonna say, I doubt that money is being used for IVF.

Even if the sister did ask for the 13k with the intention of using it on IVF (she didn't), it won't be used that way.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 21:23

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

Are you nerds telling me you don�t carry around a bottle of ever clear at work functions?

I go Fremen on this: the best place to keep alcohol is inside yourself.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 21:23

Biplane: Jul 18, 2005

Bruceski posted:

I go Fremen on this: the best place to keep alcohol is inside yourself.

I can barely fit one bottle in me, that will last me no time at all in the deep desert

# ? Dec 31, 2021 21:31

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

i think its something eastern european/russian just from the fact that its associated with new years eve and the only places where that's the big winter holiday over christmas is there and medieval scotland.

Sounds like the eastern European peasant recipes my mom shared with me from her side of the family. "Take what you've got, put it in a pot, hope it works." And then Great-Aunt Mavis happens to have some sweet corn and it turns out tasty and that becomes the Secret Family Recipe that everyone swears needs to be done exactly the same way and never revealed.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 21:31

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Biplane posted:

I can barely fit one bottle in me, that will last me no time at all in the deep desert

Heh, you thought stillsuits were about conserving water

# ? Dec 31, 2021 21:54

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

One thing I've never understood is snooping in someone else's stuff. I house sit for a few different families, and I remember after the first time I did, a coworker asked me what kind of cool things I had found in the house. I assumed he meant like the new pool table, but no, he was under the assumption I was digging through the closets and checking the medicine cabinets just to see what the people had.

Why.

In fact, the only time I ever remember looking in someone's house, was in the kitchen when I was staying over, and my friend specifically told me to dig around and eat whatever I wanted. And hindsight I think he was pranking me, because his wife is Japanese, and the only thing I found in the kitchen and pantries that had any English writing on it was a packet of McDonald's ketchup.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 22:00

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for yelling at my boyfriend that I'm not his friends' personal cook?

quote:

I F31 have been with my boyfriend M32 for 2 years. We met via a dating site and I moved to his hometown months ago. One new thing I learned about him is that he is extremely sociable. He has a group of 15+ guy friends that he calls 'brothers'. Believe it or not they're all single despite being in their 30s. Not saying it's weird but still...They're military though.

None of his friends can cook and once they've tried my cooking they started expressing what a great cook I am. My boyfriend then started having them over for dinners. I find myself cooking not only extra portions of food but also several different meals to accommodate each taste. Also, I was asked several times to cook for each one of his friends and send the food directly to their house/apartment. I spoke to my boyfriend about how exhausting and unfair for me to be spending majority of my time cooking and for too many people every day of the week and he asked me to have some empathy for his friends who used to eat frozen food all day before I "came along". I told him from now on I cook only 3 times a week and just for us 2 and he said ok to that.

Last week was his friend "Ryan's" birthday. He hosted the dinner (party was at the bar) at our place without consulting me then sent me a list of the name of every friend attending and the meal they requested that I cook. Let me just say that there were 10+ of his friends coming over expecting me to cook over several different meals aside from dessert and drinks and whatnot. I was expected to do all that ony own while he just cleans afterwards but I refused and had an argument with him and I yelled that I wasn't his friends' personal cook and told him to cancel the dinner and go with his friends to the restaurant but he got upset saying it was unfair I put him on the spot infront of his friends since that might damage his relationship with them. He begged I suck it up and this will be the last time I cook but I declined and went to the bedroom and stayed there til he left.

He texted me hours later and kept on about me pulling out of cooking and ruining his friends birthday and by extension his relationship with him and other friends that he considers brothers. He said my reaction was not cool and I shouodn't have hurt him like that. AITA?

Wonder if the BF just went and printed menus...

# ? Dec 31, 2021 22:18

coronatae: Oct 14, 2012

Lotus Aura posted:

I've been reading this thread on an off for a while now and this kinda thing always baffles me. Fake names and stuff, sure, but why do they always dance around such utterly irrelevant details like this? There was one a few pages ago that was blatantly about Amway but they just said something paraphrased as "a well known beauty product MLM". Like, what is the point?

Theoretically it keeps the MLM fanatics from finding your post when they search for the company's name, and then flooding your post with pointless comments defending the brand. But in practice it wastes everyone's time, just say your MIL is so into oils she's part of an MLM and leave it at that.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 22:24

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

Hughlander posted:

AITA for yelling at my boyfriend that I'm not his friends' personal cook?

Wonder if the BF just went and printed menus...

Military, you say?
What�s to stop any of these selfish lazy assholes learning how to cook for themselves?

# ? Dec 31, 2021 22:25

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Grape posted:

It's a real dialect apart from the insane American wikipedia editor, but lots of people are really really mad if you call it a dialect rather than a language.

"A language is a dialect with an army." Per Wikipedia, whether Scots is a language is ambiguous, some scholars going one way, some the other. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scots_language

I went and looked this up because I was fairly sure Scots grammar and vocabulary overlap with English, but English is intelligible in Scotland and the reverse is often not true.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 22:29

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

AITA for driving my stepchild back to their mother's house even though my husband was against it

quote:

My stepchild came out as non-binary this week. My husband didn't really understand it but I told him that they needed support right now and to use their pronouns and we can deal with the rest later. My husband clearly didn't listen to me and talked to his sister. I think his sister told her son and her son send my child memes that were horrific and incredibly hurtful. They had only come out to her parents and step-parents and were not ready to come out to anyone else.

They came to me late in the evening and showed those memes to me and they were crying. They also were very betrayed by their dad's actions. They wanted to go home and my husband was against it and he told me if I was going to drop them off then I should stay at my parents which is closer to their house. I packed a back for both of us and dropped her off at her mother's place.

I have been staying with my parents for the last few days and things have gone sideways quickly. His ex-wife is going to file for full custody and he can't afford that. He is blaming it on me and I feel a bit guilty because he is going to lose custody. I feel like my marriage is imploding and there is no way to go back from being the reason you lost custody of your only child.

One more in the "good step-parent" column.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 22:54

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Cowslips Warren posted:

One thing I've never understood is snooping in someone else's stuff. I house sit for a few different families, and I remember after the first time I did, a coworker asked me what kind of cool things I had found in the house. I assumed he meant like the new pool table, but no, he was under the assumption I was digging through the closets and checking the medicine cabinets just to see what the people had.

Why.

In fact, the only time I ever remember looking in someone's house, was in the kitchen when I was staying over, and my friend specifically told me to dig around and eat whatever I wanted. And hindsight I think he was pranking me, because his wife is Japanese, and the only thing I found in the kitchen and pantries that had any English writing on it was a packet of McDonald's ketchup.

Your friend sounds like one of these Reddit man child husband stories if he�s so detached from domestic work that his Asian wife is responsible for all things kitchen related.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 22:59

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

AITA for getting mad at my fianc� because he didn�t put a stop on his dad�s comments?

quote:

Okay, so me and my fianc� (both 28) invited his parents for dinner at our place. I cooked a meal (not simple but not extravagant because I am not an amazing cook) and it was ready before they arrived.

When they arrived we had a conversation and the they sat down. I went to the kitchen to serve the plates when I hear his dad telling me to do it quicker. I wasn�t too bothered by that comments since they were probably hungry so I ignored it.

After I served them the plates and sat down I thought the �quicker� comment was in the past. But his dad started saying something to my son like �here�s a lesson for you. women need to feel threatened by another woman in order to reach their full potential. if OP had felt threatened she would�ve been faster.�

I was literally on the same table so I heard it and got very mad, but it is his dad so I decided to let my fianc� handle it. His mother didn�t seem surprised, she just kept eating and joined the conversation.

Well, he didn�t tell his dad to stop. Instead e started laughing and saying something like �oh yeah, don�t worry. once we get married things will be different.�

And that was it for me. I didn�t make a scene so I waited until they left to talk to my husband. I told him I was very mad at him for laughing at his comment instead of just saying no ir changing the topic.

He said that I am overreacting and that it was just the way his dad jokes. I told him I didn�t find the �joke� funny. He got pissed off and told me to talk to him once I�ve calmed down.

AITA?

Run fast, run far, and don't look back.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 23:08

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

Arsenic Lupin posted:

"A language is a dialect with an army." Per Wikipedia, whether Scots is a language is ambiguous, some scholars going one way, some the other. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scots_language

I went and looked this up because I was fairly sure Scots grammar and vocabulary overlap with English, but English is intelligible in Scotland and the reverse is often not true.

Every example of it I've been shown by people is intelligible. Or really not any different from other things people call dialects.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 23:11

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Lots of entertaining ones today.

AITA for telling my sister no when she asked to have my house despite knowing she has more children/needs more space?

quote:

For some context, I (29F) have an older sister (34F). About 5 years ago our mom died and her money was split in between us, the house though was going to go to whoever had a child first. I was 24 at the time of my moms death and clearly didn�t plan to have children any time soon so when my sister announced her pregnancy 1 year after moms death I wasn�t upset, I wasn�t even sure I wanted the house in the first place since it wasn�t my style.

Eventually I met my husband (30M) and we got our own house. My husband makes a lot of money and the house he bought is almost three times the size of the house my mom had left behind.

As of today, my sister has 4 children and is currently pregnant with her 5th child, I on the other hand just got pregnant with my 1st child. My sister and her husband came over for dinner the other day, she brought up the fact that I was pregnant with my first child and how she already had 4 about to be 5. I questioned her because I wasn�t sure where this was going, and then she said the following. �I mean you and Alexander (my husband) only want two kids, why don�t we switch houses? I could have this one and you take moms house. I would appreciate it! It would really help with space and you would make me and your niece and nephews so happy!�

I laughed out loud, the house mom had left behind was big and it was more than enough space for a 5th child. I know my sister wants my house because it�s more modern looking then moms.

I replied by asking her if she was mentally ill and if she felt okay. I was joking, I will admit it wasn�t the best thing to say but it was the first thing my brain could process to say. With that she started screaming, she called me selfish and asked if I had no compassion for her. she went on and on about how I know her and her husband are struggling with money and that the old house just wasn�t doing it for her, I yelled back and told her to get out of my house. With that her and her family left. Her husband was glaring at me the whole time and my husband couldn�t do anything but laugh because he found the situation ridiculous.

Since then ive received texts from distant family members, saying things such as �your sister never asks you for anything, just do her one favour� and �your mother didn�t die for you to treat your sister like an animal�

All I did was tell her no and everyone�s acting like im evil, their words have really made me rethink if I did the right thing, so tell me, AITA?

"Give me your house!"

Also, five kids in four years? Headed to Quiverfull territory, it sounds like.

Lemniscate Blue fucked around with this message at 23:15 on Dec 31, 2021

# ? Dec 31, 2021 23:13

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Give me your house (that I don't really even need)

# ? Dec 31, 2021 23:15

Laopooh: Jul 15, 2000

ArbitraryC posted:

Your friend sounds like one of these Reddit man child husband stories if he’s so detached from domestic work that his Asian wife is responsible for all things kitchen related.

I mean...maybe he's fluent and they eat mostly Japanese food? No reason to jump to ArbitraryConclusions.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 23:23

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Laopooh posted:

I mean...maybe he's fluent and they eat mostly Japanese food? No reason to jump to ArbitraryConclusions.

I mean it's also possible it was an intentional prank or they divide labor in the household fairly and it's an arrangement everyone enjoys. It's not unexplainable or inexcusable it just stood out to me as a bad look, particularly in this thread.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 23:42

Lemniscate Blue: Apr 21, 2006; Here we go again.

Okay one more.

AITA for cancelling holiday plans due to what is being called "Petty and childish behaviour"?

quote:

Every year before the Pandemic there was a group family holiday with extended family (Aunt, Uncles, cousins, grandparents etc) Over the years family member have had kids.

The last holiday before the Pandemic our holiday was planned and booked. A month before the holiday a family member let it slip when we arrive at the hotel, each morning multiple family members were going to dump their kids with me and go off to have "a proper holiday." Then collect their kids in the evening after dinner. When I asked the people with kids about this they tried to guilt trip me and shame me for being child Free and tried to get me to agree to their plan. I made it clear that I wouldn't be minding their kids while they go off on their own for two weeks. I'd they want a night off to go have dinner I have no issue minding them for an evening but not everyday as it was my holiday too.

I cancelled my hotel and flights as I lost interest in the holiday after multiple people tried to convince me that I was in the wrong.

When I told them I'm no longer going I was bombarded with messages calling me selfish and heartless.

They still went on the holiday and multiple family members have blocked me and cut contact with me as "I ruined the family holiday with my childish behaviour."

I get being a parent is difficult, stressful and a full time thing and everyone needs a break every now and then but AITA for wanting to enjoy my holiday and not be a free nanny for other family members kids.

I have to wonder what unreasonable things in the past this poster had simply done because it was expected of them, before growing a spine.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 23:45

deety: Aug 2, 2004; zombies + sharks = fun

Lemniscate Blue posted:

AITA for getting mad at my fiancé because he didn’t put a stop on his dad’s comments?

Run fast, run far, and don't look back.

In the comments OP says that she does pretty much all the housework because her boyfriend says that's her responsibility as the one who owns the house. But lol if she thinks that division of labor would change if they ever ended up owning a home jointly.

# ? Dec 31, 2021 23:46

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for demanding my sister never enter my home again after destroying my books?

quote:

I am an avid reader. I have a whole library in one room of my house (wall to wall bookcases, a reading chair, etc etc) I have the whole set of Harry Potter books on my "specials" bookcase (the case where I keep my collectors edition and books that are sentimental to me) . The reason why I keep them is because my grandfather bought me 1-4 in the year the 4th was released. He died of cancer 4 months later a week before Christmas. I bought the rest of the books as they were released due to the fact that they were the last things he ever bought me.

My sister (27) came over at Christmas this year. She was diagnosed with bipolar disorder 15 years ago and it causes her to act out sometimes. She usually acts out with words but not actions. She got upset at me because I didn't spend a lot of money on her for Christmas this year (I bought her a pair of pjs, some headphones, a phone case, 3 pairs of lulu lemon yoga pants and a pair of slippers). It seems that it was one of her off days because she yelled at me, called me a cnt and a btch and said that I don't care about her. All I care about are my stupid books. She then stormed out of the room. I thought nothing of it until she came back with a smirk and said "maybe you shouldn't value books over family". When I went to my room, she had taken my Harry Potter books and ripped the covers off of them, ripped pages out of them and ripped the pages up. She did this to a few other books which are easily replaceable so whatever.

I blew up at her. I kicked her out of my house and told her not to come back until she apologizes for what she did AND from now on, she will be supervised 100% of the time unless she's using the bathroom.

My family is furious with me. They have told me I need to apologize to my sister due to the fact that it was her mental illness. I have also been told that "books are just paper. Buy some new ones. You can afford it". I feel bad but these books mattered to me since they were from my grandfather and no one seems to understand that it's not the monetary value, it is the sentimental value.

AITA?

ETA: I have 3 brothers and 3 sisters. My dad, one brother and one sister are fully supportive of me putting my foot down (none of them read so they aren't fully comprehending but they understand where I am coming from since she did something like this to my brother before).

My mom, 2 other brothers and other sister are the ones on my case about this. The sister who did this is refusing to acknowledge any wrongdoing and has been bad mouthing me. Everyone but my mom was there for this event (parents can't be in the same room since their divorce so we do 2 Christmas events every year) so they seem to be throwing sides. My mom has been enabling my sister for years so no surprise that she's on her side

EDIT 2: there have been some comments saying that I am just trying to bash people with mental health illnesses. That is not true. I am going by what she herself told me about what SHE has been diagnosed with. Since I am not a mental health professional, I don't know how bipolar disorder affects each person. Mental illness is not a joke and it is not something I would look down on anyone for.

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:08

ShootaBoy: Jan 6, 2010; Anime is Bad.
_{Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.}

ArbitraryC posted:

I mean it's also possible it was an intentional prank or they divide labor in the household fairly and it's an arrangement everyone enjoys. It's not unexplainable or inexcusable it just stood out to me as a bad look, particularly in this thread.

Or, y'know, maybe the person married to a japanese woman knows japanese. You literally just made this up in your head to scold it, from like two sentences.

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:13

SiKboy: Oct 28, 2007; Oh no!😱

Grape posted:

Every example of it I've been shown by people is intelligible. Or really not any different from other things people call dialects.

Welp, better get in touch with those scholars and tell them that the matter has been settled by a forums poster with massive amounts of unearned confidence. I'm sure they'll be glad to have the question cleared up.

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:15

Rust Martialis: May 8, 2007; At night, Bavovnyatko quietly comes to the occupiers’ bases, depots, airfields, oil refineries and other places full of flammable items and starts playing with fire there

SiKboy posted:

Welp, better get in touch with those scholars and tell them that the matter has been settled by a forums poster with massive amounts of unearned confidence. I'm sure they'll be glad to have the question cleared up.

Scots, wha hae wi' Wallace bled,
Scots, wham Bruce has aften led;
Hark tae whit yon goon has said
Ye're jist a dee-a-lect

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:24

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Mx. posted:

AITA for demanding my sister never enter my home again after destroying my books?

Everyone but my mom was there for this event (parents can't be in the same room since their divorce so we do 2 Christmas events every year) so they seem to be throwing sides. My mom has been enabling my sister for years so no surprise that she's on her side

I wonder why dad and mom can't be in the same room together :iiam:

At this point she should never let her sister back in her house, in her car, or be left unsupervised with any of her things. She will seek revenge knowing she will face no consequences.

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:29

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

Mx. posted:

AITA for demanding my sister never enter my home again after destroying my books?

I keep getting hung on the "none of them read so they aren't fully comprehending" bit even though she's in the right here.

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:32

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

ShootaBoy posted:

Or, y'know, maybe the person married to a japanese woman knows japanese. You literally just made this up in your head to scold it, from like two sentences.

My wife is taiwanese and while yeah there are plenty of things in mandarin throughout our home and kitchen you're not going to open the pantry and not find anything in english other than leftover fastfood ketchup packets because I ya know, cook and shop for the household too.

ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 00:35 on Jan 1, 2022

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:32

codswallop: Dec 26, 2012; BABIES EVERYWHERE!

The Guardian's printed another episode of You Be The Judge

The prosecution: Roland

quote:

James resents paying more rent than me and constantly criticises my spending habits

My boyfriend, James, is a great guy but he�s very tight with money. We moved into a lovely two-bedroom flat six months ago when I was on a fantastic salary, working in finance. Then, I changed to work in the charity sector, which I�d always wanted to do, and couldn�t afford my half of the rent.

James is a lawyer who earns a near six-figure salary, and so for him, money shouldn�t be an issue. But when I asked if we could split the rent 70:30 or 60:40 while I found my feet, he made a huge deal out of it. He told me I should �learn to budget� and that he would be �giving me money� each month by paying more rent. I don�t see it like that � he�s simply paying a bit more because he has the means to do so. James agreed to a 60:40 split, but now takes every opportunity to criticise my spending habits.

He waits until the fridge is totally empty so I have to go out and buy groceries. He�s also always telling me to turn off lights, and turn down the radiator because �it�s costing him�. And when I bought a scented candle for our home recently, he snarkily asked �is that really a wise purchase?� before walking out of the room. I can�t remember the last time he planned a date, either.

When we met, he wasn�t like this. He would take me out regularly and we�d both spend our spare income on treating the other. Since he�s started paying more rent, he�s grown bitter. I went travelling last year before this new job and he brings it up often, saying it wasn�t a good financial move. But I paid for it all myself, so why is he still going on about it?

James grew up with less money than I did, and seems to have a scarcity mindset despite his brilliant salary. It�s like he wants to teach me a lesson because I�ve never had it hard. My family aren�t millionaires but when we first got together, he stayed in my family home, rent-free, for weeks. James should remember that when he insists on reminding me of my past expenditures. And if he�s going to help with the rent, he needs to do it gladly, or not at all.

The defence: James

quote:

Of course I want to support Roland, because I love him, but this can�t be the case for ever

Moving in together was a big step. I was fairly happy with where the relationship was, but Roland convinced me that we�d see more of each other and that it made financial sense. It has had the opposite effect.

A few months after moving in, Roland decided to travel around South America. He sorted his share of the rent as he was on a sabbatical, but obviously it was up to me to cover all the food and other expenses while he was away for three months. It also put a bit of strain on our relationship, keeping things going over Zoom.

When he returned, Roland quit his job, a move I supported. He�d always wanted to work in the charity sector and he�s much happier now. But Roland does need a lot of help splitting the rent and bills. Having less money is stressing him out in a way I�ve not seen before. I�ve agreed to help out, but of course I think he should make more effort to budget. He still buys lunch at work, or comes home with frivolous purchases for the flat that we don�t need � like the scented candle.

I�m on a better salary than Roland, but it has taken me years to get here. I grew up with a lot less than him and I understand the value of money more. Roland shouldn�t rely on me to fund his life. The travelling was indulgent and if he�d thought ahead, he could have used some of that money to support his career change.

When we discussed the possibility of me paying more rent I was initially reluctant. Of course I want to support Roland because I love him, but this can�t be the case forever � it�s a temporary safety net until he climbs to the next rung of his career ladder.

I disagree that we�re going on fewer dates because I resent him. I just think moving in together means we both make less effort. We take each other for granted � it happens to lots of couples. We could make more time for each other and we should both arrange date nights in the flat. I�ll try not to be so critical of Roland�s spending habits, but I think it�s fair that I keep tabs on the heating or the lights. I�m paying more, after all.

You can vote here. I'm on Roland's side because passive aggressiveness is more irritating than mooching.

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:35

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Grape posted:

Every example of it I've been shown by people is intelligible. Or really not any different from other things people call dialects.

That's where the "language is a dialect with a flag" comes in. Broadly, the languages of Norway/Denmark/Sweden are mutually intelligible. They're still considered languages because separate nations.

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:35

feedmegin: Jul 30, 2008

Grape posted:

Every example of it I've been shown by people is intelligible. Or really not any different from other things people call dialects.

Norwegian speakers can understand Swedish and vice versa. This is literally the point of the 'army and a navy' thing you have totally missed, its not as simple as that.

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:36

incoherent: Apr 24, 2004; 01010100011010000111001
00110100101101100011011
000110010101110010

Midnight Voyager posted:

I keep getting hung on the "none of them read so they aren't fully comprehending" bit even though she's in the right here.

The profound sentimental value is all I needed to NTA. Should have literally kicked her rear end out the door.

Comically, with a huge boot too.

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:37

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

incoherent posted:

The profound sentimental value is all I needed to NTA. Should have literally kicked her rear end out the door.

Comically, with a huge boot too.

Oh yeah, I am fully on her side! I just trip over that line like a wrinkle in a carpet.

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:39

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

codswallop posted:

The Guardian's printed another episode of You Be The Judge

The prosecution: Roland

The defence: James

You can vote here. I'm on Roland's side because passive aggressiveness is more irritating than mooching.

The takeaway comment is "should have a conversation with money before now" , which I agree is accurate but also probably should have taken place before using the last of your savings to take a long solo vacation then try to transition into being a sugarbaby. That's a huge bait and switch there though no surprise, spoiled rich kid probably just assumes that money rains on his life.

e: like it's one thing when someone more well off meets someone, and I fundamentally agree that a couple shouldn't treat their income as individuals but as part of the pair, but when they previously were maintaining an equitable split just unilaterally deciding to blow through all their savings then take a huge paycut out of the assumption the person who makes more will just cover it feels different and bad, it's very mask off.

ArbitraryC fucked around with this message at 00:47 on Jan 1, 2022

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:42

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for demanding a credit check before I get married?

quote:

I found out my fiance, with who I live and share bills, is being garnished for $30,000 because he co-signed on his sister's car that was repossessed.

His sister isn�t helping him with this bill or his parents. While I wasn�t planning a big wedding, this will not work for me. I don�t think he should be stuck with being garnished 25% of his income and not bring it up to his sister and family.

I told him it�s bullshit. I�m thinking of spending my whole life with this man, and he�s taking on other people's debts. He�s not saying anything to them. Just it is what it is. I had demanded to see his credit report before we got married, and he has refused. Now I�m thinking of either calling off the wedding or getting a prenup. He said it�s emasculating for him even to have me ask these questions.

I�m thinking of just breaking up over this because I�m not supporting his family with my money. If he wants to do that, it�s okay, but I�m not going to. To say buttttt family is stupid, especially when you are now $30k in debt, seems ridiculous to me.

Never co-sign on a loan!

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:44

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# ? May 30, 2024 07:29

ArbitraryC: Jan 28, 2009; Pick a number, any number; Pillbug

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for demanding a credit check before I get married?

Never co-sign on a loan!

I mean it's right there in the process, the banks need a cosigner because they don't trust the person to be able to cover it themselves. Really the only reason you should go for it is if the loan itself is at a level you'd be comfortable gifting the person and the whole loan rigamarole is just something to help them improve their credit in the process.

# ? Jan 1, 2022 00:53

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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