- Mx.
- Dec 16, 2006
-
I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!
|
AITA for demanding a credit check before I get married?
Never co-sign on a loan!
25% garnishment and he doesn't even want to try to do something about it? or even discuss it?? do not marry
AITA for telling my dad that I had a dildo before he tried to search through my drawers?
quote:So I’m a 22 year old woman. I’m in college so I still stay with my parents. Well my whole house is sick and I had borrowed some of his naproxen, and he came to my room to look for it. He asked beforehand and I said sure.
But he goes to open my bedside drawers, and I POLITELY asked him to please not look in them. He gets mad, and says “Why? What’s in there? You got loving weed in there or something?” And continues to try to open it.
This made me upset, because even though I live in their house, I AM an adult and I deserve some level of privacy. So I said, confidently and assertively, “No, but I got a dildo in there.”
And he made a disgusted face and was like “come on you did not have to say that. I did not ask what was in there”
I was like “well I tried to tell you not to look in there and you wanted to know so bad. Please don’t look through my drawers”
When I was a teenager this was a frequent occurrence and I am not trying to have him do it again.
Now it’s all awkward and he’s avoiding me. I mean, am I wrong? Did I go too far? I get that I live here, but I work full time and pay my bills, I go to school, I am an adult. It was awkward but it would have been worse if he saw it in there himself.
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 01:15
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2024 19:35
|
|
- lumpentroll
- Mar 4, 2020
-
|
25%?
it’s child support for a secret child IMO
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 01:30
|
|
- Cowslips Warren
- Oct 29, 2005
-
What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?
-
Grimey Drawer
|
Your friend sounds like one of these Reddit man child husband stories if he’s so detached from domestic work that his Asian wife is responsible for all things kitchen related.
Actually nope. His wife did do a lot of the cooking, but she hadn't bought a lot of real food since they were going on vacation, hence the need for a housesitter. There were mostly sauces and various things, and I wasn't about to take poo poo out of the freezer. I also didn't want to eat a bunch of expensive snack foods that were probably for the kids or imported or bought at a specialty store, and didn't want to dig around to get out cookware poo poo. The next time I housesat, the kids were older, and there was a ton of Japanese food, but also lots of Trader Joe's stuff. I still replaced whatever I ate.
Now this dude, however...
AITA for wanting to divorce my husband because of his depression?
quote:My husband and I both suffer from depression, but his is much worse than mine. If anything, his is making mine worse, because it's enough of a struggle sometimes to just get out of bed and do what needs to be done without also having to do all of the adulting for him as well.
At this point it feels like he's just an empty shell. He has to be told to do things. Usually multiple times. Not just things like house cleaning. He literally has to be told to brush his teeth sometimes.
Speaking of teeth, it's like pulling teeth to get him to talk to me about anything. He has no opinions and no ambition. I can't get him to make any decisions or answer any questions. It's all avoidance, indecision, excuses, or just 'I don't care'. I could tell him to pick option A or option B and that it didn't matter at all which he picks, and he'd still be unable to choose one.
All he does is spend every waking hour at his computer playing video games and watching porn. He drinks every day from 5pm to bedtime. He knows he's an alcoholic, but thinks he's a 'functional alcoholic', because he only drinks around 5 drinks a night and doesn't start before 5.
He kind of has a job that should start soon, in that he does taxes during tax season, for little pay, no benefits, and no guaranteed hours. He has a master's degree and extensive experience, so he could do something more, he just doesn't want to. He has no plans to look for anything stable. It doesn't seem to matter to him that I'm stuck paying for everything. If I press him, he'll say that he feels bad about that, but still makes no effort to do anything about it. I don't feel like he actually does feel bad about it, but rather knows that he should and so just says it when pressed, but actually doesn't have an issue with it.
He doesn't want to spend any time with me. Like everything else, he'll do it if I press him, but he barely interacts with me and it's obvious he doesn't want to be there. He even does things that he knows I like to do, but does them alone rather than with me, like playing a game I like. Or sex, yeah, he does that all by himself too.
We are both introverts and most of our interests are solitary activities, so this isn't a situation where I'm an extrovert trying to turn an introvert into a social butterfly. I don't need a lot of attention and would feel smothered if I didn't have alone time. But he is so absent from my life that I feel like I live with a very messy, expensive ghost. Still, I would rather have no time with him than time spent where he clearly does not want to be there.
At this point I'm just not getting anything out of this relationship other than rejection, bone crushing loneliness, a messy house, and a bleeding checkbook. It's been like this for almost 2 years. I've told him all of this multiple times and he's promised to do better. He doesn't. The reason why I want to know AITA, is because he wasn't like this before his depression manifested. He's on some medication and has regular therapy, but it's obviously not helping, and I feel like I'd be abandoning him to his mental illness for the sake of saving mine. I am drowning here and I don't think I can wait for him to get better, when there's no indication that he even wants to.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 01:50
|
|
- Bargearse
- Nov 27, 2006
-
🛑 Don't get your pen🖊️, son, you won't be 👌 needing that 😌. My 🥡 order's 💁 simple😉, a shitload 💩 of dim sims 🌯🀄. And I want a bucket 🪣 of soya sauce☕😋.
|
Your friend sounds like one of these Reddit man child husband stories if he’s so detached from domestic work that his Asian wife is responsible for all things kitchen related.
Read this thread long enough and you eventually start assuming the worst about everything.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 02:04
|
|
- Chloe Jessica
- Nov 6, 2021
-
Pick 2.0
|
Read this thread long enough and you eventually start assuming the worst about everything.
ArbC has always done that, though
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 02:06
|
|
- Evil Willow
- Apr 26, 2007
-
Bored now...
|
This guy. Just..... OMG.
AITA for defending my wife against my sister and telling her to be a better aunt?
quote:My (32m) wife (28f) is Peruvian & our girl is 6months. We live in Europe. When her sister back in Peru had her children, her entire family was around & had a childcare schedule, a cooking & cleaning rotation for the first year the baby was born. They also got an entire nursery for free & set up by the family. Her sister didn’t have to do nothing but keep their baby alive, everything else was handled by the families.
I thought it was awesome, My wife was so excited & couldn’t wait for kids.
When we announced our pregnancy, my family congratulated us but didn’t do anything. my wife had to plan & host her own babyshower, they only bought 1 item per couple from our registry instead of 1 present each which would have been the correct thing to do, so we were missing a lot of baby gear we needed & couldn’t afford.
My wife was very upset by the lack of initiative & generosity, especially by my sister (28f). Not once did she offer babysit or take our baby on holidays abroad where she lives. She didn’t give us a gift aside from the shower or help us.
We had our baby & everyone called to congratulate us, but no one bought my wife a push present, & no one came to help with chores, meals or childcare.
She started crying everyday about how alone & abandoned she was & that my sister never like her & didn’t care about our daughter. The difference between her family & mine was breaking her heart. 2 months after birth my wife sent a very long email to my sister detailing all the ways she had failed as a SIL & aunt, & was pretty brutal.
my sister forwarded me the email & wrote: ‘call me’. So I did & my sister was very aggressive with ‘wtf is this? whats wrong with her? Who does she think she is? ’
When she called us entitled nincompoops I told at her that she was a disappointment & my wife is right to be angry be the lack of attention, my sister was completely cold & unloving when my wife needed support. My sister told me to ‘move to Peru & raise your kids there then’ & I told her to not bother contacting us until she was ready to act like an aunt & she'd have to work to regain privileges.
We haven’t talked since & I was expecting an apology gift for Christmas but nothing came, not for my wife or my girl. We had a family dinner on the 26th & I brought up my sisters tantrum & the table got very shifty. Turns out my sister had forwarded my wife email to everyone in my family, with a recap of our conversation, saying she was 'respecting my wishes’.
I didn’t know that she had started a fund for my daughter but all the money and future payments have been redirected into my brothers kids accounts (so they’re getting 1.5x what they should at the expense of my own kid). My family think im a twat for what I said & my wife is angry at me because we’re losing money that belongs to our kid. my wife is still mad at me But I was just defending my wife during a time of distress when my sister was most unsympathetic & I feel like my wife started this, I was just defending her.
EDIT 1: comments are coming in too fast, ill try and addressed the main questions in bit. but we did tell my family about everything my wife family did and how appreciated it would be if they helped similarly. the fact that no one took initiative or organised anything is what hurts, and I don't know if my wife will ever get over it.
Edit 2: ok, I am the rear end in a top hat. ill talk to my wife and get her to apologise to my sister. hopefully things calm down and we'll all her if she'll restart a savings account for my daughter because its unfair that she should lose out due to a fight caused by 2 sleep deprived exhausted parents who just wanted help.
Edit 3: we won't move to Peru because my wife hasn't lived there in over 10 years and we wouldn't have the same quality of life or social security that we do here. we just wished my family would be more proactive and caring and would bridge the gap.
OP posted:we did communicate everything my wife family has done for my sister, and how nice it would be to have that support during our toughest time. just no one took initiative the way my wife family did, and my wife didn't want to force anyone so no one made a schedule. we were ok with not having as much help as her sister, but literally no one gave us anything or helped even during pregnancy, and my wife felt abandoned. my brother gave us some handmedowns but my wife thought that was tacky and gross and rejected them.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 02:53
|
|
- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
-
Pick a number, any number
-
Pillbug
|
This guy. Just..... OMG.
AITA for defending my wife against my sister and telling her to be a better aunt?
I like how the third edit implies reddit was also telling OP and his wife to go back to peru if they wanted the same family assistance, because obviously his wife is too foreign to count as family here. Stay classy.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 03:07
|
|
- lumpentroll
- Mar 4, 2020
-
|
dodging all the questions about what he does for his family
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 03:15
|
|
- Biplane
- Jul 18, 2005
-
|
Actually nope. His wife did do a lot of the cooking, but she hadn't bought a lot of real food since they were going on vacation, hence the need for a housesitter. There were mostly sauces and various things, and I wasn't about to take poo poo out of the freezer. I also didn't want to eat a bunch of expensive snack foods that were probably for the kids or imported or bought at a specialty store, and didn't want to dig around to get out cookware poo poo. The next time I housesat, the kids were older, and there was a ton of Japanese food, but also lots of Trader Joe's stuff. I still replaced whatever I ate.
Now this dude, however...
AITA for wanting to divorce my husband because of his depression?
Ah the ol' existential nihilism type of depression. Not a good choice for a rookie beginner at all.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 03:38
|
|
- Mx.
- Dec 16, 2006
-
I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!
|
My [31 F] boyfriend [32 M] has an extreme aversion to doing things I ask for "when I want it"
quote:I'll try to keep this as short as possible with two examples:
I cook, he does dishes. Ideally, I want him to do them right after we finish eating; just get it over with and you don't have to worry about it anymore, right? But no, he'll put it off and I don't say anything. Nighttime comes, the dishes are in the sink. Next day comes, the dishes are in the sink. At that point, I've had enough because I'm going to need to cook with them, so then I tell him to just wash the dishes already. And he refuses, saying he doesn't need to or feel like it right now, and why does he always have to do everything when I want to?
Another example: he has had boxes of poo poo in our storage closet that he has had to throw out for months. I wanted him to take care of it months ago. I've asked several times. I reached my breaking point last week and told him to TAKE CARE OF IT. I NEEDED SPACE IN THERE. And he says no, he doesn't feel like it right now. Why does he have to do everything when I want to? BUT I'VE BEEN WANTING HIM TO FOR MONTHS.
And sometimes he'll just do it to shut me up, angrily, and then get mad at me for being upset.
I really don't know what to do about this. I don't nag him and then when I finally get fed up and ask, he makes it seem like I'm nagging and being demanding.
tl;dr: Boyfriend doesn't do poo poo he's supposed to do for ages, then when I finally ask him to, he gets rude about it.
Edit: a lot of people are suggesting that he cook and I do dishes. He won't. I've suggested it. If I tell him that I'm going to stop cooking, he says "fine" and will resort to just eating takeout and cereal. So, if I don't cook, we both suffer in his pettiness. Mind you, he can cook, he just would refuse to.
Edit 2: going to delete the post soon since this isn't a throwaway and I've gotten a lot of good comments and I'm pretty much being told the same thing over and over at this point and it's getting overwhelming lol
Thanks for making me feel heard, I appreciate everyone's input, happy new year
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 03:42
|
|
- Grape
- Nov 16, 2017
-
Happily shilling for China!
|
Norwegian speakers can understand Swedish and vice versa. This is literally the point of the 'army and a navy' thing you have totally missed, its not as simple as that.
The point of that is stating that independent nations have clout to declare what they have a separate language regardless of intelligibility. Which results in silliness.
This isn't how linguists define anything though, and that's the discussion we're having!
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 04:32
|
|
- QuarkJets
- Sep 8, 2008
-
|
AITA for demanding a credit check before I get married?
Never co-sign on a loan!
If the car was already repossessed then why does he owe anyone $30k? Why are his sister's wages not also garnished? Do I just not understand how loan cosigning works?
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 04:40
|
|
- Ghost Leviathan
- Mar 2, 2017
-
Exploration is ill-advised.
|
Drinking in a bathroom is something you should only do at funerals. Not work parties.
At a funeral you take a shot from the glass and then toss it into the fire.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 04:41
|
|
- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
-
|
If the car was already repossessed then why does he owe anyone $30k? Why are his sister's wages not also garnished? Do I just not understand how loan cosigning works?
No, you do, thats why this obviously is child support or something else.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 04:42
|
|
- ArbitraryC
- Jan 28, 2009
-
Pick a number, any number
-
Pillbug
|
If the car was already repossessed then why does he owe anyone $30k? Why are his sister's wages not also garnished? Do I just not understand how loan cosigning works?
The 2nd part is probably a por que no los dos situation, her wages are/would probably be garnished too but she's also a deadbeat so they probably aren't gonna squeeze much blood from that stone.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 04:45
|
|
- lumpentroll
- Mar 4, 2020
-
|
AITA for my reaction to my fiance Christmas gift?
quote:
I've been going back and forth for days on whether or not I should post this, but I'll do just to get it out of my system. I've never been on reddit before, so fair warning if I mess something up. I'm using a throwaway account because I'm embarrassed having to ask this question to begin with, so I'm going to leave some things vague on purpose. The only things that I'll admit is that I'm Black (26f), my fiance is Caucasian (27m), and he works in the tech industry. I'll call him Dave.
So, Dave and I decided to spend our Christmas with his parents, his 3 brothers, and their spouses. Dave got a huge bonus this year and told me he "was going to go all out for me" this year to make up for the past Christmases where we couldn't really afford anything. He asked me what I wanted and I said I wanted a popular fuzzy bag that was making the rounds on social media.
We all opened gifts on Christmas Eve. One of my SILs got a fur coat, the other an air fryer she really wanted, etc. When it came to my turn, Dave handed me his phone. I looked and thought I was going to see a track package page for the bag. Instead, all I saw was an art picture of a monkey that was suppose to look like me.
I asked him what this was, and he said that was my gift! He then started explaining to me how he had gotten into investing earlier this year and had saved up to by it for me. He then showed his family who were just as flabbergasted as I was. I asked him how much money did he "invest" in this. He said 8k.
Everyone started laughing, which made Dave mad and made me even more embarrassed. One of his brothers even brought up the point about how it was poor in taste to give a monkey picture to your Black fiancee. Dave asked me if I was ever going to defend him and at this point I was so humiliated that I just got up and locked myself in the bathroom for a good cry. An hour later I called myself an Uber and booked myself a hotel until I could make it back home.
Dave called me and said I was the rear end in a top hat for bring down the mood in his family's house and for being materialistic. I told him that all I wanted was a $200 bag and he spent 8k on a monkey picture! He told me that he was investing in our future together and that I just couldn't see his vision. I'll admit that there were better ways I could've gone about reacting to the gift, and I do feel guilty about totally running off like that without any warning, but I was completely uncomfortable with the situation and I didn't feel like staying around to be laughed at.
So, AITA here?
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 05:29
|
|
- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
-
|
Someone saw that tweet that someone would get a bored lady ape nft for christmas and had to try and make it real
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 05:47
|
|
- Cowslips Warren
- Oct 29, 2005
-
What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?
-
Grimey Drawer
|
Jesus loving wept.
Reminds me of a doll set at Costco some years back: came with a doll, stroller, little doll clothes and poo poo. And the baby doll was dressed in a cute animal onesie. The white baby was in a cat costume, the Asian baby was in a bear costume. Guess what animal the black baby was in?
AITA for telling my in-laws that her husband needs to stop being selfish?
quote:My wife was on birth control before we chose to have a baby. After baby she tries to get back on but side effects are hard. Between having the baby, post partum depression, breast feeding and everything else the body undergoes after having a kid it didn't make her feel well. The general consensus from doctors, friends and family, "That's just the way it is."
Me: "WTF. You're telling me that you have to carry a baby for 40 weeks, deal with all the post partum healing, deal with hormones regulating to normal, breastfeeding, and everything else. And if you want sex without fear of another kid you just got to suck it up."
I had an epiphany that really shouldn't have been an epiphany. "It can't be this F*d up for women." It is. Why the hell it is after all this time. Well that's a whole different topic.
I told her we would use condoms. Well, come to find out we (yes we. I didn't like them but if she could carry a baby and deal with all the demands of breastfeeding I could sacrifice a little comfort during sex.) didn't like condoms. She was willing to deal with the side effects.
Nope. I looked up alternatives. Found the pull out method, delayed ejaculation, and other methods. We learned my tells together. A few disappointments for her. A few scares. A condom whenever finishing inside her. Over ten years later, one planned child and no more scares we found a method that works. The whole process of figuring out took a few months.
Enter sister-in-law and new husband. Has a difficult first pregnancy. A miscarriage. A difficult third pregnancy. Now finishing a difficult fourth pregnancy. All back to back before she could get back on BC. And still ready to get back on birth control cause he "doesn't like condoms" cause regular ones don't fit or feel good for him (He's 7.5 with a big girth sisters talk), even though BC messes with her too.
They ask us what we use when we're all together. She's tried all types of BC in the past and side effects get her. Now, she wants more kids but can't deal with all the back to back so is thinking of making him get a vasectomy. (We all know that point of desperation where we give in to the thing we don't want but will give us peace). In my mind WTF.
I call them out. Tell her not to settle and for him to (poor word choice) nut up and get his poo poo together. That if she can go through all this he can deal with an uncomfortable condom or not nutting once in a while. I say this freely cause again, sisters talk and I know my SIL knows we don't use medical birth control and assume she wants a guy to guy type conversation here to help convince him.
It didn't go over very well. "You're not us. And that might work for you but can't for us." It wasn't my place to bring it up. Making it sound like, because he has a big dick, it won't work. It's too tight and he feels too much with his size.
Am I the rear end in a top hat? I didn't interject myself into their life. I didn't bring it up and drop the bomb on them. They asked.
Yeah baby, condoms just don't fit cause my dick is soooo big.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 05:51
|
|
- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
-
|
A woman I knew offered to call her colleges science department chair when a guy told him condoms don't fit his dong so science could study the worlds largest human dong. She acted absolutely incredulous when he got confused and when he finally snapped and whipped it out she gave him a dissapointed "you lied, its tiny" before leaving.
Great gal.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 06:00
|
|
- AreWeDrunkYet
- Jul 8, 2006
-
|
AITA for demanding a credit check before I get married?
Never co-sign on a loan!
Now there's a good search term.
AITA for my response when my colleague said I was emasculating my husband?
quote:I f36 (married with 3 kids) work in this company for 4 years. I transferred to another department and met new colleagues. We were having lunch days ago and small chats when my husband called asking where I put the ceramic pan. I told him where to find it and ended the call. My new colleague Ross (40s, married with no kids, caling him passive agressive is the nicest thing you can say about him) was looking confused throughout the phone call. he asked if my husband cooks. I said yes, not just cooks but he also cleans, takes care of the dish washing, floor mobbing, toilet scrubbing, grocery shopping and deep cleaning rooms once a week. Ross started laughing as I went on and listed the things my husband does then casually asked who's the man in the house then if my husband's busy being the "housewife". I just glanced at him to explain as my colleagues kept staring. Ross said "'ok there's a man in the house aright, and I'm thinking it's you since you've emasculated your husband to the point of...mobbing the floor" others laughed
I said no we're just splitting duties and since I'm the current breadwinner he took it upon himself to help make things balanced after he lost his job. My other female colleague pointed out that I in fact am lucky my husband believes in partnership unlike most husbands which is a global issue. Ross said that I was indeed lucky to find a man with little to no selfesteem to be "gleefully" and "passionatly" taking on a role of a..."homemaker" like that. I was shocked and got extremely agitated after he proceeded to say that he was 100% sure my husband no longer feels like the "man" he used to be before losing his job. he called him "poor soul" and sarcastically hoped he at least still gets to keep his manhood in the bedroom. I was about to yell but kept it civil and looked at him and said " Oh don't worry he's doing just fine in the bedroom because he's always been enough of a man for me and as a result we have 3 kids. 3 kids while he (Ross) on the other hand.... everyone stopped for a sec and Ross had a shocked look on his face then lost it saying it was f&$# insensitive and pathetic of me for bringing his infirtility in an argument and use it as a low blow and said that I should feel ashamed of myself for bragging about my kids knowing that he can't have children for reasons he can not control. I replied that he should feel ashamed of how he was talking about my husband and told him maybe it's better that he just stop getting himself involved in other people's business. He doubled down saying he gets to get himself involved in whatever and wherever he wants because it's a "free country". Other colleagues started getting involved as the argument escalated. Ross told me he will make sure to let HR know about the lovely conversation we had and walked away like he dropped some sort of bomb on me. I got a lot of heat from his guy friends but one female colleague said Ross was rude but I took too far with what I said. AITA?
Edit: I have nothing against infertility and I know how devastating it is for families who want to have kids. I have 3 infertile close loved ones and I feel secondhand devastation for their pain and suffering. I myself had my share of pregnancy issues in the past and I'm blessed even though my oldest has a chronic condition.
Edit: people are saying I shouldn't have engaged further in the conversation and the reason was because of how he was acting and his use of word implying that I'm being unfair to my husband and using his job loss to gain advantage.
AITA for "emasculating" my (32F) fiance (38M) in front of his family?
quote:My fiance and I have been together for about 6 years, engaged for 2. After we got engaged, we sat down and had the "deal breakers" talk. Basically things in our lives, our futures, hypothetical situations that leave little room for compromise (ie adopting children, finances, family boundaries, religion etc).
One of the things on my list was no pre-nup. I'm not here to debate with anyone about their use, I just think that if you're preparing for divorce before even getting married, it's a sign that you're probably marrying the wrong person. He agreed and everything was fine.
Lately his family (particularly his mother) keeps on bringing up signing a pre-nup. I've told her no many times, said this is an issue between us and we will discuss it privately and make our own decisions as a couple. He also tells her no, although more weakly. Well, last night we went there for dinner and she brought out an actual pre-nup drafted by her lawyer. She put it in front of me after dinner and told me to sign. Obviously I didn't even read it let alone sign it.
She called me a gold digger. No one, including my fiance stood up for me so I stood up for myself. I told her that there is no gold to dig here: I make four times as much as he makes (I'm an MD and he dropped out second year), I've paid off all my student debt (he has over 100K left), I have my own house, ample savings and will certainly inherit more from my parents than he will from his (they have 6 kids and are middle class). What is she worried about? That shut her up real quick especially when my SIL then said "if anything, he's the gold digger here".
My fiance is now angry with me. He said it was emasculating for his family to know I'm so much more successful than him and his brothers are making jokes and changed his contact info to "gold digger". Personally, I don't think I was rude or out of line but he thinks I was an rear end in a top hat and could've handled it better.
AITA here?
AITA for 'emasculating' my husband infront of his parents?
quote:throwaway because i do not want my BIL or husband to find my real account
I(25F) have been dating my husband (30M) for five years and we've been married for two. He is very much a traditional 'man's man' but it never bothered our relationship till now so i didn't care.
2 days prior, he wanted to visit his parents now that we are all vaccinated. He asked me to come too and i complied since ii really enjoy most of his family. We went and had a great time until his father suggested a drinking contest. Basically a family tradition to see who could drink the most cups of watered down beer in a set time. It's usually only my father in law, husband, bil, and sil's husband, this time i wanted to try out too and challanged my husband to one. He laughed and said ok. Well i won and he got very frustrated. He pulled me into a empty room and started saying how i embarrased him and it was 'emasculating' for him and how i should be sorry. I told him to not get so serious and left the room. After 2 hours or so of cold stares from my husband, i suggested leaving. He said he wanted to stay at his brother's house for the day and drove there while leaving me to walk to home.(it's around 45 mins away walking distance).
I found what he did kinda petty but at night my brother in law calls me, tells me how upset my husband was because i humilated him and made him feel like less of a man. I called my husband and apologized but he has not returned to me since. So reddit AITA for emasculating my husband in front of around 10 family members?
AITA for "emasculating" my husband by complimenting his brother's new house?
quote:My brother-in-law & his wife just recently moved to our area (which is everyone's hometown) and invited us over as a housewarming party. My husband's brother is a successful plastic surgeon and he's got money, so their house is NICE. It's huge and airy and bright and gorgeous. Straight out of Architectural Digest. For reference, my husband & I are a regular middle class with a middle class home.
Obviously when you go to a housewarming you say "beautiful home!" but my tone was like "wow this place is genuinely gorgeous". My brother in law & his wife saw I was really impressed and could tell I wanted to see more, so they gave us a full walk through. Legit every room was gorgeous and had something unique, so I admit I was fawning over the place. After the tour, we sat down and had dinner and just talked like normal people do. I'm good with picking up social cues -- I could tell that my brother in law & his wife were happy and enjoying the dinner. I could also tell that my husband was uncomfortable and sort of curt.
As soon as we got in the car I was about to ask him what was wrong before he exploded saying that I embarrassed him, that I obviously think his brother is the winner, and that I should've married someone with more money if a fancy home is all I want. I didn't like how he was speaking so I didn't handle it very nicely either, I told him "don't take your jealousy out on me". We argued in the car, cooled down, and today was fine but just sort of awkward. I'm not one to hesitate to apologize if I'm wrong but I really don't think I was. My husband has less money than his brother, this is something I've always known and never had a problem with. I don't know why he's acting like this is all some big development.
AITA for emasculating my BF?
quote:I (30F) met this guy (28M) in January and he became my BF in February. Comes March, the world goes down the drain and we decided to move in together for the time of the pandemic. Everything is great.
In the morning, we have this routine where he browses Reddit and gives me the highlights. A few weeks ago, he shows me a post where this guy is challenged to an arm wrestling competition by his GF. The guy didn't seem to have any sort of training/work out whereas his GF did.
I commented he might have a surprise. My BF started educating me on biology and how men are stronger than women. I told him there were way too many factors to take into consideration to make such a broad comment. I have been doing weightlifting for 2 years and my BF has never seen a gym in his life, so I used us as an example. That was a BIG mistake.
He got really defensive and condescending, and made comments like "That's cute." I just let it go.
Fast forward to yesterday. He's playing some game with his friend (online) and I can clearly hear him talk about me. Well curiosity killed the cat.
At first it's all pretty and my ego is bursting, but then he says I'm delusional because I think I'm stronger than him. Pause. "Seriously? I know I'm weak but not weaker than a girl." So later, I decide to call him on his BS. I asked him if he wanted to come workout with me the next day (this morning) so he can show me how strong he is. He accepted and I was happy because I had been dying to bring him and initiate him to something I'm passionate about.
So, this morning, we went to my friend's (27M) garage (my region allows groups of 10 or less and we wipe everything). I told him we're gonna do deadlifts. It's my favorite exercise and I was already planning to test my personal best so it was perfect.
My friend was there cause he corrects my form and it's been our Sunday ritual since Covid-19. We started light and slowly worked our way up, doing the same number of reps as the other. Comes 185, his form starts to crumble so we made him go lighter. But 185 really isn't that much for me so I kept stacking the plates. He looked very supportive and impressed the whole time. I ended up beating my personal best at 265. I was ecstatic and so were they.
When we got in the car, he was very silent. I assumed he was just tired. We got home and that's when he exploded and asked me if I was proud of myself. Apparently, I humiliated him in front of my friend. I apologized. I didnt realize he was feeling that way. He got angry and said it really changed the way he saw me, like I'm less of a woman now. He stormed to the basement.
I started collecting my things, but now I'm wondering if I should have been reading between the lines and stopped at 190 or something. Or just dropped it and never suggested we workout together? I knew very well I was stronger than him but I just had to prove it to him. AITA?
Update: I still didnt get a word of him but since some of you asked, I will make sure to update you when he does. Thank you for the overwhelming response. That was a bit of a rollercoaster day but it made it easier to know I'm not completely in the wrong.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 06:04
|
|
- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
-
|
If you don't want to be emasculated, go out and hunt the local large predatory mammal with nothing but your wits and what you can make in the wild and wear its skin. If you die attempting this, don't worry, those who fail were never men anyway
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 06:07
|
|
- Arsenic Lupin
- Apr 12, 2012
-
This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.
|
I think "push presents" are gross, but even if you think they're awesome, they're from the father to the mother, not from random relatives.
Basically, what my inlaws owed me was lots of "Ooooh, isn't that the most beautiful baby in the world" (it was, objectively). Everything on top of that was sugar. Frankly, because she was the first grandbaby and niece, she got too many drat pink dresses. Who puts a newborn in dresses that button up the back? NOBODY WHO HAS TO CHANGE THE DIAPER, THAT'S WHO.
I don't know if babies nowadays get amoxicillin, but that poo poo stains something awful. Pastels on babies are bad.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 06:07
|
|
- snergle
- Aug 3, 2013
-
A kind little mouse!
|
run before he starts loving with your meds.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 06:44
|
|
- big dyke energy
- Jul 29, 2006
-
Football? Yaaaay
|
Dudes shouldn't complain about being emasculated unless they are literally getting their balls ripped off imo
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 06:47
|
|
- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
-
|
I spent a long day hunting the werebeasts that stalk the woods, eating nothing but a poultice containing a variety of herbs to help hide my scent and repel some of the lesser hexes those who make pacts with darkness enchant the edges of our lands with, so it is kind of emasculating that you think I don't contribute enough to this household if I don't also cook dinner because that is traditional "mans work"
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 06:53
|
|
- QuarkJets
- Sep 8, 2008
-
|
Active Duty Military - GA Wedding Venue Cancelled on US after we paid $9K
quote:
I have been planning a wedding from Osan AB in S. Korea my wife and I are both AD Air Force. We so far have paid the (reputable) venue here in Georgia $9k, the owner stopped responding last month and he just notified me today that he will be cancelling, he also said that he will not refund us any of the money we gave him because in the contract it says “all deposits and payments are non-refundable”. It was a stipulation that we make monthly payments before the event. He completely stopped responding to all correspondence about 2 months ago. Any advise will be greatly appreciated it. Heading to small claims court, but the lawyer fees are expensive and as you can imagine we’re very low on cash. Can the owner keep the money and just cancel on us because of the clause?
Edit: Location of venue is in GA. Small claims court handles up to $15K. I have a copy of the contract if needed.
Another Edit: I never missed a payment, he just stopped talking to us. We’re in town for the holidays and wanted to go over some details and he has been avoiding us. I’ve held my end of the contract.
quote:
There are plenty of reviews (as of two months) with the same claims. I started dealing with him in May, he was super professional, but as soon as we started paying him he would only respond when he received the payment.
"Sorry, no refunds" I shout as I peel out and flip the bird to all of my clients
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 07:04
|
|
- Barudak
- May 7, 2007
-
|
Theyre non refundable if the other party holds up their end of the contract
Also don't get married
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 07:10
|
|
- ChickenDoodle
- Oct 22, 2020
-
|
AITA telling my co worker that I will report him after he announced my pregnancy during lunchbreak?
They’re not your friends. Take Austin to the loving cleaners for outing someone without their consent. Doesn’t matter if your pregnant or gay or getting a divorce, you don’t out someone’s private info!
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 07:30
|
|
- cumshitter
- Sep 27, 2005
-
by Fluffdaddy
|
AITA for my reaction to my fiance Christmas gift?
He did get her a bag, it’s just not the kind you want to hold.
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 07:50
|
|
- Metis of the Chat Thread
- Aug 1, 2014
-
|
AITA for not accommodating the puppy my sister is raising to be a service dog at Christmas?
quote:My sister, Lily, and her husband, Dan, raise service dogs for an organization. They've raised at least 3 dogs in the past that have gone on to be successful service dogs, and a couple more that didn't. They almost always have a puppy they're taking care of, and like to bring the puppies wherever they go. The organization they raise them for has strict rules about the dog interacting with other dogs. These rules are understandable, of course.
A few months ago Lily and Dan got a new puppy, Pepper.
I hosted Christmas this year. My general policy on dogs in my house is that if they are friendly and well behaved they are welcome, just don't cause an issue.
This year there were already 3 dogs I had said could come, as well as my own. That was when Dan reached out to me, saying that they wanted to bring Pepper. They said that they didn't want to board her and thought it would be a good experience with her. I asked if she was able to be around other dogs, including 3 large dogs.
He asked if she would have to be around them and I said that the dogs would be in the house so unless he kept Pepper in their bedroom she would need to be able to be around them. He asked if there was any way I could tell the other people not to bring their dogs and find somewhere to board my dog. I told him unfortunately this wasn't possible, especially with such short notice.
Dan said that he couldn't bring Pepper if there were other dogs. I told him that was unfortunate but at this point the other dogs were coming. He asked what I would do if it was a person that was allergic to dogs, and I told him that was different.
He asked why it was different, which I just said you know why. Lily then messaged me saying that they weren't able to leave Pepper behind and that I should understand how hard it is for them to raise puppies for service dogs, and how it's even harder than regular dogs. She said that since this dog will help someone medically one day the least I can do is make simple accommodations.
I told her it wasn't possible at this point. She said she wouldn't be going if Pepper wasn't able to come. I told her that was unfortunate but if she needed no dogs there I would need to know much sooner so people could find somewhere else to board their dogs.
Lily and Dan both were upset at me and stayed home. When people asked why they weren't at Christmas, I tried to avoid the question.
One of them must have reached out to Lily, though, because yesterday I got a message saying I should have accommodated Pepper and I shouldn't have made Lily and Dan stay at home on Christmas, and that I “ruined” the holidays.
I don't think it was reasonable of them to expect me to change everyone's plans so late, but also maybe I should have because Pepper is training to be someone's service dog. I'm honestly torn here.
AITA?
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 08:09
|
|
- Adbot
-
ADBOT LOVES YOU
|
|
|
#
?
May 28, 2024 19:35
|
|
#
?
Jan 1, 2022 01:15
