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sugar free jazz posted:is that what happened here I can't go without loving for 6 months so we're going to have to toss monogamy out the window, how did you not see this coming
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Jan 10, 2022 13:36
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sephiRoth IRA posted:I can't go without loving for 6 months so we're going to have to toss monogamy out the window, how did you not see this coming what does out of the blue mean to you, and is that what’s happening here
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Jan 10, 2022 14:04
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sugar free jazz posted:[...] is that what’s happening here yes
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Jan 10, 2022 14:08
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Heterosexuals get so weird about this poo poo.
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Jan 10, 2022 14:21
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I've lost track of who thinks who is weird, but once you are engaged you are definitely past the point of asking for an open relationship. Or at least, can't seriously expect the engagement not to be reconsidered in light of the request.
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Jan 10, 2022 14:24
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Falathrim posted:Heterosexuals get so weird about this poo poo. idk why people say dumb poo poo like this as tho this particular incompatibility doesn't blow up gay relationships all the time too lol edit: like yeah the straights are weird about their exes etc etc. but you need more queer friends if you think "they asked for an open relationship and now I'm questioning everything" is a hets only issue lmao small ghost fucked around with this message at 14:29 on Jan 10, 2022 |
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Jan 10, 2022 14:26
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Falathrim posted:Allosexuals get so weird about this poo poo. Agreed 
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Jan 10, 2022 14:30
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Smirking_Serpent posted:Late 14th century? Hi from the UK. We've been here for a while. Total Meatlove posted:Usually means that there is evidence or extant pieces of an original building from the late 14th that has been extended on or built up over time. The house my wife's family lived in when we met was a 15th century cottage. The whole original cottage was the living room, with extra rooms and a second floor added on over the years. The doorway from the living room to the kitchen was 5'6" high and two feet deep, which is a lethal trap for a tall person.
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Jan 10, 2022 14:34
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Europeans (or maybe it's just europhiles from America?) get so horny for buildings from the middle ages, meanwhile in America everything is in a constant state of renovation. we can't get enough of tearing poo poo down immediately after its built. "just buy a new one" is our economy's god-given motto and by god are we proud of it
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Jan 10, 2022 14:40
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Falathrim posted:Heterosexuals get so weird about this poo poo. This is such a reductive take in honestly surprised it hasn't imploded on itself
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Jan 10, 2022 14:47
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sephiRoth IRA posted:I can't go without loving for 6 months so we're going to have to toss monogamy out the window, how did you not see this coming
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Jan 10, 2022 14:49
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BabyFur Denny posted:But that's absolutely not what she suggested to her partner. That is a very 'if a tree falls in the woods' view of monogamy.
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Jan 10, 2022 14:51
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Falathrim posted:Heterosexuals get so weird about this poo poo. it doesn't make you look cool when you say things like this BTW, it just makes you look like a weirdo
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Jan 10, 2022 14:53
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some of the denizens of this thread are the friends who gave op's fiance the advice to request to open the relationship and nuke her entire life lol log off
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Jan 10, 2022 14:56
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BabyFur Denny posted:But that's absolutely not what she suggested to her partner. You and I have incompatible takes on monogamy and I'm going to have to open up this posting relationship
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Jan 10, 2022 14:57
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BabyFur Denny posted:But that's absolutely not what she suggested to her partner. quote:she said that it would make sense to have an open relationship during this period, strictly hookups though and we will go monogamous once we are together.  "My partner has decided to bring up being intimate with strangers unprompted, during a time when I cannot observe her so even if I say no I will wonder if she's doing it anyway."
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Jan 10, 2022 15:13
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It's okay though because she promises not to have casual sex with other partners while he is in the same room, so
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Jan 10, 2022 15:16
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kalel posted:Europeans (or maybe it's just europhiles from America?) get so horny for buildings from the middle ages, meanwhile in America everything is in a constant state of renovation. we can't get enough of tearing poo poo down immediately after its built. "just buy a new one" is our economy's god-given motto and by god are we proud of it Nowhere is that more evident than the fact that the average life of an American sports stadium is 25 years.
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Jan 10, 2022 15:20
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kalel posted:Europeans (or maybe it's just europhiles from America?) get so horny for buildings from the middle ages, meanwhile in America everything is in a constant state of renovation. we can't get enough of tearing poo poo down immediately after its built. "just buy a new one" is our economy's god-given motto and by god are we proud of it That isn't renovation though, that's just letting poo poo fall apart, building something new in the suburbs and letting the urban centres go to hell.
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Jan 10, 2022 15:33
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hawowanlawow posted:some of the denizens of this thread are the friends who gave op's fiance the advice to request to open the relationship and nuke her entire life lol Which friends were these again
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Jan 10, 2022 15:39
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sugar free jazz posted:Which friends were these again I just assume when someone does something that fuckin stupid they have lovely friends egging them on. also they're calling him trying to get him to meet with her which fits that profile *8 trulys deep* "as a matter of fact, HE is the abusive and controlling one for not suggesting you open it up sooner. you're going to be apart for SIX MONTHS!" *passes out and pisses their pants*
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Jan 10, 2022 15:43
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sure okay posted:
Splicer fucked around with this message at 15:54 on Jan 10, 2022 |
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Jan 10, 2022 15:52
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Zulily Zoetrope posted:lmao he explicitly said music with lyrics so it's gonna be stuff like this "Honey! Its our song!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-LYB7iLZNWE Also when the officiant asks "Speak now or forever hold your peace " they need to play the drowning music.
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Jan 10, 2022 15:52
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Total Meatlove posted:Usually means that there is evidence or extant pieces of an original building from the late 14th that has been extended on or built up over time. I mean you say that but as a child I spent a couple of years living in a converted Tudor barn. 16th century, thatched, original wattle and daub walls. No indoors toilet. :P Then I spent a year when I moved back to the UK living in a cottage built in 1740. Neither changed much since they were built. Britain is old. A 14th century building is older than you'll usually see, for sure, but it's not out of the question.
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Jan 10, 2022 16:00
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I remember a line in a Charles Stross laundry files book, where the protagonist mentions something to the effect of, "Americans considered it an old city, which means it's younger than my post office."
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Jan 10, 2022 16:05
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Splicer posted:This is kind of the crux here. If he wasn't into it then their relationship was dead. So either she really didn't know her partner and so thought she had a shot, or really didn't know her partner and so thought the worst possible option was "Nah but we cool", or did know her partner and knew this was a likely outcome but valued taking the hail mary at getting some strange over keeping her long-term relationship. None of these options or variations on these options scream "People who should be talking marriage". Or some kind of "men can't keep it in their pants for 6 months so I'd rather sort it out ahead of time rather than be blindsided" thinking, though that probably belongs under "really didn't know her partner".
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Jan 10, 2022 16:20
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Splicer posted:This is kind of the crux here. If he wasn't into it then their relationship was dead. So either she really didn't know her partner and so thought she had a shot, or really didn't know her partner and so thought the worst possible option was "Nah but we cool", or did know her partner and knew this was a likely outcome but valued taking the hail mary at getting some strange over keeping her long-term relationship. None of these options or variations on these options scream "People who should be talking marriage". Nah it's just that being in an open relationship is so stigmatised that even the mere suggestion of thinking about a temporary arrangement apparently is enough for some people to immediately drop a nuclear bomb on their relationship.
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Jan 10, 2022 16:24
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If you have agreed to a monogamous relationship, then the mere "suggesteionc of a "temporary" arrangement unilaterally declared by o e side of it is a perfectly valid reason to nuke the relationship.
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Jan 10, 2022 16:29
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BabyFur Denny posted:Nah it's just that being in an open relationship is so stigmatised that even the mere suggestion of thinking about a temporary arrangement apparently is enough for some people to immediately drop a nuclear bomb on their relationship. How dare people decide what they want in their relationships based on their preferences
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Jan 10, 2022 16:41
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Not knowing that masturbation is normal really fucks people up.
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Jan 10, 2022 16:41
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BabyFur Denny posted:Nah it's just that being in an open relationship is so stigmatised that even the mere suggestion of thinking about a temporary arrangement apparently is enough for some people to immediately drop a nuclear bomb on their relationship. Or maybe things like open relationships need to be discussed between both people versus "hey, you'll be out of the country for 6 months, let's gently caress other people until you get back" with absolutely no prior discussion
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Jan 10, 2022 16:41
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Gnoman posted:If you have agreed to a monogamous relationship, then the mere "suggesteionc of a "temporary" arrangement unilaterally declared by o e side of it is a perfectly valid reason to nuke the relationship.
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Jan 10, 2022 16:42
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BOOTY-ADE posted:Or maybe things like open relationships need to be discussed between both people versus "hey, you'll be out of the country for 6 months, let's gently caress other people until you get back" with absolutely no prior discussion From the OP it sounds like she wanted to start a discussion and was perfectly fine with staying monogamous if her partner was not on board??
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Jan 10, 2022 16:44
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Gnoman posted:If you have agreed to a monogamous relationship, then the mere "suggesteionc of a "temporary" arrangement unilaterally declared by o e side of it is a perfectly valid reason to nuke the relationship. It's not a unilateral declaration. She didn't stomp in and say "we're poly now deal with it" she brought up the idea and he broke up with her because she was entertaining it. Like okay if that's your boundary, sure, break up. But, it just seems really weird that he blocked her and won't talk to her.
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Jan 10, 2022 16:44
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BabyFur Denny posted:Nah it's just that being in an open relationship is so stigmatised that even the mere suggestion of thinking about a temporary arrangement apparently is enough for some people to immediately drop a nuclear bomb on their relationship. Splicer fucked around with this message at 16:51 on Jan 10, 2022 |
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Jan 10, 2022 16:48
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Splicer posted:So are you saying she didn't know her partner or that she did know her partner but still thought it was worth the shot? She didn't know how her partner felt about this, obviously, since they never discussed this before.
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Jan 10, 2022 16:51
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If you really need to ask about opening the relationship, which is never a good idea in the middle of one, you should probably ask your partner how they think before making any suggestions. Test the waters maybe.
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Jan 10, 2022 16:54
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Maybe it wasn't the best idea to float the idea while he was away. A question like that is more like "I found a dude I'd like to gently caress while you're not around but I'd prefer to not feel guilty about getting the bone." when done in this context.
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Jan 10, 2022 16:57
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but if you test the waters first you're starting from a position of weakness and you might not get what you want
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Jan 10, 2022 16:58
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Post proposal and engagement is too late to have the first ever conversation about having an open relationship.
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Jan 10, 2022 16:59
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