mediaphage posted:

thinking about footlady some more (gently caress you all for doing this to me) cleaning yourself in the shower doesn’t actually strip you of any oils. at all. just don’t use soap. if you’re pretty religious about showering you can totally get away with it.

and if you can’t bring yourself to shower because you’re so dumbworried about skin oils, then you clean yourself without water by rubbing yourself down with scented oils and scraping them off. it works very well.

she just nasty.

i don’t think this is in response to abuse because she dragged her husband into it. she sounds like she revels in not showering vs unable to bring herself to do it because everything hurts.

mediaphage posted:

thinking about footlady some more (gently caress you all for doing this to me) cleaning yourself in the shower doesn’t actually strip you of any oils. at all. just don’t use soap.

StrangersInTheNight posted:

when i was real deep in a mental health hole i was in a group session with a room of people talking about how difficult it is to care about poo poo like brushing your teeth when you simply want to roll over and die

now i know the truth

i was actually in a room full of pedophiles

StrangersInTheNight posted:

when i was real deep in a mental health hole i was in a group session with a room of people talking about how difficult it is to care about poo poo like brushing your teeth when you simply want to roll over and die

now i know the truth

i was actually in a room full of pedophiles

Brawnfire posted:

Pope Corky the IX posted:

So you’d like to take the afternoon off?

teen witch posted:

I get what brawnfire stated and bad BO and CSA are linked in their mind. That’s it. Let’s move on

quote:

I(18f) have a best friend(17f) "Bonnie" and we both do horse riding. Recently Bonnie sneakily bought the horse I was competing on and was planning to buy(we had Agreement with the owner). Her family offered the owner 2 times the amount he is worth (they are really well off). I only found out it 3 weeks after from the owner by asking why the owner no longer allows me to ride him despite the Agreement between them and my family (my family runs an equine center).

So I had one last competition on him which Bonnie also entered on the same horse. Our tests were on different days and we compete in different classes. To put it simple she is in a smaller under 18 class with easier program and I'm in a larger 18 and over with more complicated program. I couldn't pull out from the competition due to all the fees paid and Bonnie knew it would be suspicious if someone pulls out but she would keep her entry on the same horse.

Bonnie didn't perform well and came 10th in her class. She blamed the horse and said that it is due to him being a difficult one to get used to (he is not and in fact a very lovely one). I came first in my class and took the first place with much higher score then she did. After I made sure the horse is clean, gave him treats and a good rub as he was such a good horse (Bonnie left him to me in abysmal condition and didn't even come to see him performing).

Yesterday Bonnie asked me for my medal. She said that she deserves it more since it is her horse. I have reminded her that she knew about the competition entry and it was her suggestion for me not to pull out from it as she might get eliminated as well if they suspect something is wrong with the horse and there's some rules that won't allow me to pull out that easily. She still insisted to get my medal and my results sheet since "its her horse and clearly I didn't do anything to achieve such results". I got frustrated and reminded her about her performance, Bonnie got offended and stormed off.

I got a call from her dad saying I must give my medal, all my results sheets on him and winnings (which were about 50$) since its their horse but I refused. I don't mind giving the money but the medal and the result sheet are the last things I have from this horse as a reminder of him being in my life. Because of this I was called an rear end in a top hat and while some people including my family are on my side, some believe I should give everything to my friend.

Edit: just want to add that sheets are called technical sheets and contain comments about the performance, which can be fairly personal. I don't feel comfortable Bonnie's family to have them.

Edit 2: just want to add. We were best friends until she bought the horse from under me. Bonnie still believes we are besties when I'm not so sure as best friends tell you about such important things and don't mislead you. I guess it would be better to call her former best friend?

Edit 3: with the original owner my family had essentially a loan agreement where most of the costs were covered by my family (with some exceptions like preexisting health conditions). The agreement also stated if the horse was for sale, the owner first has to inform which they did. We have agreed to purchase for the amount she wanted subject to clean xrays and vet check, which are expected if the horse is worth more than 10k. For the previous competitions the original owner only wanted the ribbons, not medals or technical sheets and generally in my country the rider keeps the medals and technical sheets, ribbons go to the owner and money go to sponsors. Sometimes the technical sheets can also go to a sponsor if they ask. In this case neither the owner nor Bonnie family were sponsors as all the costs associated with the horse for the competition were covered by my family, including paying for the horse staying at the venue.

Brawnfire posted:

It makes me anxious because I was in scouts with a kid who refused to shower. He'd show up to meetings reeking, in rumpled clothes and poo poo, not even a full uniform. Of course he was in my patrol, so we were always getting demerited and we'd be yelling at this kid to come in uniform while he looked back with dead eyes.

He was at summer scout camp for two weeks, and wouldn't shower until his dad wrestled him into the showers week 2, screaming.

He's in prison for owning child pornography now, so I always think of these things and get extremely nervous when someone's hygiene is this bad, because it's gotta be an indicator of some whack poo poo at some level.

quote:

Buying a house for your parents (36Y,M VS 70Y couple)
[new]

**TL;DR;** : Not enough money, wanna keep relationship. What do u suggest ? (Man, 36Y VS couple, 70Y)

Wanted to know, did any of you buy a house for their parents ? It's an official request from them. They are retired.

I don't have my own place yet. But my parents are starting to hate the place they live in and they don't want to invest into their duplex appartement to make it better. If they fix it, it would probably cost them 80% economy and they don't want to be less emergency money.

They have owned it for 20+years. It has more than enough room for them. It's a decent duplex. Its location is PERFECT.

I keep telling them to invest to fix it instead of buying a new home but it's like speaking to a deaf person.

Now I would like to invest for my own place but I fear their resentment. Especially since this request has been going for years and I kept denying it since I didn't feel like being in debt. They would probably be like : "oh so now, you can be in debt..."

Anyway, buying 2 houses with 0 support money will be really hard so I'm thinking of putting them first. Even though I know that they will only be happy the first years before complaining again.

I fear my own resentment towards them but I can work on it hopefully.

Hughlander posted:

Horse girl drama?

AITA for not giving a medal to my friend?

She still insisted to get my medal and my results sheet since "its her horse and clearly I didn't do anything to achieve such results". I got frustrated and reminded her about her performance, Bonnie got offended and stormed off.

Hughlander posted:

Horse girl drama?

AITA for not giving a medal to my friend?

the horse is worth more than 10k

I must give my ... winnings (which were about 50$)
I don't mind giving the money

kimbo305 posted:

That seems too simplistic. If you scrub yourself vigorously with just water and then towel off really hard, you're gonna lose some surface oil. I know I do on my face.

Ghost Leviathan posted:

I don't know what they do to these kids to make them hate and avoid showering rather than finding it relaxing and enjoyable, and perhaps I don't wanna know.

quote:

I recently went on a relatively large group road trip with my friends. The trip ended on a bit of a sour note when the discussion of how to split petrol costs was brought up in the group chat. We are a group of 10 people and we decided that taking 3 cars as to save on petrol whilst not being cramped in our cars. Everyone here is employed full-time with the exception of me and one other person who was arguing against me.

For the sake of understanding the post I will label the cars that were taken car A (my car), car B and car C.

So on the trip to our destination, I was one of the designated drivers and I brought 3 people in my car (4 including myself). 2 people came in car B and the remaining 4 came later in car C. The drive was approximately a 2:30-3 hour drive. At our holiday destination, the car arrangements were altered as people had different plans and activities they wanted to do.

On the way home, I only had 2 other people on my car, my partner and one of my friends who had been in my car on the way there. After we have all arrived home and we were sorting out splitting bills, the group said that fuel costs were to be split based on who was in the car for the majority of the time. Now as only myself, my partner and one other friend was in my car for the majority of the trip, a few more vocal members (people who are not drivers) of our group said that petrol costs for car A will be split 3 ways and B will be split among 3 people and C split amongst 4. One thing to note is that my car has pretty poo poo fuel efficiency as it's an older car. Now the dispute really comes down to around $8/pp more for myself and the people on my car. I found it unfair that we split based on time spent in cars and it would be fairer to split all petrol evenly as people assigned to car C will end up with a smaller bill despite most people shifting around most cars throughout the trip (apart from the drivers).

Now where I might be an rear end in a top hat was during a heated discussion in the group chat. My main argument being that we all went on a trip together, our food and drinks were split evenly despite people not eating the same amounts and that people moved between cars. Overall it'd obviously be a hassle to calculate time every person spent in each car so splitting costs evenly makes the most sense. In the argument, I stated that my method was obviously superior and fairer and my previous trips had utilised this method and had no problems with money.

The argument the others had was that this was the way that they had done it previously and that it isn't fair for some people to pay for what they didn't "use".

The argument ended when people agreed to do the payment my way but to potentially revert back to their ways with people strictly staying in one car. In spite of me "getting my way" a few people were clearly reluctant and begrugingly agreed to the plan. It's been a few hours now and even after talking to other friends about it and being reassured, I still feel guilty and I haven't been able to sleep thinking about how I changed the way they had organised paying for petrol previously and causing an argument over realistically a couple of dollars.

Apologies if I ranted much longer than the story really requires, as I said I haven't been able to sleep for a few hours so I'm just writing out everything and I figured I'd ask reddit for their opinion on if I was the rear end in a top hat and if I should have done something differently

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for asking my friends to split fuel costs evenly

Imagine starting an argument over this to save $8.

therobit posted:

I had a friend in college that carved a set of gaming dice out of wood and finished them by rubbing them against the side of his nose so his facial grease would sell into the wood. We all refused to touch them or allow him to play with them on common surfaces.

StrangersInTheNight posted:

when i was real deep in a mental health hole i was in a group session with a room of people talking about how difficult it is to care about poo poo like brushing your teeth when you simply want to roll over and die

now i know the truth

i was actually in a room full of pedophiles

Arsenic Lupin posted:

That used to be a thing people did with meerschaum pipes to condition them. (Does anybody still smoke meerschaums?)

Invisible Clergy posted:

They sell dedicated oils to help condition those for hobbyist smokers same as wood. When you're staining a deck, you don't just rub foot grease on it, you'll go buy some kind of sealant.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA For staying at a buffet for a long time

I wonder how much crab he is putting away in 3 hours.

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA For staying at a buffet for a long time

I wonder how much crab he is putting away in 3 hours.

Arsenic Lupin posted:

That used to be a thing people did with meerschaum pipes to condition them. (Does anybody still smoke meerschaums?)

quote:

I’m changing up some details for privacy.

I (33M) have a half brother named Rob (40M). We’re not especially close, as Rob is very religious and I’m agnostic. He’s one of those people who tends to push his beliefs on others, and even though I’d be happy to agree to disagree about Christianity, he can’t accept my view. To give context, Rob is estranged from both his daughters (21 and 17F), and he’s barely close with his son (19M). He runs a very structured household, with no alcohol, no PG-13 movies, and daily family bible study. I’m not saying those things are bad, just that I can see why young adults wouldn’t want to live in that environment.

Well, Rob has started to offer Christ-based family and marriage counseling at his church. He’s semi-retired due to investments, but he’s also an associate pastor (to his credit, he volunteers).

The problem is that he holds himself as this model of a Christian family man, but his own kids don’t talk to him. When his daughter Kira was getting bullied horribly in high school, he just said he was asking the Holy Spirit to give her the gift of discernment in her friendships. My nephew had a pink shirt in his teens, and Rob burned it in the trash pit because he thinks men wearing pink is a perversion. I don’t trust the quality of “counseling” he’d provide.

My neighbor goes to Rob’s church, and her daughter Anya is really struggling with self-esteem and shyness. My neighbor was telling me that she heard about Rob and wondered if he’d have an open appointment for Anya. I said he probably would, but I wouldn’t trust the quality of his advice, especially for a vulnerable teenager.

When my neighbor asked why, I told her Rob is estranged from his kids. She had to run after that, but apparently she spread the rumor all around their church. Rob called me feeling genuinely hurt, and he said he knew it was me because I live next door to Anya and her mom.

AITA? I wasn’t trying to be malicious.

Funky Valentine posted:

Everything dies, baby that's a fact
But maybe everything that dies, someday comes back
Set three hours aside
The prices aren't that lovely
We'll eat crab tonight in Atlantic City

quote:

I'm so sick of entitlement.

Last year my (M43) girlfriend (F35) complained about the flowers I picked up as a nice low-key present while shopping. Not high-end. I had to pay for entertainment all year and took on many fancy trips. Mind you, she's more than broke herself, with little progress for a year. When she didn't get what she wanted, she turned resentful. She's my ex now.

Yesterday I canceled a second date -- I had invited her (F26) over to my place, I was going to cook a nice dinner for us. She happily accepted, though you'd think she'd ask: Can I bring a bottle of wine? Or: Remember, I have a shellfish allergy! No, what she asked for was a black car back to pick her up and drop her off after, from across town, because there was snow and she shouldn't have to take the subway [edit: I don't have a car: most people don't; it's normal in NYC to take the subway]. No thanks. I stopped taking out women from dating apps for first dates at restaurants. Cocktails only. Yet, I don't want to limit myself to dating doctors (who have to work locally, and a lot) or finance people (whose interests I find .. uninteresting!)

Mind you, objectively, the cost shouldn't matter to me. I'm doing well. I'm generous with friends. But this stings, big time. I feel used. The sugarbaby dynamic is an instant boner killer. I want to feel desired and appreciated for something else than my money.

Scarcity breeds irrational behavior (see NPR on "How the Scarcity Mindset can Make Problems Worse"), and, strangely, I think it even leads to a sense of entitlement.

Why can't people be more self-aware and see it before they spring such things on a date they barely know?

Do you feel the same? Do you get a kick out of being the "caretaker" and being able to bankroll your partner's desire for luxury? Or do you feel used when that happens? How do you avoid the dynamic in a partnership?

redditor1 posted:

Maybe you're attracting sugarbabies because you're dating woman 1-2 decades younger than you who likely are only interested in you as a sugar daddy. I hope you can find someone closer in age and status.

redditor2 posted:

As someone his age, younger women can keep him.

Sisal Two-Step posted:

AITA for exposing my brother’s “counseling” business?

quote:

My daughter, (23) got engaged to her now fiancè Aaron, (29), Aaron comes from a different place than my family. And in our family all women kept their maiden name even after they got married.

Last week, my daughter and Aaron visited to talk about the wedding and then brought up the last name arrangements, I was taken by surprise when my daughter said she planned on taking Aaron's last name once they get married, I truly was not expecting this because like I said all women in the family kept their maiden name which is a part of their identity and legacy and...I couldn't help but think my daughter was throwing all that away by deciding to take Aaron's last name. I asked her if it was her decision or Aaron pressured her and Aaron started side eyeing me. My daughter said that it was a decision she made by herself and she was not pressured by anyone, I told her that I don't agree with her on this decision and that I thought that it was hasty and a bit offensive of her to do that frankly. The conversation got uncomfortable and Aaron had to go outside to smoke. My daughter started arguing with me about what I just said but I said that was truly how I felt about this whole thing considering that she's the only member of the family to give up on her family's name, she lashed out saying I get 0 zero opinions on what she decides to do and I should stop guilt tripping her but I don't think I was because...I was just telling her how I felt about it.

She didn't like it and decided to leave early then called my husband and ranted to him about the conversation we had and he sided with her saying our daughter is an adult and this kind of decision is up to her but I still said that I disagree with her decision nomatter what her motive is honestly.

It's been a week and she hasn't called yet, probably expecting me to reach out and apologize.

Evil Willow posted:

Tell me you're racist without telling me you're racist.....

AITA for not agreeing with my daughter on taking her future husband's last name?

quote:

So I (19F) started Uni and moved into student halls and everything was going ok, or so I thought. Each floor had like 8 ish room, a communal bathroom, a communal lounge area and a communal kitchen. For the first month or so people were just cooking their own food, but word got around that “Tom” (18M) is a pretty good cook, so some of the people on our floor basically came up with the idea that we buy all the food and he cooks a few nights a week. Also, it was already a tradition that Saturday night was takeout night, so everyone said to make it fairer on Tom that they would pay for his food when we got take out. Tom is really shy apparently so it took some convincing, but he eventually agreed. Tom asked for a list of any allergies and stuff, he did take some requests but in general, he just made what he wanted and cooked enough for everyone.

Now just because of certain commitments I had, I was never around for takeout night until last week. We put our orders in and I got out enough cash for my food ready to give it to the guy who was gonna pay, then they ask for another £1.15, I asked why and he said it was my part of Tom’s food. I said I wasn't paying for his food since I’m never around for takeout night and it doesn’t seem fair. He said that I eat what Tom cooks, and I’m flakey when it comes to helping with groceries so it’s really only fair I pay and that it’s not that much. I got upset that he called me flakey and said if it’s “not that much” then Tom should just pay for his own food. He just gives me my money back, keeping £1.50 of it, saying if I want takeout, to get my own.

I yelled and called him a thief and tried to get campus security involved but they wouldn’t listen to me and let them keep my money since I had agreed to this arrangement at the beginning of the year (I don’t remember agreeing to it but they have texts that say I did).

Now they are excluding me, not cooking for me, giving me dirty looks and I just feel so isolated and excluded. Since this all revolves around Tom I wrote a note saying how I felt and that I thought he was nicer and better than this and slid it under his door. Apparently, Tom has been emotionally on thin ice recently and broke down. Really? Like you should have a better hold on your emotions at our age.

Now everyone is calling me an rear end in a top hat and a bunch of the people have decided to stop the cooking agreement for a while because Tom apparently has too much on his plate right now. And some people are also mad that I “pushed him over the edge” and messed up the agreement. With so many people mad at me, I can’t tell, so AITA?

quote:

Edit: Friends ex (I know him as my friends bf that why I put it at that)

Me(F24) and Rick(M28) are dating. We are very sociable and do a lot of gatherings for out friends at mine’s.

Our friend group is made mostly out of Ricks co-workers. He is especially close with Kyle(M21) because he is the youngest and Rick has kinda taken to mentoring him. That being said me and his gf got really close and I consider her a friend.

Recently my sister Nicki(F20) broke up with her HS sweet heart and got a really good job offering to my city. She asked if she could stay with us until she got on her feet and I of course agreed. Things were going awesome and I would encourage her to come out with our friends so she can have some company during this rough time.

Now my sister is kinda shy but living with me these past 8 months she got really close to our friends.

Kyle and his gf were having a lot of problems and about 7 months ago decided on a break with some rules but apparently Julia(F22) broke them by getting with someone. Needless to say Kyle was crushed so I encouraged him to talk to Nicki about it since shes been in a similar position recently and thought talking with someone who understands will make him feel better. Ever since then these two have become inseparable and got inseparable when we go out.

Recently Julia confided in me that she wants Kyle back and asked for help which I said yes, but when I talked to Kyle about it he said he will never get back together with her because he has eyes for someone else. I told Nicki what he said she got a little flustered so I told her about Julia and she said I shouldn’t help her because she cheated. I told her it’s not technically cheating but she got mad at me. I immediately knew something was off.

So I was paying more attention to them during hangouts and noticed they act very couple like. When we would go out to bars Kyle would get really protective and throw his arm around her shoulder so “creeps back off”. Eventually my suspicions were right as one day the both put out some lame excuse as to why they can’t hang out so I left the dinner early and found them on a compromising position.

I screamed at Nicki about how could she do this to my friend and keep it a secret from me and she said that if I cared more about her feelings than a dirty cheats I would be the first to know about how she found someone who finally gets her and what she’s been through. We argued and in the heat of the moment I told her to get out and she packed her stuff and idk where she is and she won’t answer my calls.

My boyfriend told me I’m such a rear end in a top hat for one mending with her personal life, and two trying to catch her red handed instead of talking. Kyle sent me this long message about how he loves my sister and he will never get back with a narcissist like Julia and to please consider trying to fix things up between me and Nicki because he hates seeing us fight about something so petty. AITA?

Hughlander posted:

AITA for leaving a note saying I felt excluded by my roommate?

Hughlander posted:

AITA for leaving a note saying I felt excluded by my roommate?

ad090 posted:

AITA for kicking my sister out after I caught her with my friends boyfriend?

ad090 posted:

AITA for kicking my sister out after I caught her with my friends boyfriend?

hawowanlawow posted:

wow a real "they were on a break!!"

OP thinks they're a puppet matter when really they're just a loser

Pope Corky the IX posted:

EDIT: YOU HADN’T CHANGED IT YET MOTHERFUCKER

teen witch posted:

y’all grease foot is breaking me

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA For staying at a buffet for a long time

I wonder how much crab he is putting away in 3 hours.

quote:

I (F22) have been with my boyfriend (M21) for 11 months now. We own two cats together, live together, and love each other very much. I don't remember how this topic got brought up but it has been bothering me a LOT since then. There's been a few things in the past we've disagreed on, but never to this degree of it infringing on my own sexual identity.

He's known from the beginning I am a bisexual woman. I've known since before I even hit puberty I am attracted to men and women. I've pursued both throughout my life, but now that I've settled down with him and am in a "straight relationship", my label is straight. He believes this about every bisexual person. I couldn't believe how ignorant and close minded and just outright stupid he was sounding as he explained this.

I tried to explain how harmful this opinion is and that this is why bisexual erasure is still a rampant thing amongst the gay AND straight community. I don't stop being bisexual because I am with a man. I don't stop being bisexual when I'm with a woman. I asked by this belief that, if every bisexual person was in a committed relationship right now, then no bisexual person would exist, only straight and gay? He said yes. He thinks there should be a different word. I said there is a word. It's BISEXUAL.

I've taken a lot of personal offence to this conversation and I can't wrap my head around talking to someone who thinks they know more about my own sexual orientation than I do. I don't know how to further talk about it, his opinion isn't changing. I just feel really upset and invalidated and disappointed he thinks like this. And if I would've known this in the beginning I likely wouldn't have pursued this. I don't want to end things over opinions but this is awful and I look at him differently.

What do I do here.

TLDR; Boyfriend says I am straight since I'm with him in a committed relationship, even though I still identify and have ALWAYS identified as bisexual. I don't know what to do or how to feel or what to think.