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people who think it's bullshit the dude name always gets passed on by default and who are willing to put their money where their mouth is with their feminism and allow the person who actually has the baby get the dynasty do indeed exist.
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Jan 27, 2022 17:25
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RenegadeStyle1 posted:I don't quite understand taking the wife's name in relation to marriage. I totally understand not taking the husband's name and in fact me and my ex wife didn't change either of our names and it worked out very well since we got divorced but I've never understood taking the wife's name. If you think it's bad to get rid of your identity by taking on your husband's name why is it good for him? Unless you're on the run or don't want to get searched, but I imagine that's a very small amount of people. Im also not saying it's wrong, I'm genuinely curious as to why you would do it. Making a new name entirely is also an option, but sometimes someone really likes their wife's family and actively wants to feel a part of it.
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Jan 27, 2022 17:25
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I can get behind the picking a new name but I've looked into changing names before for someone else and I feel that it'd be an insane amount of money to both change your names for something pretty inconsequential.
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Jan 27, 2022 17:26
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Neito posted:Wasn't this specifically a plot point in Eva or soemthing? Gendou had some other last name and took Yui's last name IIRC. Name changes are automatic in Japan on marriage, someone legally must switch, and him taking his wifes name in a society where 95%+ of marriages the wife switches her name was a tip off that maybe we shouldn't let him be alone with the robot
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Jan 27, 2022 17:33
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jazzyhattrick posted:Is it really so hard to just not gently caress somebody else? Like if you love your partner and don't want to hurt them, can't you just gently caress them instead of some random skank/fuckboi? Why do serial killers or paedophiles do what they do in spite of either of those being even more destructive than cheating? These things being taboo is part of what makes them sexually arousing for people who get off on depravity. Plus they're narcissistic and don't care about harming others in pursuit of their own satisfaction. I'm not saying cheating is on par with those but the same principle applies I think, you know it's wrong/risky but that just makes it hotter. They also think they're smart enough that they'll never get caught, and they've been rehearsing their excuses for so long they either think they can talk their way out of it or they even start to believe their own rationalisations.
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Jan 27, 2022 17:35
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RenegadeStyle1 posted:I don't quite understand taking the wife's name in relation to marriage. I know a guy who married into a billionaire family and I guess wanted to cash in on that for himself as well as their kids.
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Jan 27, 2022 17:37
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jazzyhattrick posted:Is it really so hard to just not gently caress somebody else? Like if you love your partner and don't want to hurt them, can't you just gently caress them instead of some random skank/fuckboi? I think it's some combination of people being selfish and taking their partners for granted and many people not being suited to long-term monogamy. We all know that sexual desire tends to fade the more familiar you become with your partner over time and there are a variety of ways to address that issue, but I think a lot of people just bury their heads in the sand. I don't know what the solution is. It's probably a different solution for different people. But I think putting marriage and strict definitions of fidelity on a pedestal don't really help address the issue.
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Jan 27, 2022 17:56
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Cheating on a partner is morally repulsive, the integrity of any cheater is non-existent. If they're willing to betray the person they supposedly love more than anyone else then who's to say they aren't willing to betray their friends if it becomes personally beneficial for them to do so? I end friendships if I find out they cheated on a partner, there is not a single good excuse and I'd rather surround myself with higher quality people. Not cheating is incredibly easy, do these people not have any self control? Anything remotely resembling long-term thinking? Cheaters come across as both lacking any kind of consideration for other people as well as just really loving dumb.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:12
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Neito posted:Wasn't this specifically a plot point in Eva or soemthing? Gendou had some other last name and took Yui's last name IIRC. No idea. I just remember meeting a couple guys who did that because we were in farm country and the old guys have to have someone to pass their land to.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:18
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Mustang posted:Cheating on a partner is morally repulsive, the integrity of any cheater is non-existent. If they're willing to betray the person they supposedly love more than anyone else then who's to say they aren't willing to betray their friends if it becomes personally beneficial for them to do so? I can't say I agree with you, but your opinion is definitely a popular one. I agree that cheating is wrong--and it's the lying that is the wrong thing, not simply the act of having sex outside of a relationship. But I also don't think it's remotely as evil as people make it out to be. All of this said, cheating is definitely something people should have hard, honest conversations about going into a long-term, committed partnership. I think some people believe the very act of even *talking* about the possibility of cheating suggests someone doesn't have "integrity", but I actually think it's good to talk about these things and to be clear about boundaries. Some people would dump a partner of 20 years if the other person so much as kissed someone. Other people wouldn't. Everyone has different boundaries.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:21
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I've known some folks who have cheated, but the were in really lovely abusive relationships they didn't feel safe escaping. I can't fault people in that sort of situation.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:24
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I used to know folks who cheated on spouses deployed to Iraq. Is this praxis?
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Jan 27, 2022 18:26
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I also think the details matter. loving multiple people behind your partner's back and lying to them for years? Absolute deal breaker. Having too many drinks and copping a (consensual) feel of someone's boob at a wild party and then telling on yourself the next morning? Not a dealbreaker (to me). Some people think masturbating is cheating and I'm sure most people in this thread would agree that's loving absurd. But to the person who genuinely believes it's cheating, it's not absurd. Same with porn, etc.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:26
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OhAreThey posted:Having too many drinks and copping a (consensual) feel of someone's boob at a wild party and then telling on yourself the next morning? Not a dealbreaker (to me). In this case, this falls into the realm of you don't confess. If you truly made a simple mistake and never crossed the line into full blown cheating, and have no intent to repeat the behavior, you loving keep it to yourself and deal with the guilt. Confessing that is just offloading the anxiety and stress onto your partner and telling them to deal with it and forgive you.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:33
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If you are in a relationship you are already cheating on your true life partner Rosy Palms.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:34
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Soylent Pudding posted:I used to know folks who cheated on spouses deployed to Iraq. Is this praxis? I feel a twinge of...pity mixed with contempt? at the guy who apparently carried on a years-long affair because he was too ashamed to tell his wife about his kinks. It's probably something really lame.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:34
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OhAreThey posted:Some people think masturbating is cheating and I'm sure most people in this thread would agree that's loving absurd. But to the person who genuinely believes it's cheating, it's not absurd. Same with porn, etc. My partner once asked me what do I think of when I masturbate, I told them my fantasy involving a celebrity. They didn't get mad but instead got incredibly sad and said I might as well cheat if I can already think of having sex with someone other than them.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:34
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WoodrowSkillson posted:In this case, this falls into the realm of you don't confess. If you truly made a simple mistake and never crossed the line into full blown cheating, and have no intent to repeat the behavior, you loving keep it to yourself and deal with the guilt. Confessing that is just offloading the anxiety and stress onto your partner and telling them to deal with it and forgive you. This actual situation happened to me (I was the "cheated upon" person) and my partner confessed...and I told him that I really respected him for telling me, and immediately forgave him. But that was also when I started to realize I don't feel a lot of sexual jealousy, so your mileage may vary. I think it's important to know whether your partner would appreciate being told more than not.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:37
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I'm staying single.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:38
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OhAreThey posted:behind your partner's back and lying to them for years? It's this past that i find morally repugnant. Cheating can happen, humans are imperfect emotional brings that love to consume mind altering substances, but own up to your fuckup and dont deny your partner the respect to make their own choice based on your actions.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:41
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Long-Time Lurker posted:My partner once asked me what do I think of when I masturbate, I told them my fantasy involving a celebrity. They didn't get mad but instead got incredibly sad and said I might as well cheat if I can already think of having sex with someone other than them. Yeah, this genuinely nuts to me. I think this is what happens when we fetishize ONLY being attracted to your partner forever and ever amen.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:41
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Cerepol posted:It's this past that i find morally repugnant. Cheating can happen, humans are imperfect emotional brings that love to consume mind altering substances, but own up to your fuckup and dont deny your partner the respect to make their own choice based on your actions. I agree with you there. Being lied to and/or gaslit would be a deal breaker to me, regardless whether it's about cheating or something else.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:42
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Neito posted:When I worked at the helpdesk at my college during my degree, I regularly had to help a "Dr. Dragon", and we all agreed that names don't get cooler than that. A company I worked out once had someone in the org whose last name was Warrior.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:46
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jazzyhattrick posted:Is it really so hard to just not gently caress somebody else? Like if you love your partner and don't want to hurt them, can't you just gently caress them instead of some random skank/fuckboi? listen, he had a kink,
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Jan 27, 2022 18:47
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Cthulu Carl posted:A company I worked out once had someone in the org whose last name was Warrior. First name Ultimate? Did you work for the WWF?
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Jan 27, 2022 18:51
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Cheaters I've known: -Happy couple, both successful academics. Picture perfect Instagram couple who loved to travel together. Eventually had a baby. Turns out the dude was loving a german academic in his field every time he traveled. Had a whole secret 2nd life where he'd meet up with her. He instantly turned the whole thing around on her saying it was just so gosh darn hard since they had the baby and the sense of *adventure* in the relationship had diminished. It also turned out like half his trips abroad were not even conferences, they were just gently caress sessions with his mistress which left his wife home alone with the baby for weeks at a time. Also he had spent all their money on international travel and luxury accommodations for his affair trips. most of their lovely friend group sided with him saying she just didn't understand what it was like being a successful academic forced to travel a lot. -Dude who married a fairly chill seeming lady who either hid or later developed severe mental illness after having a kid. Refused to get any treatment, became an abusive and terrifying presence. Dude's can't be victims of abuse and he had a kid with her (which she always used as leverage, saying she's report him for abuse and make sure he never saw their kid again) so he felt locked in and forced to make it work. An emotional affair at his work turned into a full on affair, but his affair partner was a huge positive influence in his life and a constant sanity check against his abusive wife's gaslighting and general fuckery. Affair partner set him up with a good divorce lawyer, therapy, and helped him out of his relationship and with sole custody of his daughter. They now are married and have a kid together along with her kid from a previous marriage and seem to be doing super well. -A friend of mine who went on a few casual dates with upfront clarity that this was a non-exclusive hookup sort of situation. Unknown to my friend, this lady was married with a kid and for her this was an exciting life-changing affair. She declared my friend her soulmate and that she "agreed" to run away from her stifling marriage and motherhood to be with him as was clearly his offer and intent by hooking up a few times. Lost her mind and became an on and off again stalker for a good number of years when he said no thanks and didn't want anything more to do with her. Her husband got involved too and of course put all the blame on this seductive cad that seduced and used his wife. Every time she'd go through a month of obsessively trying to contact my friend her husband would then contact him after to threaten him and demand he stop contact with his wife, just an insane situation.
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Jan 27, 2022 18:51
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Soylent Pudding posted:I used to know folks who cheated on spouses deployed to Iraq. Is this praxis? It's worth getting them the bumper sticker, at the very least  My (30F) Fiancé (33M) started withholding affection to get sex and wants me to leave him if he becomes bedridden, and said he’ll do the same with me. Wedding is in June. Should I cancel? quote:Me and my partner has been together for 5 years. He is very affectionate, loving, gentle person although at some point of our relationship he started withholding affection to me when he doesn’t get any sex. I work in IT industry and the stress and workload really had me exhausted that when I get home I’m not really into the mood for sex. It happened for months although we still have sex, just not as much as he needs. Imagine that I spammed  500 times
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Jan 27, 2022 18:57
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Ah, New Gingrich
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Jan 27, 2022 18:59
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Ghost Leviathan posted:They wonder why nobody wants to go to church once they stop being physically forced to when they spent a century turning it into the most agonizingly boring and tedious thing imaginable. Well then, that got me to dredge up this. The 1969 Easter Mass Incident quote:When my dad was a young man and still a practicing catholic, he participated in a small church communion that nearly got him and six other people excommunicated.
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Jan 27, 2022 19:01
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RenegadeStyle1 posted:I can get behind the picking a new name but I've looked into changing names before for someone else and I feel that it'd be an insane amount of money to both change your names for something pretty inconsequential. Curious what country this is and what the rates are because my name change was under two hundy Canadian, a perfectly sane amount of money to avoid getting hassled at the airport.
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Jan 27, 2022 19:08
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Quackles posted:Well then, that got me to dredge up this. 
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Jan 27, 2022 19:23
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DemoneeHo posted:My (30F) Fiancé (33M) started withholding affection to get sex and wants me to leave him if he becomes bedridden, and said he’ll do the same with me. Wedding is in June. Should I cancel? Jesus Christ It's probably good for this guy to be aware how central sex is to his life It would probably also be good to not get married and make someone else's life miserable over his sexual needs, instead of just engaging in mutually sexual relationships.
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Jan 27, 2022 19:24
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Everyone remember beloved? rear end in a top hat spouse cheats on wife with a poly couple, kicks wife out, moves couple in, commits suicide and poly couple insist the house is theirs because wife left the house? Smirking_Serpent posted:Title: Navigating Estates, Tenancy, Discrimination, and Grief in North Carolina. [NC, Landlord/Tenant, Estates, Discrimination] [TW: Suicide] Well someone strung together some other posts that may be from the wife or the whole thing may be one handed typing either way it's amusing. Helped my wife transition and now she calls me "some d*ke" and files for divorce quote:I never imagined I would end up married to a woman. When I met the person who is now my wife (who I am going to call Paula because that is not and has never been her real name), she was a man (who I am going to call Paul for the same reasons). Two years into dating, Paul told me he was bi. Two years after we were married, Paul came out as trans and chose the name Paula for herself. I finally have my house back, but my life will never be back to normal. quote:Eight-and-a-half months ago, my wife sent one of the men she’d been cheating on me with to my job with an illegal divorce decree to sign. That same night, the rest of her harem threw me out of my house and moved themselves in. Even if it is fake it's an interesting weird story.
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Jan 27, 2022 19:33
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I think that when they have sex bots for sale and in common use there is going to be a lot of really lovely people removed from the dating pool.
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Jan 27, 2022 19:38
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Hughlander posted:Even if it is fake it's an interesting weird story.
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Jan 27, 2022 19:44
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Hughlander posted:Even if it is fake it's an interesting weird story. Is it really cause it kind of just seems like another boring trans scare story.
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Jan 27, 2022 19:45
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Quackles posted:Well then, that got me to dredge up this. Jesus Christ
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Jan 27, 2022 19:47
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Charles Get-Out posted:Is it really cause it kind of just seems like another boring trans scare story.
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Jan 27, 2022 19:48
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Charles Get-Out posted:Is it really cause it kind of just seems like another boring trans scare story. No I'm willing to believe literally everyone she knew was first virulently transphobic and then, just afterwards, again everyone she knew would call her transphobic at the drop of a hat That in no way strikes me as inconsistent and invented
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Jan 27, 2022 19:50
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Xachariah posted:First name Ultimate? Did you work for the WWF? Looking through my current ticket queue, I see a Biggerstaff, a  Schlick, and a Mr. Hands.
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Jan 27, 2022 19:50
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