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Outrail posted:These idiot villain bosses are getting to your head. Can we just sell fentanyl like every other criminal underworld? Can I get a special gun that shoots fentanyl patches instead of bullets?
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Jan 28, 2022 00:51
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Xenocides posted:I think I am going to go work for a Captain Planet villain and just dump toxic waste in the river or something. Get outta here with that stuff, can't you see where dumping clown gas down here? Beat it!
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Jan 28, 2022 01:04
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Ayyo, I’m moving clown gas ovah here!
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Jan 28, 2022 01:16
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Admiralty Flag posted:Can I get a special gun that shoots fentanyl patches instead of bullets? Okay but let everyone else have a go
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Jan 28, 2022 01:21
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Outrail posted:These idiot villain bosses are getting to your head. Can we just sell fentanyl like every other criminal underworld? Dude just do coke with Snowflame
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Jan 28, 2022 01:25
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*takes a huff of clown gas* Ehh?
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Jan 28, 2022 01:26
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I just got the results back from the lab and it's not looking good guys. There's not a trace of clown in any of it.
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Jan 28, 2022 01:35
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hey look don't go telling everyone but on that last heist, yeah the one where we were holed up in that creepy old abandoned mansion, I went back after the heist and looked around and there was a, I dunno what you call it, a portal in the attic. looked like you'd expect a portal to look, like a mirror but three dimensional on the other side all surrounded by a flowing halo of purple plasma. anyways I went in the portal and checked it out some. it's a lot like here except over there batman is the villain and the freaks and psychos we been working for are the justice league. turns out the blue beetle and booster gold over there run a software piracy ring, they offered me a job cracking and distributing warez. I don't know what that is but they said it's pretty easy to figure out, there's no driving and no fighting, the "suppliers" do that and there's no goddamn clown gas. look, I'm moving me and my family over there tonight, a couple of the other guys are gonna come over too after they get their affairs in order. maybe think about checking it out, it's a better world over there. just make sure that our rear end in a top hat boss kite-man doesn't get wind of it. we don't need him blowing in and lifting a good thing out from under us
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Jan 28, 2022 02:09
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The Voice of Labor posted:hey look don't go telling everyone but on that last heist, yeah the one where we were holed up in that creepy old abandoned mansion, I went back after the heist and looked around and there was a, I dunno what you call it, a portal in the attic. looked like you'd expect a portal to look, like a mirror but three dimensional on the other side all surrounded by a flowing halo of purple plasma. anyways I went in the portal and checked it out some. it's a lot like here except over there batman is the villain and the freaks and psychos we been working for are the justice league. turns out the blue beetle and booster gold over there run a software piracy ring, they offered me a job cracking and distributing warez. I don't know what that is but they said it's pretty easy to figure out, there's no driving and no fighting, the "suppliers" do that and there's no goddamn clown gas *cuts you off immediately * Pass
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Jan 28, 2022 02:21
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I was doing some math, and it seems like 60% of Gotham city are criminals? Why don't we all just vote for laws that allow dressing like zoo animals and breaking into museums?
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Jan 28, 2022 03:27
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If we vote to decriminalize clown gas, we won't have to wake up in the middle of the night to sneak it around the city!
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Jan 28, 2022 03:32
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Is it weird that Batman's been patrolling Chinatown like, all the time since that League of Assassins bombing?
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Jan 28, 2022 04:13
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Look, I don't know why yous guys are having such a hard time with this, but I made up a little saying to help you out, okay? "If the bat on her boobs is yellah', you've got Batgirl there, fellah. If the bat on her boobs is red, that's Batwoman stompin yer head."
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Jan 28, 2022 04:15
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PD808 posted:If we vote to decriminalize clown gas, we won't have to wake up in the middle of the night to sneak it around the city! Plus the only thing that can stop bad guys with clown gas is good guys with clown gas so we gotta keep it out of the hands of our enemies. Oh, and I guess the bat stops us too sometimes.
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Jan 28, 2022 04:15
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Moon Slayer posted:Look, I don't know why yous guys are having such a hard time with this, but I made up a little saying to help you out, okay? I've found any combination of skintight animal themed costume in any color means a solid rear end kicking.
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Jan 28, 2022 04:20
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*gets a concussion while watching joe rogan clips on phone w/volume at max*
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Jan 28, 2022 04:29
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Hey, hey, hey. I know this is gonna sound crazy but hear me out on this one: Clown. Liquid Eh? What ya think?
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Jan 28, 2022 06:46
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This is bullshit. So I took this job for Joker right (I know, the guy's nuts, but I needed the money)? And he has me and the boys go steal a bunch of clown gas. Larry drops a canister 'cause he's got a bad back since loving Nightwing broke his spine with a jump-kick right? Well the gas starts leaking a little and we're all thinking that we're about to be laughing our asses off (like a little bit of that poo poo gets you HIGH, but you gotta be careful), but then everyone starts FREAKING OUT. so we're all running and screaming and poo poo and I swear to GOD, like, a MILLION loving BEES came pouring out of everywhere, and I'm loving terrified of bees, so I bounce out of there QUICK. I run into an alley and I think I lost the bees? Anyway I went back to tell Joker what happened and he's just starts laughing at me! I guess this was supposed to be some big prank on a scarecrow to like, get him to like, fight Batman? I dunno. I thought he was going to beat the poo poo outta me, but he said "a punchline's only funny when you don't see it coming". And then he just, fired me. loving Bullshit.
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Jan 28, 2022 06:59
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youse guys remember the time that stooly hank tipped us off that the penguins gang was gonna steal a fab-re-jay egg from that gallery down on 53rd? we got an archlight from the abandoned theater and had chop shop pops cut a bat shaped piece of metal then weld it onto the archlight. we put our fake bat signal up right over the gallery, looked just like a map marker in some kinda video game. then we went and pillaged rum and serving wenches from the safeway while batman was busy with penguins guys
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Jan 28, 2022 07:07
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Moon Slayer posted:Look, I don't know why yous guys are having such a hard time with this, but I made up a little saying to help you out, okay? so uh. What days do the girl batmen work? Do they stomp on your crotch and verbally berate you and tie you up? Sure would hate to be working a shift then. C'mon what day was it?
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Jan 28, 2022 07:08
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Sourdough Sam posted:so uh. What days do the girl batmen work? Do they stomp on your crotch and verbally berate you and tie you up? Sure would hate to be working a shift then. C'mon what day was it? You want it that bad, just go work for Cheetah or Maxwell Lord, or any guy looking Greek enough that ain't Maxie Zeus. poisonpill posted:Hey, hey, hey. I know this is gonna sound crazy but hear me out on this one: Do the ICP count as supervillains?
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Jan 28, 2022 07:39
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Moon Slayer posted:Look, I don't know why yous guys are having such a hard time with this, but I made up a little saying to help you out, okay? I mean she ain't actually that bad, she seems to mostly do ninja pressure-point poo poo rather than putting you in traction. At least if you're just a hench and you don't kill nobody, she don't like that. And that one who wears purple might hit you with one of them sticks, but she usually hits you with them gunk-batarangs. Which stains your clothes like hell, but it's better than the pointy ones The Bat uses.
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Jan 28, 2022 09:22
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Well, I found out I'm impotent thanks to all the ambient radiation this Dr. Phosphorous rear end in a top hat gives off. First of all, I'm suing his glowing skeleton rear end. Second of all, how the gently caress is a guy named Dr. PHOSPHOROUS when he's a radioactive guy? Call yourself Dr. Radioactive or, in my case, Dr. Dick Killer. Because that's false advertising and I was NOT made aware of the risks of henching for this piece of poo poo.
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Jan 28, 2022 16:49
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So I always kept my nose clean. Wasn't no snitch (hey, my best friend growing up? He paid for his college by part-time henching wit' the Penguin), but I just wanted a clean, honest job. My ma raised me that way. So anyway, one day I'm over at Ace Chemical Factory, and we're moving those big, what you call them, gas canisters? About as tall as my kid, but skinny things. You can get a few of them on the dolly. Flammable, they tells me this is that "hydro-gen" stuff, so don't nobody smoke near it. OK, fine. It's almost midnight, we've been loading the truck up with this stuff for almost ten hours now. No problem, thinks I, anyway, that overtime pay is sweet. I'm already thinking about the steaks I'll be cooking up Saturday, teach the boy how to sear them just right.... ...All of the sudden, out of freakin' NOWHERE, this twelve year old punk runs up on me and bashes my knee in with a metal bar! I mean, this think caves in backward. I go down hard, and as I hit the ground, I see he's wearing like yellow tights and a red shirt? He's like, dancing around from man to man, just whacking them with dat metal pipe. And we and just dropping like flies, I tell you. I mean, we're just some teamsters, and all of the sudden we got this judo crap, and then he just, like, maybe it was the pain talking, but like shoots a rope up to the roof of the warehouse and basically just flies away. So we're in pain, we're all rolling around on the ground like a bunch of jamocas. A few days later, I'm laid up in the hospital, you know, I'm stressed, I'm worried about how I'm supposed to pay this bill. I mean, forget about moving cargo anymore, even if I can; my knee is busted and I mean good. Anyway, in comes Bruce -freakin'- Wayne. Into MY hospital room. This cat is cool as a cucumber, and he just sits down next to the bed. He says to me, look, don't worry about the bill, we've already paid the whole t'ing. And once you're better, you just come down to Wayne Tower and we've got a nice, sweet little job all lined up for you's. Now mind you, I never met this guy before, and he don't know me from Adam! Just heard about our trouble, he says, and wants to help out. I tell you, the man is a saint. He did say something strange though, as he was leaving. He said something like, "You know, those hydrogen tanks sure can look like Joker Gas tanks in the dark. Really, anyone could have made that mistake." Still not sure what he meant.
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Jan 28, 2022 17:05
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 If anybody ever asks how I paid for law school I'm just going to tell them I was a stripper.
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Jan 28, 2022 18:41
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After Riddler went back to Arkham again, I started looking for another henching job to make ends meet until he breaks out again. Did a little searching online, and I found a really sweet opportunity, but after I signed up I learned that it was NOT what I was expecting. Did you guys know Darkseid hires henchmen, and he does it through Craig's List? Anyway, if you have some way to not be on Earth next Tuesday, I'd get the hell outta here if I was you.
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Jan 28, 2022 18:53
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poisonpill posted:Hey, hey, hey. I know this is gonna sound crazy but hear me out on this one: Stop shoehorning your piss fetish into everything and become your own villian already. Also why the hell is anyone producing clown gas? Nobody is ordering it, nobody wants it. I looked it up and there's three companies producing it in Gotham and there's zero buyers or legitimate uses for the stuff. Two of the companies have military contracts. Does this not smell bad to anyone?
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Jan 28, 2022 19:17
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Outrail posted:Stop shoehorning your piss fetish into everything and become your own villian already. dude if you think about it, aren't we all our own worst villains?
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Jan 28, 2022 19:59
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PD808 posted:Madoff didn't get caught by "the world's greatest detective," it was the IRS or something, and it took them like 20 years. Sad fact: the SEC never caught him and never would have caught him, despite a whistleblower trying for eight years to warn them. Madoff turned himself in. On topic: "Eh, youze guys eva notice how's you never seen Superman and Bruce Wayne in da same places? Think abouts it." Mister Facetious fucked around with this message at 21:21 on Jan 28, 2022 |
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Jan 28, 2022 21:09
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Tunicate posted:dude if you think about it, No, Calendar Man will always be the worst villain.
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Jan 28, 2022 21:19
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Condiment King tho
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Jan 28, 2022 21:38
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Kaiser Mazoku posted:Condiment King tho Bet he relishes the thought of giving Batman the mustard
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Jan 28, 2022 22:29
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Soon he will hoisin himself up to a level with the other villains and ketchup to the Joker. Then he will celebrate with salsa dancing.
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Jan 28, 2022 23:11
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boss where's my T4 slip, I'm due a big refund this year and I wanna get it in early.
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Jan 28, 2022 23:11
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SRQ posted:boss where's my T4 slip, I'm due a big refund this year and I wanna get it in early. *flips a coin*
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Jan 28, 2022 23:20
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*looks at coin* Yeah, here ya go. And I'm giving you a bonus for all your good work.
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Jan 28, 2022 23:20
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Mister Facetious posted:Sad fact: the SEC never caught him and never would have caught him, despite a whistleblower trying for eight years to warn them. More specifically, nobody would have realized that their money was gone if it weren't for the 2008 market crash. Madoff had enough cash set aside to issue the occasional redemption payment, but then his investors asked for their money back all at once and whoops the money's not there.
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Jan 29, 2022 00:08
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Yeah, you hear about Billy? Yeah. he's laid up in the hospital, full body cast, real shame. Nah, the Bat didn't do it. No, not the kid either. See, with the Boss in Arkham, Harley thought it'd be a swell fuckin idea to bring in Poison Ivy and run a few jobs to bring in some cash. We was kinda low on funds and it seemed like a good idea because Ivy usually runs low profile jobs. Sure, the money's not as good as a bank heist, but Ivy usually aint care about anything other than whatever research chemical or doo-dad she was there to get, so we can usually pocket a few expensive looking things on top of the good money she pays. Well Billy was all excited because he heard she can talk to plants. So he brought his beloved fuckin' Bon-Zai tree to the meetup. Wanted to know what it had to say. Well turns out yer Bon-ZAI plants don't fuckin LIKE being constantly clipped and trimmed like that. Apparently it's like starvin a kid and breaking his legs so he never gets big. So Ivy gets real mad, and just starts beating the poo poo out of Billy. Then she turns the Bonsai into some god-drat little tree monster, and it just starts goin to town on Billy while Ivy held him down. I thought the poor kid was gonna die right then and there. Harley eventually talks Ivy down, and Bones and Blackjack ended up taking Billy to Wayne Memorial. A couple of the newer guys still wanted to go through with the job, but Ivy was still pretty steamed, so in the end she and Harley hosed off to do the job by themselves and so nobody got paid. ...you know if Bane's hiring?
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Jan 29, 2022 00:10
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What happened to the bonsai monster?
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Jan 29, 2022 00:46
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Outrail posted:What happened to the bonsai monster? I think it goes after that tree murderer Daniel LaRusso in the next season of Cobra Kai.
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Jan 29, 2022 00:56
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