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So I was told to clean up the place by Harley, so that it was respectable for her 'Mr J'. Better than standing guard outside, I took a brush and started clearing and tidying up the place. When I got to the couch though, there were some deep stubborn stains. Green they were. I thought it was silly string or flem or something. But no, its jizz. Even his jizz is green!
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Jan 31, 2022 02:14
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FoolyCharged posted:Get a metal set and run around biting people with it. You can call yourself mandibles or sometin' Croc and the white shark are NOT gonna like dat!
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Jan 31, 2022 02:15
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Admiralty Flag posted:I am sickened by the heinous crimes I've committed, even though I was forced into them by my family being threatened by the Penguin's goons. Now that they're all dead because of a Joker gas attack, I can dedicate myself to the cause of vigilante justice, inspired by the Darknight Detective himself! I'll embrace nonlethal means and cerebral investigative work, with an eye toward collecting untainted evidence that can be used by the justice system to send irredeemable crooks away on solid cases while trying to rehabilitate those who haven't been lost for good. This is how I'll balance the scales of justice for the wrongs I've done, even under terrible duress! Nah da Bat loves it when someone is inspired to go vigilante. There's some kid, calls himself Clown Killer who just straight up murders anybody henching for Joker? Swear ta Christ, he had some kind of hosed up baseball bat all covered in blood, barbed wire, teeth, and with a batarang driven through it he was using to kill us. Last thing I see is Batman's fist in my face. So I wake up tied to a lamppost, the usual. I don't see the kid there, and I've never seen Crazy Carl again.
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Jan 31, 2022 04:39
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Brazilianpeanutwar posted:I bet this “justice league saves the planet” crap is just an excuse for them to go and have big expensive orgies on an island somewhere. lol look at this new fish, never had to shift kryptonite or deal with any of the really weird villains wait until you fight your first alternate universe doppelganger before you call the justice league bullshit buddy
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Jan 31, 2022 04:58
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Yeh so aaaaah this is awkward but youse guys the boss, I mean bless his hawrt, he sorta noticed I was showin up to heists a bit late and hungover all the time. Instead of killing me he referred me to dis real great clinic that treats my drinkin but also my emotional problems dat are at da core of my drinkin, ya know? I dunno guys I guess I'm sayin' I'll miss ya's but I-I'll be back to robbin' and murderin' again good as new. Betta, even! I love youse guys. *walks away and falls down open manhole*
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Jan 31, 2022 16:51
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Eh yous guys come gets a look at dis. I gots me one'a dem laser guns what they're always usin' over tha rivah ins Metropolis, stolen right from da Star Labs! Yeah it don't works too good on no Supahmens but it'll put a pretty hole in ol' batsy I tells ya! *gun is a glorified laser pointer boondoggle to score MIC contracts*
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Jan 31, 2022 17:07
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Yep, I signed on to a regular rear end gang. We just sell heroin and cocaine, like normal rear end people. Yeah. No makeup. No question marks. No tuxedos split down the middle. No loving cat ears. Just drugs, girls, and money, man.
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Jan 31, 2022 17:37
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I'm starting to question this lifestyle. I spend more on laundry for my costumes than I do rent.
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Jan 31, 2022 18:06
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Yvershek posted:I'm starting to question this lifestyle. I spend more on laundry for my costumes than I do rent. You can't expense that? Sheeeeeiiiittt
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Jan 31, 2022 18:26
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I mean, you can, but you know what the Joker did to the last guy who put in a voucher without a valid receipt?
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Jan 31, 2022 18:36
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Im the guy that sharpens the skates for mrfreezes hockey team fighter guys Another day another dollar
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Jan 31, 2022 19:23
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Outrail posted:Don't think the union will let us work with biohazard-themed villains. Batman is scary and all that but I ain't loving around with OSHA. Ay, da OSHA inspector wants to know where we keep da MSDS forms for da clown gas! Edit: In the hyena room? Aw geeze, health and safety ain't gonna like hearin' dat! Luxrage fucked around with this message at 20:44 on Jan 31, 2022 |
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Jan 31, 2022 20:37
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Luxrage posted:Ay, da OSHA inspector wants to know where we keep da MSDS forms for da clown gas! No but the hyena's will love dem herain' 'but it!
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Jan 31, 2022 20:46
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SpiritOfLenin posted:Batman took my last original tooth out last night when he punched me out. Yeah, broken eye socket and sprained wrist for me. I wish there was a better way to pay off my wife's cancer treatment, but it is what it is. When bats comes back around this time I'm gonna try kicking 'im rather than risk a full break in my wrist. I hope he don't go for low blows, though.
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Jan 31, 2022 20:52
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funeral home DJ posted:Yeah, broken eye socket and sprained wrist for me. I wish there was a better way to pay off my wife's cancer treatment, but it is what it is. I keep a pair of handcuffs in my jacket. The second I see a shadow pass over the alleyway or someone don't come back from 'just checking out the sound' I'm on the ground and cuffed. Saves everyone time and bruised knuckles.
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Jan 31, 2022 20:57
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Outrail posted:You can't expense that? Sheeeeeiiiittt No kidding. Turns out it's difficult to find a place that will look the other way to our profession. All the blood and alleyway filth are a dead giveaway. The places that don't care know they got you and will charge through the nose.
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Jan 31, 2022 21:38
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What, you mean all dat Clown Gas I got wasn't covered on our HSA? Ah jeeze da tax man's gonna do more to me than da bat ever could dis year.
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Jan 31, 2022 23:45
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Luxrage posted:What, you mean all dat Clown Gas I got wasn't covered on our HSA? Ah jeeze da tax man's gonna do more to me than da bat ever could dis year. *leans in close* Call it a business expense, pal.
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Jan 31, 2022 23:47
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It’s da freakin’ bat!!!
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Jan 31, 2022 23:48
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ikanreed posted:Yep, I signed on to a regular rear end gang. We just sell heroin and cocaine, like normal rear end people. Yeah that sounds good and all until you're doing 40-life in a supermax or get shot by a cop or skinhead biker muscling in on your territory. As for me? I'm basically immune to prosecution. Say Batman ties me up and leaves me hanging from a streetlight near the police department. They don't have gently caress all for evidence that I did nothin. They'll get a ladder and get me down, and I'm free to move on with my day. Batman gets involved in a case the police are already on? Now all that evidence is tainted as hell. Why do you think they haven't given the Joker the chair yet? Quantum of Phallus posted:It’s da freakin’ bat!!! Oh no, I am too cowardly and/or superstitious to deal with this. Aaaaaahhhhhh.
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Feb 1, 2022 00:30
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been tryin' to have a meeting with the riddler does anyone know what a kingfisher is and where they meet when "it's time to go to the dentist"??
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Feb 1, 2022 00:38
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Deki posted:Yeah that sounds good and all until you're doing 40-life in a supermax or get shot by a cop or skinhead biker muscling in on your territory. Snowflame is who you wanna go with in this town. Sure he gets high on his own supply daily but he pays well and being the coke hookup for all the entertainers in gotham gets you free tickets. They arent great seats but you should expect coke to give you some nosebleeds.
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Feb 1, 2022 01:23
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I am fearful and superstitious.
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Feb 1, 2022 01:27
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poisonpill posted:I am fearful and superstitious. You an me both. But all dis clown gas ain't gonna get into da water supply by itself. Boss'll get angry if we start slackin. Last load is in the shadowy corner of the warehouse. C'mon.
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Feb 1, 2022 13:38
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No, not dat one. Dis un over ere with da bat innit. ...!
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Feb 1, 2022 16:58
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Hey youse guys, how comes da bat an... you know what? gently caress it! Im not going to do the voice anymore. Im not even from Brooklyn for christs sake! I know, i know, we all signed the contract and the union rep was clear that the voice was part of the job but i cant help but feel that it perpetuates a negative stereotype. Joey, you've got a doctorate in literature and linguistics for crying out loud, you know its not "youse". I will voice my concern at the next Henchmen and Goons union meeting, it is time to make a sweeping change!
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Feb 1, 2022 17:00
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I put in a resume with, get this, the Justice League... Great pay, benefits, no long nights lurking in alleys or moving clown gas in the rain during winter. I guess even the goodie-goods need henches to run their massive Hall and Space Station. I've got the work history, no doubt there. The only gotcha is the references, I can't exactly give out Bane, Joker and Ras' phone numbers or expect a good reference without threats upon my life. Maybe next time we're raiding the Hall of Justice I can leave my resume with one of the B-team heros like Black Canary or something. Harley says I should pin it to the knocked out guards, like Mr. J does with joker playing cards... Not so sure that's a great way to network.
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Feb 1, 2022 19:51
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Slayerjerman posted:I put in a resume with, get this, the Justice League... Great pay, benefits, no long nights lurking in alleys or moving clown gas in the rain during winter. Just say you were henching for the Riddler during that stint when he was consulting with the GCPD. Of course, make sure you say you left that position before he started murdering people again.
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Feb 1, 2022 20:28
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And before then, you were working for Red Hood. Ain't no way to check them references!
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Feb 1, 2022 20:42
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Oh man, the Riddler? I got stories about that guy. Ya know all those rumors about Harley and Ivy? Hoo hoo. Yeah. Something like that. Well let's just say that I was doing a gig for Mister Dent a while back, and he teamed up with the Riddler to get some weird TV helmet gizmo out in the market, right? 3D hallucinations right in the brain or something. Easy job, on the up and up even. Well, they built a joint lair for this venture, started moving in together, and man oh man. Those two started acting really funny from day one, if you catch my drift. Like they was on the clown gas together or somethin. I ain't gonna judge, they had good chemistry and seemed real happy, but it was so open that the workplace was just getting awkward. Riddler was always wearing tight spandex with a little codpiece or something. Just teasing the hell out of Mr. Dent. He'd fly off the rails, but then when he settled down they couldn't stop touching each other and laughing. Those two got stuff done. But that partnership was just toxic if you ask me. Anyhow now I just patrol these docks and move the clown gas around. Don't have to deal with nobody's toxic relationships down here. An if you ask me, it's better pay.
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Feb 1, 2022 20:51
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Word of advice: if you ever kill a cop, make sure you blame the Punisher. He's from outta town so nobody can call him up direct, but he kills corrupt cops and all the Gotham cops are corrupt so who can say who really killed a copper with 50 bullet holes in him?
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Feb 1, 2022 20:52
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I've been stealing clown gas. At first it was just a laugh but I'm up to a tank a week and I can't stop. If the Joker catches me I'm doomed. e: I'm basically Bane except instead of getting really strong I giggle in a beanbag and poo poo myself. Outrail fucked around with this message at 21:12 on Feb 1, 2022 |
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Feb 1, 2022 21:08
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A lotta people been talkin' lately about how da Batman won't go down on Catwoman. Da boss sez it's because batface got other things on his mind, iykwim. 
BigBadSteve fucked around with this message at 09:54 on Feb 2, 2022 |
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Feb 2, 2022 09:52
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Ah geez that poor kid. I gotta speak to Abi, there's gotta be something she can do to get him out of that creepy cave. We all had it tough comin' up but it ain't right comin' up like that. That poor kid.
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Feb 2, 2022 10:04
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Backweb posted:Oh man, the Riddler? I got stories about that guy. Ya know all those rumors about Harley and Ivy? Hoo hoo. Yeah. Something like that. The good ol’ days when gangs wore neon facepaint and two sided balaclava gimp masks.
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Feb 2, 2022 12:36
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Eh, Tony, I just figured it out. He's called Razz Al Ghoul 'cause he comes back from the dead like a ghoul! What? ''Raysh?' Dats how it's pronounced? gently caress outta heah!
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Feb 2, 2022 14:23
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Who What Now posted:Eh, Tony, I just figured it out. He's called Razz Al Ghoul 'cause he comes back from the dead like a ghoul! What? ''Raysh?' Dats how it's pronounced? gently caress outta heah! Waitaminute i’ve been calling him crandel the entire time,i’ve been makin’ an idiot outta myself!
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Feb 2, 2022 23:10
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Jesus Christ did I pick the wrong day to start henching for Twoface
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Feb 3, 2022 00:13
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Anyone ever tried getting twoface offa da coin thing? Like maybe get him onto dice? Or multiple choice stuff? I swear he mentioned it a few years back but it nevah stuck.
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Feb 3, 2022 00:17
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One of the smart guys told him about computers and binary and now he's signed up to one of those adult learning classes at the community college
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Feb 3, 2022 00:19
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