quote:

I (25F) and my husband (28M) have been married for 1 year now and have a two year old daughter. My mother-in-law always called us sinful for having a child before marriage, despite the fact we were engaged when we conceived her. She was conceived a few weeks after my husband’s proposal. So we had to push the wedding a little bit back, which ended up being on my mother-in-laws birthday party, causing her to cancel her plans for the wedding. She has hated me and my daughter ever since, it’s ridiculous. A month ago, my husband was invited on a trip to Barbados by his mother and the rest of his family. It was a family trip. I was thrilled to go with my him and bring my daughter along with us. That is, until he broke to news that I would not be able to attend because of the issue with my mother-in-law prior. I thought that was water under the bridge, at this point. I found out that his sisters’ husbands and kids were allowed to go, though. I pretended I didn’t care. “Yeah, I can stay home and watch our daughter all alone while you party in the Caribbeans.” I said to him 2 days before he was to leave. When I went to drop him off at the airport, I saw my mother-in-law and the rest of the family gathered around. I decided to go say Hey, and I took my daughter with my when I left to car. When I announced myself, my mother-in-law had the nerve to say, and very loudly, “Look, it’s the bastard child and her greedy mother.” I was shocked, and pissed. I said, “Well, we’re married now. I won’t allow you to invalidate my relationship and my child any longer.” She was visibly mad, and the family started to talk. After that I just left and kissed my husband goodbye. A week into the trip he called my and said I ruined the trip, his mother was crying and mad at him and that it’s all they are all thinking about. So, AITA for ruining a good family trip over little insult?

quote:

When your husband flies back in, go to the airport, drive to drop off and pick up, wave at him with a smile, and dump all his poo poo out onto the sidewalk and you and your baby drive off for your new, better life.

quote:

A reader writes:

This is a situation currently unfolding at my husband’s office so I’m a very amused bystander and thought I’d get your opinion on this craziness.

My husband works in IT and is on the leadership team at a midsized private company. He was part of a panel that recently interviewed a number of folks for an open position on his team. They are entirely remote. They had a few candidates for a first and second round, and had one make it to a third final round before an offer. “John” accepted the offer and started last week!

Except … it’s not the John my husband remembers. My husband was confused and said the following things were odd:

– John has different hair and now wears glasses.

– John is talking extensively about working in a garage because his three children and wife are home. In the interview, he made references to being single and was visibly in an indoor desk area.

– John can’t answer a number of questions that they previously discussed in the interview, things pretty pivotal to the position.

– Husband describes John as being aloof and pretty timid whereas John was confident and articulate when they interviewed him.

He is convinced this is not the person they hired. I agreed that all those things taken together make this very odd but each one could have a valid explanation. I told him the most likely explanation is the hiring committee simply mixed up the candidates (or HR did) and the wrong John was offered and accepted. He agreed but said since only one candidate made it to the third round, that is really unlikely (other candidates had already been sent rejections before the third round even occurred). He’s confident they couldn’t have been mixed up.

All of this is a bit moot as my husband is in his notice period and will be moving to a new company in a few weeks … but he feels like he is going crazy. So my question is … is this a thing?! In a now mostly virtual world, are people perhaps paying people to conduct interviews for them?!?

The situation is actively unfolding so I’m sure I’ll have updates. The less mature side of me wants him to start planting fake references to the interview conversations they had to see if John bites, but I digress.

After receiving this letter, I got updates. Many updates (probably because I greeted each one enthusiastically and requested more)! So let’s do those first and then get to the question.

Update 1

11:57 am

A very quick update!

My husband just came out of his office and said he has a text from his boss “Holly” on his personal cell because she didn’t want it on the company network. She wants to know if he thinks John is acting a lot different than the John they hired. He responded and told her all of his suspicions with the caveat that he didn’t want to accuse him of anything but something is very off. She too thinks it’s unlikely candidates were mixed up because she has his resume and John claims all the same work history/credentials as the John they interviewed.

They are on a call with HR as I type this. Unclear if they are working out an error by the hiring committee /HR or unraveling fraud. More to come.

Alas, my planting fake call-backs idea had no time to come to fruition.

Update 2

12:25 pm

Husband just got off a call with Holly, their HR business partner, and the internal recruiter who sent the offer. They confirmed the right candidate was offered a job and agreed many things were odd. (Another oddity revealed on that phone call … John didn’t know who Holly was; she had to reintroduce herself and he asked about her role … Holly was on two of three rounds of interviews and they extensively reviewed their org chart and her role.)

They are currently speaking with their legal team to discuss options and when to bring John into the mix to try to explain.

Update 3

1:43 pm

It’s definitely been a crazy morning! They are waiting to hear back from legal — I think they are weighing whether they confront John and let him try to explain or let him go anyway. He either lied about his identity or lied about his experience since he’s unable to speak about the basics of the job now so regardless it seems like he will be gone. I will keep you updated on what he learns next!

Husband in a rabbit hole of research now and apparently this fake interviewing is a thing (the job in question is a mulesoft architect). Bizarre!

Update 4

3:13 pm

They heard back from legal … who are less than thrilled about the situation! They approved HR to have a conversation with John regarding what has been reported (more in the vein of “there’s been some concerns about performance and you overselling abilities” and less of the We Think You Are a Liar route).

In the meantime, legal approved security to put a trace on John’s computer to review if there have been outside messages or if his work is being completed with outside help or on a different computer altogether. My husband said the general consensus among the group on the call is that the talk with HR is going to send up a quick red flag and John is likely to resign claiming a poor fit rather than get caught committing or admitting fraud.

Hopefully another fun update soon! My husband is getting sick of me sitting against his office door eavesdropping

Update 5

5:07 pm

I think my last update for a while: as soon as HR got on the call with him, before they could get through their first question, John said the words “I quit” and hung up the calls. He has since been unreachable!!

So good riddance John. Their security teams are trying to discover what all he downloaded, if they’ll be able to get their equipment back, is John really his real name, etc. !!

Incredibly bizarre situation. Hoping it was a failed case of trying to get a job and not trying to steal company info but who knows — they may never!

First, thank you for this saga, which I found highly diverting.

So yeah, in response to whether this is a thing … as your husband found, the internet claims it’s a thing, particularly in IT jobs and largely because of the increase in virtual interviewing. The idea is that one person interviews and another takes the job, or one person interviews while another person feeds them answers. You could short-circuit the first category by having people show I.D. at the start of virtual interviews, but the second category is harder and you’d need to address it by being forthright and direct if the person you hire doesn’t seem to have the skills they appeared to have in the interview … which is something good managers should do regardless, but it’s easy to fall into thinking maybe the person is just still adjusting to the role and then suddenly you’re two months in with someone who was never going to be able to do the job because they Cyrano de Bergerac’d their interview.

Blastedhellscape posted:

Ugh. Never been in a situation this dumb (sounds like this person was straight-up dating a Patrick Bateman), but I've been on dates where the other person was an rear end to the wait staff and had an attitude about how much to leave for a tip, and it's always off-putting and a bit embarrassing.

My rule is to *always* tip 20% rounded up to the nearest dollar, no matter what, and in recent years (what with inflation and stagnant wages being how they are) I've started going up to 25%. If your service at a restaurant sucks (wrong order, food took forever to get there, etc.) it's likely not the waiter's fault anyway. There can be all sorts of fuckups in the kitchen or on management's part that can lead to slow service.

therobit posted:

From r/legaladvice

Loud conspiracy theorists wrecking my friend's cafe business

quote:

My 28F sister 31F looks after my daughter maybe once a month or so. She's kind of me and my husband's backup backup babysitter since she's not really a kid person. I know she loves and cares for her niece but one thing that's always bothered me is that she speaks to my daughter like an adult. Doesn't baby talk with her at all. I brought it up with her this weekend that it bothers me but she brushed me off saying she's treating her like a person. She speaks to her cats in a baby voice all the time and when I mentioned this she told me her cats are never learning how to speak so it doesn't matter for them. I feel like she's dismissing my feelings as a mother and is prioritizes her cats over her niece. She thinks I'm being crazy and said that if I feel that strongly about it to find a different babysitter. My husband thinks that I should have dropped the subject because now we don't have an emergency babysitter if we need one.

So, AITA for getting mad at my sister for not using baby talk when she speaks to my daughter?

Ghost Leviathan posted:

Boobs are funny.

quote:

I (32f) have 5 children. My husband(34) of 13 years works full time and I stay home with the kids. We have a small three bedroom townhouse and no dishwasher. We live frugally as we have a large family, student loan and the mortgage. We teach children the value of chores from a young age.

Last Sunday was my daughters turn for dishes. She kept getting distracted by her siblings (ages 11, 8, 6, 4) and didn't get them done. Every time I went to the kitchen she wasn't there and I had to go find her to bring her back. She said the water made her hands itchy, and there were too many dishes. Eventually it was bedtime so I said she would have to do them tomorrow.

Every day last week was the same thing. I left her to do the dishes, and she wandered off playing outside or sitting watching TV. She complained that now there were even more dishes than before. I said "That's what you gets for putting it off."

On Wednesday morning I told her "If you don't finish these dishes by tomorrow at bedtime, I will cancel your birthday party." At first she was mad and cried. Then she seemed like she didn't believe me. She washed a couple things that afternoon but ended up playing outside again.

On Thursday she acted like the dishes didn't exist and didn't try to do them at all so at the end of the day I told her the party was off like we had talked about the day before, and she threw a massive tantrum. She said I was ruining her birthday and she only turns 10 once.

On Friday (her birthday) I sent messages to all the parents of the invited kids letting them know we were cancelling. I let her pick what I made for dinner and I baked a homemade cake but she was still very grumpy with me and struggled to get along with her siblings.

The party was supposed to be on Saturday. A few people who didn't get the message showed up and I turned them away. My daughter wouldn't come out of her room and screamed at her sisters who share the room with her. She called her aunt (my sister) on the family landline and my sister said that I was too harsh and I've traumatized my daughter. My husband says what we did is no one's business, and she's growing up and needs to learn how to help around the house and learn about natural consequences.

I did let my sister and parents come over and bring her some gifts this Sunday (after my daughter tearfully finished the dishes) and we had a little "family party" with siblings, grandparents and aunts. Today some of the kids at school gave her their gifts they got for the party so she has those. But my daughter is still moping around and now it seems harder than ever to get her to do chores.

Quackles posted:

Oh, no, that's real.

quote:

Starting in 2019 several of the older eggs have begun to hatch at night. It is unclear what has emerged from the eggs

Bargearse posted:

Eggs are gross and taste like farts, that’s my hot take for the day.

value-brand cereal posted:

What are the odds that ten yo kid has some kinda eczema and the parents dont care? I know projection is real silly but I don't think water makes hands itchy unless theres some sorta allergic reaction to dish washing fluid. That poor kid.

quote:

My ex-roommate wants to file a restraining order against me because I got COVID. For reference, I tested right before I came back to school (which was negative). My symptoms started in the later half of the first week of school. I told them as soon as I started feeling sickly and as soon as I tested positive.

I came back from quarantine (I did half at school and half at my friend's apartment off campus) and the room was totally empty. I just found out she moved to the room right next door to mine. Apparently she doesn't feel comfortable being so close to me (?) and wants to file a restraining order against me.

Is there any basis for a restraining order? She is trying to say that I "threatened her livelyhood." I was in quarantine for 10 days and my university as well as the CDC said that it can show in my system for up to three months after I got sick. She is trying to say that I did that because she is high-risk (I am high risk as well). She was also on a trip to Mexico and is blaming me for bringing COVID around her? Please help, kind of freaking out as I want to work in education.

Also forgot to mention we live in dorms on campus.

quote:

Throwaway So a few months ago, my husband (38m) and I (32f) began raising chickens in addition to our cattle and horses. Fresh eggs and all, right? Two weeks ago we adopted a rooster to keep the ladies company. We've named all of the chickens after divas (Celine, Mariah, Whitney, etc.)

Onto the story.

We had dinner with my parents, my sister (26f) and her fiancee (Jake, 30 something male) this weekend. We all get along well, but where my parents, my husband and I are farmers, the fiancee is way more metropolitan. So, he has a man bun and a beard. No big deal, just not something we're all used to seeing. Our rooster has a knot on the back of his head and a classic rooster beard. My husband pointed it out one day and we started calling him JJ. (Jake Jr)

While we were eating, I brought up Jake's namesake and showed him a picture. He started cracking up. But my sister got really upset, saying we hate him and don't respect him. It was really all in jest and Jake even started making expected rooster jokes.

Today my sister called and said we're completely disrespectful and should have never named a farm animal after her fiancee. Now I feel terrible. I thought everything was cool because Jake was laughing and joking about it. AITA?

value-brand cereal posted:

What are the odds that ten yo kid has some kinda eczema and the parents dont care? I know projection is real silly but I don't think water makes hands itchy unless theres some sorta allergic reaction to dish washing fluid. That poor kid.

Mx. posted:

yes please more stupid legaladvice i want to see what idiots get up to

teen witch posted:

Legaladvice posts are VERY welcome here, but be warned, the mods there are hot trash, even among Reddit mods. literally cops.

champagne posting posted:

Mx. posted:

AITA for getting mad at my sister for not using baby talk when she speaks to my daughter?

quote:

I feel like she's dismissing my feelings as a mother and is prioritizes her cats over her niece.

Tobermory posted:

Apologies for starting a lovely videogame derali. Content:

AITA: We named our rooster after my FBIL and now my sister is mad

therobit posted:

From r/legaladvice

Loud conspiracy theorists wrecking my friend's cafe business

quote:

Context: we have been dating for 8 months, have lived together for 6. I have a decent-paying medical job, he jumps around every 2/3 months, no benefits, minimum wage/slightly better. TLDR at end.

I know, we moved fast. I definitely thought this was a “when you know, you know” situation. I was wrong.

This was supposed to be “his” apartment that I stayed at occasionally. I was not comfortable at my previous residence so this was immaculate timing. Sure, fast track to living with each other. First red flag: He couldn’t pass the credit check, so I offered to be on the lease, basically a co-signer. I explicitly mentioned before signing that even if I weren’t splitting rent with him, he could afford this on his own. He said “yes” confidently.

He couldn’t make rent twice so far. Month 3 and month 6. I’ve basically paid for everything, my half of rent every month, all the furniture, every grocery trip, every dining experience, Internet, phone bill, etc. He cleans, I guess that’s ok bc I’m messy. I’ve basically paid, decorated and furnished this apartment solo. And now paid 2 months rent unassisted.

The kicker? I’ve eaten through half my savings. He has none. Couldn’t cover any emergency expenses if hr tried. He says, THE DAY RENT IS DUE, “babe don’t be mad, I’m soooo sorry. Because of xyz I can’t make it. Can you pay and I’ll pay you back?” I cave bc late fees and the possibility of it affecting my (hard-earned immaculate) credit and pay. Since the second time he has not paid me back.

I’ve grown so much resentment towards him I have literally no desire to kiss, cuddle, anything. I feel like I’m taking care of a man child instead of feeling loved and equal. He knows financial troubles bring me anxiety and apologizes profusely and love-bombs me afterward.

I cried today, wishing I could just go back to living by myself and risk being lonely rather than financially unstable. I just want him to miss rent one more time so I have an excuse to get it over with and be justified.

I can pay $4k to end the lease early and eat through my savings more. I just need advice. I have crippling anxiety that I’m a terrible person and don’t want to disappoint his family, but the financial insecurity has wrecked me. Any advice welcome.

TDLR; bf missed rent twice, hasn’t paid me back. I do not want the financial burden anymore, just want to live by myself. What do I do?

Thank you, Reddit.

Evil Willow posted:

I (24f) desperately want my bf (34m) to not make rent again so I have an excuse to end things.

sephiRoth IRA posted:

Not everybody who picks an avatar that doesn't look like them is an egg

Mx. posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZXsQAXx_ao0

Evil Willow posted:

I (24f) desperately want my bf (34m) to not make rent again so I have an excuse to end things.

AceClown posted:

lmao why is telling the loud old conspiracy theorists to just gently caress off not an option?

Tobermory posted:

AITA: We named our rooster after my FBIL and now my sister is mad

AceClown posted:

lmao why is telling the loud old conspiracy theorists to just gently caress off not an option?

quote:

My husband (30) and I (31) have just bought our first house together, we're loving it and we're excited to decorate it together. Unfortunately my husband travels a lot for work and we've already had new furniture orders arrive but I couldn't do it all myself. My MIL (mother in law) offered to help and I agreed.

yesterday, I got back from work at 8 and was shocked to see one of the wall was full of framed pictures that mil put there, that is not the main problem because these pictures were from his childhood, graduation, birthdays and then I saw the biggest framed picture of them all and is him and his ex on their wedding day (context: MIL "adores" my husband's ex, she brings her up all the time and reminces about the past years with her. not only that but she includes her in events and holidays which caused issues between us) I lashed out at mil asking what the hell she put that picture on the wall for and how she thought it was an appropriate thing to do. I told her to take it down in that instance but she defensive and said "this is part of Derek's life and you can not erase it". then went on about how many hours she spent working on this wall and how I should try to be a little bit more appreciative. I lost my cool and flipped out on her, I took a share and removed the picture. she started arguing with me asking what's wrong with me and calling me crazy. I told her to take the picture and leave but she tried to say that it wasn't just the ex in that picture but my husband as well but I told her I'd throw it out if she won't leave. She left but started texting me saying stuff like jealous, bitter, overbearing, controlling etc. I responded telling her she disrespected me in my own home by what she did and proceeded to ban her from the house.

she called my husband and forwaded a screenshot of the "ban". He called me and we talked. he then said his mom ought to know better but she didn't and I was right to be angry but banning her from the house was an overreaction - like a crazy overreaction. he tried to get me to call her and cancel the ban but I refused. he then ranted about how unfair I was being to make such decision when it's our house not just mine. conversation got nowhere and am now waiting for him to get home to talk. my inlaws are upset with me saying I went overboard with this reaction and urged me to let mil back into the house and drop this whole thing like it never happened.

Aita for banning after this?

quote:

My girlfriend was doing some time-sensitive work on her computer and asked me to go through her photo gallery on her phone and send her some images. As I was going through the photos she got a text from someone that said "Love you princess! Good night <heart emjoi>"

I understandably got freaked out and started looking at the text history, I didn't need to read a lot before seeing red. My girlfriend has been chatting with this person regularly, mainly about her day, he keeps calling her 'baby' and 'princess' and sending her 'lots of love' and 'hugs and kisses.'

I feel shocked, I thought I had a great relationship with my GF. I looked at the name again, and suddenly remembered my GF had mumbled it and something about chocolate in her sleep the other night. I could see this had been going on for a while, and I got really angry so I sent a message to the guy about how he was scum for calling somebody else's GF baby, and then I deleted the messages and blocked the number.

This was an hour ago. I don't feel like I went too far, but now that I've cooled down, I've been wondering and wanting some outside perspective.

Update: So it turned out I hosed up big time. My GF came here as an international student, and has relatives from other cultures. It turns out that what I thought was the affair partner's name was actually the word for aunt. Her elderly aunt that helped raise her, which is why the messages were so affectionate. Apparently she makes a mean chocolate cake, which my girlfriend had been dreaming about the other night.

I thought this was complete BS, but my girlfriend made me read through all her messages from the beginning, and I realized she was telling the truth. My girlfriend is pissed, apparently her aunt has been crying because of the message I sent and because I blocked the number, it took a while to clear the situation up. She cursed me out for 5 minutes and said I'm a total scumbag and it's over and then kicked me out.

Thanks a lot reddit.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for texting from my GF's phone?

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for texting from my GF's phone?

DACK FAYDEN posted:

I expected this to be either a slam at him because the hens were named after divas or a slam at him because roosters are only good for banging and yet somehow it's super wholesome and the guy himself cracked up and why is the lady mad

teen witch posted:

Legaladvice posts are VERY welcome here, but be warned, the mods there are hot trash, even among Reddit mods. R/bestoflegaladvice is solid.

Dik Hz posted:

The mods of bola are the same mods as la.