Chef Boyardeez Nuts posted:

My daughter is still a toddler so I'll take a wild swing at this: who the gently caress cares? At 14 kids should have a firm sense of autonomy over their own body and so long as it's appropriate for the environment she's in at the moment (and since this is underwear that adults aren't going to see, it's by default appropriate). Let the kid wear clothes that make her comfortable.

Scags McDouglas posted:

I'm sure a lot of details were buried about how annoying the mom was to deal with and how many times something like this has habitually happened..

but...

I don't get why the wife volunteered to take her home, then just stopped halfway and locked her in a car for 30 minutes. Depending on the temperature, you could kill someone doing that. If she's passed out it's equivalent to a dog or a toddler.

Then also kicking her out of the car to pass out in a parking lot helpless is another way to kill someone.


What I'm saying the wife would usually have a point but she was definitely hoping to kill that mom.

Mx. posted:

AITA for throwing a family into the street?

quote:

So i'm a 29 year old Polyam Woman, I am currently dating two men both of who are Polyam also and it's no secret from anyone that we have this kind of relationship as i've never hid it.

In 2 weeks we're having a family get together and i've been told to bring my boyfriend I pointed out I have two of them which led to me being told to just "Pick one", this upsets me as this is an equal relationship with both of them and I always strive to never play favourites, i've told my family if I am bringing a partner it has to be both of them which has upset some immediate members of the family who don't get why I wont give up this "Phase" yet and other charming snippets of input about my life.

At this point i'm so upset that I honestly don't care much about going but now it's the principle of the matter, I don't want my family thinking they can exclude one partner of mine and pass me off as monogamous when i'm not and it's not a secret, My mother is now trying to guilt me into coming and how if my boyfriends cared about me surely they'd be ok with only one going to make the night smoother, which yes, they'd probably accept it even if hurt to ensure I didn't struggle too much as they're good guys

Maybe i'm the rear end in a top hat for getting so hung up on this IDK, I just feel like my family are trying to gloss over an important part of my life.

Invisible Clergy posted:

OP's first mistake was agreeing to a grace period at all. Give someone an inch, they'll take a mile. If you close in December, close in December. If they needed to live there til May, they should've said they'll close in May. They're definitely pulling some kind of scam on him. If they have the money to pay his rent for six weeks, they can use that money and find somewhere else to live for six weeks.

Invisible Clergy posted:

I mean we know the mom habitually gets shitfaced at her doormat son's house, drives drunk, and does this on a work night. Even trying to paint his mommy as a victim, OP doesn't leave out as much as he thinks he does because like all enablers, he no longer has a good view of what is and isn't normal behavior.

Because she had to buy a birthday present for her friend and the mall was going to close. If it had been too hot or cold, I'm sure OP would've mentioned it to try to demonize his wife. Being in a car for 30 minutes isn't a big deal. Play on your phone or take a nap or something. If the mom can't bear this terrible indignity, she can open the lock and door with her opposable thumbs and find her own way home.

The mom chose to bite the hand that was giving her a free ride home and rather than be a doormat like OP, the wife correctly told her to gently caress off. The husband's dogwhistle about gangstalkers notwithstanding, if she doesn't feel like walking or taking a bus, his drunk mom can take an uber.

The wife does have a point. There's no way this is the first time OP is suddenly springing this kind of bullshit on her.

quote:

Let me start by saying, this is about the Covid vaccine. It’s not a debate about my opinion.

I’m very very very against the Covid vaccine in children. My ex knows this. Since the vaccine was available to kids, I’ve had multiple passionate conversations with him about how we will NOT be sending our child to the front lines of a vaccine rollout. He agreed.

My son lives with his father during the week only because I’m 30 minutes away and the same elementary school my ex went to as a kid, my son can walk to from where they live. It’s also a very good public school.

The county he is in, sent me an email about free vaccine clinics around the area that kids can attend and get their shots.

Again, I immediately shut down the idea and my ex agreed.

Well I got a hold of my sons records yesterday and saw that he had received not one but both vaccinations.

This was a clinic doing something medical to children, under the county’s public health system. How can one parent show up and get anything done without the consent of the other parent? My taxes paid for them to harm my child. I don’t care what anyone says about this vaccine because one thing that anyone can agree on is that there is NOTHING to show what kind of long term effects this could have on a developing body of a child. This is my choice as much as anyones. This is my child. They violated my right as a mother to deny this situation.

If this were a case where my ex gave my son a tattoo, I know what the outcome would be. Because that’s just blatant child abuse even if it’s something superficial.

Because this is an issue that is extremely polarized and part of peoples entire identity and ideology right now, I know the courts will judge based on “what’s best for the child”, and that’s probably not going to be in my favor. But if I focus on the fact that he lied and misled me at every turn in order to do something I was against, to my child, is there a case there?

quote:

[removed]

Ask Reddit posted:

"What do you feel is worse making a regretful decision or not making the decision at all?"

OP posted:

Better to ask for forgiveness than to ask for permission

quote:

My wife (39F) and I (36M) got married and moved in together last year after 3 years of dating. She has a son (15M) with her ex-husband (42M). He was never abusive to any of them but he used to be extremely cold, emotionally distant and easily irritable, so my wife divorced him when the kid was 8. Since then he has constantly tried to be involved in his life but the child doesn't like him at all. He tries to "make a man out of him" but the son is a huge softie which is obviously an inherent incompatibility. He views his dad's approach as him not being accepting of who he is.

I met the kiddo when he was 12. I had already been dating my wife for a year at that point and we both knew that things were going to get serious, so it was the right time. I instantly felt a connection to him, my paternal instincts spiked up. I'm sterile and I love children which is an unfortunate combination. From that moment on I started spending as much time with him as possible. The ex-husband really hated this and accused me of trying to "steal his son".

After we all moved in together, I started taking care of him full-time basically, 'cause I work from home. I cook him breakfast in the morning, I pack him lunch, I drop and pick him off from school, I help him with his homework, we play video games together, workout, do sports, watch movies, listen to music, go on trips, etc. He talks with me about anything. I love him so much, I consider him my own son.

This week he came to me crying after a meeting with his dad. The father apparently started trash talking me and telling him things such as: "he's not your real dad, he's just a stranger", "he's only being nice to you to get closer to your mom", "he'll never see you as his own child", etc. The poor kid actually defended me in front of his dad. I hugged him tight and assured him that I love him more than anything and that he is definitely my son. He calmed down in the end and let me know that from now on he wants to call me dad publicly and in front of everyone (he called me by my first name before) 'cause I'm his male role model and real dad and he loves, respects and admires me a lot. I told him okay, whatever he feels the most comfortable with.

My wife's ex-husband called me yesterday to berate me for allowing this to happen, saying that because of me he'll never be able to rebuild the relationship with his son now and that I crossed some huge boundaries and I should be ashamed of myself for that.

Hughlander posted:

AITA for allowing my stepson to call me dad?


Need a good step-family story today I think

Hughlander posted:

AITA for allowing my stepson to call me dad?


Need a good step-family story today I think

Hughlander posted:

AITA for allowing my stepson to call me dad?


Need a good step-family story today I think

mind the walrus posted:

I mean that's sweet but... even with the bio-Dad obviously being a POS you should consider optics and social politics if you can't just cut the guy out for a good 3-6 years minimum. That "really special episode" moment of affirming father/son in private doesn't translate to the public as well as you think unless you're really willing to go full extended schism all the way.

quote:

My wife and I have been together since we were 14, and were both friendless outcasts. She didn't mind much as she was into gaming and other solitary pursuits, but it was always painful for me. Later on after high school we moved again to a city where I was able to develop a circle of friends, which my wife (who back then identified as my husband) seemed to have 0 interest in doing.

Recently, my wife came out as trans. And once she did, she was EXTREMELY enthusiastic about being out, and really wanted to experience having girlfriends. She never wanted friends in a guy role, but was excited about being one of the girls, bonding, gossiping, doing hair. So she wanted nights with my friends to do all of that, but at our age (late 20's) we don't really sit around doing each other's hair. Experiencing that was really important to my wife to the point she'd even get hysterical and cry, so I admit I pushed it a little hard on my friends. I felt if they cared about me/us, what would be the harm in us having a few nights where we had pillow fights and such. I didn't get much cooperation though which was confusing then, and still is, and it was really devastating to my wife, making her feel that she'd missed out those experiences forever. So I will admit I got kind of upset with certain people that I was there for in the past, that a couple girl's nights were too much for them to do as a favor for me/us. Unfortunately this led to me not talking to most of the group anymore.

I was left with pretty much just one friend, Kate, who is a single mother to a daughter, Julie. My wife has never liked Kate and thinks she is really boring, but she was still willing to hang out with us so along we went. We found that, spending time at Kate's house, my wife actually did have a fun time with Julie. She spent time playing with Julie and was able to participate in some of the games and activities she missed out on by not growing up as a girl. I thought it went really well, but afterwards I got a call from Kate asking me not to bring my wife over again, as she said Julie was uncomfortable. Now I don't believe this as I asked Kate for specifics on what exactly Julie said my wife did that was "uncomfortable" and there was nothing, also all 4 of us were in the same room the whole time and nothing uncomfortable happened at all. My wife was also really excited to spend time with them again and I couldn't bring her to tell her what Kate had said, so I put off the topic and eventually said I had a falling out with Kate.

But I did secretly go and see Kate because I was struggling with feeling lonely and isolated without my other friends. Of course eventually my wife found out and was devastated and betrayed that I'd go and hang out with someone without her, leaving her excluded and ostracized. I do understand her position but I also don't know what to do. I still haven't told her what Kate said.

Achmed Jones posted:

"translate to the public" what are you talking about? you think the paparazzi are gonna be on the case?

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for excluding my wife and hanging out w/ my female friends that "ostracized" her?

Achmed Jones posted:

"translate to the public" what are you talking about? you think the paparazzi are gonna be on the case?

Achmed Jones posted:

"translate to the public" what are you talking about? you think the paparazzi are gonna be on the case?

Achmed Jones posted:

officer officer help! my son called another man "dad!" this is slander! libel! i know my rights, i hereby make a citizens arrest! you're going to DAD JAIL buster!

Achmed Jones posted:

sir, yes, this is principal jones. it's about your STEP son, i'm sorry to say

you see, he wrote an essay. he.....he called you his...._dad_ in it. i'm sure you understand that is simply unacceptable here at the high school. i'm sorry sir, but the DAD POLICE will arrive shortly to take you away. i wish this had never happened, but when you play dad games you win dad prizes.

quote:

Okay so I (22F) have an older brother (28) that we'll call Jamie. We've been roommates since I was about 17. In that time, I've seen a lot of girls come and go, even when he was in a relationship with different girls. I'm not a huge fan of his actions or how he treats women in general, but it's his life and he's free to mess it up as much as he wants so I turn a blind eye to it.

He has four kids. His oldest daughter is 10 and is the only one that he actually pays any child support on, but he rarely sees her. The other two are twin boys (4) that he has with one of my close friends. She didn't take him to court, so I do my best to provide for them if she needs help. His son I don't really know much about. I think he's around 8? He doesn't want kids and doesn't see them but maybe a handful of times around the year and doesn't see his 8 year old son at all. He calls the ones he has "accidents" and has said before that he wishes he hadn't had them because he gets irritated when their mothers call him.

So essentially what happened was 3 years ago, Jamie met a girl named Natalie and they immediately hit it off. She's moved into our apartment and I like her well enough. With his habits, I didn't expect her to last very long, but she surprised us both. Since I planned on moving out in a few months, she'd been talking about renovating my room and all sorts of stuff they could do with the space. She even laughingly said that "maybe it could be a nursery". I thought it was a joke and brushed it off.

Well, a couple weeks ago, while I was out at dinner with my friends, he had decorated the apartment and proposed to her. I congratulated them and didn't have any problems with this until a few nights ago when we were all drinking and talking. Natalie was gushing about her plans for the wedding and her bridesmaids and her new ring. Here's what went wrong. She mentioned how she wanted kids as soon as she could and how she could see my brother being the best dad.

I started laughing. Basically what I said was: "He hasn't been the best dad to the four he has now."

She asked what I meant and my brother started to freak out. I realized she didn't know and explained how he wasn't raising his kids and how he didn't even want to see them and didn't want kids at all. Apparently he hadn't told her about any of this. My brother was drunk and started yelling so I called a friend and left. I stayed away a day or two and he blew up my phone. I guess he and Natalie are fighting horribly and he blamed me for it. I ruined his engagement and I'm an AH for telling her as it "should've been his choice to tell her about the kids". Our parents agree with him and haven't been talking to me.

Honeslty I feel like I warned her before things got too serious, even if it wasn't deliberate. He should've told her before about them. So AITA here?

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for excluding my wife and hanging out w/ my female friends that "ostracized" her?

therobit posted:

AITA for bringing up my brother's four [/kids to his fiance and potentially ruining an engagement?

therobit posted:

Our parents agree with him and haven't been talking to me.

PetraCore posted:

But it also sounds like she probably doesn't have the best socialization period because of that so I'm guessing she came off too strongly enthusiastic and like she wanted to be best besties with the kid instead of hitting the proper social cues.

mind the walrus posted:

It does, it just doesn't sound like stepdad OP there is ready to go to war as much as he's reliant on moral posturing and the power of love to carry them through the waters of slander and libel. It is not.

Scags McDouglas posted:

I still think you might be taking a slightly more extreme side of this than necessary (which isn't an attack, I like your posts in this thread). She didn't need to go get a birthday present, and she certainly didn't need to be the one driving his mom home. The bizarre detail you're skipping is that she overrode her husband and volunteered, then did a really creepy job with it.

Completely controlling for the alcoholism component of the story, it just seems like common courtesy not to say "hey no I'm driving you home instead" and then plop them to wait for thirty minutes. That's a stupid-long time to make someone sit that was trusting you for a ride home.

mind the walrus posted:

I mean that's sweet but... even with the bio-Dad obviously being a POS you should consider optics and social politics if you can't just cut the guy out for a good 3-6 years minimum. That "really special episode" moment of affirming father/son in private doesn't translate to the public as well as you think unless you're really willing to go full extended schism all the way.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for excluding my wife and hanging out w/ my female friends that "ostracized" her?

Laopooh posted:

Achmed Jones posted:

sir, yes, this is principal jones. it's about your STEP son, i'm sorry to say

you see, he wrote an essay. he.....he called you his...._dad_ in it. i'm sure you understand that is simply unacceptable here at the high school. i'm sorry sir, but the DAD POLICE will arrive shortly to take you away. i wish this had never happened, but when you play dad games you win dad prizes.

Invisible Clergy posted:

What does this symbol mean? I see it a lot but it's hard to guess what the context is since it usually doesn't have extra text.

Laopooh posted:

Invisible Clergy posted:

What are you talking about? The kid wants to call OP "dad" in public, the OP is comfortable with it, both relevant parties have consented. Why should the piece of poo poo ex-dad factor into this at all? It's not like cowtowing to the demands of an abuser make them behave better, it just teaches them the way to get what they want is by acting out.

Blue Moonlight posted:

It’s “goonsay” - when combined with a quote block, it’s intended to suggest that a stereotypical goon is saying what’s in the quote, like a speech bubble.

It usually suggests that the person being quoted is saying something somewhat out of touch or terminally online.

mind the walrus posted:

Without ages it's really hard for me to assume a condescending position of superiority and tell every single person in this story except the kid to grow the gently caress up, particularly OP and her wife. *cracks fat and sagging back and knuckles* But gently caress. I'm gonna do it.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for excluding my wife and hanging out w/ my female friends that "ostracized" her?

but at our age (late 20's)

Invisible Clergy posted:

Oh, ok, so syntactically it's the same as saying "what's his username?" Thanks for explaining!

mind the walrus posted:

Lmao tf does this sociopath do for a living?

Kurieg posted:

When a piece of poo poo makes an rear end of himself in public, he's made an rear end of himself in public. Anyone who investigates further would discover that this guy is a piece of poo poo and his son has made his own decision. Sure, it may make your life a little harder in the interim, but it makes the Kid's life better, and the kid happier. And as a parent that's the only thing you should be concerned about.

When you take a socially expedient option to appease a peace of poo poo in public you have shown him that being a piece of poo poo gets results, harmed your relationship with your son, and given the piece of poo poo leverage over him. But at least you've maintained Decorum I guess.

quote:

My fiance proposed a few months ago and we're getting ready for our wedding. We're currently making a guest list and we will send out invitations in the next few months.

Our plan for the wedding was for it to be childfree. I've been to many weddings that were ruined by screaming and wailing tykes and as much as I love kids, I would prefer there to not be screaming at my wedding. The rule was that no children below the age of 10 are invited.

So my fiance has a little sister who he is close to and whom I really do like. I'm very excited to be her older SIL. She was going to be a guest at our wedding, however a few days ago we found out she is pregnant and plans on having the baby. Now I'm not going to sit here and shame her for her irresponsible actions or anything, but I felt like this was a very big deal. My family is very religous and I know they will be unhappy and it would potentially ruin their time if they saw a pregnant teenager at my wedding. That of course isn't that big of a deal.

What I'm more worried about is her due date. She is apparently due 2 weeks after the wedding. My worry is this, pregnant women require a lot of care and extra accomidation. There's also the risk of her water breaking at my ceremony and taking all the attention off me on my day. Call me selfish but I feel that I and my husband to be should be the focal point. I don't want to risk her giving birth and needing even more attention that should be placed on me. So I think she shouldn't be there.

I told my fiance and he got unbelivably pissed off at me. He told me I was being a complete rear end in a top hat by not inviting her since he's her little sister. I get that they are very close, but it's not a good idea. Attention aside, I don't think a nine month pregnant teen should be on her feet at a wedding so close to her due date. He told me I was back pedalling and I should be ashamed of myself. HE then told his whole family and they all are mad at me for suggesting this.

AITA?

Mx. posted:

AITA for requesting my(25F) fiancee's(26M) sister(17F) not be at our wedding

~*it's my special day*~