OSHA IV: NO SAFETY - SMOKING FIRST - The Something Awful Forums

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > OSHA IV: NO SAFETY - SMOKING FIRST

CollegeCop: Jul 11, 2005; You're right. I'm not a real cop. Those are imaginary handcuffs. And in a minute, we'll be going to the make-believe jail.

waffle iron posted:

My favorite bit of federal preemption of local laws is a toss up between the ham radio towers of a certain minimum height being exempt from building codes and towns being unable to ban engine brakes because both are federally allowed.

The Ham radio tower exemption is my favorite because it makes HOA's cry.

# ? Feb 4, 2022 19:52

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 04:53

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

Sagebrush posted:

those rally cars are crashing because they don't have a co-driver as good as neil hickey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30dxrwd0Kss

this is incredibly fun to watch even though I do not know what the gently caress he is calling. what are the numbers?

# ? Feb 4, 2022 20:09

Kith: Sep 17, 2009; You never learn anything
by doing it right.

"Curse'a God, the whole thing's rough!"

# ? Feb 4, 2022 20:13

mobby_6kl: Aug 9, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Empty Sandwich posted:

this is incredibly fun to watch even though I do not know what the gently caress he is calling. what are the numbers?

The numbers correspond to how tight the corner is so the driver knows how much to brake.

Then there's other stuff like crest, bumpy etc which is generally more obvious.

# ? Feb 4, 2022 20:16

Pead: May 31, 2001; Nap Ghost

CzarChasm posted:

That just reeks of insurance scam bullshit.

Is there car insurance in russia?

edit: genuine question, rural russia seems like one of those anything goes places for driving

# ? Feb 4, 2022 20:19

DrPossum: May 15, 2004; i am not a surgeon

Bugsy posted:

https://twitter.com/BNONews/status/1489157309842526213

Hopefully nobody died.

that'll buff out

# ? Feb 4, 2022 20:21

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

mobby_6kl posted:

The numbers correspond to how tight the corner is so the driver knows how much to brake.

Then there's other stuff like crest, bumpy etc which is generally more obvious.

gracias. what are the higher numbers? speed?

# ? Feb 4, 2022 20:35

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Empty Sandwich posted:

gracias. what are the higher numbers? speed?

How tight the turn is

# ? Feb 4, 2022 20:47

powderific: May 13, 2004; Grimey Drawer

Distance to the next thing I believe (edit: in meters or yards).

# ? Feb 4, 2022 20:52

Nenonen: Oct 22, 2009; Mulla on aina kolkyt donaa taskussa

Pead posted:

Is there car insurance in russia?

edit: genuine question, rural russia seems like one of those anything goes places for driving

Yes, liability insurance is required. All kinds of setup accidents are also common, which is why everyone has dashcams to avoid blackmailing, which has the positive side effect that the net is full of Russian traffic videos.

# ? Feb 4, 2022 20:54

AFewBricksShy: Jun 19, 2003; of a full load.

Cthulu Carl posted:

How tight the turn is

He means the 170 in "170 bumpy crest into 3 right slippy" .

The 170 would be how many meters until the slippery medium right turn.

# ? Feb 4, 2022 20:57

TasogareNoKagi: Jul 11, 2013

waffle iron posted:

My favorite bit of federal preemption of local laws is a toss up between the ham radio towers of a certain minimum height being exempt from building codes and towns being unable to ban engine brakes because both are federally allowed.

Ham Radio antennas? Laws? HOAs don't give a gently caress about your federal preemption of local laws!

# ? Feb 4, 2022 21:09

Blue Footed Booby: Oct 4, 2006; got those happy feet

Sagebrush posted:

those rally cars are crashing because they don't have a co-driver as good as neil hickey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30dxrwd0Kss

I would die to defend the rear end of Timo.

# ? Feb 4, 2022 21:13

sigher: Apr 22, 2008; My guiding Moonlight...

Sagebrush posted:

those rally cars are crashing because they don't have a co-driver as good as neil hickey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30dxrwd0Kss

"Jaysis Christ" lmao

# ? Feb 4, 2022 21:32

Flash Gordon Ramsay: Sep 28, 2004; Grimey Drawer

Those guys sound like they have more fun at their job than I would have expected.

# ? Feb 4, 2022 21:57

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; ERM.... I'm actually NOT bothered by this avatar

i've definitely picked up a few of their expressions for my own use

"curse o' jayis christ"

"oh jayses we're done!"

"well ya marked it down, ya bollix"

"o jaysis christ almighty yer gonta ditch er"

"jaysis they're quare fuckin tight!" "go on traight tru be gently caress sure"

"don't tink this yoke does tidy, ted"

"whisht! ah jaysis i'm gone"

"oh jaysis come out ya fookin hooer"

# ? Feb 4, 2022 22:14

The Real Amethyst: Apr 20, 2018; When no one was looking, Serval took forty Japari buns. She took 40 buns. That's as many as four tens. And that's terrible.

"mind the big stones look at them yokes, i drew them from roadstone!"
hahaha

# ? Feb 4, 2022 22:30

holtemon: May 2, 2019; Dancing is forbidden

waffle iron posted:

My favorite bit of federal preemption of local laws is a toss up between the ham radio towers of a certain minimum height being exempt from building codes and towns being unable to ban engine brakes because both are federally allowed.

I hate to be that guy but can you elaborate on this one?

I've been in multiple towns where right at the border you see a big rear end sign "ENGINE BRAKING PROHIBITED"

# ? Feb 4, 2022 22:52

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; ERM.... I'm actually NOT bothered by this avatar

i would imagine it's about the same situation as dump trucks with a sign on the back that say "STAY BACK 100 FEET - NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR WINDSHIELD DAMAGE"

(you are always responsible for damage caused by poo poo falling off your vehicle)

# ? Feb 4, 2022 22:54

deoju: Jul 11, 2004; All the pieces matter.; Nap Ghost

Cojawfee posted:

I love the guy slapping the car that rolled into his car. What are you mad about bro, he made the same mistake you did.

He says, "rear end in a top hat, what are you doing?"

lol

# ? Feb 4, 2022 22:57

Weembles: Apr 19, 2004

Sagebrush posted:

those rally cars are crashing because they don't have a co-driver as good as neil hickey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30dxrwd0Kss

Has anyone ever done a rally car cockpit record dubbed over with shipping forecast entries?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxHa5KaMBcM

# ? Feb 4, 2022 23:22

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Sagebrush posted:

those rally cars are crashing because they don't have a co-driver as good as neil hickey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30dxrwd0Kss

I got bumbuclaat but the rest was just gobbledygook to me

# ? Feb 4, 2022 23:51

SmokaDustbowl: Feb 12, 2001; by vyelkin; Fun Shoe

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

https://twitter.com/poppy_haze/status/1489452793203200002

hatchback catch

# ? Feb 5, 2022 00:09

waffle iron: Jan 16, 2004

holtemon posted:

I hate to be that guy but can you elaborate on this one?

I've been in multiple towns where right at the border you see a big rear end sign "ENGINE BRAKING PROHIBITED"

Generally local governments can't ban use of engine brakes because they are safety equipment that meet the DOT requirements. However, it is possible for municipalities to require mufflers to meet decibel limit.

Colorado DOT: https://www.codot.gov/programs/environmental/noise/noise-faqs.html#jake%20brake

A town in NY explaining why NYSDOT won't let them ban them: https://hillsdaleny.com/no-engine-brakes/

Virginia DOT ruling banning no engine brake signs: http://www.virginiadot.org/business/resources/traffic_engineering/memos/TE-316_Engine_Braking_Signs.pdf

So to be more accurate it's probably the jurisdiction of state DOTs and they're not going to let cities and town ban using safety equipment.

# ? Feb 5, 2022 01:51

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/U2KJm2E.mp4

# ? Feb 5, 2022 02:06

Cartoon Man: Jan 31, 2004

https://i.imgur.com/iLwkZcM.mp4

# ? Feb 5, 2022 02:09

Sagebrush: Feb 26, 2012; ERM.... I'm actually NOT bothered by this avatar

Cartoon Man posted:

https://i.imgur.com/U2KJm2E.mp4

i hear this music

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8aZSP8c05zM

# ? Feb 5, 2022 02:09

Aero737: Apr 30, 2006

Been a while since we've had a good bridge loving

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFLJvpwm52Q

# ? Feb 5, 2022 02:11

SyNack Sassimov: May 4, 2006; Let the robot win.
��--Captain James T. Vader

Aero737 posted:

Been a while since we've had a good bridge loving

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFLJvpwm52Q

Someone should repost the thing from BC50Tom about what a train crash is like "I drown in 200 gallons of chemical toilet water but am saved from embarrassment by the fire that burns for three days consuming my corpse. The accident is ultimately found to be caused by the assistant engineer having THC in his system from an edible he consumed three weeks before".

# ? Feb 5, 2022 02:25

The Wiggly Wizard: Aug 21, 2008

Aero737 posted:

Been a while since we've had a good bridge loving

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFLJvpwm52Q

# ? Feb 5, 2022 02:35

PainterofCrap: Oct 17, 2002; hey bebe

Aero737 posted:

Been a while since we've had a good bridge loving

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFLJvpwm52Q

Man, do you ever get a good sense of the kinetic energy harnessed in a freight train

# ? Feb 5, 2022 02:52

Cable Guy: Jul 18, 2005; I don't expect any trouble, but we'll be handing these out later...; Slippery Tilde

Aero737 posted:

Been a while since we've had a good bridge loving

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vFLJvpwm52Q

Some great Bobcat drifting at 1:14

# ? Feb 5, 2022 03:02

Ror: Oct 21, 2010; 😸Everything's 🗞️ purrfect!💯🤟

PainterofCrap posted:

Man, do you ever get a good sense of the kinetic energy harnessed in a freight train

Yeah, that's wild, once the red car gets crammed up into the bridge my brain expects it to instantly halt but nope, that fucker's still got momentum

# ? Feb 5, 2022 03:07

wesleywillis: Dec 30, 2016; SUCK A MALE CAMEL'S DICK WITH MIRACLE WHIP!!

CollegeCop posted:

The Ham radio tower exemption is my favorite because it makes HOA's cry.

The FCC also says that HOAs can't ban TV antennas too.

https://www.fcc.gov/media/over-air-reception-devices-rule

# ? Feb 5, 2022 03:54

Phanatic: Mar 13, 2007; Please don't forget that I am an extremely racist idiot who also has terrible opinions about the Culture series.

wesleywillis posted:

The FCC also says that HOAs can't ban TV antennas too.

https://www.fcc.gov/media/over-air-reception-devices-rule

And digital satellite dishes.

# ? Feb 5, 2022 04:50

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

https://twitter.com/Gray_Mackenzie/status/1489336220530397185

# ? Feb 5, 2022 05:02

GWBBQ: Jan 2, 2005

Sagebrush posted:

those rally cars are crashing because they don't have a co-driver as good as neil hickey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30dxrwd0Kss

I misread that as Enda Kenny and was very confused for a minute.

# ? Feb 5, 2022 05:58

Vincent Van Goatse: Nov 8, 2006; Enjoy every sandwich.; Smellrose

Sagebrush posted:

those rally cars are crashing because they don't have a co-driver as good as neil hickey

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=30dxrwd0Kss

This is the most Irish video I've ever seen.

# ? Feb 5, 2022 06:08

Waste of Breath: Dec 30, 2021; I only know🧠 one1️⃣ thing🪨: I😡 want😤 to 🔪kill☠️� 😈Chaos😱� I need🥵 to. [TIME⏰ TO DIE☠️]

SyNack Sassimov posted:

Someone should repost the thing from BC50Tom about what a train crash is like "I drown in 200 gallons of chemical toilet water but am saved from embarrassment by the fire that burns for three days consuming my corpse. The accident is ultimately found to be caused by the assistant engineer having THC in his system from an edible he consumed three weeks before".

quote:

Pretty much this. It is hard to explain not just the physics, but the amounts of forces involved.

We use throttle to create stretching or "draft" forces and dynamic braking (think of downhill engine braking in a car) to create bunching or "buff" forces.

To start with, when you are running the train, you are feathering the throttle or dynamic braking to keep "in train forces" at acceptable levels. This is based upon the terrain each part of the train is passing over.

Even small changes in grade, if there are enough of them under the length of the train, are enough to break knuckles, rip out draw bars, or derail cars simply by doing "nothing at all" at the wrong time.

In these situations heavier applications of power or dynamic brake are required to keep these "in train forces" down.

Think of a large sliced loaf of bread. I take the wrapper off of it and ask you to carry it across the room. One hand on each end should suffice. A small amount of pressure to keep the bread from being crushed and across the room you go.

The knuckle and drawbar connections between the cars seem very strong to the layman, but when compared to the amount of weight of loaded freight cars, and all of the cars behind them piled upon it, it may as well be dental floss.

You can break dental floss easily, but the difference is that it is hard to "crush" dental floss.

The poster I have quoted above is addressing something we call "train make up". THe "in train forces" can be additionally effected by the way cars or groups of cars are placed in the train. Long cars next to short cars, loads next to empties.

Generally freight trains that are not hauling a bulk of the same commodity are mixed freight. A bulk commodity train would be an entire train of wheat or coal. These trains are very heavy, and have their own set of problems, but in general do not have any issue of train make up because all of the cars are generally the same weight and type. Mixed freight trains are the most common types of trains on the main rail thoroughfares.

A mixed freight train I haul might have 25 heavy loaded lumber cars, 15 empty or loaded auto racks, 20 empty or loaded tank cars of various lengths, 30 empty or loaded covered hopper cars of various lengths, and 30 loaded or empty boxcars of two different lengths.

So for this example train of 120 cars. Lets say it weighs 7900 tons and is 9000 feet (2.75KM) long.

I am traveling along at 50 MPH.

The "head end" of the train has passed the bottom of the grade and the train is still descending the grade. As about half of the train leaves the grade I am looking ahead at the next grade to climb directly ahead. I have been using dynamic brake and need to "transition" from braking to power. I move the lever into the idle position and begin waiting my 10 seconds. In my my mind, from experience, I know that I need to rapidly, but gently begin notching through my power notches without allowing my train to accelerate past 50 MPH which I am restricted to.

The very head of the train is traveling around a slight curvature in the track. I also need to see that the next signal is green "clear" so that I do not have to formulate an entire other plan as a reduction of speed might be required instead. I see that the signal is flashing yellow "advanced approach". This will mean a reduction of speed to 40 MPH and a possible stop short of the second signal ahead.

As I am thinking of what I am to do next and waiting for the 10 seconds to pass, the next crossing becomes visible and I see that there is a truck hauling a low slung trailer with a heavy piece of equipment on it. He is blocking the crossing because his low slung trailer is stuck on the raised rail and crossing lumber that you drive across.

Without hesitation or further consideration, I slam the brake handle into the emergency position, dumping all the trainline air. I reach up and toggle the switch that ensures that the "End Of Train" device dumps from the rear as well. I bail off the locomotive air brakes because they are so powerful in a situation like this, that they can cause such a massive buff forces which will certainly derail a train. Additionally they can crumple or destroy the track beneath them.

While in earlier transition from dynamic braking to power "slack" had developed in the train. Slack is neither draft or buff, but more of a null position like rail cars standing in a yard not connected to a train. A developed space between cars where they are sort of relaxed.

As the air dumped from the train-line, the brake valves on each car sense this emergency and dump the full value of air contained within their emergency reservoir into the large cylinder that applies the brakes giving each car higher than usual stopping power.

Somewhere near the head end of the train a group of empty tank cars having such massive braking power begin to stop the train, but right behind them a group of heavy loaded hoppers presses against them, their own braking being less substantial. A tank car of Anhydrous Ammonia right between the groups which has been taking the brunt of these two opposing forces has a wheel that lifts off the rail as it is being pressed around a curve. This car, the car ahead of it, and nine of the loaded hopper cars behind it all leave the rail and head into a tiny quiet suburb in the middle of the night.

Half way back in the train where the most of the box cars are, they settle down for their stop. Still bunched because they were still descending the hill. The heavy loads of lumber fighting them as they come to a stop. Even though on straight track the, one end of an empty boxcar in the group begins to lift into the air. The opposing force of the heavy lumber cars and the stopping train ahead of it is too much. As it sets back down the wheels miss the track and begin to erase the track, all of the cars behind it having no track to ride on begin to take paths of their own in each direction.

Near the back of the train the auto-rack settle down hard. Harder than the group of heavy lumber cars ahead of them. This causes one of the long 500+ pound (230kg) draw-bars in the third auto-rack to be sheared from place. For a moment it tumbles through space, whistling though the wind in contact with only the air. Then it strikes a tie and the car passing above it in vaulted, only inches off of the rail, and a carload of new rangerovers tumbles end over end into a reservoir of drinking water.

The drawbar is angry, propelled by its last impact it drops onto the rail for a moment derailing a load of mini coopers, a load of corvettes, a load of ford diesel pickups, and a load of prius. The last of the autoracks ram into those derailed and the drawbar impales itself through the bottom of a boxcar piercing 20 cases of aged Glenfiddich.

Back on the locomotive, pressed forward by the loads behind, we cover the half mile to the stuck trailer in about 45 seconds. My conductor sees that the piece of equipment is a D9 Caterpillar bulldozer and screams like a woman as he jumps from his window at 35 mph. The fall from 15 feet in the air certainly would have killed him but instead he tumbled and struck feet first shattering his legs in 20 places and cartwheeling to his death as his head exploded when it struck the hard granite ballast some 20 times or so in the cartwheeling tumble. It takes 24 hours for them to find his body under crumpled boxcars.

I run out the back door to the second locomotive where I lay down in the cab. The impact at 35 mph is brutal. The second locomotive which I am on climbs under the front locomotive. The third locomotive does the same to mine. When the locomotive comes to a rest, is on its side, and both my arms are broken.

I drown, face down, in 200 gallons of brownish, blueish sewage from a chemical toilet long overdue for a cleaning. But my dignity is preserved because a fire from the combined 12,000 gallons (45.5 Kiloliters) of fuel burns for 3 days incinerating me and most of the locomotives completely.

The undocumented worker driving the truck with the wedged trailer disappears.

During the conductor's autopsy, trace amounts of THC from a brownie he consumed 3 weeks earlier while on vacation in Amsterdam are found to be the cause of the accident.

It was also noted in the government report that the cellphone of an engineer on a different train following ours was "on" at the time of our impact, and this may have contributed to the wreck.

# ? Feb 5, 2022 07:06

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# ? Jun 4, 2024 04:53

Laopooh: Jul 15, 2000

I read that whole train story everytime it's posted and never regret it. It's really well written and interesting.

# ? Feb 5, 2022 09:49

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