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reignofevil
Nov 7, 2008
easy 700 million at the box office

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Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009


and the next 10 colossi or so are just like a montage, and the central conflict of the movie is wanders confrontation with the priest guy that shows up for like 5 mins at the end.

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009


Cubone posted:

disney's shadow of the colossus

wander (played by tom holland, ryan reynolds, paul rudd, or one of the chrises) stands on a cliff overlooking the first colossus as awe-inspiring dramatic music swells. (pick one:)
a) the music cuts out and he goes "oh man. that thing? oh boy. wow. that thing's huge."

wander stabs the the first colossus...
b) black ichor sprays out into his face and he's like "pleh! spplt- bleh!" lol

the first colossus falls. wander...
c) starts laughing, exhausted but triumphant, and raising his arms in celebration, shouting "woo! that's what you get, baby! that's what I do! the sword goes where I put it and you die!" and does a slightly inappropriate sexually aggressive little dance

the formless black tentacles take him. wander says
3) "ohh... kinda tingly! hello there- agh!"

and he wakes up back in the temple. one of the statues crumbles. wander...
b) is momentarily pleased until he looks around. he counts the rest of the statues and goes "oh, mannn...." smash cut to him riding his horse and going "sixteen? sixteen!?"

Improbable Lobster
Jan 6, 2012

"From each according to his ability" said Ares. It sounded like a quotation.
Buglord

Space Kablooey posted:

and the next 10 colossi or so are just like a montage, and the central conflict of the movie is wanders confrontation with the priest guy that shows up for like 5 mins at the end.

There's fourty five minutes of the priests backstory as a high powered executive that wants to weaponize the colossuses

Space Kablooey
May 6, 2009


but his mom was ran over by a colossus so he's justified

Spermando
Jun 13, 2009
Also they will fill 45 minutes of the runtime with the priest being depressed on an island, talking cynically about the whole sealing Dormin thing, but then he gets over it in the end and does what we already expected him to do, but audiences think that his cynical phase is where the real message of the movie is.

Assepoester
Jul 18, 2004
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
Melman v2

Driftingmouse posted:

It's here, the 2022 nominations for this year's Razzies.

WORST PICTURE
 
Diana the Musical (The Netflix Version)
Infinite 
Karen
Space Jam: A New Legacy
The Woman in the Window

Randarkman posted:

The Razzies kind of suck.
I've never even heard of any of those except Space Jam 2




Jose Oquendo posted:

The two leads for Uncharted are horribly miscast.





Mr. Meagles posted:

Frankly a globetrotting, treasure-hunting adventure/mystery with interesting twists, exotic locales and exciting, real action setpieces sounds pretty fun. Sounds great actually. We'll have to see if dangling spiderman and mark wahlberg in front of a green screen for 2 hours can create the illusion of that.
The Sky Pirates bit from the trailer was actually new and exciting as these big budget action blockbusters go, a shame about the rest though

https://i.imgur.com/zEmXEwl.mp4

Assepoester fucked around with this message at 22:45 on Feb 7, 2022

Mordja
Apr 26, 2014

Hell Gem
The Righteous Gemstones is both the best comedy and the best drama airing right now, goddamn that last episode.

General Dog
Apr 26, 2008

Everybody's working for the weekend

Jose Oquendo posted:

The two leads for Uncharted are horribly miscast.

Maybe Tom Holland will age into it and Mark Wahlberg will price out of it and we'll find out from a post ITT in 2035 that Uncharted 5 (A Crackle Exclusive) is actually pretty fun.

infernal machines
Oct 11, 2012

we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

The United States posted:

The Sky Pirates bit from the trailer was actually new and exciting as these big budget action blockbusters go, a shame about the rest though

https://i.imgur.com/zEmXEwl.mp4

This is a step beyond FF level ridiculous.

It is profoundly stupid in a way that's almost difficult to qualify.

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost
that's a heckuva helicopter they've got there

infernal machines
Oct 11, 2012

we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.
Either those galleons are made of balsa wood or they've upped the lift capacity of the Air Crane by an order of magnitude.

It's not really a technical detail, its like a child lifting a tank.

stephenthinkpad
Jan 2, 2020

infernal machines posted:

This is a step beyond FF level ridiculous.

It is profoundly stupid in a way that's almost difficult to qualify.

It reminds of that Hugh Jackman Peter Pan movie. Holding out for Smelling Like Teen Spirit.

Jose Oquendo
Jun 20, 2004

Star Trek: The Motion Picture is a boring movie

Mordja posted:

The Righteous Gemstones is both the best comedy and the best drama airing right now, goddamn that last episode.

Agreed. I'm not sure how these same people brought us Halloween Kills.

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.

The United States posted:

The Sky Pirates bit from the trailer was actually new and exciting as these big budget action blockbusters go, a shame about the rest though

https://i.imgur.com/zEmXEwl.mp4

a CH-54 has a maximum load capacity of 10 tons

the internet tells me that a three-masted warship from the age of sail weighs anywhere between 150 and 1,000 tons

i'm mad

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
they're airships so they're mostly filled with air

priznat
Jul 7, 2009

Let's get drunk and kiss each other all night.
Also you totally would be able to hear marky mark yelling from the cockpit down to the ship under a set of gigantic helicopter blades

infernal machines
Oct 11, 2012

we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

stephenthinkpad posted:

It reminds of that Hugh Jackman Peter Pan movie. Holding out for Smelling Like Teen Spirit.

Are you ready for a tinkling acoustic cover of a gen-x rock song?

Sagebrush posted:

a CH-54 has a maximum load capacity of 10 tons

the internet tells me that a three-masted warship from the age of sail weighs anywhere between 150 and 1,000 tons

i'm mad

If only my disbelief could be suspended from those helicopters

Mozi
Apr 4, 2004

Forms change so fast
Time is moving past
Memory is smoke
Gonna get wider when I die
Nap Ghost

Sagebrush posted:

a CH-54 has a maximum load capacity of 10 tons

the internet tells me that a three-masted warship from the age of sail weighs anywhere between 150 and 1,000 tons

i'm mad

how about when that load is quickly swinging from side to side as the helicopter flies through a winding gorge?

Castor Poe
Jul 19, 2010

Jar Jar is the key to all of this.
How in the gently caress is Halloween Kills not in nomination for worst movie of the year?

DiHK
Feb 4, 2013

by Azathoth

infernal machines posted:

If only my disbelief could be suspended from those helicopters

:master:

LanceHunter
Nov 12, 2016

Beautiful People Club


Castor Poe posted:

How in the gently caress is Halloween Kills not in nomination for worst movie of the year?

Because the Razzies are lame, and much more interested in making GBS threads on things they think are weird than bad movies.

Escape Goat
Jan 30, 2009


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0DkuC2c8cs

Eight-Six
Oct 26, 2007

airships are cool you boring twits

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010

I watched The Kid Detective just there and had a massively visceral reaction to the final ten mins. Really good stuff.

Shinjobi
Jul 10, 2008


Gravy Boat 2k

Quantum of Phallus posted:

I watched The Kid Detective just there and had a massively visceral reaction to the final ten mins. Really good stuff.

Dude, for real. Just an absolute kick to the gut. I really loved that movie.

TheSwizzler
May 13, 2005

LETTIN THE CAT OUTTA THE BAG
Jeremy Renner traveling the midwest on his rennervated bike solving problems and standing up for the little guy

Rennergade

e: meant southwest but I'm keeping it

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010

can’t wait for the Jeremy Renner comeback of 2030 dubbed “the rennerssance”

TheSwizzler
May 13, 2005

LETTIN THE CAT OUTTA THE BAG
it's gonna be a hot year for him, disney better know what a star they have under contract

he might wanna rennergotiate

Light Gun Man
Oct 17, 2009

toEjaM iS oN
vaCatioN




Lipstick Apathy
https://twitter.com/KaelanRamos/status/1490759215828324364

poisonpill
Nov 8, 2009

The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.


Crennerble hawkusations of renneral harassment

Sydney Bottocks
Oct 15, 2004

Reremy Jenner

Quantum of Phallus
Dec 27, 2010

stop posting obvious Twitter bait I beg

FlamingLiberal
Jan 18, 2009

Would you like to play a game?



The United States posted:

I've never even heard of any of those except Space Jam 2



The Sky Pirates bit from the trailer was actually new and exciting as these big budget action blockbusters go, a shame about the rest though

https://i.imgur.com/zEmXEwl.mp4
How the hell did the movie manage to make the games look grounded in comparison???

Sedgr
Sep 16, 2007

Neat!

Been a bit since the last Pirates of the Carribean movie so maybe the props and effects were cheap?

Kingo Ligma
Aug 24, 2019

Ask me about calling people racist because I failed geography.

Firebert posted:

https://twitter.com/DiscussingFilm/status/1490777621726220288

They rehabbed his image that quick huh. Dunno who this is for.

A+ name tho

The name is giving me a loving seizure.

You do note renovate a car. You renovate a house.

Cars can be modified, restored, or rebuilt.

gently caress every talentless exec who signed off on this because their tiny brain stem was able to recognise the existence of a pun but not the relevance.

Kingo Ligma
Aug 24, 2019

Ask me about calling people racist because I failed geography.

Gripweed posted:

Imagine getting outsmarted by the title of a Jeremy Renner show.

Suck my piss fingers

The Anime Liker
Aug 8, 2009

by VideoGames
Rennerbation

Sagebrush
Feb 26, 2012

ERM... Actually I have stellar scores on the surveys, and every year students tell me that my classes are the best ones they’ve ever taken.
his "lifelong passion of building vehicles?"

is he a car guy? has he even done that before? where's the evidence that he knows what he's doing?

i thought prior to being arrow man he was a makeup artist.

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Gripweed
Nov 8, 2018
Women are wonderful animals, they should be making music and writing novels about having a complex relationship with your mother.

Kingo Ligma posted:

The name is giving me a loving seizure.

You do note renovate a car. You renovate a house.

Cars can be modified, restored, or rebuilt.

gently caress every talentless exec who signed off on this because their tiny brain stem was able to recognise the existence of a pun but not the relevance.

At no point does that tweet use the word "renovate". Nothing is being renovated. They are Renner innovations. Also commonly known as Rennervations.

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