r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for not Letting my Brother "Christen" my New Home's Bathroom?

quote:

This been happening since yesterday. I'm pretty sure I'm not the rear end in a top hat, but my family has me doubting myself.

Anyway, my husband (31M) and I (28F) just bought a house several days ago. It's really exciting; we've been living in his apartment for the past year which has been fine, but I'm really looking forward to having something that's truly ours. As you might guess, my family has been excited too. After we closed the deal, we went out to dinner with my Mom, Dad, and one of my brothers. Let's call him Kyle (30M).

Kyle has a story about him. Apparently when we all moved into OUR first house when I was about 4 and he was 6, Kyle was sick, and almost immediately after moving into the home, went to the bathroom and and took an absolutely nasty dump on the toilet. Afterwards, my mother turned to my dad and said, "Well, at least someone Christened the bathroom." That's it. That's the whole story. I've never found it particularly hilarious or anything, it's just one of those stories that your parents like to tell every few months and you smile and nod along. Kyle, on the other hand, absolutely loves the story.

Ever since then, whenever somebody in the family moves into a new home, Kyle insists on "Christening" their bathroom. He did it when I moved into my apartment, he did it when our eldest brother moved into his home, and I'm certain he did it when he moved into his own apartment. My parents also find it pretty funny that he continues to do this. At dinner, Kyle made a comment about looking forward to Christening the bathroom at myself and my husband's home. My husband obviously had no idea what this meant, and my parents and Kyle explained it to him. After hearing the story, he muttered something and then quickly moved the conversation along. Later that night, he told me in no uncertain terms that he thought it was a bizarre tradition and he did not want to take part in it. Even though I personally don't care either way (I find it stupid but harmless), it's a perfectly reasonable opinion to have, so I agreed with him.

I was talking to my mom last night, and when we discussed the dinner we'd had, she brought up telling my husband about the tradition. I told her that we would not be letting Kyle "Christen" our bathroom, and she tried to persuade me otherwise. I said no. I thought that was that, but since yesterday, she, my dad, and Kyle have all been texting me that I should follow the family tradition. I texted my eldest brother though, and he said I should stand my ground. And obviously my husband agrees with that. I don't really plan on changing my mind about this, but Reddit, AITA?

tl;dr My brother has a "tradition" of being the first one to poo poo in the residences people in my family move into because of a story about him when he was five. AITA for not wanting to follow this tradition?

# ? Feb 9, 2022 19:36

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# ? May 30, 2024 14:43

El Spamo: Aug 21, 2003; Fuss and misery

Kyle needs to flush that poop joke down the toilet. Just tell him that you beat him to it. And also to gently caress off with that noise, like they're going to make a date for him to come over and ceremonially poo poo in a bathroom.

Counterpoint, make it a HUGE deal. Friends invited, catering, balloons, DJ, the whole nine yards. And the bathroom doors are removed. He has to poo poo like a French King with everyone watching and commenting on the quality of the poo, applauding at each grunt, and photographing the ultimate result prior to letting the party walk through for a viewing. Conclude the whole thing with a choreographed ceremonial flush.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 19:43

dog nougat: Apr 8, 2009

Foo Diddley posted:

the alpaca is nature's unicorn

Sorry bud, that's the vicuña

# ? Feb 9, 2022 19:48

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

El Spamo posted:

Kyle needs to flush that poop joke down the toilet. Just tell him that you beat him to it. And also to gently caress off with that noise, like they're going to make a date for him to come over and ceremonially poo poo in a bathroom.

Counterpoint, make it a HUGE deal. Friends invited, catering, balloons, DJ, the whole nine yards. And the bathroom doors are removed. He has to poo poo like a French King with everyone watching and commenting on the quality of the poo, applauding at each grunt, and photographing the ultimate result prior to letting the party walk through for a viewing. Conclude the whole thing with a choreographed ceremonial flush.

Make Kyle pose for photos with the poo poo. Kneeling right down close to the filled bowl.

And if he can't perform, everyone starts freaking out about bad luck and starts urging the OP to sell the house because it's cursed. Also make it a black tie affair.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 19:49

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not Letting my Brother "Christen" my New Home's Bathroom?

When I moved into my first apartment my father almost poo poo his pants in front of my former in-laws because he wanted to �christen� the bathroom before me.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 19:51

El Spamo: Aug 21, 2003; Fuss and misery

Oh yeah and make sure to auction off the privilege of wiping his rear end. That should cover a mortgage payment or two.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 19:52

Hardawn: Mar 15, 2004; Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates; College Slice

Either I poo poo in the toilet or ejaculate on the bathroom mirror. The sacred ceremony must commence

# ? Feb 9, 2022 19:53

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Fish the turd out of the bowl and have it bronzed.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 19:53

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

Do you seriously think I'd invite you over if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I took that poo poo thirty-five minutes ago.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 20:00

Piell: Sep 3, 2006; Grey Worm's Ken doll-like groin throbbed with the anticipatory pleasure that only a slightly warm and moist piece of lemoncake could offer; Young Orc

AITA for planning a SOLO VDAY for myself as a married person

quote:

My husband recently let me know that he does not want to celebrate Vday. Typically, we would get each other cards, he would by flowers and chocolate (mostly for himself I don't really fancy chocolate) and then we go out to eat. He told me that we are not having enough sex and that he doesn't feel desired and since Vday is a supposed to celebrate love etc. he doesn't want to spend money on celebrating. What he didn't know is that I planned a spa day and lunch date. Now that he doesn't want to celebrate, I decided that I will take myself out instead. AITA?

EDIT - this is our first vday as a married couple.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 20:02

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for not sharing my inheritance?

quote:

So bit of background, I was a BIG oops. My bio-mom was a wealthy woman who apparently never wanted marriage or kids. She met my dad at a work event (same job type, different locations, not sharing specifics for anonymity) and they started seeing each other casually for a few months and then boom, her pill, the condom, and the plan b all failed to stop me from existing. My mother was going to abort me but my father begged her not to because he was actually MARRIED and was told his wife only had like a 1% chance of ever carrying a baby to term. She agreed only on the stipulation that she can give me up, no visitation, no parenting, nothing but child support and he and his wife reached an agreement and took me under the ruse she'd raise me as HER biological daughter. Needless to say I never met my bio-mom. But it doesn't get any better for me from there.

My step mom actually ended up having a miracle about a year after I was born. A son. My brother has NEVER treated me any different and I love him dearly but I could always tell I was never my parents priority. I more or less just kind of existed to be seen, never heard or really acknowledged unless it was something for the "family".

When I turned 13 I got the opportunity to meet my bio-grandma (mom's mom). She had no idea I existed and petitioned for visitation. I loved it so much with her that I asked if I could live with her. My dad and stepmom seemed happy to be rid of me and accepted. My bio-mom never visited her mom anyway (a rift over her not settling down and having kids). Well that was 6 years ago.

My bio-mom just died a month ago and surprisingly left EVERYTHING she owned to me with the stipulation that I go to school for business and better myself (according to her letter that the lawyer and trustee told me about). This is life changing money I'm talking I went from lowest middle class (grandma left everything to me, but it wasn't alot, just the house and a couple thousand) to a multimillionaire. Now my dad and stepmom are on my case to share the money. I have no idea how they found out as grandma passed last year (right after I graduated, it was her dream to see me graduate and she had been sick for a few years) and the only person I talk to is my brother but I never even told him.

Apparently they don't have the money to send him to an ivy league school like they've always wanted, but money is no longer an object for ME. I know they raised me for 13 years, but this money could really change my life. AITA if I don't share it?

UPDATE:

quote:

I'm not sure about the protocol of an update but I have one. I made an appointment to see the lawyer and trustee handling my bio-mom's estate. So the gist of the meeting ended with them telling me that how my mother wrote her will, in order for the inheritance to TRULY be mine, I have to go to business school. So I couldn't even give money to my dad and stepmom even if I wanted to, which, thanks to all of you, I learned I have no moral obligation to do and WON'T be doing. Plus, I talked to my brother and he doesn't even WANT to go to an ivy league school, he wants to go to art school and dad and stepmom REFUSE to pay for it. I offered to him that after I complete my business degree, which I'm going to do, I would be MORE than happy to pay for his art school. He graciously accepted and told our dad and it did NOT go well. They have threatened to disown him. They apparently want him to be a lawyer or doctor or something with a high salary so he can "take care of them" I guess. They had a massive blow out fight and he is now moving out of their house and into mine. While he's still in highschool, he is TECHNICALLY 18 now so I'm not sure if I'll get in trouble with the police, but I wasn't about to let my brother live in the streets! I've been driving him to and from school while still working until I can register for business school. Thank you to all who commented and offered advice!

# ? Feb 9, 2022 20:17

El Spamo: Aug 21, 2003; Fuss and misery

When RNGesus hands you a plate of figgy pudding, take it

# ? Feb 9, 2022 20:22

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

It's kind of heartwarming how Mom, Dad, Biomom, and Biograndma all seem to be various shades of poo poo but OP and their brother are going to come out well.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 20:25

The Maroon Hawk: May 10, 2008

Halloween Jack posted:

It's kind of heartwarming how Mom, Dad, Biomom, and Biograndma all seem to be various shades of poo poo but OP and their brother are going to come out well.

Yeah, that was actually kind of a nice ending

# ? Feb 9, 2022 20:28

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for not wanting my husband to go see Batman when our baby is due?

quote:

My (25F) husband (28M) and I are expecting a baby. As you may know, there is a new Batman movie releasing on early march. My husband is a big fan of that kind of stuff and wants to see it opening day. The issue is that our estimated due date is exactly on that day. I know that only a fraction of babies are actually born on the exact due day but I have always been very regular on my periods and I have a feeling that I may be one of those cases.

He says it is important to see the movie the first day because of spoilers and that, even I end up having the baby that day while he is watching the movie, at worst he would arrived a few hours late and is not such a big deal. He says I am being irrational and emotional because of being pregnant. I am upset because I feel deprioritize by him.

Am I the rear end in a top hat?

# ? Feb 9, 2022 20:37

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for walking out of my cousin's wedding?

quote:

I (45F) was recently contacted out of the blue by my cousin's (John,47M) daughter (Emily,23), who wanted to meet more of his family after he's been NC with all of us since his wedding about 25 years ago. He was apparently furious with her when he found out, and forbade any further contact unless we all apologize for walking out of his wedding.

John had been engaged to Rachel for about two years, and she was very lovely and sweet. All the family loved her, and really tried to make her feel like a part of the family. They'd come to holidays and birthdays for all the family, and we threw a party for her on her birthday. We didn't hear from them in the month or two leading up to the wedding, but we figured they were just busy with last minute planning, and none of us were in the wedding party.

On their wedding day, all of us (about 20 cousins, aunts/uncles, his parents were deceased) turn up at the venue to see signs for "John & Kristen's Wedding". We thought we were in the wrong place initially, until John came out and confirmed that it was the right wedding hall. John said that he'd called off the engagement with Rachel a month prior after "reconnecting with an old flame", and they decided to use the date to get married instead. We were all confused and upset, and while John was trying to calm everyone down I went and used the venue's phone to call Rachel. She said that two weeks before she had caught John cheating with Kristen, and ended things right then. She also said that John had refused to cancel what they could for the wedding and get back what money they could. Instead he used them towards this new wedding with Kristen.

Most of the family and I then walked out, saying that we were not going to stay for this bait and switch wedding, especially after he had treated Rachel so horribly and him not even telling anyone that he was marrying someone else. He said that it shouldn't matter who he was marrying, and that as family we had to stay and support him. We didn't, so he hasn't spoken to any of us for 25 years.

AITA for walking out of the wedding and not apologizing, even after 25 years?

# ? Feb 9, 2022 20:48

Uncle Enzo: Apr 28, 2008; I always wanted to be a Wizard

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not sharing my inheritance?

UPDATE:

I'm glad she has at least one family member who is with sharing with. She wasn't alone in the world when she had jack poo poo and now she isn't alone when Fate has smiled on her. Good for her.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 20:48

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for walking out of my cousin's wedding?

Apparently the Cousin told his daughter that the rest of the family just Hated Kristen for no reason and didn't attend the wedding. Upon finding out the truth the daughter is very mad.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 20:57

MarcusSA: Sep 23, 2007

Halloween Jack posted:

It's kind of heartwarming how Mom, Dad, Biomom, and Biograndma all seem to be various shades of poo poo but OP and their brother are going to come out well.

What did bio grandma do besides take her in when her home life was poo poo?

Also what did bio mom do that was poo poo? Well besides be rich I guess.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:07

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

MarcusSA posted:

What did bio grandma do besides take her in when her home life was poo poo?

Also what did bio mom do that was poo poo? Well besides be rich I guess.

it's not 100% clear how much is biomom and how much is biograndma but:

quote:

My bio-mom never visited her mom anyway (a rift over her not settling down and having kids).

suggests some degree of shittiness on one or both

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:12

Nebrilos: Oct 9, 2012

Piell posted:

AITA for planning a SOLO VDAY for myself as a married person

Does this genius husband think that going on an affection strike like this is going to make her MORE inclined to want to have sex with him?

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:19

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

For some reason I find the phrase "old flame" really maddening from anyone born after 1960

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:21

kntfkr: Feb 11, 2019; GOOSE FUCKER

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not wanting my husband to go see Batman when our baby is due?

My son was due on the release date of Hereditary and he waited one day to be born so my wife and I could see it in the theater with a couple friends. We called him Considerado before we chose a name.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:30

Yorkshire Pudding: Nov 24, 2006

Hughlander posted:

AITA for not sharing my inheritance?

UPDATE:

Grandma didn�t leave me much, just a couple thousand and a house.

Yorkshire Pudding fucked around with this message at 21:34 on Feb 9, 2022

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:31

limp_cheese: Sep 10, 2007; Nothing to see here. Move along.

Hughlander posted:

UPDATE:

I know this guy used a bunch of toilet paper but did the wife ever pay attention to the butter usage....

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:32

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AKA Pseudonym posted:

For some reason I find the phrase "old flame" really maddening from anyone born after 1960

They're talking about a wedding that took place 25 years ago. It's likely that they aren't born after 1960.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:33

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

limp_cheese posted:

I know this guy used a bunch of toilet paper but did the wife ever pay attention to the butter usage....

oh gently caress you

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:35

AKA Pseudonym: May 16, 2004; A dashing and sophisticated young man; Doctor Rope

Hughlander posted:

They're talking about a wedding that took place 25 years ago. It's likely that they aren't born after 1960.

Not if he's 47

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:39

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

MarcusSA posted:

What did bio grandma do besides take her in when her home life was poo poo?

Also what did bio mom do that was poo poo? Well besides be rich I guess.

Biograndma fell out with Biomom because Biomom didn't want to get married and have kids.

But Biomom's will insisted that OP go to business school, which suggests that maybe they fell out because Biomom is the same kind of crazy rear end in a top hat as Dad.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:42

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

If only there were some way to know when a person who is currently 47 was born...

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:43

External Organs: Mar 3, 2006; One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

haveblue posted:

Do you seriously think I'd invite you over if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I took that poo poo thirty-five minutes ago.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:52

DandyLion: Jun 24, 2010; disrespectul Deciever

Halloween Jack posted:

Biograndma fell out with Biomom because Biomom didn't want to get married and have kids.

But Biomom's will insisted that OP go to business school, which suggests that maybe they fell out because Biomom is the same kind of crazy rear end in a top hat as Dad.

And in the end they were in for a Bioshock

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:54

Solenna: Jun 5, 2003; I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not wanting my husband to go see Batman when our baby is due?

you would think the obvious situation would be he goes to see the movie and if the wife goes into labour she phones him and he stops seeing the movie and leaves to goes to be with her.

But if they had a basic ability to compromise like that I guess they wouldn't be posting on Reddit.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:56

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Solenna posted:

you would think the obvious situation would be he goes to see the movie and if the wife goes into labour she phones him and he stops seeing the movie and leaves to goes to be with her.

But if they had a basic ability to compromise like that I guess they wouldn't be posting on Reddit.

...how in any way is that a compromise? and you know that he wouldn't actually do that, rationalizing it with "Well, babies don't really often come out immediately after your water breaks so you can hold on for a couple hours until I get home"

It's a Batman movie. Just don't read the internet for a few days

# ? Feb 9, 2022 21:57

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

Solenna posted:

you would think the obvious situation would be he goes to see the movie and if the wife goes into labour she phones him and he stops seeing the movie and leaves to goes to be with her.

But if they had a basic ability to compromise like that I guess they wouldn't be posting on Reddit.

This is a good post lol

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:03

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

how the gently caress do you spoil batman, it's been creatively bankrupt for the better part of a century

he mopes about his dead parents then goes and beats up a clown. there, you never have to watch another batmovie again

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:11

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Yeah, but does he go down on Catwoman in this one?

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:13

External Organs: Mar 3, 2006; One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

Halloween Jack posted:

Yeah, but does he go down on Catwoman in this one?

Not if he wants to be a hero.... holy poo poo, batman is a villain! sry for the bat spoilers

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:15

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Seth Pecksniff posted:

It's a Batman movie. Just don't read the internet for a few days

...how in any way is that a compromise?

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:15

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# ? May 30, 2024 14:43

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

AITA for embarrassing a lunch thief at work.

quote:

So pretty much the title, I don't think I am the A but I've been getting some flack for it so I really want to clear this up.

So I started a new job recently I work in small studio, there are several others in the building, think open plan office with sections assigned to each studio. The person I had an altercation with doesn't work for my studio just FYI.

I eat lunch at 1ish and most people eat at 12. I came down ealry to eat at 12, I made coffee and while at the counter noticed my tuppaware in the sink, empty.

Imagine my surprise when I turned around and saw a man I didn't know sitting down at the table with my food on his plate. He had just stuck it in the microwave. Acting rashly since I was mad, I sat down next to him and said 'hey that looks good, mind if I try it?' Then before waiting for an answer I yanked the plate away from him and snatched his fork out his hand, he just blinked in shock as did the other people there as I started eating.

He then, quite loudly, asked what I thought I was doing and I replied 'huh you know this was actually much better when I first cooked it, it probably lost some flavor in the fridge.' he caught on quickly that it was it was my food and went a lil red. I then asked him where he got the gall to steal someone else's lunch and then ask them what they were doing when they took it back.

He stuttered out some nonsense about not knowing it was mine and I replied well you knew it wasn't yours right? He just mumbled something like an apology and I said that's no problem it was nice he'd warmed it up for me at least, in an admittedly b*tchy tone, and then he just got up and left and the people there just stared in silence. 2 of the silent watchers, maybe his mates idk, told me that I was rude to him and that there had been nicer ways to go about it. I told them to think how they'd feel if someone ate their food before saying they should focus on their lunch and I'll focus on mine.

Well it's been a little awkward at lunch since and I have the impression a few people are talking shite about me at work now, maybe I could've been nicer sure. I still don't think I was wrong but tell me reddit AITA

Tldr lunchthief tried to eat my food in front of me I took it back and embarrassed him in front of his colleagues.

# ? Feb 9, 2022 22:16

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