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Batterypowered7
Aug 8, 2009

The mist that chills you keeps me warm.

Captain Hygiene posted:

And so the thread finally wraps back around to the goon who adamantly argued a few iterations ago that it was perfectly normal, expected even, to poo poo one's pants upon surpassing the hoary old age of 30

I don't remember that, but I remember WampaLord being incredulous that people could hold in their farts.

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MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

If you haven’t poo poo your pants at least once you aren’t a real goon.

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

Mx. posted:

AITA for not asking my MIL nicely to hand over the baby for feeding?

wher is the acid bath

quote:

NTA. Find a safe place to get away. Can you go to your parents' house?

quote:

I could but my husband said he wouldn't allow it.

welp.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Batterypowered7 posted:

I don't remember that, but I remember WampaLord being incredulous that people could hold in their farts.

I can't 100% remember who it was, but it was definitely someone else. As I recall it involved one time on the subway and at least one other incident, when I questioned them on it they leaned into the whole "it's normal" argument pretty strongly.

External Organs
Mar 3, 2006

One time i prank called a bear buildin workshop and said I wanted my mamaws ashes put in a teddy from where she loved them things so well... The woman on the phone did not skip a beat. She just said, "Brang her on down here. We've did it before."

Mx. posted:

AITA for not asking my MIL nicely to hand over the baby for feeding?

wher is the acid bath

Fuuuuck that stupid dad

Yolo Swaggins Esq
Jan 29, 2015

oOoOoh 👀 a dapper little mouse🎩 🐀🕺🏻🕺🏻 a dAppER MoUSe🧐🐀 🚶🏿‍♂️🚶🏿‍♂️it’s a 🎩DAPPER mouse 👀✔️🐀🥾🏃🏽‍♂️🕺🏻🕺🏻🕺🏻🏃🏽‍♂️🐀💥
Is this when we all share stories of when we last poo poo ourselves?

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof
YOSYO: You Only poo poo Yourself Once

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:

Is this when we all share stories of when we last poo poo ourselves?

I think I got food poisoning and was about to puke and pushed my stomach too hard when I was kneeling over the bowl

Whoops! Wrong exit! Wasn't much but it was noticable

A Bakers Cousin
Dec 18, 2003

by vyelkin

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

YOSYO: You Only poo poo Yourself Once

Learning to not trust farts, a story in 1 act.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Mx. posted:

I (32f) am having a hard time feeling attracted to my husband (35m) due to his incontinence issues

What’s his user name?

TBH if it’s happening only when he’s really sick, we’re talking about something that happened 3 times over 10 years. Calling that incontinence is gilding the lily a bit.

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008

Batterypowered7 posted:

I don't remember that, but I remember WampaLord being incredulous that people could hold in their farts.

One of the best posts this thread, or maybe any thread, has produced. I learned something from it too because I was previously unaware that some people (or at least one person) are incapable of ever holding in a fart. It's always great whenever someone mentions a normal to them detail, completely unaware that it's actually loving crazy to everyone else.

I [25F] am getting upset at how much my boyfriend [24M] farts and it is causing issues with us

quote:

I can't even believe I'm posting this and I'm not joking.

My boyfriend and I have been together a little over a year. We recently moved in together. Now please know this, I am not the type of girl who thinks that people don't fart or poo poo. He and I are both comfortable to pass gas around each other and that's not the issue. In fact, most of my boyfriends farted around me and I didn't have an issue with it. I usually can at first appreciate it when someone is comfortable enough around me. I've dated plenty of guys in long term relationships where this was fine.

Obviously, farts smell bad. That is expected, every person I've ever met has stinky farts. But my boyfriends farts seriously turn my stomach and I could puke. It's never just like, a moderately or average bad smell, it's like something loving died in there. Seriously. And it's never like just a few a day. It's always ridiculous, huge, loud, loving oh my god I can't even explain it. Anyway, you get the picture, it's excessive and like 100x worse than anything ever.

Everything is great between us in every other aspect except this constant gas. One problem is, he doesn't loving ever take shits so it's like all saved up in there I guess just rotting away. I'm always telling him to eat more fiber and stuff and he even know he has a digestive issue but he barely eats fiber.

It's so loving annoying when we are in the car and he farts and I'm just trapped. There's always times when we are walking from the store to the car and he gets right in and farts and laughs, like you couldn't do that while you were standing outside wtf?

I feel like it offends him now that I openly expressive my annoyance of it, and I wouldn't even be annoyed if he didn't do it so much and if it didn't stink so bad AND if he didn't just always laugh. Now he gets offended when I'm mad about it and gets his feelings hurt. He's like "you should love it if you love me" sometimes I think he's half kidding but he definitely gets sad.

Am I really supposed to just accept this? I don't think so! Am I being unreasonable? Why should I have to smell this poo poo all the time it puts me in the WORST MOOD EVER. He acts like I need to just be accepting. I suggested he try bean-o and he looked like I just insulted his mom or something when I said it. Am I being unreasonable?

TLDR- my boyfriend farts smell like a loving poo poo and it's ruining our relationship because he thinks I should just accept it and love it. It's way worse than your average fart because he never shits and I don't know what to do.

Yorkshire Pudding
Nov 24, 2006
Probation
Can't post for 6 hours!

Yolo Swaggins Esq posted:

Is this when we all share stories of when we last poo poo ourselves?

I ate bad meat in mongolia, and all night I was puking and making GBS threads in an outhouse outside in the cold. It only had 2 planks across the hole to squat on and the hole (probably 20 foot deep) was so filled with poo poo it was about 5 inches from the planks. I had to alternate between squatting to poo poo and laying down on the ground with my head basically in the hole to puke.

Vim Fuego
Jun 1, 2000



Ultra Carp
What was the best thing you ate in Mongolia?

Pigsfeet on Rye
Oct 22, 2008

I'm meat on the hoof
There was also the AITA of the woman whose husband kept farting in the car during a long journey, it happened so much that she walked out on him after they got home and might have filed for divorce.

therobit
Aug 19, 2008

I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Vim Fuego posted:

What was the best thing you ate in Mongolia?

He just told you that if you’d read the post!

Foo Diddley
Oct 29, 2011

cat

wizardofloneliness posted:

One of the best posts this thread, or maybe any thread, has produced. I learned something from it too because I was previously unaware that some people (or at least one person) are incapable of ever holding in a fart. It's always great whenever someone mentions a normal to them detail, completely unaware that it's actually loving crazy to everyone else.

I [25F] am getting upset at how much my boyfriend [24M] farts and it is causing issues with us

quote:

Try getting him to take a probiotic and change his diet. At this point, you probably smell like his farts because you've been basting in them XP

quote:

This sounds funny but it's a thing that actually happens. Lived with an ex with a super poor diet. Our whole apartment and all our clothes smelt like sausage farts constantly. I didn't realise it was so bad until I made some new friends and they mentioned it...

lol

trickybiscuits
Jan 13, 2008

yospos

Hellblazer187 posted:

Some disputes aren't meant to be compromised. There's no compromise position for "hm what's the bigger priority birth of my first child or batman movie?" There's a solid, unwavering answer to that question for anyone who isn't a manchild.

A child is only born once, whereas there have been like twelve Batman movies in the past twenty years. He can just catch the next one a few years from now. (I don't know how people don't get burned out on/bored with what seems like the same thing over and over again.)

Vim Fuego posted:

I hear he punches the clown 3+ times a day
In the bathroom, with his laptop, for hours at a time


eta

Warning: estranged parent stuff. Pretty run of the mill but I thought the covid aspect was interesting.

quote:

However, my other two adult children have now rejected me. This happened over the last three weeks. My son sent an insulting letter to his father (my husband) and referred to both him and me by our first names in a disparaging way, accusing us of being “poo poo” parents. I have to admit that there were things we could have done much better in bringing up our children. However, the situation was complicated by grinding poverty and a dysfunctional relaltionship with their grandparents (my parents) who looked after them whilst I worked or sought work. Because of the amount of time my children spent with their grandparents, they grew up with their values rather than ours and openly stated that they preferred their home to ours. I was often unemployed and my husband earned a poor salary. Our home lacked carpets and good furniture. It was often quite cold in winter as we could not afford adequate fuel. Their grandparents home, by contrast, was warm and comfortable, with soft, comfortable armchairs and sofa. Differences in political values were a source of conflict: my husband and I were and are socialists, whereas my parents, who were formerly Labour, became Tory voters (we live in the UK). My parents also disrespected our decision to become vegetarian, and to bring our children up as such. I can remember my late father calling our diet “rubbish food”. We were the type of people who were and are intellectually curious, basically questioning everything, whereas my parents were the kind of working-class people who accepted the status quo and lived their lives according to it.

My younger children (daughter and son) are now 39 and 35 respectively (my firstborn is 41). My younger daughter has married into the middle class. Her husband is a senior lecturer in a university who has obtained a professorship. After some struggle with infertility, they now have a lovely little boy who will soon celebrate his third birthday. After a previous estrangement I established what I thought was a good relationship with my younger daughter over many years. I have been there for her when she despaired of becoming pregnant, I was there to congratulate her when she announced she was at last pregnant with my grandson. I supported her through that pregnancy, through a difficult childbirth and the first stages of motherhood. I visited her regularly, although she lives some 70 miles away. During the time I was there I helped her with housework and spent time with my grandson. I have supported her with money, and have purchased items of clothing for her and for my grandson. I have also purchased toys and books for him. Everything seemed to be going well, despite some hypersensitivity on her part about certain issues, which I did everything possible to avoid talking about, until Covid 19 appeared.

This led to a marked change in her attitude to me. I was no longer welcome at her home as I was suspected of carrying the virus. Her father and I tend to be sceptical about the value of lockdowns, mask wearing and, when it arrived, the coronavirus vaccine. We are ‘left lockdown sceptics’. When I made my views known to my daughter, she responded by suddenly cutting me off, stating. “I do not want my son to grow up in the company of someone as selfish as you”. This was totally unexpected and devastatingly hurtful. About three weeks later she phoned me as if nothing had happened. I accepted the reconciliation, although we did not meet. I purchased a videocamera around Christmas time, so that I could share some small part of Christmas day with her and my grandson. As the months went by and restrictions lifted I hoped that I could again visit, and although my daughter stated that she did not want me in her home, I hoped that with the warmer summer weather, we could meet in the open space. My daughter and her husband decided to accept the vaccine, and with this, the pressure on me to follow suit increased. I made it clear that I felt (and still do feel) that at present the vaccine is experimental. I was concerned that it had never at any time been tested on people in my age cohort. (Commenter is 73)

At the beginning of this month (August), after a somewhat frosty phone call from my daughter, who, again made clear that there was no prospect of meeting in person until I had the vaccine, I was sent a rude and nasty e-mail in which she stated that her son needed real contact with me and that as I could not provide it she was no longer able to maintain contact with me . She stated that he was at a stage in his development where he was not interested in brief phone calls or videocalls. She also stated that she was pregnant with her second child, and that she could not risk being around me owing to the health risk to her, her son and her unborn child that I presented. I was absolutely devastated and asked her to reconsider. She replied shortly afterwards stating that the decision had caused her tearful and sleepless nights but she felt she had no alternative but to cut me off. She then stated that she would always love me and wished me a good life. I then replied again, stating that a break with her and my grandson would make me “sad beyond words”. Her next, and last reply stated that she was at that moment losing her baby after she had been told at an antenatal examination that there was no heartbeat. I stated that I was shocked to hear that bad news and that my thoughts were with her. I said that I was there for her if she wanted to talk and gave her my mobile number (she already had this, but I thought that she may have forgotten it under the dreadful circumstances of losing her expected child). I also stated that although it cannot take away the pain, it sometimes helps to talk to someone who has had experience of that kind of loss. I said that I could do some research into organisations that might help that were local to her. I have heard nothing since, as she stated “do not contact me in any way, I want to grieve in private with my husband and son”. I feel really devastated by this. In three weeks I have lost my daughter, my grandson, and his uncle, my own son. None of them now want any contact with either me or my husband. My daughter had always compared her sister-in-law (husband’s sister), who is a hospital doctor, to me in a way that was grossly detrimental to me. Unfortunately, the sister-in-law works in a hospital in which there are people with severe coronavirus disease. To make matters even worse, around the time my daughter and son were ditching me, I had a mild case of coronavirus infection myself. It was like a bad cold and I am now fully recovered. Having had this ‘brush’ with the disease. I am now more fully convinced than ever that social policies that treat it as if it is the 21st century equivalent of the Black Death are very wrong. Conversely my daughter, her husband and my son are pro-vaccine, pro-lockdown zealots.

trickybiscuits fucked around with this message at 03:01 on Feb 10, 2022

Elissimpark
May 20, 2010

Bring me the head of Auguste Escoffier.

Mx. posted:

AITA for not asking my MIL nicely to hand over the baby for feeding?

wher is the acid bath

Solenna
Jun 5, 2003

I'd say it was your manifest destiny not to.

Hellblazer187 posted:

Some disputes aren't meant to be compromised. There's no compromise position for "hm what's the bigger priority birth of my first child or batman movie?" There's a solid, unwavering answer to that question for anyone who isn't a manchild.
I would actually agree with that. If she's in labour or already had the baby he should not see the new Batman movie. But if she's not in labour him being at home for a few hours vs at the movie theater or anywhere else for a few hours isn't really going to make a difference if he's nearby and willing to drop everything and go if she calls.

If she doesn't trust him enough to do that then there is a bigger problem.

Eta: ok yeah covid exposure is a big enough issue he shouldn't go to the movies. I guess my big thing is him leaving to do something he wants to do for a few hours should be something they can manage together.

Solenna fucked around with this message at 03:27 on Feb 10, 2022

Scags McDouglas
Sep 9, 2012

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

There was also the AITA of the woman whose husband kept farting in the car during a long journey, it happened so much that she walked out on him after they got home and might have filed for divorce.

This story sounds awesome.

I'd withhold judgment until I found out whether he was fast on the draw rolling down the windows (100% defensible) or leaving the windows up (divorce justified).

Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


trickybiscuits posted:

Warning: estranged parent stuff. Pretty run of the mill but I thought the covid aspect was interesting.

quote:

referred to both him and me by our first names in a disparaging way,

Rimmer : Snooty cow. She used to look down on me. She used to call me "Rimmer."

Lister : Everybody called you "Rimmer."

Rimmer : Ah, it's the way she said it, though. Rimmer. Rimmer. To rhyme with "scum."

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Solenna posted:

If she doesn't trust him enough to do that then there is a bigger problem.

I mean, he's definitively the type of absolute m*nchild to get whiny at the thought of not getting to see his superhero movie day one because of the slight inconvenience of being prepared to have a child on that day. I wouldn't trust him for a second to not shut off or just "not hear" his phone.

Grape
Nov 16, 2017

Happily shilling for China!

Solenna posted:

I would actually agree with that. If she's in labour or already had the baby he should not see the new Batman movie. But if she's not in labour him being at home for a few hours vs at the movie theater or anywhere else for a few hours isn't really going to make a difference if he's nearby and willing to drop everything and go if she calls.

If she doesn't trust him enough to do that then there is a bigger problem.

Eta: ok yeah covid exposure is a big enough issue he shouldn't go to the movies. I guess my big thing is him leaving to do something he wants to do for a few hours should be something they can manage together.

lol please do not rules lawyer late third trimester over Batman

Uncle Enzo
Apr 28, 2008

I always wanted to be a Wizard
The pregnant op could just go to the movie with him. Keep a bag in the car if they're paranoid.

He wants to sit in a dark room with good cell reception. It's not a hallucinogenic vision quest in Mongolia. His response time to a call should be just as good as if he's at work.

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Lol, my wife is about to pop but what about meeeee?

Uncle Enzo
Apr 28, 2008

I always wanted to be a Wizard
:shrug: it's going to be their last chance at seeing a movie together for quite a long time.

Forgive me if you're a mom of 5 or whatever, but there's nothing special about a due date. The baby could come well before or after. Our first was 11 days late before the doc induced. It doesn't help to wait around looking at your spouse's belly with a facial expression like a youtube thumbnail.

I really don't see how this is much different than her husband going to work, or grocery shopping.

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Uncle Enzo posted:


I really don't see how this is much different than her husband going to work, or grocery shopping.

Well it’s like the 18th remake of Batman for one.

Captain Hygiene
Sep 17, 2007

You mess with the crabbo...



Rereading it, she doesn't even care about it and he's preemptively making plans to just show up hours later if she has to go in. I don't even know why we're debating it, in retrospect.

Cobalt-60
Oct 11, 2016

by Azathoth
Goons bringing their own issues perspectives to other people lives is what keeps this thread going.

Hardawn
Mar 15, 2004

Don't look at the sun, but rather what it illuminates
College Slice
Contractions are such a long process. Sometimes even after the water breaks

Sandtrout Catsuit
Feb 15, 2008

They were all over his body now. He could feel the pulse of his blood against the living membrane.

trickybiscuits posted:

In the batroom, with his laptop, for hours at a time

Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


AITA for “rudely” inviting my SIL to leave and get some therapy for the way she kept talking about my child?

quote:

Using a new account, hoping her sister doesn’t find this because I know she’s on Reddit… My wife’s (32f) younger sister (24f) is in college in our area.

Her lease was temporary where she was living so she’s staying with us while she looks for a new place. Honestly I (30m) am not a big fan of hers. She’s kind of bratty? But what really made me not stand her is her attitude with our 10 month old son. Anytime the subject of my son/kids come up she finds a way to make it about her being child-free.

Example 1: when we announced our pregnancy to her family. Everyone was happy for us. Her reaction was “eww that’s so gross”. Then telling us sorry it’s just weird for her thinking about being pregnant and glad she’s never going to.

That already put us off and soured the moment. Didn’t change throughout my wife’s pregnancy so we ignored her. After our son was born she threw a fit because my in laws sent her a couple of pics and she called my wife asking her to tell their parents not to send her anything because not everyone cares about babies. We weren’t the ones who sent it to her but still mad at us for “shoving our baby down her throat.” My wife’s gotten mad about her attitude. Her folks say she’s expressing herself and not to take it personally.

When we let her move in it got worse. If my son cries she loudly says “oh my god shut him up see this is why- yada yada won’t have kids, etc.” “He’s so annoying, he’s so needy,” makes dramatic gagging noises when we’re feeding him fruits and tells us to take him somewhere else for that (which we don’t, my wife just tells her to loving deal with it).

I can understand someone personally not liking kids and never wanting any. What I don’t is going out of your way to always talk about how much you hate them.

Anything my son does she always has to say something. I don’t appreciate that negativity towards my child. Earlier my son hit his head and started crying. I calmed him down after a minute, w/o asking for her opinion she says you guys had months to abort, you did this to yourselves. So I snapped at her. That if she hates babies so much then she’s welcome to get the hell out of my house, don’t understand what deep hate she has for kids but maybe get some therapy because it’s one thing to not like them, it’s another to always wanna make it known how much you despise them.

And that I was tired of her annoying rants while she’s eating our food for free complaining about a baby while she’s acting like one herself.

So yeah it was quite a bit what I said. She didn’t say anything after but told my wife. Then their parents. And reason they think I was a jerk is because I threatened her living situation when she wouldn’t have any place to go right now and we’re her only option. My wife agrees with me which triggered an argument with her parents. I get she’s still young and dumb so that’s why I’m asking if I’m TA

Brawnfire
Jul 13, 2004

🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Mx. posted:

AITA for “rudely” inviting my SIL to leave and get some therapy for the way she kept talking about my child?

"w/o asking for her opinion she says you guys had months to abort, you did this to yourselves."

Nothing to add, just gently caress this person

Dazerbeams
Jul 8, 2009

Child-free people are that way because they feel threatened. How can they be the baby when they are competing with actual babies?

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Brawnfire posted:

"w/o asking for her opinion she says you guys had months to abort, you did this to yourselves."

Nothing to add, just gently caress this person

Yeah there is child-free and then there is whatever the hell this monster is.

That’s a pretty disgusting thing to say to a new parent.

Once the kid gets to like 15 they might just shake their head in agreement through.

Seth Pecksniff
May 27, 2004

can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Mx. posted:

AITA for “rudely” inviting my SIL to leave and get some therapy for the way she kept talking about my child?

Solution: continue to send her pics of babies until she blocks you

Problem solves itself

MarcusSA
Sep 23, 2007

Seth Pecksniff posted:

Solution: continue to send her pics of babies until she blocks you

Problem solves itself

Also kick her TF out.

wizardofloneliness
Dec 30, 2008

Dazerbeams posted:

Child-free people are that way because they feel threatened. How can they be the baby when they are competing with actual babies?

I think it’s this. She’s determined to be the most immature person in the house and she’s not going to let a baby stand in her way.

Mx.
Dec 16, 2006

I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!


AITA for blowing up when MIL brought an emotional support goat to my house?

quote:

My MIL has never liked me and we have real clashing personalities. My husband does have a spine and he does stand up for me but we’ve come to realize that he does need her in his life, so all three of us have come up with some compromises and boundaries.

MIL has PTSD and for most of the time I knew her it was very repressed but she recently had another traumatic event and is now struggling. She is very co dependent and has a hard time being around us without her husband, so I made a rule that she can bring one of her comfort animals. Honestly I’m a neat freak and not a huge animal person, but MIL can emotionally regulate better and resist the urge to bully me if she has a pet.

Well MIL came over the other day and brought a loving goat. I didn’t open the door for her or I would have stopped her but she led this goat through my house. She had a poo poo eating grin (sometimes I think she acts out so she can get kicked out vs having to admit she didn’t want to come) I immediately told her to get that goat the gently caress out.

MIL said but it’s her comfort goat. I snapped at her that her jokes aren’t funny and does she enjoy being a burden to her son. She clapped back that if she is a burden she will leave with her goat. I told her to go but my dad wanted to pet the goat so MIL ignored me and brought it over. I began shrieking at her and telling her to get out. I feel a little bad because I think I scared the goat. I ran to the door as she was leaving and told her to never come back.

My husband texted her to rip her a new one and MIL said that I said comfort animal and never specified. Then her husband posted a passive aggressive social media post with the goat and said “who wouldn’t love this face. Well actually someone today. Ignore the bitches, Owen (goats name)” My parents thought I overreacted but she has a long history of pushing my buttons for her entertainment.

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Cobalt-60
Oct 11, 2016

by Azathoth

Mx. posted:

AITA for blowing up when MIL brought an emotional support goat to my house?

I guess she really got her...uh...

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