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lol i didn't know that about his spouse. aside from the abysmal record, everything is coming up alvey
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Feb 10, 2022 00:25
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sam alvey sounds like he's winning in everything except his fights and that somehow isn't loving up his career.
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Feb 10, 2022 00:37
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Yeah, other Schevchenko. Sorry, brain is not great this week.
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Feb 10, 2022 00:52
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Even Akiyama got cut after going 2-6, and he was in the UFC specifically because Joe Silva hated him and wanted him to get beat up
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Feb 10, 2022 01:09
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Bluedeanie posted:Even Akiyama got cut after going 2-6, and he was in the UFC specifically because Joe Silva hated him and wanted him to get beat up I'll never stop laughing at the memory of Akiyama somehow getting outlanded by Jake Shields and losing the decision in Japan. He hit some cool judo takedowns though
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Feb 10, 2022 01:26
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Sam Alvey would've still been appreciated as a funny internet hero if his fights had stayed good, but in the jobber period of his career he adopted this style of sort of fighting flatfooted off the fence, but he still has enough power that a lot of people would get tentative about engaging him, so his fights became these incredible nothings. The Brendan Allen fight was basically Alvey staying in one square area and throwing counters. That seeded the ground for a character flaw to make him hated, and then the anti-union stuff came in and that wrapped it up in a fancy bow.
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Feb 10, 2022 01:49
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Always wondered why people hated alvey. Him being a scab is enough and now I understand.
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Feb 10, 2022 03:41
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Unperson_47 posted:Always wondered why people hated alvey. Him being a scab is enough and now I understand. Yeah that's pretty much the only thing that matters for me. The fact that he isn't doing well I can't hold against him too much, I mean he is competing with the tops in the world, but the fact that he gets to keep his job when others don't simply because he's a bootlicking scab is a great reason to not like him. Also I feel like I'm posting too much negativity in this thread, so let me say that Roxy is the coolest person in MMA, and I hope that, win or lose, for her and her alone anime becomes real.
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Feb 10, 2022 04:17
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Pb and Jellyfish posted:
izzy talked about how cool and good roxy was for like 90 seconds. that's practically an endorsement from goku e: if you don't like her, gently caress you - adesanya https://twitter.com/MMAFighting/status/1491521755374104581?t=LzOKBgIHqX1KLy4cI-Nm0w&s=19
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Feb 10, 2022 05:21
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Just learned that Frank Trigg plays one of the two fat Gamorrean guards in Boba Fett.
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Feb 10, 2022 05:30
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Freudian slippers posted:Roxy will retire after her UFC 271 fight on saturday, so here's a bunch of people talking about how incredibly nice and awesome she is: https://www.mmafighting.com/2022/2/...xanne-modafferi got around to reading this and it's cool as hell. she really was a pioneer and always someone i've rooted for. if she starts a career on youtube reviewing anime i will subscribe.
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Feb 10, 2022 08:34
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Eat This Glob posted:ufc released a bunch of people. sam alvey wasn't one of them Yeah I recognize all those names, definitely
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Feb 10, 2022 11:45
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Was it the roxy-barber fight where she heard barber had a banged up leg before the fight, and instead of using that to her advantage she avoided attacking it because she didn't want to cause permanent damage? Or was that a different women's fight?
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Feb 10, 2022 11:45
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She didn't know it prior to the fight, but she said that once she realized Barber's leg was busted, she avoided leg kicks/targeting the injury because her martial arts philosophy is to win while inflicting the least amount of pain possible.
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Feb 10, 2022 14:17
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https://twitter.com/arielhelwani/status/1491789874331930630
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Feb 10, 2022 16:38
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The Most Unwanted Card
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Feb 10, 2022 16:42
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Yeah that's pretty atrocious. The commission should step in to keep Manhoef from ever fighting again, and if nothing else to forbid Bader or Kongo from ever being on TV again.
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Feb 10, 2022 16:43
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loving yoel. can't wait. Caught up on the weekends card. Shavkat Rakhmonov kicked rear end and Battle vs Gore (these names ) was very funny. Skipped the alvey fight and watched the main event in bursts. The featherweight(?) fight erosa and peterson was also good. Pretty much a dogshit card though - you know its bad when bisping and felder are the most consistently entertaining part.
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Feb 10, 2022 19:08
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Make the card more cursed. Watch Bader or Kongo pull out and Yoel replaces them Bader vs Yoel and our new.....
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Feb 10, 2022 19:12
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I guess if every cut was prime rib there'd be nothing left for hot dogs but yikes, real floor sweepings coming up in Bellator Paris, fuckin Upton Sinclair rear end fight card
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Feb 10, 2022 19:19
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DoombatINC posted:Bellator Paris, fuckin Upton Sinclair rear end fight card There won't be a GDT but if there were....
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Feb 10, 2022 19:32
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Marching Powder posted:got around to reading this and it's cool as hell. she really was a pioneer and always someone i've rooted for. if she starts a career on youtube reviewing anime i will subscribe. Hell, me too!
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Feb 10, 2022 20:12
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If any of you boys are ever caught in the beginnings of a fight and you haven't prepared oil for your dome, consider just having the fight on a bowling alley instead https://twitter.com/iihustlee/status/1491747284437983237
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Feb 10, 2022 20:50
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Stealth Tiger posted:If any of you boys are ever caught in the beginnings of a fight and you haven't prepared oil for your dome, consider just having the fight on a bowling alley instead *slowly backs down the lane* "you use bumpers!"
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Feb 10, 2022 21:45
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Eat This Glob posted:*slowly backs down the lane* "you use bumpers!" lol
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Feb 10, 2022 22:57
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CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 4: IZZY AND TUI DOIN' A SHOOEY EARLY PRELIMS 3 PM PST/6 PM EST ON ESPN+ | PRELIMS 5 PST/8 EST ON ESPN+ | MAIN CARD 7 PST/10 EST ON PAY PER VIEW Welcome to UFC 271, the big card of the month. There is a lot loving happening on this one, so strap in. Or just skim the bolded parts. I promise I will not be sad.  The Tapology version of the card doesn't fit on one single page. MAIN EVENT: MIDDLEWEIGHT IS A FLAT CIRCLE  MIDDLEWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP: Israel Adesanya (c) vs Robert WhittakerMiddleweight is a real funny division. At one point in the very recent past it looked like one of the most frightening shark tanks in the entire sport, and then people retired, or moved to light-heavyweight, or left for Bellator, or became shells of their former selves, and now in 2022 its hottest rising contender is either a really boring psychopath or an unranked dude who alternates between 170 and 185 every other fight, Paulo Costa is ranked #5 despite missing weight for the division by twenty pounds, and the most compelling and potentially threatening matchup for the champion is a rematch with the guy he took the belt from two and a half years ago who earned his rematch thanks to victories over a former welterweight who's 1-2 at middleweight and a guy who should be a welterweight who's 1 for his last 6. It's a hosed up division. But it's a testament to both of these dudes that no one really cares, because the fight's going to rule. Israel Adesanya is a marvel, and much like Anderson Silva before him, the division's apparent weakness is also a testament to how stupid he tends to make it look. A 75-5 kickboxer and a 5-1 boxer, Adesanya switched to MMA fulltime in 2016, was signed to the UFC in February of 2018, and was its world champion by April of 2019, making him the fastest success story in the promotion's history (unless you count Ronda Rousey, technically). His rise wasn't just meteoric in speed but in how effectively he outfought his opponents, as his striking expertise has let him fight extremely stiff competition and humiliate them, sometimes in the figurative sense of dismantling and knocking them out, sometimes in the more literal sense of, say, making Paulo Costa trip all over himself and dry-humping him after easily defeating him. He's unquestionably one of the greatest strikers in mixed martial arts, and he's also a weirdo nerd who named himself after Avatar (the good one) and does Naruto hand jutsu or signs imaginary Death Notes before his fights start. He was born to be loved by the internet. Robert Whittaker is doomed to be unjustly underrated forever. Rob went from a middling welterweight to an undefeated middleweight whose wrestleboxing style, smart fight adjustments and vicious striking accuracy carved a bloody 9-fight streak through the Jacares and Derek Brunsons and Yoel Romeros of the world during middleweight's aforementioned shark tank phase, but he was entirely underrated and underpromoted by the UFC because of Michael Bisping's extremely unlikely world championship reign, a title he very pointedly did NOT want to defend against the Robert Whittakers of the world, seeking instead to get revenge on a retiring 82 year-old Dan Henderson (which he very nearly still lost) and challenge greatest of all time Georges St-Pierre to come out of retirement a whole weight class up (which he DID lose). So for all of his hard work against the actual threats of the division, Whittaker was given TV cards and an interim championship. Having finally won that, at least, he had the GSP unification fight to look forward to--and then GSP retired, meaning Whittaker was just quietly promoted. Despite technically holding the world championship for 660 days, Robert Whittaker doesn't even have a title defense to his credit--because his challenger missed weight. And then, Israel Adesanya happened, and Whittaker was forgotten entirely. Their first fight was not, in any way, close. Whittaker seemed to be getting off to a decent start with leg kicks and crosses, but it very quickly became apparent Adesanya was just catching his timing and once he had he leveled Whittaker at will. The big catch, or at least the one Whittaker has most commented on, is that in the time between these two fights Adesanya suffered the first loss of his MMA career after getting outworked and outwrestled by Jan Błachowicz at light-heavyweight. Whittaker is, in fact, a multiple-time wrestling champion in his native Australia, and grappling was a thing he didn't even attempt in their first fight. A blueprint has been laid out for beating Adesanya: Can Robert Whittaker follow it? Probably not. Israel Adesanya by either decision or late TKO. Robert Whittaker has looked great in his post-Adesanya fights, but he still, fundamentally, looks like Robert Whittaker: His best success comes from a) rights or high kicks set up off his jab and b) his ability to quickly dart in, blitz, and dart out. He's not going to outjab Adesanya, as much for technique reasons as the 8" reach disadvantage, and his darting attacks worked in the first fight right up until the moment Israel timed them and dismantled him every time he tried it. His wrestling is a weapon he'll absolutely need to rely on to break Adesanya's defense, but Jan Błachowicz got away with it because he was a much bigger, stronger fighter, and the precious few times Rob entered the clinch with Izzy, he got shrugged aside with ease. I love my man Bobby Knuckles, I would adore it if he got to have his own Cinderella story here, but I just don't think it's likely. MAIN CARD: BEER IN A SHOE AND A CONSPIRACY NAMED Q HEAVYWEIGHT: Derrick Lewis vs Tai Tuivasa This, unbeknownst to anyone, is a championship fight. Tank Abbott was one of the UFC's first fan favorites. He was a big, pudgy, bearded brawler who had just enough technical skill to know he didn't want to use a single bit of it because his greatest success came from focusing on just punching people in the mouth as hard as he could. His adulation earned him a heavyweight title shot, which he lost badly. In doing so, he placed a curse on the UFC's heavyweight division. No matter how the sport grows, no matter how technical or accomplished the fighters, each heavyweight generation must have a pudgy brawler--each generation must have a Tank Abbott--and the curse cannot be lifted until one of them wins the belt. When Abbott left the UFC in 2003, his mantle fell to Paul "Don't Fear Me, Fear The Consequences" Buentello, who got his shot at Andrei Arlovski only to be humiliated in fifteen seconds. Paul Buentello's final UFC fight was March 21, 2010, and just a few months later Mark Hunt arrived in the organization and became its new beloved brawler. Mark Hunt's own run ended when Fabricio Werdum knocked him cold, and while Hunt fought and seemingly battered Derrick Lewis, he was, in truth, just passing Tank's spirit into his body--and Hunt never won again, but Lewis got a championship bout just one year later, where he, as is tradition, was humiliated. Derrick "The Black Beast" Lewis is still the lineal Tank Abbott Curse holder. He's had two title opportunities, now, and both times he got rolled, but he's still here, and he's somehow still ranked #3 in a division that's very likely about to be sans champion, and he's still absolutely capable of taking anyone's head off with a single punch given one single opportunity. He's fought expert strikers, he's fought powerful wrestlers, he's fought world-renowned submission artists and he's punted them into the third row based on his strengths of "can punch" and "if taken down, will just stand up." He's big and pudgy and looks like he's out of breath thre eminutes into every fight in his career, and somehow, he not only persists, but thrives. But he's also 37 and nearing the twilight of his career. Tai "Bam Bam" Tuivasa is a young, vital, 28 year-old, and he's pudgy, and he's a brawler, and he's coming for that Tank Abbott title. After a three-fight skid that took up his 2019 he's now on a four-fight knockout streak including one particular highlight over habitual poo poo artist Greg Hardy, he's ranked higher than he's ever been in his career, and he's looking to make a big, big jump from #11 to #3 by taking on the Tank King himself. On paper, it's a hell of a match: Two big, tough brawlers with similar strengths, similar weaknesses, and an overwhelming desire to throw themselves at each other facefirst whilst winging violent haymakers. Who, at the end of the day, will be the one true Tank Abbott? Uh, Derrick Lewis. Like, probably extremely Derrick Lewis by knockout. Tai Tuivasa is a kickboxer who chooses to brawl: Derrick Lewis is a loving brawler. Tai is absolutely the kind of fighter who likes to charge in when he thinks he has the advantage and fight with reckless abandon, and Lewis has an entire cemetery's worth of people he's dusted doing just that. The great irony is I think Tai actually has an excellent chance against Lewis if he chooses to actually use his kickboxing skills to their fullest: He's shown a capacity for great leg kicks and tight, compact punches and the ability to string them together, and he could absolutely pick Lewis apart. But that would require Tai Tuivasa to avoid a brawl, and I just don't see that happening. MIDDLEWEIGHT: Jared Cannonier vs Derek Brunson Last week I wrote that Sean Strickland was almost certainly the next title contender if he beat Jack Hermansson. That did not take into account the likelihood that he would turn in so uncharacteristically anemic a performance that he spent most of his post-victory interview apologizing for it. This has opened up an opportunity for someone else to seize the spot, and this fight is very likely to fill that role. Jared "Killa Gorilla" Cannonier is kind of a monster, possibly best exemplified by the fact that, despite being 5'11", he made his UFC debut in 2015 as a heavyweight. He is, in fact, one of the extremely rare fighters to hold knockout victories in the UFC at three different weight classes. He's deceptively technical, with long punches and devastating leg kicks as evidenced in his making Anderson Silva's knee explode, and he's extremely tough as evidenced in his fighting for 13 minutes with a broken arm against Robert Whittaker, but his best successes come from his combination of very good counter timing and obscene power. The caveat, as there is always one: While he's very difficult to control on the ground, his takedown defense is shaky. The additional caveat: Jared Cannonier is a huge conspiracy rear end in a top hat who believes in crystal powers and Qanon and Antifa being a George Soros army and that Bill Gates created the coronavirus. Derek Brunson is a fighter very few people expected particular success from, which is hilarious in hindsight. He's 14-5 over almost ten years in the UFC and one of those losses was a ludicrous decision, leaving his legitimate losses against Yoel Romero, Robert Whittaker, Jacare and Israel Adesanya, some of the best in the division's history. Brunson has always been historically underrated, and this particularly thin time for middleweight has allowed him to finally shine a bit, with his mixture of clean striking and wrestling skills taking him back into the top five. He's got an experience advantage over almost everyone in the division and his skillset makes him a problem for every type of fighter. The caveat: Brunson's defense is sloppy, and he gets caught and wobbled even in the fights he wins. So, unfortunately: Jared Cannonier by KO. Much as I don't want to pick him, Brunson gets hurt by basically every single person he fights, and Jared Cannonier is too good at striking to miss those windows and too powerful a striker not to hurt him. Brunson will probably still get him on his back at least a couple of times, but Cannonier's gotten up from under better wrestlers and grapplers than Brunson and he's going to still have significant power three rounds into the fight. Take your win and your pyrite and get the gently caress out. BANTAMWEIGHT: Kyler Phillips vs Marcelo RojoThis fight is going to rule. Kyler Phillips fights like kind of a crazy person. He has a broad, broad arsenal of attacks and likes to eclectically mix them, moving from orthodox boxing combinations in one moment to spinning wheel kicks and flying knees in the next, and he ties them together with quirky sweeping takedowns and an extremely quick ground game. He's also battle-tested in the UFC already: He's 4-1, with his only loss a majority decision against Raulian Paiva that could extremely easily have gone his way. If there's a patch on his style, it's that his constant switching tends to leave openings people touch him through, not that it has particularly bothered him. Marcelo Rojo has only had one fight in the UFC, but that's not his fault: The poor guy had three fights booked in 2021, two of them had opponents withdraw for undisclosed reasons two weeks before the show and one was scratched at weigh-ins after his opponent botched his cut. What's worse, in his one UFC fight he looked very good, controlling the very skilled, very tough Charles Jourdain for two rounds only to get hurt in the third and ultimately knocked out with just 30 seconds left to his probable decision victory. He's essentially the modern fighter archetype: Well-rounded, clean technique, solid gas tank and a chin that has to get tapped a couple dozen times before he goes down. All of that being said: Kyler Phillips should win a decision. Kyler is actually the heaviest favorite on this entire card, and on paper I see why: He's faster than Rojo, he's a good match for him on the feet, and his grappling game seems more than capable of disarming Rojo if he finds any traction. LIGHTWEIGHT: Nasrat Haqparast vs Bobby Green Nasrat Haqparast has been something of a hype disappointment. I remember regional MMA fans bubbling about his UFC debut as a potential future champion, with his extremely solid all-around talents, konckout power and very smart gameplanning. And then he lost his debut. And then put three wins together and got knocked out by Drew Dober in a minute. And then put two wins together and got controlled by Dan Hooker. Now Haqparast has entered the speculative gatekeeper territory where people wonder if he just looks great against lower-tier competition, and he could very much use another impressive win. Unfortunately, he's fighting Bobby Green. Bobby Green is entering his fourteenth year of mixed martial arts, and I have been ride or die on him for about nine of those. Green is one of the greatest rarities in the sport: A genuinely talented defensive fighter. He parries, slips and counters better than almost anyone, and it shows, as in 40+ fights and three separate decades of competition he's only been stopped on strikes once, and that was against Dustin goddamn Poirier. Bobby Green's true, crippling weakness is, and has always been, judges. His counterfighting style is so inexplicably poisonous to MMA judging that decisions that should have been clear go against him with shocking regularity. This past August he had a prelim headliner against Rafael Fiziev featuring a third round where he outstruck Fiziev and nearly knocked him out twice, and one of those judges STILL scored the round against him. Which makes this possibly a dumb call, but I still think Green wins a decision. Nasrat hasn't shown any striking chops that would give Green trouble, and Green's wrestling and grappling defense are more than solid enough to keep the fight standing. He should, all things being equal, disarm and outland Nasrat handily. And then he might lose a decision anyway, because we live in a sin-cursed world. PRELIMS: SEE YOU, SPACE ROXY HEAVYWEIGHT: Andrei Arlovski vs Jared Vanderaa Andrei Arlovski has been fighting since 1999. It's insane that he's still here and is still somehow sending prospects back to the regional circuit. He's a multiple-time world champion, he's got a great, rounded skillset, and regardless of what revisionist history wants you to believe, he was kicking Fedor's rear end before his stupid flying knee. He's a guy who's looked like his career was entirely over several times, and he is still here, throwing 1-2s and protecting his chin a lot better than he did when he was younger. And Jared "The Mountain" Vanderaa, by contrast, is just sort of a very average heavyweight. He's got a black belt in jiu-jitsu, but watching him fight, his main method of using it is just sort of lumbering forward and bowling people over. Arlovski takes a wide decision. Vanderaa's main method of attacking is coming in straight, winging kicks and trying for brute force clinch takedowns, and Arlovski's too good on the ground for that to work. Vanderaa's best hope is dropping him with idiot heavyweight power, but Arlovski's defensive work has improved in recent years and I don't think Vanderaa has the technique to get through it, but that's also going to require Arlovski to be mobile rather than sitting down on his punches. So, decision. WOMEN'S STRAWWEIGHT: Roxanne Modafferi vs Casey O'Neill Casey O'Neill's going to win a decision and it probably won't be hard. That's not what we're really here to talk abount, though. Roxanne Modafferi has made it clear that, win or lose, this is her retirement fight. It'll be her 50th fight (if you include her fights on The Ultimate Fighter, which you should), she's turning 40 this year, she's been going since 2003, the time has come, and large swaths of the MMA community are doing sort of a combined celebration/mourning about it. MMAFighting put together a great oral history piece on her that you should very much read: Freudian slippers posted:Roxy will retire after her UFC 271 fight on saturday, so here's a bunch of people talking about how incredibly nice and awesome she is: https://www.mmafighting.com/2022/2/...xanne-modafferi But I wanted to blab about it here, too, because Roxy rules and has always ruled, and this is the last chance I will get to write about her. When I first started paying attention to mixed martial arts there were only a handful of female fighters anyone could name in the world--people like Megumi Yabushita, Jennifer Howe, Erica Montoya--and not only was Roxanne Modafferi one of them, even at the time she stood out as a weird aberration, someone who didn't look tough or athletic or carry a demeanor of violence. She was just a martial artist. And even then people were weirded out by how nice she was. This sport is exhausting to follow. The promoters are often terrible human beings, the fighters are often shitheads, the careers are either tragically short or tragically long and the grudges are intergenerational. Roxanne Modafferi was never a world champion, she was never an ultra-slick grappler or a canny knockout artist, but she was a pioneer of the sport who stayed competitive with the changing guard for twenty goddamn years, which is insanely rare, and she did it not just without making any enemies but by becoming such a standard of kindness and respect within the sport that fighters used people liking or not liking her as a litmus test for who was trustworthy. It's an incredible accomplishment and an incredible career for a giant nerd from Nevada who loved a sport that didn't really exist yet. She's probably going to lose, because Casey O'Neill is a lot faster and cleaner and stronger, but the thing with Roxanne is that's been true since the beginning of her career and that hasn't stopped her from surprising people. I do not know if she will surprise us this time. I do know I will miss seeing her fight, I will miss somehow still being shocked when she beat people, and I will miss the sport's unequivocally kindest person. Godspeed in your future endeavors as a youtube anime reviewer.  FLYWEIGHT: Alex Perez vs Matt SchnellAlex Perez got choked out by Deiveson Figueiredo in his first title defense and then immediately got snakebit by the MMA gods, sitting out the entirety of 2021 with four separate fights scratched thanks to COVID or injuries or bad weight cuts. Here's the fun part: Three of those scratches were all different attempts to make this specific goddamn fight. I get why, though. It's not only a very relevant fight to the title picture, it's going to be a loving banger. Both dudes are forward-pressure fighters with very clever ground games, Perez tends to be a little more varied on the feet and Schnell tends to be a little more aggressive pursuing the ground game. Schnell has been cracked in previous fights and the oddsmakers see it happening again; Perez winning by TKO is the most favored outcome. So I'm gonna pick Schnell by submission, because I'm an idiot. I think this is the card's big upset. Perez mixes things up well, but a big part of his mix-ups include the threat of takedowns and ground control: I think Schnell is a more dangerous grappler and he's going to make him pay for it. LIGHT-HEAVYWEIGHT: William Knight vs Maxim Grishin You'll know William Knight if you've seen him before, he's the guy who's almost as wide as he is tall and appears to eat dianabol for breakfast. He likes big hooks, big leg kicks and big takedowns. Maxim Grishin is a Fedor-adjacent fighter out of Russia and he fights very similarly: Long, lean jabs and pecking leg kicks mixed with Sambo clinch trips. Despite being 6'3" to Knight's 5'10" there's only a 3" reach differential between them because bodies are weird and hilarious. Long man vs wide man: Who wins? I think Knight will take it by TKO. Grishin's a much larger man and logically he should be able to keep Knight at bay with his jab, but he's also shown a weakness for being physically overpowered and lit up in the pocket, and those two things are essentially William Knight's entire reason for existing as a fighter. Knight is also clearly supplementing his muscle steroids with conditioning steroids, as he's managed to fight a full 15 minutes multiple times and the only time he gassed was when Da Un Jung was also beating the poo poo out of him. I see Knight successfully bullying Grishin. EARLY PRELIMS: NO MORE WORDS, JESUS CHRIST BANTAMWEIGHT: Ronnie Lawrence vs Mana Martinez Ronnie Lawrence is a wrestling stylist with real neat polish throws and suplexes, and he'll also throw spinning wheel kicks and overhands but they're mostly there to distract you from takedowns. Mana Martinez is a brawler who likes to go wild with flurries and tends to get taken down for his trouble. Also, his nickname is "Manaboi," so he reminds me of every bad person I've ever grouped with in an MMO. Ronnie Lawrence takes a wrestley decision. LIGHTWEIGHT: Alexander Hernandez vs Renato MoicanoIt is insane that this fight is buried in the early prelims. Both of these dudes are action machines and both are talented, tough fighters on the cusp of the top 15, and shoving them into not even a premier slot on the early prelims is ludicrous. Moicano has a more rounded striking arsenal and a more dangerous grappling game, but Hernandez has solid defensive wrestling mixed with great boxing combinations and hits like a loving truck, and tight boxing has been a real problem for Moicano lately. Hernandez by TKO but it should be really loving fun while it lasts. LIGHT-HEAVYWEIGHT: Carlos Ulberg vs Fabio Cherant It's the battle of big dudes with weird nicknames, as "Black Jag" Ulberg takes on "Water Buffalo" Cherant. I'm pretty sure the UFC intends this as a tune-up fight for Ulberg: He's one of their Contender Series favorites, they spent a lot of time in his debut fight talking him up as an athlete and model like he was the new Shogun and they were very happy about his success up to the point where he got knocked out. Cherant is a very tentative grappler who's 0-2 in the UFC and has shown a susceptibility to getting Stand and Banged to death, and that's what the UFC wants to happen again. They're probably right. Ulberg by TKO after punching Cherant a bunch. MIDDLEWEIGHT: Jacob Malkoun vs AJ Dobson The UFC would very much like AJ Dobson to win this fight. AJ Dobson is their new Contender Series baby who likes to wing wild hooks, Jacob Malkoun is the guy they let in by mistake because they saw a 4-0 Australian middleweight and assumed that meant he was a brawler, but the fine print states that he is, in fact, a Randy Couture clinch wrestler. This is the even-odds pick 'em fight for the card, so in the spirit of that I put a treat on either side of my sleeping dog and woke her. Rosie says Jacob Malkoun will win by decision. She ate Dobson too, afterwards, whatever that means. BANTAMWEIGHT: Douglas Silva de Andrade vs Sergey Morozov Why the gently caress is THIS the second early prelim? Sergey Morozov is a 17-4 world champion and Douglas Silva de Andrade is borderline top 15. Jesus christ. DSDA is a violence elemental from the John Lineker school of wild, furious and often ceaseless punching. This brings him success, but it also makes him sloppy and prone to getting taken down. This is a problem against a guy like Sergey Morozov, whose greatest strength is chaining boxing combinations into takedowns and who has only gotten beat by people better at grappling than he is. Sergey Morozov drags out a grapply decision. WELTERWEIGHT: Jeremiah Wells vs There's more hype for this fight than basically anything else on the prelims, and it's all because of Blood Diamond, who has personally asked to be referred to by that rather than by his name. He's only 3-0 in MMA, but he's Israel Adesanya's training partner and is City Kickboxing's Jose Aldo story, a poor kid who couldn't afford training and thus lived in the gym and did chores in lieu of payment. City Kickboxing says he's had 100+ kickboxing fights, and I cannot confirm that, but I have watched six and he seems decent. Which is fortunate, because the UFC did not give him an easy in: Jeremiah Wells is a legitimately good fighter who made a short-notice debut last year and shockingly upset Warlley Alves with a second-round knockout. Either they have a lot of faith in Blood Diamond or they want to gut check him right off the bat. Either way, I think Wells controls him on the ground and submits him. Blood Diamond has literally only had one fight against someone who wasn't a rookie, and that fighter was also a pure striker. If he wins this, it will be genuinely impressive.
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Feb 10, 2022 23:53
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Thank you Carl this is the first I’m hearing about the Tank Abbott Curse and it represents everything I love about MMA
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Feb 11, 2022 05:18
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the roxanne tribute was kind of beautiful
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Feb 11, 2022 06:56
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It made my room fill with dust for some reason, my eyes kept watering.
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Feb 11, 2022 07:29
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Here's how Roxy can win, and we can help  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aM6pMD0GznE
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Feb 11, 2022 07:40
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Yo please go over to the goonweight thread and check if your scores for last week are correct or not, I had to gently caress with the spreadsheet quite a bit to get it to support more than 6 fights (and incidentally, more than about 70 participants), I'm not sure I got it right so please let me know if there's any mistakes.
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Feb 11, 2022 08:31
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CarlCX posted:CARL'S FIGHT BREAKDOWNS, EPISODE 4: IZZY AND TUI DOIN' A SHOOEY Thanks for another excellent breakdown! This really makes me look like I know what I'm talking about when I watch the show with my buddies.
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Feb 11, 2022 08:59
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i think the worse the fight is, the more chance whittaker has. izzy's got the anderson thing of really loving hating having to lead, and being much worse at it than he is on the counter, and if whittaker makes it a really slow, tentative, kinda lovely fight, i think he's got a real chance. he probably won't though.
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Feb 11, 2022 12:43
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actually it was bad because my boy whittaker is going to win
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Feb 11, 2022 12:52
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Bluedeanie posted:edit with an important psa: I misremembered the name of the Cockmongler. If you google "cock monger" you WILL find pornography. Please use Incognito Mode and proceed at your own risk Fozzy The Bear posted:I don't know what "muerte culo" is, but I search for it, and the images are all porn. Just a warning for the next guy. much appreciate both of your services. are there any other terms for me to definitely avoid? feel free to pm me if you don't want to post it here
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Feb 11, 2022 13:20
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Yoel-Melvin is great matchmaking. does Bellator test or can both these guys juice up for this fight?
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Feb 11, 2022 13:21
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DO YALL WANT A BOXC posted:much appreciate both of your services. are there any other terms for me to definitely avoid? feel free to pm me if you don't want to post it here Let's just say "petite Mexican eats poo poo" won't get you gifs of the Mighty Mouse Cejudo 1 finish. Please learn from mistakes
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Feb 11, 2022 15:40
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DO YALL WANT A BOXC posted:Yoel-Melvin is great matchmaking. does Bellator test or can both these guys juice up for this fight? i feel like melvin's a few more bad knockouts from turning into gary goodridge 
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Feb 11, 2022 16:01
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Another thing about Roxy is that she has been fighting for 19 years, has been on my radar for 11, and first entered the big stage 7 years ago, and in that time she has milkshake ducked exactly once saying something transphobic, with like one throwaway ignorant single statement, and unlike 99.99999% of MMA fighters (or really, of human beings) didn't double down on it. I can't remember if she apologized but she hasn't said or done anything but be super cool on either side of that one moment. Like, for someone who gets put on a mic and interviewed and has a public media presence, that's unbelievable. She basically deserves a stained glass window in the church of MMA with Dustin Poirier and Charles Oliviera.
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Feb 11, 2022 16:05
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MMAJunkie posted:Maxim Grishin (206) vs. William Knight (218) LMFAO
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Feb 11, 2022 16:53
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