r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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jazzyhattrick: Jul 1, 2010; by Jeffrey of YOSPOS

Mx. posted:

AITA for asking my boyfriend to stop emulating Winnie the Pooh?

Congratulations on being Xi Jinping's girlfriend I guess.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 12:32

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# ? May 29, 2024 16:03

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

therobit posted:

AITA for kicking my wife out and keeping her daughter?

Hoooo boy. Get thee to a lawyer and pray the dude was sufficiently sketch to duck the birth certificate.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 12:42

keep punching joe: Jan 22, 2006; Die Satan!

It's called Porky Pigging.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 12:43

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

I�ve heard it called Donald Ducking here

# ? Feb 11, 2022 12:44

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

teen witch posted:

I�ve heard it called Donald Ducking here

It was called winnie the poohing in "always be my maybe" a year or two ago, so maybe he heard it from there.

Kind of weird to be pearl clutching over seeing your own intimate partner's dick. I'd be more concerned about poo poo from his doubtless unwiped rear end getting everywhere. Unlike formal naturalists, I doubt he carries a towel around to put down before sitting.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 13:00

The Bramble: Mar 16, 2004

keep punching joe posted:

It's called Porky Pigging.

I was about to say OK Boomer, but I guess Winnie the Pooh predates even Porky

# ? Feb 11, 2022 13:08

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

therobit posted:

AITA for kicking my wife out and keeping her daughter?

I know it's a whole thing but I'm getting very stdh vibes here?

teen witch posted:

I�ve heard it called Donald Ducking here

Also in Deadpool 2.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 13:08

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

girl why don't you like looking at my hundred acre wood

# ? Feb 11, 2022 13:24

Das Boo: Jun 9, 2011; There was a GHOST here.
It's gone now.

Don't got a hog, that's a Piglet.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 13:40

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Evil Willow posted:

And it just gets better!!!

Can I take legal action against my girlfriend for kicking me out?

Please call our legal advice team at 1-800-BOO-HOOO, ext. WAAH

# ? Feb 11, 2022 13:48

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for what I told my mother In Law when she asked to be in the delivery room?

quote:

My husband (m33) & I (f30) are expecting a baby boy, We're barely catching up with preperation and getting everything ready. His mom (kind of a busy body type but can be helpful at times) invited us for dinner and said she has an important request to make.

She brought her request up at dinner table and blatantly said that she wanted to be in the delivery room with me when I give birth. I was taken back by her request -- I really thought it had something to do with the nursery or diaper brand. I said I was sorry but only my mom and my husband will be there. She made a face, got quiet for a while then brought it up again. just kept pushing saying she is as much of a grandmother as my mom and that she just wanted to be there for support and get the opportunity to see her grandbaby's first moments. my husband sided with her.

I just stared at her and said "it's alright, you can have the opportunity to be in the delivery room when it's your son who's giving birth". everyone stopped eating and my mother in law left the table in an instance. My husband had me got up although I wasn't finish with dinner but he said we should leave.

In the car, he lost it on me asking "what brain cell" made me think it was a good idea to tell his mom that. I told him his mom kept pushing after I'd already given her an answer. still he said this was the most hosed up poo poo he heard me say. I replied that I was just frustrated and didn't mean to hurt her feelings and cause issues. he argued that if I don't want issues then I should stop making poo poo difficult and just say yes to his mom's request. he then ranted about how it's his son too and then said if his mom isn't allowed in there then he won't be there too. now I don't know if he really meant this or just said it in the hear of the moment but it had me fuming.

He's been ignoring me when I try to talk to him and act like I'm not in the room. I think I might have gone too far and created tension by responding inappropriately. AITA?

EDIT/ there has been some tension between me, my husband, and his family lately this probably blew up because of built up resentment

# ? Feb 11, 2022 14:19

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

I've seen some of the most stupid and vicious fights imaginable over who gets to be in the delivery room, including in my own family. The mother gets to choose who gets to see her vagina dilate, no ifs ands or buts

therobit posted:

AITA for telling my daughter to butt out of my personal life and asking her to stay with her mom?

Maybe he needs to butt out of his daughter's personal life by not loving people she personally knows?

# ? Feb 11, 2022 14:26

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

therobit posted:

AITA for kicking my wife out and keeping her daughter?

Pete has levelled up.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 14:45

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for telling my Fianc�e�s �friend�she isn�t my problem and I don�t care about her feelings?

quote:

My fianc�e and I are getting married in 2023. My best friend (and best man) is going to have a year old kid by the time of our wedding and he and his wife are planning on coming from out of the country to support us so we decided to have the kiddo be the ring bearer.

Over the weekend my fianc�e had some friends over. Her best friends sister, let�s call her Abby, came too. Context: Abby briefly dated my best friend in uni, she cheated on him and he kicked her rear end to the curb. It�s ancient history but I�m not fond of the girl in full transparency. So my fianc�e and her friends were hanging out talking wedding things and they got a bit tipsy and my fianc�e starts yelling excitedly for me to bring the mini tux photo.

My buddy sent me some pics of tux onesies for his kid, our ring bearer, to get fianc�e and I�s approval of what we wanted them to get so that�s what she wanted. I came in and showed them and they all were going crazy over how cute it was. Suddenly Abby grabs my phone out of my hand and practically screams in my face �WAIT HE�S YOUR BEST MAN!?� I get she was tipsy but it really pissed me off. I took my phone back and told her to not yell in my face. So she turns to my fianc�e and loudly says �you can�t let him (me) invite him!�

My fianc�e looked puzzled and her best friend was just like �Abby, that�s his best friend� chill out.� Then this girl starts crying and says she�s going to have such and awkward time if he�s there and she�s single. It was ridiculous. I just left and went back to the living room and I heard her sister tell her to grow up so I thought it was dealt with.

A few hours later she cornered me in the kitchen while I was grabbing a beer and started begging me to not invite my best friend (to my own GD wedding) she told me it would trigger her anxiety and that if I cared about her feelings and really am a mental health advocate (mental health is huge to me but not when it�s weaponised) I would at least have him just be a guest. I was loving floored by her audacity. I told her she wasn�t my problem and I didn�t care about her feelings on this. I also told her I�d have a better time personally if she didn�t come so maybe she shouldn�t if it would impact her mental state.

Well she started crying again and ran and told all the girls. My fianc�e says she doesn�t think I did the wrong thing necessarily but that I didn�t need to be so harsh. Some of the other girls gave me dirty looks as they were leaving. I�ve been feeling guilty because usually I wouldn�t speak to someone like that but I felt she was really crossing a line. AITA?

# ? Feb 11, 2022 15:14

Ethiser: Dec 31, 2011

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling my Fianc�e�s �friend�she isn�t my problem and I don�t care about her feelings?

How can a one year old be the ring bearer? Does someone have to carry them down the isle? Do they crawl?

# ? Feb 11, 2022 15:18

Benagain: Oct 10, 2007; Can you see that I am serious?; Fun Shoe

adult escort + bait of some kind at the end of the aisle. My wedding we had a 2 year old sprinting towards us for cheese and it was hilarious.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 15:28

Chef Boyardeez Nuts: Sep 9, 2011; The more you kick against the pricks, the more you suffer.

The wedding is a year out. Kid will be toddling. Also if they go rogue and wander around like an old Family Circus cartoon it's somehow more adorable.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 15:30

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Ethiser posted:

How can a one year old be the ring bearer? Does someone have to carry them down the isle? Do they crawl?

Tie the ring to one of the baby's hand and a rope to the other.

When the time comes, the celebrant pulls the baby down the aisle.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 15:39

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Benagain posted:

adult escort + bait of some kind at the end of the aisle. My wedding we had a 2 year old sprinting towards us for cheese and it was hilarious.

At my sister's wedding, the toddler ringbearer set my sister's hair on fire at the reception. That kind of thing is only something to be horrified at (well, before and afterwards, not so much in the moment) if you're obsessed with ~*MY PERFECT DAY*~

# ? Feb 11, 2022 15:41

B-Rock452: Jan 6, 2005

Ethiser posted:

How can a one year old be the ring bearer? Does someone have to carry them down the isle? Do they crawl?

My two year old got overwhelmed and couldn't calm down when she was tasked with being the ring bearer at my bil's wedding. Ended up having to carry her/the ring. In theory little kids being ring bearer can be cute but I had to carry her like a mile back to our hotel room since she was too worked up and couldn't get a ride from anyone since the reception was going on

# ? Feb 11, 2022 15:44

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

There's a reason they have childfree weddings, having kids at them means accepting chaos, whether you mean to or not.

I do remember in the middle of my uncle's wedding to my then visibly pregnant aunt, six year old me piped up in genuine realisation literally as they're walking down the aisle "Are they getting married because they're gonna have a baby?!"

# ? Feb 11, 2022 15:46

therobit: Aug 19, 2008; I've been tryin' to speak with you for a long time

Ghost Leviathan posted:

There's a reason they have childfree weddings, having kids at them means accepting chaos, whether you mean to or not.

I do remember in the middle of my uncle's wedding to my then visibly pregnant aunt, six year old me piped up in genuine realisation literally as they're walking down the aisle "Are they getting married because they're gonna have a baby?!"

LMFAO

Cythereal posted:

At my sister's wedding, the toddler ringbearer set my sister's hair on fire at the reception. That kind of thing is only something to be horrified at (well, before and afterwards, not so much in the moment) if you're obsessed with ~*MY PERFECT DAY*~

Everyone�s going to remember that wedding reception at least.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 16:09

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

therobit posted:

Everyone�s going to remember that wedding reception at least.

It wasn't actually as exciting as it sounds. :v:

The tables had actual candles on them, and the restaurant provided a big sheet of paper and crayons for my little cousin to occupy herself with. One thing lead to another and my sister leaned over the table to fetch some crayons that had rolled out of my cousin's reach and one of her tresses caught on fire. It was put out in under thirty seconds and no one was hurt, just some burnt ends.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 16:15

El Spamo: Aug 21, 2003; Fuss and misery

Invisible Clergy posted:

It was called winnie the poohing in "always be my maybe" a year or two ago, so maybe he heard it from there.

Kind of weird to be pearl clutching over seeing your own intimate partner's dick. I'd be more concerned about poo poo from his doubtless unwiped rear end getting everywhere. Unlike formal naturalists, I doubt he carries a towel around to put down before sitting.

It's called shirtcocking, a common plague at burning man. If you're going to be hanging dong take your shirt off.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 16:15

ShootaBoy: Jan 6, 2010; Anime is Bad.
_{Except for Pokemon, Valkyria Chronicles and 100% OJ.}

Invisible Clergy posted:

It was called winnie the poohing in "always be my maybe" a year or two ago, so maybe he heard it from there.

Kind of weird to be pearl clutching over seeing your own intimate partner's dick. I'd be more concerned about poo poo from his doubtless unwiped rear end getting everywhere. Unlike formal naturalists, I doubt he carries a towel around to put down before sitting.

Its not 'pearl clutching' to not want to see your partners genitalia 24/7, hth

# ? Feb 11, 2022 16:25

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

It's not real winnie the poohing until he's eating handfuls of honey out of a big jar

# ? Feb 11, 2022 16:38

BIG FLUFFY DOG: Feb 16, 2011; On the internet, nobody knows you're a dog.

ShootaBoy posted:

Its not 'pearl clutching' to not want to see your partners genitalia 24/7, hth

get a partner with better genitalia imo

# ? Feb 11, 2022 16:40

Raymond T. Racing: Jun 11, 2019

My old roommates had their dog as the ring bearer and he sat quietly in the aisle next to the two of us who were in charge of him before it was time for him to run up the aisle

I highly recommend

# ? Feb 11, 2022 16:42

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

The whole point of having toddlers act as ringbearer/flower girl is because you expect them to do crazy toddler stuff. It's the whole point.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 16:46

Scags McDouglas: Sep 9, 2012

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for telling my Fianc�e�s �friend�she isn�t my problem and I don�t care about her feelings?

Unpacking this story, when the best man found out his girlfriend in the story was cheating I can almost feel the tears-on "me me me" defense she employed.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 16:49

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

if you really care about me, your wife's friend's sister

I wonder what was going through the heads of the girls who mean mugged him on their way out. Were they mad because they honestly fell for her bullshit, or were they mad just because now they have to deal with her?

# ? Feb 11, 2022 16:55

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Yes. The blame goes to whoever put a stop to the none-of-us-like-this-person-but-we-all-put-up-with-their-bullshit train, because it both brings the situation to a head and makes the rest of them feel stupid.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 16:58

El Spamo: Aug 21, 2003; Fuss and misery

I'm guessing because he put his foot down and didn't mince words about it. I agree that he was harsh, and I also think it was appropriate to be harsh. She was clearly over the line herself with her demand. So she probably came back out all bloo bloo he was SO MEAN.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 17:02

dog nougat: Apr 8, 2009

Lol.

dude posted:

I told her she wasn’t my problem and I didn’t care about her feelings on this. I also told her I’d have a better time personally if she didn’t come so maybe she shouldn’t if it would impact her mental state.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 17:07

Scags McDouglas: Sep 9, 2012

lol

quote:

I've (21M) been married for a year to my wife (26F) and I'm still a virgin. What do I do here?
I'm not sure if this is the right place for this or not, so I apologise if it isn't.

My (22M) wife (26F) and I got married in February of last year (2021). We had a small ceremony due to Covid restrictions and our Honeymoon was cancelled due to the same issues.

We'd been dating for 4 years prior to getting married and in that time we haven't had sex or anything close to it. We've kissed and cuddled and things like that (all good and I like doing that) but we've never done anything...more. She told me that she was waiting for marriage, which is fine and I was happy with that as I have always thought that we'd get married.

Fast forward to the wedding day and I'm am about to explode from excitement. Firstly, I'm marrying the woman of my dreams. Secondly, we finally get to have sexy time! The wedding itself was really nice, pretty basic in a small chapel, close family only, then back to her parents house for a meal. We then went back to my wife's house and I was ready for it, but she said she was too tired after a long day. No problem, what's one more day? I wake up the next morning and she's gone out already, no idea what time she left, and just a note on the fridge.

That was almost a year ago. Every time I've tried to broach the subject she's either too tired, upset, not in the mood, or some variation of it. She's called me obsessed with sex as I was asking most days at one point, but how can I be obsessed if I've never had it? I've taken her on romantic date nights and as soon as sex is mentioned she's "put off" because it should be "spontaneous". So I tried spontaneously engaging, but she accused me of attempting to sexually assault her if she didn't give consent prior. I'm so confused.

I've grown closer with one of her friends over the last few years (I'm also good friends with her younger brother) and I was out for a coffee with her during the week and she asked how the bedroom life was going (something she talks about with reference to herself, but I often deflect when she asks about my experiences). When I confessed that we had never done anything she was really shocked. I thought "who wouldn't be shocked about a married couple where they're both still virgins?" but no, she was shocked because her friend, my wife, was incredibly promiscuous before she met me and has done all sorts of things with all kinds of different people. She estimates at least 14 lovers that she knows about.

This has left me even more confused. Am I just undesirable? Why did she marry me if I'm not attractive? I waited 4 years to get married and have sex with the woman that I love, and now I'm still waiting! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Edit: I had a birthday in late January. I'm actually 22.

Edit 2: A lot of people seem to be going straight to the annulment or divorce, however I still love my wife, and we've been together for around 5 years (4 dating, 1 married), so I'm looking for advice to fix this, not to run away from her. I appreciate the concern, but I'm here for advice on the relationship, not a way to get out of it. I still want to thank you for taking the time to read and comment.

stop saying annulment, I need fresh reasons to stay deluded

# ? Feb 11, 2022 17:09

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

I don't care if we're dating or not get your dick or vagina off my drat sofa.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 17:15

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

drat, the annulment post hit the comment limit inside of 3 hours.

# ? Feb 11, 2022 17:25

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for threatening to uninvite my mom to the wedding when she expressed doubts about my fianc�e?

quote:

My mom genuinely isn�t overbearing. This is a one time incident and not a pattern. 99% of the time she is disinterested and off doing her own thing.

I am getting married soon and my mom and fianc�e seem fine. They have nothing in common and aren�t quite friendly but they see fine and like I said we don�t see my mom much.

Recently I had dinner with my mom without my fianc�e and my mom said she just wanted to express her concern one time and she�d drop it, but she was very concerned that I was marrying an accountant and she was worried I�d cheat.

I asked for clarification and my mom said it�s just so boring that she was worried. I pointed out that she is literally married to an investment banker and she said that was different. She said she just wanted to put it out there that she grew up watching my grandfather tear apart so many families with his cheating and me marrying an accountant made her uneasy, but she did say she�d drop it.

I snapped at her that she can mind her own business or not come but she will not disrespect my relationship. My mom said I was crazy and if she can�t have a real conversation she is just going home. I said it�s fine but don�t bring it up again.

I talked to my dad (not her current husband and they don�t get along at all) My dad said I overreacted and if she only crossed boundaries one time, I should have let it go. He said it was a valid concern and he wouldn�t marry an accountant either. My mom whines to her sister and BIL who also said I was too sensitive and she had a �valid point�

ETA- just to be clear I�m the man in the relationship. My fianc�e is a woman