r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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Hughlander: May 11, 2005

AITA for threatening to kick my brother and his new wife out of my rental when his wife tried to take over my nieces room?

quote:

I have a rental that my brother has lived in since 2016 and currently pays $1200/month rent. He has 3 children (18, 24, & 24). The oldest 2 live on their own and the 18 y/o is a senior in high school.

He got married in December and moved his new wife and her 3 kids in. The issue is my niece does not like or get along with her step siblings or stepmom. WW3 broke out when her stepmom tried to take her room from her. Nieces "room" is a finished basement and with its own living quarters and a separate entrance. SIL wanted it for her son who is 22 and still lives at home. My brother had not made a final decision and I really don't know which way he was leaning. My niece called me in tears and told me her stepmom told her that she would be giving up the basement and to accept it.

I called my brother and told him I found it unacceptable that his wife was trying to take his daughters room away and put her good for nothing son in there. He told me to mind my own god drat business and hung up on me.

I proceeded to email him and tell him that I was considering 2 options. I would raise his rent to $3000 a month if my niece moved out and I would mind my own god drat business. Option #2 I evict all of them and niece stays put and I mind my own god drat business. I also told him I did not want his stepson living there at all period. If he was there 30 days from now I would start eviction proceedings.

This got his attention and he backed down completely. He was angry with me, his daughter, and angry with his wife and he told SIL to never mention it again and told his stepson to find his own place.

Problem solved told my niece to call me if her stepmom caused her any trouble. My brother has went and told other family members how I interfered and if I just let him handle it he would have resolved it himself. He says his marriage is now in the ditch and no one is talking to each other now. Some how that is my fault? Did I involve myself when I shouldn't of? The only place where I think I might be an rear end in a top hat is when I told him to kick his stepson out because this made issues worse with his wife.

Oof.

# ? Feb 13, 2022 21:16

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# ? May 28, 2024 12:06

Frequent Handies: Nov 26, 2006; ��

1200/mo in rent for a place that includes a living space with a separate entrance, helluva deal. Good on him for telling 'em to gently caress off with that plan.

# ? Feb 13, 2022 21:50

nunsexmonkrock: Apr 13, 2008

But what if it's in like mississippi or something? Is it still a good deal?

# ? Feb 13, 2022 21:55

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Hughlander posted:

AITA for threatening to kick my brother and his new wife out of my rental when his wife tried to take over my nieces room?

Oof.

"If you don't treat your daughter with respect I'll treat you like a tenant"

# ? Feb 13, 2022 21:58

Frequent Handies: Nov 26, 2006; ��

nunsexmonkrock posted:

But what if it's in like mississippi or something? Is it still a good deal?

Considering he said he'd raise it to 3k I somehow doubt 1200 is not a good deal. Not raising the rent for 6 years means there's a helluva lotta room given what rent has done across the entire country in that time.

pentyne posted:

"If you don't treat your daughter with respect I'll treat you like a tenant"

# ? Feb 13, 2022 22:11

kimbo305: Jun 9, 2007; actually, yeah, I am a little mad

trickybiscuits posted:

Adam's a little turd, I did an internship at 35 and thought nothing of it.

If it's a tech internship in the wealthy tech area, it might have a decent chance at covering the rent. If it's unpaid, then gently caress that company.

# ? Feb 13, 2022 22:25

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Adam's definitely a little turd, but no one should do an unpaid internship.

# ? Feb 13, 2022 22:33

Nebrilos: Oct 9, 2012

Hughlander posted:

AITA for threatening to kick my brother and his new wife out of my rental when his wife tried to take over my nieces room?

Oof.

You don't think that is a terrifying amount of control for a landlord to hold over their tenant? "Raise your kids according to the way I choose, or I'm tripling your rent!" Why are you okay with this? What if it was a Christian landlord annoyed that their step-nephew had stopped going to church, or something?

# ? Feb 13, 2022 23:25

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

He�s giving his family a cheap place to rent, trying to pretend that�s even close to what your suggesting is kind of gross

If you don�t want to deal with family don�t rent from family

# ? Feb 13, 2022 23:26

Uncle Enzo: Apr 28, 2008; I always wanted to be a Wizard

Propaniac posted:

[PA] Employee (me) stuck in building

There's good reasons to try and avoid calling the cops if possible, but if you need the Fire Department? Pick up that phone

# ? Feb 13, 2022 23:31

Evil Willow: Apr 26, 2007; Bored now...

AITA for taking an apartment for myself even though it means a single mom and her kids could be homeless?

quote:

I (26F) have been living in a townhouse that I absolutely love for about a year now. For some background, I was in an abusive relationship a few years back. He stole my identity and rented out multiple apartments in my name. They all ended in evictions. I had been fighting in court to get them expunged in early 2020, so you can fill in the blanks with what happened to my court dates.

I finally have a few expunged but I�m still not able to rent easily. I was homeless for almost two years until I found this house. The thought of losing it destroys me.

My neighbor Jackie (36F) is a single mom of three kids. She �can�t work� because she doesn�t like living in areas you wouldn�t need a car to get around in and can�t drive thanks to a DUI. So, she catfishes men and begs for money for a living. It isn�t exactly a stable income. She�s been on the verge of eviction for the last year because she never pays on time. I love her dearly, however she and her kids can be extremely loud and rude. She also has a (poorly trained) dog and has multiple animals that she doesn�t care for. Because of her evictions, criminal background and lack of money, moving wouldn�t be easy for her either.

Our landlord recently sold our building and was under the impression the buyers wanted to keep us as tenants. We found out after closing that they�re kicking everyone out at the end of our leases to remodel so they can raise the rent.

My soon to be former landlord has another building with one apartment unit a few miles away. He told me he knows it�ll be hard for me to find somewhere else to go and offered me that apartment at a slightly below market rate to make up for it.

My neighbor found out and started calling me an rear end in a top hat for accepting the apartment when she has nowhere else to go. She called our landlord an rear end in a top hat for offering it to me instead of a family. I understand where she�s coming from, however from a landlord�s perspective he could choose to take on someone who�s always caused problems or someone quiet that�s always a few months ahead on rent.

She also mentioned that since it�s two bedrooms and I live alone that we should split it. I�m a full time student and work 50 hours a week on top of school. I�ll never get any rest or work done if I share my space with three screaming kids. Not to mention 4 people in one bedroom doesn�t sound pleasant.

I�m torn. I absolutely can see her point, but from the sound of it my landlord wouldn�t rent to her again even if he had 100 open units. AITA if I take this apartment?

# ? Feb 13, 2022 23:31

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for taking an apartment for myself even though it means a single mom and her kids could be homeless?

so does OP think that if she turned this offer down, the landlord would give it to the unemployed pet hoarder with three kids who never pays rent on time? 'cuz i don't think the neighbor's getting it either way

# ? Feb 13, 2022 23:36

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Foo Diddley posted:

so does OP think that if she turned this offer down, the landlord would give it to the unemployed pet hoarder with three kids who never pays rent on time? 'cuz i don't think the neighbor's getting it either way

She also called the landlord a prick so she burned that bridge either way

# ? Feb 13, 2022 23:40

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

CharlestheHammer posted:

She also called the landlord a prick so she burned that bridge either way

no no, generally yelling at someone and calling them a dickhead gets them to come around to your point of view

this neighbor lady seems real pleasant in general, great roommate material. OP's missing out

# ? Feb 13, 2022 23:45

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for bringing up my sister�s failed marriage when she judged my parenting?

quote:

My sister Julie (48f) is recently separated from her husband and she didn�t have a place to stay since he kicked her out. Reason is she was caught having an affair. I�m (29M) not happy about what she did but I guess she�s still my sister you know so for now she�s staying here with my 13 yr old nephew. Her oldest is with his dad and doesn�t wanna see her at all. My daughter is 11, and she�s already having her periods. Her mom�s not around so she�s with me full time. We only have one bathroom so she keeps her pads there because it�s more convenient obviously.

Julie�s older so I know she has a different thinking. She�s been super judgy about it. When she first saw them she gave the pads to my daughter and told her �those stay in your room, honey, everyone else uses the bathroom too� I asked her wtf?? My daughter is allowed to have them there. Julie thinks it�s not appropriate to have her pads there because other people could see them. Then she didn�t want to hear my argument because I�m a guy and just don�t understand. My brothers and cousins are coming over later so we�re cleaning up a bit. Again she tells my daughter she should put them in her room for now until everyone leaves.

I confronted her about it because it�s not even a big deal. But it�s because everyone will know she�s on her period. And I said there�s also toilet paper in the bathroom so everyone �knows� people take a poo poo in this house, what does it matter if they know someone in the house is also having periods? It�s not exactly this secret thing nobody knows about.

When she said she�s just caring about her niece since I�m not being a good father setting a proper example for her, I told her I�m not the one who imploded their kids lives for loving another man so she has no right telling me what kind of parent I am.

And that did not go well. She called me a bunch of names and then she went to go cry in the guest room. I�m still mad about what she said, obviously she thinks I was a huge rear end in a top hat for what I said. For bringing up the issues in her marriage right now that she�s in a vulnerable place. Maybe because I�m mad it�s hard to see why I�d be TA when what I actually said was the truth, AITA?

# ? Feb 13, 2022 23:47

Human Tornada: Mar 4, 2005; I been wantin to see a honkey dance.

Nebrilos posted:

You don't think that is a terrifying amount of control for a landlord to hold over their tenant? "Raise your kids according to the way I choose, or I'm tripling your rent!" Why are you okay with this? What if it was a Christian landlord annoyed that their step-nephew had stopped going to church, or something?

You're right if the situation was totally different people would probably feel differently about it. Landlords already have a terrifying amount of control over their tenants in this stupid country, but this particular one seems to be doing a favor for his brother's family while also looking out for his niece.

None of us are writing legislation here, just sharing our opinions about one specific incident.

# ? Feb 13, 2022 23:53

darkwasthenight: Jan 7, 2011; GENE TRAITOR

Mx. posted:

AITA for bringing up my sister’s failed marriage when she judged my parenting?

Delicious hand bitey bitey nomnomnomnom

# ? Feb 13, 2022 23:55

8one6: May 20, 2012; When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for taking an apartment for myself even though it means a single mom and her kids could be homeless?

Take the apart, do not share it with the family of 4.

Mx. posted:

AITA for bringing up my sister’s failed marriage when she judged my parenting?

NTA

# ? Feb 13, 2022 23:56

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Nebrilos posted:

You don't think that is a terrifying amount of control for a landlord to hold over their tenant? "Raise your kids according to the way I choose, or I'm tripling your rent!" Why are you okay with this? What if it was a Christian landlord annoyed that their step-nephew had stopped going to church, or something?

Why do you think I'm ok with it? Is "oof" a term of "This is fine and good in black and white terms?"

# ? Feb 13, 2022 23:59

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

Evil Willow posted:

or someone quiet that�s always a few months ahead on rent.

lol, does anyone actually do this? I'm with the OP for the most part, but lmao at writing about lending your landlord money as if it's a virtue.

# ? Feb 14, 2022 00:08

Cowslips Warren: Oct 29, 2005; What use had they for tricks and cunning, living in the enemy's warren and paying his price?; Grimey Drawer

AITA for refusing to wipe my boyfriend's rear end

quote:

Obligatory First-time poster.

I don't think I'm the rear end in a top hat but he's so convinced that I should do this that I feel like I'm going crazy.

TL;DR: My boyfriend wants me to wipe his rear end when he comes up to visit as some sort of bonding experience and got mad when I refused.

For context, I (20f) have been with my boyfriend (21M) for about three years. All in all, it's a pretty good relationship, we're both affectionate and comfortable and he's been such a thoughtful and wonderful partner. For most of our time, he's been stationed in another state. Recently, however, we were talking about how he should come up to visit me as I am studying at university right now and can't get away. My school is very rural and has a lot of forests and trees. This is relevant because when we were talking he started to talk about wanting to take a poo poo in the woods. At first, I was like Okay whatever I guess it's just a guy thing both my dad and my brother do this whenever we go camping so I'm not super phased at first.

he starts talking about how I should "get ready" and "prepare myself for my responsibilities". He kept half-joking, saying things like "nows the time to prove you're a good girlfriend" and I was like wtf??? I asked him what he was talking about and he looked at me like I should know and said "Oh like when you help me clean myself up". I knew immediately what that meant and told him flat out that I wouldn't be helping an adult man clean up his own rear end. He got really upset and said that he wouldn't come up if I want willing to "support him" and be a "good girlfriend". I kept telling him it made me uncomfortable and that I shouldn't need to compromise myself just to get him up here.

Whenever I asked why he apparently needed me to wipe him all he could tell me was that his mom helped his dad all the time during camping trips without judgment and he always wanted to find a girl like that. (For context, both are able bodied and fully capable of wiping and cleaning themselves)

I told him it was ridiculous to expect that of me or of any woman. He said that I needed to think about my priorities and if I want to continue the relationship.

So AITA for refusing to wipe my boyfriends rear end even though it seems so important to him?

# ? Feb 14, 2022 00:18

sephiRoth IRA: Jun 13, 2007; "Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality."

-Carl Sagan

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for taking an apartment for myself even though it means a single mom and her kids could be homeless?

Eh, whatever to the story, but I've never believed anyone who says they work X hours in addition to school.

Oh yeah, 50 hours a week? :jerkbag:

# ? Feb 14, 2022 00:18

Betty Wight: Jan 1, 2022

Not all landlords wear capes.

# ? Feb 14, 2022 00:23

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for refusing to wipe my boyfriend's rear end

Of course she�s TA. My wife wipes my arse all the time. It�s not a sex thing. Well, not entirely.

# ? Feb 14, 2022 00:28

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

AITA for telling a girl to HMU if she decides to become a man?

quote:

I (25M) was out with friends last night and we want to a bar. This girl made eye contact with me when i walked in and I smiled at her. Me being a gay man i thought nothing of it.

About 20 minutes later, the same girl walks up to my friends and I, its clear she is very drunk, and says to me "Do you want to buy me a drink?" To which I replied, "no sorry, im here just to hang with my friends." I am still not totally comfortable telling any old stranger on first meeting that im gay- so this seemed like the best course of action for me.

She looks rejected and a bit frustrated now behind her glossy eyes and says "a pretty girl wants to drink with you and you say no?" Now I'm getting frustrated, and i kind of snap and say "well im gay so pretty girls dont work on me." She snarkily laughs and goes "well if you ever decide to date women let me know" to which i very snappily replied "if you ever decide to become a man let me know."

You could tell it embarrassed her and my friends all kind of got mad at me saying that I should have patience and be nicer. AITA?

# ? Feb 14, 2022 00:31

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Mx. posted:

AITA for telling a girl to HMU if she decides to become a man?

if someone refuses to take no for an answer they deserve all the social shame they get

# ? Feb 14, 2022 00:34

trickybiscuits: Jan 13, 2008; yospos

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

lol, does anyone actually do this? I'm with the OP for the most part, but lmao at writing about lending your landlord money as if it's a virtue.

As someone who's paid their car insurance a few months in advance, it wasn't about "lending" money, it was about not having to think about it for a while.

# ? Feb 14, 2022 00:41

poisonpill: Nov 8, 2009; The only way to get huge fast is to insult a passing witch and hope she curses you with Beast-strength.

limp_cheese posted:

Lol like everything before that wasn't creepy enough. The things women will put up with from men just boggles the loving mind.

Seriously, that�s the thing about these that just baffles me so much. Everyone I know ever got dumped for tons of normal things but how many of these stories involve thinggs that would be dealbreakers from day one? Do most girls put up with some awful boyfriend at one point in their lives because they don�t know better, or is it people from a particular background? What am I missing here?

# ? Feb 14, 2022 01:06

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

There's no one-size-fits-all answer but the general two that come up the majority of the time are:

1. It didn't all happen at once, it was a slow build-up and/or it was kept private enough that the abused party didn't really parse how abnormal it was.*

2. The person putting up with the poo poo either went in with or has developed really bad self-respect.

* the worst cases are the ones where the abused party does recognize poo poo behavior and calls it out but their social circles take the side of the fuckwit and say "no, no it's totally normal for your boyfriend to pee in your cereal and you're the weird one for having a problem" or whatever

# ? Feb 14, 2022 01:16

Bruceski: Aug 21, 2007; The tools of a hero mean nothing without a solid core.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

lol, does anyone actually do this? I'm with the OP for the most part, but lmao at writing about lending your landlord money as if it's a virtue.

I did once, in a weird situation where I was away for unpredictable amounts of time and wanted to make sure things were stable that I could keep that way and get off my radar while I dealt with stuff. Last thing I needed at the time was one more deadline even if meeting it was doable.

# ? Feb 14, 2022 01:21

8one6: May 20, 2012; When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Sometimes you just want less poo poo to worry about. I overpay my water bill every January so I only have to deal with it once a year.

# ? Feb 14, 2022 01:40

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

poisonpill posted:

Seriously, that�s the thing about these that just baffles me so much. Everyone I know ever got dumped for tons of normal things but how many of these stories involve thinggs that would be dealbreakers from day one? Do most girls put up with some awful boyfriend at one point in their lives because they don�t know better, or is it people from a particular background? What am I missing here?

People who post on Reddit looking for advice are a self selecting group

# ? Feb 14, 2022 01:55

tinytort: Jun 10, 2013; Super healthy, super cheap

trickybiscuits posted:

As someone who's paid their car insurance a few months in advance, it wasn't about "lending" money, it was about not having to think about it for a while.

This, yeah. Paying in advance, when you can afford it and making sure there's a record that you're paid up for however many months in advance, is just a good idea if you can do it. It means you don't have to think about it for a while, and it means that if you run into money problems (car repairs, unexpected medical expenses, lost your job, etc), you're not also having to worry that you're going to get evicted if you can't come up with the money for rent quickly.

# ? Feb 14, 2022 02:16

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

trickybiscuits posted:

As someone who's paid their car insurance a few months in advance, it wasn't about "lending" money, it was about not having to think about it for a while.

With car insurance you get a discount for paying for 6 months at at time, are there apartments that do the same?

# ? Feb 14, 2022 02:17

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

not sure if i�m comfortable with my gently caress buddys view on teenage girls

quote:

Here�s what he said �god i would never sleep with one but these teenage girls make it so hard on me.�

Me: that�s a really disgusting thing to say�.

Some more context: we are more friends that hook up (for nearly 4 years off and on) than really �dating� - i don�t think he�d say that to someone he was dating for real. Not sure why he felt comfortable enough to tell me though, because i am totally disgusted.

I mentioned that i cannot relate and as a bisexual woman i am in no way attracted to teenagers or even women in their early 20s (for reference i am 34 and he is 47) and he says that it�s different for men because of �biology�

some more context: he photographs women and they are often very skinny and prepubescent looking�..

i don�t think i�m going to see this guy anymore and was clearly grossed out.

EDIT for more context: we were sitting outside eating lunch next to a highschool and a group of hs cheerleaders walked by and this is when the comment was made.

EDIT 2: def done with him forever

EDIT 3: to the cowards messaging me shaming and blaming me, post it publicly bitches. i�m a dope rear end human and you can�t touch my self confidence.

ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

# ? Feb 14, 2022 02:24

Agrikk: Oct 17, 2003; Take care with that! We have not fully ascertained its function, and the ticking is accelerating.

quote:

i�m a dope rear end human and you can�t touch my self confidence.

Wait, am I in the wrong thread? I thought I was in r/relationships.

# ? Feb 14, 2022 02:53

Grape: Nov 16, 2017; Happily shilling for China!

I like how the loving scumbag still tried trotting out the "men are naturally into teens" thing even with a bisexual woman.

# ? Feb 14, 2022 02:55

Midnight Voyager: Jul 2, 2008; Lipstick Apathy

pentyne posted:

I'm a little wary of anything that presents people in mental health crises as "quirky" because the first thing that comes to mind is some tumblr high school poo poo. Not saying it's the case, but it would probably be obvious ~10 pages in.

The guy calling it "quirky" is the rear end in a top hat who won't read it. We don't have her description or any actual text from it. It may be a stark view of mental illness and shitlord husband takes a glance and goes "ugh, quirky women, gently caress that."

# ? Feb 14, 2022 03:00

AreWeDrunkYet: Jul 8, 2006

How could anyone not want to engage with their partner's creative output, regardless of what it is? If the person I had committed to spending the rest of my life with released an album of Tuvan throat singing, I would be rocking out to that poo poo.

# ? Feb 14, 2022 03:03

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# ? May 28, 2024 12:06

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Midnight Voyager posted:

The guy calling it "quirky" is the rear end in a top hat who won't read it. We don't have her description or any actual text from it. It may be a stark view of mental illness and shitlord husband takes a glance and goes "ugh, quirky women, gently caress that."

Yeah, "quirky" in this case may simply mean "acknowledges that feelings exist and is not afraid to openly talk about them".

# ? Feb 14, 2022 03:05

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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