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Josherino)
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Venting can be good but at the end of it you've also gotta be able to admit that some stuff rules, otherwise you may be at high risk for Unhealthy Actions and should seek professional help. Don't forget that everybody's at least a little crazy and that in most situations Things Will Get Better.
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Feb 14, 2022 01:23
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Jorge Bell posted:Things Will Get Better. You sure about that one chief?
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Feb 14, 2022 01:35
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Jorge Bell posted:Venting can be good but at the end of it you've also gotta be able to admit that some stuff rules, otherwise you may be at high risk for Unhealthy Actions and should seek professional help. Don't forget that everybody's at least a little crazy and that in most situations Things Will Get Better. i am perfectly in control of my actions and at peace with the knowledge that Things Will Get Worse no part of your post was helpful or asked for and in fact , dolphin noises Somebody has issued a correction as of 03:48 on Feb 16, 2022 |
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Feb 14, 2022 01:39
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hailthefish posted:You sure about that one chief? some things will get better, some things will get worse. hopefully more better and less worse but yeah just gotta post thru it
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Feb 14, 2022 01:41
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Raine posted:it's kinda hosed up that he died when I was out of the country. i'm caught in the disney trope where he disappeared off-screen and now he could come back at any time. i keep having dreams where he comes back. they're essentially nightmares with how it leaves me feeling when i wake My mom died 10 years ago. I was there for it and everything, but I would have dreams where she was alive again, or worse, dreams where she would suddenly be back in my life, and I was aware that she was dead, but nobody would acknowledge how weird it was that this dead person kept popping in and out of existence. For the first 2 years it could be difficult to tell the dreams and reality apart at times,. Whenever I would open up to people about them they would sort of brush it off, probably chalking it up to grief, but this came really close to how dream people would react when I would ask them how weird it was that my dead mom was suddenly back in our lives, adding to my confusion. I don't know what to call that experience, but life felt pretty wrong and unreal for at least 3 years more, but the dreams did stop.
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Feb 14, 2022 04:07
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Raine posted:i am perfectly in control of my actions and at peace with the knowledge that Things Will Get Worse I was mostly responding to AceofFlames and drinking birds posts but go off king, die on the hill that nothing is good and everything will be bad forever, that's a healthy idea that definitely isn't tantamount to encouraging suicide. dolphin noises Somebody has issued a correction as of 03:52 on Feb 16, 2022 |
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Feb 14, 2022 04:36
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Jorge Bell posted:I was mostly responding to AceofFlames and drinking birds posts but go off king, die on the hill that nothing is good and everything will be bad forever, that's a healthy idea that definitely isn't tantamount to encouraging suicide. Dickhead. it's okay conflict is healthy and rules, otherwise id be at high risk of Unhealthy Actions and I'd have to contact professional help. everybody's at least a little crazy
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Feb 14, 2022 13:54
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We're in the middle of a mass extinction event, and it's going to get unimaginably worse. That's very hard to overstate. I'm beating a dead horse if I go on about the ways I cope. I find it hard to keep up with events at large without being overwhelmed by them. I mostly stopped following the day-to-day news, because I end up spending too much time and energy on it. That sends my anxiety and suicidal ideation into overdrive. It seems like I've retreated from reality, which also feels bad. I'm finding some fulfillment through my interactions with NAMI and people close to me, and I'm more effective at getting poo poo done when I don't get bogged down. More power to anyone who can stay informed without it affecting them so deeply. My dad has his surgery tomorrow. I can't believe he went to work today. He's off the anti-inflammatory meds in preparation, and they gave him a very low dose of painkillers. He feels an obligation to the contractor that hired him, so he's going in to train someone who can fill in while he recovers. He won't be allowed to take painkillers before surgery tomorrow. At least he's getting a hotel room near the hospital to minimize the time spent in a car. Gonna be the sole person in charge of taking care of my sister for the next few days. She has special needs and a bunch of physical issues that require help. We get along well, so I'm looking forward to it.
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Feb 14, 2022 18:05
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Dad's out of surgery. There was much more scar tissue than the doctors expected. We'll see how he does afterward, but it sounded like the surgeon was trying to prepare us for the idea that there might be more surgery in the future. Sounds like the surgery went as well as it could, so that's good. Due to my sister's myriad health problems, she's at constant risk of kidney infection. She's on a medication with nasty side effects, but it keeps her out of the hospital. I was concerned about her kidneys, and kept encouraging her to drink plenty of fluids. She told me that she worried about her urostomy bag filling up, and I thought that she would simply need to empty it more often. I didn't realize it would overfill during the night and detach. My sister called our mom during the night. Before I even knew what had happened, our mom was making the hour+ drive back to our house. My dad stayed alone at the hotel until it was time to go in for surgery. I wanted to take care of it all myself, but I've never changed a urostomy bag before. The urostomy surgery was done in the wrong place, so it needs to be done a certain way. Story of her life. I asked my mom to teach me how to change the bag. I probably need to learn a whole lot more medical stuff in the near future. I know my parents won't be able to do the medical stuff for her forever. I know I don't have to take over. I've seen what a lovely job the state, medical organizations, and various nonprofits have done. I guarantee my sister would have died a while ago without my mom's nurse training and constant vigilance. She's been through all kinds of body horror poo poo. Horror movies have nothing on reality. I know the urostomy bag detaching isn't a huge deal, and it has happened before. Still feeling pretty stressed, guilty and down. She has a number of rare medical issues, and they manifest in ways that specialists don't expect or understand. I'll have to learn a whole lot in order to help her maintain what little quality of life she has. EDIT: Dad is in a lot less pain from the sciatica. Still sore from the surgery, but that will subside. Sister's in better spirits. She's still dealing with other medical issues, but looks forward to her online social groups. I had a good support group meeting. Ups and downs. Uganda Loves Me has issued a correction as of 17:22 on Feb 16, 2022 |
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Feb 16, 2022 02:29
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AceOfFlames posted:Posting in here because I don't want to get yelled at in other threads (honestly I don't blame them) what part of getting Covid are you afraid of? are you Immuno compromised or unable to get vaccinated?
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Feb 16, 2022 16:31
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cheese babadook
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Feb 16, 2022 23:06
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I got WFH accommodation and its insane how quickly this has turned things around for me. It's just been two shifts and turns out that not panicking constantly has benefits beyond just "not panicking all the time."
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Feb 18, 2022 06:06
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Automata 10 Pack posted:what part of getting Covid are you afraid of? are you Immuno compromised or unable to get vaccinated? As someone who was vaccinated and still caught it: it is seriously worth it to alter your entire life to avoid it, poo poo was nightmarish, despite being a "lesser" breakthrough case. I woke up repeatedly because enough mucus has coagulated in my lungs my brain thought I was suffocating. Without the vaccines shots I'd likely be in the ICU/dead, Ace's specific concerns in that post are completely justified. (All of us have all of vaccines+boosters but only the millennial kids caught it while boomers sailed through without a sniffle  )Tulip posted:I got WFH accommodation and its insane how quickly this has turned things around for me. It's just been two shifts and turns out that not panicking constantly has benefits beyond just "not panicking all the time." If nothing else this horrorshow has been good for demonstrating to everyone that we don't have to live how we used to, despite the most powerful people and interests in the world trying to rest things. Ronwayne has issued a correction as of 19:22 on Feb 19, 2022 |
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Feb 19, 2022 19:18
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Ronwayne posted:As someone who was vaccinated and still caught it: it is seriously worth it to alter your entire life to avoid it, poo poo was nightmarish, despite being a "lesser" breakthrough case. I woke up repeatedly because enough mucus has coagulated in my lungs my brain thought I was suffocating. Without the vaccines shots I'd likely be in the ICU/dead, Ace's specific concerns in that post are completely justified.
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Feb 22, 2022 21:33
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I have had a worrying thing happen where the left side of my face has gone numb and started to spasm involuntarily, and I have also been unable to breathe for perhaps a minute or two. I do have an appointment with a doctor (Friday morning) but over the phone he told me he thinks it might be related to anxiety. I do suffer with anxiety (the doctor would have had my records on the computer) but I have not had anything that bad before. I worried that it might be an allergic reaction to something I ate (the first time it happened, I was eating, and ended up being sick as well) but I am not sure if I could eat something with no trouble one day and then literally the next day suffer a terrible reaction to it. I had been anxious about it as well. Imagine being anxious about something that turned out to be caused by anxiety. Absolute nonsense. Oh! I should just stop being anxious! Absolutely no problem! The human body is a wonder and a marvel.
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Feb 22, 2022 22:56
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pandy fackler posted:Okay but everybody in my friend group who has gotten covid said it really wasn't that bad. All in late twenties early thirties but current or former smokers btw. Maybe it's a regional variant thing idk I personally had the mildest case of covid ever (seriously. I barely noticed), but this is a tremendously bad take. Just because the people you know didn't have it that bad means nothing. People die or can be hosed up permanently from covid, as I'm sure you're aware, but you're somehow choosing to ignore that in favor of your anecdotal evidence. That said, I still do a lot of things for my mental health that are not covid safe. I go to the gym, I go on dates. I wear a mask anywhere I can. Covid is not going to end, that doesn't mean we should pretend it doesn't exist - but it's no longer reasonable for me to avoid doing some things indefinitely. I'd rather die. But I am also very afraid to die, from covid or suicide! The world is scary and bad, etc. We're all doing our best.
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Feb 23, 2022 01:21
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Jollity Farm posted:I have had a worrying thing happen where the left side of my face has gone numb and started to spasm involuntarily, and I have also been unable to breathe for perhaps a minute or two. I do have an appointment with a doctor (Friday morning) but over the phone he told me he thinks it might be related to anxiety. I do suffer with anxiety (the doctor would have had my records on the computer) but I have not had anything that bad before. I worried that it might be an allergic reaction to something I ate (the first time it happened, I was eating, and ended up being sick as well) but I am not sure if I could eat something with no trouble one day and then literally the next day suffer a terrible reaction to it. get this sometimes with a buzzing in the back of my head and tip of my nose. it was pretty freaky first few times obviously. its pretty rare now. and yeah u cant "calm down" at the snap of ur fingers but for me i drastically reduced the projects and thigns i had going on my life during that time
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Feb 23, 2022 19:36
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i dont know how long this has been a thing, but i just learned about "smash rooms" basically places where you make an appointment and when you show up they give you your weapon of choice then you just go fuckin ham in a destroyable room for like 30 mins with a sledge or bat or whatever capitalism has made this possible
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Feb 23, 2022 20:49
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The videogame forum informed me I do not want to be in the same room as a Smasher.
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Feb 23, 2022 21:14
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Raine posted:i dont know how long this has been a thing, but i just learned about "smash rooms" But the point is to destroy things which you value, so you feel extra lovely afterwards.
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Feb 23, 2022 21:26
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I mean, the act of destroying a thing can just as fulfilling and inalienable as building it, so I can see a benefit to something like that. "stompbox" would be a much more marketable name imo. Demolition has to happen before new construction can begin. To everything there is a season. the moving finger writes and having writ moves on to thank their sponsor raid shadow legends the hot new mobile ga Gene Hackman Fan has issued a correction as of 22:44 on Feb 23, 2022 |
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Feb 23, 2022 22:35
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Cathartic destruction can feel good, especially if you are used to directing your anger back at yourself. Namaste
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Feb 23, 2022 23:06
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The Zen of Goatman
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Feb 24, 2022 03:48
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not a great day to wake up and read the news as a trans woman.
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Feb 24, 2022 04:28
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Raine posted:i dont know how long this has been a thing, but i just learned about "smash rooms" honestly i'd probably try that out once. when i was a kid i'd take a dowel rod and go knock down teasel plants in the abandoned field next to our home, it was therapeutic and good exercise (although it drove my parents insane because all i was really doing was guaranteeing that they'd grow back thicker next year  )
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Feb 24, 2022 10:14
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No. 6 posted:But the point is to destroy things which you value, so you feel extra lovely afterwards. nah op its fun and okay to break poo poo
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Feb 24, 2022 19:21
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Raine posted:it's been almost 4(?) years since my dad died of an overdose, and i had a random breakdown in the shower where I just started crying when I remembered how he bought a telescope when I was young and we would look at the craters on the moon together 2 years for mine. I'm the one that found him, still in bed. Even with that inescapable image burned into the inside of my mind, I _still_ experience that "He'll be walking in the door any minute now" thought regularly. It's funny how the most universal human experience is always an abyss in which we must struggle alone.
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Feb 24, 2022 22:53
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Car Hater posted:It's funny how the most universal human experience is always an abyss in which we must struggle alone. Actually, everybody jacks off
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Feb 25, 2022 11:56
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Some cataclysmic physical accidents put an end to that. I'm talking like "they saved the pelvis, the rest is a tube coming out connected to a poop bag" level stuff. That guy is an inspiration to me because if he's fought off his suicidal ideation brought about by zero quality of life, I can too. The human body is hideously robust and that's not always a good thing.
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Feb 25, 2022 12:01
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Crazy, if I couldn't jack off I would be really bummed out
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Feb 25, 2022 12:05
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Same, but he learned to walk again and already had kids so he seems to be living life. I think of him when my personal demons start screaming louder than usual.
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Feb 25, 2022 13:20
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Really feeling it today, chums. I took a few days 'off' - from what, exactly, I'm not sure, since I've been too paralyzed to do much other than doomscroll and self-medicate for weeks now. In any case, I went to my Mom's place for the weekend. It helped, but it was also stressful in its own way. She and my Stepdad in their own ways are encouraging me to get on my feet and some of it can be frustrating. Plus we all basically spent the weekend talking about the news in Ukraine. I'm still so worried by everything, external factors like missing friends, legal issues, and mounting financial tensions, and like I said it's extremely paralyzing. Ripping myself from a computer screen is hard late at night, trying to sleep through extremely negative thoughts is hard once I do. Getting myself out of bed in the morning is even harder and once I'm finally up the anxiety makes it impossible to do anything productive and eats away at me and becomes guilt the more I do nothing. I got home and it's back to anxious-as-hell mode again. Small moves, I guess: I had a chance to talk to a therapist last Tuesday and we have another video meeting tomorrow night, though I haven't exactly been practicing the self-care they mentioned. I reached out again to my GP (who never called last time I requested a phone appointment), and expect to talk to them Wednesday hopefully for a referral to a psychiatrist. Still, I'm terrified and feeling really trapped in it right now. On the upside, going to visit Mom means more cat content hopefully to brighten the thread:   
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Mar 1, 2022 05:45
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Mister Speaker posted:Really feeling it today, chums. I took a few days 'off' - from what, exactly, I'm not sure, since I've been too paralyzed to do much other than doomscroll and self-medicate for weeks now. In any case, I went to my Mom's place for the weekend. It helped, but it was also stressful in its own way. She and my Stepdad in their own ways are encouraging me to get on my feet and some of it can be frustrating. Plus we all basically spent the weekend talking about the news in Ukraine. Those sound like some solid steps. Seeing a therapist, visiting your mom, and pursuing a psychiatrist are all proactive things. I relate to feeling bad about my anxiety and depression. They lead to struggling, and I end up feeling guilty about my struggles. I've been in a depressed state, but I'm managing. My dad is recovering from his surgery. I have back problems too, and it's concerning. I've seen a doctor and a physical therapist about my back problems, but I don't think I communicated how bad it really was. I didn't get an x-ray or MRI. I was raised to not "complain" and that's been detrimental. I did the NAMI In Our Own Voice training. It wasn't as bad as I expected. The teachers were cool. One was an old british guy with quite a sense of humor. It's nice to interact with people who have a solid understanding of mental health struggles. I'm still a little bitter about needing training to tell my story, but it was less about controlling the narrative than it was about presentation skills and time management. I'm trying to be more proactive about nutrition. I took a look at the supplements I was taking, and compared them to the recommended vitamins for vegetarians. I know that it's optimal to get that stuff from food instead of pills, but that's a bit hard to swing. I made a few changes to what I was taking, and got some ridiculously-sized vitamin bottles from costco. I'm trying to reduce my sugar intake. I'm switching to low-sugar cereal and steel-cut or rolled oats. I had a manic episode last year. I think it was my first. I realized that it happened while I was severely dehydrated. I recently read a few studies about dehydration, electrolyte balance, and mood. I think the dehydration was a major contributing factor. I'm dehydrated due to the mood stabilizer I'm taking, lamictal. I was drinking lots of water at the time, and I drink even more now. Maybe getting more electrolytes will help me actually absorb what I drink. Ironically, I think the mood stabilizer may have helped cause my first manic episode. I'm not giving up on it, though. I've been trying different meds for years. They all have side-effects that suck, but I'll do what I can to mitigate them. I'd say I'm religious about my medication, but I have a feeling I'm more devout about it than most people are about their religion. I want to be stable, and I want to be able to follow through on responsibilities that I accept. I'm in charge of my sister again today. I forgot that my support group is moving from zoom to in-person meetings, so I'll be missing it. I'm going to start a new zoom support group in my area, which will meet in the evenings. We have people who can't make it during the early afternoon, and people who can't make it in person. We have people who moved away, too. I enjoy seeing them, and want them to have a chance to continue receiving support. I can see the difference in those who have a support system and regularly interact with people who share the same struggles.
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Mar 1, 2022 15:50
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It's fine to take time off to just not do stuff! ALso cool cats and good job on talking to somebody, that can be really scary or feel intimidating.
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Mar 2, 2022 05:45
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Man, I quit drinking about three weeks ago and it has been so much better as a result. i also quit smoking weed two months ago and that has been decent but I'll probably eventually go back to that because it at least doesn't make me feel terrible or give me near constant GI issues.
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Mar 2, 2022 22:47
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Great job! booze is horrible to abuse
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Mar 3, 2022 03:28
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It's the fifth loving call giving me the "idk ask someone else" contacting the local healthcare services about a disability accommodation problem. Not even that they're difficult, just that the system has no information about it other than buried very deep in the patient history, so when I pop up still having the disability the staff get pissy with me for not informing them even if I had no way to inform them. Yayyy.
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Mar 3, 2022 17:41
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suicidality has been around again for the last week or so, I'm not gonna do anything, this has happened before, don't worry etc. just annoying because I've gotten a couple nice gifts recently and that usually makes my brain release the happy chemical but it didn't help
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Mar 4, 2022 20:33
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Try fingers, but hole
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Mar 5, 2022 02:51
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Segata Sanshiro posted:suicidality has been around again for the last week or so, I'm not gonna do anything, this has happened before, don't worry etc. I know the feeling: when people help you out when you're really got next to nothing, it feels like it should be great but it can be a reminder of how you can lose it. I managed to mitigate that fear in me by trying to use what I get to find longer lasting streams of income. I realize this is so broad a notion as to be useless but all I can do is try to build some sort of organization/resources/connections I can rely on when the initial wad of goods/money disappears.
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Mar 5, 2022 04:10
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