r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

dog attacks at the office. what do?

quote:

i (early 20s F) work for a very small company and there are 10 employees including me. my bosses live upstairs and their dog comes down with them to the workspace on most days. On Day 1 when i interviewed with them before being hired, i met the dog and was told explicitly not to touch him and to pretend he wasn�t there. i thought that was weird.

fast forward to now, ive noticed a few things. the dog gets randomly aggressive, even at their 2 owners. the dog snapped at me once which really scared me and now i am on edge whenever he is around. a couple weeks ago, the dog randomly attacked one coworker (who has known the dog for years) for no reason, jumping to bite his arm through a winter coat (he wasn�t hurt). and the dog tried to bite him again after the coworker walked away. it was scary, owners had no control, and everyone was just frozen, watching. then today, the dog is being pet by another coworker and then randomly bites her arm through her shirt sleeve. i could see her fear for a moment before she laughed it off and said it was ok because she wasn�t hurt.

to make matters worse, my one boss who was there during this had to explain to my other boss not to let the dog downstairs, they asked what the dog did and boss #1 said bc it was �in trouble� for �being bad�. they wouldn�t even say that it bit someone, and that upset me.

everyone seems to think that this is okay, or they are too nervous to say anything, idk. but i think this is extremely negligent, not to mention that now whenever i hear something that sounds kind of like a growl i get anxiety thinking the dog is about to attack me. i also get scared when the dog walks near me, idk if he will snap and if he were to bite me i think i would defend myself and i would not be as chill about it as my coworkers forsure.

i was thinking of having a private convo with the person i report to, to say that i would work better if the dog wasn�t there. is this appropriate?

Edit: i cannot just get a new job at this time. i�m not vaccinated and i work in a very specific field and kinda created a job title while the company was still building their team. sooo no one is really hiring rn except dead end jobs

Tldr: bosses dog has bit 2 people and they brush it off. i feel on edge at work bc of this. is it appropriate to set a boundary that i don�t want the dog around during my work hours?

drat, hope OP doesnt get bit by the dog and have to get a rabies shot lol

# ? Feb 17, 2022 12:11

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# ? May 30, 2024 16:30

Runcible Cat: May 28, 2007; Ignoring this post

Cloacamazing! posted:

"I agree with my wife's political views, except for when it inconveniences me."

More like "I go along with my husband's crappy politics he wants to make a career of except when it gets me personally creeped on". He's an rear end in a top hat, but wife had some idea at least of what she was signing up for, at least after the prenuptial muh career talk.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 12:14

Sir Sidney Poitier: Aug 14, 2006; My favourite actor

Mx. posted:

dog attacks at the office. what do?

drat, hope OP doesnt get bit by the dog and have to get a rabies shot lol

The OP has misunderstood. The dog is her boss. Being as young as she is she's obviously got some misguided ideas of what professional life is like - that you turn up to work, it's all sunshine and flowers, you have 20 coffee breaks a day and nobody gets bitten. Grow up OP.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 12:23

8one6: May 20, 2012; When in doubt, err on the side of Awesome!

Mx. posted:

dog attacks at the office. what do?

Man that's awful, you need to call...

quote:

...i�m not vaccinated...

Nevermind.

Mx. posted:

drat, hope OP doesnt get bit by the dog and have to get a rabies shot lol

lol

# ? Feb 17, 2022 12:23

B-Rock452: Jan 6, 2005

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA: For expecting my wife to put up with sexist comments from old men?
Hello reddit, throwaway for anonymity.

I mean I would vote for someone that punched a sexist piece of poo poo in the face... Definitely wouldn't vote for some giant wuss bag that thinks his wife getting harassed is just a part of politics

# ? Feb 17, 2022 12:24

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

It worked well for Ted Cruz.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 12:43

FiftySeven: Jan 1, 2006; I WON THE BETTING POOL ON TESSAS THIRD STUPID VOTE AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS HALF-ASSED TITLE; Slippery Tilde

From the Trueoffmychest subreddit, but i think it fits in here very nicely.

Just bold everything.

I ruined my mom�s life and reputation

quote:

My (40 F) parents, dad (63 M) and mom (60 F), have been married for 43 years. I have six siblings 42 F, 38 F, 34 F, 20 M, 20 M, 18 M. I have been with my husband (39 M), since we were 15. I got pregnant at 17 and we moved in with my parents. I gave birth to my now 22 year old daughter. We got married at 18 shortly after. My dad�s father passed shortly after our wedding and left his ranch style house to my father. My grandparents built a house next door to my parents when they retired. My parents decided to let us live in this house & told us this would be my inheritance. My husband and I had no issues with this. We went on to have a 20 M, 14 F, 5 F, and I'm currently 7 months pregnant with my last child, a boy, due in April.

I thought I had a good marriage, we were intimate more than twice a week, we went on date nights, we bought each other gifts, we didn't fight. My entire world was shattered on New Years Eve when I returned early from a girl�s trip I had taken with some friends. I walked into my bedroom to find my mom having sex with my husband. My mother screamed at me to get out of �their� bedroom which really shook me up even more.

Unfortunately, my oldest daughter, was also home in her bedroom across the house getting ready for a party. She ran out and witnessed my all but a bed sheet naked mother run out of our house next door to her house and slam the door. My daughter was devastated and went to my sister�s house. I asked her not to say anything until I first talked to my husband. I asked him for the truth. He told me that my mom seduced him when we were 18 and living in their house. They�d been having unprotected sex at least once a month for longer than we were married. I ran the math and was horrified, because the timeline meant my twin brothers and youngest brother could be my husband�s.

I immediately called my dad and told him to come to my house without my mom. I made my husband confess and my dad was devastated, he and my mom were high school sweethearts too. Needless to say, we could hear my mother screaming from her house when he confronted her.

I then told my older sister and she and I decided to have her throw a party for the whole extended family and we invited my ex�s family as well. At the party, I had my 22 F daughter take all the kids to our basement and put on a movie, leaving only the adult children and siblings and I told them exactly what they�d been doing.

Most of the family is on my side, except my 3 youngest siblings, 38 F sister, Ex�s entire family. They all say I�m an AH for dropping this publicly. Word got out and my mom�s best friend, who is on leadership at my mom�s church (my childhood church)called me to verify. My mom has since been let go as the children�s pastor there and she claims I�ve essentially ruined her reputation and life. My dad kicked her out and she�s now living with my 38 F sister, and lastly, my dad insisted on a dna test for the three youngest boys before he�d consider anything to do with their marriage. The twins are my husband�s bio children. I�ve since kicked him out and he�s living with his parents.

My father and I are discussing me moving into his much larger house and him selling my grandfather's house and him giving me the money to buy a new house somewhere else to get rid of the memories. My husband is appalled and furious that I proved he actually is about to have seven kids, instead of five, that I'm going to be taking half his business away from him. My husband started his own HVAC company a few years back and for the first five years, I helped him get it set up, ran the office completely, and took time away from my teaching career to help him get this established. In my state, all marital assets, including businesses are split 50/50. Since the house was still in my father's name, my husband will get no money from the sale, neither will my mother, since inherited assets are not subject to be split in divorces. My mother is also likely to not get any alimony, as our state is not a no fault divorce state.

I'm now over a month removed, still extremely bitter and angry at my mother, especially at her hypocrisy of calling me a whore and shaming my family, when she's done much worse. I also despise my ex with everything within me now, as he was loving both my mom and me in some instances coming to our bed minutes later. He got my mother pregnant less than a week after getting me pregnant and while I thought it was so cute and fun that I shared a pregnancy experience with my mom, she was carrying my children's half siblings. He has broken all trust I had in men and being faithful. I have already procured a good lawyer from the firm that helped us in financial matters for both me and my dad and my dad is helping pay for it.

My twin brothers, one of my sisters, and my entire ex's family have gone no contact with me and my minor children and my children have essentially lost all of their grandparents but my dad, two uncles, and an aunt on my side, and my husband's three brothers, due to this mess.

I've also developed ulcers and digestive issues because of this, so I'm visiting the doctor soon and I've been in therapy since the first week of January. I've offered this for my two adult children if they need family therapy with all of us, but they're doing individual therapy right now.

My 14 year old knows that we're getting divorced and why and she's so angry at her dad that I struggle sending her to his house on the weekends. I feel like she's old enough to make a decision on that, but I don't want to damage her relationship with her dad. I've told all my kids it's okay to love their dad, even if he hurt me, but the oldest two have cut him off 100%. I won't tell my youngest two until they're teens why we got divorced, and everyone else has agreed to not spill anything until they're old enough to understand.

As for how I had no idea this affair was ongoing, my husband confirmed to me that they would have sex at my mom's office at church, in their cars, at a motel, and when we built the business, they started having it routinely in his office, once I went back to teaching. They also had it in our houses too when my father would go away on business trips or I'd be out of town.

It was pure happenstance that I came home a day early from a trip, because I was uncomfortable from being nearly seven months pregnant and just wanted my own bed, for me to find out. Knowing they'd be carrying on this full blown affair still if I hadn't caught them is what I'm still upset about. The fact that the grandmother and father of my children cared so little about destroying our families is what I can't get past.

What's hardest for me is that my own mother would do this to me and would continue to do this for years and not caring when it all blew up in her face that she would be destroying her entire family.

Edit: Also, to add insult to injury my husband confirmed in one of our mediated conversations the affair started when I apparently made him angry. He didn�t tell me and instead vented to my mom when they were alone. She comforted him and they had sex. He loved it and then pursued her after that. He said he would�ve divorced me, but knew he�d get cut off from her and she was so much better at sex than me, so stuck it out with me. He told me I was a placeholder. Of all the betrayal and low blows, that statement is what keeps me up at night.

TL;DR

My mom hosed my husband for 22 years, got pregnant with twins, continued the affair until I caught them in bed together on New Year�s Eve while I was nearly 7 months pregnant. I publicly exposed it and my mom lost her job , her marriage, and is homeless.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 12:56

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

mllaneza posted:

This thread would be a lot shorter if people didn't comment on posts they didn't read all the way through. A lot more readable too.

A lot more readable, too. And probably shorter.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 13:00

Mx.: Dec 16, 2006; I'm a great fan! When I watch TV I'm always saying "That's political correctness gone mad!"
Why thankyew!

FiftySeven posted:

From the Trueoffmychest subreddit, but i think it fits in here very nicely.

Just bold everything.

I ruined my mom�s life and reputation

i'm lining up the acid baths

mother, ex-husband, ex-inlaws, jump in

# ? Feb 17, 2022 13:05

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Mx. posted:

dog attacks at the office. what do?

drat, hope OP doesnt get bit by the dog and have to get a rabies shot lol

Just start randomly attacking the boss and soon enough it will be YOUR company. Establish dominance.

Also get loving vaxxed, you dipshit.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 13:06

Whitlam: Aug 2, 2014; Some goons overreact. Go figure.

Runcible Cat posted:

More like "I go along with my husband's crappy politics he wants to make a career of except when it gets me personally creeped on". He's an rear end in a top hat, but wife had some idea at least of what she was signing up for, at least after the prenuptial muh career talk.

Cool victim blaming take dude. What did she expect, ~~wearing that outfit~~ going to that public function?

# ? Feb 17, 2022 13:54

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Invisible Clergy posted:

Hey now, don't be hasty.

They could be a nazi and a loving idiot.

A Nazidiot

# ? Feb 17, 2022 13:54

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for telling my parents about my sister's pregnancy?

quote:

I M19 have an older sister F23 (Jess) who is no contact with my parents after they had a fuge fight with her at 17 and kicked her out to live with my now deceased aunt. The main reason for the fight is that Jess wanted to study aboard as her dream but my parents refused to let her and took away her college money. She ended up going to a community college in another town after she moved away with her then boyfriend now fiance.

I talk to Jess regularly but haven't seen her much and I haven't told my parents that I talk to her oer her request. Unfortunately, a lot has happened this past year. both my parents have terminal illness and their health has been declining.

last week I found out that Jess is pregnant, I was so happy for her but then I kept remembering my parents words about how they wish to see at least one grandchild before they pass. I had an urge to tell them and eventually, I ended up telling them yesterday. They were overjoyed and wanted to speak to Jess to see if they could come see her. I called Jess to tell her about how excited my parents were about her pregnancy and asked if she wanted to meet up with them as they wanted to gift her baby stuff. she lost it on me asking what was wrong with me to tell our parents about her pregnancy, I said it just happened and I didn't mean to snitch but she said that it wasn't my info to share or she gave me the permission to share which...yeah she's right but she didn't tell me I couldn't tell either. She started arguing with me about how I just messed up and she has to bare the consequences, how she is already having a rough pregnancy and me "sending" our parents at her is going to make it worse. I apologized for causing her stress but said that was none of my intentions. She cussed me out and hung up. I kept trying to call her back but she's not responding. I spoke to her fiance and he sternly told me off for what I did. I figured I was being empathetic to my parents who have been longing for a grandbaby and being willing to reconcile with my sister. I'm too young to get married let alone have kids snd knowing my sister is expecting literally warmed my parents hearts. In my opinion they're sincerely wanting to reconcile.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 14:09

Whorelord: May 1, 2013; Jump into the well...

My(29f) Bf(31m) is considering joining the Ukrainian Military

quote:

I'm not sure how I feel because I would never prevent him from doing something he wants to do, and I would help him in any way, especially financially. But I feel sick, because I don't want to be without him for at least 3 years and risk losing him forever.

How do I stay strong in front of him? Or even when I'm not around him? How do I stop this feeling of a lump in my throat and stomach lurching, begging to be let out. I have been on the verge of tears since he told me, and I don't want him to see me cry.

I don't want him to change his mind just because I cry.

I don't want him to change his mind unless HE has a legitimate reason to. I've never loved anyone like this, not even my ex husband that I was married to for almost 8 years.

I need advice. I tried texting one of my friends and she hasn't responded. We haven't talked in 2 weeks.

I'll be texting my friend of many years after I post this.

TLDR - Bf is considering joining the Ukrainian military, we're in Canada. I'm sad and don't want him to see that I'm sad. I will support him in any decision he makes. What do I do?

# ? Feb 17, 2022 14:13

Cthulu Carl: Apr 16, 2006

Whorelord posted:

My(29f) Bf(31m) is considering joining the Ukrainian Military

Bet he wants to join the Azov Battalion, in which case, let him and hope a Russian mortar obviates the need for a Dear John letter.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 14:24

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Cthulu Carl posted:

Bet he wants to join the Azov Battalion, in which case, let him and hope a Russian mortar obviates the need for a Dear John letter.

Talk about Nazidiots, lol.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 14:25

Ghost Leviathan: Mar 2, 2017; Exploration is ill-advised.

There's actually a significant Ukranian diaspora in Canada apparently. So much that after WW2, the government specifically sought out Nazis to immigrate to cancel out the left leanings of immigrants. Like Operation Paperclip but they actively sought out concentration camp guards and SS officers.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 14:36

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Not that I have any reason to doubt this given the Canadian government's history with this kind of thing, but do you know the name of this initiative or law or policy or whatever so I can learn more about it?

# ? Feb 17, 2022 14:51

Verdugo: Jan 5, 2009; Lipstick Apathy

teen witch posted:

AITA for telling MIL that while I cannot break HIPAA but I can dictate how much she sees her future grandchildren?

OP not the rear end in a top hat, but good lord all of the OPs comments in the thread are �no that violates HIPAA�, �no I can get super turbofired� �even if I dislike her I won�t jeopardize my job�. Lord almighty redditors.

No, that violates HIPAA, so I won't tell my family. However I will post this easily identifiable story on reddit.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 14:52

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Invisible Clergy posted:

Not that I have any reason to doubt this given the Canadian government's history with this kind of thing, but do you know the name of this initiative or law or policy or whatever so I can learn more about it?

Apologies for the facebook meme, but yeah, it happened.

They even have their own cemetery for members of the 14th SS Division which was made up of Ukrainians.

EDIT: Just ctrl-f for "Canada"

quote:

The Canadian Desch�nes Commission

The Canadian "Commission of Inquiry on War Crimes" of October 1986, by the Honourable Justice Jules Desch�nes concluded that in relation to membership in the Galicia Division:

The Galicia Division (14. Waffen grenadier division der SS [gal. #1]) should not be indicted as a group. The members of Galicia Division were individually screened for security purposes before admission to Canada. Charges of war crimes of Galicia Division have never been substantiated, either in 1950 when they were first preferred, or in 1984 when they were renewed, or before this Commission. Further, in the absence of evidence of participation or knowledge of specific war crimes, mere membership in the Galicia Division is insufficient to justify prosecution.[55]

The commission considered the International Military Tribunal's verdict at the Nuremberg Trials, at which the entire Waffen-SS organisation was declared a "criminal organization" guilty of war crimes.[56] Also, in its conclusion, the Desch�nes Commission only referred to the division as 14. Waffen-Grenadier-Division der SS (Galizische Nr.1) but rejected such a principle.

Sure, the Nuremberg trials rendered the verdict that all SS members were guilty of war crimes, but Canada decided to ignore that and allowed thousands of the Ukranian SS to immigrate.

Megillah Gorilla fucked around with this message at 15:24 on Feb 17, 2022

# ? Feb 17, 2022 15:11

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for not wanting to celebrate my mom on MY birthday?

quote:

I have three siblings between the ages of 10 and 18. I'm the oldest fourth at 25. Every year on every single one of our birthday, we're expected to celebrate my mom as well. We've done it since we were little. It was taught to me as 'giving thanks for carrying + giving birth to us'. Which I'm all for, I am grateful as we wouldn't be here without her. The issue is though, it becomes less of our birthday and more-so an anniversary for the day our mom gave birth.

Every year on our birthday our mom gets gifts too. As we got older, we're now expected to get her monetary gifts (and not cards, or homemade stuff). Just recently was my birthday and I was gifted some much needed clothes and dishware for my new apartment. My dad however got my mom a new macbook. My siblings all got her gifts too. My youngest brother isn't expected to give much, but my 16 year old sister and 18 year old 2nd brother work so they're expected to give gifts too. My sister pulled me aside before my birthday and said she was sorry she couldn't get me much (she got me a sweater, I love it!) and that she wanted to get me more but our mom was pressuring her to get a certain necklace for our mom. Apparently my mom had been dropping hints for month and my sister was worried our mom would be upset and feel underappreciated if she didn't get it.

I asked how much it was, and my sister said it was $300. I honestly lost it on our mom and chewed into her later that afternoon when my mom opened her gifts after me. I think she's ridiculous for even wanting my sister to spend so much on a gift! Mom started crying and my dad kicked me out. Mom won't answer calls but my aunt (mom's sister) called and said I was a POS for not respecting my mother and that I'm a selfish, narcissist child for being jealous of the gifts mom got.

I thought I was in the right, but now I don't know. It's been over two weeks and mom won't answer my calls. She's been posting on facebook inspiration quotes about letting go of the toxicity in your life, how blood doesn't equal family, and how hard it is to be a mother. Several family members (aunt, grandma, uncle, and two of my cousins) are replying to the posts and are very obviously directing vague comments at me about being a horrible daughter... Idk what to think now because of how many people are on her side :/

EDIT: Thank you for all your feedback. I think it's really eye opening and I'm going to try to find a therapist so I can unload all this fuckery. Also, thank you for the awards but you don't have to! If you'd feel inclined, I think it would be pretty cool to donate it instead to a cool charity of your choice instead.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 15:52

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for using my mother's own sexist argument against her?

quote:

Details: My mom and dad are super old fashioned, sexist and homophobic. They're not bad parents but are very stubborn on some of their beliefs, like for example they think all gays will go to hell. I have basically accepted at this point that they're not going to change the way they think so I've just dropped the whole thing.

3 days ago I(m14) got yelled at by my mom for wearing a pink t-shirt because "it's not something boys do". I was really annoyed by this comment but brushed it off and didn't do anything further. Yesterday I asked her if I could dye my hair. I understand that this is a big request and if she just said no I would not be as pissed, but instead she decided to say "No, men don't colour their hair. Only girls do that.".
I was really annoyed that she was using a sexist and old fashioned belief to justify her word. If she had told me literally anything else I would've been fine. So last night she asked me to wash the dishes and I said "No, men don't wash dishes, only girls do that." She lost it at me. Screaming at me before ignoring me completely. It's been about 12 hours now and she still hasn't said anything to me and I feel bad because I was petty. So redditors, AITA?

# ? Feb 17, 2022 15:56

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not wanting to celebrate my mom on MY birthday?

they should check around the house for any strange gasses seeping out of the ground

# ? Feb 17, 2022 15:57

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not wanting to celebrate my mom on MY birthday?

Narcissism: not even once

# ? Feb 17, 2022 15:59

sootikins: May 24, 2008; Did I ever. Remember it as if it were yesterday. Soon as I woke, I went to empty my bowels - my favorite part of the day. Defecatin' to the sunrise - downright glorious.

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for using my mother's own sexist argument against her?

first of all, just for men haircolor is a whole thing

also, pink as a "girls clothes" color is a fairly recent thing! :viggo:

https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/when-did-girls-start-wearing-pink-1370097/

# ? Feb 17, 2022 16:04

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

hey y�all, I�ve noticed an uptick of stories being posted twice so maaayyybe read a few pages before posting a recent story

# ? Feb 17, 2022 16:09

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

teen witch posted:

hey y�all, I�ve noticed an uptick of stories being posted twice so maaayyybe read a few pages before posting a recent story

Thank you, some of you people have me wondering if it's actually last Tuesday with this poo poo.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 16:11

lumpentroll: Mar 4, 2020

teen witch posted:

hey y�all, I�ve noticed an uptick of stories being posted twice so maaayyybe read a few pages before posting a recent story

Thank you, some of you people have me wondering if it's actually last Tuesday with this poo poo.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 16:13

Seth Pecksniff: May 27, 2004; can't believe shrek is fucking dead. rip to a real one.

teen witch posted:

hey y�all, I�ve noticed an uptick of stories being posted twice so maaayyybe read a few pages before posting a recent story

WIBTA if I (35M) didn't listen to a forums IK (??F)

# ? Feb 17, 2022 16:13

Farg: Nov 19, 2013

Seth Pecksniff posted:

WIBTA if I (35M) didn't listen to a forums IK (??F)

ESH

# ? Feb 17, 2022 16:16

Sir Sidney Poitier: Aug 14, 2006; My favourite actor

INFO: do you have stairs in your house?

# ? Feb 17, 2022 16:23

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

You're dead, go away.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 16:38

Dramatika: Aug 1, 2002; THE BANK IS OPEN

ESH: Goons, not even once

# ? Feb 17, 2022 16:54

Sisal Two-Step: May 29, 2006; mom without jaw
dad without wife

i'm taking all the Ls now, sorry

I'm going to repost a classic because there's a fresh update (thanks r/bestofredditupdates again).

AITA for very rarely/almost never wanting to go to restaurants because my girlfriend makes food that's just as good, if not better, than restaurant food?

quote:

I've been with my wonderful girlfriend for a few years now, and we usually get along great, aside from this current issue. You can skip to the TL;DR if the exposition is too long.

She's a self-proclaimed "foodie", which I honestly think is just selling herself short - she's a food genius. She can taste and smell a dish and then turn around and recreate it, or even make it better than the original.

If you taste something and wonder, 'what's that super subtle flavor?' she'll tell you, 'it's anchovy paste/sumac/lavender/some other obscure spice that you would never think of.' When someone is cooking something and they go, 'it's missing something,' she can tell you exactly what it needs.

(It doesn't stop there, she knew I had touched a diesel truck at work one morning as soon as I walked into the house that night because she could somehow smell it on me. It's either really cool or really creepy, depending on the day.)

That's not it, either. She heard about a lost family recipe and the next week, BAM, I'm eating my grandmother's homemade sausage again for the first time in fifteen years.

It's gotten to the point where I don't see any point in going out to eat, pretty much ever, except maybe her birthday. Even the most exotic ingredients aren't out of her reach, either, and, even though it's not about cost, I've saved up more being with her than I ever had in any other relationship. The only places we really go for date night is ramen - she can't figure out how to make the noodles, but she still tries so it's just a matter of time - and sushi.

Our anniversary was recently, and I had noticed that our local fish counter was selling sushi grade fish, along with the rolling mats and nori, so I suggested that we have homemade sushi for our anniversary dinner before going out and she upset and said, "I'm not learning how to make sushi because then I'll never get a real date ever again." We ended up going out instead.

It kinda took me by surprise that she got so mad, though. She's lightly mentioned wanting to go out occasionally to places like Olive Garden "because she likes the red sauce" or other places because she likes the food, and now that I'm thinking about it, she's gotten kinda gloomy because I've asked her to cook on date nights instead of going out more often.

She also brought up that food she cooks tastes better to me because she's tasting and smelling it while it cooks so her senses are dulled by the time it's served, but she has the most acute sense of smell/taste I've ever seen so I kinda think it's just an excuse.

I just don't think it's worth it to go out and pay restaurant food prices when we can stay home for home food prices and have food that's just as excellent.

TL;DR: So, Reddit, am I the rear end in a top hat for not wanting to pay a restaurant to cook my meals because I practically have a private chef of my very own?

Edit: it's not about the financial aspect of staying home vs going out, I just thought that it was worth mentioning because it's been more of a saving than expected.

Edit 2: I'm taking her out tonight to grovel, guys. I'm also going to politely ask that, if she finds this off of Twitter, please don't smother me in my sleep for being such a dick

Edit3: no, twitter, I don't buy her flowers, thanks for rubbing it in. I buy her herbs and succulents. What flowers do I buy a woman who likes to preserve them afterward?

Also, yes, I wash the dishes

Final Edit:

Okay guys. This will probably be my last edit. This post exploded unexpectedly and I've tried to respond to as many comments as I can, but there's just too many of you. If you've asked me a direct question and I haven't answered, I'm sorry. My inbox is a mess.

I really took everything you guys gave said to heart, and I can honestly say that I've been an rear end, and it's really hurt my relationship with my girlfriend. It's honestly a surprise that she's still my girlfriend after everything.

So her mom picked up the girls and I took her out to a really nice tapas restaurant. She was very excited and seemed to enjoy herself, and I apologized for being stupid. After, we took a walk and everything seemed perfect, so I asked her to marry me.

She said no. She did it kindly, but she still said no. She said that it wasn't a no forever, but she didn't want to commit to a one sided relationship and also said she doesn't think that it's fair that our relationship happens on 'my schedule' or 'my terms'.

I'm pretty heartbroken. I thought everything was pretty okay between us, but she thinks we should go to pre-marital (pre-engagement?) counseling and the division of labor needs to change over a serious sit down conversation.

So, Reddit, you were all right. I'm the rear end in a top hat who almost lost the love of my life, and most of you were right - it wasn't over restaurants.

UPDATE - AITA for very rarely/almost never wanting to go to restaurants because my girlfriend makes food that's just as good, if not better, than restaurant food?

quote:

A few months ago, I posted this post asking if I was an rear end in a top hat for not wanting to take my girlfriend out to restaurants. It blew up. It ended up on Twitter. People shared it to Facebook.

The general consensus was, yes, that I am the rear end in a top hat, and it just went downhill from there. A couple people told me to kill myself, so thanks for that. More than a couple people told me that they hoped my girlfriend broke up with me.

Well.

After I posted - and proposed and was rejected - things got pretty awkward between us for the first time in five years. She started to get snappy at me easily, she stopped being as affectionate to me, she started making pretty much nothing but casserole. Everything changed - to clarify, she usually liked to make more involved food than casserole.

Then one day, like three weeks ago, she threw down the spoon she was using to serve the thousandth casserole this month, and snipped at me, "Do you seriously loving think that I actually like eating at Olive Garden?"

Guys, she saw the post. She was furious.

She doesn't like Olive Garden - she'll eat there because the kids love it and it's cheap. I was right about the red sauce being non-acidic, but, well, in her words, "she never developed a taste for pasta, she's Latino, do I ever see her make pasta? No. A meal isn't complete without rice. You don't know me at all."

She yelled about Olive Garden for a solid twenty minutes. It wasn't just about Olive Garden, but it was a lot about Olive Garden.

Long story short, we've been separated for a few weeks now, and it's not looking good. She "loves and respects me but feels it's best for her to respectfully disengage" from me for her own personal betterment.

So, yeah.

TL;DR: I ruined my family by not appreciating my girlfriend. I didn't take her out on dates and I didn't pay enough attention. I would do anything to fix everything.

Edit: To clarify a few things

1 I didn't post on April First.

2 I say that she yelled about "mostly Olive Garden" because she did. She was really embarrassed that a bunch of people on the internet were making fun of her over Olive Garden, where the kids are catered to.

3 She did not call herself Latino. She calls herself Latinx, but I thought Latino would be less confusing. Guess it just made me look like a dick.

And now, the latest:
the best woman in the world left me a few years ago and it was my fault. I still blame her. (CW: transphobia? maybe?)

quote:

I'm day drinking and upset.

I guess I'm just feeling bitter, and I try my best to not be, but I can't help it right now because she's got another achievement under her belt while I'm left here in the dust, just watching from the sidelines, and I'm so full of resentment.

I posted about her right before my life imploded. We had a pretty great life together. Two great kids who got along. A nice place. It was nice.

But I wasn't 'fulfilling her needs', but she never properly communicated them to me. I never knew she was reaching the end of her rope with the relationship. Then the Reddit post happened and everything went to poo poo.

The worst part is, I still have to see her. I can't avoid it because my kid loves her, and I'm the only father the youngest has ever known. She lets me take my little girl on the weekends, even though she doesn't have to, which is great, really. I do appreciate it.

But every time I hear about how great she's doing or how much she's changed, I want to rip out my hair and scream. It's like she's someone completely different.

Her health is improving, which is fantastic, and she can work more than she used to, which is also fantastic.

But she went and got a job in corporate America, even though she's not like that. She gets paid way more than me, and flaunts it by telling me about how she's meeting with lawyers to set up trust accounts for the girls, or how she has a college fund going for my daughter because she's going to college in two years, or how she's going to finance a car, or save up for a house. She has a ton of money in a life insurance account and made sure to tell me how much was in it under the guise of telling me how the kids would be taken care of if she dies.

She never cared about money, but now she's all about it. We're not a trust fund family and never will be, no matter how hard she tries to pretend.

Then she "came out", even though she still acts and dresses like she always has. She bought a prosthetic penis, which just looks grotesque when she wears it and I see the bulge under her skirt. She even bought one that was bigger than me, and won't even talk to me about how it makes me feel emasculated that my ex has a bigger dick than me.

She even listens to different music now, and chews gum?? She never liked gum? She's says it "helps her study".

Now, recently, she's stopped coming by to cook for me and the kids. She's obsessed with studying for an exam to become some hotshot stock broker because she thinks she can do stocks after making some money off of the market last year. She convinced a company to hire her, even though she has no experience with stuff like that.

Jesus Christ, she was a stay at home mom with an antique Etsy business for years, and she thinks she's going to become some Wolf of Wall Street character?

She used to come over once a week to meal prep, but she's taking that away from me, too. She says she's studying for her field's equivalent to the bar exam, which is crazy. She's never even been to school for this poo poo.

And she acts like she's such a hotshot. She wouldn't give me her manger's contact information because of "security reasons" and she says that she has to follow certain government rules these days because of her job, which is bullshit. She doesn't work for the government, she works in a call center. She's practically a telemarketer from what I've heard about her job.

She works with a bunch of men, too, and she's constantly gushing about them. It makes me sick to think of all the men that get to see her and look at her every day.

I'm just so angry about everything she's done in the last few years. She's left me behind and I hate it.

Somebody fucked around with this message at 17:12 on Feb 17, 2022

# ? Feb 17, 2022 16:54

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for not wanting to celebrate my mom on MY birthday?

Lol, another solid AITA twist. One sentence in and thinking 'you're 25, who cares if your mom has the same birthday' and then it zagged on me

# ? Feb 17, 2022 16:58

Brawnfire: Jul 13, 2004; 🎧Listen to Cylindricule!🎵
https://linktr.ee/Cylindricule

Sisal Two-Step posted:

I'm going to repost a classic because there's a fresh update (thanks r/bestofredditupdates again).

AITA for very rarely/almost never wanting to go to restaurants because my girlfriend makes food that's just as good, if not better, than restaurant food?

UPDATE - AITA for very rarely/almost never wanting to go to restaurants because my girlfriend makes food that's just as good, if not better, than restaurant food?

And now, the latest:
the best woman in the world left me a few years ago and it was my fault. I still blame her. (CW: transphobia? maybe?)

lol he doesn't even know which thing to be mad about, he's just mad

# ? Feb 17, 2022 17:03

Pope Corky the IX: Dec 18, 2006; What are you looking at?

Sisal Two-Step posted:

I'm going to repost a classic because there's a fresh update (thanks r/bestofredditupdates again).

AITA for very rarely/almost never wanting to go to restaurants because my girlfriend makes food that's just as good, if not better, than restaurant food?

UPDATE - AITA for very rarely/almost never wanting to go to restaurants because my girlfriend makes food that's just as good, if not better, than restaurant food?

And now, the latest:
the best woman in the world left me a few years ago and it was my fault. I still blame her. (CW: transphobia? maybe?)

I appreciate the content warning, in the future please spoiler the corresponding passage and not the warning itself, that's a bit backwards. I went ahead and did it for you.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 17:12

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Sisal Two-Step posted:

And now, the latest:
the best woman in the world left me a few years ago and it was my fault. I still blame her. (CW: transphobia? maybe?)

normally someone's transformation into a finance bro would be nothing to celebrate, but gently caress it, they've earned it.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 17:14

New Coke: Nov 28, 2009; WILL AMOUNT TO NOTHING IN LIFE.

quote:

She gets paid way more than me, and flaunts it by telling me about how she's meeting with lawyers to set up trust accounts for the girls, or how she has a college fund going for my daughter because she's going to college in two years, or how she's going to finance a car, or save up for a house. She has a ton of money in a life insurance account and made sure to tell me how much was in it under the guise of telling me how the kids would be taken care of if she dies.

I could see how this could be obnoxious, if I had any reason whatsoever to trust the OP's perception of this.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 17:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 30, 2024 16:30

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

r/relationships: It wasn't just about Olive Garden, but it was a lot about Olive Garden.

# ? Feb 17, 2022 17:20

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

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