|
the holy poopacy posted:Reading the comments he clarifies that he is in a romantic relationship with Nat, but takes the position that it doesn't actually matter to his decision to adopt the kid (which is presumably why he didn't talk about his relationship in the OP.) He could literally have prevented that by referring to his "friend" as "girlfriend" in the title or the post. It's very very weird that he didn't and keeps being defensive about it.
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 17:55
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 28, 2024 01:20 |
|
|
the holy poopacy posted:Reading the comments he clarifies that he is in a romantic relationship with Nat, but takes the position that it doesn't actually matter to his decision to adopt the kid (which is presumably why he didn't talk about his relationship in the OP.) pretty classic case of weird redditor logic
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 17:55
|
|
|
Absurd Alhazred posted:He could literally have prevented that by referring to his "friend" as "girlfriend" in the title or the post. It's very very weird that he didn't and keeps being defensive about it. Yeah I’d be more inclined to think that he’s not in a relationship with her and just saying that to get redditors to stop telling him he’s insane. As long as he’s not pining for her and is going in with eyes open, and as long as she has enough [platonic] love and respect for him to make room in her life for him to be a real father to her son, then it’s totally fine and actually really beautiful. Those are a couple really big Ifs but assuming that’s all true ten good for him.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 18:25
|
|
|
therobit posted:Yeah I’d be more inclined to think that he’s not in a relationship with her and just saying that to get redditors to stop telling him he’s insane. As long as he’s not pining for her and is going in with eyes open, and as long as she has enough [platonic] love and respect for him to make room in her life for him to be a real father to her son, then it’s totally fine and actually really beautiful. Those are a couple really big Ifs but assuming that’s all true ten good for him. I can't think of too many sane 27m who would want to take on the task of raising a child for a platonic friend. The normal reasons aside, but it's basically a nuke for his personal romantic life if he and the mother aren't together and never were. Can't imagine anything more likely to make a date ghost you then finding out you adopting your "totally platonic" friends' child and are living with them. There's also a massive disconnet between this quote:Asking a question is suddenly being defensive? 😂 Nat and I are taking things slow in our relationship for Rowan’s sake, but that is separate from the current issue with my mom and what happened today and this quote:I offered to have her stay with me and not to worry about baby stuff until she got back on her feet. When Rowan was born I fell completely in love. After taking some time to think and talking it out between eachother we decided to start the process for me to become his legal father. "moving slowly" and "legally adopting her son" are two wildly opposing situations.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 18:33
|
|
|
it reads like he is pining for her and she is manipulating him into providing housing and soon child support. when she gets into another relationship this guy will then have to split custody with 2 other men and her. None of this makes sense, and I do not blame the mother who has probably exhausted her opportunities to get through to her dense son, for going behind his back to address the blindingly obvious problem this could cause.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 18:37
|
|
|
greazeball posted:Those scams prey on exactly the same boomer brain weakness that causes people to lie about buying houses for their kids and poo poo. They want to be "needed" and they've got nothing to offer people except bitterness, spite and money. Then here comes a scammer saying they need a big strong wealthy person to take care of them and of course they fall for it because that's exactly what they want too. One of the most satisfying feelings in my life was listening as my father slowly realized that I had never borrowed money from my parents, didn't have any sort of legal or financial obligations to them, and didn't give a poo poo about any of the stuff I still had in their attic upon explaining that I no longer wanted anything to do with him or the rest of the family.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 18:44
|
|
|
Pope Corky the IX posted:I’ve been saying “stay cramped” with a similar inflection I use for “get hosed”
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 18:46
|
|
|
WoodrowSkillson posted:it reads like he is pining for her and she is manipulating him into providing housing and soon child support. when she gets into another relationship this guy will then have to split custody with 2 other men and her. None of this makes sense, and I do not blame the mother who has probably exhausted her opportunities to get through to her dense son, for going behind his back to address the blindingly obvious problem this could cause.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 18:47
|
|
|
PetraCore posted:Biodad has no legal rights. according to OP, yes, i would hesitate to trust him. and in that case, he would then be splitting it with her and her new husband, and his only connection to the child is that he housed rowan's mother for a couple years. good luck maintaining a relationship with the child once there is another man in the picture that presents a consistent presence in the child's life.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 18:50
|
|
|
Apparently I [27f] was unintentionally doing a ‘sexy baby voice’ to a male co-worker on Zoom and now my bf [28m] is upsetquote:I work from home, and my bf was in the room while I was taking a call. His ears perked up as I started talking, because according to him, I was talking weirdly. Anyone else sick of all these sexy babies??
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 18:52
|
|
|
The Bramble posted:Apparently I [27f] was unintentionally doing a ‘sexy baby voice’ to a male co-worker on Zoom and now my bf [28m] is upset Much more interesting than the How do I go about the baby talk? I saw earlier (the literal talk with your partner about having children)
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 18:56
|
|
|
If he is legally adopting the child, then the biological father would have no rights, nor would a future stepfather. He would have presumably every right an involved, biological father would have if she decided to leave. If she didn’t let him se the kid he could take her to court for a custody order. I agree there is a distinct possibility she is trying to saddle him with an obligation to pay child support in the future and support both of them now, but without knowing how much money he is making I am not sure it would make sense to do that because he’s paying for everything now without giving him legal rights regarding her child.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 18:57
|
|
|
Next step is insisting that she only accept women as clients, and to tell all her male clients to gently caress off if she can't stop having phone sex with them.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 18:58
|
|
|
A friend once dated a woman who would not turn off her Sexy Baby Voice in inappropriate situations, but she knew what she was doing.Invisible Clergy posted:Tragically, you know who can't answer questions like this anymore in more exhaustive detail, but if OP's goal was to continue stewardship over her faildaughter after she dies, then yes, the normal thing to do would be to cut the inheritance in 3 equally sized slices, give Anna and Bella their money, and establish something called a spendthrift trust for Clara. Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 19:07 on Feb 23, 2022 |
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:01
|
|
|
therobit posted:If he is legally adopting the child, then the biological father would have no rights, nor would a future stepfather. He would have presumably every right an involved, biological father would have if she decided to leave. If she didn’t let him se the kid he could take her to court for a custody order.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:03
|
|
|
The Bramble posted:Apparently I [27f] was unintentionally doing a ‘sexy baby voice’ to a male co-worker on Zoom and now my bf [28m] is upset 
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:04
|
|
|
Halloween Jack posted:This is reaching back, but I got the impression that Clara is partially disabled, not a layabout.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:05
|
|
|
WoodrowSkillson posted:i do not blame the mom at all for not trusting a woman is who making her son the legal guardian of her son without even being in a relationship with him I know plenty of people have reacted to this but is absolutely deserves another 'what the gently caress is this poo poo' People can co-parent and not be in a romantic relationship, it happens all the time. I know it turned out they're actually dating now, but jfc If two friends raising a kid and building a family together makes these people happy, what the gently caress should the mom have any say in it? She just wants everyone to do the nuclear family thing, and rip this kid's life apart in an attempt to force a man with no interest in him to raise him. OP loves the kid enough to choose to be a parent and go through all the legal processes therein and everyone thinks he's rushing into things. StrangersInTheNight fucked around with this message at 19:22 on Feb 23, 2022 |
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:17
|
|
|
Stumbled on this reading the reply to an older post above.Lazy_Liberal posted:i don't remember how checks work. ain't there a time limit on depositing those lovely things? in any case, rear end in a top hat move. Invisible Clergy posted:Most checks typically last 90 days for exactly this reason. You can print that on your checks, but most institutions say in their account agreement that while they may enforce such provisions at their discretion, if you write a check you need to be prepared that someone will eventually negotiate it. Once it passes the teller, the institution it is drawn on will probably pay it. Insurance drafts are a different story.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:17
|
|
|
The kid's father who is currently in prison will do a much better job of raising this child than my son.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:20
|
|
|
but it didn't even come from her son's jizz
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:22
|
|
|
The Bramble posted:I don't know what it is about middle-class white Catholic families but I feel like of the many I've met, they all fall into one of two categories: 1 doesn't exist because Catholic converts are not Catholic.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:29
|
|
|
The Bramble posted:Apparently I [27f] was unintentionally doing a ‘sexy baby voice’ to a male co-worker on Zoom and now my bf [28m] is upset I think people change their voice up on Google Meets/Zooms without fully realizing it, the end result being who knows what. I was made pretty uncomfortable last year when a student joked that I should start an AMSR based on my Zoom voice. One person's professional might sound like someone else's sultry.  lol on closer reading I think I wind up doing what the OP lady is doing, if bf wasn't an insecure putz he'd make it into a subject of light ribbing, and not IHM EMASCULATED AND CUCKED A BWOO BWOO as predictably happened.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:33
|
|
|
please keep the vtuber chat to the relevant threads
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:34
|
|
|
empty sea posted:My step-mom used to rearrange my room as a teenager and again when I was a loving 30 yr old, not even finding my vibrator once was enough to put her off. It was infuriating and part of why I don't talk to her now. It's hard to describe how angry it makes you right? I have to be careful with our kids, they're still little so we periodically go through their stuff to organise ot and tidy their rooms but there has to be a cut off point when we stop. I guess it's when we ask if it's ok and they say no, or we do it one too many times as they get older.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:37
|
|
|
StrangersInTheNight posted:I know plenty of people have reacted to this but is absolutely deserves another 'what the gently caress is this poo poo' people co parent their own child with people they are not in a relationship with anymore all the time yes, friends do not do that all the time. and this guy is supposedly "taking it slow" with his relationship to the woman but is ready to adopt her kid? Nah man, he is using this to stay close to her, and she is using him to get child support. The kids life got ripped apart by his biological father being sent to prison, not by this.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:42
|
|
|
I am also incredibly doubtful of his claims that the Bio Dad has no parental rights.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:49
|
|
|
if everyone was on the level and they were both committed to doing right by the kid, then taking their relationship slowly is exactly what they should be doing I choose to believe the post is a masterfully constructed troll since it fits so neatly into conflicting narratives
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:51
|
|
|
WoodrowSkillson posted:people co parent their own child with people they are not in a relationship with anymore all the time yes, friends do not do that all the time. and this guy is supposedly "taking it slow" with his relationship to the woman but is ready to adopt her kid? Nah man, he is using this to stay close to her, and she is using him to get child support. The kids life got ripped apart by his biological father being sent to prison, not by this. There's literally nothing wrong with that. It's none of your business. People can care about each other genuinely and not be playing weird manipulation games with infants as pawns.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:52
|
|
|
Grape posted:I think people change their voice up on Google Meets/Zooms without fully realizing it, the end result being who knows what. Customer service / talking to coworkers voice and home / around with friends voice are two different things for me. It's basically a must if you are in a customer facing position. Someone needs to show the BF "Sorry to Bother You."
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:54
|
|
|
PetraCore posted:It's none of your business. Well that’s not exactly correct because he posted on the internet asking for judgement about the situation. He essentially got the world involved in his business.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:54
|
|
|
MarcusSA posted:I am also incredibly doubtful of his claims that the Bio Dad has no parental rights. He says in the comments the bio dad got a life sentence without possibility of parole. Maybe he'd still need to sign something but uh he's not going to be in the kid's life in a meaningful way.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:55
|
|
|
MarcusSA posted:Well that’s not exactly correct because he posted on the internet asking for judgement about the situation.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:56
|
|
|
PetraCore posted:It might not happen all the time but it does happen and can be fine. yeah, maybe it's because I grew up in and around a lot of non-nuclear families, but co-parenting with someone you aren't in a sexual relationship with doesn't seem that weird to me. admittedly I don't see it happen with guys a lot other than ones raising a kid with an amicable ex, but platonic female co-parents aren't vanishingly rare
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:58
|
|
|
MarcusSA posted:I am also incredibly doubtful of his claims that the Bio Dad has no parental rights. Yeah especially his idea that it'll never be a problem either. It absolutely reeks of a situation where he's been pining for Nat for years and this situation gave him an absolute perfect situation to pull the xkcd comic about "we could be friends!"
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:59
|
|
|
PetraCore posted:This guy clearly wants to be a father, when he saw his friend's newborn he was helping care for he wanted to be a father to this baby, biological father is a piece of poo poo who's not in the picture so mom is fine with him legally adopting her kid so her kid has a father that's not a piece of poo poo, and in the process they get closer and start dating, although they're taking it slow and focusing on the kid. If this is really what's happening, then yes, it's wonderful and beautiful and all that. It's pretty non-standard, and these reddit posts often have unreliable narrators. So I think speculation about ulterior motives on both OP's part and Nat's part is well within the scope of this thread. I hope that what he wrote is all that's going on, and your summary above is accurate. I can't shake the feeling that in five years Nat's going to be with someone else, child will have a step dad, and OP will be posting in incel forums about ungrateful 'females.'
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 19:59
|
|
|
Hellblazer187 posted:He says in the comments the bio dad got a life sentence without possibility of parole. Maybe he'd still need to sign something but uh he's not going to be in the kid's life in a meaningful way. That seems pretty convenient. The dad would still have to sign something and I'm not sure the courts could force it if he refused tbh.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 20:01
|
|
|
Hellblazer187 posted:I can't shake the feeling that in five years Nat's going to be with someone else, child will have a step dad, and OP will be posting in incel forums about ungrateful 'females.' I mean, "bitter father posting about parental alienation and being replaced by a step-dad" also happens often enough to biodads
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 20:05
|
|
|
Evil Willow posted:AITA for jokingly saying I'll wear white to my best friend's wedding? AITA for uninviting my best friend to my wedding? quote:TA I don't want to use my main for this
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 20:46
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 28, 2024 01:20 |
|
|
Yeah I want to be clear my argument is that if this is a mistake, it's a mistake that he could make just as well with a biological child, and the narrative his mom is pulling about him 'raising another man's child' isn't helpful at all because the DNA is the least important part of this entire situation. On that basis alone I think he was right to get upset with her. Adopting a child is a huge life decision and mom's right to speak up if she doesn't feel like he's ready for it or that he's moving hastily, but being right to speak up doesn't mean you're immune to the consequence of 'people get mad at you' and acting like this is a situation where he's getting babytrapped is kind of ridiculous when in any interpretation of events he's got full agency in the decisions he's making.
|
|
#
?
Feb 23, 2022 20:46
|
|