Mx. posted:

Husband is obsessed with Ukraine news and is ignoring everything else in his life (including his kids) because of it

The Maroon Hawk posted:

Neito posted:

I thought that story came from a goon? I wanna say Cowslips, but maybe that's the Watership Down av?

Plucky Brit posted:

Surely you mean .

DeeplyConcerned posted:

Guys please. The acid vat is right here. is it the most humane method? No. but it's really not that bad and the acid really makes clean up a self-solving problem.

Angrymog posted:

We used to breed rabbits for sale (mainly to restaurants) in India, but to keep the breeding records straight the does and bucks we used for breeding had names, and occasionally one of them would find its way to our dinner table.

I knew they weren't pets, and my parents never ever encouraged me to think of them as pets (in fact the cats and ducks were the only pet animals. The chickens and rabbits were food, and Sophie the dog was a guard animal), but I'd still be a bit sad when we ate one of the named ones.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Just not the Mom Dad wants.

value-brand cereal posted:

Im imagining the wife waking up to shake ants out of her ear canals and nostrils. Who the gently caress eats in bed? Thats how you get ants.

quote:

So my husband and I got married about a month and a half ago. We've been together for three years and everything in our relationship has been perfect. Goals and values, religion, he treats me well, the whole nine yards. We're soul mates and we really have had a fairy tale romance. We even saved ourselves for marriage as we're both pretty devoted Christians, not that that's something that's required for all Christians, it was our choice. Saving ourselves for one another for so long has strengthened our bond and been very special for us, so please, don't knock us for that.

So, I'm a normal weight for my height, and he's slightly overweight, probably by thirty or so pounds. However, this has never affected my attraction for him. He's a self described foodie and has always loved eating, to the point where he'll absent-mindedly hum to himself and bounce up and down while he's enjoying a meal. He especially likes to bring snacks into bed with him to eat before going to sleep. None of this ever really bothered me until our wedding night.

I know this is going to sound weird and it's also sort of embarrassing for me to talk about, even in text, so please bear with me. On night of our wedding, he had saved a good portion of our wedding cake along with some garlic mashed potatoes and chicken from the buffet to bring into bed with him. A little excessive even by his standards, but I assumed he was in a celebratory mood. However, when he started getting frisky and engage in "wedding night" style activities, he didn't stop eating.

In fact, he encouraged me to share the food with him as he was touching me. Naturally I was really freaked out, so I kind of tried to laugh it off, but he only became more insistent. I really didn't want to disappoint him, despite my not really being into it, so I relented and nibbled on some cake. With that he got even more excited and tried to stuff some more into my mouth, which I sort of dutifully accepted, while he did the same to himself. I won't go into more detail than that, but I will say we did end up consummating our marriage even though it was nothing like I had imagined it to be.

Since then I've felt less than positive about that experience and his increasing stubborn desire to incorporate food into our love life. I sat him down a few weeks ago to talk about it, and he tried to brush it off as no big deal. The problem is he's very private about sex due to our religion. The conversation hasn't been easy for me either but he kind of shuts down when I bring it up. He said that food has always been "a thing for him" I'm assuming sexually, and that it's non-negotiable for him and always going to be a part of our bedroom activities or there will be no bedroom activities. I even stooped to remind him that gluttony was a sin and he then reminded me that we're married now, "for better or for worse."

What do I do? This man has been the love of my life for the past three years, and in every other respect we're perfect for one another. I want to be with him for the rest of my life and start a family together, but I don't know if I can get past this. It's not something that I'm into at all and I feel dirty and wrong when we do it, but I want to be a good wife and please him. I just can't get past feeling as though I've been duped. I love him, I won't and can't leave him over this. Please advise.

TL;DR: Husband and I saved ourselves for marriage, turns out he has a secret food fetish (?) that I was never aware of, unsure of how to move forward as I love him but I don't like food in the bedroom, it makes me feel weird and disgusted.

sugar mouse posted:

Honestly, having separate rooms for sleeping does the world of good sometimes. Then you can do whatever weird things you like in your own bed.

I like crisps in bed in the morning while I'm reading this.

quote:

Ok. This isn’t the judgment on why it happened in the first place. I let my son Jake (14) just kinda doing his own thing. He is mildly autistic and has hang ups about certain foods so I basically let him eat whatever he has wanted. He also loves video games so his activities was that. He hasn’t had gym class or recess since elementary school because he takes band instead of gym.

His teeth was giving him issues and his doctor ran some blood work and the doctor said he’s has mild scurvy. Autistic or not I’m forcing him to eat better with a nutritionist, child psychologist, and his primary care doctor. He’s on a strict diet and he goes outside to do some exercises. He also has to get vitamin c IVs. Jake hate me for forcing him to listen to the doctors. My husband thinks I’m being mean but it was my hands off approach that caused this. Everyone thinks Jake is capable of eating properly. He’s just refusing to do so. The doctors and psychologist new approach is now no food in the house that Jake will revert to eating. His school was alerted to the issue by a social worker and Jake has to eat his lunch observed. My husband is becoming an issue because he will sneak Jake food and act like we are abusing or bullying Jake. We are all trying to enforce a healthy lifestyle and my husband left me tonight saying he won’t stay with me if I continue to agree to this. He’s sleeping at his friends house and Jake think I’m a loving monster for making him eat healthy and exercise.

quote:

My son is in the thinking that everything healthy is gross or men don’t eat that. It’s been a battle.

He has his own hang ups about food that he got from his father. Like girly foods or rabbits food. I have two other daughters (non autistic) that eat a good diet for their age and has no health issues. My husband is from a long line of steak and potatoes men. So Jake’s obsession with chicken nuggets, hot dogs and burgers with out veggies was never an issue with him. He said he always ate like that when he was younger.

Soul Dentist posted:

POTATOES HAVE loving VITAMIN C MY DUDE

Barudak posted:

Isnt it in the skin of potatoes? So like, mashing and fried gives you nothing

Barudak posted:

Isnt it in the skin of potatoes? So like, mashing and fried gives you nothing

sugar mouse posted:

Honestly, having separate rooms for sleeping does the world of good sometimes. Then you can do whatever weird things you like in your own bed.

I like crisps in bed in the morning while I'm reading this.

Dazerbeams posted:

I genuinely love it when goons share their disgusting habits in here.

My[26F] husband [30M] of 1.5 months saved ourselves for marriage, discovered he can't make love without incorporating lots of food and I hate it. Help!

Mx. posted:

sicko


AITA for forcing my son to change his lifestyle after I found out he has scurvy?

but why would the husb-

ah

quote:

Intravenous Ascorbic Acid (also known as vitamin C or L-ascorbic acid), is a process that delivers soluble ascorbic acid directly into the bloodstream. It is not approved for use to treat any medical condition.[1]

The use of intravenous ascorbic acid as a proposed cancer treatment or co-treatment has been a controversial topic since the emergence of misleading data in the 1970s.[2]

quote:

He’s been passionate about the conflict for a long time - well before the invasion. He feels so strongly for the people of Ukraine and hates that they aren’t getting more help. Last night he told me that he’s researching the best way to go there and fight.

I love his compassion. I feel the same way about the poor people out there who are fighting or fleeing for their lives. However, I was a little blindsided by this sudden announcement and I’m not sure if how I’m feeling is selfish of me.

I’m in school full time, not working. His income is what keeps our small household afloat. I have no family in this state, though I’m close with his mom and dad.

He’s been struggling with his career. It’s a job he’s had for 16 years that was completely upended due to management changes. He doesn’t feel like he belongs there anymore and it’s been really tough on him. I can’t help but feel he’s wanting to do something like go off to fight in Ukraine as a way to make him feel like he’s doing something that matters. To me that feels drastic.

And, the part that’s making me feel selfish, I feel like he didn’t consider me or our personal lives at all in his decision. In the big picture, is our relationship and comfort more important than all the lives being affected in Ukraine right now? Of course not. But for me, him and our relationship and our home is my world and him leaving and potentially dying would absolutely destroy me.

I guess I’m not so much looking to validate my feelings. They are what they are. But I’m curious how you all would handle this.

A little more background - we don’t have kids and aren’t planning on any. We have two cats, a dog, and a bunch of fish for children instead. We are currently renting. While my family isn’t here, I do have a great support system in the area.

Dazerbeams posted:

I genuinely love it when goons share their disgusting habits in here.

My[26F] husband [30M] of 1.5 months saved ourselves for marriage, discovered he can't make love without incorporating lots of food and I hate it. Help!

Mx. posted:

sicko


AITA for forcing my son to change his lifestyle after I found out he has scurvy?

but why would the husb-

ah

Baronjutter posted:

My guts are broken and I had to go FODMAP diet which involves no onion or garlic and my russian wife has gone along with it. That is true love.

Mx. posted:

humans and guinea pigs are the only animals that can get scurvy from vitamin c deficiency


My (35F) boyfriend (36M) of nearly 10 years is seriously considering going to Ukraine.

OP's BF is in the US and has zero military experience

quote:

My parents asked me what i wanted for my bday (they live overseas), and i said nothing. I dont want any prep or food. I just wanted to rest. On the day of my bday they decided to order food and send it to me as a surprise.

I live alone and i had to desperately distribute the food to neighbors in my 4 storey, non-elevator building before it went bad or the cake melt. When i finished my parents called to check and I told them i gave it away before it melted or went bad. They got mad that i didnt even bother to read what was written on the cake.

They said that i was being ungrateful especially since “it’s not just your birthday, but a celebration of us being parents for this long”.

So i wonder if i’m the rear end in a top hat for having told my parents I didnt want anything, have that request be ignored, and then not celebrate this day as theirs?

CLARIFICATIONS! •I have a difficult relationship with my parents but i felt it was unfair of me to put that in.

[b]•I live alone and what was sent was trays of lasagna, macaroni, party-sized fried chicken, brownies, 5liters of soda, kalamari, and a 4tiered 8” icecream cheese cake[b]

•My birthday is on feb29. Its now feb27 (a meal prep day that my parents know about) so i have no room in my fridge and it came real sudden given it wasnt even my bday just yet.

Dazerbeams posted:

I genuinely love it when goons share their disgusting habits in here.

sugar mouse posted:

Honestly, having separate rooms for sleeping does the world of good sometimes. Then you can do whatever weird things you like in your own bed.

I like crisps in bed in the morning while I'm reading this.

8one6 posted:

Agreed. To be honest I don't think I've ever loved anyone enough to give up onions or garlic for them.

Ziv Zulander posted:

Are vitamin c IVs ever given as a real treatment? That part raises my suspicions as fake. As far as I know they’re a purely bullshit medicine given to people with cancer, and more lately Covid, who are desperate to treat their disease in a natural way. The wiki article literally starts out like this

Maybe it’s a thing for scurvy, I don’t think so but I’ve been wrong before, but my understanding is that scurvy is trivially easy to prevent and that literally anything with vitamin c such as potatoes or the red sauce on a pizza will be enough to ward it off. Scurvy is a nonzero problem, but it shouldn’t need much more than a vitamin pill or eating a dang orange to prevent.

As penance for calling fake on this, here’s my favorite educational article about scurvy and its role in the early exploration of the arctic and its eventual discovery as a deficiency disease

https://idlewords.com/2010/03/scott_and_scurvy.htm

Vinny Possum posted:

WIBTA if I don’t attend my daughter’s wedding

quote:

About ten years ago, a close friend of our daughter's came out as gay. This friend in particular slept over at our house so much that she was almost like a daughter to us. We even had a separate bed in our daughter's bedroom just for her. When we found out she was gay, our husband and I had a discussion about whether we should continue to let her sleep in our daughter's bedroom, or if we should move her to the guest bedroom. We were hesitant, but we had a conversation with our daughter, who was 17 at the time, and she told us that even if her friend tried anything, she would shut it down because she was straight. It made sense, we believed our daughter was trustworthy and responsible, and so we allowed the friend to continue sleeping in her room.

Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. They finished senior year and went off to college. We never suspected anything. Everytime they would come home for the holidays, my daughter brought a boy with her and my daughter's friend brought a girl with her. Come to find out, that the boy we thought our daughter was dating was actually dating the girl that we thought our daughter's friend was dating.

And the way we found out is because one day I get an invitation in the mail. To a wedding. For our daughter. And her friend. I was so confused. I called my daughter, thinking there had been some type of typo or something. No answer. I call the friend and I can barely ask, "What's going on?" before the friend breaks down crying and confesses that her and my daughter have been in a relationship for a decade, which was around the time we agreed to let her sleep in our daughter's room.

My husband and I felt - feel - so betrayed. Our daughter gets on the phone and says, "Mom, Dad, I know you're upset and I promise we'll talk after the wedding and I'll explain everything."

I said, "Okay, we'll talk after the wedding." I hang up. The next day she calls me. I pick up and say, "Why are you calling me? I thought you didn't want to talk until after the wedding." She said, "We are, but I wanted to know what times you're available so we could go get measured for our dresses."

And I said, "What do you mean 'we'? You don't that your father and I are going to your wedding, do you? You lied to us for ten years. For no reason. And you expect us to just automatically disregard that? We'll talk after the wedding."

I haven't spoken to my daughter since then and the wedding is sometime this month. My husband and I have been getting a lot of calls from family members on botj sides telling us that we're being "selfish" for ruining our daughter's special day over something that "happened ten years ago."

quote:

I never wanted children. I was always careful, always wore a condom, but somehow I ended up getting my ex pregnant. I begged her to abort or to consider adoption but she wanted to keep the pregnancy. We ended up moving in together and I met my wife around the same time. We were in the same friend group and I was instantly very attracted to her, I guess people call it an emotional affair. I told her about my problems and she was supportive and believed if a woman could abort, a man should have the right to walk away.

My ex gave birth to twins and I stayed for the first six months, but honestly I just didn’t love them. I didn’t want to be a father, the feelings weren’t there, and I was becoming very depressed. I hated my life and I think if I stayed I would have ended up severely depressed or an alcoholic. My wife graduated around that time and was moving back to California (we were in New York, so across the country) She said I should come with her and start over. She said something that really stuck with me about how if I don’t walk away now I can’t do it in five years, and right now is the moment to hurt my kids the least.

I told my ex that it wasn’t working and I didn’t want to be a dad. I move to California and married my wife, but I paid all of my child support, paid for their education, extracurriculars, etc. when the twins were eighteen they wanted to meet me, and I felt ready. My son and I built a good relationship but my daughter hates my wife. She wants her to apologize for telling me it was alright to leave, which obviously even if she did say that, I made the decision.

My daughter is getting married and recently said my wife is not invited. I told her that is incredibly disrespectful and you can’t invite half of a couple. She said she is selfish and evil and just said those things so I’d move with her. I’ve fully paid for this wedding, which I probably wouldn’t have if I knew this ahead of time, but I told her I will not publicly disrespect my wife.

Edit: I am deleting this account but someone told me that people are looking up the user name and harassing some lawyer. My wife is not a lawyer. Please, you can think i am a mega rear end in a top hat, but leave that woman alone.

quote:

Two of my daughters are getting married on the same day (I know smh). The older one thought the younger one did it to be malicious, but we've since confirmed that the wedding hall that the younger one wants to get married at only had a limited amount of slots, and that the next available slot is almost a year later unless someone cancels.

On top of that, they're getting married on separate sides of the country!

My husband and I decided we would each go to one of their weddings, but now both of them upset, because my older daughter wants me at her wedding, and my younger daughter wants her father to walk her down the aisle.

Okay, fine. We'll switch!

Nope! My younger daughter wants me at her wedding, and my older daughter wants her father to walk her down the aisle!

I'm about ready to throw my hands up!

I was on threeway with my daughters this morning, and they were bickering so much I just got fed up and said that I wasn't going to either wedding and hung up!

I felt bad about it a little later, but I honestly think this is the best solution if they can't be adults and decide this amongst themselves reasonably.

Vinny Possum posted:

WIBTA if I don’t attend my daughter’s wedding

"After me and Samantha divorced due to me meeting my new wife"

quote:

My (M48) wife (Samantha F43) and I adopted our daughter (Cassandra F22) when she was 4 months old. Her bio mom (f38) was a junkie who wanted to get an abortion before her parents got involved and made her keep it.

We provided Cassandra with a nice life in a well-off town, and she even attended a private school. After me and Samantha divorced due to me meeting my new wife, Ashley (F35), almost 10 years ago, Cassandra went through a bit of a rebellious faze that continued until she was about 16. I feared she was going to end up like her birth mom, but between the divorce and welcoming a new child, my hands were tied, so I sent her to live with her grandparents.

What I didn’t know is that her bio mom lived in the same town as my former in-laws and some how Cassandra and her got in touch. They became close, and Cassandra even skipped Ashley’s birthday one year to go on vacation with her bio mom. I hated how close they got, especially knowing the bio moms' past, so I moved Cassandra back in with us, but she moved right after graduation. My ex doesn’t mind the relationship since the bio mom isn’t trying to replace her, but it’s pretty close.

Now onto the conflict. Cassandra is getting married to Ayden (M34) and I’m supposed to pay for the entire thing, which I have no problem doing. However, when I found out that her bio mom was going to be a maid of honor after my ex declined, I lost it. She literally gave her up and wanted her to abort her, and now she’s acting like their best friends. My wife has been an amazing mother figure to Cassandra, and the fact that she’s choosing some random addict over her is disgusting. I’m not going to not pay for the wedding. I love my daughter and I want her to be happy, but I decided to not attend the wedding as it pains me and my wife to see her bio mom taking my wife’s place as a second mother figure.

My son (M20) tells me I’m being a dick.

quote:

“My (M48) wife (Samantha F43) adopted our daughter (Cassandra F22) when she was 4 months old. Her bio mom (F38) was struggling with addiction, which is obviously not a moral failing. She realized she was not in a good position to raise a child and decided on abortion… until her parents got involved and either convinced or forced her (not sure) to give birth and put the baby up for adoption.

We met all Cassandra’s basic human needs and felt it was important to live in a well-off town and send her to private school, so we did.

After I began cheating on Cassandra’s adoptive mother with a much younger woman, Samantha and I divorced. Cassandra was obviously distressed that not only could she not rely on her bio family to be stable and present, she couldn’t rely on her adoptive parents either. Couple that with teenage hormones, and she was a bit rebellious. Who wouldn’t be?

I interpreted Cassandra’s behavior not as a reaction to the volatile situation I put her in, but as sign she was likely pre-destined to experience addiction problems as her mother did.

That said, I was too occupied with the divorce and a new baby (that I’m suddenly mentioning just now) to care for the well-being of my existing child, so I pawned her off on my ex-wife’s parents.

What I didn't know is that Cassandra’s bio mom lived in the same town as my former in-laws. Longing for stability, Cassandra got in touch with her bio mom. They became close. Once, Cassandra chose to go on vacation with her biological mother instead of attending the birthday of the woman I cheated on her adoptive mother with. The nerve!

I resent that Cassandra and her biological mother are reconnecting despite it being emotionally positive for my child. After all, her biological mother once had a problem with drugs and therefore may never be trusted again.

My resentment led me to bring Cassandra back to live with us. She didn’t have a choice at the time, and she left as soon as she legally could.

I’m going to pretend I care about my exes feelings for a moment… okay, done.

Now, onto the conflict. Cassandra is getting married to Ayden (M34) and I'm supposed to pay for the entire thing, which I have no problem doing. However, when I found out that her bio mom was going to be maid of honor after my ex declined, I lost it. It is not acceptable that she has grown as a person and formed a close bond with her biological daughter. Once you decide not to abort, but that your child would have a better life with more stable parents, you must wear your awful-mother label forever. I don’t care whether it’s emotionally fulfilling for my child. Bio mom needs to back off. Emotional growth, be damned.

The fact that I believe Ashley has supported my daughter overrides what my daughter has experienced. I'm not going to not pay for the wedding. I love my daughter and it’s important that people think I want her to be happy, but I decided to not attend the wedding as it pains Ashley and myself to see a public demonstration of their revived relationship instead of what we expected — ourselves being centered despite our hurtful choices.

My son (M20) tells me I'm being a dick. He is correct.”

Arsenic Lupin posted:

My son had colic, where a baby screams all the time. I was breastfeeding him.

Nurse: You need to give up spicy food.
Me: Okay, so you mean hot peppers and like that?
Nurse: No, I mean onions and garlic.

Reader, I did. For about a week. The colic continued, and I was relieved to go back to my ordinary diet.

Soul Dentist posted:

POTATOES HAVE loving VITAMIN C MY DUDE

Bonster posted:

Apparently scurvy is the only thing it's used for, but it's typically only done for people who can't take supplements by mouth. It's possible, but unlikely, especially for mild scurvy.

Ulf posted:

The Tuesdays of Capistrano come earlier and earlier…

value-brand cereal posted:

I'd imagine it's because the 14 yo refused to consistently take the by mouth supplements over a period of time and this is the only way to treat him. Combine the age with autism and bodily autonomy goes out the window. Also uhhh I suppose doctors are supposed to treat children's curable diseases so cps doesn't get involved? Some with more experience in that regard and medical treatments can probably conjecture better though.

Invisible Clergy posted:

How white was this nurse. Could you look directly at her without going snowblind?