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Methylethylaldehyde posted:C, depending on the current negotiation, legal framework in your country of business, and ongoing drama, it might be a sound management decision to take the bribe in a way that's recorded and use it to extort better terms out of them. Best to ask management if a business ratfucking can be facilitated. I can't believe they tried to bribe me with $7k! Here's the $5k they gave me, don't forget to report the $3k to the compliance team. In stupid work stuff today: My smartcard expires on Sunday. I've been putting it off but I finally drove out to the office to get it taken care of. Got the actual smart card re issued w/ the new information, got home, lots of stuff broken. Went to check the handout the guy gave me at the office on how to fix things - one of the websites is a URL that spans two lines and the left hand side of the photocopy is cut off. Went on the self service helpdesk to try and make sense of what was happening, they had a link on how to straighten out credential problems, which when I clicked on would not let me access it since I didn't have the correct credentials. I eventually got it all sorted without having to go back on site but good lord the amount of downtime a simple smartcard renewal generated today was a bit ridiculous. And it was active downtime too - as in I couldn't get work done because I was researching solutions (which was faster than dealing with our dial in helpdesk). Verdugo fucked around with this message at 23:32 on Feb 24, 2022 |
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Feb 24, 2022 23:24
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Duh, the correct course of action is to take the bribe and tell them to gently caress off you don't deal with criminals.
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Feb 25, 2022 02:54
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Offer a counter bribe, judt to mix things up
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Feb 25, 2022 04:51
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Per some sales ethics training I somehow ended up in at one of my old employer, it's definitely not OK for a potential customer to demand a bribe to get the sale. But it is OK for them to demand that the salesperson takes them to a football game or makes a corporate donation to their preferred charity or something like that. That's just normal business!
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Feb 25, 2022 05:07
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Karia posted:Per some sales ethics training I somehow ended up in at one of my old employer, it's definitely not OK for a potential customer to demand a bribe to get the sale. But it is OK for them to demand that the salesperson takes them to a football game or makes a corporate donation to their preferred charity or something like that. That's just normal business! If I run a charity can I ask them to donate to that one? And next year give myself a bonus for doing suck a great job at fundraising?
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Feb 25, 2022 07:33
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Karia posted:Per some sales ethics training I somehow ended up in at one of my old employer, it's definitely not OK for a potential customer to demand a bribe to get the sale. But it is OK for them to demand that the salesperson takes them to a football game or makes a corporate donation to their preferred charity or something like that. That's just normal business! up to $75 of value.. my ethics stuff says no to charity poo poo too.
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Feb 25, 2022 15:10
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Mine says 'don't, unless it's how business is done there, then talk to your manager'
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Feb 25, 2022 15:29
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I'm going to post this again because my last manager Brad can suck all of the poo poo out of my rear end for being a worthless stain on this planet. My manager contacted me one day and said I should take the day off since I seemed to not be feeling well. A few days later, he joined a call with me and a rep from HR to tell me that taking that day off was a violation of company policy so they were firing me after working there for over a decade. I was so shocked and blindsided that I didn't get to the "what the gently caress?!" thoughts until it was already over. I found out that cowardly prickass prick either got fired himself or left the company a couple of weeks later. I was afraid I wouldn't get unemployment because I was fired but I explained what utter bullshit happened to the state, they contacted my old company, confirmed that's what they actually, for real, actually did to me, and I got unemployment. A manager telling an employee to do something specifically and then firing them days later for doing it. I hope that gently caress and his HR bitch die miserable and penniless. Assholes. Same company that relentlessly insulted, bullied, and then fired a coworker for being gay. He got a lawyer. He won. That place is a poisonous nest of loving assholes.
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Feb 25, 2022 17:28
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I got a question wrong on corporate training because the correct answer was "yes, it is acceptable to pay a bribe if your coworker is literally dying [having insulin withheld] and you report it to the company immediately afterwards" did not expect that shred of empathy from them
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Feb 25, 2022 20:18
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what kind of company is doing the trolly switch problem on their corporate training?
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Feb 25, 2022 20:24
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Is “bribe me or die” a common scenario in your industry?
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Feb 25, 2022 20:26
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Some people in this thread probably sell arms to the house of Saud.
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Feb 25, 2022 20:30
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tater_salad posted:what kind of company is doing the trolly switch problem on their corporate training? For a neat team-building exercise, HR has arranged for you and your workers to be kidnapped and forced to choose who gets shot!
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Feb 25, 2022 20:31
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Cthulu Carl posted:For a neat team-building exercise, HR has arranged for you and your workers to be kidnapped and forced to choose who gets shot! If it's HR then whoever got shot would follow a multi stage interview process of all the hostages.
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Feb 25, 2022 20:38
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Outrail posted:If I run a charity can I ask them to donate to that one? And next year give myself a bonus for doing suck a great job at fundraising? It's not illegal, as evidenced by Trump and his entire family doing that for years. They just make you dissolve the charity and ban you from running one ever again. Your experience may vary based on how rich you are, though. I got to have an awkward conversation with my boss today. I had told him last week I was interviewing for an internal role and I think he thought I wasn't serious about leaving because no one ever leaves our team. I had an offer extended today and it's flat out double the merit pay increase he had for me. The awkward part was me pretending I was even considering staying in my current job. The new job would be way more vendor/customer focused with fewer orders and a lot more planning, troubleshooting and relationship building. It would also be in an industrial area I'm more experienced in/liked better than buying outdated electronics. This job was a life saver when I got it, but I'm so burned out that I have trouble caring about doing basic functions some days. I issue more purchase orders than any buyer in the company has lines on purchase orders in the span of a year. I had someone confirm that to me on Monday and it really hit that I'm probably overworked and had no chance at promotion because I didn't get one after being the sole person doing my job for two years straight. New position's start date is March 16th, so it'll be a race to get my new-ish backup ready to go solo.
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Feb 25, 2022 23:28
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My suppliers mail gift cards to my house so I can't refuse them. I still fired one the next year so I guess I'm not biased?
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Feb 26, 2022 02:52
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MarxCarl posted:- "What good gentleman clubs are near offices and can you expense them if on a business trip?" No you cannot expense it, unless you take a client, also remember to ask your taxi or uber driver for recommendations. Somewhere, a flock of lawyers who specialize in filing harassment suits has gotten especially hot and bothered, and they're not sure why.
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Feb 26, 2022 06:17
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Lazyfire posted:It's not illegal, as evidenced by Trump and his entire family doing that for years. They just make you dissolve the charity and ban you from running one ever again. Your experience may vary based on how rich you are, though. No, it is illegal. Donations to a charity in exchange for favourable treatment still counts as bribery, even if neither party is actually associated with the charity.
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Feb 26, 2022 07:52
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MagusofStars posted:Is “bribe me or die” a common scenario in your industry?
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Feb 26, 2022 15:48
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My former company was served my demand letter on the 23rd. They have 21 days to respond, then my lawyer will give them another 10 as a courtesy. Then we involve the EEOC again. I wish I could see the face of the person who terminated me. Their name is prominently mentioned in the list of HR people who let this happen while I was recertifying FMLA and following all procedures at work, on no disciplinary path for any behavior, and this moron decided to terminate me "for cause." Cause they are bush-league af. They are accused of discrimination in the workplace per the ADA, and the lawyer told them to be advised the demand letter serves as notice there is discrimination in the workplace. Therefore Federal law requires they conduct an investigation into the ADA and FMLA violations as well as discipline any internal employees deemed to be responsible. Get hosed, Mr. HR Director. Legal is coming to talk to you (they probably did on Thursday). I await their response.
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Feb 26, 2022 16:48
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Dr. Faustus posted:My former company was served my demand letter on the 23rd. They have 21 days to respond, then my lawyer will give them another 10 as a courtesy. Then we involve the EEOC again. 
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Feb 27, 2022 02:11
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DACK FAYDEN posted:I certainly hope not - Fortune 500 company you might have ever heard of that sells medical/laboratory equipment - but I guess maybe? If you know of any bribes/kickbacks/payments related to physicians or equipment that eventually gets billed to medicare/medicaid that could run afoul of Stark/AKS/DME regulations, HMU. Maybe a lawyer I intro you to makes you rich.
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Feb 27, 2022 02:23
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I remember reviewing a bid for a project at ASU and coming across some serious WTF. The bid had a clause where donations to the booster club would be taken into account for the bid. So if you donated $100k, they would treat your bid as if it was $100k less when comparing them. I still have no idea how that was okay.
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Feb 27, 2022 03:24
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Dr. Faustus posted:My former company was served my demand letter on the 23rd. They have 21 days to respond, then my lawyer will give them another 10 as a courtesy. Then we involve the EEOC again. Noice Keep us posted, we could do with a vicarious win
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Feb 27, 2022 03:45
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Aramoro posted:Everyone in our company has to take anti-bribery and corruption training which is all multiple choice. The answer is A and B. You get money, the briber gets outed, and anyone else wanting to bribe someone now has a much more riskier proposition in attempting it because the same could happen to them.
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Feb 27, 2022 07:58
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Two days after my company announced a complete removal of all business with Russia, and that all Ukraine businesses using us get our stuff for free, our sub-CEO has now announced a return to the office. Nothing said about testing or masks, just a good old "Lets get back to work". He's been agitating for it for over a year as we have been all remote as we are all computer touchers. We previously said this was a stupid idea, but hey, better to ignore your engineers, eh? I'm leaving at the end of March for a fully Remote gig. gently caress em.
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Feb 28, 2022 16:43
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Sacrificing the business on the throne of skulls named "The Office" has been a real theme this last year plus. Literally every person I know who has gone remote and then been told to come back has gone on to a new job. That's not that many human beings, but I choose to believe vicariously that middle managers are panicking as they realize that the reason for their existence has disappeared. That the corporate sharks they spent year careers coddling are now looking to bite them next. 
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Feb 28, 2022 16:52
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A Festivus Miracle posted:Sacrificing the business on the throne of skulls named "The Office" has been a real theme this last year plus. Literally every person I know who has gone remote and then been told to come back has gone on to a new job. That's not that many human beings, but I choose to believe vicariously that middle managers are panicking as they realize that the reason for their existence has disappeared. That the corporate sharks they spent year careers coddling are now looking to bite them next. Seems like that here. It will take over a month for a "disciplinary" process as i have worker protections, so we shall see how my "No power in this earth will make me risk my partner and mines health on the altar of your back to office crap" goes over. Because i am not coming in, ever. Not with an immunocompromised person in my house. If they ignore my high risk status (protected by law) then my Union will go apeshit all over them. loving upper management assholes
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Feb 28, 2022 17:04
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A Festivus Miracle posted:Sacrificing the business on the throne of skulls named "The Office" has been a real theme this last year plus. Literally every person I know who has gone remote and then been told to come back has gone on to a new job. That's not that many human beings, but I choose to believe vicariously that middle managers are panicking as they realize that the reason for their existence has disappeared. That the corporate sharks they spent year careers coddling are now looking to bite them next. I consider myself incredibly lucky to be one of these people. I went from a company that has a local office to a company that only has its one main office literally 1,000 miles away and will likely never ask me to travel there or relocate. I'm contract to hire right now but the woman I report to says she likes me and the work I do and the plan is to convert me to FTE and I am taking it. They pay me my market value, let me do things the way I know how, and I'm remote for the forseeable future. And because I'm stuck in the hellworld of finance the company is growing so there's very little chance of any kind of collapse for them. To keep on the topic of the thread though, I talked to a guy who still works for my previous company and he said that aside from him there are only a handful of people left from when I left last summer, and he's been actively looking for a long time. Everyone got vacuumed back into the office and all the cultural and procedural progress we made in the last 5 years has backslid into the old command and control culture and of course the shittiest people are getting promoted for doing it. I'm so glad I left that shithole. I have recruiters that I have worked with in the past contacting me to ask if I'd consider going back. Of course I tell them no but one of them joked with me "do you know anyone who would be willing to go work there for a mediocre rate?"
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Feb 28, 2022 17:47
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I’m tired of how loving computer illiterate everybody at my company seems to be, regardless of age. I’m not in IT. This is simple poo poo. Supervisors need to stop suggesting things that have nothing to do with the errors as being the problems. At least my IT calls are quick once they connect without me since I’ve already done the troubleshooting I can do from my end so it is always something that must be done by IT when they call. Zarin posted:I dunno, when training people I figure that it's a multi-step process. Also a large problem at my company. My company does not proofread, there are steps skipped in directions, and the person in our group that is in charge of explaining things doesn’t understand questions and treats new people like they are stupid for asking follow up questions or for clarification, because companies like to keep their employees stupid, apparently. Bored fucked around with this message at 18:23 on Feb 28, 2022 |
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Feb 28, 2022 18:17
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Scientastic posted:No, it is illegal. Donations to a charity in exchange for favourable treatment still counts as bribery, even if neither party is actually associated with the charity. It was a joke about having enough money gets you out of actual punishment. I accepted the new posting first thing this morning. It looks like I'm going to be required to get a corporate cell phone, which I've been able to avoid up to now. I went to the company's IT services page and spent 3 hours looking for any way to request a phone. It's not in "hardware," it isn't part of "telephony," and there's no phones in "accessories." If you search topics related to cell phones or mobile phones or just phones the best match is for the corporate branch, and then everything else is for other areas of the business that I'm not able to get into. I finally gave up because I found a Bring Your Own Device workflow. I submitted one of those and also a ticket asking for the new phone workflow. I can't believe just how miserable this process was and probably will remain.
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Feb 28, 2022 19:44
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Bored posted:I’m tired of how loving computer illiterate everybody at my company seems to be, regardless of age. I keep having to reteach the same person how to copy/paste and that you can navigate with arrow keys. We work 50% in Excel. It's kind of important to know. This person is under 35. I sympathize. e: I've been reminded in another conversation that I also had to teach them addition in the past week SkyeAuroline fucked around with this message at 23:40 on Feb 28, 2022 |
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Feb 28, 2022 21:21
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SkyeAuroline posted:I keep having to reteach the same person how to copy/paste and that you can navigate with arrow keys. We work 50% in Excel. It's kind of important to know. This person is under 35. in an old job I had to very heavily protect a workbook that I didn't own (someoen elses process but in same office) because the worker would continue to delete / type in calculated cells. It was real easy it was a gas surcharge calculator based on miles driven per vehicle. Person running it would continually type in the auto calc fields or whatever and then gently caress the workbook up. after the 3rd time I basically told the person I was going to protect them from themselves.
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Feb 28, 2022 21:50
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e: nm
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Feb 28, 2022 21:55
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tater_salad posted:in an old job I had to very heavily protect a workbook that I didn't own (someoen elses process but in same office) because the worker would continue to delete / type in calculated cells. It was real easy it was a gas surcharge calculator based on miles driven per vehicle. Person running it would continually type in the auto calc fields or whatever and then gently caress the workbook up. after the 3rd time I basically told the person I was going to protect them from themselves. A couple of jobs back I got my one and only writeup / official warning ever because if this poo poo. There was a manual process that took between 45 minutes and an hour that we had to do every day that was essentially copying data between spreadsheets, so I decided to automate it. Spent ages getting it right, wrote up the doco, tested it out and everything was fine till one dude decided that the old way was better. He deleted all my automation, and went back to the old method. First time it happened I have him the benefit of the doubt and just restored the automation. Second time it happened I restored the automation and asked him wtf and he gave me some bs answer. Third time it happened, I restored the automation, locked it off, and wrote up in the documentation "good looking and smart people can use the new version, the old version is stored here for Simon to use" which was apparently not the right thing to do, but I stand by my decision.
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Feb 28, 2022 23:28
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I remember a moment working for Fred Meyer. Somebody had accidentally run a cart into somebody else's car. So there I am with another guy writing up the report when I hear yelling. I look back and there is my boss, all six-and-a-half-feet oh him tackling this other guy who's trying to steal a four hundred bottle of champagne that's almost as big as he is. The bottle was thick enough that it rolled off to the side and these two geniuses (the other guy flashed a gun at our loss-prevention person) tried to make a run for it except that you had about eight cops maybe a hundred feet away at the Starbucks. Shortest crime-spree ever and we all had a good laugh and nobody got shot! The one time my boss did a solid.
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Feb 28, 2022 23:35
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I hope you loving smashed that Champaign and got wasted on Freddy time
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Feb 28, 2022 23:43
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NPR Journalizard posted:A couple of jobs back I got my one and only writeup / official warning ever because if this poo poo. Lol that owns. I know little about automation but a few times when I've simplified a task with something like running one report instead of a hundred I've gotten dirty looks from some long term cubicle occupants who watched busywork disappear. Another team had a new hire who was given a task that he easily completed with Excel, and a coworker who would do the same task by drawing lines with a ruler on paper angrily asked him if he was there to put them out of a job. Hyrax Attack! fucked around with this message at 00:34 on Mar 1, 2022 |
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Mar 1, 2022 00:31
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Hyrax Attack! posted:Lol that owns. I know little about automation but a few times when I've simplified a task with something like running one report instead of a hundred I've gotten dirty looks from some long term cubicle occupants who watched busywork disappear. Another team had a new hire who was given a task that he easily completed with Excel, and a coworker who would do the same task by drawing lines with a ruler on paper angrily asked him if he was there to put them out of a job. Deadeyed response of the beat down millennials everywhere: 
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Mar 1, 2022 00:40
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TotalLossBrain posted:I hope you loving smashed that Champaign and got wasted on Freddy time We didn't get anything for our trouble but my boss took the grocery crew out to Red Mill and beers and we loved him for it! eta: The only OTHER time my boss did a solid!
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Mar 1, 2022 00:45
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