DeeplyConcerned posted:

for a small fee I will drink and enjoy some juice and describe the experience to you

quote:

I F36 divorced my ex husband 6 years ago, We have a 16 year old son together "Jamie". I remarried to my current husband and have a 10 year old stepson Nick. Jamie and Nick are close and get along most of the time as well. Nick depends on Jamie in a lot of things like helping him do homework, fix and organize his toys, cleaning his room etc. Things have been going great til Jamie started seeing this girl who kept claiming that my husband and I are "parentifying" him by having him do things for Nick and seemed to be filling his head with nonesense about us taking from Jamie his time and not letting him live like other kids his age. My husband had a stern talk to her which caused Jamie to get into a fight with him. Things have been bad since then.

I recently found out that I'm pregnant, We wanted to wait til all mt family were together so we could make the announcement. We did it this past Sunday, and everyone was happy and excited for us except for Jamie who remained quiet for few minutes then loudly asked "So am I expected to take care of this one as well?" My husband and I were shocked. We didn't know what to do, My husband stormed out and I started arguing with Jamie asking him why he said that. He said that because it was the truth, he feels as if he has some type of responsibility towards Nick because of the things he has to do for him and felt that he'll do the same for his half sibling. I told him this is his girlfriend spouting nonsense and brainwashing him cause we expect nothing of him and he was wrong to say that we do. I had to punish him for ruining the announcement and making a scene and making my husband upset. He thought that it wasn't fair he had to get punished for stating an opinion. He blamed my husband for "filling" my head too but my husband is innocent in this except he knew that that girl is being rude and intrusive.

It's been few days and Jamie has gone completely silent about the whole thing.

Boba Pearl posted:

How do you not have time to learn a language if you live with someone that speaks that language???? Am I misunderstanding how this would work? Just ask them the words of things, and talk with them in spanish???(!!!)

quote:

So, my son is 14 years old, and he repeatedly broke my house rules by watching inappropriate videos for his age. I repeatedly confiscated his devices and when returned he went back to doing to it.

A friend of family recommended this wilderness program called redcliff in Utah.

My ex partner has called me an rear end in a top hat for sending our son to this program

before sending to a wilderness program

I took his devices off him 5 times for accessing Inappropriate videos escalating the time scale each time so there was increased consquences.

I Asked my ex husaband to talk with him and he offered to buy pornography for him instead.

The materials he was viewing included

Disrespectful attutidues to women slapping, spitting faces, sodom,

Google searches included: women turned to sex robot. woman turned into dog porn,

Mx. posted:

AITA for punishing my son for how he reacted to my pregnancy announcement?

Jamie's GF sounds great

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Well, you'll be happy to hear the latest report from Spain: Generalissimo Francisco Franco is still dead.

Absurd Alhazred posted:

These shitheads in 10 years on an estranged parents` forum: "and now Jamie finally managed to take Nick away from us! He refuses to return our calls, and little Pnurtis is all upset because he doesn't know who's going to take him to soccer practice! All because of that evil DIL!"

quote:

I (39m) have recently had a disagreement with my partner (29f) about her wanting to go on a short trip by herself to catch up with good male friend (gay) who lives on the other side of the state.

For some background, we've had a tough year, during her pregnancy and also after she was down and not feeling herself and ultimately was diagnosed with post-natal depression. She is still waiting on a psychotherapist referral to come through with an appointment, it's been 4-5 months now. Ridiculous. Anyway she has a phone counselling appt next week however, which I pushed for her to make. I've also started counselling by phone as I have recognised some narcissistic traits and other issues and our relationship has been on and off rocky for most of its duration (over 5 years). We have been a lot better since I took a phone counselling appt and have been trying to defuse situations better.

She went away to see this same friend under 2 months ago. At first I felt the same as I do now but I recognised she was in a rut, maybe needing to get away to "breath". I decided to just let it happen and be supportive. The weekend was busy for me and physically demanding, but honestly it was the most free I had felt in a while and it was an emotional break as I didn't have to deal with her moods and irritability and fights between us.

I thought that would be it. Now she wants to go again. I've made it clear it feels like she's running away from her problems instead of confronting them. Instead of getting into routines like daily walks, or taking up a new hobby or something. She says if she was running away she wouldn't come back. And that she is an adult, who can decide to do this if she wants. For her, to work on herself. She can't really articulate what working on herself means and what it entails. She has been in an OK mood of late so I've no concern she wants to hurt herself etc. I truly think its just her mentality of deserving a break after doing quite a bit of looking after our son.

AITA for insinuating she is a bad parent and is unhinged and is making terrible choices for wanting to leave for 3 days (when she did same 2 mths ago)? It's not about whether I'm capable of caring for him during that time l because I can. It's about whether she "should" leave and whether I am right for criticising and questioning her decision making.

Seth Pecksniff posted:

I feel like promoting her would have been an absolute nightmare for all involved and would have had HR tearing their hair out

Maybe she did deserve it, but you're immediately going to get hit with nepotism and favoritism charges if you do that. I hate to say it but maybe it's better that she didn't get it. Beyond that, she definitely would have been the subject of "sleeping with the boss" rumors because people are idiots

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for sending for my son to wildress threapy program

limp_cheese posted:

I like how talking to her son isn't an option. I'm assuming the dad tried to get him to watch less extreme porn but since it has something to do with sex that's not an option so its off to the gulag for the 14 year old.

quote:

My wife is a couple of months pregnant. She eats a lot of sugary foods and I am concerned about its effect on the development of the baby and the result on its food preferences when its born. My wife said it is "ludicrous" that I asked her if she could eat less sugar while pregnant and that most men "wouldn't ever dream of asking that". AITA?

Edit: ok so it seems like overwhelmingly I'm the rear end in a top hat.

A lot of ppl seem to think I've just decided its harmful based on nothing which isn't the case. I stumbled on this article:-

here

And as a result googled it and read a few more that say similar things. I get that asking someone else to eat healthier has a lot of negative connotations to it, but its not even a bit different if I'm worried about the health of our child? If not, why would it be ok to tell someone not to smoke or drink while pregnant? Its different because lots of sugar only harms the baby 'a little bit'? That seems strange to me.

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for saying my partner is abandoning our family by going away for the weekend?

Mx. posted:

she should invite him to come with ,and then dump him in the ocean like a used battery

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for saying my partner is abandoning our family by going away for the weekend?

quote:

She says if she was running away she wouldn't come back. And that she is an adult, who can decide to do this if she wants.

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for sending for my son to wildress threapy program

quote:

Google searches included: women turned to sex robot. woman turned into dog porn,

Blue Moonlight posted:

huge boob struggles

Invisible Clergy posted:

Because OP is racist. Or if her husband doesn't have time to teach her, duolingo or similar are free.

quote:

So earlier this month my gf’s (29) brother (32m) and SIL (31f) had a baby. Gf was over the moon and super excited, and brother asked her to be the baby’s godmother. A few days after gf mentioned how she wanted to start up a retirement account for the baby.

I wanted to speak up to protest the idea, as her brother and SIL aren’t struggling financially in anyway. Gf and I are currently working our butts off to save for a house, and I feel like that money could go to us instead, and I felt it was a bit ridiculous to set up a retirement fund for a child that’s not even a month old. Setting up a College fund would make more sense instead, but retirement is something the kid should set up in his adult life.

I didn’t tell her of this bc we have separate finances, and I feel I would be overstepping for suggesting it. So Reddit, WIBTA?

EDIT: Thank you all for responding, and message received, everyone. I do admit I’m not well versed in this kind of stuff, it is ignorant and entitled of me to think this way. I have not said anything to gf and I definitely do not plan on saying anything. Although I do have to say that insulting me in the comments is a little unwarranted, but at the same time I guess I do deserve it.

Invisible Clergy posted:

WIBTA for saying that setting up a retirement account for an infant is a bit ridiculous?

quote:

Did you ever talk with friends about what albums or books or movies you liked or didn't like? I never felt under attack if people had different tastes than me. It was fun to talk about the how and why of what we were into.

What we called an interesting discussion in my long lost youth. Apparently it is now rude to engage in a discussion of which artists one prefers. This would be likened to a drive by mansplaining act.of.bro aggression.

One of my college friends (we are both 50) posted a picture of their teenager posing in front of a bookshelf with their comic book collection. I made a comment it needed some good indie books too. My friend seemed kind of annoyed by my comment? I guess she just wasn’t in a mood for discussion on social media. Then some of her other friends came to the FB post and made sexist and ageist comments to me, saying it was typical Gen X guy for me to poo poo on other peoples likes and other stuff like that. I told them to relax and take a chill pill because I was just sharing my opinion and trying to start a conversation with my friend.

I told the parent there was some cool poo poo they were missing,and my intent was I wanted to talk about recommendations and offer to send some poo poo. These parasites made up that I insulted a kid. I made a comment on what would improve a collection hoping to have a nice chat with my friend, and then the mob attacked.

I made a comment to my adult friend hoping to engage in a discussion about comics. No mention of kid. No denigration of kid. I was going to recommend some books, hell I had a box full I wanted to send. I wanted to encourage a young collector to experience some indie books. It took me a while when I was young to discover indie books and I was so happy when I did.

Now I’m an evil mansplaining bro for having an opinion on comic books. I enjoy talking with people about what books, movies, genres, comics, music I like and what I don't. These have been some of the best and most engaging discussions, no, entire relationships of my life. And here the sharks are circling because I'm a bad person for suggesting indie comics are better than mainstream DC/Marvel. Hey disagree with me, but honestly, if you have an issue with someone having a loving opinion about comics, then YOU are the loving problem.

So Reddit AITA for just trying to share my opinions about comics?

MarcusSA posted:

What a dumbass

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for expressing a comics opinion

beme.jpg

I have this lurking suspicion that, like 18 month twins OP, this guy suspects the baby will preemptively retire while it's still a few months old. "Why would they need a retirement account? Babies don't have jobs."

MarcusSA posted:

It’s also probably not even a retirement account because this guy has no clue and is stupid as hell.

quote:

Background: I work for a very toxic company with no HR. I'm the manager of a small team (less than 10).

One woman, the oldest person in the team (10+ years my senior), is known for being a drama queen. At first she was just a person with a tough life, but it became clear she uses that to get away with insane stuff, and that coupled with a complete lack of awareness on how to behave in an office, makes her presence very unpleasant. Unfortunately, she is untouchable.

The issue: I am powerless when it comes to letting her go, or punishing her for contractual stuff so I make sure to strike wherever I can. It works, but it's tedious af. For instance, it took months to make her stop talking about her sex life during team meetings.

Anyways, something she's been doing a lot is to divert any casual conversation in the office to her, and specifically to how old she is vs the rest of us.

Ex:

Her: what are you listening to? Sounds like Rock Band From The 70s.

22 yo team member: oh idk, it's X band, but I dont know Rock Band From The 70s so can't comment on similarities.

Her: whaaaaaaat? You don't know them?? OK I get it, I'm old!! Omg I don't get millennials, how do you not know this band, so weird, dont you have any culture???

Then she'll typically harass everyone else present to get their hot takes on whether she is THAT old. Sometimes it goes further. I dont even know if she's fishing for "omg you're not old" because even that doesn't satisfy her. She can turn anything into that topic. It's giving the team anxiety.

I had my first meeting with her on that. She was very shocked to learn her behaviour was an issue, but agreed to be coached into fixing it.

As always, she's trying to garner sympathy from others. Upper management heard about it. They have more power than i do, but still can't help me as her support comes from higher. They were amused by my "little project". They then made a show of making me sound like a lunatic, ending their patronising speech with "is this really the hill you choose to die on?" Fuming, I told them she should be fired and I'm handling whatever they allow me to since she could take a poo poo on their conf room table and they'd applaud and give her a few days off to recover from the trauma. Luckily I got my point across and they recognised that I'm only making do with what I'm given and that was it.

However, one of them approached me and warned me that from an outsider's perspective, it could look like I'm singling her out and even bullying her. I said you know what, this hill sounds comfy after all. However, I am dying to ask my team if that's how they see it because i don't want them to think they should be afraid of me but obviously I can't so here i am. Do you think I'm being an AH?

Edit to add comment:

I had to remove so many things due to character count I realise now it's not clear at all, but she is unable to do her job (disappears for days, no productivity, unprofessional client meetings, etc), so she's currently paid like a Senior Blabla but is given non urgent, low impact admin tasks. However since termination isn't and will never be an option, this is why I'm working on fixing things that impact others instead. If she was just sitting at her desk watching YouTube all day it'd actually be an amazing upgrade.

quote:

My [37M] family situation is weird but I'll do my best to explain. My father [59M] my brother [38M] and my uncle [58M] base their whole personality on being internet badass / faux military. There are countless pictures of them in "tactical gear" with tattoos and looking like fake military or SWAT. In real life though none of the 3 of them registered for the selective service because they are against being drafted or enlisting in the military. They run from any confrontation. Which is fine except they crow about the military and play soldier and tough guy on social media.

It is also stupid because all 3 of them have latched on to the right wing / militia bandwagon. We aren't white. All 4 of my grandparents were Dutch citizens but they were from what is now Indonesia but it was a Dutch colony before. My uncle, brother and father like to pride themselves on being told they are "one of the good ones" and they don't call out their racist friends. They also are against women being in the military except as nurses and think they shouldn't be allowed to outrank any men. They believe married women should not work ever and unmarried women can do limited jobs like anything related to taking care of kids, secretary, nurse, maid etc etc. It's why my uncle and brother are single. There's a reason I left San Jose and moved to Riverside as soon as I was able because I find all 3 of them disgusting. I only talk to my mom [59F]

Now my mom wants to meet my fiancee [37F] which I'm not opposed to. As long as she doesn't push for grandchildren. We don't want kids (my fiancee has a huge family and tons of nieces and nephews which is enough for us). My mom agreed but she wants to have my dad, my brother and my uncle there too. Besides not wanting them around my fiancee because of their views on women I also don't want them around her because she is actually a member of the military. She joined in 2002 and did multiple tours during the war and now she's still in the reserves. She isn't showy or big headed about being a veteran but I don't want her exposed to the views and stupidity of my brother, father and uncle.

Basically it has caused a rift with my mom. She puts up with her husband, brother and son acting like stupid sexist assholes and is blind to their faults. I try to keep a relationship with my mom and normally we make it work but this is causing strife. My mom thinks I'm majorly overreacting to my brother, father and uncle and wants my fiancee to meet them even though I disagree.

Foo Diddley posted:

AITA for telling my mom she can meet my fiancee, but only her and not my father, brother or uncle?

no actually, having your fiancee meet these guys sounds like tremendous content, you should def do this OP

quote:

My daughter is 17 and my son is 16. My daughter and I have a shared love of baking and we love to bake together. We baked a chocolate cake that we shared with the family. My son didn't want to eat it and he threw it away. I had offered him a slice and he threw his slice away without even touching it.

I don't like my children wasting food and I would have been okay with him not eating it but he thew it away. He then locked himself in his room, I told him that I wouldn't be making breakfast for a week and he needs to learn on his own. He said that was fine with him and he didn't care. He woke up before I did and cooked for himself.

He has continued to cook for himself even after the punishment has ended and he is not spending time with me at all. It has been a month, He has always been very independent and I barely get to spent time with him. He just refuses to spent time with me and always makes excuses. Clearly, something is wrong and I don't understand what is, he has always been independent, he gets good grades and stays out of trouble. This is the first time he acted out and I feel like I may have been too harsh.

Invisible Clergy posted:

Yeah, he probably overheard the grownups talking about 529s and confused them with 401(k)s.

AITA for seemingly bullying a coworker I manage?

Hughlander posted:

AITA for getting upset with my best friend's son for giving my son cake?


You must punish the birthday boy! For the crime of... <checks notes> Sharing his birthday cake!

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for saying my partner is abandoning our family by going away for the weekend?

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for gifting my mom and her husband a book on cheating for their anniversary?

quote:

A few days ago I proposed to my girlfriend of 4 years. To assure that she receives a ring she truly likes, we went shopping together for it. She chose the diamond and size of it, and my cousin who is a jeweler, designed the ring and setting. It came out utterly stunning! We are both very happy with it.

During the process of shopping for the diamond, my cousin let us in on a lot of the industry secrets, and after much conversation and consideration my girlfriend elected to go for a lab grown diamond as it would provide her the size she really wanted and still keeping within my budget. I told her to choose what she wants. I expressed my thoughts and opinions, but the ultimate decision would be on her.

The ring took 6 weeks to make and in that time we had talks about it, and she told me she did not want anyone knowing that it was a lab grown diamond. A natural diamond in the carat size she received is astronomically beyond my budget.

My sister and I are very close and we share lots of information and we never liked “showing off” to one another. So with that, I told my sister that the diamond my girlfriend chose is a lab-grown. I did not want her thinking I can afford such a large, natural, diamond. It almost feels weird getting such a large diamond and not being honest with my sister.

Last night my now fiancé asked if I had told anyone it was lab-grown. I said I just told my sister, who my fiancé is very friendly with. She got extremely mad and upset that I broker her promise. And I apologized and totally understand where she is coming from and how I have broken her promise. At the same time however, I was just telling my sister with whom I am very close with and do not like portraying false images to, like me being able to afford a huge diamond.

Today I told my fiancé that I wish I would have just gotten the smaller, natural diamond because its clear that she is ashamed or embarrassed that it’s lab-grown as she does not want any single person other than us knowing it is lab-grown. And I spent about three months’ worth of salary on it. She responded by saying “If that’s how you felt then you shouldn’t have gotten it”.

And that just really hurt me. When I worked hard to pay for a ring that SHE chose. I gave her the option of lab or natural. She chose lab and then had the audacity to tell me I shouldn’t have gotten it if that’s how I feel.

Am I being overly sensitive about this? I know I broke her trust and promise in telling my sister but for her to tell me I shouldn’t have gotten the lab-grown diamond she chose just hurt me.

TL;DR: My girlfriend chose her engagement ring diamond, she went with lab-grown. She requested I don’t tell anyone that it is lab-grown. I told my sister, whom I am very close with, because I did not want her gaining the assumption that I am able to afford such a lavish and large diamond. I told my now fiancé this and she get rightfully upset. In response I told her that I wish I had gotten a natural diamond as she is clearly embarrassed and ashamed of having a lab-grown, that she chose. She responds to that by saying “If that’s how you felt then you shouldn’t have gotten it”. Am I wrong to be hurt by this, or am I being sensitive?

Mx. posted:

My fiancé [36F] told me [35M] I shouldn't have gotten her the engagement ring diamond I got her, even though she is the one who chose it. Am I wrong to feel hurt about this?

8one6 posted:

Look, your girlfriend just has a very strong preference for diamonds soaked in the blood of child slaves. Can we really judge her for that?

Hold on, I've been handed a note...

Oh think god, yes we can still judge her for that poo poo.

quote:

So, if you see somewhere the sign "no smoking" do you consider also vape as smoking? Tbh I don't, because it's NOT smoking, it's vaping, the thing coming out is not a smoke, but vapor. It doesn't smell badly, it doesn't have any strong smell, not even a bit close to cigarettes.

I mean, not in closed spaces or buildings, but when the sign is for example at the bus stop, anywhere outside, I don't consider vaping as prohibited because of "no smoking" sign. Even the sign shows a cigarette?

I was waiting for a tram, vaping and some grandpa started scolding me, pointing at the no smoking sign (that I didn't notice tbh) etc. I told him it's not smoking but vaping. He said "you will see in a few years." I said it's none of his business and went away from him.

Btw - yeah, I know that vaping isn't a lot better than smoking health wise, but it's still just vapor that smells good versus smoke that smells bad:D Also I just got out of tram, and there is a lot of people on the stop smoking cigarettes?😐

So, AITA for this?

Edit: pls YES, I already admitted that I'm TA, a lot of times, no need for everyone to repeat what everyone else said. Yes I know I'm the rear end in a top hat, vaping bad, I'm obnoxious, mean etc. I think it's no longer necessary to repeat all over that I'm TA, thanks

Invisible Clergy posted:

AITA for vaping when there's a "no smoking" sign?

quote:

...it's still just vapor that smells good...

quote:

I (29M) divorced my wife (28F) after battling cancer and taking care of her for 3 years. This is not at straightforward as it seems.

My ex-wife (let’s call her Maria) was diagnosed with cancer after we were married for 2 years, Maria was 21 at the time and treated in a pediatric cancer center. I was in the military at the time and my chain of command gave me nearly a year off of duties to be with her during her treatments. People do not seem to understand how difficult it is to be in a pediatric cancer ward with small kids, it’s the most depressing thing I’ve ever been around. I would have rather have been at work.

All of the responsibilities were on me. I got hate from everyone around me when they would see me around town or when our car was parked at home, everyone giving me guilt for not being with her in the hospital 24/7. (She was basically living in the hospital, for over a year with only a few days at a time she would be released before having to go back) Her chemo treatments did not go as planned and the doctors told her she was terminally ill. Her family flew across the country to be with her and was surprisingly understanding of me not wanting to be in the depressing cancer ward.

Maria did not accept her terminal diagnosis and got a second opinion, where a doctor offered her a clinical trial which may not work. It was incredibly hard to watch. Maria did not look or act like the woman I married, she lost her ability to walk, she had a feeding tube, she lost all her hair, she was constantly sick… frankly, it was too much for me to handle and she was in good hands with her parents. She willingly signed divorce papers and was understanding at first. All hell broke loose when she discovered I had married my ex, who she was always suspicious of, (for no reason) but I assured her I never cheated on her while we were married. She, her friends, her family, and shockingly most of my own friends disowned me for this.

Well, she miraculously recovered and has been doing well for years (she is friends with my sister in social media and I hear random updates.) I recently found out she got accepted to a medical school, has been traveling, and is back to the girl I originally married. I find myself regretting my decision to leave for many reasons. Am I really the rear end in a top hat for leaving a horrible situation and wanting to return to a place I never thought would be possible again?

massive spider posted:

AITA for leaving my wife when she was terminally ill?

quote:

Hello everyone,

I can't agree with my wife on a principle that seems logical to me, but that she finds very selfish and "loveless".

Here's the situation: we have two cars, a 2010 Citroën c3 in good condition that runs very well that I own, and a 2006 Renault Twingo that is really crappy with repairs to be done and runs badly that we both bought but that belongs to my wife.

I drive a lot more than she does with about 20,000km/year and she about 3000/year

When we talked about changing cars, I suggested that she sell the Twingo to make a deposit and buy a new car.

My idea is to give her my C3 to replace the crappy Twingo, and take the new car for myself.

I find it quite logical to go from a good car to a very good car, and from a crappy car to a good car.

So it's not a big deal, but it's something she's very tense about because she thinks it's selfish that I don't want to keep the good car and that the new good car replaces her crappy car.

To her, I'm "giving her my poo poo" when I'd have a great new car.

To me, we both win because we both get a better car

So, Am I The rear end in a top hat ?

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for wanting to give my old car to my wife and get a new one ?

massive spider posted:

AITA for leaving my wife when she was terminally ill?

Paragraph breaks added

Vim Fuego posted:

massive spider posted:

AITA for leaving my wife when she was terminally ill?

Paragraph breaks added

quote:

who she was always suspicious of, (for no reason)