Captain Hygiene posted:

WIBTA if I asked my father in law to use utensils while cooking?

The secret ingredient? Love skin flakes and blood

Invisible Clergy posted:

Give the company that makes Dude Wipes, the product for wiping your soiled anus if your masculinity is too fragile to contemplate buying a non-gendered baby wipe like 5-10 years and they'll get there. I would go with Launch Pads. They could have little pictures of fighter planes on them.

Captain Hygiene posted:

WIBTA if I don't get my boyfriend the new lego star wars gamefor our 1 year anniversary?

I dunno, he sounds like a real keeper

quote:

Let's get down to business. I've been with my fiancé "Adam" for 5 years and we've been engaged for 7 months. We have a beautiful home together, and we both work really hard at our relationship. The issue isn't with Adam, he does his very best to try to mitigate the situation with his mom, but it's wearing on him, and I worry that one day he'll have to choose. I don't want him to have to do that, that would hurt him too much to choose between me and his family.

There are a lot of situations, but I thought I would highlight the worst/most recent:

About 3 years ago, 1 month after we purchased our house, his mom really needed windows in her house, mold was growing a lot and some no longer had seals. Now, his mom actually has a sizable savings account, enough that she can spend her money frivolously on luxury goods like Birkin bags, and getting her hair done two times a week, her nails, buying a Mercedes every two years, and so on. However, she never budgets for anything. So, she asked him for $25,000 to replace the windows. He said he'd cover them. When he told me, I almost had a heart attack. He said it was a loan and that she'd pay him back. I still have Law School debt to cover and we have a larger-than-we-should-have mortgage. She made a comment to him about how I would let her freeze (?) to death all winter and he had to help her. We took extra out on the mortgage to cover the windows (top of the line, everything.) We still have yet to see a dime, I suppose it went into her new GL-Class. To quote the bard: "Neither a borrower nor a lender be."

Adam and I had a vacation planned a year after the windows dilemma happened, we decided that we'd go to Europe for two weeks as he has never been and I lived there from the time I was 3 until I came to America for school. We set our hearts on Spain and rented a lovely apartment in Barcelona for the two weeks, it was perfect for two. We planned all of our tours and outings around our interests. Adam loves architecture, so we had a few tours solely planned for that. His mother decided that she HAD to come, and she'd never been to Europe either, so she invited herself on our trip. Like I did previously, I tried to appeal to his rational side, but I couldn't get through his emotional side, so I just accepted that she'd be coming along. Well, coach wasn't good enough for her, and she had to have tickets upgraded to business. But she didn't want to travel alone, so she pitched in for a seat for Adam to travel with her. I had to remain in coach alone. Then, she didn't want to stay at the apartment because it wasn't a "vacation" to her, no, she HAD to stay at the W in Barcelona. Where she begged Adam to stay with her, but there wasn't any room for me (?). He tried to reason with her, but she cried and said how sad she was without her husband with her as he passed away before they could ever get to Europe together (He passed away 10 years ago). So, I stayed at the apartment alone while they stayed at the hotel. We were supposed to meet up for breakfast, but she would never get ready on time, so they wouldn't be down until 11am, and we missed most of our outings. I definitely felt like a third wheel and questioned why I even bothered to go on the vacation when I could've stayed home and not felt so alone.

Adam and I began to discuss wedding plans. I would like to keep it relatively low key as my family still lives in Europe, and cannot attend as my father is very sick and we are worried he may take a turn for the worse. Traveling is just not worth it for him, and I wouldn't want him to risk his health for something that is a one day event. I told Adam that I would like just a courtroom ceremony, and his mother and sister of course, and friends. We'd then take everyone out for a very fancy dinner. His mother did not, I repeat, NOT take kindly to this. She said that if her son was going to get married, it would have be a grand affair, for everyone to see. I just keep looking at my side of the seating chart, and the pitiful number of guests. I just want to cry. She has been planning it. I told Adam I didn't want this, I expressly told him that I just wanted a small... really, really, really small event. No go. She won't even hear him. She just refers to me as "her" and "she" and says how I think that I'm too good for a large wedding and that my family is too good for America (?). My family is American, my dad is/was an Ambassador.

This has been happening a lot recently, and this time, it's just been one too many times. Lately, she has been asking for more "together" family time. She lives quite close, but we don't see her all that often as she has friends and events that keep her busy (not too busy to plan the wedding though.) She has requested that we, Adam and I, have dinner with her three times a week. Well, what has been happening is that she has been reserving a spot at the restaurant for 6pm. I don't get home until 6:30 some nights. She has just been encouraging Adam to eat out with her as I am too thoughtless to come home at a decent hour to eat with her son. How lonely that must be for him. It honestly doesn't bother me that he goes out to eat with her that often, but the things she says behind my back, well... I came home early tonight. I left work, and was on the road by 4:30pm, home by 5pm. I surprised Adam as he was just coming in the door when I yanked the door open to greet him happily. He was so excited to see me! I could come to dinner with him and his mom! I told him I just needed to shower real quick and get dressed. He called his mom right away and told her that I would be able to make it, he also make a comment stating he hoped there was a reservation for three tonight. She said that there was, but she thought they'd eat earlier, like 5:30 and was already on her way to our house. She got there at 5:15 and stated that she couldn't wait another second and had to eat right then. Adam said I'd be ready in just another 15 minutes and offered to call the restaurant and request they move us back. She wouldn't hear it. She just whined about being hungry, and how a poor old woman should be expected to wait so his fiancée could fulfill her vain requirements. He came upstairs and asked how long I'd be, I said just another 10 minutes. He said his mom was really upset and hungry, if I could skip a step for him so we could leave earlier? I told him to go ahead without me and I would meet them there. That was fine. I got there, and the table was for two. Of course! Adam said we could make room, but she said how we'd be inconveniencing everyone and I should just go sit at the bar and she'd try to get it fixed. I had one drink at the bar and then left. Came home, calmed down a bit, and now I am writing this.

Wow, that was long. I think I need to get that out there. I guess I figured everything out though. Sorry to bother you, unfortunately, my relationship is over with Adam. I realize this as I poured my heart out to this sub.

Thank you.

tl;dr: Future mother in-law is coming between my fiancé and I... I figured it out though. I think I have to call it quits. Thanks for letting me vent.

quote:

Wow. Wooooooowah!

I really did not expect this kind of attention considering I pretty much came to a conclusion (seems to be the general consensus among you that it's the right one) on my own. But the support! The support you have given me, I'm overwhelmed and feel extremely grateful in a way I cannot express. Through PMs and comment posts, I cried while reading all of them. Some of you shared words of wisdom, some of you shared different perspectives, others shared similar experiences, I feel at a loss for words. Anyway, there isn't a very impactful update... but I figured I would update you on what has happened so far and take this opportunity to say thank you. Thank you.

After I posted a comment on my own thread, and was about 2 glasses deep into a bottle of wine, Adam came home. This was extremely late. He sat down beside me and looked defeated. He just looked at me with hopeless eyes. I asked him if he wanted to talk about it, he said he needed time to process everything that happened tonight. I told him I also needed time. He said to me that whatever I wanted to do, he would accept it. So, I called up my maid of honor and asked if she would come pick me up and I could stay at her house for the night. Adam and I kissed, and he told me he loved me, and I left. I haven't been back. From "Colleen's" house, I made a call the next morning to my office asking for a few more days off to go visit my family. So, right now, I am writing to you from my parents' house in Europe. I called Adam and told him my plans, and he asked me if I would let him drive me. I told him I was okay to go myself with Colleen, and I would email him when I got to my family home.

When I got settled at home, I emailed Adam, and I sent him the thread that I had made that Tuesday night (a large majority of you wanted him to read it). So... he has read all, ALL of your comments. He also read the part where I came to the conclusion on my own that I had to end things. We talked briefly over Skype, he told me he felt "raw" from the thread, but he was glad that I had gotten things out. He asked me if I was sure if I wanted to break things off or if I still needed time to think. I said I was pretty sure. He asked me for a probability (this is a joke in our relationship for dealing with decisions) and I said I was 90% sure that this was the end for us, and I was using my time away wisely to really consider everything. For some reason, his eyes brightened and he just told me that we could talk about it when I got back stateside. I wouldn't break up with him over Skype, and I think we have a lot of legalities to go through regarding the house and we have to collect any deposits that are available when we cancel the wedding things (because his mom didn't pay for any of the wedding SHE planned.)

Anyway, I have had a sit down with my father, he's been feeling better, which is a huge relief. He has offered me two thirds of the cost of the house. So I could either buy it from Adam and pay off most of the mortgage, or just walk away and buy myself something else. I didn't expect this, but he said it would give me options should I decide what he thinks I have decided. He says he just wants me to have freedom, and that he wouldn't want to see my heart and my bank account broken at the same time.

So.... that's that. Like I said, nothing really happened between Adam and I, I do have more power though, thanks to my parents, and I have been enjoying my time with my family. My mom and I have been shopping a lot, and my brother (my dad's doctor) and his family have been coming over for dinner quite a bit. My sister is expected to return from China tomorrow, and I am very excited to see her! I wish you all a happy holidays and a hopeful New Year. Hopefully, my next update will have a conclusion, one way or another.

tl;dr: Adam saw the original, nothing has happened as of yet, but my parents gave me money to get myself out of the housing situation if need be.

quote:

Hi! I first would like to apologize for how long this update took. I’ve been completely swamped at work, and things have been happening at home too. So let’s get into that.

I want to thank everyone again for their continued support and interest in my relationship issues. Sincerely, the advice and shared experiences has made everything a lot clearer. Also, Adam has been following along.

Firstly, I specifically want to thank everyone who defended and supported Adam. I don’t see him as a bad guy, and I really wouldn’t be vindictive. So, passive aggressive comments while leaving, or making rude comments to him, or anything really mean hearted, I couldn’t do to him. He has supported me emotionally through getting my MBA, he helped me study for my LSATs, he read over my essays to apply to Law Schools, he did mock interviews with me, he sat through boring orientations with me, he stayed up all night with me when I was sick with nerves before taking the Bar. He was my cheerleader when I ran my first triathlon, and he is my champion when I see a house centipede. He is my dream man. And I would never give up my relationship with him if I didn't feel like I was fighting a losing battle.

Now, are you guys in for a real shocker? Someone made a comment in the update that he would be outside my parent’s house if he really wanted it to work. He took your advice to heart, and he was outside with his bags and a rental on the evening of the 24th. I… uh… I was taken aback, and I blurted out “What the gently caress are you doing here?” He just laughed and said he wanted to talk about everything and it couldn’t wait until I got back. He’d been reading all the comments on the threads, and he felt like they were very eye opening. He browsed r/raisedbynarcissists and felt very moved by the similarity some of the posters have with their parents. He said that he spent the last few days thinking about what went down at the restaurant with his mother, and how the look in my eyes when I looked at him after I realized what had happened broke his heart. What I didn’t know was that he and his mother got into a row after I went to sit at the bar. Fighting about me, and how he doesn’t feel free, how his sister used to say she had the same problems but since she moved far away, it has died down a lot.

A lot of people asked me why I put up with this for so long. I tried to remember when this really started happening, when it stopped appearing like regular mother-in-law “don’t want to lose my son” comments and began to feel like isolation and vehemence. We used to have an okay relationship when we first met. Sometimes we’d go shopping together, and once we got our nails done. It was around when Adam and I purchased the house together, that’s when it really started to get bad. The windows incident was the first really big issue I remember. When she realized we were serious about each other.

So, back to when we were at my parents house. We had a serious heart to heart. I bared everything to him, and he did the same. So, there was no extreme confession of incest, or physical abuse. It was just that he thinks he was raised by a narcissist who saw her control of her son, he pride and joy, slipping away. We came to a decision. Here is what we decided on December 27th:

He went back to the US after New Year’s Day, a couple of days before me, and moved his stuff out of our place to a friend’s. He didn’t want me to have to be inconvenienced for changes he HAD to make. We have put our engagement on hold for the time being. He cancelled all the plans his mother made. He has been seeing a therapist since the middle of January pretty consistently, twice to three times a week. I’ve been to four sessions with him. His mother has not. We have sort of begun dating each other again. I have been talking to his sister, and the things their mother put her through, Adam is very lucky. Now, about his mother. He has decided to give her one last chance to go to therapy with him, and he has stated that if she does not, he will be going no contact with her. We have a lot to rebuild, but I know we can do it together.

tl;dr: Thank you everyone for the continued support/interest/advice. Got a complaint about my tl;dr, Adam and I were able to work out a plan for our relationship, put our engagement on hold, see a therapist, and set clear boundaries/no contact with his mother.

quote:

OOP: We've gone over that trip a lot in therapy. His therapist explained to me that it's akin to someone being stuck in an abusive relationship and always making excuses for the abuser so often that they believe their own rationalizations. He felt a lot of guilt for his father's death. Adam donated a kidney, and his father's body rejected the donation. He feels like it's his fault that his mother is alone, and I think she preyed on that a lot.

It probably should've been my moment of clarity, but it wasn't. We've recently decided together to put it in the past and move forward.

quote:

OOP: Ah... Well...

Right now, she is on a month long cruise, that's why he has to wait. However, Adam did ignore all of her calls while he was in Europe with me. When he got back, she did a lot of guilt tripping. "Oh, my poor heart, making me worry like that! Running off after her like some whimpering puppy!" Just stuff to unman him and make him feel like less than he is.

Then she tried to overdose on pain killers, she called the ambulance before she took any, and they got there before she even managed to get three pills down. Really great response time! So, they placed her on a 72 hour watch. Adam only sent flowers, he did not really want to see her. But she decided a cruise and a small vacation might be best for her, to get away.

quote:

It has been a long time! We're all a year older.

Adam and I will be composing this thread together... oh no! I gave away the ending. Yes, we are together, in fact... we're married.

Here goes, last time we left off, Adam was seeing a shrink (still is) to try to unwind some of the damage his mother did, we were living separately for the time being, Adam's mother tried to commit suicide, but no really, she called emergency services before she tried and didn't even have time to swallow more than 2 pills. It's so scary to think that within his mind there was such an abusive past when he has always had such a happy exterior. My husband (man that's fun to say!) was basically traumatized by his own mother his entire life. As was his sister, I had alluded before in one previous thread that Adam's sister had it a lot worse than Adam when they were younger, but when Adam's father died, his mom locked in on him.

So, Adam's dad died of kidney failure; however, Adam had donated one of his kidneys to try to save him. His father's body rejected the donation, and passed away about 11 years ago this coming April. His mother took it upon herself during his grieving process to manipulate him into believing he killed his own father and she was alone now because of him. That if he wanted to repair what he did to her, he'd treat her better. Every time he thought that he could get away and create his own life and feel free, she'd remind him. The windows, for example, I only heard the part where she blamed me... but I tried to think back to the conversation, and really try to hear what Adam had said, it's about 4 years ago now, but he was telling me at that moment that the reason her house was falling down was because she no longer had a man to take care of it... BECAUSE HE KILLED HIS DAD. He was trying to tell me, I just wasn't able to understand what it meant. Same with the vacation to Barcelona, she was doing it in front of me now.

When he was younger, a lot of these issues had been regarding academic success or athletic success, she didn't have any issue then with girlfriends or anything. She just viewed her children as extensions of herself. It was bad, it just wasn't this level of guilt inducing insanity.

Let's get back to the present day. Adam's psychologist had suggested Adam offer his mother a chance to come to therapy to work out issues. He wasn't able to propose this to her at the time because after her "suicide attempt" she whisked herself away on a cruise to get some much "needed" R&R, whatever. OH. MY. GOD. You'd think he was asking her to murder puppies with the way she went on. So, that's that. No contact. She has tried, but Adam has either ignored all phone calls with unknown numbers, we had our locks changed, and his work has strict instructions not to let her passed the doors. She moved to where Adam's sister lives in July, but I know that his sister (we are close) has been no contact with her since she met her husband. We wrote off the $25,000, we either get it back in probate court, in inheritance, or not at all. I'm not really choked up about it, not enough to do any extra work to get it back right now, especially since Adam is worried she'll use it as leverage to buy back in.

We ended up getting married in September, flew out to be with my parents this week to renew our vows in their house, and we're going to have our honeymoon in Fiji come January. My dad isn't doing so well, but he always seems to fluctuate like that. However, my brother isn't optimistic this time.

Anyway, we were wondering, since you have all been so supportive, if you would do us one small favor. Adam and I are going to have a "grieving" ceremony for his father, so he can process it correctly without manipulation. For any of you who have lost parents, what helped you get through it?

Thank you for everything, we wished we could have invited each and every one of you to our wedding, but... that would be creepy.

TL;DR Adam has gone no contact with his mother, we got married, going to Fiji for our honeymoon. Adam and I are going to re-grieve his father's death, any tips for how to get through grief of a passing parent would be much appreciated.

teen witch posted:

PhD student feeling embarrassed by non-academic spouse at social functions

Absurd Alhazred posted:

This reminds me of the joke "how can you tell someone went to Harvard? Wait two seconds and they'll tell you."

Soul Dentist posted:

That's nice for them and all but it just doesn't sound like 25k is a scary amount after reading about weeks in Barcelona and honeymoons in Fiji and Dad paying for the house. I've much less sympathy than I did at the beginning.

quote:

My wife's best friend "Vanessa" and her husband "James" were convicted of serious fraud a few days ago and will be sentenced in a couple of weeks.

It's possible that as part of their sentence, they'll have much of what they purchased using the illegal money taken away. This includes their cars and some pieces of art that they own.

Vanessa also has a lot of expensive clothes. She claims to have shopped "all over the world" and their house has whole rooms full of her shoes and dresses.

While they've both accepted that their previous lifestyle is over and that they're both facing a long time in prison, Vanessa doesn't want to let go of her wardrobe.

Because of my job (construction) I own a van. Vanessa asked my wife if they could borrow it. She wants to put her clothes in my van and for me to drive it somewhere far away and store it. They've figured that while the cars are traceable by the police so they can't keep those, Vanessa's clothes aren't traceable so they can get away with keeping those. She wants to keep them for when she gets out of prison.

I told my wife that I would not be taking part in something that could potentially get us both arrested. She responded that the clothes aren't being monitored and the risk of the police coming after us is tiny. She then said I was cruel for not wanting to help a woman who is looking at years in prison.

I don't think it's cruel at all. Even if it's a tiny risk, its still a risk. My wife and I have jobs and two children to provide for. Trouble with the police could ruin all of our lives.

AITA?

Mx. posted:

AITA for refusing to help my wife do something potentially illegal for her friend?

Mx. posted:

AITA for refusing to help my wife do something potentially illegal for her friend?

quote:

My child graduated from college last year and is working a temp job for about $20 an hour while she waits for her full-time job to start later this year, which pays almost 6 figures.

Her job is located near where she went to college but in a larger city where it costs a ton to live. She told me that she was scared of moving there and being independent and apparently told her stepmother this too.

She told me today that she was going to be moving with her stepmother to the city where her FT job is even though it hasn't even started and said that her stepmom signed a lease on an apartment even though her stepmom owns a house here and hasn't sold it. Her stepmom started out in a very lucrative career after she finished college, worked her way up, and is now extremely wealthy and successful career-wise and apparently can now afford high rent and a mortgage every month.

I saw the apartment that they're going to rent and it's like...very expensive per month. I asked my daughter who was going to pay for all this and she said that her stepmom and her worked out a plan where she'd pay for her own groceries and food and her own commute bills, half of the utilities and 5% rent until until her full-time job starts, and then it'll be anywhere from 15-20%.

I asked my child how she plans to afford 5% of the rent and groceries when she makes 20 an hour and when her stepmom signed a lease on a very nice and expensive apartment and told her that her stepmom was ripping her off.

I called her stepmom and her stepmom said that she could change the agreement so that she has no bills until her FT job starts.

I'm still annoyed and I told my child that she was wasting her money living with her stepmom when she can live with me for no bills each month indefinitely and my child said she didn't care.

She said that her stepmom had a lot of connections in that city because her stepmom started working there after college too and that her stepmom could show her around the city.

Honestly, I bet she just wants to live with her stepmom because her stepmom is more of a friend than parent to her and will probably let her do whatever she wants whereas I'm stricter.

BrigadierSensible posted:

Is it the same with the other big posh famous American Universities? Like Yale, or Stanford(?)? Also for UK people, is it the same for Oxford or Cambridge? I once knew a girl who was going to Uni at a University IN Oxford, that was not Oxford University. She was always quick to self depreciatingly point out that she wasn't going to THE Oxford Uni.

Mx. posted:

drat Hughlander, that was a fuckin trip




AITA for refusing to help my wife do something potentially illegal for her friend?

quote:

So our parents are friends and they introduced us last September because we have a lot of common interests. I'm an introvert and don't have a lot of friends but he seemed really nice if very quiet and we get along pretty well.

I'm awful at picking up on things in social situations (reading the room, facial expressions, between the lines, etc) so I thought we were great friends.

My mom just asked when we were "making things official" because she wanted to let everyone know we are dating and it caught me off guard. She explained that everyone (including him) thought we were dating and just hadn't made it official.

He's very sweet but my mental health is not in a good place and I feel no romantic connection to him whatsoever, but I'd still like to be friends.

I have a "date" with him later today and now I feel awful and I'm nervous where I wasn't before. How do I let him know I'm not interested and didn't mean to lead him on?

Tldr; Guy thinks we are dating, I had no idea and I'm not interested. How do I let him (gently) know I'm not interested?

UPDATE: We talked, I apologized for the miscommunication and he let me know that he wanted to be friends still and we are good. I might be asexual and autistic so I'm going to get tested for autism and talk to my therapist about the asexuality. Thank you all for your kind words and advice!

Evil Willow posted:

Me (F26) found out that a friend (M30) thinks that we've been dating for months and I've been oblivious, how do I tell him I'm not interested?

It always blows my mind that the updates are "so we communicated and worked things out!" I mean, why couldn't they do that before posting on Reddit??

mediaphage posted:

this is one time where i think it's fine, since i can imagine she was totally confused and perhaps a little frightened

Mx. posted:

AITA for refusing to help my wife do something potentially illegal for her friend?

Mx. posted:

drat Hughlander, that was a fuckin trip




AITA for refusing to help my wife do something potentially illegal for her friend?

quote:

We (Me 27, him 30) together for 3, married for 2 months.

So here's a thing, I used to use pads for my periods but recently was able to start using tampons (I have medical problems) in comparison, Tampons work 10x better for me, especially when I'm outside...say like at work or traveling. My husband Ryan hates them, he never truely gave a reason other than just say...he doesn't feel comfortable with me using *them. I didn't think it was a big deal at first since he hates a lot of stuff that I do but "puts up" with it anyway except for this. He asked that I go back to using pads but I made it clear since it's my body then I get to decide.

He threw away some tampons he had access to, and I was getting upset but*!!!!* to keep the peace, I just bought a box and hid it away from him. he somehow found it and threw it away. I didn't find that out til I had my period yesterday and realized I had no tampons to use. I was tired, and too stressed I just yelled at him after he admitted to throwing away the whole box. He argued that I already knew how he felt about this stuff and yet I decided to still keep it around. I lost it and told him he had no right to do this and told him to get over himself already. He stared at me almost about to tear up or something, then walked out.

He later went on about how we, as a couple should take each other's discomfert into consuderation and said he already tried to speak to me about those tampons yet I brushed him off and insulted him and verbally abused him. He also said that if I still insist on using them then I should do it while I'm outside the house but I said that it won't happen. I feel bad for how it played out but I was just at my wet's end and in so much pain I lashed out.

Did I go too far here? Does he have a valid point or not?

Cowslips Warren posted:

AITA for yelling at my husband and telling him to get over himself after he threw away my tampon box?

quote:

My husband (33M) and I (29F) have the same argument every time we clean the house and get ready for people to come over. He wants me to clean the half bath and the toilet that he specifically uses to go, you know. I NEVER use that bathroom because it’s gross.

I tell him that I’ll clean the bathroom but not his poop toilet because it makes me queasy and it’s literally disgusting.

For reference, we both do a fair share of house work and I’m a SAHM. This is like the only cleaning task we ever argue over.

Today was the worst the argument has been. Went went as far as yelling calling each other names.

Ugh. What a dumb disagreement. He knows I’ve posted this here and made sure that this post sounds unbiased. (But we all know that if he doesn’t even want to clean his own poop toilet then it must be way too gross. 😩)

Who is TA?

Mx. posted:

AITA for not cleaning the bathroom my husband poops in?

BrigadierSensible posted:

Whilst you are right that they do seem well enough off that $25,000 won't kill them.

I would argue dealing with an emotionally abusive mother who tells her son he killed his dad after the son willingly went through surgery in order to save him. A mother in law inserting herself in the worst possible ways into her sons life. A person who uses a fake suicide attempt to spite her daughter-in-law, and then runs away on a luxury cruise when caught out. I would argue that these are the bigger problems.

Evil Willow posted:

It always blows my mind that the updates are "so we communicated and worked things out!" I mean, why couldn't they do that before posting on Reddit??

quote:

My friend (18F) has decided to make me(19F) her godmother and babysitter for her baby once her baby is born. She also wanted me to organize her baby shower. Which i obviously said no for many reasons (thankfully she accepted no as an answer.) I have communicated with her that I don’t want to be a babysitter since I have been busy with school and work and don’t have much free time for myself. Friend has argued with me that she wants free time as well once she has the baby and I should babysit for her since I don’t have to permanently take care of a baby. I asked my friend, why have a baby if you aren’t prepared to take care of it? (the baby wasn’t an accident and she was trying for it) She was upset with my question and told me she didn’t have anyone else who supports her and her pregnancy. I told her I am not going to be responsible for her baby since I have my own life and my own problems to worry about. Friend told me how I am a horrible friend and if the roles were reverse she would be thrilled to babysit and I should understand friends help out other friends. Am I the rear end in a top hat for not being a good friend and taking care my friends baby?

edit: I spoke to a mutual friend of ours and was informed that she had considered occasionally babysitting until pregnant friend asked if she could watch the baby Friday and Saturday nights.

edit 2: the father is still in the picture, I am assuming she needs a baby sitter because she wants to go out with him. She cut her immediate family off once she turned 18, and has not spoken to them.

quote:

I know announcing pregnancy on social media is controversial, but I have a social media presence only to keep in contact with some people, so we decided to do it. My boyfriend and I are both blue collar workers thus we were boots to work. I knitted a pair of baby boots and we took a picture of him and I standing in our boots (just of our lower ankles) with the baby boots saying Baby (bf's last name), Apprenticeship starting August 2022. We thought it was cute as we both got to where we are through apprenticeships and I guess growing up is just the apprenticeship to life.

Now I'll be happy if my future child is blue collar, white collar, pink collar, I do not care at all what my child does so long as they aren't harming anyone. We posted it on our social media pages and I put my phone down as I figured it would be nothing crazy. Before long we have family and friends posting that it is disgusting that we are forcing our unborn child to live the 'back breaking' life we do. After a little bit I decided to take down the post and upload a picture of the ultrasound saying (last name) baby due August 2022, since it didn't seem worth the drama. But I am curious if it came off as assholeish and us wanting the child to be blue collar and not accepting anything else.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for telling a friend her baby is not my responsibility?

quote:

Yes, his parents are still in his life. I believe his mother talked her in to getting pregnant by telling her that birth control isn’t natural and she should trust god with her body or something along that line.

AreWeDrunkYet posted:

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for telling a friend her baby is not my responsibility?

MarcusSA posted:

They also catalog almost all of this poo poo before the trial so they absolutely know what’s there and what was bought with fraudulent funds.

quote:

I own sixteen acres of woodland behind my House it is very clearly my property as there are signs up stating it is private property. I'm generally good with people walking through it taking their dog a walk or hiking or even local kids playing there as it's a safe place and beautiful and so long as they don't cause any damage or mess with the trees I see no reason to get upset over this.

An issue came up however tonight when I was on a walk and I saw a fire through the trees I admit I panicked thinking a dog walker had been out and tossed a cigarette or some local teenagers were setting fires for fun. I rushed out to check on it and try to put out the fire and found one of my neighbours camping with their girlfriend and friends, it was a group of five people in their mid 20s and they had a roaring campfire going.

They got startled by me rushing up to them like that and asked me what the gently caress I was doing, I asked them the same question back and told them they couldn't camp here and they'd not asked permission to do so. This led to some laughter and protests that they were doing any harm and to "Lighten up" I told them to put the loving fire out and get off my land, I didn't want to risk a campfire there as it could easily get out of hand especially when the group manning it were more than a little drunk.

They ended up refusing stating they weren't going anywhere and were not doing anything wrong so I went home and called the police to get them off my property, they were made to leave and break up their camp.

Am I maybe the rear end in a top hat for this? they probably thought it was ok as i'm good with letting people use my land in general, I maybe could have handled it better but i'd gotten a fright seeing the fire and then how they responded....it just really got to me.

Mx. posted:

AITA for not letting my neighbours camp on my land?

pentyne posted:

There's a pretty big difference between "small chance of getting caught" and "not getting caught"

Wouldn't put it past a criminal fraudster to immediately drop a dime on her best friend hiding assets either if she got pressed hard by the forensic auditors and threatened with more jail time.

There's a real chance the feds/cops don't bother seizing clothes/shoes but given they've clearly busted these people so hard they're going to do serious time they are absolutely expecting closets full of clothes, shoes and jewelry so if they turn up and find 5 dresses in an empty closest they will immediately look at OP's wife as a suspect. I would at minimum assume anything insured on paper will be seized, and anything high price enough to that a layperson could go "holy poo poo that must be expensive".

limp_cheese posted:

I really don't understand why people do this. Its not like you can just pop the eye back in, you have to go to the bathroom and wash the eye/your hands for a not funny prank. I know they are trying to weird peoppe out but it seems like more trouble than its worth.

Captain Hygiene posted:

Another Coen Bros movie in the making