r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Dramatika: Aug 1, 2002; THE BANK IS OPEN

You know, the acid vats probably a little over crowded if you need to put half your family in there, maybe this calls for the wood chipper?

# ? Mar 11, 2022 18:42

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# ? May 31, 2024 00:27

Malcolm Excellent: May 20, 2007; Buglord

Real men die by getting squished in a hydraulic press

# ? Mar 11, 2022 18:44

teen witch: Oct 9, 2012

Malcolm Excellent posted:

Real men die by getting squished in a hydraulic press

[Ominous Finnish chattering in the distance]

# ? Mar 11, 2022 18:45

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Foo Diddley posted:

slashing someone's tires is a pretty funny prank

Real missed opportunity to go on a reverse tire slashing spree and see how happily all these big manly men go about fixing it

# ? Mar 11, 2022 18:47

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

Dramatika posted:

You know, the acid vats probably a little over crowded if you need to put half your family in there, maybe this calls for the wood chipper?

wood chipper first, then all the viscera/bone fragments can just be dumped right in the acid vat, those things usually have adjustable discharge spouts that you can aim

# ? Mar 11, 2022 18:48

CaptainViolence: Apr 19, 2006; I'M GONNA GET YOU DUCK

They open the doors into the venue, but the building was just a facade. They stand in an open field littered with cranes. Their gaze follows the cranes up into the sky where pianos and bank vaults are suspended dozens of feet in the air, as far as the eye can see. The last thing that goes through their mind is ACME 1 TON, printed on the side of a large trapezoidal weight

# ? Mar 11, 2022 18:49

Fork of Unknown Origins: Oct 21, 2005; Gotta Herd On?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Just send them an invite to the wrong venue, eight hours away. "It's just a prank!"

Send them to a (I�m making a tiny logical leap from the subjects they interrogated OP�s fianc�e about) gay wedding.

# ? Mar 11, 2022 18:51

Foo Diddley: Oct 29, 2011; cat

Captain Hygiene posted:

Real missed opportunity to go on a reverse tire slashing spree and see how happily all these big manly men go about fixing it

do it the day of the wedding, while they're all out at the false venue you sent them to. when they call a tow truck the guy shows up with an acid vat

# ? Mar 11, 2022 18:53

RenegadeStyle1: Jun 7, 2005; Baby Come Back

I'm not sure how a real man would fix slashed tires that doesn't involve help. You can't patch a slashed tired. What do you do, sew it back together?

# ? Mar 11, 2022 18:53

Neito: Feb 18, 2009; 😌Finally, an avatar the describes my love of tech❤️‍💻, my love of anime💖🎎, and why I'll never see a real girl 🙆‍♀️naked😭.

RenegadeStyle1 posted:

I'm not sure how a real man would fix slashed tires that doesn't involve help. You can't patch a slashed tired. What do you do, sew it back together?

My assumption is they only did one and were watching to make sure he jacked up the car and set a spare himself, rather than calling roadside assistance.

# ? Mar 11, 2022 18:55

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

Fork of Unknown Origins posted:

Send them to a (I�m making a tiny logical leap from the subjects they interrogated OP�s fianc�e about) gay wedding.

Why does a gay couple need to deal with these assholes on their special day?

# ? Mar 11, 2022 18:55

Fork of Unknown Origins: Oct 21, 2005; Gotta Herd On?

Absurd Alhazred posted:

Why does a gay couple need to deal with these assholes on their special day?

Fair point. Perhaps instead have an officiant there who believes they�re there for a large poly wedding to each other.

# ? Mar 11, 2022 18:57

B-Rock452: Jan 6, 2005

Fork of Unknown Origins posted:

Fair point. Perhaps instead have an officiant there who believes they�re there for a large poly wedding to each other.

I would gladly dive into an acid vat before attending a poly wedding.

# ? Mar 11, 2022 19:00

Hughlander: May 11, 2005

Foo Diddley posted:

slashing someone's tires is a pretty funny prank

I want to know more about this. If this had happened to me the first thing I'd do would be to announce while looking at who I thought it was that did it, that I'm calling the police. There's hundreds of dollars in damages and I'm going to need a police report for my insurance report. I'm sure my insurance company would need to investigate it to sue whoever did it to recover the money...

You have to put a stop to that poo poo, and hard.

# ? Mar 11, 2022 19:05

DemoneeHo: Nov 9, 2017; Come on hee-ho, just give us 300 more macca

I know people have suggested the acid vat or a hydraulic press for Tim's bullying in-laws. But how about a good ol' fashioned dip into a volcano? Surely that is man enough for them.

AITA for telling my boss that my coworkers were not following our companies� long standing tradition of fellowship/team-building while he was away on vacation?

quote:

I hope I can explain this clearly. I work for an amazing small engineering/contracting firm. It was founded by my current bosses dad who was pretty open about it being a Christian company. Since day one of the doors opening every day at 3:16 in the afternoon everyone who is in the office or out in the field together has to stop what they are doing and meet for a few minutes of group time telling each other what we are thankful for. It started off as a mandatory prayer session but my boss was sued in the 1990s so they changed it to fellowship and it is 100% not religious now. Now that zoom is a thing everyone has to get on their company phone and zoom into into the meeting it can take anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour depending on what people have to say. My boss says it�s our most important tradition and it�s why we are so successful as a company because these fellowship sessions reassure everyone that we are more of a family than a job.

My boss recently bought a second home in Aspen Colorado and decided that he wanted to spend this entire winter skiing. I�m the office manager and he left me in charge of day to day dealings in the office while his son is in charge of all operations. One thing I noticed that is that after about a week or so people started finding excuses to not attend the fellowship meetings even though they are mandatory. I sent out a company wide e-mail reminding everyone and no one responded so I started approaching people individually and all of them made the same excuse that 3:16 in the afternoon is not a good time and they have meetings with customers or suppliers. I reminded all of them that it�s never been an excuse in the past�they all sort of �yes, and� me which made me feel like crap.

I brought it up to the son and he said to just ignore it and we have to trust people to do the right thing with their job. To me this was wrong because it�s always been mandatory. I emailed my boss and he was furious so he sent out a company wide e-mail saying that anyone documented as missing the fellowship meetings will be written up with a warning then fired when it happens again.

I thought that would be the end of it up but people are assuming I�m the one that emailed him and have been so cruel to me. Most of it is things like not being asked if I want to be on the office lunch order but an older woman who was worked for the company for almost 40 years literally came up to my desk and called me a �tattle tale.�

To me I was just doing what my boss asked for something that is obviously very important to him and the way he runs his company. But since I want to get along at work, AITA?

# ? Mar 11, 2022 19:06

SyNack Sassimov: May 4, 2006; Can't post for 5 hours!

DemoneeHo posted:

AITA for telling my boss that my coworkers were not following our companies� long standing tradition of fellowship/team-building while he was away on vacation?

Boy things are always tough when you work in a Narchitecture firm.

# ? Mar 11, 2022 19:10

Batterypowered7: Aug 8, 2009; The mist that chills you keeps me warm.