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limp dick calvin
Sep 1, 2006

Strepitoso. Vedete? Una meraviglia.
I think he wanted to fire her for some reason and she stopped showing up and he called it a happy accident or something. would like to read that article again tho

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theflyingexecutive
Apr 22, 2007

Found it!

I had to address the problem of what to do about my current secretary, who, besides being incapable of doing the work, was an alcoholic. I had not told anyone else, but I knew that something had to change.
How do I handle this situation? The woman really needs help. My firing her might add one more disaster to her life. But I can’t have this kind of gross inefficiency, I thought. At the same time, I’m softhearted. I always feel sad when I have to do something unpleasant even if necessary, and it is especially hard for me to fire somebody. I was beside myself, not knowing what to do.
I walked back into my office, shut the door, and prayed quietly, Lord, how am I going to resolve this dilemma without having to hurt anyone? I want to be kind to her, but I can’t let this go on.
I did not get an instant answer, but I felt better.
Two weeks later, my then-secretary did not show up on a Monday morning. We called her apartment and got no response then or later. For days we kept trying to locate her, including checking with all the local hospitals. We never did find out what happened to her. She simply disappeared. I regret that the depth of this woman’s problems leading to her dismal situation was not more apparent to me and that I did not have more time to try to help her resolve her problems.
I am thankful that this problem was resolved without any unpleasantness on my part.
–Ben Carson, “Think Big”

from here

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse
Slippery Tilde
whe ben carson's brain goes completely loose he's gonna be one of those "i'm jesus" crazy guys isn't he

Animal Friend
Sep 7, 2011

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

whe ben carson's brain goes completely loose he's gonna be one of those "i'm jesus" crazy guys isn't he

Animal Friend
Sep 7, 2011

Laterite
Mar 14, 2007

It's Gutfest '89
Grimey Drawer

H.P. Hovercraft posted:

whe ben carson's brain goes completely loose he's gonna be one of those "i'm jesus" crazy guys isn't he

he's a neurosurgeon, that's like 99.9% of the way there already

Tesseraction
Apr 5, 2009


It's been nearly 7 years and I can't get over "poverbs"

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Of all the "Poverbs" to choose. Here's the full verse without the second sentence removed:

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK
Jan 26, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Tesseraction posted:

It's been nearly 7 years and I can't get over "poverbs"

Haha no way that’sa photo shop right ????

Zerg Mans
Oct 19, 2006

once again back in my head:

The 9/11 mosque body part map

MikeCrotch
Nov 5, 2011

I AM UNJUSTIFIABLY PROUD OF MY SPAGHETTI BOLOGNESE RECIPE

YES, IT IS AN INCREDIBLY SIMPLE DISH

NO, IT IS NOT NORMAL TO USE A PEPPERAMI INSTEAD OF MINCED MEAT

YES, THERE IS TOO MUCH SALT IN MY RECIPE

NO, I WON'T STOP SHARING IT

more like BOLLOCKnese

DACK FAYDEN posted:

remembering when "Assad Must Go" was like, a one-picture meme at most, and not like thirty

are we sure he hasn't weaponized actual curse magic

The fact that Assad just wanted to be an optician but got thrust into the job as a bloodthirsty dictator because his older brother who was groomed for it got killed in a car crash

Zvahl
Oct 14, 2005

научный кот
if you owned a curse like that you'd feel obliged to use it too

Private Cumshoe
Feb 15, 2019

AAAAAAAGAGHAAHGGAH
Jussie Smollet wasted Chicago police resources and got five months instead of a Nobel Peace Prize

Bust Rodd
Oct 21, 2008

by VideoGames
Trump made Sean Spicer, the only practicing Catholic in his entire administration, wait in the car outside while the Pope was visiting

lol

frankenfreak
Feb 16, 2007

I SCORED 85% ON A QUIZ ABOUT MONDAY NIGHT RAW AND ALL I GOT WAS THIS LOUSY TEXT

#bastionboogerbrigade

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Of all the "Poverbs" to choose. Here's the full verse without the second sentence removed:


As funny as "poverbs" is in and of itself, that in juxtaposition with a massive portrait of himself above is really :kiss:

ben shapino
Nov 22, 2020

theflyingexecutive posted:

Found it!

I had to address the problem of what to do about my current secretary, who, besides being incapable of doing the work, was an alcoholic. I had not told anyone else, but I knew that something had to change.
How do I handle this situation? The woman really needs help. My firing her might add one more disaster to her life. But I can’t have this kind of gross inefficiency, I thought. At the same time, I’m softhearted. I always feel sad when I have to do something unpleasant even if necessary, and it is especially hard for me to fire somebody. I was beside myself, not knowing what to do.
I walked back into my office, shut the door, and prayed quietly, Lord, how am I going to resolve this dilemma without having to hurt anyone? I want to be kind to her, but I can’t let this go on.
I did not get an instant answer, but I felt better.
Two weeks later, my then-secretary did not show up on a Monday morning. We called her apartment and got no response then or later. For days we kept trying to locate her, including checking with all the local hospitals. We never did find out what happened to her. She simply disappeared. I regret that the depth of this woman’s problems leading to her dismal situation was not more apparent to me and that I did not have more time to try to help her resolve her problems.
I am thankful that this problem was resolved without any unpleasantness on my part.
–Ben Carson, “Think Big”

from here

she died lol

Lib and let die
Aug 26, 2004

Megillah Gorilla posted:

Of all the "Poverbs" to choose. Here's the full verse without the second sentence removed:



Chaser:

the sex ghost
Sep 6, 2009

Bust Rodd posted:

Trump made Sean Spicer, the only practicing Catholic in his entire administration, wait in the car outside while the Pope was visiting

lol

I remember this regularly and lol every time

Zerg Mans
Oct 19, 2006

the only person who ever went to jail for any of the Bundy stunts was the FBI agent who lied about when he first shot at tarpguy's car

Animal-Mother
Feb 14, 2012

RABBIT RABBIT
RABBIT RABBIT

You have not experienced the gospel until you've read it in the original Klingon.

Uncle Wemus
Mar 4, 2004

Randomly remembered how after Obama was elected the first time Michelle malkin and other chud pundits earnestly went on fox News and said business owners were "going galt" and withdrawing from society to punish people lmao

WHY BONER NOW
Mar 6, 2016

Pillbug
Remember when trump was asked his favorite Bible passage and he wouldn't answer because it was too personal

Excelzior
Jun 24, 2013

WHY BONER NOW posted:

Remember when trump was asked his favorite Bible passage and he wouldn't answer because it was too personal

two Corinthians

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK
Jan 26, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

WHY BONER NOW posted:

Remember when trump was asked his favorite Bible passage and he wouldn't answer because it was too personal

its a top Trump moment for sure

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERUngQUCsyE

H.P. Hovercraft
Jan 12, 2004

one thing a computer can do that most humans can't is be sealed up in a cardboard box and sit in a warehouse
Slippery Tilde
he had to ask if presbyterians were christian before a meeting with them

trump claims to be a presbyterian

StashAugustine
Mar 24, 2013

Do not trust in hope- it will betray you! Only faith and hatred sustain.

It's a Bible

Lord of Pie
Mar 2, 2007


BIG-DICK-BUTT-gently caress posted:

Haha no way that’sa photo shop right ????

nope

Clowner
Dec 13, 2006

Further in

To this day I'm not convinced Ben Carson is real

Wraith of J.O.I.
Jan 25, 2012


going through some old photos

Kitfox88
Aug 21, 2007

Anybody lose their glasses?
taintrunner being the primordial berniebro

UwUnabomber
Sep 9, 2012

Pubes dreaded out so hoes call me Chris Barnes. I don't wear a condom at the pig farm.

Kitfox88 posted:

taintrunner being the primordial berniebro

Just amazing.

Laterite
Mar 14, 2007

It's Gutfest '89
Grimey Drawer

erosion
Dec 21, 2002

It's true and I'm tired of pretending it isn't

Milo and POTUS
Sep 3, 2017

I will not shut up about the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. I talk about them all the time and work them into every conversation I have. I built a shrine in my room for the yellow one who died because sadly no one noticed because she died around 9/11. Wanna see it?
Everything about Ben is hilarious

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK
Jan 26, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

Incredible. In a work of fiction it would be panned for being unrealistic and too "on the nose"

BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK
Jan 26, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

I don't see the big deal, he looks kinda cool I guess. Maybe the helmet is a lil dorky. Was it bc HW Bush was a decorated war veteran and Dukakis was a dorky radio operator? Why did that land so well and doom his campaign

big dong wanter
Jan 28, 2010

The future for this country is roads, freeways and highways

To the dangerzone
Can someone please inform me about the taintrunner Bernard brother thing to me? I've seen it mentioned but my brain is so smooth scientist's keep trying to steal it for calibrating things

Analytic Engine
May 18, 2009

not the analytical engine

Fortaleza posted:

In the early 2000's billy joel just kept running his car into things including and old lady's living room and later blamed it on 9/11

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9U8tgiD9u0

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BIG-DICK-BUTT-FUCK
Jan 26, 2016

by Fluffdaddy

big dong wanter posted:

Can someone please inform me about the taintrunner Bernard brother thing to me? I've seen it mentioned but my brain is so smooth scientist's keep trying to steal it for calibrating things

Taintrunner crashed on Jude Doyles couch for a bit and was such an obnoxious leftist talking about landlords & Bernie that this became the archetype for all Bernie supporters, aka "Bernie Bro" (pejorative)

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