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shadow puppet of a posted:*Posts on a a forum riddled with 9/11 gags and gifs where on the very next subforum down they post photos of chopped up drug dealers piled up neatly for laughs* 2004 called, they want their gimmick back.
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Mar 14, 2022 01:36
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i do not find the sad story of scott hall to be all that funny
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Mar 14, 2022 01:37
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shadow puppet of a posted:*Posts on a a forum riddled with 9/11 gags and gifs where on the very next subforum down they post photos of chopped up drug dealers piled up neatly for laughs* Boooooo. Boooooo! (drat, this guy's a great heel! I love to hate him. Can't wait to see someone hit him with a chair.)
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Mar 14, 2022 01:38
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He's the forums equivalent of the guy who buys a front row ticket just to hold up a poorly written sign that makes a Cornette podcast reference and doesn't actually watch the show but instead stares at the tv monitor waiting to hold his sign up every time he's on tv to try to get himself over
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Mar 14, 2022 01:47
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Elephant Ambush posted:He's the forums equivalent of the guy who buys a front row ticket just to hold up a poorly written sign that makes a Cornette podcast reference and doesn't actually watch the show but instead stares at the tv monitor waiting to hold his sign up every time he's on tv to try to get himself over the green lantern shirt guy posts on this forum? sick... 16-bit Butt-Head fucked around with this message at 01:53 on Mar 14, 2022 |
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Mar 14, 2022 01:51
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Sorry guys my cat who is also named Scott Hall died last week of a bladder infection and it really upsets me to see nobody mourned my Scott Hall last week but these week its all Scott Hall Wall to Wall concern this grief that and please show some decorum in this trying time of Scott Hall's near passing from his many ailments and I'm just like SCOTT HALL DIED LAST WEEK IN MY ARMS you POS, but nobody wants to listen they just want to pre-lament the passing of non-cat Scott Hall. You can imagine how that would get to me. So please, starting 51 weeks from now PLEASE do not mention Sc*tt H*ll either the cat or the non-cat incarnation for a solid fortnight so we can protect each others cherished connection to Scotts alike on the anniversary of his likely passing.
shadow puppet of a fucked around with this message at 01:59 on Mar 14, 2022 |
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Mar 14, 2022 01:56
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Elephant Ambush posted:He's the forums equivalent of the guy who buys a front row ticket just to hold up a poorly written sign that makes a Cornette podcast reference and doesn't actually watch the show but instead stares at the tv monitor waiting to hold his sign up every time he's on tv to try to get himself over I'm thinking more the guy who jumped the rail at that one AEW show and tried to attack Kenny Omega, then tweeted about it hoping that Cornette would be impressed and become his buddy, only to get roasted and blocked by Cornette because not even Cornette's willing to risk a lawsuit for encouraging people to attack wrestlers for real
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Mar 14, 2022 02:00
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FilthyImp posted:He threw a blood clot following surgery and was wracked with 3 heart attacks before being put on life support.
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Mar 14, 2022 02:13
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Lemme try to cleanse this with an effortpost I promised a week ago. Back in 2008, WWE hired a man who sounded like a perfect get on paper. On the surface, he was an awesome addition to the announcing team. He was an accomplished football player. He spent years as a football announcer, not only covering the NFL, but even the XFL! He was a journalist for ESPN. More importantly, he was the co-host of American Gladiators, the kind of “sports entertainment” experience that Vince McMahon would be excited about instead of burying you for having.  His name was Mike Adamle and he was hosed from the get-go. Adamle made his first WWE appearance as a correspondent at the Royal Rumble. In his first segment, he referred to Randy Orton’s opponent as “Jeff Harvey.” It became quickly apparent that although he seemed like a bargain, he had the big flaw of not knowing anything about the product. Wrestling fans have had experience with commentators who know nothing about wrestling. We had Susan St. James at WrestleMania 2. Art Donovan at King of the Ring 1994 lives in infamy. Already, Mike Adamle had blood in the water. It had already been about two years since the WWE ECW resurgence had started and while Paul Heyman and countless other old school ECW names were long gone, WWE had just gotten rid of ECW’s mainstay commentator Joey Styles. A massive blow for fans. So who was replacing Joey? Well, none other than Mike Adamle, as being a backstage correspondent on Raw wasn’t working out for him. Adamle had enthusiasm, but for some, that might have worked against him. Dude loved his catchphrases, like ending a match with, “Uno, dos, adios!” Most memorably, back when Kofi Kingston was in ECW and pretending to be Jamaican, Adamle would usually yell out, “JAMAICAN ME CRAZY!” once a match. Otherwise, the guy still didn’t know his stuff and for some reason referred to his broadcast partner as “The Tazz.” On one episode of ECW, during the main event, Adamle got up and walked off. Tazz removed his headset and followed him. While the fans in attendance didn’t seem to notice it too much, fans at home were confused. Some stories say that Adamle was having some kind of mental medical emergency. Other stories say that Vince told the commentators to get up and leave as part of a storyline that was immediately dropped. Either way, Adamle appeared in the ring the next week to apologize to everyone and give a heartfelt speech that he was trying his best. Truth be told, Adamle at least had a sense of humor about who he was. Miz and John Morrison had a weekly web series called the Dirt Sheet and Adamle made a guest appearance as part of a séance for Paul Bearer (this was in-between Bearer being storyline dead and real dead). Adamle played up being a tryhard douche who would try to impress his coworkers by having “Funk Soul Brother” as his ringtone. When Miz and Morrison insulted him, he happily remarked that it was the nicest thing anyone’s had to say about him in months. WWE realized that they were paying this guy way too much money to just be a commentator on the C-show. So they did the logical thing by... making him Raw GM out of nowhere? Sure, okay. I mean, the guy before him was Jonathan Coachman, so might as well try something new. Adamle spent months running the show, screwing up his lines (he would normally carry his script in hand) and being a lovable doofus. I mainly remember three things from Adamle’s time as Raw GM. First was the time John Cena and Mickie James were flirting in Adamle’s locker room, only for Adamle to walk out of the nearby bathroom and the other two reacting like he took the smelliest poo poo ever. Then there’s this bizarre storyline where Kane started screaming, “IS HE ALIVE OR DEAD?!” and took to carrying a burlap bag with something in it. Adamle finally confronted Kane about this and figured he was talking about Paul Bearer and the bag had Kane’s old mask in it. Instead, Kane revealed that he had Rey Mysterio’s mask in there as he had kidnapped him and spent several weeks torturing him half to death. Simple mistake. Finally, Adamle would bring up his “Adamle originals” ideas. The only one that comes to mind is the WWE Scramble, a rather unique match that was used three times in one PPV and then just forgotten about. The idea is that five wrestlers take part in a match with a time limit. Whoever pulls off a pin becomes interim champion until the next person gets pinned. Once the time limit is over, the reigning interim champion wins. This gave us the screenshot of forgettable midcarder The Brian Kendrick being labeled as the current WWE Champion. Near the end of the year, Adamle got in a confrontation with Randy Orton. Orton yelled that unless Adamle was fired, he would leave the company. Then he ran down Adamle for being such a failure, pushing Adamle into smacking Orton. The following week, Adamle apologized for his actions and told Shane McMahon that he was going to resign from his position. It got a huge ovation. But man, was that ever a fortunate decision. Adamle, as it turns out, is riddled with concussions from his years as a football player and he’s been showing increasing signs of dementia. Word is that at one point he was training to do a match or two, presumably against Orton. Since Orton was right about to do his run as a head-punting psychopath who genuinely delivered a concussion to Vince, Adamle was saved from even more brain trauma. Mike Adamle was never on WWE TV ever again. He won Wrestlecrap’s 2008 Gooker Award for worst thing in wrestling, but even the writer of that site admitted that in the grand scheme of things, he’s probably the least offensive thing to ever get that award. Besides, considering the company was only months away from the horrible stretch of Michael Cole as a heel commentator, Adamle was a breath of fresh air in retrospect.
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Mar 14, 2022 02:23
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shadow puppet of a posted:Sorry guys my cat who is also named Scott Hall died last week of a bladder infection and it really upsets me to see nobody mourned my Scott Hall last week but these week its all Scott Hall Wall to Wall concern this grief that and please show some decorum in this trying time of Scott Hall's near passing from his many ailments and I'm just like SCOTT HALL DIED LAST WEEK IN MY ARMS you POS, but nobody wants to listen they just want to pre-lament the passing of non-cat Scott Hall. You can imagine how that would get to me. So please, starting 51 weeks from now PLEASE do not mention Sc*tt H*ll either the cat or the non-cat incarnation for a solid fortnight so we can protect each others cherished connection to Scotts alike on the anniversary of his likely passing. Is Rick Bognar okay?
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Mar 14, 2022 03:37
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FilthyImp posted:Aww gently caress I'm too much of a nerd because my first thought is 'Henchman 1 survived?'
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Mar 14, 2022 04:58
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what
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Mar 14, 2022 09:38
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ive been watching dark side of the ring and the section of the new jack episode about the gypsy joe fight is comedy gold. it just cutting from jim cornette saying 'new jack just said "gently caress this old man"' to new jack saying 'so anyway i ended up beating the gently caress out of a hundred year old man' that guy was a huge piece of poo poo but hilarious
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Mar 14, 2022 10:23
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The best coda to Mike Adamle was unsurprisingly written by WrestlecrapRD Reynolds posted:
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Mar 14, 2022 11:50
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It's what happens when a wrestler or poster forgets that they're just playing a character and starts actually living their gimmick, you hate to see it
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Mar 14, 2022 15:17
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Sydney Bottocks posted:It's what happens when a wrestler or poster forgets that they're just playing a character and starts actually living their gimmick, you hate to see it I prefer Warrior to whatever the gently caress this is
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Mar 14, 2022 15:18
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Actually Venture Bros and its portrayal of supervillain showdowns being a mix of hobby for rich perverts and way to get your body mutilated and destroyed for a chance at fame feels like it could have a lot of good analogues.
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Mar 14, 2022 15:26
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"Gooker Award" is loving great
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Mar 14, 2022 15:29
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This news about Scott Hall is such a bummer 
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Mar 14, 2022 16:06
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BiggerBoat posted:"Gooker Award" is loving great Here's a list of all the Gooker Award winners from the beginning of Wrestlecrap's existence. Most of them have been covered in this thread. 2000: David Arquette wins the WCW Championship. 2001: WWF vs. WCW/ECW 2002: Katie Vick, a Triple H vs. Kane feud that involved Triple H wearing a Kane mask and humping a blow-up doll dressed as a cheerleader. 2003: Al Wilson's wedding, a storyline where Dawn Marie married Torrie Wilson's father and banged him so much on their honeymoon that he died. 2004: The 2004 Raw Diva Search, which was raunchy and out of control. 2005: Jim Ross being fired, which was part of a storyline that involved a skit of Vince as Dr. Hiney performing a colonoscopy on "Jim Ross." 2006: WWE doing storylines about Eddie Guerrero after his death. 2007: The mystery of Vince McMahon's secret son. 2008: Mike Adamle in WWE. 2009: The never-ending and one-sided Hornswoggle vs. Chavo Guerrero feud. 2010: TNA starts the second Monday Night War. 2011: Heel Michael Cole. 2012: Claire Lynch, AJ Style's self-proclaimed baby's mama. 2013: Dixie Carter as a heel authority figure in TNA. 2014 (co-winner): Vince McMahon claiming Cesaro doesn't deserve a push because he hasn't "grabbed the brass ring." 2014 (co-winner): The Brie Bella vs. Nikki Bella feud. 2015: The Rusev and Summer Rae vs. Dolph Ziggler and Lana feud, a storyline based on Vince's genuine disgust that Rusev has a hot wife. 2016: WrestleMania 32, the bonkers and never-ending PPV. 2017: Jinder Mahal as WWE Champion. 2018: Crown Jewel, the PPV in Saudi Arabia filled with godawful matches, including Shawn Michaels coming out of retirement. 2019: Seth Rollins vs. The Fiend at Hell in a Cell, featuring blinding red lights and a DQ due to weapon usage. 2020: Retribution, WWE's laughable answer to Antifa. 2021: NXT 2.0, or NXT in a post-Triple H world.
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Mar 14, 2022 18:13
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Wrestlecrap's greatest contribution to the world is making sure we never forget Man Mountain Rock.
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Mar 14, 2022 18:32
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imagine how bad that list would be if WWE did intergender
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Mar 14, 2022 18:32
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Y'all have mostly been stellar but I'll keep an eye on this thread, since SOMEONE's been making GBS threads it up shadow puppet: shut up or contribute something of worth. Those are your only two options.
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Mar 14, 2022 18:33
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MrQwerty posted:imagine how bad that list would be if WWE did intergender This bridge needs to be crossed at some point. But God you have to be careful to not just make it look like domestic abuse. And the loving egos that are going to be savaged when you tell workers "hey, you gotta put over lady hotbody, and make her look strong. Sell her moves" I think this happens in Lucha more than the WWE, but still. I'd pay to see an intergender promotion that didn't care about "man strong"
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Mar 14, 2022 19:00
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Trollologist posted:This bridge needs to be crossed at some point. But God you have to be careful to not just make it look like domestic abuse. This is just begging for a recap of Jeff Jarrett's exit from WWF.
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Mar 14, 2022 19:53
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YeahTubaMike posted:This news about Scott Hall is such a bummer I do not want to say goodbye to the bad guy They're taking him off life support today, if they haven't already
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Mar 14, 2022 20:14
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Bad times don't last, but bad guys do. Godspeed you bastard, and be the greatest heel in God's own wrestling company.
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Mar 14, 2022 21:41
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MrQwerty posted:imagine how bad that list would be if WWE did intergender Or was it always the kind of "match" where she jumped in and hit someone in the balls so that Hunter could pin them? titties posted:They're taking him off life support today, if they haven't already I have like zero cultural cachet with Hall/Razor Ramon. His stint in WWE was after I had tuned out of 80s Wrasslin and I didn't have cable so the WCW NWO/Outsiders stuff was only in my orbit thanks to general pop-culture osmosis. Still, he had a talent for being a heel and his physique was drat impressive in a time when Vince was stuffing people full of everything he could. Really, though, it was the vulnerability he showed in the mini-doc someone posted up-thread that caught my attention. He didn't atone for his excess or womanizing, and I don't know what other skeletons will come tumbling out, but watching a man acknowledge that his whole family's had trouble with addiction and that he likely will never overcome it himself was heavy. Kinda wish he had made it.
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Mar 14, 2022 22:12
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he's been off life support for hours and is still kickin' y'all
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Mar 14, 2022 22:17
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IIRC Chyna's last match was against Jeff Jarrett for the IC title. I could be wrong. Maybe it was Jarrett's last match? Maybe it was the Hardcore title or it was a no DQ match or something because I remember weapons being involved.
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Mar 14, 2022 22:20
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I actually just wikipediad Chyna and didn't realize she died. That's depressing.
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Mar 14, 2022 22:25
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Elephant Ambush posted:IIRC Chyna's last match was against Jeff Jarrett for the IC title. I could be wrong. Maybe it was Jarrett's last match? It was JJ's last.match, they continued to do her dirty for a while longer. Chyna got treated like absolute poo poo for so long and it's really something I only truly grasped later as I grew up. It's really loving disgusting, even in a carny rear end business.
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Mar 14, 2022 22:26
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Elephant Ambush posted:IIRC Chyna's last match was against Jeff Jarrett for the IC title. I could be wrong. Maybe it was Jarrett's last match? It was Jarrett's last WWE match, until a couple years ago when he had a couple throwaways as a returning old guy legend The match was a "good housekeeping" match, which meant the weapons were ironing boards and kitchen utensils (because Chyna is a woman, you see)
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Mar 14, 2022 22:28
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Hollismason posted:I actually just wikipediad Chyna and didn't realize she died. That's depressing. Yeah  It was a sad ending for her. I loved watching her in the ring.
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Mar 14, 2022 22:28
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It was Jarret's last WWE match, at the time. He did a Royal Rumble in 2019. It was a Good Housekeeping Match if I recall correctly, in No Mercy of 99. It was basically a hardcore match, but vacuums, a kitchen sink, and other "women's" work sorts of things around the ring. That was their whole build to the match is that Chyna wasn't good enough because she was a woman, ect. ect. Afterwards, Jeff supposedly shook Vince down for money owed after dropping the title, and was soon on his way to WCW.
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Mar 14, 2022 22:29
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warrior dying a day after his return was pretty funny
16-bit Butt-Head fucked around with this message at 22:32 on Mar 14, 2022 |
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Mar 14, 2022 22:29
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I didn't know that the Ultimate Warrior was dead either.
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Mar 14, 2022 22:32
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Hollismason posted:I didn't know that the Ultimate Warrior was dead either. The Ultimate Warrior will never truly die as long as all the wrestling fans out there continue to Never Give Up and to cherish his Warrior values such as... *checks Wikipedia* ...oh dear.
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Mar 14, 2022 22:35
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FilthyImp posted:They really didn't do Champ runs but didn't Chyna face off against some dudes here and there? Chyna was Intercontinental Champion for a while, and I'm sure she wrestled for the world title on a Smackdown once or whatever. I won't lie, I don't think she was ever a brilliant wrestler and so she probably wouldn't land that well with a modern audience that wants high-paced and technical women's matches, but she worked as a novelty (presumably after someone binge-watched Xena: Warrior Princess in 1999). I remember her working with Jericho a lot, and I think some of the heat between Triple H and Jericho was in part around the fact that Jericho is very good, but also supposedly one of those wrestlers that isn't exactly gentle in the ring (not in a reckless way, but the whole strong-style thing of knowing how to hit people hard safely), and I'm not sure Triple H appreciated his girlfriend eating a few kicks from him. There was a whole bunch of intergender stuff in the late 90s and early 2000s, including a storyline (played for laughs) where Bubba Ray Dudley could essentially only achieve sexual release by putting women through tables. But man-on-woman violence was something that changing tastes and the move to a PG focus meant that the networks just absolutely clamped down on and they would probably blackout the feed from their end now if the Dudleys showed up one week to chase Carmella around the ring while JR yells, "GET THAT SLUT". They'll still do it once in a blue moon on pay-per-view where one of the women's wrestlers will take an RKO or something, but that's pretty much it for the foreseeable future. This actually caused its own issue, since Stephanie tried very hard to reprise the role of Vince McMahon, without somehow realising that the point of everything involving Vince McMahon was building to a payoff where he'd get kicked in the nuts and eat a stunner. You know, rather than every babyface on the show being belittled and emasculated by an obnoxious middle-manager who never gets their comeuppance.
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Mar 14, 2022 22:42
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Prof. Crocodile posted:The Ultimate Warrior will never truly die as long as all the wrestling fans out there continue to Never Give Up and to cherish his Warrior values such as... Is it time for a Warrior Comics effort post? fake edit: or you can just watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9FMxD3CUV4Q actual edit: dude couldn't even apologize to a kid, lol
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Mar 14, 2022 22:43
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