PYF Horrible Food: your favorite procedurally generated menu items

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Sekhmnet: Jan 22, 2019

CaptainSarcastic posted:

I like the rehydrated minced onions and they were part of the reason I used to intentionally get McDonald's hamburgers. Specifically the hamburgers, not the cheeseburgers. Also the hamburgers were like 59 cents or something.

Yeah its part of the established flavor profile people expect from a mcdonalds hamburger. If you want real onion you have to shell out for a quarter pounder or specifically ask for fresh onion when you order.

In high school(mid 90s) they'd have 25/35 cent hamburger/cheeseburger days and we'd get enough to eat and also to throw at people in the hallways back at school.

# ? Mar 13, 2022 22:22

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# ? Jun 12, 2024 12:10

Antigravitas: Dec 8, 2019; Die Rettung fuer die Landwirte:

Clyde Radcliffe posted:

canned croissants

Excusez-moi?

# ? Mar 13, 2022 22:25

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Desert Bus posted:

What is up with McDonald's weird re-hydrated minced onions anyway? They clearly have good onions they could use but for some reason only put them on the Quarter Pounder. I'm sure it's a cost thing but it's annoying and they're kind of gross.

CaptainSarcastic posted:

I like the rehydrated minced onions and they were part of the reason I used to intentionally get McDonald's hamburgers. Specifically the hamburgers, not the cheeseburgers. Also the hamburgers were like 59 cents or something.

I actually like them too, but only on the cheaper non-fancy burgers. It's something I feel is 100% related to wanting a specific garbage comfort food experience, not that they're really "good" in terms of objective quality.

# ? Mar 13, 2022 22:27

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

I may be remembering wrong but I seem to remember my friends who worked there in high school saying that the onions and buns constantly got moldy. they switched to the dehydrated onions to fix that problem ~~and they use science bread nonfood now for the buns dihydrogen monoxide big pharma vaccines kill~~

# ? Mar 13, 2022 22:32

CaptainSarcastic: Jul 6, 2013

Captain Hygiene posted:

I actually like them too, but only on the cheaper non-fancy burgers. It's something I feel is 100% related to wanting a specific garbage comfort food experience, not that they're really "good" in terms of objective quality.

Yeah, there was definitely some of that going on there. I still have fond memories of a lot of public school cafeteria food for the same reason.

# ? Mar 13, 2022 22:37

Desert Bus: May 9, 2004; Take 1 tablet by mouth daily.

The re-hydrated onions definitely don't work on the Bacon Egg and Cheese Bagel as well as the slivered onions. I don't really eat any McDonald's aside from that and the Quarter Pounder with Cheese (which I ask for extra onions on), so i'm probably just not used to the flavor profile with them like I am the slivered.

# ? Mar 13, 2022 22:47

Clyde Radcliffe: Oct 19, 2014

Antigravitas posted:

Excusez-moi?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zr50Pa3GEM

# ? Mar 13, 2022 22:53

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

Those lovely standard minced onions from McDonald's are the reason I used to think I hated onions lmao

That said, ordering a cheeseburger without onion was a handy way to get a freshly-made one.

# ? Mar 13, 2022 22:57

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

FFT posted:

That said, ordering a cheeseburger without onion was a handy way to get a freshly~~made~~ spit in one.

# ? Mar 13, 2022 23:03

Grand Fromage: Jan 30, 2006; L-l-look at you bar-bartender, a-a pa-pathetic creature of meat and bone, un-underestimating my l-l-liver's ability to metab-meTABolize t-toxins. How can you p-poison a perfect, immortal alcohOLIC?

SlothfulCobra posted:

Today I learned about something that is apparently real popular in Korea.

https://twitter.com/nowthisnews/status/998628993912918017

I don't doubt whether it works, but American Cheese already has a negative reputation, and then cheese + water is such a weird idea, and all these pictures of ramen just with a weird square on top don't look right.

For once the internet tells the truth, this is indeed popular. The "American cheese" in Korea is worse than Kraft though, it's entirely flavorless. It is generally what any Korean thing means when it says cheese though.

# ? Mar 13, 2022 23:05

VictualSquid: Feb 29, 2012; Gently enveloping the target with indiscriminate love.

Yeah, sometime ago I heard about Koreans enjoying putting cheese into their chilli based soups and such and wanted to try it.
I ended up really enjoying using intense goat cheeses like shredded peccorino in some of those dishes.
Then I found out what cheeses the Koreans actually use.

# ? Mar 13, 2022 23:10

stringless: Dec 28, 2005; keyboard ⌨️ cowboy

LifeSunDeath posted:

Compared to the alternative of those lovely onions? Eh, fair trade.

# ? Mar 13, 2022 23:11

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

FFT posted:

Compared to the alternative of those lovely onions? Eh, fair trade.

McOysers

# ? Mar 13, 2022 23:27

Dareon: Apr 6, 2009; by vyelkin

Clyde Radcliffe posted:

I was in the same situation once but thankfully I had Lidl's own-brand instead.

There was just enough spice in there to hide what was probably cat food.

I like how the serving suggestion on yours has no aspiration at all. They know that if you're reducing to eating this, you're not going to have any carbs or vegetables to serve it with. They might as well having the serving suggestion be 'eat it straight from the can with a plastic fork'.

Apt branding, naming your poverty food after a horrible prison.

# ? Mar 14, 2022 01:50

The General: Mar 4, 2007

A Kraft slice into your ramen is great. As for somebodies friend saying that it's a problem that it completely melts away, that's madness. That's the main feature IMHO.

# ? Mar 14, 2022 01:53

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

I was assuming the prison

# ? Mar 14, 2022 01:54

FreudianSlippers: Apr 12, 2010; Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

Clyde Radcliffe posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zr50Pa3GEM

Jesus Wept.

Is there nothing you people will not can?

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:00

Empty Sandwich: Apr 22, 2008; goatse mugs

FreudianSlippers posted:

Jesus Wept.

Is there nothing you people will not can?

woof. but they look marginally better than the American ones:

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:08

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

Man, they're not great, but I feel like croissants are one of the least weird stuffs you could find in a can

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:10

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Uhh... the notion of putting delicate pastries in a can is... very weird actually yes?

Like the sort of stuff you can is solid masses of staple foods to keep you alive when you are miles from civilization, not fuckin... patisserie or whatever.

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:15

Sekhmnet: Jan 22, 2019

Empty Sandwich posted:

woof. but they look marginally better than the American ones:

All that canned dough stuff just kind of tastes the same, the biscuits the crescent rolls the pizza dough. I think it might all just be the same thing they just pre-cut it differently before they stuff it in a tube.

The guy in the video though absolutely mangled the extraction and separation of the dough though. Like, take a minute to look at it without squeezing it before just deciding gently caress it i'll rip it apart. And you peel the label and then break the seal, it rarely pops if you just peel the label unless its overproofed.

The cheap, non pillsbury biscuit dough is like 50 cents a tube at the grocery store, makes a nice cheap junk food kind of snack if you put some cheese and pepperoni on it when its baking.

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:18

SlothfulCobra: Mar 27, 2011

Considering how puff pastry dough is extremely hard to make anyways and it's really easy to buy frozen, it's actually not surprising at all to just have frozen tubes designated for that instead.

People do hacks as well.

OwlFancier posted:

Uhh... the notion of putting delicate pastries in a can is... very weird actually yes?

Like the sort of stuff you can is solid masses of staple foods to keep you alive when you are miles from civilization, not fuckin... patisserie or whatever.

It's extremely normal.

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:19

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

SlothfulCobra posted:

Today I learned about something that is apparently real popular in Korea.

https://twitter.com/nowthisnews/status/998628993912918017

I don't doubt whether it works, but American Cheese already has a negative reputation, and then cheese + water is such a weird idea, and all these pictures of ramen just with a weird square on top don't look right.

I've done this before with shin ramyun but with way, way less liquid. You cook the noodles in a shallow pan with just enough broth to prevent the noodles from burning and then you place a slice of cheese on top and let it melt a bit more before you serve or eat. It thickens the broth and adds some creaminess which actually is not bad, just not something I would recommend you eat daily.

E it should be emphasized if you eat it cold like the second pic suggests it likely would not be any good

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:21

Mr.Radar: Nov 5, 2005; You guys aren't going to believe this, but that guy is our games teacher.

Re: cheese on ramen, when my brother's Korean wife makes Army Soup (which is ramen noodles with kimchi and various meats in a spicy broth, served over rice) we add a slice of Muenster cheese on top of the rice which provides a nice creamy contrast to the broth. So I can totally see American cheese working with plain ramen.

OwlFancier posted:

Uhh... the notion of putting delicate pastries in a can is... very weird actually yes?

Like the sort of stuff you can is solid masses of staple foods to keep you alive when you are miles from civilization, not fuckin... patisserie or whatever.

They put the dough in the cans and you bake it at home.

Mr.Radar has a new favorite as of 02:44 on Mar 14, 2022

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:21

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

OwlFancier posted:

Uhh... the notion of putting delicate pastries in a can is... very weird actually yes?

Like the sort of stuff you can is solid masses of staple foods to keep you alive when you are miles from civilization, not fuckin... patisserie or whatever.

I'm not really defending them, but they're also not really an actual canned food, they're more of a quick refrigerated shortcut to a halfassed bread product which feels like regular grocery store shortcuts. It was more of a jokey comment about all the other weird actual canned stuff that guy has tried.

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:22

OwlFancier: Aug 22, 2013

Even with it just being dough it's still weird to me. Normal cans are like, a solid block of corned beef.

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:23

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

They're also not actually a can, it's more like a cardboard tube with some metalic foil

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:27

Freaquency: May 10, 2007; "Yes I can hear you, I don't have ear cancer!"

OwlFancier posted:

Even with it just being dough it's still weird to me. Normal cans are like, a solid block of corned beef.

It�s not actually a can, it�s just a cardboard tube wrapped around the dough.

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:28

Hirayuki: Mar 28, 2010

SlothfulCobra posted:

Today I learned about something that is apparently real popular in Korea.
https://twitter.com/nowthisnews/status/998628993912918017

I don't doubt whether it works, but American Cheese already has a negative reputation, and then cheese + water is such a weird idea, and all these pictures of ramen just with a weird square on top don't look right.

I'm here to tell you that it works really loving well. I do this with just about every bowl of ramen I make at home that isn't from a specialty Japanese store. I use two slices to cover the top. This recipe (well, "recipe") suggests using butter and sesame seeds, too.

e: also I'm a baby who likes Korean ramyun but finds most of it too spicy even when it's not advertised specifically as such, and this really helps mellow it out.

Hirayuki has a new favorite as of 02:46 on Mar 14, 2022

# ? Mar 14, 2022 02:42

AARD VARKMAN: May 17, 1993

I had leftover Dandan noodles the other day and I kept thinking "man I bet this would be really good with a bunch of shredded cheese on top" but I couldn't bring myself to actually do it. It felt... immoral.

# ? Mar 14, 2022 03:15

LifeSunDeath: Jan 4, 2007; still gay rights and smoke weed every day

no gods, no masters

# ? Mar 14, 2022 03:24

The Saddest Rhino: Apr 29, 2009; Put it all together.
Solve the world.
One conversation at a time.

lol i apparently did take a vid of my food, that's the cheese split in half on the left (egg's on the right). After taking this video I took the pan off the stove and stirred everything up

https://i.imgur.com/EEYs2en.mp4

# ? Mar 14, 2022 03:31

Data Graham: Dec 28, 2009; 📈📊🍪😋

OwlFancier posted:

Even with it just being dough it's still weird to me. Normal cans are like, a solid block of corned beef.

Think of it this way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mqL_LyQrAlM

# ? Mar 14, 2022 03:42

Ror: Oct 21, 2010; 😸Everything's 🗞️ purrfect!💯🤟

Sekhmnet posted:

All that canned dough stuff just kind of tastes the same, the biscuits the crescent rolls the pizza dough. I think it might all just be the same thing they just pre-cut it differently before they stuff it in a tube.

It's fine as like some extra carbs as a side roll at a meal or something, but it's all just the same squishy and buttery texture. The croissants aren't really flaky and the biscuits aren't really dense or crumbly.

Pillsbury actually sells bags of frozen buttermilk biscuits though that are pretty drat good if you don't want to make them from scratch but want a traditional southern biscuit.

# ? Mar 14, 2022 04:27

Dareon: Apr 6, 2009; by vyelkin

AARD VARKMAN posted:

I had leftover Dandan noodles the other day and I kept thinking "man I bet this would be really good with a bunch of shredded cheese on top" but I couldn't bring myself to actually do it. It felt... immoral.

Spicy stuff is good with cheese.

Noodles are good with cheese.

I'm not personally sure about soupy things being good with cheese, but with the other folks here saying "It's good, actually" I'm inclined to accept the theory.

I've cubed up some cheese and melted it into drained ramen noodles for real quick mac & cheese-like. It's digestible. Very sad. But it keeps my tottering flesh prison from collapsing.

# ? Mar 14, 2022 10:54

gschmidl: Sep 3, 2011; watch with knife hands

Dareon posted:

I'm not personally sure about soupy things being good with cheese, but with the other folks here saying "It's good, actually" I'm inclined to accept the theory.

I mean,