quote:

I’ve been married for 13 years, and have a 15 year old girl who I consider my own child. I also have 2 bio kiddies, both much younger than my stepdaughter, but since having them I will freely admit I am much more of a worrying parent than I was before.

Now, my stepdaughter has a new bike she got for Christmas. She never rode a bike before and it’s becoming habitual for her to take it out and come home with knocks and bruises. That’s fine, that’s what kids do. However she usually ALWAYS wears a helmet and her dad and I have spoken deeply about the importance of wearing protective gear which she’s agreed to etc. So usually I’m not bothered about the knocks and bruises because I know that at least her lil noggin is ok.

She was going out on a date with a boy she likes and her and I spent a good hour curling her hair. She didn’t want to wear her helmet because it would ruin the curls. I said absolutely not, you either don’t take the bike on your date OR you wear your helmet. This isn’t negotiable.

She kept whining as kids do saying she didn’t want to ruin her hair or get her makeup sweaty, I stood firm on if she is going on a biking date, she needs a helmet. She ended up promising she’d wear the helmet after a few pouts. I jokingly stuck my head out to say hi to the kid when he turned up to pick my daughter up and I told him to look after her and make sure she wore her helmet. He promised they both would.

When she came back from the date, all was forgiven and forgotten, or so I thought. However I got a few texts from my stepdaughters mom a few hours later saying ‘you do NOT get to boss my daughter around and force her to wear things she doesn’t want to wear’. I showed my husband the text when we were in bed that night expecting him to laugh about it and he looked uncomfortable and said he agreed. I’m a little upset at that- I think at 15, we all think we are invincible and I wasn’t trying to force her for a bad reason, just to keep her safe!

quote:

I'm a guy who gets ordered around the house a lot and the most common task given to me is to drive them somewhere so they can buy drinks or anything else.

Whenever I would prep my motorcycle I wear my mask and my helmet but whenever I pass another helmet to my family members they shout at me saying I'm paranoid and it's "this" close there won't even be police stationed around to ticket us.

It has been years debating for this and we would always go home with a bad temper because of the discussion and it's not changing. It's even got to the point where we actually had to discuss about it. To discuss about the topic of wearing a helmet whenever we would ride somewhere on my vehicle.

I just want to be safe everytime I drive around. I always wear a helmet but some people don't (?)

Am I the rear end in a top hat?

Edit: thank you all for your comments please keep them posting I would like to show this thread to my family after a few days when everything has settled a bit at home.

quote:

My wife (F23) approached me (M25) this morning and said she needed to talk to me urgently. I told her we could talk right at that moment and for her to say what was on her mind.

She said that she found one of our sex toys under the bathroom sink, and that she knows she didn’t put it there. I admitted to her that I used it and that I put it there. She then proceeded to ask me how I am using this toy (a dildo). I stated the obvious. She then tells me that it is weird, and that finding these toys in places where she hasn’t left them is traumatizing her and that she believes my actions are “gay” and are not normal, she demands I stop and throws every toy in the house into the trash. I told her why I do it, which is because it derives more pleasure than normal masturbation and also provides me with an experience to kinda hit my kink of anal sex, because we rarely do that and I enjoy it very much. How should I feel about this? I feel embarrassed, and slightly violated although I do understand how someone might think it’s weird.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for not making my teenage son wear a helmet when he skateboards?

r/relationships: "I will be known as the Helmet Queen"

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for not making my teenage son wear a helmet when he skateboards?

r/relationships: "I will be known as the Helmet Queen"

Mx. posted:

Wife (23M) thinks I’m weird for My (25M) madturbation choices

finding dildos in strange places: traumatizing

Mellow Seas posted:

I'm pro-helmet and yeah it's good to wear one blah blah blah, but drat, fun family. Reminds me of "Malcolm in the Middle". Weird, chill dad, funny, independent kids, and a mom who is losing her mind because all the people around her don't realize how ridiculous they are.

Mx. posted:

Wife (23M) thinks I’m weird for My (25M) madturbation choices

quote:

It sounds like an rear end in a top hat thing from the title but let me just give a few extra details. He is my biological son but I haven’t been allowed in his life or am recognized as one. This happened after a pretty hosed up night of getting high off my rear end with my brother and his wife.

Add in alcohol and we were all pretty hosed up. Most of the night was a blur but basically her and I slept together. With his permission and he was also there, but in the morning we realized how badly we all messed up and agreed it will never happen again.

My brother and I became a little estranged for a while because it was too weird to be around eachother. They later announced being pregnant but I thought I was safe because she took plan b the morning after it happened just incase. After he was born I was getting doubts though and really wanted to know for sure he wasn’t mine. My brother eventually agreed to a paternity test and that said I’m the father. I’ve been wanting to be in my son’s life but they won’t let me. My family was on his side about it and told me to stop being selfish because on paper this is his child (since they’re married) and if I’m around it’s going to complicate their marriage even more.

The whole time I tried to convince them my parents would say I’m a horrible younger brother. He felt that way too when I’d ask if I could at least come over to maybe play with him for a little bit. So about 2 months ago I gave up but kept my distance from them because it hurts too much. He’s 10 months old, still haven’t gotten to hold him. But now because his mother in law got into an accident they want me to watch him for a few days. My brother is flying with her to go see her mom because he has to help out too. Our parents right now are in the UK for a couple months.

They can’t bring him because they’re worried he might get sick if they take him to an airport. My brother says it’s only 3 days, if there was anyone else that could watch him then he’d ask but he really needs help. I told him no because he’s fine with me being a sitter when it’s at their convenience but I’m not allowed to be a dad to my son? Then it might also hurt a lot more to actually spend time with him then have to give him back and not be allowed to see him anymore.

We started arguing and we were yelling at eachother. My brother told me to grow up and stop being petty about what happened even more right now that there’s an actual emergency and they need someone’s help. I do feel bad because I get it’s a serious issue happening with her mom so they need to be there. At the same time I’m still mad about what they did so I don’t know if that’s just being petty or not. AITA?

Woozie66 posted:

Aren't canned tomatoes actually the preferred way of using tomatoes (barring you picked them this morning)? The canning helps preserve the flavor much more than something that was on a shelf for a week.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for refusing to babysit my biological son because of a family emergency on his mother’s side?

AceClown posted:

Would a paternity test even be able to tell between two brothers?

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for refusing to babysit my biological son because of a family emergency on his mother’s side?

quote:

I want to fight for him. The lawyer I had a consult with said because they’re married and my brother is acting as the father it would be a pretty difficult process. I’m still considering it but he told me the outcome may not be what I expect if a judge decides not to grant me any visitation at all

quote:

Thanks 🙏🏻 I’m going to keep trying. Stepping back and just giving up has hurt way more and I’m just tired of this. I’d rather he know that I tried everything to be his dad. Starting to research on more attorneys to meet with

Crocobile posted:

Is madturbation angry masturbating?

Also is using the same dildo vaginally and rectally (presumably the wife was using it vaginally) hygienic? Neither the OP or the wife bring it up but I’d be pretty upset to find my bf put my dildo up his butt.

kimbo305 posted:

It should be fine as long as it’s being washed properly. Which hopefully is why it was at the sink.

Evil Willow posted:

AITA for not making my teenage son wear a helmet when he skateboards?

r/relationships: "I will be known as the Helmet Queen"

Mx. posted:

Wife (23M) thinks I’m weird for My (25M) madturbation choices

finding dildos in strange places: traumatizing

Rescue Toaster posted:

There's a simple solution here but if 'under the sink' is traumatizing, then 'in the dishwasher' might kill her.

SMEGMA_MAIL posted:

can't believe my husband who apparently has sex with me, a woman, is such a queer.

moonmazed posted:

pooping is actually the least gay thing because you are removing something from your butt

Pigsfeet on Rye posted:

You heard this sung in your head by ABBA

You are the helmet queen
Young and sweet, only seventeen

Captain Hygiene posted:

But then you immediately revert to being gay the instant you touch your butt to wipe it.


Or, hmmm......

moonmazed posted:

pooping is actually the least gay thing because you are removing something from your butt

quote:

My gf (29F) moved in with me(26M) a few months ago. Been together 3 years. Shortly after she moved in she had a rough day at work and asked for a massage so I gave her one. No biggie, lasted like 2 hours. Couple days later she asked for another and I obliged. Ever since then its become this 3-4 times a week thing where she just expects me to give her a 1-2 hour massage. No talking, whatever music or show she wants on. I admittedly have a short attention span and generally don't like giving massages. Don't mind doing it once in awhile but this several times a week every week is driving me up the wall. I get tired of standing or kneeling and my hands always get sore.

I offered to pay for her to go to a spa or massage therapist weekly and she said no, she doesn't want someone else touching her and that its us spending time together. I've tried telling her various ways that us spending time together should mostly be us doing things we like together, or our own thing in the same room. If I tell her no to a massage, she'll start sitting in front of me. Get in my way, whine, lay in front of me. Put my hands on her. She never used to do this, not the whole time we've been dating or when we'd stay at each other's places. When I point that out she says this is just what couples do when they live together. It helps her relax.

Last week she asked again and I told her no. She got upset and I kinda lost it and asked if she'd give me a 2 hour BJ after I've had a rough day at work to relax me. She got really mad and said no, that's ridiculous, she gets no benefit from that and I know she doesn't like doing those. I know she doesn't, and I've never asked ever since she told me, but I told her that my example request was no different than her constantly demanding 2 hour massages from me when I get no benefit, no compromise, and can't even talk while giving one. There are other things I'd like to be doing with my time.

She's still mad. I've tried every angle I could think of to approach this issue since it started but she doesn't listen to anything. I could really use some outside perspective here. Thanks.

ETA: People suggesting I ask her for a massage to prove the point. Been there, done that. I got five minutes of an open palmed rub over the back before she stopped because her hand hurt so I have asked her to imagine what my hands feel like after an hour or two after working with them most the day. She said that its different because she likes massages whereas I'm not fond of getting them.

First, thanks to everyone for their input and advice. Its been a trip since I posted and I've just been enjoying games, Reddit and some new hobbies since then. I read as many of the comments and messages I could and took a day or two to collect how I was going to approach her.

After doing some serious reflecting and thinking, I realized that things were going in directions I really didn't like. Beyond the massage requests and staying mad for more than a week lol I had asked her for massage before and she'd go for all of 5 minutes before stopping and saying her hands hurt, bored, and it was half-assed anyway. Cooking was suddenly an issue where it wasn't in the past- she started to overseason and then complain I don't eat her cooking as much as I used to, while complaining I didn't season/salt enough when I cook though I point out she could always add whatever she needed/wanted.

I stopped giving her oral at the beginning of the relationship. I could live with no blowjobs, but my issue had been that she wanted me to do extensive foreplay, sex her, fingers, toys, AND still give her oral while only willing to give sex and handjobs. She'd been fine with this when we were dating but once moved in, she started pushing for me to go down on her again without wanting to budge on what she'd give.

We'd always clean up after ourselves and help each other clean when staying at each other's place. After moving in she's started insisting we do all the cleaning her way and she'd started making comments if I didn't do it her way. Far as I'm concerned, so long as it gets done and the house isn't a pigpen, that's all that matters. Same time, she had no interest in helping with yard work or work around the house so I've been putting in more towards the housework and upkeep than she was. Pouted I stopped making her tea nightly when she no longer could be bothered to bring me a drink back when she already got up to get something from the kitchen. Tell me to get it myself.

She rearranged all the furniture without asking me for my input then complained that she had to do it all her self while I was at work. Well duh she decided to do it all of a sudden when I was at work and expected me to be thrilled. I had a gaming room set up and before she moved in, I moved all my stuff to one side of the room so she could have her own hobby/work space as well. Instead she started wanting to redecorate the entire room her way and spread everything out.

Basically, she wasn't being the fair and reasonable woman I'd been dating for 3 years. Felt like I had been lied to. I told her I wanted to talk about things and explained I used the original example I had because it was the only physically intimate example I had to use that she could understand- I understood and respected her not wanting to give blowjobs so I had expected her to be able to understand where I was coming from. I was doing something laborious, time consuming, and no benefit to me for her comfort and pleasure out of a place of love and wanting to care for her. Expected to have that energy returned in kind in some form and that her behavior since moving in was anything but.

She doubled down that this is just what couples do when they live together and I should be doing what I can to make sure she's comfortable and happy. I told her I did want her comfortable and happy but not solely at the expense of my own. Either we compromise or its the breaks. She thought there wasn't anything to compromise and that her expectations were fair and I just needed to do some growing. Maybe I do but I ended it with her and told her she had 30 days to get out of my house.

I didn't back down after that and didn't engage in her attempts at arguments or sleeping together. Even offered to blow me but said no and told her she could sleep in the guest room until she's moved out.

Holy loving poo poo. Next day she left with her sister who had a go at me. Ignored her, stayed quiet and just let them leave. Got a call from her father later that I wasn't the stand up guy he thought. I was supposed to do anything I could to make her happy. Guys are supposed to put their wife's happiness first and if that means making tea, giving massages, not asking her to help with the lawn, doing extra chores after work so she could relax, that's what I was supposed to do. He lets his wife do whatever she wants with the house and caters to her after they're both home from work, that's what makes a happy life. Well. Cool for them. That's not the relationship I want.

Then he hit me with he'd be seeking legal action for kicking his daughter out of her house. I was a bit dumbstruck and asked him what the hell he meant, its my house. Apparently she told them I put her name on the deed when she moved in and she's been paying towards it. Pretty much laughed in his face and told him she lied. My grandparents co-signed this house for me and I make payments to them each month, she had no rent to pay. I put some of the utilities in her name so she could keep building her credit but that was about it, we split those expenses. So now I'm just dealing with the fallout from her family and mutual friends that I've been overreacting but after the house thing..good riddance.

First, thanks to everyone for their input and advice. Its been a trip since I posted and I've just been enjoying games, Reddit and some new hobbies since then. I read as many of the comments and messages I could and took a day or two to collect how I was going to approach her.

After doing some serious reflecting and thinking, I realized that things were going in directions I really didn't like. Beyond the massage requests and staying mad for more than a week lol I had asked her for massage before and she'd go for all of 5 minutes before stopping and saying her hands hurt, bored, and it was half-assed anyway. Cooking was suddenly an issue where it wasn't in the past- she started to overseason and then complain I don't eat her cooking as much as I used to, while complaining I didn't season/salt enough when I cook though I point out she could always add whatever she needed/wanted.

I stopped giving her oral at the beginning of the relationship. I could live with no blowjobs, but my issue had been that she wanted me to do extensive foreplay, sex her, fingers, toys, AND still give her oral while only willing to give sex and handjobs. She'd been fine with this when we were dating but once moved in, she started pushing for me to go down on her again without wanting to budge on what she'd give.

We'd always clean up after ourselves and help each other clean when staying at each other's place. After moving in she's started insisting we do all the cleaning her way and she'd started making comments if I didn't do it her way. Far as I'm concerned, so long as it gets done and the house isn't a pigpen, that's all that matters. Same time, she had no interest in helping with yard work or work around the house so I've been putting in more towards the housework and upkeep than she was. Pouted I stopped making her tea nightly when she no longer could be bothered to bring me a drink back when she already got up to get something from the kitchen. Tell me to get it myself.

She rearranged all the furniture without asking me for my input then complained that she had to do it all her self while I was at work. Well duh she decided to do it all of a sudden when I was at work and expected me to be thrilled. I had a gaming room set up and before she moved in, I moved all my stuff to one side of the room so she could have her own hobby/work space as well. Instead she started wanting to redecorate the entire room her way and spread everything out.

Basically, she wasn't being the fair and reasonable woman I'd been dating for 3 years. Felt like I had been lied to. I told her I wanted to talk about things and explained I used the original example I had because it was the only physically intimate example I had to use that she could understand- I understood and respected her not wanting to give blowjobs so I had expected her to be able to understand where I was coming from. I was doing something laborious, time consuming, and no benefit to me for her comfort and pleasure out of a place of love and wanting to care for her. Expected to have that energy returned in kind in some form and that her behavior since moving in was anything but.

She doubled down that this is just what couples do when they live together and I should be doing what I can to make sure she's comfortable and happy. I told her I did want her comfortable and happy but not solely at the expense of my own. Either we compromise or its the breaks. She thought there wasn't anything to compromise and that her expectations were fair and I just needed to do some growing. Maybe I do but I ended it with her and told her she had 30 days to get out of my house.

I didn't back down after that and didn't engage in her attempts at arguments or sleeping together. Even offered to blow me but said no and told her she could sleep in the guest room until she's moved out.

Holy loving poo poo. Next day she left with her sister who had a go at me. Ignored her, stayed quiet and just let them leave. Got a call from her father later that I wasn't the stand up guy he thought. I was supposed to do anything I could to make her happy. Guys are supposed to put their wife's happiness first and if that means making tea, giving massages, not asking her to help with the lawn, doing extra chores after work so she could relax, that's what I was supposed to do. He lets his wife do whatever she wants with the house and caters to her after they're both home from work, that's what makes a happy life. Well. Cool for them. That's not the relationship I want.

Then he hit me with he'd be seeking legal action for kicking his daughter out of her house. I was a bit dumbstruck and asked him what the hell he meant, its my house. Apparently she told them I put her name on the deed when she moved in and she's been paying towards it. Pretty much laughed in his face and told him she lied. My grandparents co-signed this house for me and I make payments to them each month, she had no rent to pay. I put some of the utilities in her name so she could keep building her credit but that was about it, we split those expenses. So now I'm just dealing with the fallout from her family and mutual friends that I've been overreacting but after the house thing..good riddance.

Mellow Seas posted:

If your butt is even capable of experiencing pleasurable sensations, you're gay. I'm afraid the only way to be a real man is to give yourself horrible painful hemorrhoids.

quote:

I know the title makes me sound like an a hole but hear me out. I (35 female) have three children with my ex boyfriend (37 male). We had 50/50 custody since our last daughter (7 years of age). June of 2021 he asked for 100 percent custody and of course I refused. He threatened me saying he would get it. That Sunday when I got them for my week my children were angry and accused me of kidnapping them. The whole week they were too much so I gave him 100 percent custody while agreeing to pay child support. It was summer so of course they were having lots of fun and since his new girlfriend couldn't have children it was like a perfect situation for them. Well I moved out of the house, got an apartment where I could easily pay rent, and began living my best life. It got kind of lonely but I reminded myself it was just me and I was free to do anything I want. Well once school started problems rose at their house, he didn't know what to do when it came to school as I covered all of it. I gave him a binder with everything he would need to do. Well since January the kids and my ex have been begging to go back to 50/50 and I've refused everytime. His reasons are 1 they cant have bedtime with them in the house 2 working with the school for grades is to complicated 3 he cant discipline them 4 they expect an allowance 5 hes sorry for threatening me. I still refused and told them they made their choice. Well he told my family and I'm getting messages from everyone for not taking the kids backs. So AITA?

Hughlander posted:

AITA for refusing to take 50 percent custody after my children left themselves


"My kids were little shits to me once? Well gently caress you! I'm getting rid of your room and never seeing you again!"

teen witch posted:

AITA for wanting my boyfriend to make clear our daughter's name was his idea?

Captain Hygiene posted:

Yeah I'm kinda thinking everyone's terrible in that one, you don't usually get everybody treating the kids quite so much like hot potatoes in these stories.