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Tiny Jim, the three-inch tall version of Jim, climbs out of the oversized pocket on Jim's JNCO jeans, up onto the desk and runs over to Dwight's keyboard. He jumps from key to key, spelling out "I LOVE BEETS" and sending the email to everyone in the office. Dwight returns from the bathroom and sees the email in his sent folder. He sees what appears to be Jim yelling at his crotch, "I said "butts," not "beets!""
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Mar 17, 2022 20:16
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| # ? May 14, 2024 15:07 |
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Toby and Michael ask Jim "how many Jims are in the room with us right now?" Jim smiles, his eyes going cross-eyed for a moment and then slowly moving back into position. "More than you could ever conceive of, friends." Toby places a call to Corporate HR to handle this.
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Mar 17, 2022 20:18
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jim wears only clingfilm and tennis shoes to work, in an attempt to arouse dwight
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Mar 17, 2022 20:18
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Dwight grabs a roll of aluminum foil to wrap up some leftovers at home. He winces when he grabs the foil, which is wet and sticky. Looking closer, it's human flesh, not aluminum foil at all. "Talk about some skin in the game!" comes Jim's voice on the cool evening breeze.
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Mar 17, 2022 20:20
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Toby and Michael ask Jim "how many Jims are in the room with us right now?" Jim smiles, his eyes going cross-eyed for a moment and then slowly moving back into position. "More than you could ever conceive of, friends." Toby pretends to place a call to Corporate HR to handle this (Toby is actually another Jim surgically altered to look like Toby).
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Mar 17, 2022 20:26
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Jim gets really into the TV show Black Mirror and makes a big deal about how smart he is for understanding the subtext of the episodes. (He doesn't understand and in many cases grossly misunderstands the subtext of most episodes, infuriating Dwight.)
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Mar 17, 2022 21:02
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Jim buys Hitler's car and drives it around... as a prank.
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Mar 17, 2022 22:28
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Jim decides to introduce Dwight to Tiny Jim. He unzips his pants.
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Mar 17, 2022 23:45
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The Awesomesaurus posted:Jim decides to introduce Dwight to Tiny Jim. He unzips his pants. To Dwight's horror, a tiny homunculus pops out instead of Jim's penis.
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Mar 17, 2022 23:48
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“Talk about little surprises!” Jim quips as he mugs the camera.
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Mar 18, 2022 00:02
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tiny jim proceeds to get his dick out
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Mar 18, 2022 00:03
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Tiny Jim's tiny JNCO jeans become a distraction at work.
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Mar 18, 2022 00:28
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One of Angela’s cats eats Tiny Jim, and regular-sized Jim guilt trips Dwight into going on a Fantastic Voyage to rescue him. Dwight boards Jim’s shrinking nuclear submarine, and is loaded into a syringe, ready to be injected into the cat. However, Jim instead goes into the bathroom and empties the syringe into the toilet. He mugs the camera as he plops down and takes an enormous dump. “Man, talk about a lovely situation!” The Awesomesaurus fucked around with this message at 05:52 on Mar 18, 2022 |
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Mar 18, 2022 04:21
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Dwight sits down at his desk accompanied by a sudden whooshing sound. Red lines form in a grid all over Dwight's body, and his flesh tumbles apart into small cubes. Jim has rigged up the wire-mesh trap from the movie Cube under Dwight's chair. "Dwight, what a square!", Jim says then mugs for the camera.
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Mar 18, 2022 13:20
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You’re a natural, got it in one
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Mar 18, 2022 13:28
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Jim paints a brown stain in the center of the toilet rim, making the hygienic Dwight just hold it in rather than using the company restrooms.
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Mar 18, 2022 13:50
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Jim injects Dwight with a serum that destroys Dwight's inner ear so he feels like he's perpetually in free fall.
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Mar 18, 2022 14:16
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Jim starts talking in overwrought baby talk all the time.
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Mar 18, 2022 14:31
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Jim redirects the grey water pipe to the coffee machine, causing an outbreak of gastroenteritis.
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Mar 18, 2022 15:12
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Jim steals Dwight’s identity and creates a new false persona with the same name. He uses it to convince Dwight that a doppelgänger is stalking him and that Jim’s own pranks are in fact perpetrated by the doppelgänger. Jim gets Dwight blackout drunk and leaves him to wake in a puddle of semen with a VHS copy of It Follows sitting nearby.
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Mar 18, 2022 15:54
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Jim tries to convince Dwight that all of Jim's pranks were actually perpetrated by a doppelgänger, trying to ruin Jim's life. Dwight scoffs and ignores him. Jim says he's afraid to be alone and invites Dwight to Poor Richard's after work so that he'll have "someone to watch my back while I eat the last chicken wings of my life." After dinner, Jim tells Dwight that he's really afraid that his doppelgänger will escalate things and kill him, Dwight tells him to stop being silly. Jim looks nervous and walks to the bathroom. A moment later, Jim walks in the front door. But this Jim looks... maybe it's a trick of the light, but Dwight could swear that this Jim is about 10% smaller. Smaller Jim smirks (smallishly).
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Mar 18, 2022 16:08
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Jim hacks into all of Dwight's social media accounts and alters the algorithms to only show Dwight the most depressing and terrible things imaginable. Dwight shows up to work the next day looking sullen. "Why the long face there, buddy?" Dwight explains that he just feels down, the weight of the world seems especially heavy. War, disease, death. People can't even find common ground on the smallest things imaginable, how can we ever hope to fix the big problems? Jim grins. "You know what, I think I have the fix for you right here. Go take a look out the window and tell me the world is still a sad, lonely place. Trust me, you're gonna feel a LOT different, buddy!" Dwight walks over to the open window. He looks out and takes a deep breath. Jim is right. The sun is shining, birds are chirping. Every moment is a miracle, an almost infinite amount of random things combining together to form a beautiful symphony of life. Dwight truly does love this world, warts and all. Then Jim shoves Dwight as hard as he can, pushing him out the window. Dwight falls 4 stories into an open dumpster. "Jeez, talk about down in the dumps!" says Jim with a sly grin. Jim mugs for the camera.
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Mar 18, 2022 16:59
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Jim covets Dwight's regular poops. Jim's own stool varies widely in texture and consistency day by day and even hour by hour. He might spend hours on the toilet fighting constipation in the morning, only to have unexpected, explosive diarrhea by lunchtime. Jim asks Dwight his secret, and Dwight expounds on the benefits of a beet-based diet. Jim stops listening because he's watching youtube videos on how to perform your own stool transplant.
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Mar 18, 2022 17:39
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Jim lets out a huge fart while Dwight is on a conference call. "That's funny right there, I don't care who you are!" Jim says in an exaggerated southern drawl. A distracted Dwight looks at Jim, who suddenly pops a trucker hat on his head that says "GIT ER PRANKED". "Hey Dwight, you ever fart so hard your back crack? A heh HEH HEH, git er pranked!" Dwight has to put up with the antics of "Jimmy the Prankster Guy" for the next 2 weeks, until Jim gets bored and seemingly returns to "normal". On that day, Dwight accidentally spills his coffee in the breakroom. "Hey Dwight? Heeeeeeere's your sign!" Jim mugs for the camera, Bill Engvall-ishly.
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Mar 18, 2022 18:09
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Jim breaks into Dwight's old high school and finds his permanent record, hoping for something juicy to mock him for. Unfortunately, it's perfectly clean. Dwight was a model student and never even missed a day of school. Irritated, Jim tears the record in half. The next day, Michael asks Dwight to come into his office. "Dwight, uh, this is difficult. Very difficult. But it seems as if your permanent record was somehow destroyed. You know what this means, you are now unemployable. I'm sorry." Dwight, understanding the importance of a permanent record, shakes Michael's hand and leaves without argument. After all, he says, it was his permanent record. As he leaves, Jim looks flabbergasted. "Wait... your permanent record REALLY does matter?" "Yes, Jim, didn't you pay attention in school?" adds Oscar, solmenly. Jim bolts out the door, terrified that a similar fate might befall his own permanent record. "Okay thank God, that should buy us at least a few days to get some work done," Michael says. Dwight sits back down to his computer and enjoys the silence.
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Mar 18, 2022 19:42
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Jim shows up to his annual performance review dressed as Uncle Sam, claiming "it's unpatriotic to say anything mean about me because that would be saying something mean about America." To Dwight's chagrin, Michael Scott falls for this ruse and disregards the extensive file of disciplinary infractions Dwight has compiled against Jim, instead giving Jim a glowing performance review and concludes by tearfully singing "America the Beautiful."
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Mar 18, 2022 20:09
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Jim shows up to work in a Big Dogs t-shirt, causing a stir. Michael Scott arrives to see what all the commotion is about, but is too intimidated to say anything about Jim's outrageous new shirt and the devastating aura of raw attitude that it exudes. Within seconds and without a word exchanged, Michael becomes a mewling whelp, shrinking back from Jim, bowing his head and pissing his own pants in a sign of deferential respect. Jim simply smirks and dons a pair of cheap plastic sunglasses. Dwight quickly realizes that if Jim's new choice of attire is left unchallenged, he will truly become the "big dog" of Dunder Mifflin.
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Mar 19, 2022 03:00
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Dwight shows up to work wearing extra large JNCO jeans. Jim is stunned, and instinctively covers the big dog on his tshirt. “No,” he says to himself, “I am the big dog. I can’t keep letting Dwight prove how much more extreme he is than me!” Jim steps forward, with extreme attitude, and gestures toward his crotch. “Suck it!” Dwight takes a step back, and the rest of the office staff say, with increasing inflection, “Ohhhhhhhhhhh!” After a moment of composure, Dwight steps right into Jin’s face and says, “You think you’re all that, and a bag of chips. But I’m here to tell you: you ain’t squat!” Jim shrinks back, stunned. But he remembers that it isn’t the size of the dog in the fight, it’s the size of the fight in the dog.” Dwight is blasted backward into the wall. He pulls himself from the splintered particle board and steps toward Jim, shouting “It’s not the fall that kills you. It’s the sudden stop at the end. No FEAAAAR!” And the shockwave throws Jim back, through a window, and down two stories outside the building onto Toby’s car. Jim dusts himself off and staggers to his feet as Dwight levitates down to the ground near him. “Little Jim, I need you,” he murmurs. From the pocket of Jim’s baggy, acid washed jeans crawls Little Jim, the three-inch version of Jim. He steps up to Dwight, flips him the middle finger, and pulls out a microphone. “My name is Kiiiiiiiiid…… Jiiiiiiiiiiiiiim!” The sheer ballsiness of Little Jim blasts Dwight up into the stratosphere. Jim smirks at the camera, with an extra dose of pure attitude.
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Mar 19, 2022 03:59
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It's casual Friday, and Jim shows up dressed the same as every other day. Floppy, unkempt hair. Wrinkled dress shirt. Loosely tied tie. Khaki pants with some unidentifiable stains. Sonic the Hedgehog styled tennis shoes. Dwight (wearing a pair of jeans and a Battlestar Galactica graphic tee) asks Jim if he forgot it was casual Friday. "NOPE!" says Jim, as he grips the top of his head and begins to pull. In one smooth motion he removes all of his flesh, leaving behind only a standing skeleton. The skeleton Jim then hangs his meaty bits and clothing up in the closet. "Heh, talk about skeletons in the closet, huh?" Skeleton Jim is probably mugging for the camera, but it's impossible to tell.
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Mar 19, 2022 11:58
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Jim puts a 6 billion dollar bounty on Dwight's head, leading to a series of crazy scenarios where Dwight must contend with a cast of kooky and deadly assassins coming for him.
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Mar 19, 2022 15:11
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jim calmly reclines in an armchair with a cup of tea, occasionally glancing at the clock. after a while there is a muffled gasp from the air vent, followed by a dull crump as of a far-off underground detonation. jim mugs the camera.
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Mar 19, 2022 15:25
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Jim's new twitter account, @DwightsBalls, is a huge hit after getting retweeted multiple times by several social media influencers. The account has nothing to do with Dwight's balls, however, it's just a bunch of inane ramblings and "deep" thoughts that are about as shallow as a puddle. None of that matters to Jim, though. All that matters is that Kelly keeps saying "Did you see Dwight's Balls today? Oh my GOD!". Jim mugs for the camera.
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Mar 19, 2022 15:33
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To celebrate National Common Courtesy Day on March 20th, Dwight hands Jim a small wrapped box. "Well, jeez, I didn't get you anything, Dwight. Except my beautiful face, hahahah!" Jim opens the present and finds a coffee mug inside. He picks it up and discovers that Dwight has printed his face on the mug. Dwight explains that he got the idea from Kelly, who had previously printed similar mugs for everyone. "Except for us, remember?" adds Dwight, with a smile. Jim looks at the mug. The 2 dimensional abstraction of his face mugs back at him. Jim mugs for the mug. "Wow, I uh... I don't... thank you, Dwight. Thanks." Jim doesn't prank Dwight for the next week.
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Mar 19, 2022 15:48
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Jim spends hours just staring into his mug. The Tiny Jim printed in the mug mugs him back. “Should…. Should we be concerned?” asks Phyllis. “Just let the freak stare at his cup.” grumbles Stanley, “This is the most work I’ve gotten done in months.”
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Mar 19, 2022 16:21
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Jim slips a mousetrap into each of Dwight's gloves.
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Mar 19, 2022 18:41
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poisonpill posted:Jim spends hours just staring into his mug. The Tiny Jim printed in the mug mugs him back. Jim brushes his fingertips across the surface of the mug. "Tiny Jim..." he mutters over and over, his mind whirling. "A tiny Jim..."
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Mar 19, 2022 19:45
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One morning, a man in a mustard yellow shirt shows up to the office and everyone falls silent, looking up from their work. Jim does a double take when he looks up from his desk and sees that the man appears to be Dwight's exact double! "Hey everyone," says the doppelganger, "did you miss me?" The entire office erupts into a cheer, "Balloon boy!!!" and soon they're all rushing to greet him. "I'm sorry I had to leave after only a month, but life threw a lot of lemons my way." the stranger explains. He walks over to Dwight and pulls him into a friendly side-hug. "I really have to thank Cousin Dwight for filling in for me." Jim glances back and forth between Dwight and his double. No, he realizes, they're not quite identical. In fact, the more that he looks at them side by side, the more differences he notices. Their face structure, their smile. Even their eyes are a different color. Only an idiot would get these two men confused. Only a complete and utter idiot! He feels a pit opening up in his stomach. "It's great to have you back, Balloon Boy." says Michael, shaking his hand. "And don't worry, Dwight's done a great job of filling in for you. In fact he's done such a good job that I think at least one of us never even noticed that you left!" The entire office erupts into uproarious laughter as they turn to face a shaking, sweating Jim. Jim has to be taken to the hospital.
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Mar 20, 2022 00:40
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Libra posted:One morning, a man in a mustard yellow shirt shows up to the office and everyone falls silent, looking up from their work. Jim does a double take when he looks up from his desk and sees that the man appears to be Dwight's exact double! "Hey everyone," says the doppelganger, "did you miss me?" lmao
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Mar 20, 2022 04:54
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Every time I worry that the thread might finally be running out of ideas, someone manages to surprise me.
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Mar 20, 2022 05:02
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| # ? May 14, 2024 15:07 |
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Like I'm not saying anyone has yet run out of ideas but like, at a certain point I begin to be like "okay there's no possible way we're not gonna have much more."
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Mar 20, 2022 05:04
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