r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

The Something Awful Forums > Main > General Bullshit > r/relationships: I have nothing against this baby.

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Persona Grenada
What a wonderful phrase
Persona Grenada
For abandoned babes

AITA for suggesting an open relationship to my wife?

quote:

I(29M) and my wife(28F) have been together for 10 years married for 5. We were high school sweethearts and I knew I wanted to marry her from the day I met her. There was only one issue for me. She had slept with other people before meeting me and she is the only person I've been intimate with.

I have never really considered her being the only person I was with as weird or not normal in the past. Her past has bothered me and made me insecure but she has never been unfaithful to me in anyway. We have 2 wonderful son's that I love and I never thought I could be happier. Until I met my friends Buddy(29m) and Pal(34M).

Pal and my wife do not get along. She doesn't like him and thinks he is bad friend to me and encourages me to do bad things. She adores Buddy and Buddy thinks my wife is great so I usually only hang out with Pal without my wife and Buddy is fine to hang out whenever. Well a few times I have brought my wife with me to Pal's house and I just have her hang out with his wife(They don't have much in common but since the are both women I thought they would become friends). They didn't get close like I had hoped but one day Pal admitted to cheating on his wife in front of my wife and she immediately told his wife despite them not being close and caused him unnecessary complications in his relationship.

Buddy is single, and Pal is still sleeping with other women and both have had lost of past experience. Pal thinks it's weird that I have only been with my wife and after listening to their experiences I decided I do want to try out being with someone else after all. I told my wife all this and she just was really quiet for a long time and then left. When I found her she was sitting in a tree in our backyard bawling her eyes out. I asked her to come down and talk and she agreed.

I explained to her how it's not forever and asked if she would be okay with an open relationship but only open on my side because I don't want another man to touch my wife and she has been with people besides me before we met. I told her it's not a big deal and it's just like going out to dinner instead of coming home to eat leftovers. This made things worse and made her start to break down crying.

I admit this may have come off a bit insensitive but I think she being way over dramatic. Also she has always been willing to make sacrifices for me before so I don't know why she is being so selfish now. She has struggled with being insecure before because of past relationships and abuse she suffered as a child but she should know I'm not going to leave her for another woman, I just want to try one.

Pal thinks I am totally justified for my request. Buddy took my wife's side and thinks I am being a total A-hole. I however don't think I am, I may have worded it wrong but I think my wife is being selfish about this. AITA?

Edit:it's been 3 days since this took place and my wife won't even look at me and has been sleeping in another room because she starts crying whenever she looks at me.

Halloween Jack fucked around with this message at 14:20 on Mar 22, 2022

# ? Mar 22, 2022 14:18

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# ? May 14, 2024 14:28

Boaz MacPhereson: Jul 11, 2006; Day 12045 Ht10hands 180lbs
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Keep muzzled...

Halloween Jack posted:

Persona Grenada
What a wonderful phrase
Persona Grenada
For abandoned babes

AITA for suggesting an open relationship to my wife?

The timeless classic relationship grenade. :yum:

Enjoy your divorce!

# ? Mar 22, 2022 14:35

ilmucche: Mar 16, 2016

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for suggesting an open relationship to my wife?

Pal ain't your friend, guy

# ? Mar 22, 2022 14:41

Invisible Clergy: Sep 25, 2015; "Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces"

Malachi 2:3

Halloween Jack posted:

Persona Grenada
What a wonderful phrase
Persona Grenada
For abandoned babes

AITA for suggesting an open relationship to my wife?

It's our brain cell free
misogyny
Persona Grenada

Boaz MacPhereson posted:

The timeless classic relationship grenade. Enjoy your divorce!

Hard to get a more open relationship than that!

This also happened, albeit in a different ep of "American Dad."

r/relationships: since the are both women I thought they would become friends

# ? Mar 22, 2022 14:42

Well Manicured Man: Aug 21, 2010; Well Manicured Mort

AITA for calling out my daughter for how she spoke in our family Bbq?

quote:

My (52f) daughter (26f) is a huge animal lover. So is her husband. They have two dogs and one cat. They're always covered in dog hair and surprisingly the cat doesn't shed as much as the dogs. They have those roll stickers to clean dog hair from their clothes and they do but in their house their carpets and couches need to be vaccumed every second day to keep free of dog hair. I've gotta admit though they keep their pets very clean and groomed. They have a ritual after the dog walks where they clean the dogs' paws and hair that might have touched the ground.

On Saturday we had a little family get together in our backyard. My daughter and her husband were present, it was also my husband, my sister, her two daughters and their partners and my brother with his sons. One of my brother's sons married his gf of 1 year just before Xmas. At some point during the gathering, they started having a convo about pets. One of my sister's daughters has a dog. My daughter has her pets. And as the convo went on, my nephew's wife made it clear how much she despises dogs and cats and how she hates animals approaching her because she hates animal fur and can't stand when people have their pets that free in their houses. My niece with the dog surprisingly agreed with the nephew's wife despite having a dog of her own. Then the cousins started talking about how they love pets but they can't stand them on furnitures and how they low-key find them gross etc. My nephew's wife pointed at my daughter and said "Yeah look for example I'd never be able to visit (my daughter's name) house. She has two dogs and a cat, I can't imagine the dirt and fur in that place" to which my daughter aggressively replied "Who said you'd be welcome in the first place? I didnt invite you nor do I plan to". My nieces immediately told her that she's being rude and that my nephew's wife has a point. My sister then told her that she can't be serious that she wouldn't invite people in her house because they don't like pets. My daughter insisted "I wouldn't invite them. Why would I invite someone over if they think my place is gross?" my sister told her that she could make one or two adjustments for her non pet fan guests of hers for few hours. My daughter said "I could but I don't have to and I don't want to. So that leaves us with the fact that none of you are ever welcome in my house".

I called my daughter out on her behavior and told her she's rule. She told me to shut up and I'm an AH for defending people who pointed at her and insulted the way she chooses to live in her house. She then left with her husband. My husband also said I was TA and I had no reason calling our daughter out because she was just defending herself. So AITA for this?

"I would never visit set foot in your disgusting house!"
"Okay then, don't :byewhore:

"
"B-B-But :decorum:

# ? Mar 22, 2022 14:51

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

therattle posted:

Persona Grenada, ooh, I want to take ya
Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama
Key Largo, Montego, baby, why don't we go? Jamaica

Persona Granada!
What a wonderful phrase!
Persona Granada!
Ain't no passing craze!

It means you'll ruin
Relationships every day

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:07

Olive Branch: May 26, 2010; There is no wealth like knowledge, no poverty like ignorance.

Man, is my Hakuna Matata parody last page just chopped liver?

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:08

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

Olive Branch posted:

Man, is my Hakuna Matata parody last page just chopped liver?

It was in the past, did you learn nothing from hakuna matata????

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:11

Brandfarlig: Nov 5, 2009; These colours don't run.

Olive Branch posted:

Man, is my Hakuna Matata parody last page just chopped liver?

They all suck, don't worry.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:11

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Brandfarlig posted:

don't worry

They're one step ahead of you

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:12

Pondex: Jul 8, 2014

Halloween Jack posted:

Persona Grenada
What a wonderful phrase
Persona Grenada
For abandoned babes

AITA for suggesting an open relationship to my wife?

Just tremendous.
If this was a sitcom husband being a dumbass it would be too on the nose.
He's like a destilled dumbass. Platonic ideal-dumbass.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:14

Olive Branch: May 26, 2010; There is no wealth like knowledge, no poverty like ignorance.

Brandfarlig posted:

They all suck, don't worry.

This is GBS, that goes without saying! And since it's all about being lazy and not giving a poo poo, here's a story.

AITA for telling my friend that laziness is what makes her unattractive?

quote:

My roommate(20F) who is also my friend, has never been confident about her looks. She complains it, she never like selfies nor taking pictures with herself in it.

She is mildly overweight, but her meats are well distributed giving her good curves. She has freckles and acnes, but not very obvious unless you look closely. She has full lips, but they are a little unhealthy because she has a poor blood circulation. She has amber eyes, but her eyelids are thick and making her eyes look small.

Overall, when she says herself that she looks unattractive, I agree, and I don't have any ill will towards her. She also never wears any sort of make-up nor use any skin products, nor shave, nor putting any effort to look any way she wanted to be. Not saying like its a bad thing but that's what she does.

I don't want to describe myself because that seems to be a little awkward consider I am the one writing but just know that I like making myself feel good and look good on camera. This isn't something I am born with but something I work on everyday.

So we were talking about random stuff earlier and somehow we brought up about looks. My friend then went on and say that I am lucky to look attractive while she has always been unattractive. I then observed her(as what I've described above) and gave her some advices. I used to give her the same advices but she had always brushed me off saying nothing works on someone as unattractive as she is.

However this time I think I got impatient and crossed a line. I told her that laziness is what made her unattractive. She could just try to work on something, be it the usages of beauty products or treatments, exercise, anything and they could have make her look much better. She admits that she is unattractive and had aways been just too lazy to put in any efforts to change.

She is quite mad at me right now, saying that I am just shaming her for her looks. I feel a little bad but I also think that what I said is true, if she is not proud of how she looks and too lazy to change then laziness is the reason that she stays this way. AITA for saying that to her?

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:16

pentyne: Nov 7, 2012

Olive Branch posted:

This is GBS, that goes without saying! And since it's all about being lazy and not giving a poo poo, here's a story.

AITA for telling my friend that laziness is what makes her unattractive?

The question is how much time the friend spends complaining about her appearance wanting reassurances.

I think telling someone to exercise more and start up a serious make-up regimen is a hilariously poor choice but if you deal with someone who is constantly insisting they are ugly, refusing compliments, and also frequently bringing up the topic for whatever reason, some hard truths are better then empty platitudes.

poo poo, I'd go so far as telling her that constantly whining about being unattractive is probably the no 1 thing that makes people find her unattractive.

The "meats distributed" line is weird enough that the OP is still an rear end in a top hat though.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:20

Murderion: Oct 4, 2009; 2019. New York is in ruins. The global economy is spiralling. Cyborgs rule over poisoned wastes.

The only time that's left is
FUN TIME

Olive Branch posted:

This is GBS, that goes without saying! And since it's all about being lazy and not giving a poo poo, here's a story.

AITA for telling my friend that laziness is what makes her unattractive?

"She is mildly overweight, but her meats are well distributed"

her meats are well distributed

her meats are well distributed

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:21

Johnny Truant: Jul 22, 2008

r/relationships: She is mildly overweight, but her meats are well distributed

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:21

Lone Goat: Apr 16, 2003; When life gives you lemons, suplex those lemons.

Johnny Truant posted:

r/relationships: her meats are well distributed

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:23

therattle: Jul 24, 2007; Soiled Meat

r/relationships: her meats are well distributed giving her good curves

I don't know why but this phrasing is making me laugh my head off

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:24

Barudak: May 7, 2007

I read that as "her meats are well disturbed" and I was struggling so hard yall

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:25

datajugend: Jan 15, 2010; Cat Army

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for suggesting an open relationship to my wife?

My wife Leftovers.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:28

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Olive Branch posted:

This is GBS, that goes without saying! And since it's all about being lazy and not giving a poo poo, here's a story.

AITA for telling my friend that laziness is what makes her unattractive?

"Her Meats are Well Distributed" is real loving weird and I can understand bouncing off of the story after that but she immediately follows that up with "She has full lips, but they are a little unhealthy because she has a poor blood circulation. She has amber eyes, but her eyelids are thick and making her eyes look small."

How many hours a day does OP spend just staring at her roommate like a serial killer?

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:28

Captain Hygiene: Sep 17, 2007; You mess with the crabbo...

AITA? My mother feels entitled to a piece of my inheritance, I'm not so sure.

quote:

My paternal grandfather died a while back and my brothers and I are set to receive a substantial inheritance. My mother feels that my brothers and I should make her a recipient of the estate. When we asked why she feels this way, she told us that she always assumed that my grandfather would leave her money and because he did not, my brothers and I should make that right. Keep in mind that this is my father's father who died. My parents divorced over 20 years ago and my father died over 10 years ago.

I want to give my mother a generous gift when I receive my inheritance, but I need her to know that she is not owed/entitled to anything. I offered to gift her over $100k as well as set up a trust that would pay her a regular income. She did not think that was a reasonable offer.

Am I being unreasonable, or is she? Am I the rear end in a top hat?

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:30

Barudak: May 7, 2007

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA? My mother feels entitled to a piece of my inheritance, I'm not so sure.

Well, congrats, you now know who the stupid brother is

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:32

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Captain Hygiene posted:

AITA? My mother feels entitled to a piece of my inheritance, I'm not so sure.

If she thinks setting her up for life is unfair, take her at her word, give her nothing.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:32

Mr. Lobe: Feb 23, 2007; ... Dry bones...

Kurieg posted:

"Her Meats are Well Distributed" is real loving weird and I can understand bouncing off of the story after that but she immediately follows that up with "She has full lips, but they are a little unhealthy because she has a poor blood circulation. She has amber eyes, but her eyelids are thick and making her eyes look small."

How many hours a day does OP spend just staring at her roommate like a serial killer?

Odds are her roommate has pointed out each of those flaws seeking validation

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:40

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Her face is maybe just a 5/10 but she's got meat distribution like Arby's

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:49

Halloween Jack: Sep 12, 2003; I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

AITA for not stopping my nephew from doing the Wakanda Forever sign?

quote:

I (30f) have a five-year-old nephew I pick up from school and drop off at home a few days a week. He's absolutely obsessed with all things superheroes and spends a lot of time running around pretending to be them and using their catchphrases and that kind of thing. One of his latest obsessions is Black Panther and sometimes he'll say "Wakanda forever!" and do the arm movement the characters do in the film. It never occurred to me that this might be problematic.

Yesterday I was taking him home from school and I had a friend with me as we were going shopping/ out for dinner afterwards. On the tube (metro, subway), he was saying it over and over and doing the arm movement. I told him to quiet down a bit because I thought it might be annoying other people having a child loudly playing, but I didn't outright tell him to stop.

Later on, over dinner, my friend said to me that I needed to have a word with him or his parents about doing that in public, because we're not people of colour, and it might be offensive, particularly if there are POC around. I said he's just a little kid pretending to be a superhero and I don't think it's a big deal. He's not doing an accent or anything, he's just saying the words and crossing his arms. She got a little annoyed at me and kept saying that I needed to speak to his parents about it and nip it in the bud as he could grow up to say much more offensive things. I got quite upset when she said that because he's literally a five-year-old playing superheroes. We both left the restaurant and we haven't spoken since.

I've been thinking about our conversation since yesterday and now I'm not so sure I was right, maybe she has a point and I should have listened to her. (For context, my friend is also white. I know white people should be calling out white people, but I'm including this so it's clear I wasn't ignoring a POC on their lived experience).

Am I the rear end in a top hat? Should I get him to stop?

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:55

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

are my lips getting enough circulation?? I'm not sure anymore

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:55

haveblue: Aug 15, 2005; Toilet Rascal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uuSTjn7Bn_A

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:56

Cloacamazing!: Apr 18, 2018; Too cute to be evil

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for suggesting an open relationship to my wife?

quote:

I explained to her how it's not forever and asked if she would be okay with an open relationship but only open on my side because I don't want another man to touch my wife and she has been with people besides me before we met. I told her it's not a big deal and it's just like going out to dinner instead of coming home to eat leftovers. This made things worse and made her start to break down crying.

Holy poo poo

# ? Mar 22, 2022 15:58

Olive Branch: May 26, 2010; There is no wealth like knowledge, no poverty like ignorance.

Kurieg posted:

"Her Meats are Well Distributed" is real loving weird and I can understand bouncing off of the story after that but she immediately follows that up with "She has full lips, but they are a little unhealthy because she has a poor blood circulation. She has amber eyes, but her eyelids are thick and making her eyes look small."

How many hours a day does OP spend just staring at her roommate like a serial killer?

There is an idea of an AITA Redditor; some kind of abstraction. But there is no real poster: only an entity, something illusory. And though I can hide my shitposts, and you can upvote my comments and feel karma boosting yours and maybe you can even sense our subreddits are probably comparable... I simply am not there.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 16:02

QueenAnnesDead: Apr 17, 2016

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for not stopping my nephew from doing the Wakanda Forever sign?

Oh gosh life, art, SNL can still hold mirror up etc.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iGKffRRIMko

# ? Mar 22, 2022 16:23

Nebrilos: Oct 9, 2012

Halloween Jack posted:

Persona Grenada
What a wonderful phrase
Persona Grenada
For abandoned babes

AITA for suggesting an open relationship to my wife?

Wait wait, I am bad at metaphors. Did this genius just describe his wife, the woman he vowed in front of a priest and all his friends and family as witnesses, that he would love and cherish forever, to the exclusion of all others, as "leftovers" ?

# ? Mar 22, 2022 16:36

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Invisible Clergy posted:

NAH for "no assholes here" is the response intended for such situations.

Except that OP spoke of his wife with utter contempt through all the comments.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 16:38

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for forbidding my brother bringing his gf in our family events because my husband doesn't like it?

quote:

My husband is an extremely religious and traditional guy and he's not a fan of couples introducing each other to family unless they're ready to get married. He only met my family for the first time after our engagement and that's when I met his as well. I didn't grow up like this but its truly something that does not bother me at all, or else I wouldn't have married him.

My brother used to date a different girl every month for 2 years straight. My husband didn't mind about my brother's dating life but he'd flip out if anyone even thought of allowing my brother to let any of his flings visit family gatherings. My brother wasn't planning to but he got mad over how heated my husband was over this and told me over and over on who he chooses to bring over to family events is none of my husband's business.

For the past 1.5 year, my brother has been dating this girl and they're pretty serious. I've met her, so has my husband. She seems like a very nice and sweet person. They've also expressed how they may get engaged soon.

The drama had started during Xmas holidays. My husband and I told my parents that if they host Xmas in their house they better notify my brother that his gf is not invited. My parents were mad we requested that, called us unreasonable but ended up following through. My brother wasn't too pleased and he was mad on Xmas day that we didn't include his gf. I reminded him that once they make it official she will be allowed to come and it's not personal against her. He was still mad and he said this is the last time this is happening.

Last weekend was my mom's bday and due to the fact she's spent her bday alone with my dad for two years straight she wanted to do something special this year and host a nice party. Before the party my husband reminded my mom of the no gf rule. My mom flipped out at him and so did my dad and they told us we are being extreme with this and they have no right to dictate who enters their house in family events and that my brother's gf will tag along whenever she wants whether we like it or not. My brother ended up coming to the party with his gf and he acted like a champion for defeating my husband on this one. My husband was mad the entire night and wouldn't speak to a soul. Before we left he only told my brother "you must feel proud for acting like a oval office". My entire family who was invited at my mom's party was calling us TAs for having this rule in the first place.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 16:38

Kurieg: Jul 19, 2012; RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20

Nebrilos posted:

Wait wait, I am bad at metaphors. Did this genius just describe his wife, the woman he vowed in front of a priest and all his friends and family as witnesses, that he would love and cherish forever, to the exclusion of all others, as "leftovers" ?

To her face even, yes.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 16:41

Arsenic Lupin: Apr 12, 2012; This particularly rapid💨 unintelligible 😖patter💁 isn't generally heard🧏‍♂️, and if it is🤔, it doesn't matter💁.

Halloween Jack posted:

AITA for suggesting an open relationship to my wife?

quote:
(They don't have much in common but since the are both women I thought they would become friends)

# ? Mar 22, 2022 16:42

Upgrade: Jun 19, 2021

Olive Branch posted:

This is GBS, that goes without saying! And since it's all about being lazy and not giving a poo poo, here's a story.

AITA for telling my friend that laziness is what makes her unattractive?

I�m assuming the writer is not a native English speaker but even still this is the most bizarrely written story in ages

# ? Mar 22, 2022 16:43

DaysBefore: Jan 24, 2019

Lmfao even the people at my Catholic Church would think that's weird and extreme. I've never heard of that, her husband is a huge rear end and so is she for going along with it.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 16:43

Soylent Pudding: Jun 22, 2007; We've got people!

AITA for asking the bride if my 3yo can wear white to a wedding?

quote:

I�m really torn by this. My brother(31) is about to be married. I(33M) am one of the groomsmen. My wife had informed me that our daughter (3) will be wearing a white dress to the wedding. I wasn�t sure if this was appropriate as I thought it was mainly brides and flower girls would wear white. My wife didn�t care if any little girls wore white at our own wedding and others that she know say they don�t care. My daughter will be the only child attending amongst about 80ish guests as she is the only grandchild in either family. There are no flower girls or page boys participating in the wedding.

I try to be considerate as possible, as obviously it�s not my wedding, so I asked my brother whether there�s an issue with it. And he says it will be. White is strictly for the bride, which I respect. Her wedding, her rules. And I don�t want any dramas.

Now my wife is calling me out on it, calling me all sorts of names. Saying that I should�ve stood up for my daughter. Saying I should�ve kept my mouth shut and not mentioned anything and just rocked up with her wearing her white dress. She wants the bride and groom to pay for a new dress ( which was a hand me down from the beginning). I am fine to go and get another dress but now it seems she won�t back down out of principle.

I feel I did the right thing. But my wife�s reaction makes it seem like it wasn�t.

AITA for checking with the bride and groom?

# ? Mar 22, 2022 16:46

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# ? May 14, 2024 14:28

hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

Soylent Pudding posted:

AITA for forbidding my brother bringing his gf in our family events because my husband doesn't like it?

I'm gonna need some quotes from the scripture on this one

# ? Mar 22, 2022 16:47

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