[COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > [COVID] 1 Million! We did it! :toot: :911:

tangy yet delightful: Sep 13, 2005

Thoguh posted:

The thread title can now reasonably be assumed to be something that the White House Press Secretary will say at least once in the coming weeks.

congrats, involuntarily laughed out loud at this

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:43

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# ? May 30, 2024 13:06

Thoguh: Nov 8, 2002; College Slice

mags posted:

Here's hoping COVID leads to the arrest of Hillary Clinton

Hillary Clinton has information the will lead to the arrest of COVID.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:44

Pink Mist: Sep 28, 2021

Real Mean Queen posted:

First, lmao

Second, who is this person she�s imagining that has not gotten vaccinated, but will get vaccinated because Hillary Clinton said to while announcing a breakthrough infection?

There is none. She's reiterating that vaccines alone are the solution.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:44

mags: May 30, 2008; I am a congenital optimist.

Iron Crowned posted:

Yeah, cardiac arrest

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:44

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

Iron Crowned posted:

Yeah, cardiac arrest

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:45

wash bucket: Feb 21, 2006

Real Mean Queen posted:

First, lmao

Second, who is this person she�s imagining that has not gotten vaccinated, but will get vaccinated because Hillary Clinton said to while announcing a breakthrough infection?

"Please get vaccinated and boosted!" is the new "Thoughts and prayers! 🤗"

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:45

Greg Legg: Oct 6, 2004

redreader posted:

Well, it WAS obama, but now it's also Clinton lol
https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/1506397903765581836

Whoa holy poo poo

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:46

Lacrosse: Jun 16, 2010; >:V

Truly incredible content today

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:46

Greg Legg: Oct 6, 2004

I was feeling pretty down because my son's preschool teacher sends us pictures and he's the only one in a mask right now. Now that I'm all caught up here I'm less concerned about that. He really doesn't seem to mind it!

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:47

fosborb: Dec 15, 2006; Chronic Good Poster

redreader posted:

Well, it WAS obama, but now it's also Clinton lol
https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/1506397903765581836

hahaaha

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:47

Nichael: Mar 30, 2011

welcome back covid, I missed you!

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:47

Gildiss: Aug 24, 2010; Grimey Drawer

Also lmao that once again we are getting 500k cases today in Korea and the biggest news is the new President elect refuses to live in the equivalent of the white house because a shaman told him it is cursed. So he wants to move into the equivalent of like the pentagon and evict the heads of military to do it within 50 days.

The only covid plan he wants is to remove these harmful restrictions on small businesses.

:rubby:

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:48

Koirhor: Jan 14, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

redreader posted:

Well, it WAS obama, but now it's also Clinton lol
https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/1506397903765581836

SO THAT HAPPENED!

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:49

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Stereotype posted:

viruses are scary poo poo and we don't really understand them or all of their effects. it is not at all surprising that a virus that can just straight up kill you can also do a bunch of weird things like make everything smell like an ashtray for the rest of your life or make it so you get winded just standing up

seems like it'd be a good idea to avoid catching the novel virus we barely know anything about!

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:49

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

Thoguh posted:

Hillary Clinton has information the will lead to the arrest of COVID.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:50

Louisgod: Sep 25, 2003; Always Watching; Bread Liar

it's truly her turn now

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:50

Zugzwang: Jan 2, 2005; You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.; Ramrod XTreme

Louisgod posted:

it's truly her turn now

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:51

Woodsy Owl: Oct 27, 2004

McCracAttack posted:

Got a 20-pack of BNX N95 masks from Home Depot in. The more I wear them the more I think I like them better than the 3M Aura. They're manufactured in the USA which means they'll probably be out of business before the next wave hits so stock up now!

In my experience, the nose wire on these is much worse than 3M Aura. It is difficult to get a good seal around the nose. Bad seal is a death sentence.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:51

Zisky: May 6, 2003; PM me and I will show you my tits

Louisgod posted:

it's truly her turn now

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:52

JAY ZERO SUM GAME: Oct 18, 2005; Walter.
I know you know how to do this.
Get up.

Louisgod posted:

it's truly her turn now

rofl

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:52

Joementum: May 23, 2004; jesus christ

not news to anyone here but a fun read

https://twitter.com/Econ_Marshall/status/1506387182419779588

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:52

Greg Legg: Oct 6, 2004

Louisgod posted:

it's truly her turn now

hahahaha

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:53

Pingui: Jun 4, 2006; WTF?

This is some real psycho poo poo:

https://time.com/6159152/rethink-covid-19-risk-tolerance/ posted:

It's Time to Rethink Your COVID-19 Risk Tolerance
The U.S. is taking a crash course in learning to �live with the virus.� Policymakers and health experts agree that we have migrated to a less-disruptive COVID-19 endemic phase. This has produced extensive commentary on what living with the virus, and achieving the �new normal� might look like�liberating some while confusing others. Many people have spent two years avoiding and fearing the virus and are now being advised that it�s safe to unmask and to resume a normal social life. For them, this has not ushered in a comfortable sense of natural transition, but instead has caused a national emotional whiplash. Psychologists call this avoidance conflict.
(..)
In this era of cautious fraught optimism, few have grasped the stark reality that for the country to successfully navigate to a sustainable endemic phase, most of us must transition from avoiding to accepting transmission and infections. Let�s sit with that for a second. This should be the center-point of our endemic-phase policies and practices. This is the seismic shift that will ultimately enable us to live in a sustainable new normal.
(..)
1) Accept that we can�t outrun Omicron
(..)
Further outbreaks of high caseloads should not set off alarms to deviate from a steadfast endemic-phase new paradigm, as long as the vulnerable population�which suffers the brunt of the disease burden�is protected from infection. We have accepted coexistence with many other communicable pathogens with similar characteristics in the past, without undue mental trauma or physical disruption. Now it�s COVID-19�s turn.
(..)
2) Identify �vulnerable� and �non-vulnerable� risk sub-groups
The public has been conditioned by dire whole population numbers (all test-positive cases, hospitalizations, and deaths). This drives risk perceptions, and actions for much of COVID-19 policy. Throughout the pandemic this has resulted in a grossly inaccurate and distorted view of individual risk and has led to excessive mass avoidance behaviors and bad policy. This flawed lens must now be replaced.
(..)
In this new paradigm about 20-25 percent of the American population has a current risk of serious illness from Omicron significantly greater than that of the seasonal flu. These vulnerable people are anyone over 65, and increasing exponentially with advanced age, immunological susceptibility, and significant comorbidities. The immunocompromised of any age are also included. This group must avoid infection, which is their key prevention metric.

The remaining 75-80 percent of Americans are �non-vulnerable� as defined by having a similar or lower chance of serious outcomes from Omicron than from the seasonal flu. This group does not need to avoid infection. Their important metric is serious disease and deaths, not cases.
(..)
3) Prioritize protection of the high-risk vulnerable population
(..)
For those in the vulnerable group, there is unfortunately no dramatic new normal. This is not a societal but a viral imposition. COVID-19 and its variants have taken an unimaginable and inequitable toll in the vulnerable population. Vaccines and boosters have slowed but have not stemmed this tide. Society will need to intensively work through protective public accommodations, and each vulnerable individual and household will need a viable plan.

4) Plan for the most likely scenario
Many are rightfully apprehensive about important �known unknowns� relating to COVID-19 infection. This includes the emergence of new variants, the dangers of Long Covid, the lack of an approved vaccine for infants and young children, and other possible adverse developments. These are all legitimate concerns, however the positive risk-benefit calculus for most individuals and society favors the resumption of our normal lives. Strategic decisions in war are usually focused on �most likely case� assumptions while also preparing for a �worst case.� As new information develops we must maintain the capacity to pivot quickly if things change for the worse.

5) Unite the country through minimizing restrictions
(..)
Pulling together as a society is likely to be most effective when it is the collective embodiment of individual expression. This would not only produce public health dividends, but also boost the economy and help restore America�s full productivity and dynamism at a particularly challenging time in our history.

Adopting these guideposts will accelerate our progress to the new normal. It will take time, tenacity, and societal consensus to reach our goal. But the pandemic off-ramp is clearly in view.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:53

ploots: Mar 19, 2010

U-DO Burger posted:

when shopping for omicron use the following chart to determine which variant is right for your immune system

is pillowpants forcing you to post this blink twice for yes

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:54

Zeriel: Nov 6, 2004

redreader posted:

Well, it WAS obama, but now it's also Clinton lol
https://twitter.com/HillaryClinton/status/1506397903765581836

Hmm. No tweet from Bill saying he has it too
:thunk:

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:54

WampaLord: Jan 14, 2010

Louisgod posted:

it's truly her turn now

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:54

BoothBaberGinsburg: Jan 4, 2021

Louisgod posted:

it's truly her turn now

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:55

A Bakers Cousin: Dec 18, 2003; by vyelkin

Guess epsteins deadhand finally hit the intended target

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:56

Pink Mist: Sep 28, 2021

Pingui posted:

This is some real psycho poo poo:

I'm going loving crazy over here

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:57

U-DO Burger: Nov 12, 2007

Louisgod posted:

it's truly her turn now

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:57

Zugzwang: Jan 2, 2005; You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.; Ramrod XTreme

Pingui posted:

This is some real psycho poo poo:

MD/MPH epidemiologist author, lol

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:57

wash bucket: Feb 21, 2006

Woodsy Owl posted:

In my experience, the nose wire on these is much worse than 3M Aura. It is difficult to get a good seal around the nose. Bad seal is a death sentence.

That has not been my experience and my glasses fit much better with these masks. You should get a nose shaped like mine.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:58

Pink Mist: Sep 28, 2021

"Society will need to intensively work through protective public accommodations"?! Hmm I wonder what that looks like??!

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:58

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

Pink Mist posted:

"Society will need to intensively work through protective public accommodations"?! Hmm I wonder what that looks like??!?!

Anything but protective public accommodations

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:59

Trixie Hardcore: Jul 1, 2006; Placeholder.

Trixie Hardcore posted:

Did this get posted yet? I caught up on the thread but might have missed it

https://twitter.com/WmHaseltine/status/1505972833498849290

Quoting this to highlight a fun paragraph

quote:

For a vast majority of people, the regenerative properties of the olfactory bulb restores the sense of smell within a few weeks or months. What about the rest of the brain? Damage to brain cells cannot be reversed. When tissues die, cerebrospinal fluid and other biomolecules fill the excess space to maintain the integrity of the brain. Perhaps, this explains why neurological complications associated with long-haul Covid-19 show little improvement over time. Years of additional research are needed before the consequences of losing so much gray matter are fully understood.

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:59

tenderjerk: Nov 6, 2008; Can't post for 366 days!

The odds are very good that Hillary will defeat covid in a head to head matchup

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:59

Koirhor: Jan 14, 2008; by Fluffdaddy

Hoping clinton body count means something different in a few weeks

# ? Mar 22, 2022 23:59

Salt Fish: Sep 11, 2003; Cybernetic Crumb

McCracAttack posted:

Got a 20-pack of BNX N95 masks from Home Depot in. The more I wear them the more I think I like them better than the 3M Aura. They're manufactured in the USA which means they'll probably be out of business before the next wave hits so stock up now!

I think you have to manufacture in the USA to get a NIOSH n95 certification.

# ? Mar 23, 2022 00:00

Plank Walker: Aug 11, 2005

relax people, hillary waited to catch BA.2 because it's mild and will be an easy win

# ? Mar 23, 2022 00:01

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# ? May 30, 2024 13:06

Pingui: Jun 4, 2006; WTF?

Gildiss posted:

Also lmao that once again we are getting 500k cases today in Korea and the biggest news is the new President elect refuses to live in the equivalent of the white house because a shaman told him it is cursed. So he wants to move into the equivalent of like the pentagon and evict the heads of military to do it within 50 days.

The only covid plan he wants is to remove these harmful restrictions on small businesses.

I don't know, it seems to be under control:

https://abcnews.go.com/Health/wireStory/south-koreas-covid-19-deaths-strain-crematories-hospitals-83593674 posted:

South Korea's COVID-19 deaths strain crematories, hospitals
Health officials in South Korea have instructed crematories to burn more bodies per day and funeral homes to add more refrigerators to store the dead
(..)
Officials have already allowed the 60 crematories across country to burn for longer hours starting last week, which raised their combined capacity from around 1,000 to 1,400 cremations per day.

But that hasn�t been enough to meaningfully ease the backlog of bodies waiting to be cremated in the densely populated Seoul metropolitan area, which is home to half of South Korea�s 52 million people and the center of its COVID-19 outbreak. The backlog has also trickled down to funeral homes at hospitals and other facilities, where families have struggled to make funeral arrangements because of the longer wait for cremations.

Senior Health Ministry official Son Youngrae said during a briefing that officials will instruct regional crematories to increase furnace operations from five times to seven times a day, which would match the levels at crematories in the greater capital area.

Crematories will also be asked to receive reservations from outside their regions � something many facilities don�t typically do � to reduce the backlog in the Seoul region, Son said.

The country�s 1,136 funeral homes at hospitals and other facilities are currently capable of housing some 8,700 bodies, and officials will ask them to increase their capacity by adding more refrigerators or rooms with cooling systems.
(..)

# ? Mar 23, 2022 00:02

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