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That enclosure is woefully inadequate
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Mar 21, 2022 04:19
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:A hippo nearly escapes from its zoo exhibit and the patrons just stand around and watch, so the poor fuckin' security guard has to step in and convince the hippo to back down :3 they're just big deadly dumb dogs :333
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Mar 21, 2022 04:25
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What did you do at work today? Told a drunk guy to get a taxi home, slapped a hippo in the face, kicked some kids out for smoking. You know, the usual.
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Mar 21, 2022 04:57
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The first time it snapped at him I thought for sure I was about to see a man die
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Mar 21, 2022 05:22
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flavor.flv posted:The first time it snapped at him I thought for sure I was about to see a man die Yeah, I was thinking "Either this dude has to do this everyday so he's inured to the danger or he has NO idea what he is messing with". Hippos are insanely dangerous creatures.
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Mar 21, 2022 06:31
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Vitruvian Manic posted:Yeah, I was thinking "Either this dude has to do this everyday so he's inured to the danger or he has NO idea what he is messing with". Hippos are insanely dangerous creatures. Kind of like that waitress who dragged a huge lizard from its tail and looked like she really knew how to handle them, but she was actually a foreigner, who acted instinctively.
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Mar 21, 2022 06:41
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Kennel posted:Kind of like that waitress who dragged a huge lizard from its tail and looked like she really knew how to handle them, but she was actually a foreigner, who acted instinctively. It was a lace monitor, which can really gently caress you up if it gets its claws into you https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8R5cI1CF_lE
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Mar 21, 2022 06:46
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"How would I convince a hippo to back down off a fence?" is not a question I've ever pondered before 30 seconds ago, but I decided immediately that "smack it in the face" is not my answer.
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Mar 21, 2022 07:41
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Lady Disdain posted:"How would I convince a hippo to back down off a fence?" is not a question I've ever pondered before 30 seconds ago, but I decided immediately that "smack it in the face" is not my answer. Gotta be ALPHA bro.
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Mar 21, 2022 07:43
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Snowglobe of Doom posted:It was a lace monitor, which can really gently caress you up if it gets its claws into you I've had to do this with iguanas and so long as you keep moving they can't whip round fast enough and get you. Then when you let them go they run straight back in because they are so very, very stupid.
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Mar 21, 2022 07:46
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Lady Disdain posted:"How would I convince a hippo to back down off a fence?" is not a question I've ever pondered before 30 seconds ago, but I decided immediately that "smack it in the face" is not my answer. The way he goes from its one side to the othe and back between slaps really makes it look like he knows what he is doing. Maybe the hippo thinks it's being smacked by different people and backs down because "Oh poo poo, they got superior numbers!"
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Mar 21, 2022 09:16
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Grendels Dad posted:The way he goes from its one side to the othe and back between slaps really makes it look like he knows what he is doing. Maybe the hippo thinks it's being smacked by different people and backs down because "Oh poo poo, they got superior numbers!" More likely "after this I get shocked repeatedly" I have seen a woman grab and throw a snake that got near her kid, just yeeted that fucker by the tail without a second thought. Then instantly broke into tears when it set in wtf she just did.
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Mar 21, 2022 17:49
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Lady Disdain posted:"How would I convince a hippo to back down off a fence?" is not a question I've ever pondered before 30 seconds ago, but I decided immediately that "smack it in the face" is not my answer. I would've used a branch or stick or something, bare-handed is insane. Not that it would save me if the hippo went over but it would've made me fell better with a little distance. Plus the illusion of height, I guess.
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Mar 24, 2022 08:34
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I would calmly debate the hippo into submission.
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Mar 24, 2022 12:25
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I'd seduce the hippo
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Mar 24, 2022 12:48
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I would have basically been like
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Mar 24, 2022 13:07
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Jim Silly-Balls posted:I would have basically been like You would have dated and then married a child? Oh, mod star
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Mar 24, 2022 13:34
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Yes, that is what you should take from that joke
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Mar 24, 2022 13:44
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Hitting is wrong. Have you tried sitting down and talking with the Hippo to understand why its misbehaving?
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Mar 24, 2022 14:20
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That hippo is out there, it cant be bargained with, it cant be reasoned with, it doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop... EVER, until you are dead
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Mar 24, 2022 15:14
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Biplane posted:I would calmly debate the hippo into submission. Impale the beast on the deadly horns of dialectic debate.
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Mar 24, 2022 16:02
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If there's one thing I know about Hippos, it's that they are hungry
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Mar 24, 2022 16:06
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Ornamental Dingbat posted:That hippo is out there, it cant be bargained with, it cant be reasoned with, it doesn't feel pity or remorse or fear, and it absolutely will not stop... EVER, until you are dead Hippos continue to be a metaphor for capitalism
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Mar 24, 2022 16:08
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I would sate the creature with a series of white bowling balls.
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Mar 24, 2022 16:57
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Zookeeper: You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? Perfect organism. Its structural thiccness matched only by its hostility. Security Guard: You admire it. Zookeeper: I admire its purity. A survivor... unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of watermelons. Security Guard: Look, I am... I've heard enough of this, and I'm asking you to pull the plug. Zookeeper: Last word. Security Guard: What? Zookeeper: I can't lie to you about your chances, but... you have my sympathies.
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Mar 24, 2022 17:16
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Reminder that hippos mark territory by violently defecating while flinging their tails in a circle to scatter it every which way An animal whose lived experience is "the poo poo hits the fan"
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Mar 24, 2022 17:21
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freeedr posted:You would have dated and then married a child? Changing my name to Childlike Hippo so the mods will go easy on me.
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Mar 24, 2022 17:51
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Platystemon posted:I would sate the creature with a series of white bowling balls. I mean, just cut a big watermelon in half & chuck it in the pen, I'm sure it'll chase after delicious num-nums
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Mar 24, 2022 18:57
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Blue Footed Booby posted:I'd seduce the hippo iirc correctly this involves spraying your poo poo and piss in every direction
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Mar 24, 2022 20:11
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Atticus_1354 posted:Changing my name to Childlike Hippo so the mods will go easy on me. Wonder what Childlike Empress is up to?
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Mar 24, 2022 20:14
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https://va.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_r95zy4ldy31r0uzl6.mp4
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Mar 24, 2022 20:32
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https://twitter.com/DudespostingWs/status/1507400751634653188?s=20&t=69Wu_QGi_aVZoyMfPanFrw
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Mar 25, 2022 20:59
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AKA Pseudonym posted:https://twitter.com/DudespostingWs/status/1507400751634653188?s=20&t=69Wu_QGi_aVZoyMfPanFrw Should I rewatch Drop Zone?
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Mar 25, 2022 23:37
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I always thought parachutes deployed automatically in case of situations like this, but google says that they don't 
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Mar 25, 2022 23:49
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Lady Disdain posted:I always thought parachutes deployed automatically in case of situations like this, but google says that they don't Military chutes--aside from certain spec ops poo poo--have their ripcord attached to the plane so it auto deploys. Everyone else has to pull the cord.
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Mar 26, 2022 00:12
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Blue Footed Booby posted:Military chutes--aside from certain spec ops poo poo--have their ripcord attached to the plane so it auto deploys. Everyone else has to pull the cord. Yeah, but I had also heard they had an altimeter that would deploy a chute automatically if it still hasn't been deployed by a certain altitude. Thinking about it now though, that would be rather complicated to build. You'd need a deployment mechanism, the altimeter, a way to know at least one chute was deployed and then not trigger, a way to not deploy on the ground or on the way up...
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Mar 26, 2022 00:38
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AKA Pseudonym posted:https://twitter.com/DudespostingWs/status/1507400751634653188?s=20&t=69Wu_QGi_aVZoyMfPanFrw thats a medal right there a civilian one, which is the only ones that count
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Mar 26, 2022 01:00
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Cat Hatter posted:Yeah, but I had also heard they had an altimeter that would deploy a chute automatically if it still hasn't been deployed by a certain altitude. Thinking about it now though, that would be rather complicated to build. You'd need a deployment mechanism, the altimeter, a way to know at least one chute was deployed and then not trigger, a way to not deploy on the ground or on the way up... Google says that these are a thing, but they're not built into all parachutes; they're an optional extra or whatever.
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Mar 26, 2022 01:41
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Lady Disdain posted:Google says that these are a thing, but they're not built into all parachutes; they're an optional extra or whatever. Also they have a failure rate that’s probably higher than “I grabbed the guy and pulled the cord.”
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Mar 26, 2022 02:19
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| # ? May 11, 2024 17:24 |
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Lady Disdain posted:Google says that these are a thing, but they're not built into all parachutes; they're an optional extra or whatever. Neat! So it looks like they automatically calibrate ground level when you turn it on and then activates a tiny explosive to deploy the reserve chute if the altimeter is rapidly decreasing when it gets to the deployment altitude. So that takes care of the "deploying on an airplane" problem. Wikipedia says the older mechanical versions were less reliable and I can't imagine ever trusting whatever clockwork they came up with to try and make that work. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Automatic_activation_device
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Mar 26, 2022 02:22
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